Yeshiva Darchei Torah expands Page 3 DOV YouTube sings for IDF Page 8 SPORTS: NCSY shoots hoops for youth programs Page 17 Mother’s Day Bookworm special Page 13
VOL 10, NO 17 ■ MAY 6, 2011 /2 IYAR, 5771
Omer counting quick reference: Counting is said on the evening before the given dates.
Thursday ....................May 5 Friday .........................May 6 Shabbat .....................May 7 Sunday .......................May 8 Monday ......................May 9 Tuesday .................... May 10 Wednesday ................May 11
16 Omer 17 Omer 18 Omer 19 Omer 20 Omer 21 Omer 22 Omer
Top news By The Jewish Star staff
Bin Laden been lauded
Soldiers in Exile Club Adam Kugelman, not alone By David F. Nesenoff As Israel celebrates it’s 63rd year, The Jewish Star sat down with Adam Kugelman, originally from Woodmere and a senior at Yeshiva University, who served as a Lone Soldier in the Israel Defense Forces. David F. Nesenoff: When did you serve as a Lone Soldier in the IDF and what is that exactly? Adam Kugelman: I served in the Israeli Army in 2007 and 2008. A Lone Soldier is a soldier who doesn’t have family or parents
After the killing of Osama bin Laden by U.S. forces who infiltrated the al-Qaeda terrorist’s Pakistani compound, his body was reported to have been buried at sea. The ceremony on a U.S. aircraft carrier provided the mass murderer with all the Islamic final rites including the washing of his body, the white covering and prayers. As many Arab and Muslim terrorist groups throughout the world praised Osama and mourned over his passing, New Yorkers recalled personal devastating stories of 9-11 when their loved ones were not afforded any ceremonial burial as many of the bodies have never been found.
“She’s a Jew!” CBS journalist, Lara Logan, revealed on 60 Minutes the real reason why the mob of Egyptians physically and sexually abused her. While she was covering the events in Cairo of Arabs celebrating their newfound independence from ousted Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak, someone yelled, “She’s a Jew!” It was at that moment that hundreds of Egyptian men violently attacked her ripping her clothes off and sexually assaulted her for an extended period of time. It was also reported that a rumor was spread that she and her crew were from Israel.
in Israel. He serves in the army and the IDF provides you with an apartment and some money to buy food to try to make it easier for you as a Lone Soldier. DFN: What motivated you to go and join the IDF from your American background? AK: I am originally from Woodmere. I went to High School at the Rambam Mesivta and then went to Yeshiva Har Etzion in Gush for two years. At the Rambam Mesivta there is a very Zionist curricullum, and in 11th grade I took a course in Zionism history of Israel. I guess I became very Zionistic from that. I definitely wasn’t thinking about going into the army until I got to yeshiva and became friends with all the Israelis there, and they all knew they were going into the army as Hesder students in two years. Once I became friends with them it seemed like a natural event. DFN: What did your parents think of your decision? AK: It took a lot of convincing. I started to speak with them about it at the beginning of my shana bet (second year) and at first the answer was “no” then the answer became “maybe after college” and it
went back and forth for a long time. Probably around Pesach time I convinced them to allow me to go in. DFN: Did they come and visit? AK: My father and my grandfather came in for my swearing-in ceremony at the kotel. DFN: How were you received by Israelis and other Israeli soldiers as being a Lone Soldier? AK: A lot of the Israeli soldiers thought we were crazy. Why would we come to Israel? Why would we want to serve in the army? Go back to America, life is good there. They certainly respected the fact that we came. They understood why we did. DFN: What was the most difficult part of being in the Israeli army? AK: The long time I spent there without being able to go home and without any vacation. DFN: Other then the normal dangers, of being in the army and of being in Israel and being a Jew in the world, were you there for any dangerous times? AK: I was there after the second Lebanon war and before Cast Lead. I was there in between two dangerous times. DFN: You have a brother who is there right now in the IDF? AK: Yes, my younger brother Jeremy. DFN: Were you an influence and how Continued on page 3 Photo courtesy of the Kugelman family
Adam Kugelman, president of the Soldiers in Exile Club, on patrol outside the city of Shechem.
Shabbat Candlelighting: 7:38 p.m. Shabbat ends 8:43 p.m. 72 minute zman 9:08 p.m. Torah Reading Parshat Emor Monday May 9 is Yom Ha’Atzmaut
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Precautionary Measures The description of the lighting of the Menorah appears three times in the Torah: in Parshat Tetzaveh (Shmot 27:20-21), in our parsha (24:2-3), and at the beginning of Parshat Bâ€™haalotkha (Bamidbar 8:2-4). The contexts are different â€“ the creation of the priestly clothing, one of the Torahâ€™s presentations of the holidays, and as a precedent to the purification process of the Levites, respectively. In Emor, Moshe is told that â€œAharon will set it up.â€? Two questions emerge: Why does God refer to the candles in the singular (â€œitâ€?), when seven candles need to be set up? Why are Aharonâ€™s sons left out in our parshaâ€™s instruction? Regarding the singular form of â€œsetting it upâ€? the Torah Temimah implies from a midrashic passage that it could come to pass that different kohanim could be responsible for different candles. The seven candles Rabbi Avi Billet could even be lit individually before being inserted into the menorah. As such, Aharonâ€™s family was responsible for the set-up of one of the seven candles. Incredibly, a seemingly inconsequential word presented in the singular form teaches us that for some religious rites, they need not be confined to a single person. There is much room in Jewish life for shared responsibility. Gabbais, baalei tefillah, Torah readers should be changed around on a regular basis. In this context, â€œspreading the wealthâ€? is a good thing. The more people feel this sense of responsibility, the more they will be involved, and be less likely to despise those who â€œhogâ€? all the honors. This seems to contradict our second question. Why are Aharonâ€™s sons included in Tetzaveh, but left out of setting up the candles in Parshat Emor? If weâ€™re sharing the wealth of serving G-d, Aharonâ€™s sons should certainly be included! The Meshekh Hochmah looks at the context of Emor and says that once we are talking about holidays, a special time for the kohen gadol (based on Yerushalmi Chagiga 2:4), it is appropriate to mention the kohen gadolâ€™s exclusive role with respect to setting up the menorah. However, that there is a practical reason why Aharonâ€™s sons were removed from the clearance list of setting up the menorah. Since the advent of Parshat Tetzaveh, two of Aharonâ€™s sons have entered an arena that was actually exclusive to their father, and they paid with their lives for their impertinence. The precautionary rules were put into place to prevent us from violating laws that should be inviolable.
The Jewish Star staff wishes
Mazal Tov to Rabbi Moshe and Rebbetzin Sori Teitelbaum, of Young Israel of Lawrence-Cedarhurst, on the birth of their grandson, born to their children Aliza and Heshel Teitelbaum.
