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They say, “When is rains, it pours.” Whoever “they” are need to shut the hell up and grab me an umbrella.


Hype Weekly

Inside: Bike Life pt. 3 Diablo 3 Blindman & the bodysmith pt. 2

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Weekly Contact us! We do not have the E-Rabies!

issue #38 - May 24th, 2012

The Slant

Business Bits The Hype Weekly, LLC Twitter: thehypeweekly (785) 289-5280 (All content copyright 2012 The hype Weekly, llc)

The talent

(Voices, yours and ours)

(Pics, Prose, Paint and Poems)

2 - Us to You 3 - Stop the Presses!

13 - The Blindman and the Bodysmith Pt. 2

The Good Bits

The Beat

(The Reason Most Folks Read Newspapers)

15 - Kriminal Kakuro

(Stories you tell us to write)

4 - Bike Life : Part 3 6 - Diablo III 7 - The Sweatshop Fitness

Cover By: Keegan D. Hudspeth This issue of The Hype Weekly, despite everything being ruined forever, created by:

The Hype

jimbo ivy, sarah sullivan, George Wame Matthews, Keegan D. Hudspeth, julie ivy, jordan mizell, caleb jennison, Lesly Krome, Marcus Jay, ben shields and as always the mysterious hypester.

(100% Right, Most of the Time)

8 - Movies By Marcus 9 - Playoffs, Get Yer Playoffs Here! 12 - Music = Life

Special Thanks to: our amazing families, Auntie Mae’s Parlor, Sisters of sound, on the wildside, Z 96.3, olson’s shoe repair, Action Pact Development, the manhattan arts center, Aggieville Bars, T-LA-Re, wildcat 91.9, strecker nelson, evan tuttle, and the man, Jeff Denney.

The Centerfold

(Your Weekly Calender made of 100% Awesome)

US to You Dear Manhattan, Heading into Memorial Day weekend, we can almost hear everyone heaving a sigh of relief. Spring is a busy time; with graduations, moving, weddings, etc. Take it easy this weekend, Manhattan, and check out our calendar to find out how best to get this done! Our series following Jordan Mizell as he switches from a car-person to a bike-person is winding to a close as Bike Month comes to an end. We’d like to thank the awesome folks over at Big Poppi Bicycles for helping us get Jordan 2 - may 24, 2012 -

outfitted and knowledge-d up as he took to the streets. Next week will bring the last part of his two-wheeled adventure to you. As always, please continue to provide the excellent feedback and ideas you’ve been giving us since we started (almost 9 months!) putting out The Hype. During the summer we’ll still be having our weekly meeting on Mondays at 730pm at Auntie Mae’s Parlor. Thanks, Manhattan! Love, The Hype Weekly

Stop the Presses! FCHS 2011-2012 Honors and Music Program Flint Hills Christian School recognized the accomplishments of its outstanding students at the 20112012 Honors and Music Program at Faith Evangelical Free Church Thursday, May 10. In addition to the many classroom awards given out by secondary teachers, special achievements were recognized. The Honor Society 2012 members were announced. They are Christy Love, Kenan Bitikofer, Hannah DeWitt, Sarah Featherstone, Courtney Cranford, Mary Harner, Amber Seymour, Sarah Dodge, Tyler Eaves, Bo Love, and Joe Catterson. The Strong Heart Award in Athletics is voted on by students and given to those who “best exemplify, on the court or field, the Christian leadership, values, attitude, team spirit, ability and other character traits promoted by FHCS.” This year’s female Junior High award went to Rebecca Hunt and the male award went to Jordan Barnes. The Senior High recipients were Sarah Featherstone and Bo Love. The Strong Spirit Award is voted on by faculty and staff and is given to a sophomore, junior, or senior male and female who “exhibit spiritual leadership in all areas of their school experience.” They must be full-time students and have maintained a GPA of 3.0 or higher. The students are active in extra-curricular activities and church and/or community service. The recipients exhibit a positive Christian witness and show respect for those in authority, as well as for fellow students. The female award this year went to senior Rebecca Sylvester and the male recipient was senior Joe Catterson.

