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JAN 2020 | ISSUE No. 1






The Intention of the first EVER issue at The Kind Of Convo Magazine


Passion for what you do will fuel your journey. Matt speaks on how he has been able to pursue his dreams as a gourmet chef with the love and support of the people around him.


Faith and finances go hand in hand. Jenna brings a biblical perspective on the importance of money management according to the word of God.


Mindset is everything. Mo talks all things headspace during the journey of pursuing a creative passion in today’s world.


Without integrity, your cause means nothing. Christina stresses the importance of doing the right thing throughout all phases of your movement.



Amanda Castro

Design Director Senior Editor Contributing Photographer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Advertising Director Feature Feature Feature Feature Feature

Amanda Castro Raymond Perez Corey Roncoroni David Barajas Edgar Euan Alyssa Maureen Olivia Mason Matt Palmer Mo Griffith Shelby & Marc Abrea Jenna Herrera Christina Brophy

EDITORIAL OFFICE Oxnard, CA 93036 805 | The Kind Of Convo  is published by Issuu Inc. 131 Lytton AvePalo Alto, CA 94301 @TheKindOfConvo


Faith, family, business, and FUN. March and Shelby share their love stories through the most important seasons of their lives. JAN 2020 | Page 1



TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1



appy New Year and welcome to the conversation! This year, I encourage you to stay hopeful and focused on what is to come not only in the new year, but in the new DECADE! With this being our first issue EVER, there was no doubt that it called for some life tips and tricks straight from community leaders to kick off 2020.

I decided to name this issue RESOLUTE & PURSUE to ensure that we weren’t just sharing the successes of others but also giving you tools that will help you pursue your own goals and dreams. The January conversations are devoted to providing quality lessons to help you move forward in business, personal development, and family life. With that in mind, we’ve chosen to focus on three stages of said process: reflection, plan, and action. To bring these stages to life, we've asked some of our community’s most purpose-driven leaders to share their own experiences and wisdom. As you read along in this issue, keep in mind that the kind of conversations you come across are far more than “HOW TO’s”. They are the truths of the people around you. My prayer is that this issue will set your soul on fire and encourage you to step forward in your own journey, whatever and wherever that may be. So my friendscheers to a decade full of love, success, and fulfillment! Now, let's get to talkin.... 

Amanda Castro 2

Photographed by Andrew Mori


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TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1


0202 yraunaJ JAN 2020 | Page 6

y e H

a m a M

by Alyssa Maureen

To the mama who struggles to think of a “good” New Year’s Resolution, you are not alone sistah! New year’s resolutions have been said to be “cliché” but after this conversation I hope you'll find the beauty and power in having one. The day you become a mother is the day your life changes in every way possible. It’s not about you anymore, it is about your baby. How many times have we heard that one?? Our children become our priority the moment we find out we are pregnant, and it feels like nothing else matters. We strive to be the best mothers, and we can be so hard on ourselves sometimes, don’t you think? As we navigate through the MOM LIFE it becomes so easy to forget about ourselves. Whether it's forgetting to pack yourself a lunch after packing your kids’ lunch or forgetting you planned a date with your girlfriends because…well…KIDS. We just kind of put ourselves on the back burner without realizing it. We love our children so much that we want to give them ALL of us 24/7. Once I became a mom it was all about my kids. My social life was pretty much non-existent for a while. I had my kids 18 months apart so I spent the first few years, trying to honestly just keep it together. All of the side effects ( I like to call them) of being a new mom on top of trying to keep all of the other areas of your life in order, is not always easy.


“In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.” – Myla Kabat-Zinn Back in 2018 I had a season of being “Under Construction” as I like to call it. It was the first year ever that I made a New Year’s resolution. What I did was dedicate that year to selfcare. What this meant for me was learning to love myself again - both internally and externally, but most importantly not feeling guilty about it. The mom guilt that comes with doing things for yourself can get in the way of growth, and opportunities. Maybe there are people in your life that shame you. Or even just your own conscious making you feel bad for being away from your children for a few hours. Please know that it is okay to be a mother and have goals and aspirations. It is okay to be a mother and do things you love to do. This idea that once you become a mom, its not about you anymore, has got to go! it is very much about you too this year, I want to encourage you to practice self-care. Not just as a resolution for the year but incorporate nurturing your own self into your lifestyle. Now I’m not saying ditch your kids and YOLO..but tending to yourself is important and you deserve “me” time too. It can be something you do, like pick up a new hobby, read, exercise or even a trip to the grocery store without your child where you get to take your time and read every single ingredient in the product because you simply can. Look at a new year like an opportunity. An opportunity to search within, grow, learn, try new things. Always remember that you’re not just a regular mama, you’re a BOSS MAMA who deserves to be confident and strong. Not just for her tribe, but for herself too. TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1


