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Volume 12 No.9-September 2012




d Nic free e: & 2 ki M in c po hai aj n st er z s

Nicki Minaj

the hottest rapper alive

music fests: the inside scoop

the high school fashion issue! what are you wearing? SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


the SH

T Tha Teeniez Voice!

publisher Teenwise Media Limited

Editorial Kru Judy Wanja, Snyder Lukalia, Dismas Adega, Jamal Ifraha, Alvin, Felix Odhaimbo, Liverpool VCT, All Teeniez Massive

Design & Layout Elias Mwangi

Marketing Team Irene Njoroge, Emily Bisase

Departments Corporate Affairs: Ann Ngigi Distribution Manager: Colleta Meyo Distribution: Nation Courier Printer: Emirates Printing Press LLC, Dubai

Directors Funkie-licious TV • Ngaruiya Githegi Ann Ngigi • Adam Nyakundi Undercova Brotha The Insyder Offices pg 26

Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 020-2323363/0202323519, 0714 888 555 P.O. Box 51634 - 0200, email:

Make-up Fredrick Mwaniki, Vera Beauty College

Cover PHOTOGRAPHY Emmanuel Jambo


Editorial director Mahinda Mahinda

COPYRIGHT The Insyder is published by Teenwise Media Ltd. All rights reserved. The Insyder is published once a month. Contributions are most welcome and must be accompanied by stamped selfaddressed envelopes. All due care will be taken with material submitted, but the magazine and publishers cannot be held responsible for loss or damage. The Editor reserves the right to edit, amend or alter material in any way deemed necessary. The Insyder cannot be responsible for unsolicited material. The opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the editors and publishers of The Insyder.


September 2 0 1 2 SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


Insyde Insyde Insyde

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j a n i M i k c i N hat she’s got t super bass! CORPORATE CHIC

fashion fads

14 42


ber Mom The iMC’s Coolest Septem



8/25/12 12:48 PM


12:46 PM



September 2 0 1 2



t can ge



girls These


y sports da

N i c k i M inaj

It was as ing as entertain . .. ys a alw Statoe’s



What a buzz kill!







APRIL 2012


a nal b Natio s e gam

2 Chainz

It was deadly!

APRIL 2012 POSTERS.indd 4-5

l ura Cut t e sab Kap e y ve som da uys ha You g yche! s mad p

Laiser Hill cultura l day

BONUS : Nicki 2 chain minaj AND z POST ERS SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2




If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark, get set, spill! Hit us up on: SMS: 0714 888 555 Online: twitter @the insyder Connect with us on the Twitterverse and share your

H olla Hey Insyder, Am Willy.*Wink*wink* to all yah from tha insyder. It has been a long dream for me to be able to write this and send some art to you guyz. Doing this with my bic pen which can never be forgotten in my shopping list ya back to school and feeling happy holding it throughout the term. I’m a superholic of your teeniz mag. ‘The Insyder” which I do buy often coz it rocks so much. It has been good of you guyz kuweza kupenya gates zote za hae skul and the coolest places in the world to just inform the teeniez world/ generation which will live long. I hope that this will be my best opportunity to what I have got deep within my heart for the world coz enyewe this mag ikona ma psyk zingine kali sana anytym one reads it. Sometimes I even sacrifice my prep ili niguzie the mag but i end up reading yote coz ni kama glue and it’s so addictive and swit. So it is a prayer from me that this would be a chance to check out and to continue to be encouraged to continue sending my art and swagged photo’s to your magazine even if it’s the first tym for sure you are the teeniez voice. I hope to here from you very soon It would be my pleasure to chat with you.

From, ex Bramwel D’O Patch

From, Silver Waba (204) Chille Hae

r slang corne Word: mbuyembuye Origin: Anestar Bee Meaning: mtu hivihivi As used in a sentence “ Yule boiz ni mbuyembuye hawezizusha.”

September 2 0 1 2


wpest mag’ in Waddup! rite to the doso teeniez coolest. w to d ha I , e Man t! I’m hool and mor secondary sc rep in major funkies, whau guyz u yo yo yk ay ps w ad The ag… The ll yah of the m writing to te I cant stop buying this m in the ef a. hi be a e th ov l g al d brin latest 411 an wait to fashion cop, qru enn afta 404, can’t gg!!!!!! Iag ve sw lo I ag m 4. 8:4: ep that pretty work thea. Ke

Ey Wassurp! Hi i-qru, 4 real you make life in high school very enjoyable, hea in Chille Hae it’s a routine having the insyder magazines in tha lockerz. That’s why this tym round I want to wakilisha ma self in the mag. Wishing all da (404’s) nice moments as they wait 4 their K.C.S.E. Big up yourself..


thoughts with the world

Hi I-qru, I realy would want to thank yah and appreciate you guyz for supporting young talent by the drawings in the Bic Mistari Art, the open mic and such stuff. Am a die hard fan of the insyder mag. and I urge you to continue supporting guyz…. PEACE!!!! From, Karen Ndumia (204)

From, William Mwangi Kigumo Ice Skul


Hi insyder, Manze you guyz rock ma world with your monthly issue. We would realy love to be a part of you guyz. Enyewe you guyz keep us goin as we look out to be in every monthly issue. Hope round hi hamtatutupa hivyo, athawyz thanx 4 wat u guyz are doing and may u be blessed xanaaaaaar!!! From Bayano Maranda Hae

Wassurp I-qru, Enyewe u guyz mko 2 sawar! You guyz rocked us here at Koelel. Ata ka ni kutyt ur mag always finds it’s way into awa school and keeps us entertained 2 da fullest. Maybe u should feature some house/techno artists in yo issue and itakuwa gwan. Thanks and keep on doin wat you do best! Wwwoooooowww! Y.O.L.O. From Louie Xwaggar Koelel Hae

Word: Tikithe Origin: Kaggz Hae Meaning: mbio/haraka As used in a sentence “Mode alipofika na nyahunyo mastude walienda tikithe. ”

Matano Jay Manze mko juu 2 xana Timothy Okonji U r tops ma pple...kudos Babie Suzie dopest mag..........eveerr!
it... Myk Wàkãnåi Ndegwa dz nairobiz hottest mag knw about deep african beauty?? Evansoh DE Pochar Still mko toppest,ligi moja na ciroc! Ochieng Movin U spoil mih so much!!!!!!!! Shishi Jaymee Symez Awh_some magG ..
In tharR worLd :)) ..

Keep reppinG +254 ..

ToQsaiq love :) Morgan Ledrics insyders u the reall teen mag Nick Culture Mku fom bros showz awesome. Tussel Triney Delirious iz thz mag.... Yew guyz rock teens republic world,.. Btw keep da faya burnin.. (Awooh!!) Anto Crrigler I like you guyz ur show was storming Redbutterfly Twiri Luvin u guyz n cmkam st.annes. Lucy Kiriko u guyz r up mxt.big up. Knox Kevins I love tha mag v mach kama vp we need ua distributions in Migori, silazima tuende kisii, Migori iz just a county on its own. Ateku Addi Bubblest Brat Lets jest seh u toppest in da game! Moseh Mjanjez O-wenger U tha bestest crew ever. Derrick Kigotho u da bestest dawg on de planet.hata nicki minaj aseme ye ndo tha bestedt u r top@ de top Tim Nyakundi Hey u guyz rock y aint u take a trip 2 katch hae nxt term

book to azine on Face Insyder Mag holla at d an e in az Search: The Mag The Insyder ith w . t ts ec en nn co mm us all your co

twitter @the insyder Connect with us on the Twitterverse and share your thoughts with the world

r u o Y e t i r W


THE HOOK UP Simply buy 7 Stationery items in participating outlets. you will be hooked up with a coupon. Write or draw where you see yourself in 20 years and you are in it to win it! You will be judged by a panel on your creativity and vision. Winners get 40k in school fees. SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2




NAME: Mrs. Karigu ALIAS: Shash VILLAN REPP’ED: Mandy SKOOL: Nile Road sec school WEAPON OF CHOICE: Panoez, panoez and more panoez FATALITY COMBO: Sampling new panoes on you

MOST MEMORABLE DAY: One day during an exam week, Shash was making raos in classes making sure that everything was in check. During her patrol, she bumped into some chilles copy pasting mwakenyas onto the exam papers. The chilles were too slow to cover up their tracks and ended up getting busted. Shash being the inventor of the craziest panoez asked them to go to the toilets with fishing hooks and fish out sanitary pads from the pits. RATING: 6/10


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NAME: Mr. Owamo ALIAS: Snap Back VILLAN REPP’ED: GORO (Shaolin monks) SKOOL: Texas WEAPON OF CHOICE: Mangumi, Teke Na Viboko FATALITY COMBO: Right Punch + Left punch sandwiching your head + Header