Receiving the Cindy Blanchard Academic Encouragement Award for outstanding volunteer in support of academic programs were Amy Ward for her work in the library and lunchroom and Greg Wilson for his efforts to complete the newly opened science building. The Junior and Senior High Scholars Bowl teams received accolades for their accomplishments this year. Both the Junior High Junior Varsity and Varsity squads placed first in the "Quad League." The JV finished the year with 10 wins and one loss. Varsity finished with 12 wins and five losses for the season.

delivering the Valedictorians’ address. All three thanked parents, teachers, and others who had impacted their lives and talked about the importance of friendship and their faith. Secondary teacher Doug Woods was selected by the seniors as the Commencement speaker. Mixed with humor and seriousness, his speech focused on the importance of keeping oneself grounded in the Word of God, setting Godly goals, and seeing them through with the help of the Lord.

The High School team was only able to compete in four tournaments this year, but took first in two and was in contention in the other two. High school math and science instructor, Merv Bitikofer presented The Outstanding Seniors in Math and Science award to Tyler Eaves and Bo Love. The Kansas State University engineering department allows teachers to pick the outstanding senior or seniors in math and science based on GPA, class standing, and ACT scores. Bitikofer and senior Jonah Ferguson were recognized as a team for their participation as the FHCS representative in the Twentieth Annual High School Programming Contest sponsored by the Computer and Information Sciences Department at Kansas State University. Out of 22 teams in the advanced division, they came in fourth.

5/17/12 Kakuro Solution

From left to right: Joseph Catterson, Sarah Dodge, Jonah Ferguson, Casey Chapel, Bo Love, Dennis Luberus, Tyler Eaves, Katherine Smith, Sarah Brown, Rebecca Sylvester, Amy Proctor For the seniors, the future holds many opportunities. Sarah Brown will be attending Highland Community College in the fall. She is planning to major in Music and possibly History. Joseph Catterson will be attending both Manhattan Christian College and Kansas State University with a dual major in Youth Ministry and Secondary Education. Casey Chapel plans to attend Barton County Community College (Ft. Riley Campus) to complete basic college courses. She is undecided about a major, but is considering social work, counseling, or early childhood education. Sarah Dodge plans to study Kinesiology at MidAmerica Nazarene College next fall. She will also be trying out for the basketball team. After college her goal is to work as a physical therapist at Fort Riley. Tyler Eaves will attend Kansas State University and will major in either Architectural or Civil Engineering. Jonah Ferguson plans on majoring in Aerospace/Aeronautical Engineering at Penn State University in Pennsylvania. Bo Love has been accepted at Kansas State University and plans to major in Civil Engineering.

2012 Honor Society members. From left to right, front to back, they are Christy Love, Mary Harner, Sarah Featherstone, Sarah Dodge, Hannah DeWitt, Tyler Eaves, Bo Love, Joe Catterson, Bitikofer, Courtney Cranford, Amber Seymour.

FCHS 2012 Seniors Graduate to Greatness! It is a mystery of time when something seems to take forever to arrive, but when it is past, you look back and wonder how the time went by so quickly. Graduation is one of those mysteries. For 11 seniors at Flint Hills Christian School, one chapter of their lives came to an end Saturday, May 19. Another chapter is just beginning. The ceremony lasted just an hour, with Tyler Eaves giving the Salutatorian’s address, and Bo Love and Sarah Dodge

Dennis Luberus has been accepted and will attend Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, California. Dennis plans on doing mission, music, and youth ministry work. Amy Proctor will attend the University of Kansas to study Biology and participate in ROTC. She hopes to eventually attend medical school. Katherine Smith plans to attend Highland Community College next year to do her general education classes. She intends to get a degree in either elementary education or nursing. Rebecca Sylvester has been accepted at Southern Nazarene University and will major in Biology/Chemistry. She was selected to be on the 2012-2013 equestrian team. Following graduation at Southern Nazarene, she plans to further her education in the area of veterinary medicine. - may 24, 2012 - 3

The Beat I realize I said last time that I would be spending this week talking about biking with the group. Well unfortunately, life happened. I was unable to get out of my work obligations, as well as had a family thing come up. So until I can join that bike outing with some other like minded 2-wheeled Manhattanites I intend to continue in the same vein of new revaluations. Starting with this segment a closer look at adverse weather. Most importantly, Rain. Up until last week I had managed to avoid water hazards provided by the man in the clouds (props to Carlin). I had planned around the assumption that I was pretty good at knowing when it would rain. Well it’s Kansas. Even the purest of pure-blood Kansans will get that one wrong from time to time. So there I was pedaling home from a long day at work when the light show started. Being a tall person I tend to stray from lightning under a safe assumption that I will be hit first.