“A Heels Dance Experience” Empowering ALL levels, backgrounds, sizes & genders Wednesday Nights @ 7:30pm Location: Fuzion Fitness, CA

Never give up, don't EVER stop having fun and HUSTLE 100x over and over again Did you know that Matt has been cooking for 13 years? It’s no wonder his food is so darn delicious. Matt has been able to gain a ton of experience over the years by working his way up from working at restaurants as a part of the serving staff to getting promoted and flying out to different states to help them open up. Now, he is the head chef at a gourmet restaurant in Ventura County, CA. Hard work is no stranger to this man of God. At one point in timefor 3 years straight, he worked 3 jobs after being faced with the decision of moving to Las Vegas with his family or staying behind to pursue his career. The Chef Palmer brand has had an explosion of growth within the past few years and in my attempt to find out what the key attributes were for someone else to have the same sort of brand explosion, I was instead fascinated by the genuine love and passion that Matt displayed for not only his craft but his community as well . SO what is at the core of exponential growth in business and branding? Palmer is here to tell you it lies within your heart and crusade. Matt began by saying the first part of growth is self reflection. Before you can continue on with intention, you need to take a step back and see how far you have already come. This anchors a sense of gratitude. He went on to say that you HAVE to have patience and be persistent during the GRIND because nothing will come easy - especially when you are feeling down. Further, spread love from the heart by empowering others around you and building genuine friendships.

JAN 2020 | Page10


How do you measure success?

"I don't measure or compare my success with anything or anyone else. I only measure my progress. I am constantly reflecting on HOW FAR I've come and how many people I've helped. That's my success. "


What is the end goal?

"My vision is to create a place for people to come in and collaborate with one another. I'll pair that up with my own food truck and give the community a home base to do great things. But ultimately, it's God's plan and I wouldn't ever ask for anything more. "


Is social media a crucial piece of growing your brand?

"Absolutely, but it should be used to spread love and support within the community. We don't need to brag, we need to motivate. I use social media to collaborate with positive people and give back. It's about the relationships you build for your brand and social media can help with that. No business makes it on it's own."


What is your advice to the next generation of entreprenuers?

"TUNE EVERYTHING OUT. Your accomplishments will not impress everyone, your growth will make others uncomfortable but as long as you don't give up and you surround yourself with a power circle, you will make it!"

During our conversation, Palmer was notified that he was nominated for chef of the year in 2019! Congratulations, Chef p! TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1

”Creatives dedicated to community betterment and youth enrichment.” @TheRoseGardenFoundation

The Rose Garden Foundation’s 1st Annual “Holiday Hoops“ Toy Drive 2019.

The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. STEVE JOBS

Build a business plan By Amanda Castro

Have you ever started a business or side hustle of some sort but continuously found yourself getting lost in the chaos of your day to day life? Did the thought of making this “side hustle” of yours your full time gig begin to seem so far out of reach? Or maybe you are just struggling to balance your full-time job with your part time business? Putting together a business plan may be just what you need. Your dedication to this business plan will keep you focused during the high points so that you don’t get discouraged during the low ones (because they will come).

A business plan will ensure that you see the bigger vision through the fog of adversity. I’ve been blessed enough to have been taught this from day ONE in business and it has helped me tremendously through the highs and the lows of being an entrepreneur. Peep the generic version on the next page. This version was designed for ANYONE to get started.

JAN 2020 | Page 14

A goal without a plan is just a wish



Let's get to it! Introduction: Write a few sentences about how you are feeling about the business you have started or are about to start.