Y: A D E L B A R O M E M T S MO One day during the April holz, Snap back was just chilling with his boyz outside the school compound, some guyz from school decided to check out and go for roundi mwenda since it was the holidays and school was boring. So as they were chapaing raos and vybing storoz they noticed someone they did not associate with really changiaing to their stories and on careful assessment they saw that it was Mr. Snapback himself..... Alas! They were busted, taken to the schools construction site to work alongside the mjengo guyz then later the rumble took place as snap back changed into Tai-Chi.... Kupigwa si kupigwa! RATING: 9/ 10 SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


t r A i r a t s i M



W nners Gallery

Edwin Wabwire Sacred Heart Boyz

William Mongadala Cardinal Otunga Hae William (304) Kaggz

Wandaka Kevin (304)MFA

Peterous Ndungu (204) Mother Of Apostles

Kevin Mwololo (404) Mumbuni boys

Benson Biringi KAnjuri Hae

Martin Wanjohi Gaishab Hae (404)

Prince K. (304)O’ skul Lyon Marir (404) O.J.H.S

Reckon you have the talent to feature in this column? Send us your artwork to win great prizes. Each month we will feature entries and pick the top 3 for the winners gallery. The winners will receive fantastic prizes No 1: Shopping Voucher, Funkie Tee & a Bic Sationery pack No. 2: Lunch Voucher , Funkie Tee & a Bic Stationery pack No.3: Travel Bag, Funkie Tee & a Bic Stationery pack For your entry to be selected as a winning entry the mistari must be via a BIC biro and MUST have the Bic Logo. All winning monthly entries will be entered into a draw to win a cool mountain bike or a term’s school fees. Please ensure you include a telephone number in your artwork. Send your entries to P.O Box 51634-00200 Nairobi

Ken Toney FSK (204)

Sally Kiare St. Lucie Kiriri


September 2 0 1 2

Dennis Githae MFA

Peter Ngotho Gaisha HAe SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


R E D N R O E W V E 21.


Why is ‘bra’ single and ‘panties’ plural? If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who does he/she call? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Can you cry under water? Why is lemon juice made








with artificial flavour, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons? Why do doctors and lawyers call what they do ‘ practice’? Why do people press harder on a remote control when they know the batteries are flat? Why does someone believe you when you say that there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?” Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? If quizzes are quizzical, then tests are… Does the queen bee have a king? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ? Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there... I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.” Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Do butterflies make butter? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?




4 14














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10 SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


Fashion Fads

it’s in, it’s not, it’s now!


The 90’s shirt-tied-around-waist craze is back and emerging as one of the hottest fads. The revamped old school trend is becoming a street style favorite with some of the dopest trendsetters. Kanye and Rihanna are huge fans of it, spotted sporting the shirt-tied-around-waist in several different ways! Check out their photoz and rock this look if it fits your style. Do not play around with this look though; you could end up looking shady!


Boat shoes are very versatile and can be paired with a variety of bottoms. There are the more common khakis or chinos combination which works but are plain boring. Depending on the occasion, they could be worn with anything from corduroy trousers to linen shorts, dungarees to cargo Capri pants, denim shorts to skinny jeans. Whatever you choose, there are two fundamental rules; never wear them with socks or any trouser whose length goes beyond the ankle. Secondly, never wear trousers or shorts of a darker color than your boat shoes. Most conventional boat shoes come in chocolate, sandy or coffee hues. Go all out with these shoes, keeping these rules in mind.


These shirts are the hottest thing right now with the leading ones being VAZZI and I AM A NAIROBIAN, MWANAUME NI EFFORT. Mavazi Handprint and EPIC NATION. Peeps y’all need to get these T’s. They complete your look with any bottoms you may fancy. Since not every person has them, when you get yours, flaunt it and make everyone else wish they were you.


News has it that these shorts are trendy and are a good look for guys. We will have you know that not all that checks in fashion wise is cool. However, we do understand that there are peeps who find them very fashionable, and are convinced that when they wear them, their legs look bigger than they really are. SMH!

GOTH LOOK from the an entire lifestyle


This accessory for guyz gives them all the swag they need for the day. With a dope brand like YMCMB or our very own OCTOPIZZO, you will automatically kill that look and peeps around you will know that you are with it! However, if you are not a hip hop head, please do not wear a snap back with Sahara boots, IT’S A SIN!


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Being Goth is down to the n to all the way music you liste . But finding ar y boots you we unlaced militar cult in a dress can be diffi Snap the right way to ing ar we is yone else is look th time where ever in ta and Heels. To at otoz or ph Backs, Supras e m so se ow fake, br ent hair er without looking diff y Tr . for inspiration ible. ss watch movies po y as e them as craz u dress yo styles and mak e us ca be t ember, jus But always rem is look is more ean you are. Th m n’t es do , th go goth. e ar y all tu you ac likely to work if


Gone are the days when a leso or kikoy would be a mother’s best look. African designers have made this fabric cool and fashionable. Little barbie skirts made from the leso fabric are most definitely a look to go for. You could also do kanga pants for dudes and high waist shorts for chics. Events like Blankets and Wine and Kikoy Culture have really come a long way in making this fabric cool. Let’s all embrace our culture and go all out with the African Prints. SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


fashion fads

get it, own it, rock it!

g Eeeerythin ble fashiona



striped skirts

Crop tops


Heels have always been in! Not only do higher heels add height, they cause the calves to flex, giving the legs a fit and leaner look. They come in different forms, standard pumps, wedges and kitten heels. Whichever type of heel you choose to wear, make sure they are the right fit, not too big or too small. Rock them any day, they are very stylish.

Crop Tops

These tops are a must have for every chic. The sun is finally out and we are no longer


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going for trench coats. Show some skin with a trendy crop top and some skinny jeans. You could either pair the look up with heels or flats. Either way, let the crop top bring out the fashionista in you.

Funky Sneaks

Sneakers for chics are a very comfy way to spend the day. Pair them up with shorts like our model and head out for a fun afternoon with your peeps. One can never go wrong with sneaks so long as they are not boot leg. Lol! SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


Cover story

Cover story


j a n i M i k c i N that she’s got ! s s a b r e sup



Nicki’s Outrageous Fashion

Nicki Minaj has proven herself to be the queen of outrageous, dynamic, and fearless fashion. Her extreme outfits and gravity-defying wigs have snatched the attention of many. In fact, the singer is so in touch with fashion she raps about Anna Wintour and Oscar de la Renta in her song ‘Come on a Cone.’ She has also been referred to as the “black Lady Gaga” because of her eccentric style. In 2010 we witnessed her Barbie-inspired looks, colorful wigs, & skintight leotards. But, who’s to thank for Nicki’s outrageous style? According to Nicki, it’s Mr. Kanye West! …though some may beg to differ. Check out our picks of her most outrageous


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and fantastically twisted fashion statements. Get ready to be astonished by clashing colors, dyed hair, and pompom balls!

How Nicki Got It In!!!!

Noted for her curvaceous figure, Onika Tanya Maraj aka Nicki Minaj took the airwaves by storm and is doing a great job in maintaining her reign. She holds the title of being the first mami to have seven singles on the Billboard Hot 100 at the same time, and her seventh single, “Super Bass” has since been certified quadruple-platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA).



For a chic whose dad was a drunk who once tried to kill her mother by setting the house on fire, Nicki has come a long way in her musical career. Her boyfriend leaving her and saying that she will amount to nothing did not kill her determination to make it in this industry. After trying out different career options, she joined a crew called ‘HOODSTARS’ as a rapper. They were able to record the entrance track for Victoria of the WWE titled ‘DON’T MESS WITH’. Well, let’s just say that it wasn’t a big enough achievement for Nicki as she left the crew right after. She uploaded her songs on Myspace and sent a few to big people in the music industry, such as Dirty Money

Entertainment. Her rapping career changed dramatically when Lil Wayne discovered her on a staircase. She was busy rhyming to a beat on what they used to call boom box in the old days. Her flow was off the chain and Weezy was impressed. After signing her, her first appearance was in the video ‘BedRock’. Her amazing body got guys wishing they were with her and chics wishing they were her. Hold Up!!! Chic did not look that fierce all along. When Weezy introduced her to Birdman, he thought that she had the flow and the rhyms but did not have the look to go with it. So he paid for all the goodies that this mami carries

with her. We guessing you know what we mean when we talking about goodies. Check out the before and after photoz. Hate it or love it, this fierce chic is going places and her body is very well following suit. If you love her music, kindly note that you do not have to follow her sense of fashion, unless it’s Halloween of course, which is rarely celebrated in Kenya. Her music continues to hit our airwaves by storm, keep the Super Bass on!!! SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2



Africa iko na watu kama 1 billion na Coke inajua kila mtu ana reason ya kubelieve in Africa Tungelike kujua reason yako

! s s e n d a m y a holid


t has been a really long term of these cat and mouse games that you put me through with all your in school drama. This time I’m going to keep an eye on you all through till you get back to the system. Skulz are finally out! Most of you have been complaining about the ‘Ongeri 16 week term rule’ for a long time now but everything that has a beginning, most definitely has an end. With all that closing skul excitement, I expected to see you guyz go overboard but then why would the stuff you do affect the public interests?