BY JORDAN MIZELL 4 - may 24, 2012 -

The Hype Especially if I’m mounted to a metal frame. So needless to say I pedaled faster. The wind picked up which served to hinder me and I was dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. Seems practical for the rain. Certainly, better outfitted than those tiny bulging bike shorts and skin tight tops. Which, lets be honest, wouldn’t be super flattering on me personally. Well that’s where I was mistaken. You see much like running the more clothes you have on the heavier they get. The rain poured down and while I was busy adding water weight to my already hefty frame, I remembered I have electronics in my pockets. Swearing under my breath I checked my phone and headset. Luckily both of those made it home safe with me. Still I have started carrying a small plastic bag in my hoodie pocket for future spring rain installments. Consider this as well, where you may have been able to take a sweeping turn before. The cement is wet now and those turns become hazards. The grassy part that you used to ride through when couples refused to stop holding hands is now soft hungry earth. Its intent will not be to provide a safe route to travel, but instead sprout a thousand tiny mud covered hands grabbing your tires. Keep your guard up just a little bit more than usual in these situations. I won’t stop wearing the things I wear because I really don’t want to start carrying a backpack. However I have a new respect for those tiny shorts and bosom hugging shirts. If for no other reason than wet jeans and continual leg motion is a horrible combination. Moving on to a myth I had heard that was busted just today: You can not get a DUI on a bike. You can get a public intoxication. Which basically means you are a big enough drunken asshole that you actually get the cops involved. I remember someone warning me not to bike home from the bars. This is not true. I had actually been pretty excited about the whole process of going to the bars on a bike. You will always have a place to park. The ride home will leave you for all intents and purposes sober by the time you get home. If you wreck your bike chances are you will only hurt yourself. If you do manage to hit someone else, it’s really more of a terrible inconvenience to those people. Death would only result in veering into oncoming traffic and if you are drunk enough for that. Chances are you won’t be riding at all. So I was at a loss to how this rumor could actually be reality. I was glad to clear that up, I hope you were enlightened as well. So yes there is no such thing as a biking DUI or BUI, as Aaron Apel coined at Big Poppi. So bike to the bars my friends. You will get home sober. You won’t get a ticket for leaving your bike there past 3 in the morning, and best of all no DUI if you are slightly over the legal limit. While it does mean you will get home a little later and bringing girls home from the bars with you is right out of the question. Unless you are riding a tandem bike, which means you probably already have a significant other and shouldn’t be bringing anyone home, you shameful person you. Even cycling to the bar is worth it.

Music for the ride. Unlike a car you don’t really have music to take with you. You can use headphones but the cord becomes a hindrance, as well the inability to properly hear what is going on around you. At first I would just leave my phone playing in my pocket. This way I heard the music and what was going on around me at the same time. So far this is the safest way I have found to bring music with you. No cord, no hassle. Still anytime I got going fast at all, the music would fade away. I ended up getting lucky and finding a pair of bluetooth headphones on for about 30 dollars. I have been using those ever sense. While this means I have to look behind me more often. I have been able to add the joys of music to my trip. I keep the volume low so I could possibly still hear the jarring exclamation of a car horn if need be. As far as the music I listen to, I have been keeping it to rather earthy bluegrass or swinging jazz. If it’s a morning ride and I need to force my mind awake, Nightwish does the trick. Still in all ways be cautious. Stay alert and always be aware of your surroundings. If not with your ears, then with your eyes. Lastly, I’ll say that I have been getting a bit more adventurous with my routes. I like taking my chances with the paved road where our metal beasts of burden, cars, trucks, and eighteen-wheelers, live. As I become just a bit more ballsy and swing my wheels side by side with four-wheeled death-pods, I find I am tempted to pedal faster. I like to keep pace with other drivers even if their vehicle obviously will be moving at a higher speed. This has pushed me to greater feats of physical strength and that hill I mentioned in the first article seems easier by the day. I’m still not comfortable staying on the road and will often venture back to the safety of the sidewalk when I feel I’m about to be overtaken by any number of angry drivers. Believe me when you are on a bike in front of a car, all drivers are if not angry are at least irritated. So we’ll see how that goes and with any luck in the coming week I’ll find my way on a group trek across some bike trail here in Manhattan. Till then stay healthy, stay happy, and stay off the red brick road. - may 24, 2012 - 5