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May 6, 2011 â€˘ 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
DFN: Did your Hebrew speaking improve being in the army? AK: Definitely, going into the army my Hebrew was terrible.
Continued from page 1 did your parents handle a second child going into the IDF? AK: I think he would have definitely considered it anyway, but I already convinced my parents to let me go and that made it easier for him.
DFN: When you make Aliyah, you’ll be serving again? AK: I want to join the reserve unit.
DFN: You are now studying at Yeshiva University and I understand that there are some other students at YU who also served in the IDF? AK: Yes. We started a club last year called Soldiers in Exile. We all knew that there were a few students, so we formed a club. My friend Michael Horowitz started it and this year I became president of the club and we get together and we bring in speakers about the IDF and about the security situation in Israel. DFN: Now you are a senior at YU. What are you studying and what do you hope to do with your degree? AK: I am an economics major and a math minor, and I plan on working in America next year and hopefully at the end of next year move to Israel and get an MBA. DFN: With all your collective experiences and education, you must have some opinion and understanding about Israel and the future with regard to what is ultimately going to bring about peace? AK: I think it would be great if we could have peace, but practically speaking, I don’t see it happening any time soon. I think that certain things that the Israelis and the Palestinians want are mutually exclusive. The Israelis insist on keeping all of Jerusalem and the Palestinians insist on having half of Jerusalem. I don’t think Israel has a responsibility to give up half the city just because Arabs want it. And practically speaking, you can’t
DFN: What do you think makes the Israeli army so smart, powerful and successful? AK: I think it’s a need basis. The top Israeli commanders know that if we don’t have a powerful, smart, defensible army, then the country will disappear. We need it.
Photo courtesy of the Kugelman family
Adam Kugelman, who served in the IDF, with his brother Jeremy who is now in Golani.
just split up a city like that. Jerusalem was never the capital of any Palestinian or Arab country. I think the Palestinians have to be a little more realistic about what they want from Israel. The right of return is not going to happen. We are not about to flood the State of Israel with thousands of Palestinians. DFN: Do you recommend others to join the Israeli army? AK: I definitely wouldn’t say that everyone should join, but if someone is interested I would encourage him to seriously consider it. DFN: This week we are celebrating Israel Independence Day. Is there some feeling you have that maybe you didn’t have before or maybe that you feel this time of year? AK: More for Yom Hazikaron than anything else. I feel more of a connection to Israel’s memorial day having served in the army
and having some experience with what the IDF has to deal with. I take the sacrifice that they make more seriously. Thank G-d, I don’t know anyone who was killed in combat but having served and having friends who served makes the whole thing more real. DFN: How is your brother doing, serving in the IDF right now? AK: He’s good. He’s stationed right outside of Gaza. And I think and hope he’s enjoying himself. DFN: When an American hears that someone is stationed outside of Gaza and enjoying himself… what does that mean? AK: There is a lot of comradery in the army, I was definitely very tight with my friends. You’re not sleeping and you’re not eating and you’re under a lot of stress. So you just want to enjoy it.
DFN: What about U.S. policies in regard to Israel? AK: I think it was a huge mistake on the part of the Obama administration to put a lot of pressure on Israel. Pressuring Netanyahu on the land freeze, Abbas could take the position that he doesn’t have to negotiate unless the building was frozen. Before that there was no such thing as not needing to negotiate until a building freeze. Now that Obama made that the official American policy, Abbas can just sit back and not negotiate whatsoever. The peace process is stalled because of that. DFN: How will you be celebrating Israel Independence Day? AK: I’ll be at YU. There’s a ceremony on the night between Yom Hazikaron and Yom HaAztmout, and during the day there’s a barbeque and a concert. DFN: On behalf of The Jewish Star, we extend our gratitude to you and all the members of the Exiled Soldiers Club for your service in the IDF. It has been an honor talking with you and we wish your brother safety along with all the other soldiers of Israel.
Far Rockaway yeshiva celebrates campus expansion
Building on Darchei Torah By Sergey Kadinsky A defining landmark of the Orthodox community in Far Rockaway celebrated its latest milestone, installing the Torah on May 1 in its new 186,000 square foot building complex, before a crowd of some 5,000 local residents, students, and alumni. “This community has been zoche to widen the kedusha of Torah.” said Agudath Israel leader Rabbi Yakov Perlow, who sat at a dais packed with leading Orthodox rabbinic figures. The 39-year-old yeshiva had its start by renting space in local synagogues. It was a time when the local Jewish community’s future was far less than certain. “I remember when people were moving out of Far Rockaway, but the yeshivas turned the community around,” said lifelong resident Baruch Kassover, as his son Dovid, a first grader at the yeshiva, flipped the pages of Darchai Torah’s coffee table commemorative book. The yeshiva secured its own building in 1991 when a local YM-YWHA was in debt and chose to divest itself of its Far Rockaway property. Through the support of philanthropist Yaakov Melohn, and the yeshiva now had its campus. “The roshei yeshiva encouraged people to stay and today Far Rockaway is a
sought-after place because of this yeshiva,” Kassover said. Rabbi Yaakov Bender arrived at the school in 1978 as the seventh grade rebbe, rising to become its rosh yeshiva. Under his guidance, the school expanded and adhered to a policy of accepting students of all backgrounds and circumstances. Described by alumni coordinator Rabbi Moshe Benoliel as a “full service” yeshiva, Darchai Torah spans the spectrum from nursery school through kollel, with a summer camp, and special education programs. While the student body counts approximately 1,600, parents said that the approach of Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Bender, who personally cares for each student. “The care and concern for each kid is a world of its own. No matter the size of the school, they care for each of them,” said Shuie Brick, who has two sons in Darchai Torah. “The rebbes play basketball with the kids. You have all types of peyot, it’s not one type of kid here,” said Cedarhurst resident Shulamit Gross, who has four sons at Darchai Torah, triplets in fourth grade and the oldest son in seventh grade. Lawrence resident Yitzchok Ganger counts his son Dovid as an alum and his grandchildren Dov and Binyomin Ostreicher
as current students. “When I moved here in 1978, Darchai was a very small school. It had only 100 kids but with Rabbi Bender, the yeshiva made this into a totally different neighborhood,” Ganger said. Inspired by their parents’ holocaust survival, Ganger and his wife Shoshana have given their support to a variety of local educational institutions. Their names grace the main lobby of the new $30 million building. “After all our parents endured and lost… the most important thing for them was that their children grow up frum and receive an excellent education,” Mrs. Ganger wrote in the yeshiva’s commemorative book. Careful space was given to the disabled, who study alongside regular students in many of the yeshiva’s programs. “We can’t sweep children with special needs under the carpet. Rav Yankel took ahavas chesed and created great bnei Torah who sit next to students with different capabilities,” Rabbi Perlow said. In a May 1991 column by Rabbi Bender in The Jewish Observer illustrates the school’s approach, in accepting an eight-year-old with cerebral palsy as a student. “While suffering slight learning disabilities, he tested with an IQ over 160, is sweet, well-behaved but no yeshiva will take him,” Rabbi Bender wrote.