First, and this goes out to all of you Nairobi Day school cats, who flock the streets in town during closing day season to get new catches on shaggzmodo mamas who are just tharste (thirsty) to be hit on by dudes from schools with solid names out there. I get so upset when I have to make ducking pointers when I walk along aka Tom Mboya Street just because ten guyz from Jahmu, Parkie or AQ are Busy vybing a chille from Muthetheni, Funyula or Butula Gee. SMH! Who does that guyz? I know you think you’ve got game and all, but then could you just take it off our streets please? Secondly, and this one really pisses everyone

off, is the way you flock malls over the weekend. Who said malls are hangout joints? FYI a mall is a huge building with shops where people go for shopping. It’s not a place where teens go to hangout and crowd without carrying out any shopping activities. Psst!Buying a 500ml bottle of mountain dew or any other soda is not shopping so please don’t , and I repeat.... Do Not justify yourselves with that for when I find you, I will lock you up and you won’t escape for I’m the sniper and (whisper) I’m anonymous!

Tushow vile unafeel by filling in the BELIEVE CARD attached and sending it to us on: I believe in Africa P.O. Box 51634-00200 Nairobi Hala! And we will reward 10 peeps every month by printing their reasons in your favourite mag, The Insyder and hooking them up with an awesome Coca-Cola goodie bag! There are a billion reasons to believe in Africa, what’s yours? This campaign runs from 1st September to 31st December 2012

“Africa has potential especially with the youth, who are talented in sports, arts and music. It is these talents that will take Africa to the next level” – DNG


September 2 0 1 2 SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2




Dorm or DH...I’m confused!

! N E V A H L L A B’B School: LaiserHill School AKA: Laiser School Captain: Valentine Relationship Status:We ride solo! Hottest class: 3B Coolest clubs: Club Burn (hehehe) Most Precious Asset: B-Ball court Best meal: Spaghetti Worst Meal: Anything to do with beans Best T.A: Madam Sally Coolest T.A: Madam Sally Craziest person: Tiziana Best Dance crew: Nil’ DanceHall king: Marcos

The pool

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Tuiton area

Kicking back at the chill zone...

Mrs Maringo: We dnt roll like that! School Hog: Ewwww! Coolest class: 3B Funkie Holics: We all just chill in skul. Most used term:What do you mean? Most hated school: N.I.S. Queen of panoez: We only do detention! School celeb: We are all uniform Coolest cop: Tiziana Pilotti Prettiest Chille(z): Tiziana Pilotti

Interestinh SMH!

Where b’ball greatness is born and bred...


We keep it clean all day erry day!

Nature walk anybody....

Deuces baby! SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


statoe keep it fresh!

Statoe ended their school term in style with their sports day. Plus, teens get treated to a free movie courtesy of Fresh Gum.... here’s all the action....

Keeping things epic as always! Statoe madness ;)

The camera’s over here people!

Say Creeeme!

Avril with host Shiku and Statoe’s illest MC

Simply beautiful...

don’t they look alike? Charlie’s Angels hehe!

Swagg! Keep it Insyder...woooooord!

Star struck...LOL


Aje aje Avril, si tupigwe kamoja pia!

Ai, kwani hatupewi Fresh Gum?

Geetting ready for the movie. It’s camouflage y’all!

Keeping it fresh before the movie...

Katumbo dance, katumbo...lalalalala......

I am Number 1!

Umeficha wapi movie ticket yangu??


September 2 0 1 2 SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2




If you’re not daring enough to go for the Gucci look, consider a pair of colour block heels. They will instantly update any outfit and you’d be surprised how many things they go with.

We all know colour blocking is huge this season. All the celebrities are rocking the look and you can’t walk down the street without bumping into a number of guys rocking it too. It being hot this back to school, we chose to bring fashion to you through Rihana’s dare devil swag. If you’re daring enough, then these summer looks are perfect for you. For the more self conscious, we’ve thrown in some outfits for you too!

Colored pants give your outfit that extra edge. They transform what would have been boring into fabulous. Harem pants and shorts are really good for this weather since they are light and comfy. You can never have enough shorts. Not in this weather. Ideal for a relaxing day with friends or when you’re simply kicking back in the house or estate. 26

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The sling bag has been around for a while, but is a must have accessory. It’s easy to carry around and complements practically any outfit you might have on. From jeans, to skirts, to dresses to’s the ultimate accessory! SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2



smh moments with

y l e t i n i f it’s de

a teenie

Jahmu clowns

g n a th

Do you want to feature in the magazine? yes? then send us your coolest pics to: P.O Box 51634-00200 Nairobi

Bully much?

Kangoma kubamba nayo?

“hatutapiga kelele!”

“Let’s scatter!”

“Who needs an umbrella?” Love birds

Hecklers in the hizzle! 28

September 2 0 1 2

“Wake up you lazy bone!” SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


& 15


! G N I V RA




lubs are no longer STRICTLY for the over 18. The rules have changed especially for teenage girls. It’s not really surprising considering how fast us teens are maturing. Telling the difference between a 15 year old and an adult, in their late teens, is getting harder and harder. The boys definitely have a harder time getting passed the bouncers than girls, no one wants a club full of guys, SMH! So they learn, early in their life, that 200baab can get you a long way! And in this case, can land you a spot in an over age party.

dec 1 2012 st

HOW? Some guys ask their parents for permission to go out. No means spending the night in while yes is HALELUJIAH time to jam the night away! Unfortunately, not all parents believe in their children going out for a night on the town, so this is when the hustle comes in! Ever heard of these classic statements? ‘’I’m sleeping over at my friends house’’ or guys staying up till everyone in the house is dead asleep, so guys can sneak out. In any club you go to, you can’t kosa someone who has snuck out of the house. Ok, you’re out of the house but how are you getting there? From catching a jav to begging the taxi guy whose heading into town to give you a lift or at least waver the cab fare by half! If worse comes to worst, you settle for a bike ride in the chilling cold, anything to get you there right? All this in the hope that you 30

September 2 0 1 2

will get into the club though there’s an 80% chance that you won’t. Half of the party can be found in the parking lot, not the safest situation to be in though. After all that hustle, you begin anticipating the journey back home. Now let’s not even get started on that…..

WHEN? Fridays and Saturdays are the days 90% of under-age teens go out. Thank God! Our generation isn’t completely lost… A minimum of teens go raving on regular weekdays. Haha, guys we shouldn’t over do it! Yani, it’s Monday and there’s some 15yr old out there looking for plot to go to Westie? Dude, it’s never that serious!

WHY? Everyone has their own reason. Some want to get smashed while some guys want to meet hot chics. A percentage of teens just want to

punish or piss off their parents by sneaking out and doing the things we know make their skin crawl. But above all, the one that takes the cake is someone who just wants to have fun out with their friends. One who is genuinely going there for the crazy music and the feeling of freedom? Freedom to make their own decisions. Am I going to get drunk and face the parents behind the door? Am I going to hook up with this random person and catch some freaky diseases? Or am I going to go out, have the time of my life, so far, with my friends and get back home safe and with no regrets? Whatever the reason, no underage teen should be out raving. It looks fun and cool but the dangers are there too. Be smart, wait for your time to come, when your folks say NO! Listen to them. They know where they are coming from!




y r o t s i h h s a Sm


Jahmu’s game has been questioned over the years…..Rumor has it, there isn’t a single girl school that they have been fully tied to for longer than a few months. In light of this, we present a list of their conquests! What you decide after that is totally up to you….. Ngara girls-It’s always been a complex

history. Like a bad marriage where the spouse is always cheating. It’s either one or the other, but both can never fully pledge an allegiance to the other without looking for a ka mpango wa kando ;-)

Truth probability 8/10

Pangoe- Yeah, you best believe it! This

fling was however from early in the day kabla they were put on lockdown. Since the girls were confined to what could be termed as their version of Guantanamo Bay, their romance has been said to dwindle over the years.

Parky Arya- Hhhmmmmm…….. 8-0

that one is kiasi farfetched but who’s to say these boys don’t have enough game to rope an Arya honie? It has been suspected for a while now but is yet to be fully proven!

Truth probability 2/10

Braeside- Really guy? As in

seriously…………shucks, I don’t even know what to say to that one! Are you for real? Like seriously? Braeside? You could have had more luck with Bush Gee than with those honies! Warrrr?

Truth probability 0.00/20 SMH!