The Beat Let's just get something out of the way before we even start this: Yes. I am a disenchanted, pissed-off, Blizzard ex-fanboi. Gamers' opinions on Blizzard are so frantically scewed in both directions nowadays that I don't even know whether my opinion is the hipster-gamer thing to say or the old-fogey-who-can'tkeep-up-with-the-hipsters thing to say. If there's one thing we've learned about hipsters, though, it's this: hold onto your opinion long enough, and you will eventually be back in style. This is all to say: I'm trying very hard to remain unbiased here. My love for the old Blizzard is begging me to heap praises upon this game. The bitter old man inside, however, is revolted that I would contribute another dime to the beast that is Activision-Blizzard. If you know Diablo at all, then you know generally what to expect: an RPG hack-and-slash set in extremely dark and morbid fantasy world filled with more demons than you can shake a two-handed battle-axe at. Your class choices for this third installment of the series are more varied than your typical warrior/ rogue/mage, your five choices being: Barbarian, Witch Doctor, Monk, Demon Hunter, and the everpresent Wizard. Yes, instances are still randomly generated, and yes you are required to be connected to the servers full-time to play (if you have a problem with this, well... welcome to not-twelve-years-ago). Blizzard's cinematic history is so well known that they have many of us wondering why they don't just make movies, and they certainly don't disappoint in Diablo III. There I was, glumly ravaging through a mass of walking corpses, trying to tell the bitter old man inside that it's ok to admit you're enjoying a Blizzard game, when suddenly I complete Act I and BLAM. IN-GAME CINEMATIC. WALL RUMBLING GOTHIC MUSIC. GLORIOUS FANTASY EPICNESS (capslock entirely necessary). I don't want to throw any spoilers here, but Blizzard is still leading the pack in this department. I can't say quite as much about the in-game dialogue. True, it's not Cata-level hideously bad. It's even somewhat nostalgic- a throwback to a simpler time in our brief gaming history. If you're pining for the days before even Master Chief walked this digital earth, the style of dialogue may even be the breath of fresh-air you're needing as you drown in a sea of "Call of Duty" titles. Your choices of skills are well-varied. My Demon Hunter has six active abilities at any given time, and each of these six ability slots has a unique set of four abilities you can place in said slots- that's 24 abilities you can use to customize your character exactly to your playstyle. Each of these 24 abilities has 5 unique runes that will alter the way those abili-

6 - may 24, 2012 -

ties function. Those of us skilled in the multiplicative arts will already know that the total is 120 different skills I can choose from. Additionally, I can choose three different passive skills out of set of 15 choices. ...And those are just my options on my Demon Hunter. Gonna be honest here, I haven't even had

time to look at the other classes thoroughly. Unfortunately, I'm finding that personally, all these options don't amount to much. I try out new skills as they become available, but I usually don't stick with them long. I've found a combination of skills that works with my playstyle; I don't like sacrificing my demon-shredding efficiency just because some skill is new. I stick with what works. Why switch back to throwing-knives simply because they now have a bleed effect when I would have to sacrifice a skill that turns my crossbow into a machine-