Photo by Sergey Kadinsky
Rabbi Yaakov Bender delivers opening remarks at the yeshiva expansion. Ronald Lowinger, a leading supporter of the yeshiva spoke about how each of his sons graduated from Darchai Torah including his youngest, 29-year-old Chaim Shlomo, who is disabled. In gratitude to the school’s acceptance of his son, Lowinger bestowed the name Mesivta Chaim Shlomo on the high school building and Heichal Shlomo on its new building. Continuing on its momentum, Rabbi Bender expressed confidence that the mortgage will be paid; more homes and dormitories will be built for the students and alumni, while providing individual attention to each student. “The child wants Torah and he should shteig more and learn mishnayos and gemara,” said elementary school menahel Rabbi Shmuel Strickman. “Having ambitions and vision is why it’s here. Rabbi Bender is a man of vision.”
THE JEWISH STAR May 6, 2011 • 2 IYAR, 5771
Lone Soldiers of Woodmere: Adam and Jeremy
Communities remember Shoah in word and action By Sergey Kadinsky For most holocaust survivors, the memories of the war were not about fighting or combat, but of degradation, enslavement, and death all around. Their stories revolve on the theme of survival under the eyes and gun sights of Nazi officers. For their succeeding generation, the image of helpless Jews inspired their own efforts to prevent another holocaust. “We light candles, we reflect, and we never forget. I became an orphan at age 17, when the Angel of Death put his hands on my 15-year-old sister. My mother was shoved in the other direction,” said Forest Hills resident Eva Lux Braun. “Her last words to me were to stay together.” The so-called angel was Josef Mengele, the Nazi doctor who chose between those slated for slave labor and those bound for the gas chambers. And so she kept close to her sister Vera through their ordeal at Auschwitz. Growing up in suburban Chicago with stories of the holocaust, writer Caroline Glick was inspired to defend Israel and made aliyah after graduating from Columbia University in 1991. “I think that all Jews are survivors of the holocaust. The Shoah only ended when the allies won,” Glick said. The existence of Auschwitz was known to the allied powers through aerial images and reports from escapees, but requests to bomb the death were denied by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Glick argued that this was indifference at best and anti-Semitism at worst. “Why didn’t they bomb the railroad tracks? It was not in their interests. In most European nations, the people did not have a
Photo by Skyler Kessler
Congregation Beth Sholom of Lawrence observes Yom HaShoah with other communites. problem collaborating,” Glick said. As survivors emerged from the death camps, many looked to a future Jewish state, while others looked to the nascent United Nations organization to offer protection against future genocide attempts. “The survivors came with many different conclusions,” Glick said. “The concept of the UN, the convention against genocide, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the idea that the law will protect us and force the Roosevelts and Churchills of tomorrow to follow human rights.” As a self-described “one-issue voter,” Glick made the move to Israel, serving in the army and as an advisor during Benjamin Netanyahu’s first term as Prime Minister. Glick argued that international laws designed to
prevent terrorism have been instead used against Israel. “The lesson of the holocaust is that people are not going to help us and our responsibility is to defend ourselves. The eternal nature of the Jewish people rests on our shoulders,” Glick said. While some descendants attended lectures, others took action, including 56 students from Midreshet Shalhevet, a girls high school in North Woodmere, who stood outside the Jackson Heights home of convicted Nazi collaborator Jakiw Palij, 87, who was stripped of his citizenship in 2003, but has yet to be deported. “Since his status has not changed, we wanted the students to take action. He came here under false pretenses and we wanted to protest his actions during the war,” said principal Esther Eisenman.
Focusing on descendants of survivors, Congregation Beth Sholom in Lawrence organized its Yom HaShoah event alongside 22 local congregations, with a combination of video testimonies, survivors, and their children as speakers. Survivor Roman Kent spoke about his ordeal as a teenage inmate of Lodz Ghetto and Auschwitz. Prominent local attorney Benjamin Brafman spoke on the stories he heard from his survivor parents. Approximately 1,500 local residents attended the event, which demonstrates the involvement of today’s generation in remembering, said organizer Sharona Thall. “We try to take our responsibility as children and grandchildren seriously,” said Thall. “These speakers give a greater understanding, acceptance, and meaning to the holocaust.”
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May 6, 2011 • 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
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5 THE JEWISH STAR May 6, 2011 â€˘ 2 IYAR, 5771
We helped build a nation. Now weâ€™re helping shape its future. For 63 years, UJA-Federation has been an essential partner in the creation of the State of Israel. With federations nationally, weâ€™ve invested more than $11 billion to enable our people to return to our ancient homeland and create the miracle that is Israel today. This year alone, UJA-Federation is helping to provide: 18,000 Jews with the opportunity to build new lives in Israel â€” in addition to the more than 3 million we helped resettle since 1948. 350,000 impoverished and at-risk children with programs that offer poverty relief, counseling, support groups, and crisis intervention. 46,000 elderly Israelis, many Holocaust survivors, with the services they need to remain independent. 2,200 Ethiopian children in Rehovot with an educational head start. 300,000 Israelis with Jewish educational, cultural, and spiritual programs. 60,000 Israeli children with trauma counseling to cope with rocket attacks. $12 million in loans for low-income Israelis to start 260 small businesses. 10,000 young Jews with a trip through Taglit-Birthright Israel and other programs, helping instill in them a passion for Israel. Weâ€™re proud to be the largest funder of the Salute to Israel Parade, the Israel Action Network, and numerous efforts to mobilize the New York Jewish community to stand with the people of Israel as they resist violence and pursue peace. And weâ€™re proud to be part of a dream realized.
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May 6, 2011 • 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
Opinion Anybody awake out there?
ir traffic control, this is El Al flight 001, requesting a descent pattern, we are ready to land here in Washington.” There is silence. “Washington, this is El Al 001, are we cleared to land our Boeing 747-400?” Again there is no response DAVID’S HARP from the air traffic control tower. “This is the pilot in command, Captain Yishai, we are requesting permission to land? Hello? Shalom?” A feint sound can be heard from the cockpit speaker. The pilot responds, “Is that you Washington? I can barely hear you?” The sound becomes louder. “Ch…shhh…Ch… David F. Nesenoff shhh…Ch…shhh.” Captain Yishai asks, “Washington, we can hear you now. Are you trying to say something with the letter chet?” The pilot listens carefully. Again, there is snoring heard.