Nile road- Now these honies are that secret affair that you want nobody to ever find out about and is so good, you can’t

Truth probability 5/10

Huruma (hugzville/htown)-

These guys are just too close for comfort. They can’t seem to get enough of each other. Check into any funkie where these two suspects are present and trust me, you’ll find them together. They are almost joined at the hip! They are simply made for each other but too dumb to admit it! Oh yeah, not forgetting that Jahmu, the player presidents, can’t just settle down for one fish in this great ocean that is Hae Skool!


September 2 0 1 2

We keep it gangsta!

kalunch nayo!

Deuces Baby!

Truth probability 10/10

Hi ED,

us Bundur kool s e t a Priv 2 P.O. Box e r e h w No 873 Km

Birthday girl Angel with Almasi

Truth probability 8/10

s r e f s n a tr suck!


Please say you’ll hold my hat!

stop going back to. Rumor has it that they have been sited on numerous occasions around the suspected Jahmhurians but if you ask them, they will deny, deny, deny!

Hi Ben,

transfer, try sitting your folks down and explaining to them how you feel. Then stop and listen to why they want to transfer you to a new school. Truth be told, your folks will always have your back despite whatever you might think would freak them out. So before you take any drastic measurescase in point- running away from home…… how about you just try and sort things out in the grown up manner you would like them to take you in. Transferring is not the end of the world. You might be shocked to find that you like it in your new school. All the best Ben.

Since you clearly don’t want to


It’s been one short but fun holiday season. I was kinda looking forward to the school term, you know, meeting up with all my pals and telling everyone what an awesome time I had….. however my folks want me to transfer to some stuck up private school in the middle of nowhere! I feel like running away from home…what do I do? Ben, 204

Girlfriends ;)

Do the Azonto.......

Say Kuku hehehe!

Oh no they didn’t! SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2




! t x e e e n , p a click, sn

Photography is an art and for Kevin Kemama, a passion of his. His line of work has granted him the opportunity to work with many different people. This constant interaction with people has given him some insight into fashion today which he shares with you…..


evin Kemama is an ambitious, hardworking and fun loving guy. I’m what the ladies might term as a “bad-boy” but really I’m a humble and down to earth person. I want to make a difference in this country, and make my money when I am still a young guy. I like to be my own boss. I am currently at KeMU studying computer science. I am also the current Mr. KeMU. I also run my own Photography and Productions Company known as Kevin Kemama Photography. My biggest achievement this far was when I won the Mr. KeMU title. The second was when I got my first camera – I saved up for a long time for it. 34

September 2 0 1 2

My career is very rewarding. I get to meet important people and socialize with the most elite. There are many benefits that come with what I do. My style is Classy and Sophisticated. Fashion to me is an expression of someone’s personality – a way of expressing yourself. The biggest fashion disaster I’ve ever seen is guys wearing tight jeans, hipsters, or baggy pants with loafers and white socks. It annoys me. My iconic fashion celebrity is Kanye West because he isn’t afraid to explore the set trends. Also his smart casual choices are on point. I think teens keep up with trends faster these days but sometimes they just don’t know when to let go of old

ones or match them to their own unique personalities or body shape. Mohawks are so overdone! I’m sure Mr. T. must be feeling very irrelevant right now. A trend that is clearly isn’t going away any time soon is Snap Backs. I remember back when I was in high school, G-unit used to wear them. They never get old. My final word to teens is that they shouldn’t try too hard to impress the people around you, fashion isn’t all about the clothes, it’s about grooming – your hair, shoes, the way you carry yourself, accessories. Don’t overdo anything, keep it simple and suave, and most importantly, make your style unique to you. SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2



Will-smith-sept 25th

Avril-avril-lavigne-sept 27th Ludacris sept 11th

happy bday september babies...

TPain Sept 30th

Beyonce-Knowles sept 4th


(JUNE 22 - JULY 23) Like Geminis, you too may feel internalized. You won’t be able to settle down or relax. Instead a rather frantic pace may occur. You could feel constantly distracted and unable to think coherently. Something will be learned during the next three Months. Let’s wait and see what it is, if you can remember.


(July 21-Aug. 22) Values, virtues and vices will be paramount for three Months. Intellectual, spiritual and material worth will be pondered, planned for, eliminated, and or negotiated with others. Emotional values, too. You’ll be very concerned with professional affairs and the financial aspects of all interactions -- assessing, evaluating, and resolving that change must indeed emerge.


(May 23-June 20) Detailed events from the past may be your constant companions with the present feeling rather unreal. Something past is definitely affecting and influencing your present. Seek the link and then provide it time and space to dissolve.


(April 21-May 21) For the next three Months your task is primarily to focus on self; your needs, comforts, creativity, mind, amusements, play, fairness, games, and anything you consider agile. Try not to have any sort of function except self, playfulness, and the spirit of freedom.

Aries (March 21-April 20) Your daily life, both personal and academic, 36

September 2 0 1 2

plus all types of communication, inner and outer, could make a run for the hills in the next three Months. You will have to work harder on details. Or forget them. And work harder on making contact. Or not. You know what’s best.

zation will be reviewed so that you can begin to make plans for change and expansion within your professional life. Don’t tangle up communications. Be clear and precise and detailed and kind.



(Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You mind, curious, unable to be satisfied, seeking new knowledge and information springs into full speed ahead on so many subjects that you’ll be mentally awhirl for awhile without ceasing. Make sure to share with siblings all thoughts and feelings, even if they’re difficult. Travel appears over and over. Focus on meaningful interactions only.

(Dec. 21-Jan. 20) Eager for new knowledge, any study undertaken during Mercury retro will allow the parts of your life to finally fit together. The philosophy of education from an esoteric point of view is most likely a good fit for you at this time since most of the planets are hovering in your house of higher education.



(Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The usual two-sided situation will occur. You’ll be solitary and quiet, keeping everything to yourself almost to the point of hiding away. All the while you’ll be very aware of hidden, inner, and subtle levels. Don’t worry, no one else can see these parts of yourself. Concern for your spiritual life will manifest.


(Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Some sort of security is what you want now and it’s through resources and money. You might buy things for your relationship(s). Make sure they want and need whatever you choose. No one’s needs are met through possessions. A life balancing will soon occur.


(Jan. 21-Feb. 18) An interest in a study of your family origins could become an interest to follow. Begin with family elders asking what their experiences were long ago. Tape their answers, ask for pictures, and create a family biography. Should any childhood issues arise that create discomfort, know that you (and all of us) made contracts of experience prior to our birth.


(Feb. 18-March 20) You will clarify to friends exactly how you feel and what you need. It’s possible that due to the retrograde no one will hear you. Yet you must continue and try to communicate needs before it’s too late for everyone. You need another’s conscious response to your ideas and statements. Clarification will require negotiations.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 20) Whatever activities you perform and pursue in terms of how you express yourself in the greater world and how you serve your SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2




‘’RRRRing RRRing” goes the office desk phone, Judie picks it up and after a minute or two of giggling conversation, she turns to us and screams, “She’s turning sixteen!” then Alvin goes like, “ How is that supposed to excite us if we’re not having cake?” The ‘mean’ anonymous guy with many tattoos reacts to his remarks with an upset face saying “si you be easy guy, who

keeps interrupting grown ups like that as they think the chille would call if she doesn’t want us to go to her paaaray? Toka hapa!!” Fellow and Erica just sat on the corner watching Elias creating a funny Ad for the magazine. The next day we were set for a party and this is what went down at Angel’s sweet 16.........Check it out for yourself!

And the next top model is.....

Beyonce-Knowles sept 4th Get down!

Angel (center) with her girls


The pool.. .

Open wide..


ociety has made the world we live in today more cut throat and difficult than ever before. So much so that if you can’t live up to the set standards that society has set up, you end up being an outsider. That said, the smarter peeps in society have adapted to the cut throat society and made themselves fit in without raising a brow. How? It’s simple, you ball by association. Now don’t get me wrong, having a balling friend that you constantly hang out with is very different from posing to be a baler. I know you’re wondering what all this nonsense has to do with anything and I will tell you. Better yet, I will narrate it to you! It was a beautifully sunny and cloudless day….. (Insert melodramatic tune here) the birds were singing and little Messi wannabe’s were awkwardly kicking a ball around in the hope that they could show off their prowess to the hotties who had just closed school! I was bored to death so I got together with some of my boys looking all swaged up, cruising in my pimped out Chrysler 300C and headed to junkie for a bite before hitting IMAX for that to die for

Talk about the best cake ever! Yummmm!


Swagged out!