Affirmations: The goal of creating your affirmations is to reprogram your mind for positive change. This is the person you are becoming so prompt your affirmations with “I am…”. See The Power of Affirmations article on page 28 for examples. Your “Why’s”: For this part, try not think so much of a monetary reason but more so what kind of experience or emotion you or the people you are doing this for will feel. For example, if one of your reason’s why is “my family’s dream home”, talk about what it will feel like being in that home. Think about where it will be, how safe you will feel, the smell of the air… is it by the beach? Is it in the country? How will you feel seeing your family walk into the home that you worked so hard for? Think about the memories you'll make there. I’d start with 5-10 reasons “why”. These reasons should make you emotional and drive you like nothing else can. It’s okay for this part to be a little long. It’s important. Goals and plans of action: Think short and long term. When will you have this business up and running? When will this become your full-time career? How much money will need to make in order to make it happen? TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1

What needs to be accomplished on a monthly basis in order for this business of yours to thrive? Think amount of production, sold inventory, clientele, following, number of networking events you will need to attend, centers of influence you will need to connect with, etc. What essential knowledge do you need to learn and by when? Are there any licenses or permits you will need for this business? When will you have those in place? Sacrifices: Use this section to give yourself a truthful self evaluation but remember not to use any negativity. Instead of saying things like… “I need to stop hanging out with friends that don't support me because they aren't doing anything with their lives”, say something like “I do not attend events or surround myself with people that do not support their own goals and dreams or mine” Strengths and weaknesses: Identify areas that could use some improvement and areas where you feel the most confident. This will allow you to use the skills that you already have in order to strengthen and grow though your weaknesses. Closing: Write a few sentences about how you feel knowing that this goal of yours CAN and WILL be accomplished. If you can dream it, you can achieve it! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember that this is a business PLAN meaning it requires action. Be intentional, stay focused, become disciplined, eliminate all distractions and do not let up. This version of your business plan should stay by your bedside so that it’s easily accessible every morning and night. Carry a shortened version of it with you OR in your phone that includes your INTRO, AFFIRMATIONS and GOALS for a quick reference and refuel throughout your day. This dream of yours is unique and nobody can do it like you can, don’t let it go to waste! Happy business planning everyone! JAN 2020 | Page 15



51% Beep me if you wanna reach me


8% *Scrolls up


17% 40 hours for someone else

83% 60 hours for yourself

73% Sleep? What is sleep?

27% Yo quiero, yo quiero dinero



92% *Flips page


This orThat?

Call me...maybe

With new goals comes new reads. Here are a handful of books for you to grow from month by month!

Books to read in 2020 Recommendations from The Team at The Kind Of Convo

177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class by Steve Seibold How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill #MaxOut Your Life by Ed Mylett The 5 AM Club by Robin S. Sharma Girl, Stop apologizing by Rachel Hollis A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie KondĹ? Couples That Work by Jennifer Petriglieri The Power Of Now By Eckhart Tolle The Magic Of Thinking Big By David J. Schwartz TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1



These are two things that industry giant, Jenna Herrera is INCREDIBLY devoted to teaching within the community. Jenna and I have been great friends for years. I've seen her bloom as a leader within the community as well as within her household. Throughout the years, and quite often if I am being perfectly honest- I'd ask her, "when the world comes crumbling in (as it does for us all from time to time), how do you keep it together?" Her answer then was, "JESUS". Her answer now is no different, "JUST JESUS". This time around, our conversation led with faith but we really focused our conversation on the financial mess within society. We discussed WHY so many families experience financial hardships. "Look around", she said. "The enemy surrounds us with mediocrity in the news, on TV, within music. We are being influenced and programmed for financial ruin by letting outside influences in." "There is however, a secret to breaking these cycles that only 1% of people will ever stay disciplined enough to find out." And in true Jenna fashion she emphasized, "BOOKS! The most successful people share their secrets within books". She proceeded to summarize a piece of an interview from Outwitting The DeviI by Napoleon Hill that brings forth additional methods that the devil uses to control a "drifter"... Can anyone take a wild guess at what this methos is? Yep, it's MONEY, the fear of poverty to be exact!


Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. JAN 2020 | Page 18


Proverbs 22:7

Lack of discipline comes from lack of education. Lack of education leads to outside influences. Outside influences cause a person not to think for themselves, and THAT is what creates a drifter. Once this happens, the drifter develops the fear of poverty causing them to save and give back sparingly.