“Ch…shhh…Ch…shhh.” Pilot Yishai explains. “We have come a long way. This was not just an 11-hour journey. We have travelled for a very long time all the way from the land of the Fogels, Shalit, Begin, Golda and Dayan. We have flown from Uganda with rescued hostages and from Munich with murdered athletes. We’ve air lifted our Russian and Ethiopian brothers and sisters. We had stopovers in Haiti and in Japan to heal and rescue those in need. “Air traffic control? Anyone? Anyone in the entire world? Anybody awake out there? My passengers and crew have indeed come a long way. We have journeyed from Kiryat Shmona and Maalot, and the Sinai and Yamit, and Yom Kippur and Sderot and Itamar. We were in Dizengoff’s bomb shelter with Ben Gurion. We waited for the Moshiach in Auschwitz and we waded in the marshes of the 1800s in our homeland to rid the swamps of malaria and mire. We witnessed the immigration of Arabs into our once uninhabitable no man’s land, which we transformed into an oasis. We were massacred in Hebron in 1929, and the British gave us 25% of our own land and then the U.N. gave us 50% of our 25%.
It is our home where we once sacrificed with holiness and lit our candelabra with oil; our home where we were later slaughtered with desecration and where we were sacrificed for oil. “We lived through the eras of the Roman comedy and roamed through our own comedy of errors. We have survived the cartels and the Carters and outlasted the bombers and the Osamas and we will endure the J Streets and the Obamas. We have invented and healed while they were under-handing and beheading. We have negotiated and shaken the hands of fists and knives while our lands have been sliced and carved. Into the history of all people we are written with the right and then wronged, while our enemies are ridden with re-writes and wrongs. We are just moral, and more than just, defensively good and good friends with fences. We are decently supportive and we support the decent. We are weary and tired and we are tired from our wary. “We have come along way. Our home is where our forefathers forsook for sons; and where our mothers and brothers are buried. Our home is where we pray over their graves
and where we wail at the remnants of Solomon’s Temple in his father’s city, while being smothered by the sights and sounds of minarets and mosques vandalizing the holiest of holies. To the wall, we have scrawled and crawled into with our messages answered by G-d. But to the world we have called out without a callback. We know the world is sleeping. We are so surprised although we should not be. We are the Jewish people. We are the children of Israel. We have travelled and journeyed; we have walked and now we fly. We move in a world that closes its eyes and sighs and snores and sneers. “Does anyone hear me? Anybody awake out there? “Koomi, ori” “Arise! Awake and shine! For your light is come, and the glory of Hashem is risen upon you.” So said Isaiah in our land in the 8th Century BCE. “Arise! Awake and shine!” He said it in the land that has been the homeland of the Jewish people for thousands upon thousands of years.” Happy Birthday State of Israel. Shine your light, make a wish and see if the world even notices from its deep slumber. They are fated to always sleep while we are destined to forever dream.
My proof that the Temple Mount is Jewish Yankie & Luzer
very day there are more stories in the media and Arab protests about Israel trying to “Judaicise” the area around what they call the Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem. I have even read with curiosity how European POLITICO Foreign Ministers and press TO GO reporters with Christian backgrounds describe the site as “what the Jewish people SAY was the location of the Holy Temples.” When those folks go to church on Sunday do they argue with their priests and ministers to change the gospels because the man they believe was the son of G-d went to that Temple Mount three times a year. But I am not here to argue history or tradition, no jokes Jeff Dunetz about the Muslims. No discussion of how Moshe Dayan was the villain of the mount etc. I don’t have to argue about ownership of Mount
Moriah because I have been there. All my life there has been something pulling me toward the Temple Mount. I never understood that urge until my first trip to Israel. When we drove through the hills and I got my first look at Jerusalem for the first time in my life I felt comfortable in my surroundings. Jerusalem felt like home, despite the fact that I had never been there in my life, I knew where to go and how to get around without looking at a map. There were times, without consulting a map I would tell my family of a shortcut to reach our destination, and my wife who had been there before would tell me I was crazy (true but irrelevant.) But I was always correct. Everywhere we went in Jerusalem I knew where we were and its relation to the Temple Mount. To be honest the lure of the Temple site was stronger in Israel than ever before. Now at this point, anyone Jewish reading this who has never been to Israel is probably calling for the guy with the straight-jacket to take me away. But ask someone who has been there, someone who believes in HaShem and see if he feels any different.
Continued on page 7
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Trump wants the death certificate.
The Kotel proof is personal said the Shechayanu followed by Mincha. It wasnâ€™t just the physical act praying at the Kotel; those words of Hebrew seemed to have meaning like never before. I was connecting with the G-d of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yakov. That â€œurgeâ€? I had felt all my life, was more like an invitation from my Maker, â€œCome visit so we can talk. â€œAnd while G-d is everywhere, for some reason only a rabbi can explain, I could feel his presence much stronger at the Temple Mount (my son says thatâ€™s because at the Kotel itâ€™s only a local call). Thatâ€™s it, thatâ€™s my proof, nothing scientific, nothing that will work in a court of law, or in an international dispute. If you look for it, the connection to G-d is strongest at the Kotel. There is not another place in the entire world that has even come close. If ANYONE doubts me, allow me to suggest that you pack up your davening tools and take a trip to Israel. When you arrive, go to the Kotel put on your tallit and tefilin and feel that connection for yourself. I guarantee it will change you forever. Jeff Dunetz is the Editor/Publisher of the political blog â€œThe Lidâ€? (www.jeffdunetz.com). Jeff contributes to some of the largest political sites on the internet including American Thinker, Big Government, Big Journalism, NewsReal and has been a guest on national radio shows including G. Gordon Liddy, Tammy Bruce and Glenn Beck. Jeff lives in Long Island.
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Continued from page 6 On our second day in Jerusalem, we were finally going to the Kotel and the Temple Mount. The whole family got up early; I packed up my tallit and tefilin and took off with our guide into the Old City. Yossi, our wonderful guide, knew how important going to the Kotel was for me, yet rather than go directly to it he teased me with ...Itâ€™s right over that wall, we will see this movie first, letâ€™s go to the Burnt House etc. I was getting very frustrated, but he was masterfully building up my expectations. Finally we walked down the wooden stairway and walked through the gate of the Kotel Plaza, I was overwhelmed by emotions that I had never felt before. All my life I felt this longing to go to the Kotel and I finally knew why. You see, everywhere else you go in Israel, you feel the presence of all that has gone on before you, David Hamelech, Avraham, the tribes, the Two Kingdoms and on and on. That is about culture and history. When you visit the Kotel it is about G-d. It is about being able to feel the lingering presence of the Shekhinah that has been gone for two thousand years. Thatâ€™s when I realized that the dispute over the Temple Mount was all political, all about delegitimizing the Jewish presence in Jerusalem. Because I was there! With my then 10-year-old son holding my bag, I celebrated my lifelong dream, I wrapped the tefilin around my arm, placed it on my head wrapped my tallit around us and
THE JEWISH STAR May 6, 2011 â€˘ 2 IYAR, 5771
Unwrap Dovâ€™s â€œGiftâ€? on YouTube
Eyes wet with tears, hearts frozen with shock and grief, you have witnessed the shocking, unthinkable events in Itamar. Your heart and soul cry out for action - but what can you do?