3D movie experience. We had our day all planned out until we got to Junkie of course. So we check into KFC and order 3 large buckets of chicken and drinks. While seated, I am attracted to one side of the place by a bunch of heckling teens. They were laughing so loudly, and shouting so much, it was clear they were just begging for everyone’s attention. I watched a waiter approach the table and walk away after one of the teens told him they had already ordered! “At least they bought something”, I remember thinking to myself. How shocked was I to see these teens reach into a back pack when they thought nobody could see them and each pull out a soda! 8-O That was literally my expression, to make things worse, these peeps were on that same table for a good three hours probably tweeting and posting how much fun they are having at KFC! Now initially, I would have hated on these peeps, calling them cheap and stuff though they are still posers in my books! However, even these peeps are classier than most because at least they took home the menu (slap on face)…..So after finishing

! n o ti a i c o s s a by

those scrumptious pieces of chicken with my boys we headed out….next stop IMAX… Being the classy peeps that we are, we had reserved our seats so we walked right up to the ticketteer and payed for our tickets. After all that food, it’s only natural that I’d need to visit the little boys room and guess who I bump into right outside the door….. the noisy boys from KFC! They were busy pleading with a ticketteer to let them take a twinkle. Being the cool guy that I am, I ask him to let them in using my ticket….. So I’m chilling with my boys at the lounge area just waiting to go into the movie with my boys when these peeps come and sit next to us. They are shouting about how excited they are about the movie but get this…. When everyone is told to get in cue, I swear those boys ran like they had stolen something…. That said, I really don’t get why they felt the need to pose as what they aint! Instead of wasting all your money, how about next time you buy afew good movies from your local movie vendor and chill out with your pals at home! Ya’ll need to stay on your lane and leave the serious pimpin to me and my boys coz that’s how we roll!

Mum smile.....LOL Birthday girl Angel looking glam 38

September 2 0 1 2

Kata keki tukule sasa...

Tihihi, we’ll be in The Insyder! SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2



Kevo Njogu(404) to Purity Wambui (404) GATANGA CCM. Asap baibe, ata ukinyamaza ma luv for yah keeps growing. Love you alwys and drop the silence. Humphrey Mutuma(404) to Philly Muthoni(404) Ruchu Hi. Just missing to meet you. Amon Quinnz (404) to Emma Mbugua Ng’araria #Big up Jesse to Josphine(204) Pangoe The falling of ur lips on mine has never been erased and every time I miss you, I close ma eyes and imagine we were kissing. Benson Mbogo(404) to Ruth Wanjiku(404) Karima galz Luv u lik the Insider faya, mwaa! James Githu(404) to Grace Wairimu(304) Ruchu galz Chop smartest! NJIIRI SCHOOL TO BARAKA GIRLS Distance might keep us apart but we luv you chiqs, chop smart! A.J.L.M to Elsy Wanjiru Mugi (404) Baraka Girls I search but never find, Hurt but never cry, I work forever trying and it’s worse but better tymz NJIIRI’S (404) to GATANGA CCM(404) Keep on bendovering! Jessy Ngugi (404) to T-QRU Insyder nyinyi wakare!


Stevoh Mulwa (304) To Tabitha the sweetest Nyarinda(304) Bahati GEE You are a class of your own and very special to me. Miss you big. Love ya n big ups Kibao. Chop hardest. James Iceti (304) to Sherry Tweetz(304) Kotet I’m glad to have met someone as precious as you are. You mean the world to me. Chop hard and see you soon. Kevv Musyoka(304) to Linda Lindsay Cassie(304) Naggee Hixx paramour! Thanx 2 GOD 4 lettin ya come into my life @ tha r8 time. Love ya the moh. Adios. Manoh(304) to Brenda (304) Mac Gee Mimy na wewe,kiru kimoja. Don have much words except for ‘I LOVE YOU’ Manoh(304) to avaicky Pangoe(304) If this is a love journey, I will love you all the way


Anestar bee to I-Qru U rock our world guys. Kip it rill!!! Ateek!!


September 2 0 1 2

Jawsay(304) to Kerry Watiri (304) Bush Gee Brek di silence pal. Nwei chop smart. Prof Kigo the (404) to Mercy (404) St. Georges Thor distance kips us apart will bring us 2getha.. Miss ya* Mike Silver (404) to Olivia Kimaru (404) Blescohouse GEE U mst b de reason for global warming coz ur xo hot! James Kunene(404) to Ruthann Mwangi(404) St.Claires Miss yah tweets big!! Ken(404) to Grace(404) Pangoe Can’t w 4 holz to c yah… Missin u big!! Jawsay (304) to Maggie(304) Oceanic gee Addicted 2 ya dia… All in all nice chop!! Kings (404) to Gladys (404) Keru gee U av gat to brk dat loud sylnc… rili missin yah. Arnold(404) toBianca Bernette(304) Na gee You noticed we have something in common… Miss yah big!! Moraya(404) to Essy(404) Ngara Gee I dnt wana cry coz ur da tear in ma eyes n fear lsng yah!!

Weeziy, Choxx Paly love Emmanuel Irungu(404) to Anita Brenda(404) Lockwood Galz Missin yu, mob lav Timothy Kamau(404) to Slava Gathoni(304) B Gee Aye mrembo. Still hope unachop, am still longing 4 u Mouzey Sessmo(404) to Susan(204) Moi Gee Isinya Ayeiyaz!....friend 4 ever. Kip it locked P-tah Shiri(304) to Jackie(404) Maasai Gee Alvin Jaguar(304) to Christine (304) M.M Missin u mostest...fulfil da promise Peter Karanja a.k.a p.k( 304) to Eunice Wanjiku Njoro Gee(304) Missin u big and bbie gal gotta light up ur firework Cliffton aka Joney Clif walker(304) to Jamie (304) Gathirime Gee Dec was nothin........wait for Aug holz Edu Gash(304) to Elmah(304) Boma Ajez bbie, hatament but will meet durn holz Travus too(304) to Martha (304) M.M Love da way u drive ma crazie crazzie.....kip duin dat bbie

Kevin D Almeida(4040 TO Winnie Risper(304) Ngiriambu gee Boom out the silence bana Martin Kamau(204) TO Damaris Njeri(304) Gatanga Gee All ma life is all on u! nathn can change ma heart from lavn u Dexter Muhia(204) to Lucy Nyambura(204) Uhuru Gee Even if ua miles away u alweis b my lady Darius Clitopizzo(204) to Silvya Ngina(204) Ngaru Gee If this is luv journey then lets take a walk Johnson Kosh(204) to Mercy Wangeci(304) Kabare Gee As sure as the sun will shine. I knw dat ua mine Charles Cabral(204) to Jennifffer Wangari(204) St. Gee Miss u like crazy. Evans Walcott(204) to Christine Robert(304) Kamuhia Gee Lurv u like crazy Kaven Rahim (204)to Gladys Mumbi(204) Othaya Gee Promise to luv u, cherish u and neva let u go




UBA’s 304’s to Iqru Keep ur swagg up Bryan Momanyi aka De Licious(404) to Carol(404) St. Yenno Gee Aje Aje , Miss u big........kip the hot swagg up. Mob lav Edu Di Genious(304) to Terry(304) Blue state Missin u babe... lav yu Wycleff G(404) t0 Neema n

Denxie(304) to Brenda(204) Kibuthia Gee My world is so lonely wen nuh wid u Denxie M(304)to Sarah(404) Kiaragana Gee Without u I am nutting, wid u am everything Lexxy Ravasco(304) to Liz Jasmine(404) T.T Gee Am underdosewithout ua love Jymo Weru (304)to Cinny(404) B.G Miss u big Sammy Jasper(304) to Julie(the breakdancer) (204) B.G MURURID BEE Ernest(404) to Racheal(304) Kamahuha Life is lyk a tune n in this lyf av decided to dance wid u. Love you. Matt(404) to Lucy(404) South Tetu Je princess, salamu kibao and mad luv. Joel Mindu(404) to Fab(404) Kenyatta galz Missin you 2 sana!! Roba(404) to Gracie(404) Ringaz Jus as the cloud goes by our lav grows Reuben(404) to Whitney(304) Kangubiri Chop vihardest na usixahau kujibamba Roba(404) to Nelly(404) Gatanga CCM

Errr... Mambo xmattest to, chop hard! Lav yah Roba(404) to Maureen k(404) Kamahuha Enyewe chop 2 vihard cutie. Sam(404) to Patricia(304) Gatanga Chambua ma luv.. Mwahest!! Khimani(404) to Jenny(404) Kabiruini Humble pple knw that speech is silver, silence is golden. Mwabz(404) to Sheila(304) Muru gee. Chop vihardest and thanx for always bein there.. I love you Quincy(404) to June(304)