gun? Perhaps once I'm playing through inferno mode with the big boys, I'll find that switching skills to meet the demands of a particular encounter is crucial. I truly hope this happens- for now that's not the case. The standard difficulty mode isn't particularly challenging, though I'm told the game gets pretty heavy. Even at that- while the game may seem easy (for now), it's not a particularly boring face-roll either (Huntards beware). Most encounters in the game require at least a small amount of care. If you charge in with crossbow blazing like some medieval rambo- heedless of the threats around you- you are likely to be joining the ranks of the undead fairly quickly. There is one last issue I want to address- The real money auction house. While this feature has not yet been added to the game (expect it early June), I'm already not a fan. Any game company that takes itself seriously must struggle with a basic tenant of online gaming: Money cannot buy power, lest the game's integrity be ruined. The more consciencious studios (read: Riot Games) effortlessly dance the microtransaction dance, able to make gobs of cash without giving Uncle Pennybags any significant advantage. Then there are the game companies invading the margins of your facebook page. I'm hesitant to even classify these corporate money-engines as games. If you dissect the gameplay, you're likely to find that the depth of your strategic abilities mean nothing compared to the depth of your wallet. This is what disturbs me about the concept of Diablo III's auction house. By embracing this approach, Blizzard markets itself as one of the wolves, gamers-be-damned. Convincing rebuttal arguments abound: "If Blizzard didn't do it, Ebay would." ...As was proven in Diablo II. "I'm looking forward to making cash off a video game." ...As am I, if it can consistently be done. "There is no PVP mode, so what does it matter if some guy buys his gear?" ...true. "You're crusty, stuck in the past, and aren't willing to adapt." ...NO U. Is Diablo III worth your money? If you're even considering this question, the answer is yes. The game is fun to play and a welcome change of pace from all the other cookie cutter games out there. Artistically, the game is amazing, and likely worth the purchase for the cinematics alone (if a little site called YouTube didn't exist, anyway). If you think you might like Diablo III, then you won't be disappointed.

The Beat

Curse you Kelly! This was the general consensus of the four individuals gathered at the dojo last Monday. These thoughts were not directed at any particular person; no, the “Kelly” is actually the name of a particular work-out these four people were doing. This workout consisted of running 400 meters, doing 30 box jumps (24 inches high), and doing 30 kettle bell swings (20 pound weight). Well hey, that doesn’t sound so bad, right? Only, after doing the whole set for five rounds, it is kind of exhausting, though in a very good way, as the members of Sweatshop Fitness have come to find out. Sweatshop Fitness is a conglomeration of fitness routines that are modeled off of a variety of sources. Cross-Fit®, Insanity®, P90x®, Barstarzz®, Pilates®, and Zuzana Light® are all sources of reference for the creation of each new Sweatshop workout. At the core of Sweatshop Fitness are body weight, plyometrics, and martial arts. With the goal to never see the same workout twice, Sweatshop Fitness stays very creative in designing their workouts. So how did Sweatshop Fitness come to be? Honestly, it originated from Manhattan resident Caleb Hallauer’s New Year’s resolution. Sick and tired of continually getting his butt kicked during sparring by Master Moore (of Sun Yi’s Academy of Traditional Tae Kwon Do), Caleb resolved to begin the “workout of the day” or WoD as he called it. Caleb wanted a workout to improve his sparring skills and general fitness level while incorporating weight training and muscle development. Caleb researched various types of workouts and plyometric formats and began posting to his Facebook news feed each WoD, which he performed at Sun Yi’s Academy Lower your dojo after work each day. One day it was 50 burpees, squats, sit-ups, and stress! lunges, for five rounds. Another day it was walking/jogging/sprinting intervals, 20 pull-ups, and three minutes of improve jump-rope for three rounds. But each your mood! day was different and Caleb remained determined and motivated. Others picked up on this. Caleb began receiving questions regarding his Clear your workouts of the day and requests to head! join in on the workout. Soon Caleb was working out at the dojo with upwards of eight or more friends and family doing his workouts of the day. At this point, he and his wife, Christine Hallauer came up with the idea of Sweatshop Fitness. “The Sweatshop” is a group that provides a positive, goal oriented mondays: $1.50 fitness environment through unique, wells constantly evolving workouts. With this goal always in mind, Caleb and Christine work together to develop workouts that challenges the members of Sweatshop Fitness and helps them to grow stronger with every workout. No longer simply a brief workout of the day, Sweatshop Fitness is held