You can help prevent it from happening again.
One Israel Fund is working with the mayor and security chief of Itamar to improve its security equipment and preparedness in the event of a future attack. Support One Israel Fundâ€™s Operation: No More Jewish Victims campaign. Operation: No More Jewish Victims was established to provide vitally needed security equipment to communities like Itamar. This equipment includes perimeter surveillance camera systems, communication equipment, high-powered flood lighting, armored patrol vehicles and more. Each item provided has proven to be a true lifesaver. Infiltrations have been thwarted, terrorists have been caught and lives have been saved due to this equipment.
Help prevent the next attack. Become a partner. Your gift, in whatever amount, will truly save lives!
YES! I want to help prevent future tragedies in Itamar and similar communities by supporting One Israel Fundâ€™s Operation: No More Jewish Victims campaign. Enclosed please find my tax-deductible gift to One Israel Fund of: Check is enclosed. $ _____________ Please charge my gift, in the amount indicated above to
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As his YouTube video hits close to 25,000 views in just one month, Dov Hoschander supports the Israel Defense Forces with his song and inspires all who listen. Dov, who grew up in West Hempstead and now resides in Manhattan, has been singing his whole life but not until he prayed Hu Yivarech on the Internet, his original song for the IDF, did he become a worldwide sensation. â€œI got the idea when I asked my aunt in Israel about how does an Israeli mother send her son off to the army, and she answered, Israeli mothers donâ€™t sleep.â€? Dov was inspired. He wrote Hu Yivarech and then with the help of Aviv Vana, an Israeli filmmaker, the music video was created. Dovâ€™s musical background stemmed from HANC and Queens Collegeâ€™s acapella group
Tizmoret. â€œMy music is different, I like to call it Jewish pop with an up beat.â€? Dov explains about the fresh-faced soldiers in his video. â€œWe donâ€™t always envision how young they are. They are very young and theyâ€™re not in the mall; theyâ€™re in the army.â€? As Dov explores the next step in his newfound attention and success, his YouTube hits continue to climb and go viral. His website www.dovmusic.com which contains the video also offers a glimpse into the making of the video in the Old City of Jerusalem. â€œEveryone always wants to know how we got that microphone to just be suspended in thin air; I was communicating with the heavens.â€? The video can also be seen directly on YouTube by typing â€œDov IDFâ€? or â€œDov Hu Yivarechâ€?. Hu Yivarech is part of Dovâ€™s album, DOV The Gift.
By David F. Nesenoff
May 6, 2011 â€˘ 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
When the unthinkable happensâ€Ś
THE JEWISH STAR May 6, 2011 â€¢ 2 IYAR, 5771
Sports NSCY scores with success for Orthodox youth programs By Sergey Kadinsky
Photo by Eric Petruski
NCSY day long tournament attracted Orthodox players from across the community.
With spring weather settling in for good, over a thousand basketball enthusiasts gathered at Lawrence High School on May 1. The event brought competitors from a variety of age groups and local schools, in total playing more than 30 games throughout the day. “This year the competition was fierce and the turnout from the community was greater than ever before,” said event organizer Elliot Steinmetz. Players arrived from as far away as New Jersey and Suffolk County to face off for the prize and contribute to NCSY’s youth programs. Proceeds from the tournament serve to benefit programs of the New York chapter of NCSY, the Orthodox Union’s youth services division. Examples of such programs include scholarships for students to study their posthigh school year in Israel. “This summer, we are sending 65 kids from unaffiliated homes to study in Israel and for many it’s their first Shabbat experience and their first time in Israel,” said New York NCSY Director Rabbi Aryeh Lightstone. The day-long tournament pitted 225 players against each other, including teams from high schools, alumni teams, and other fiveperson combinations. “It is our fifth year and it’s probably the most competitive tournament in the Orthodox world today,” Rabbi Lightstone said. As a result, some players
Photo by Eric Petruski
Basketball players participate in the largest turn out of the past five years. found themselves on the waiting list, while others made the final round by lottery more than merit. The final championship game pitted the Lobos, a Five Towns team, against Team Excellent Bus Service, which comprised of Ramaz High School alumni from Manhattan and New Jersey. “The finals had a more yeshivish team against a Ramaz team and they’ve never played each other before,” Rabbi Lightstone said. “It was a close game Continued on page 11
Friends of Israel Disabled Veterans helps those who helped Israel. Please help us honor their sacrifice.
May 6, 2011 • 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
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11 THE JEWISH STAR May 6, 2011 â€˘ 2 IYAR, 5771
Happy Motherâ€™s Day
Courtesy of Israel Guide Dog Center for the Blind
Blind Israeli bikers assisted by guide dogs The streets of New York are a challenge for bicyclists, with potholes, traffic, and pedestrians. But on May 1, they ruled the roads on the TD Bank Five Boro Bike Tour. For Aviva Stern, an Israeli mother of three, the 42mile trip was not about the sights, but about competing the route. Stern gradually began losing her sight at age eight, but with a guide dog at her side, she navigated the Israeli landscape by bike. â€œI was determined to control the blindness and not let blindness control me,â€? Stern said. Together with retired Israeli Brigadier General Moti Regev, Stern founded the CanVelo Bike Club, a subsidiary of the Israel Guide Dog Center for the Blind, where visually impaired Israelis can exercise together. Sternâ€™s racing partner was Pele, a golden retriever trained to warn her about parked cars, red lights, and checkpoints. â€œHaving
such a professional school here in Israel makes all the difference,â€? Stern said. â€œBefore the Center opened, a blind person had to speak English and travel abroad for a professionally trained guide dog.â€? Together with their dogs, members of CanVelo regularly hold bike tours throughout Israel, showing their ability to overcome challenges in a public setting. â€œOur goal is to raise awareness about the obstacles visually impaired Israelis face in Israel and show that the human spirit can overcome many challenges,â€? Regev said. The group currently has approximately 60 members, but with enough funds, Regev hopes to raise awareness of CanVelo in Israeli society. With more than 27,000 blind Israelis, the county has one of the highest per capita rates of blindness in the world. â€œThere are generous people out there,â€? Regev said. â€œThey will make our dream come true.â€?