Gatanga CCM

Liv hard, play hard, chop hard Leonne(404) to Maggie(404) ST.Michaels Kim(404) to Lynn(404) Gatanga Chop hard b4 lyf fucks yah... Mwaahest Ric(404) to Colette(Grade 10) Braeburn sch. Lv yah, play safe.. MAASAI GALZ Esther Kimeth(204) to Amos Moitalel(104)Koelel Bee. Jeaz bro!!! ope u r doin gr8:Dear u r the Best Bro I eva had n gezo no m2 kan eva replace u koz u mek mah daiz braitext.Lov u baibe bro,chop xmat n are a xplendid tym. Linette Mwende(204)to Matthew Mwangi(204)Narok High. You rilly med mah de during da games day-I’ll alweiz treaxure dat moment.I miss u big.chop xmat. Esther Kimotho(204)to Myk Njehia(204)Koelel Bee. Wu? Xema new wen u wa bon am xua t waz rainin’ koz heven was weeping 4 lozin an angle lyk u.Btw kip da faya bunin’ ma xupahuman!! Luv u bigext n chop xmat. Maggy Koiyet(204)toAmos Leiyan(404)Narok High. Don b scared finding uaxelf in a dark n bloody room,wall sheking right there koz u r dip in mah hat.chop powa!! Esther Kimontho(204)to Saito rajo(404)Narok High. Xemar dear?Ua legs might b tired koz u’ve been runin thru ma mynd set a seal upon ua hat,u r one in a million .chop xmat bby.mob lyuv !! n hav a fab tym. Maurine Akinyi(204)to Victor (204)Ungem. Hata ka ni kunyamaza haikuagi hivyo.say xomething. Linette Mwende(204)to Beauta Njenge(204)Narok High. Hi,true friends neva pat mayb in distance but hat no.....Mob luv.Nd kip da fire flaming.Btw dank 4 being hia 4 me.Chop hard. Maggy Koiyet (204) to Robert Solaton(204)Narok High. You r ma bxtxt cuz eva!!Luv u big n chop xmat Maurine Akinyi (204)to Grace Wanjala,Marlene,Maurine

Anyango(204)Buru Gee. U r the bext av eva had.Enjoy your stay in skul. Nancy Wanjiru(204)to Elijah Kacrimo(304)olkejuado Hae. Hi hun! Ope uko fit ,miss yah big.plizz huk up and brek da xilence.Chop hard LOL.Still da one I luv.xay hae 2 Harison Kitale. Linet Mwende & Esther KImotho(204) to Brandley(404),Joram Njoroge(204)Mother of Apostle Seminary Wz’up u r xo quiet new brek da xilence.Nwe txt kwa kuloxt. Chop Xmata, Nancy KIloku(204)Anthny Kantet(204)KOelel Bee. Hi? Tz ma wish dhat uko pouwah! Plz brek da xilence koz I miss u BIG.Xay hae to all I know uko.Nyc Tum n Chop xmat.


James Kamweti(403)to Neddy Amalemba(403)Tigoi Galz Miss u xoo much.thanx 4 every chop smart James Kamweti(403)to Zippy Kendeli(404)Tigoi Galz I cudn’t mek it.Xowy 4 dat.Op u’ll understand Jimmy Kamweti(304)to Consolata Kayua(401)Christ The King Academy Juzz checkin on ma luvly siz. Chop Smart Jimmy Kamweti(403)to Juliet Bosibori(403)Christ The King Academa Thax 4 being xoo caring.Av a nyc tym. MBOONI SKULL(Kalchaz) Swagga(404) 2 Angie (304) PB Kilungu I treasure u en I wanna change spears in the National Flag into roses juzz 2 honour ur Luv Kasomoh Swagga(404) 2 Nyaxxerians Nyax ilinilea,siezi wasahau. nywei guyz u rock,kip ur swag. Swagga 2 Joy(404)Tala Gee. I am ur fwend no matter wat!! Swagga(404) 2 Grace(404) Nyayo Gee To me u are more than a fwend.U ar da best I ever had. Swagga(404) 2 Dorcas (404) Mbooni Gee Sap twin sister?Wish u all da best en chop hard. Swagga(404) 2 Juma M (104)Mukaa Bee & Noah Juma(swagga boy)<class 7>Makueni School Sap mabro?Give it ur best shot in studies en show dem. Nawaamini!!All da best. Dan kyanika(404) to Juma M(104)Kimathi Gee I am Still meditating all that we shared.Soon or later to pounce like a lion.Miss U. Bonnie(404) 2 Joyleen (404) PB Kilungu Vipyz dia ? U r as hot as I feel. Miss Yea. Bonnie(404) 2 Grace (404)

Do you/your skool want to feature on The Insyder Big-Ups corner? Send your big-ups to yuaholla P.O Box 51634 - 00200 Nairobi or Text 0714 888555

Lema. Wi fisw neither east or west,wi fis forward .Gotea de rest. Protus (404) to Mercy (404) PB Kilungu Wondering if I could eva c u again.Gyal u touched mah heart. Kelvin Mberi (404) to Winnie Muli(404) P.B Kilungu Hi gorgeous stil havin withdrawals of the spectacular moments.Lots of luv.Peace. Linus (404) to Scolvia (404) Bunyore Gee I can’t help but wait,coz ur a star. Andrew (404) to Lindah (404) P.B Kilungu Remember the promise.I cant wait!! Kenwallace (404) to Eileen (404) P.B kilungu Heyo’ missn’de company gal. + ur turquoise eyez &quishy lip.OMG can’thelp but kip it mwaaaaest!!Chop vismart. Kenwallace(404) Doreen (404) St.Lucia Galz. Ooh almost 4getin,by dawe when is the wedding?,looking 4ward 2 ya invitation.Haha! Ken (404) Diana (403) Nyayo Gee. Wot a pleasure to knw ya.Kip da Promise. Collo(404) to Terry (404) PB Kilungu If memories were cash,I would be the richest person coz u r still in mynd Andrew (404) to Elsie (104) Nyayo Gee. It haunts me wen I remember u.Keep the swagg.Mob iuv.


Orio (404) To Immah (404) Masii Bee. I’m trapped upon an island wid no one around,cn u help me.Work smart en not hard. Orio (404) to Moha (404) Mac Bee. Friendship is lyk wne it grows sweeter as it grows older. Nyc to have u as ma frirnd. Work Smat,well? Orio(404) to Sam (404) Mac Bee. Our friendship is lyk a tree it grows strong ,healthy and wonderful wen we tek care of it.Your silence is xo strong. Work hard. Orio (404) to Ken Orio (104) Kairi. U r da best bro eva,luv you!! Norah Sam (404) to Amo (304) Katheka mixed Best bro 4eva,chop hard. XOXO. Norah sam (404) to Ian Astetu (404) Masii Bee. We don’t always get everything we care 2 have so we lrn to live.Miss ya halla pl!!!! Anne (404) ti Githinji (404) UBA Missmetation kibao.Time is comin XOXO

Anne (404) to Fredie (304) Masii Bee. Silence is killin halla!! Anne (404) to Mnesh (304) Brookshine Acha kupotea. halla!! Irene (404) to Deri (404) Mbooni Ppl mit by chance en Bcome friendz by chance .Chop hard!! Irene (404) to Angie (404) St.Lawrence Gee Your da bst cuz eva.Chop hard en rem our pwomise Hi 2 tracy. Nyayo Galz to The Insyder Crew. Your mag is rockin’ Faith (404) to Joy Muema (404) Mama Ngina. Miss you ,send ua digts. Christine (404) to Bob (404) Mumbe Boyz. Miss yah & chop hard. Christine(404) to Augustine (404) Machax Baptist. Chop hard & pals 4ever Christine(404) to Mercy Musyimi (304)Barazani gals. Miss you & chop hard. You r a gift to me Nyayo to Mbooni Boys Mko juu tu sana SPRINGVALE HIGH SCHOOL Tedd Casamora(404) to AshNyemoh Barbie(404);Buru Gee In life we meet many people but only those who mean a lot to us,leave marks in our hearts..twoz gr8 kipin in touch with yew; chp finest Jamal Hassan Karim to Fiona Muthoni Ng’araria Gee At first I seemed to have lost my way but since I met you,its lyk a dream come true.I’ve learnt to love and that’s all I need!! Dan (404) to Caro (404) St.Catherine Bin long,brk da xylenx and holla...chop smart!! Marto to Vicky (304) St.Catherine Waxxup vickey !! ku2lia ndo form cutie....????uckwange ivi....... Jabu (404) to Fridah (304) Kaliluni Gee Honie ,wassup? Sure ua bin xylent for long but don’ worry,nway check u during holz...luv yuh!! Tedd to Angie St.Elizabeth Twoz gr8 knowin’ yah...pwizz kip n touch-chop hard!! CHINGA BEE Kibera (404) to The Insyder QRU;you dudez are awesome coz you r doing wat ur best @!! Kennah 404) toDenise Chantel (404) Choxx Xul If I was a rainbow, I uld show ma colours 4 u! Luv rimboest kiwendo special Michael (404) to risper njeri (404) Gatungi Gee. Luv u xanar!!! Kibich (404) to C.S.I fallen