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.


A secret from 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of The World Class : The great ones choose discipline over pleasure. Discipline is a DECISION that keeps you performing even when you don't feel like it. YOU MUST BE DISCIPLINED when managing your finances.

TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1


Herrera's advice to get started is to give yourself an honest self-evaluation. Remember that finances DOESN'T come easy to most so it's okay to call an advisor for help.

1. CASHFLOW: What is your takehome income every month? 2. BUDGET: Where does your money go? Jot down your monthly expenses: Mortgage, utilities, gas, groceries, etc. 3. DEBT: How much debt do you have? What is the minimum and how much do you pay every month? 4. RETIREMENT: Do you have a retirement plan? Do you understand it? 5. LIFE INSURANCE: Is your coverage enough? When is the last time you updated it? 6. PRESERVATION:Do you have an updated will/trust in place?

nwod ti etirW


Jenna Herrera

Welcome to the club

am by no means at the end game of achieving and accomplishing the vision and goals I have set out for myself... yet. I am however rhythmically going up and down in the metaphorical waves. So, if you’re in the same phase of your life, I'd like to welcome you to the mushroom club. Yes, the mushroom club named after the funny looking things that Mario eats to get bigger, the mushrooms that one friend keeps asking you to take on a trip to Joshua tree no matter how many times you emphatically say no. From my own hands-on research, I keep finding that once you make a decision to achieve something of great significance in your life it can alter your future along with your families, you begin a process. This process is immoral , it does not care if you do or do not, it's just simply a means of transporting


TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1

you to your next set of challenges meant to beat you down , break you, only to find yourself being rebuilt to garner a new set of challenges in your way. It is truly the sand paper of life. So why the mushroom club? The process mushrooms go through is often times very relatable. For lack of better words, mushrooms go through shit to get out of shit. Now I don’t know many things but I can tell you, I know how to get started. I started my process under a tough circumstance, in a tough situation. People say we have to have a good game plan, to be greatly prepared or a system to run in. I believe you need all these things along with the ability to adjust to the circumstances you're in. N O JAN M A D2020 I C | Page 2 4 20

The real key to endure and start adding W’s to the win column in the scoreboard of life is the mindset and the people around you, that's what's going to help you win. If we don't have the right people around us thinking and focusing on what it takes to win, we’re going to really struggle to be able to do that. The initial process begins with a vision. We must have a vision for what we want to accomplish, it doesn't really matter what we want to accomplish, or what we want to do. We just need to have a vision for it and then we have to understand and define a process of things that we need to do, to be able to accomplish this. Improve your sales goals, get to the gym by 5 am, eat healthier, you want to win a championship in sports, or have a more successful business. The most important thing (and where we fail the most) is the ability to have the discipline to execute every day. We heard it all the time growing up, obtaining the habit of being disciplined is doing what you're supposed to do, when you're supposed to do it, the way it's supposed to get done. We would all be millionaires if it was that easy. We would have all achieved our goals in a linear fashion. So, what delays our success? The simplest way many of us can relate to each other is through a series of questions we ask ourselves.


starts with self discipline

We all do it a hundred times a day and we all probably already have done it at some point today. I'll give you an example of what goes through our heads from one of the most winningest football coaches, he describes it as follows: On my right hand there's something that I know I'm supposed to do, that I really don't want to do, can I make myself do it? And on the left hand there's something that you know you're not supposed to but you want to do it, can you keep yourself from doing it? This moral code that we all use to make decisions and choices every day is what helps us stay focused on the process in what we need to do, to accomplish the vision that we all have for ourselves. We want to lose 10 lbs. that's the goal, that's the vision. Our trainer clearly defined everything we’re supposed to do so where do we fail? the weekend comes and we’re eating tri-tips and drinking Modelos all night. This is the issue, how do we get ourselves to do the right things and execute the plan that we have, all the time. Being dedicated to the habits and choices that will get you to where you want to go, and doing it consistently. There can be no great victories in life without tremendous adversity, you have to be able to overcome adversity and if you're going to do that you have to be a in a relentless pursuit to accomplish your vision. Stay in the process day to day, not affected by the past. Stay within the present and focused on what you need to do to be all that you can be. Not thinking about the result but the process on how to get there. So with the new decade upon us take that leap, begin the process, and welcome to the club.