NCSY basketball win-win Continued from page 10 and the local team won.â€? The Lobos comprised of Dani Rosenthal, Asher Jungreiss, Shuei Feldberg, Chaim Abramson, Zanvy Grauman, Effy Lowy, and Yissacher Feldberg. Towards the late afternoon, the event included a barbecue and a magic show with balloons, face painting, and a raffle for a trip to Israel. â€œIt was a day of games from eight in the morning until six at night,â€? said Rabbi Lightstone.
Photo courtesy of NCSY
Jeremy Frenkel, David Jesselson, Jared Solomon, and Kenny SIcklick with first place trophies in hand.
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By Sergey Kadinsky
Photo of the Week
&DPS&KHPLVWU\ Irena’s Vow, the performance by the HAFTR Players, is based on a true story about a Polish Catholic woman who saved the lives of 12 Jews during the Holocaust. Seen here are actors Josh Abramowitz with Jacqui Geller playing younger Irena.
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May 6, 2011 • 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
â€œIn Her Voiceâ€? and â€œA Jewish Womanâ€™s Prayer Bookâ€? A Mothersâ€™ Day Annual Literary Tribute
ith the annual tribute to our nationâ€™s mothers coming up this weekend I would like to present to you a couple of last minute suggestions that might serve as gifts to those most valiant ladies . â€œIn Her Voiceâ€? by Enya Tamar Keshet and published by Maggid Books, is a rich collection of prayers, mostly in Hebrew, with some in Yiddish and Ladino, all cast into English translation, each thematically linked to the cares, concerns, fears and hopes of Jewish women. Spanning the whole gamut and reach of the totality of lifeâ€™s experiences, these prayers deal with the place of women in the Jewish tradition, its Bible, liturgy, poetry Alan Jay Gerber and prose reflecting life cycle events from marriage, and childbearing or lack thereof to such home-centered rituals as candle lighting, the blessing of children and other family members, each prayer reflecting a deep as well as intense sensitivity that is framed throughout with an artwork that is both bold in its grandeur and appropriate to both theme and theology. Such sensitive issues as agunot, shid-
duchim, childlessness, as well as such rituals as separating challah, Torah study, and a unique prayer of the Chevra Kadisha are each treated with a dignity of place and purpose that serve to further enhance the importance that each, in its own way, has as a priority for our deep concern, or observance. Based upon what is called The Lisbon School, that has to be seen to be appreciated, the art style used in this book is flexible in style from prayer to prayer, thus giving each liturgical work an artistic personality unique to its own individual purpose and meaning. The calligraphy that is utilized throughout is practical enough in both size and clarity to be used as a prayer text for both worship and study. The English translations throughout as well as the running commentaries are user friendly that can serve as an excellent educational tool for both home, school, and shul libraries. Prayer is the sole focus in Aliza Lavieâ€™s now classic , â€œA Jewish Womanâ€™s Prayer Book,â€? published by Spiegel and Grau, wherein she gathers together in this 400-page volume
what seems to be a comprehensive mass collection of prayers dealing with the womanâ€™s life cycle, both classical and innovative, Ashkenaz and Sephardi, each speaking to, for, and at the needs of Jewish women. Two prayers in particular caught my attention. Inasmuch as I attend shul that is still in the proa sh cess of completing its interior ces construction, the following con Mi Shebeirach from the Italian nusach seems so appropriate to our experience. pr The women of that community were responsible for m decorating the synagogue. de Thus, it was due to this inTh volvement that this prayer vo was composed and uttered. w â€œHe Who blessed Saraah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah --- may He bless evL eery daughter of Israel who fashions a coat or covering fa with which to adorn the w Torah, or who p prepares a candle in honor Torah of the Torah. May the Holy One, blessed be He, pay her reward and grant her the good that she deserves, and let us say: Amen.â€? Please keep in mind that the Roman nusach appears to be the first nusach composed outside of Israel and Babylon, its sources dating back in time before the com-
position of the Talmud itself. The second prayer was composed by Toby Trackeltaub from the city of Munkacs, in 1945, as part of a special Haggadah while imprisoned in Auschwitz. Before she died during the death march that January she passed on this Haggadah to a friend of hers , Aliza Klein who survived and kept this sacred book safe until many years later when she passed it on to the Chedva Eibeschitz Institute of Holocaust Studies in Haifa. According to Lavie, â€œTobyâ€™s Haggadah, written on scraps of toilet paper, is organized into the form of a tiny book.â€? This is one of her prayers, composed by her as were all in this special work: â€œWe wish to celebrate but we are unable to, we desire to believe and that is the only thing that we have that they are unable to take from us; in it is memory, that alone can give us hope for a better and more beautiful future that we wish to think about and not to lower our heads. â€œAnd if G-d redeemed our forefathers from Egypt, He will also save us from our bitter enslavement, and restore us to the land of our forefathers.â€? Aliza Lavie notes the following: â€?Tobyâ€™s vision of freedom and declaration of faith ring out in defiance of the wretchedness of her imprisonment and seeming abandonment by G-d.â€?
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THE JEWISH STAR May 6, 2011 â€˘ 2 IYAR, 5771
The Kosher Bookworm
Scholar in residence at Oceanside
YOUNG ISRAEL OF OCEANSIDE, located at 50 Waukena Avenue in Oceanside, is hosting Rabbi Herschel Schachter as its scholar-in-residence. Rabbi Schachter will discuss innovations in Jewish practice, in relation to the role of women, forbidden foods, and other contemporary issues. Before minchah, the topic will be the religious view of the state of Israel, and for seudat shlishit, Rabbi Schachter will discuss the controversy in Israel regarding conversion for Russian olim. For more information, contact 516-764-1099
Kulanu Annual Fair
Submit your shul or organizationâ€™s events or shiurim to firstname.lastname@example.org. Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication.
Understanding Israel through humor
ELMONT JEWISH CENTER, located at 500 Elmont Road in Elmont, welcomes Prof. Micah Kaplan, who will be speaking on the topic â€œUnderstanding the ever Evolving Israeli society through humor.â€? The free event begins at 8 p.m. For more information, contact 516-488-1616
Young Israel of Woodmere Dinner
YOUNG ISRAEL OF WOODMERE will be holding its 51st Annual Shul Dinner at The Sands, located at 1395 Beech Street in Atlantic Beach. The event will honor couples Rabbi Dr. Aaron & Margie Glatt, Alan & Gloria Stern, David & Aviva Weber, and Moishe & Erica Dachs. The dinner will introduce this yearâ€™s Shul Phone Book, a detailed guide to local businesses and Jewish organizations. For more information, visit www.yiwoodmere.org/ dinner/dinner.html
Religious Zionist at war
YOUNG ISRAEL OF GREAT NECK, located at 236 Middle Neck Road in Great Neck, is marking Yom Haatzmaut with a lecture by Rabbi Shmuel Ismach on what is required of the Jewish soldier in both halacha (practice) and hashkafa (perspective). The event begins at 9:30 a.m. and includes breakfast. The cost is $5. For more information, call 516-829-6040
Raising awareness of Earth Day, HANC elementary school students wrote messages and drew pictures on paper grocery bags which were used by the I&D kosher supermarket in West Hempstead. â€œItâ€™s important to get our students thinking about eco-friendly ideas now so that they can carry them over into adulthood,â€? said science teacher Al Ruggiano.