soldiers 2012 We celebrate you guyz!! Peter (404) to Nessy Wanjiku (404) Immamu Gee Luv u big ..... Jon dih (404) to Esy Shiro (204) Mwax Gee. Mobest kiwedo Stero (404) to all my haters I luv u all n kip it locked. Eric (404) to Alice Shiku (404) Mahigu Gee Hi gal,chop hard. Dickens (404) to Ann (404) O.G I think am lyking u & ur character .Miss yah xanar n mob luv.XOXOXO Jose (404) to Faith Wangu (204) Chinga Gee Mwax! Simo (404) to Issah Muthoni (404) Othaya Galz. Mob luv gal,miss u mob. Jose(404) to Vivian Wanjiru (404) Tumu Tumu Mob luv Simo (404) to Elizah Mwaura (304) J.M Kaire Miss ma best moments wid u gal. Brian(404) to Essie (404) C.Gee Maad luv. C.S.I to all C.S.I haterz. Kip it rollig!! Momentum (404) to all 4B Members Othaya Gee Big up!!!! Tito (404) Brenda Faror (404) O.G Should I........? Franco (404) to Vnitah Wambui (404) Chinga galz Miss u biggest Titular mgenge (404) to all chybzville Entertainment klub. Tuchafue wall 2taosha baadaye. Ken (404) to all 4B dancerz. Kip up de swag. Hoepaz Mathenge to Wafuasi. Wako nyuma ka hagga!!!


Ericko –Dero to Bentah(304) senti Gee Wagwan chargin,mob luv gtrns az usual.Focus smart 2 attain big tins agwaan! Rikoz Da Gillis to Gweldon (204) Parky Gee Moh faya ma diaz ,ehh brown skin si nakuambia kuna form moto yako.sijui itakuwaje..... Ritchie to Juliet (304) Statoe I am ur friend no matter wat!! Swagga (404) 2 Dorcas(404) Mbooni Gee Sap twin Sister?Wish u all da best en chop hard


Kip(304) to micky(304) lockwood gee Xup deskie! Chop vi hardest Eyan(404)c toQueenville (404) Kitengela international Niajez tha thing z comin... chop hard

Bill(304) to Mercy Chirchir (304) Mchai gee Ajez kunyamaza....KIT Zuma (304) to Mercy (304) Cage2 Miss yuh big Kip(304) to Nyahururu elite 304’s Ssup guys! Miss yah bigtym Nicko kogo(404) to Victoria chebet(404) cage2 Wassuo girl!! Da silence is too loud Nicko Talia(304) to Fay Talia ( 304) nax gee Mob luv for you. Really nimekuhata vigwanest Gilly Ned(304) to Monique(304) Smagzville Hi Niq. Ajez with mose 1 babe Allan Hastings(404) to Camerine(404) and Mercy Gwen(404) St. Clares Gee Aje! Aje! Mismentation ni ka zote...nway break da silence.. Japhe (304) to Lilly chepkorir (404) Kippeh Chop hardest!! Bill zuma (304) to Cindy(204) Choxx Hope uko smarter. Chop vihardest bigtym Ian(304) to Anita(404) kippeh Gee Break tha silence....miss yuh so much Nicholas kogo (404) to Abigael chepchirchir (404) Kippeh Gee Long tym no see n the silence is too loud Gilbert nod (304) to NIQ (304) Smaggzville Gotewa na zuma. Sayz u chop vihard....friends 4ever Mose to Niq(304) smaggzville Hi baibz, ur just the best. Cu next holz lv yah...chop hard Boris (304) to daizee(304) K.Gee Thinkn of u lyk never b4.luv u big! Allan kibet(404) to millie(404) south Tetu Gee Aloha! Miss yuh big...nway c u next holz.....LOL Kev (304) to Bev(204) kippeh Missin u a lot. Nway sowwy 4 wat happened. Still luv u. mwaah!! Gilbert ned(304) to Joan(304) Smagzville Ajez joan!! Allan kibet(304) to Daisy(304) choxx Wassup best pal.Miss u big nway chop hard C u next holz Dallah bill(304) to Eve (304) Mercy Gee Hae Eve.friends 4 ever Rodgers (304) to Rubi Migui(304) pioneer Gee Wats up! Always on my mind shawty


Lyndah (304) to Dennoh (304) A.Q Hi hope u good & chopping hard in xul always remem-

ber that we are BFFs 4 lyf wapende wasipende!! Lynda(304) to Freddy(304) masii bee. Hope ur doing fine chop to tha fullest and know that I miss u xo xo much Ashley (304) to Edu. Anatha chance is all am asking for.luv u with all my heart.....missin u vi cwaizee Ashley(304) to Antonio de moz(404) rock bee We’ve been thru it all and neva hav I regretted.Know that I got your back always cheers to that Ashley(304) to Kris A.Q U didn’t give us a chance to know each other better... otherwise all the bestest!!! Lyndah( 304) to khoustay(304) Mackenzie bee Xema hope u r gewd n chopn’ smart.misn u vigwanest Ashley & Lynda(304) to Anto & Brayo (404) L.B.C Ur the bestest cuzo u mostest Lyndah & Ashley(304) to Gerald(304) Kagz bee Hope umeacha ku shy off jus maintain the swagg!!! Hafswa (304) to Dan (304) Makueni bee. It seems like ages...ongea bana missin u .remember to stay in touch Hafswa (304) to kennito(304) matish bee Hope ur still funny anywae gotea nicko Ts n dan Milly to omondi (404) makueni bee Hi,just breakin tha silence anyhw got to stay in touch my friend Santoz (404) to collo(304) Mac bee. Sema babe? The distance is killing me but we stil cul and tyt Gee(404) to Hila(404) IQ boy boyz Knowing u was the best thing that happened to me.nissn u vigwan!! Gee(404) to Sharon mutilek(404) tawa gee. Ur silence freaks me owt.. ongea bana anyhu missn u vigwanest Arya(404) to Irena & Benta(404) St.Marys Egoji. I ain’t dead...break tha silence


Tutu to Tracieshiko, Pesh & Kate(304) Buru Gee Lots of luv n mith u big XoXo Lornah tarus to Olivia kobia(304) Blue hills academy Break tha silence man!! Babez to temba murage(204) Bush Chop hard!! Mama baby to to Yvonne, Tot,Mercy..Nancy(304) We international Daphine to ian(204) Parky bee Mob luv SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2




confused in love

TEENS WAR W hile everyone is busy whining about the length of skirts and pointing that judging finger on drugs sex and money, teens are literally loosing it. Forget the skirts, forget alcohol and pleaaaaaeeeeeeese forget the nonsense about the Mock exam monster! These guys have taken anger to a whole new level! Recently, there has been a surge of internet videos (some people claim are staged) which show teens getting into pre-organized fights! SMH The most shocking thing is that, someone would record these acts of violence, and post them on the net. Is it that teens are getting off on this violence. How do these bouts start? Say what?.........the insults You’re chilling with your boys and you head to the canteen to buy a snack. While at the canteen, someone cuts you in line and the resulting outcome is an abusive statement! Not wanting to seem like the lesser guy or girl in some instances, you respond with a coy statement. In the span of under a minute, the both of you have an all out word war going. Next thing is the both of you are standing so close your noses are literally touching and what happens next is history……A few minutes later, the both of you are seated in the principal’s office one nursing a bleeding broken nose while the other, hopefully you,


September 2 0 1 2

seats there looking triumphant despite the fact that you are a shoe in for suspension! Bad blood……..beef? So following the scenario above….the both of you feel that you still have a score to settle and the other guy really wants to prove that he can whoop you’re a#$! However, if you do it during suspension, you won’t have the crowd you need to pump up your ego so you wait until your back in school and throw in the challenge. In a matter of seconds in between ununderstandable growling and snarling, a venue and a time is selected and the whole school can’t wait for school to be out! The spot is always within walking distance….the parking lot of a nearby mall, an incomplete building, an open field, someone’s home when the parents are out etc. Phones out and action, the tumble begins… Go Get’em……peer pressure All your friends are there, cheering fight, fight, fight! You’re desperately waiting for one of your pals to hold you back and be the voice of reason but nothing! You feel sorry for the little dweeb because you know for shizzle your gonna do him worse than the last beating you gave him. As your basking in al your glory, you are met with a vicious right hook….the crowd goes wild because now for sure, it’s on! It’s only been a minute and the crowd is drowning you in all their cheering and jeering! You want to stop but the crowd won’t let

you. The thought of you being the wimp that got beat up on You Tube makes you punch harder and harder. You feel someone pulling on you and you turn around and shove them aside, and you continue to mercilessly pummel the sucker who took that first swing, now comfortably tucked beneath you as you deliver blow after blow. The crowd goes silent and now more hands are tearing you away from the bloody mess you’re causing. You watch as they pick up their fallen soldier, next stop for him is most probably the hospital. You laugh and say something sarcastic and one of his friends’ walks up to you, looks you in the face and answers back! It’s like a sweet dare. Another chance to school these idiots you think so you do the only rational thing in your head at that time…… B**** move! You shove him and step up to him. What follows is another exchange of words as your boys and his boys-one very wounded- hold you back! Another date is set, another war is waged, only this time it’s a crew affair and there’ll be more than one person getting a beating! You smile, and feeling like the Alfa male, you take on his challenge! The vicious cycle continues, who wins the next round? You can never know for sure!