David B arajas

A+ Customizations




JAN 2020 | Page 2 4


Passion fuels purpose Are you doing what you are doing because you enjoy it or are you doing what you are doing because you were told it’s what is expected of you?

Myself and Mo met up for coffee one early morning to have a conversation about how to stay true to who you are. As I was chatting with Mo, I grew an entirely new understanding of his perspective on doing what you love. What I appreciated most about this conversation was the authenticity of Mo just being Mo. Mo began playing baseball at the age of 4 all the way into his late teen years. In between then, he was diagnosed with leukemia at the young age of 12 and like the warrior that he is, he BEAT IT! Because of his battle with leukemia, Mo was encouraged to pursue a career in nursing. Although this was something that he was passionate about at the time, he quickly realized that he was only feeling accomplished because he was checking a box off a career checklist that he wasn’t mentally ready for. Mo has a very creative mind and empathic soul…(what a combo right?!) … both of which he knew needed to be fulfilled but wasn’t quite sure how that was going to be done until he came across a book titled, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. It was at this point where he realized that he needed to figure out what he was truly passionate about.

He began to step into the world of entrepreneurship in the music industry with some of his best friends which was when he began to use music to spread positive messages about individuality and dream chasing. This served as a creative outlet AND a form of therapy for not only him and his own journey but also for the people around him. SIDE NOTE: During this talk- I wanted to make sure that Mo and his CIRCLE understood how inspiring their brotherhood is looking from the outside in. They uplift each other and leverage each others passions and talents to help each other grow. It’s a beautiful thing. But back to the talk, as you can imagine… it’s not always easy to make a life shift when the people you love and care about do not understand your aspirations. I knew that Mo had to overcome a ton of questioning and doubt as to why he would choose to pursue his love for music so I was curious to find out have he maintained such an honest and forward thinking mindset. I asked him how and why he prioritizes having this kind of headspace. His answer was, “ There was a moment when the Dr. told my mother and I that I was diagnosed with cancer and I remember going to the bathroom and asking God why this was happening. I could only think of 3 things: I want to play baseball, I want to see my friends, and I haven’t fallen in love yet. So why? Well I don’t want to give up on that kid and the dreams that he had. He fought to get me where I am today and I can’t NOT try. In the same token, it reminds me of all the other kids that are going through that same moment. They are the kid in the bathroom. I won’t give up on them”

o M

. .. s DON’T FEED THE BIRDS y a sIn your day to day life, on social media, and with any negativity that can compromise your headspace - you have the option to feed it or not. What you’ll find is when you don’t feed them, they will fly away and go somewhere else.


Trust yourself. Sometimes we come from a place of doubt but we have to realize that everyone starts from somewhere. Trust the process because everything you need is within you already. Make a plan and follow through. Is anything possible? YES. The real question is how hard are you willing to work and how badly do you want it?


My dad instilled a very strong belief in me at a very young age and that was to always believe in myself. It’s all I know, even through failure. The women in my life have taught me empathy, compassion, and love. I feel that this is the key to true happiness and success because you have to have a softer side to you to really enjoy the fruits of life and understand how much the people around you love you, or to even let love in at all. Those two strengths have allowed me to really open up through my music and tell the stories of what I’ve gone through.


Stop overthinking. Just do it. When you think too much it becomes overwhelming and you WILL FREEZE. Focus on what’s in front of you. Are you ready? NOBODY EVER IS. Will you fail? MAYBE. But DO NOT hold yourself back from opportunities because you don’t have all of the answers. If you do this, you will be stuck in a cycle of “what if”. Nobody belongs there. It’s scary to fail but you have to gain experience by just doing it.


“You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with”. Always have a mentor that knows more and never stop learning and asking questions. If you just ask questions, you will get answers to things people didn’t even know you wanted to learn.


One day your number will be called and it will likely come without warning. You won’t be able to say sorry to the people you wish you reconnected with, you won’t be able to go back and tell that person you love them and you won’t be able to pursue that dream of yours. You have to do it now. When you do that, life becomes more about what you want to do instead of what you have to do. All we have is this moment.