Happiness in relationships
CHAZAQ welcomes Rabbi Label Lam to Young Israel of Briarwood, located at 84-75 Daniels Street in Briarwood. Rabbi Lamâ€™s lecture topic will be â€œHappiness: Catch me if you can! Finding True Happiness during Dating, Marriage and beyond.â€? The free event begins at 8 p.m. For more information, call 917-617-3636 or email info@ chazaq.org.
Womenâ€™s lecture on observance
HOLY WOMAN FOUNDATION is hosting author Sara Yoheved Rigler at the Golombeck residence, located at 12 Sealy Drive. The topic is Frum Non-believers: The Problem and the Cure. This women-only lecture begins at 8 p.m. For more information, contact 516-647-3396.
Friendship Circle: Momâ€™s night out
CHABAD OF FIVE TOWNS is holding an evening for mothers of children with special needs for socializing and networking. The event will be held at the home of Debbie Rosenfeld, located at 549 Green Place in Woodmere. Nutritionist Miriam Srulovich will speak on the topic of â€œsnack335 Central Avenue, 2nd Floor Lawrence, NY 11559 P:516.791.6100 F: 516.374.7059
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ing healthy.â€? The event begins at 8 p.m. with a suggested donation of $5. For more information, contact 516-295-2478 ext. 13 or batsheva@ chabad5towns.com.one
Project Extreme annual breakfast
PROJECT EXTREME, the organization that develops programs for at-risk teenagers and their families is hosting Rabbi Abraham Twerski, who will speak about his career in addiction treatment in the Jewish community. Proceeds from the breakfast will go towards the Myriam Ghermezian Academy, a residential high school for girls who are struggling emotionally, behaviorally, or academically. The event will take place at the home of Michael and Michelle Edery, located at 22 Meadow Lane in Lawrence. The event begins at 9:30 a.m. For more information, contact Rabbi Scott Steinman at 347-757-0463 or email@example.com.
Lag Bâ€™Omer Celebration
CHABAD OF FIVE TOWNS is holding a Lag Bâ€™Omer celebration at Cedarhurst Park in Cedarhurst. The event will include archery, bonfire, racing, a trampoline show, and a bubble show. The event will run from 5:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. For more information, visit www.chabad5towns.com or call 516-295-2478.
Experimental Jewish education program
YESHIVA UNIVERSITY, with support from the Jim Joseph Foundation, is launching the Certificate Program in Experiential Jewish Education, open to emerging and practicing Jewish educators. The program runs for one year during academic breaks, beginning in June 2011. Four seminars coupled with mentorship, networking, and career placement opportunities, will prepare the cohort to transform the landscape of Experiential Jewish Education and Jewish identity in frameworks including camps, campuses, classrooms, and communities. To apply or nominate a candidate, you may download an application or nomination form at www.ejewisheducation.com or emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
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KULANU is holding its annual fair at Cedarhurst Park in Cedarhurst. The event begins at 12 p.m. and includes game booths, refreshments, pony rides, and prizes. The Jewish Star is a sponsor of this event. Proceeds from the sponsorships will directly go to year-round programs for local families with special-needs children. For more information, call 516-569-3083.
May 6, 2011 â€˘ 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
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the taste test, my research yielded a short review of what I think are the best kosher energy drinks on the market. Brain Toniq: An organic energy drink that contains no chemicals or artificial sweeteners. Brain Toniq has a very pleasant citrus and tea flavor with a mild carbonation that makes it feel more like an Italian soda then an energy drink. For this reason alone it deserves a place on this list as the best tasting of all the energy drinks. Rock Star: Holds a 14 percent share of the energy drink buying market, Rock Star is the worldâ€™s leading energy drink brand. Though Rock Star puts out a variety of flavors, I found the â€œoriginal flavorâ€? to be best. It was something akin to a highly carbonated acidic lemon lime soda. Rock Star comes in a 16-ounce can and provides a whopping 280 calories and 62 grams of sugar for a very effective product. Red Bull: Certified by the KF, Red Bull is the ChĂ˘teau Latour of energy drinks. The flavor of Red
Bull is citrus and slightly reminiscent of a syrupy Mountain Dew. But it is light compared to many of its competitors and doesnâ€™t sit as heavily in the stomach. Easily Red Bull is my energy drink of choice. Java Monsterâ€™s Loca Moca: Also known for its ridiculous serving size and multiple flavors, Monster Energy actually strikes a win with its Loca Moca flavor. A coffee-based energy drink, Loca Moca is pleasantly chocolaty without being overly sweet. Containing the equivalent caffeine as several 8-ounce servings of coffee, Loca Moca makes for the best pick me up. I decided that energy drinks are the fire extinguisher of the beverage world. They should all be placed in boxes reading â€œin case of emergency, break glassâ€? scrawled in giant red letters. As the energy drinkâ€™s effects faded, my hands stopped shaking, my heart rate normalized and the brief stint of ataxia came to an end. Though I hope my research has in some way helped you make an informed choice as to your preferred energy beverage, I would personally stick with espresso. Please note that not all energy drink flavors are kosher; labels should be carefully checked. Zechariah Mehler is a widely published food writer and expert in social marketing. Follow him on Twitter @thekoshercritic
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A Jewish newspaper should have a Hebrew column. So here it is. We will try to maintain a level of vocabulary so that it will be easy enough for students to read and interesting enough for those more fluent to enjoy.
esach had been over for maybe forty-eight hours before I first heard someone ask me â€œSo, what are we doing about Shavuot?â€? The question was asked by one of my Shavuot night learning buddies, with whom I also share a subsequent breakfast and THE KOSHER early minyan. CRITIC His question solidified the realization that such is the nature of modern Jewish observance, once one Yom Tov is behind us, we immediately begin obsessing about the one Zechariah Mehler facing us. Nonet heless, it got me thinking about Shavuot night, which becomes increasingly more difficult as I get older. So in preparation for next monthâ€™s Torah-inspired all-nighter, I went to the grocery store and bought every energy drink I could find that had a hashgacha on it. What followed was a harrowing taste test that raised my heartbeat to dangerous levels and at one point caused me to hallucinate that I was some sort of a humming bird. Despite the frenetic horror in the aftermath of
Hebrew only please!