Hi Big siz, I am a 16-year-old 304 at a certain high school and I have been dating my boyfriend for the last two years. We are very much in love with each otherI think- and the two years have been the best in my life. However, I met a charming man in his early 20s during an event that involved campus students and some organization. We were instantly attracted to each other and we have gone for two dates. Something tells me this is the man of my dreams. Unlike my high school boyfriend who is always broke, this guy takes me to nice places, is very kind and adores me. Is it possible to be in love with two people? What should I do? Please Advice Terry, 304 Hi Terry, I think you really need some tough love right about now so pardon me if this comes out as a little harsh! You are a

sixteen year old teenager, in high school, haven’t yet done your KCSE, not sure of what your life holds for your future and your biggest concern is that you think you’re in love with two men? At your age, your biggest concern should be to your education. Now I say this with love, that twenty something year old is only out to use you and that high school fling of yours probably has five other girls on the side and if he doesn’t your romance will end as soon as he clears high school. Don’t waste your teen years chasing after love and trying to find that perfect someone, he’ll come later. Focus on your education now, make your own money and be that strong and free independent sister. However, when all is said and done, the choice remains yours. I wish you well. Take care. Big Siz

K ller season NwanER COR e D RED er liv :O Jina ya gova

s-tri-qt Msanii: Dis uruklyn B C P :N in p Rep e sarcastic W ! ng da c N.P.C. ed in plasti pp ra Jetsons w g with the Our game in ill ch , ce pa erprotective rs ov te s ou al in We d ting, our go ec rf pe is is am electe This flow e ntial, my te lic de po nfi e co th ust know We winning e she had ose, ya’ll m lik lo lt go fe t it n’ d You do kicks an uck on my Your gal st man am obese no teeth ssem, that di T Q IR DISS-T go HAm INSYDER I an ve feasts m ha ts le Now od fo y m make Yoh gal is after I eat breakfast, ep hating r ke fo r rs he te d ha I ha sandwich, a e T Q m Ie R ak Her m y, DISS-T u like cand ! Still love yo em p’ s’em , dum Kill’em, Dis


Certificate and Diploma Courses offered: ʩ ʩ ʩ ʩ ʩ ʩ ʩ

BLUE CORNER NAME: Jeff Geoffrey MSANII: J- Goffa TRACK: Blurred by emotions REPPIN: Sawa Bee I wish I never said goodbye For a great price you entice Now tears down my eyes For I deep know that I lied You fill my heart with pleasure The only thing that I treasure I promise not to heart cause you too have a heart My heart beats in double Because I know its in trouble Love line connection Mistake is for correction This time I fail, don’t take me to jail.

Nairobi, Nakuru & Eldoret.

ʩ ʩ Contact Us: Tel: 020 221 6 520 Cel: 0725 923 550 email: website: facebook: Vera Beauty and Fashion College

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Fashion Design Beauty Therapy Modeling and etiquette Hairdressing Beadwork & Accessories Instructor’s course Motivational Public speaking Events Planning & Management Events Decoration & flower arranging Interior Design Design and sketching Entrepreneurship & small business management SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2



be e tfhashionista

Fashion has been said to be more than what you wear. Time and time again, celebrities have proven that there’s more to what you wear than the garment or the look of the clothing. Patricia Gachoka, a clothing designer and a presenter for USIU radio talks to us about all matters fashion ........


atricia Gachoka a.k.a trish is a 20 year old Journalism student at USIU, who is fun loving, social and determined to succeed in life. In general the work I do is entertainment and lifestyle based. I have an upcoming clothing line in the works, I’m a stylist, I do PR with Cynthia Nyamai Communications. I also work for Radio USIU as a presenter for the breakfast show “Morning Madness” and I am also the current Head of PR for Radio USIU. I am also an artist i.e. I paint and draw plus I’m a voice artist for Dj’s (Dj Vin,Dj Andie of Homeboyz Radio) Dj Crème de la Crème and Dj Redeye Vuvu of Epic Nation. My biggest achievement thus far is having been the host of Club Kiboko and Disney Magic when I was 10 years old….back in 2002. Getting where you want to be in life is hard work, but I love every minute of my journey to the top, because I love what I do!


September 2 0 1 2

I don’t have one specific style… But you’ll mostly find me dressed in either vintage clothes or preppy when I need to be a formal or modern chic. Fashion to me is an extension of my personality…it’s freedomJ Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening. I think the biggest fashion disaster I’ve ever seen is fishnet stockings!!! As in are they really necessary? LOL! When it comes to teen fashion today, I’d say I think it’s going in the right direction…I love how we as Africans have embraced things like kikoys and kangas….it shows our uniqueness… My iconic fashion celebrity has to be Blake Lively. I love her style, I’m inspired by it.

Everything she puts on compliments her body and shows her moods and her personality, and that’s something I admire, because to me, what you wear speaks to people. From my high school days, miniskirts are still in….back then “hey mamas” were in fashion, now there’s the more feminine ruffle miniskirts. To all the teens out there, I think you should simply be unique and endorse it! For you to be irreplaceable you should always be different. Your background and circumstances may have influenced who you are as a person, but you are responsible for who you become. SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2


Boy talk

ot her I think I g pregnant

bUMP aHEad? I am in 304 in a mixed school in Nairobi. I have been in a rather physical relationship with a certain girl in my school. Recently, over school holidays before we went back for tuition, we took things to a different level if you get my drift…..Now I am scared that I got her pregnant. She is vomiting in the morning and can’t stand the smell of simple things like cologne. She won’t even look me in the eye and avoids me like the plague. Please advise me on the most grown up approach I can have towards this. I really don’t want to drop out of school and I don’t want her to do so either. I am honestly hoping that she is having a bad case of food poisoning or something! What do I do? Taio, 304 Dear Taio, Every action has it consequences; some are nor pleasing neither what you expected and we have to live with each and every action we make in life. First step is for your girlfriend to take a pregnancy test, know whether she is pregnant. If she is not pregnant then make an informed choice either to abstain until you are ready or to always use protection. If she is pregnant then both of you and your guardians/ parents will need to talk about as it will have many implications. If she is pregnant it will mean at some point she will stop her studies so that she can attend to the baby, however there is a chance of her going back to school but it will depend on her parents/ guardian’s willingness to take her back to school. Your studies might not be interrupted but this is another phase of life- fatherhood- therefore you will need to be prepared for the responsibilities that come with this phase. It is important that you talk to someone you trust and who can support you both emotionally and financially. Share with him/her your feelings and fears. It might not be an easy time but with the support from your loved ones the burden can be shared. Much love, Biggie


September 2 0 1 2

Girl Talk

a is l pa y M drunk! Hic!

Hi siz, I am getting concerned for a friend of mine. She recently started drinking and I fear she is getting addicted to it. She steals it from her parents and is friends with a local spirits seller in her hood. There’s one time she got so drunk, she blacked out. I had to drag her home with me because I couldn’t let her parents see her like that. I’ve tried to get her to stop but she isn’t listening to me. Please help… Terry, 204 Dear Terry, It must be disappointing seeing your friend go down the trench. Alcohol consumption affects the brains cells, resulting in poor judgment, difficulty making decisions and lack of insight. Over drinking can also make her engage in risky sexual behaviours that can led to getting HIV, sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy. First talk to her about her behavior; the best time to talk to her is shortly after an alcohol related problem has occurred –like when you dragged her home. Choose a time when she is sober, both of you are calm and in a private place and talk it out. Let her know the facts about her behaviour and the possible consequences. Remember she may not agree with everything you tell her. Second, you might not be able to do it alone, seek support from her significant others like parents or someone you know that she trusts and listens to. Thirdly if she acknowledges that for sure she has a problem and she would like to be helped, refer her to an Alcoholics Anonymous group where she can get more information. Remember as a friend you can only do so much, the rest is up to her! Luv, Big sis. SEPTEMBER 2 0 1 2






It won’t let you down 48

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The Insyder September 2012  

NICKI MINAJ - Named the Hottest Rapper Alive Read more on how she got her hustle on & how this hu$tle has brought her to where she is now....

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