Be okay with who you are and don’t give up. One day you’ll share your stories through music. You’re audience will be the people who need your lesson.


ave you ever given yourself a pep talk before a big event in your life? Maybe you woke up and told yourself you were going to have a stellar day (Sheesh..."Stellar?" a 90's kid must have wrote this. )  Or maybe you've done something that was completely out of your comfort zone because you spoke confidence and success into existence prior to achieving that goal? That is a level of affirmation. The THE POWER OF goal of creating your affirmations is to reprogram your mindset for positive change based off of a AFFIRMATIONS perceived truth. Maybe it’s overcoming a bad habit, raising your confidence level, or improving an area of your life. Regardless of what you are affirming, always remember these key things: 1. Always begin your affirmations with "I am...." statements. 2. Your affirmations should combat your negative thoughts about yourself, (all of which we know deep down are a lie). For example, if you feel unworthy, you'll want to speak life back into yourself by saying things like: "I am cherished and deserving of all great things that are presented to me". 3. Your affirmations should be recited first thing in the morning, last thing at night and ideally while you are in a peak mindset or able to look yourself in a mirror.


Breathe in and know that every quality you seek is already inside of you. Lean into your faith and unlock this positive mindfulness through this POWERFUL practice. Ya know, Ed Mylett once posted something on instagram that really just catches me in "awe" from time to time. He said, " What a powerful thought it is to know that some of the greatest days of our lives haven't even happened yet". I felt that statement and I believe it whole heartedly in all areas of life INCLUDING personal development. The best version of ourselves is yet to come! But it starts with an honest assessment of yourself. Own your reality and TAKE ACTION, start you affirmations TODAY!

TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1


JAN 2020 | Page 28





Founder of The Women's Empowerment Expo 1700+ SEVENTEEN HUNDRED WOMEN IMPACTED OUR COMMUNITY "The WEE events have helped a total of 1,700 women which included: a marketplace to support 250 female owned business, workshops providing tools for personal and business development and resources to support women overcoming adversity."

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JAN 2020 | Page 31


If you’ve ever met or even read about Christina, it’s not hard to see that this woman has A HUGE heart. When I think about Christina- I think about empathy, I think about contribution to others, and I think about servant leadership. In the few years that I have grown to know Christina, I have been able to see the way she turns her life experiences into positive resources to empower anyone who may be going through a similar circumstance. What I appreciate most about her is that she has such a burning desire to make changes around the world that if she doesn’t have the wisdom to help in any particular area, she will find someone that does to ensure that everyone gets the assistance they need, whatever it may be. Christina started the Women’s Empowerment Expo based off a need that she saw the networking space was lacking. Christina knew that she wanted to learn more about the world of business and helping others but was unsure how so she began to network. She described a time that she went to her very first networking event and felt so out of place. It was in that moment that she realized she wanted to create a space where women can come together to network in a safe, welcoming, and EMPOWERING PLACE. “People are coming to you for help because they don’t know where to go”. I could hear the passion in her voice as she began to speak about her upcoming project that was inspired by her own battle with cancer. She recalled a time where she was feeling insecure about the way that she looked when she began her chemo treatments and didn’t want to go out in fear that she would get judged for not having the hair that she was used to. This project, NO ONE FIGHTS ALONE was created by a number of businesses in collaboration with The WEE to help women heal from theirs battle with cancer and/or domestic violence. TKC Mag | ISSUE No. 1

We will help 120 women this year. I’ve done the numbers, I’ve made a plan, I know exactly what I need to do every week and month in order to make sure these women get helped