THE JEWISH STAR May 6, 2011 â€˘ 2 IYAR, 5771
Shavuot with or without the Red Bull
The Jerusalem Post Crossword Puzzle
By David Benkof
1. Burn soother 5. Funnyman Kaplan 9. Jewish Daily Forward’s “A Bintel ___” 14. Island with many Jews 15. Border lake 16. Grub 17. Lerner and Loewe musical about a mysterious Scottish village 19. Hosni’s predecessor 20. Kiryat ___ (city near Tel Aviv) 21. St. of Brandeis University 22. Steam ___ 23. ___ Moykher Sforim 25. Compare 26. “___ l’dodi v’dodi li” (“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”) 27. Ancient alphabetic character 28. Hebrew letter after yod 31. Israeli politician with a famous father 35. “Jewish Spectator” founder Weiss-Rosmarin 37. Shrek, for one 38. Macho dude 40. One way to get to London from Israel 41. Bearings 43. “The father of Canadian Jewry” 45. ___ de Triomphe 46. Salon hostess Henrietta 48. Wissotsky product 49. Encourages 51. Loud-mouth Gottfried 55. “The ___ Game” (Adler-Ross musical) 57. Implement 58. Levi’s alternative 59. Cut short 60. 1968 Fanny Brice biopic 62. Australian canine 63. “___ O.” (Freud subject) 64. Common Latin abbr. 65. Historian Tom (“1949”) 66. Word before and after “Or No” in the title of a Howie Mandel show 67. Some bills
1. “Tuesdays with Morrie” author Mitch 2. “Battlestar Galactica” actor Greene 3. Yiddish curse: “May you grow like an ___ with your head in the ground!” 4. Shakshuka ingredient 5. Tzom ___ 6. Stopped lying? 7. They might be on book jackets 8. Dark time for poets
9. Michael Jackson’s youngest child 10. Where the buffalo roam 11. Rabbi and host of “Simple Wisdom” 12. Actress ___ Rachel Wood (“Across the Universe”) 13. Meter reading 18. Improve 22. ___ K’eloheinu (Shabbat prayer) 24. Hebrew letter, literally “door” 25. Like the Jewish calendar 27. Modern Orthodox prep school on the Upper East Side of Manhattan 29. Month after Shevat 30. Sensed 31. Practice of many Ju-Bus 32. Food thickener 33. Author, “Fear of Flying” 34. 1948 and 1967 36. Los Angeles’s “Beit Teshuvah,” e.g. 39. Imaginary 42. Baal ___ (Hasidism founder) 44. Nobel laureate Sachs 47. J.F.K. posting 50. Trash hauler 51. Fixin’ to 52. Israeli candy-maker 53. Aired again 54. Recites the Hagadah 55. Inflates one’s resume 56. Broadway Rose-lover 57. Whistler’s whistle 60. Craze 61. Bill of divorce Answers will appear next week
Last week’s answers
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May 6, 2011 • 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
By Ariel Rosenbloom
What can bring peace to Israel? “We must keep all our land and not give it up to the Arabs.”
“You need to have talks with the United Nations and have the right media coverage so that the rest of the world is encouraged to jump in and help out.”
YEHUDIS ASH 8th grade, Shulamis School for Girls, Cedarhurst
YAACOV SCHLUSSELBERG Rambam Ravens Softball coach, Woodmere
MICHELLE CHARNOFF Junior at HAFTR High School, Cedarhurst
“I would stop worrying about what other countries have to say and do what Israel does best; take care of business.”
“There are a lot of decisions that need to be made, waiting too long to take action has very serious ramifications.”
“They really just can’t make peace with the Arabs. They shouldn’t give any land away because it’s not gonna make a difference.”
ISAAC LEIZERSON manager at Off the Wall Cedarhurst
DOV PIANKO Smicha student at Yeshiva University and Azrieli School for Education, Woodmere
YAACOV POLANSKY medical supply salesman, Cedarhurst
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THE JEWISH STAR May 6, 2011 • 2 IYAR, 5771
Mensch on the street
C’mon, cautious camp mom I am starting to get nervous about sending my 11 year-old son away to sleep-away camp. I’m sure he’ll be homesick and he only knows 3 other boys going. Also, I doubt he would remember to shower and brush his teeth. I am highly considering cancelling his registration and just sending him to day camp locally. What should I tell him? -Cautious Camp Mom
Dear Cautious Camp Mom,
Well, if you cancel sleep away camp and send him locally, you don’t really have to tell him anything because you are sending a message loud and clear. He will definitely get it: “When faced with uncomfortable situations, it is best to cower away and avoid it entirely. This way you don’t have to branch out and develop because you will never have to risk extending yourself.” Lady, whatever you do, do not change his plans. You did not mention anything about your son expressing reservations over registration. I think you’re imposing your concerns onto him and that’s not the healthiest parenting method to say the least. One healthy parenting method that you may want to adopt is letting your child experience real life consequences. “Oh, so if I sleep in my clothes I will actually smell B.O. wherever I go? I guess that means that is my B.O.! Yuck! I’m changing right now!” And then a week later he may learn another of life’s great lessons, “Hmm, I guess airing out the shirt that I wore for 48 hours straight last week doesn’t really get rid of body odor. Let me see if my counselor has cologne.” Little by little, if you allow your kid to make mistakes, he will troubleshoot until he dis-
covers the wonders of detergent. While you may be horrified reading this, just magnify the 11 year-old errors to 23 year-old errors and imagine your horror then. Now is a safe time for your son to mess up to the point of developing a stench. Plus, he will be in a setting with his peers who can help teach him the ropes. And by the way, in terms of the social concern, 2 or 3 kids are all that he needs to start branching out and making more friends. Camp with new friends is an awesome place to shift your position on the social ladder. Sometimes a nerdy school kid morphs into a funny philosopher in the bunk. And sometimes the cool sarcastic student all of a sudden is friendless in the canteen. It’s good for kids to discover their various social muscles. I’m concerned that you two may be what we call, “an undifferentiated ego mass”, or “enmeshed”. Not the best thing to be on a daily basis… So try not to hold him back from his friends. Let him progress as his peers do, and make sure not to plant seeds of over-concern. Of course you should be involved in his life and guard him from actual danger. (Hope you had a few molestation talks before you send him on that bus.) It’s a real fine line and you don’t want him to miss opportunities because of discomfort. So change into a Courageous Camp Mom and get excited because courage is contagious. Let’s get your son revved up for an awesome summer. C’mon Mommy, you can do it, put a little power to it! -Aviva
Aviva Rizel is a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice who can be reached at AvivaRizel.MFT@gmail.com.
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May 6, 2011 • 2 IYAR, 5771 THE JEWISH STAR
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