Tips when starting a movement

1. Always do the right thing,

even when nobody is


2. Connect with others to


3. Provide resources to

support the cause




By Edgar Euan

0 2 20

Pull up a chair, grab yourself a drink from the fridge, we need to have a conversation and meet me on the bridge. The bridge is an exchange of ideas, it’s a place of interconnected humanity. A bridge is a span that allows two fixed points that never had the opportunity to meet due to obstacles or impediments the ability connect. My goal of sharing my story, is to be completely transparent with you, the reader. My goal is to inspire you to reconsider the limitless potential that lives in you. I’m Edgar and in the next couple of weeks, I’m going to invite you on my workout journey and show you the everyday battles and struggles of being “healthy.” I was inspired to do this 12 week challenge with my trainer after a viewing a story thread on Instagram. One of my friends that loves working out and being active, was shouting out people that have inspired him through his workout journey. In the beginning, I was able to see why these guys have inspired him. They were all fit and had the “ideal” male body. At the end of the thread, rather than being inspired, I found myself being upset and bothered. I had to check in with myself and ask myself, “Why do I feel so shitty right now? Why don’t I feel good about my body right now?” I remembered looking into my mirror and verbally telling myself, “Welp, is this as good as it’s going to get?” A lot of the pictures or posts that I see, whether it’s a body transformation or doing a gym selfie, is that we’re all training to attain this perfect body. This ideal image that we want people to see us by. So why do we workout? Is it to be healthy? But does working out and being ripped promote health? Is it a societal construct that’s routed in vanity? Like a good millennial, if I have any question I go to the Internet. *Hey Siri, open up Instagram* I took to Instagram and my followers the hard-hitting questions on working out ad here are the results: 68% actively workout 78% workout independently without a trainer 59% find people that workout regularly more attractive 61% said they feel pressured to have the “perfect body” JAN 2020 | Page 35

60% will be happier once they have the “perfect body”

Rule your mind or it will rule you T

I love podcasts and I happened to listen to a great Ted Talk on mindset given my a psych student at Harvard. Alia is a type A personality and had been a division one athlete for all of her life. She had learned about the placebo effect in class. She went on to explain how your mindset matters and it affects every aspect of your life. The placebo effect is a powerful, robust, and consistent demonstration of the ability of our mindset. Our mindset, is like literally, our setting of our mind to perceive our daily lives. She was working closely with professor Ellen Langer. Professor Langer laughed at her when she found out that Alia was a division one athlete and said. “ you know that exercise is just a placebo effect right?” Can the placebo affect exist outside of the world of medicine? She asked herself, “ Am I getting fitter because of my constant training or am I doing it because I believe that I would?” I asked myself the same thing. I’ve workout in the past but I never truly believed in me to change my body simply because I didn’t want to change my body, I was doing it to be healthy. Alia, did a study with a with 84 hotel maids. With their every day tasks at their jobs, these hotel maids have the ability to lose weight. The women were split into two groups. One group was given a presentation on how their daily tasks would help them lose weight without going to the gym. Their work was equivalent to them doing 30 minutes of cardio. They didn’t have to change their diets or go to the gym. Four weeks later, the maids told they were expected to lose weight, did. They dropped a significant amount. Can I become more mentally tough by working out? If I tell myself that working out is going to increase my confidence, will it?

I’ve been single for the past eight years. I’ve had my share of dates and dating apps, but really no luck with any of them. I was introduced to this really fantastic guy through a mutual friend and we hit it off right of the bat. We met a few times, shared a few laughs and I started to develop this crush. I welcomed the butterflies in my stomach. “Yasss butterflies, you fly and sore through the sky.” Just as quickly my crush developed, I saw it wash away, like the wave that teases your feet and pulls back and comes and goes as it pleases. He started to ghost me, he stood be up until he finally reached out and said, “sorry, I met someone.” All that hard work on mindset and healing went out the window. All my old insecurities, all the doubts, all the times that I was told I wasn’t good enough started to surface. You see, my love life and be summed up like that scene in Never Been Kissed, when Josie is waiting for prom date and when her date finally arrives she gets egged. My love life is that scene playing on repeat. I’ve been egged far too many times. My goal with this 12 week program is to change my mindset and be mentally tough. I want to have the same confidence I once had when I was younger. I’ve never had any body issues; I’ve been perfectly content, but I have to admit that with the double taps on social media and the constant reminder of being fit, I feel like I’m also constantly being screamed at that I’m not good enough. If you’re able to relate to this, then stay tuned because, “We’re not Josie Grossy anymore!”


o engage more with my audience, I asked them, “Why? Why do you workout?” I did get a lot of vain answers, “ To be skinny,” “ To have the perfect butt,” “ to be muscular” and of course “ to be healthy” “ to feel comfortable in my own skin.” One answer stood out to me and was by far my favorite answer out of all them but t was quite unique. “ I work out for my physical and mental health.” Mental health? I had to reached out and ask the affects that working out has in the mind. What I found out, that I shared a lot of similarities with my follower. We’ve both experienced some trauma and have been battling depression. After countless hours of crying to my therapist and my life coach, various medications, and hours of mindset work, I’ve been able to overcome a lot of that trauma. His response motivated me to get on this journey.

JAN 2020 | Page 36


JAN 2020 | Page 39

Do You

ever meet those couples that just exude authenticity? It's rare, but they do exist and The Abrea's are definitely one of them. Marc and Shelby got engaged in September of 2019 on Catalina Island. M: "I knew I wanted to propose at the same place we fell in love". SIDE NOTE: the exact location they got engaged was the exact location Shelby said "this would be a nice place to get married" on their first trip together.... I meaaaannnn, does Shelby know what she wants or what? That's why we love this woman! *Writer stops chiming in here. LOL. The very next day, they found out they were expecting! Shelby took 5 pregnancy tests (all of which were positive) and placed them in a heart shaped box. She gifted them to Marc. "Did YOU pee on these?", Marc asked. Why yes Marc, yes she did.

FUN FACT: Shelby LOVES garlic

Fast forward 3 months, the couple got married and 4 months after that, Dominic and Grayson were born. You can imagine they have been nonstop ever since. (PS... how cute are the boys' photos? #CUTESTTWINSAWARD amirite?!) During this conversation, I got to witness the couple express their love for one another in their own way for the first time while the other partner sat back and seemed to fall in love all over again while listening. Marc: "It was just a different type of conversation than I've ever had with someone. We actually wanted to learn about what motivated each other and talk about our life goals. No small talk, no surface chit chat, it was a deep and real conversation�.

s a e r b A hT e


Marc is a fire academy grad

FUN FACT: Grayson was born first, Dominic was born 2nd



I asked: "Is there such a thing?" M&S: "It's something that we are definitely working on. We don't really know if there is a true definition of balance but what we have learned is that in the midst of parenting, building a business together, and all At one point in their relationship - Marc the other things that come our way, it's especially important and Shelby were on two very different to always remember WHY we fell in love in the first place". spiritual paths. Shelby shared a time when The Abrea's prioritize each other in order to create a loving she was at church and went up to the alter and strong family for their two baby boys. They added, "We're drenched in tears because she knew that still getting to know each other as new parents to be honest the time had come to where she needed to but we keep an open mind, work as a team, and communicate give Marc a choice to join her in her walk to make sure we always make decisions based off what is best with God or let go of their relationship completely. Shelby explained the GUILT she for our family and our future EVEN IF it's not what is currently appealing to us. " felt as something that weigh so heavily on her. When Marc listened to Shelby open up her heart, he knew he had to make a choice between his old lifestyle and the woman of his dreams. Marc looked over at Once the boys were born, that is when the trials came on. Shelby..."THANK GOD I made that choice". Marc and Shelby went from living life for themselves to Listening to them share their love for one building a life for their family. Not to mention being another with God at the core of their marriage was truly inspiring. S: "We weren't newlyweds to each other and new parents to their TWIN baby boys. Like most couples, they faced the reality of being raised on the same spiritual level and that was two very different ways which equipped each of  them with okay. What was important was that we different perspectives on parenting. "This part was understood each others relationship with challenging", Shelby said. "It came down to us both agreeing God and did what we could to grow that we were going to figure out how we could take the best of together... we still do. GOD is 1st, always" both worlds and create a new way of parenting, together - as a team."


"The time we spent there was honest and true. The feelings that grew for you were undeniable. It was the place I knew that I first loved you. So with this gift, when the days get long and tiring- just say the words and I'll take you back. No questions asked, I will take you back to the place you stole my heart...back to Catalina



The waves were crashing behind us, I felt butterflies, the musician was playing in the background, and we spoke beyond the surface of who we are and who we wanted to be. That was when one of the first lightbulbs went off and I didn't know what to feel. It was beyond amazing. It was like being in a movie

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The Kind of Convo Magazine  

The Kind of Convo is a digital stage featuring the real people of today's world. This is a relatable space for people to have the kind of c...

The Kind of Convo Magazine  

The Kind of Convo is a digital stage featuring the real people of today's world. This is a relatable space for people to have the kind of c...