Help, I’m working-out under duress!

by Lesly Krome

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every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday for an Sidebar: intense and extensive workout. The focus on The Sweatshop Fitness Monday is muscle development and the workout features a 60 to 90 Location: minute training session. Sun Yi’s Academy These workouts are designed to work the entire 1650 Hayes Dr. body, build core strength through fundamental Manhattan, KS 66502 exercises, and improve overall muscle tone and strength. On Wednesday, Class times: a very intense 20 to 30 Monday: 4:30 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. minute timed-format workout is held that is Wednesday: 4:30 p.m. – 7 p.m. physically challenging Saturday: 11:00 a.m. – 12 p.m. and hosts a wide variety of exercises. Saturday is a structured, 60 minute class that features benchmarks and allows for realistic goal-setting, training, and personal development. So who exactly is welcome at Sweatshop Fitness? Anyone that is motivated to do a legit work out and get a little (or a lot) sweaty while doing it. Since Sweatshop Fitness is held at Sun Yi’s Academy of Traditional Tae Kwon Do, active students of Sun Yi’s Academy and parents of minor students are welcome to participate for free, as they pay for membership to the dojo. However, you do not have to be in Tae Kwon Do to be able to benefit from Sweatshop Fitness. Individuals outside of the academy are also welcome to come at a rate of $10/week, which includes up to 3 Sweatshop classes -- the first week is free! Also bear in mind that the purpose of charging a fee is not to make a profit, but to make each workout better than the last. All money collected is put towards equipment that allows for greater variety in future exercises. The Sweatshop Fitness is a wonderful way to get a great workout in, develop muscles, lose weight, improve stamina and just have better overall general fitness. All are welcome and it does not matter what your skill level. Caleb and Christine will help you achieve your goals, challenge yourself, and most of all, leave with a heck of a sweat going.

616 n. 12th street - may 24, 2012 - 7

The Hype


Reviews by Marcus Jay

Stars: Steve Buscemi, Catherine Keener, Dermot Mulroney, James LeGros and Peter Dinklage. Written and Directed by Tom DiCillo There have been plenty of movies about making movies but none of them have approached the subject with as much wit, humor and style as Living in Oblivion. Released in 1995, the film is a follow up to director Tom DiCillo’s ill-fated first feature Johnny Suede, which starred Brad Pitt as a rockabilly hero with a giant pompadour. Johnny Suede would go on to become a cult favorite, but at the time; DiCillo was still reeling from what he considered a difficult experience. Those freshman scars are on display in every frame of Living in Oblivion. The film stars Steve Buscemi as indie film director Nick Reve. Reve is struggling through the shooting of three pivotal scenes and nearly every aspect becomes a tribulation of some sort. First, he has to deal with uncertain and insecure actress Nicole (Catherine Keener) for whom he is harboring a crush. Next, Reve must contend with the whims of A-list star Chad Palomino (James LeGros) who constantly tries to re-frame shots so that he is in the foreground. Palomino says at one point “I only did this movie because I heard you were friends with Quentin Tarantino.” Added to that, the director of photography and the assistant director are going through a break-up and most of the crew is completely indifferent to Nick’s vision. Living in Oblivion knows so much about the act of film-making and the desire to create something lasting and special. Like a child, a film is a delicate and precious thing for it’s creators, and like a child it is sent out into the world with the hope that others will treat it as lovingly as you would treat it. But, as with a child, not everyone is going to love and revere what you have created as much as you would. Tom DiCillo directs the film with the improvisational flair of a great jazz musician. The film bobs and weaves in all the right places and has time for little moments of solo beauty. One of the coolest things about Living in Oblivion is that the film within a film is shot in color while the “real life” scenes are shot in black and white. This is then flipped and reversed in several pivotal scenes that humorously mimic the scenes of the film within a film. Steve Buscemi is always excellent and here, he disappears into the role of the frustrated director. Catherine Keener is great as young actress Nicol, who is talented but insecure and assumes she will soon be flipping burgers instead of walking red carpets. As the pretentious director of photography Wolf, Dermot Mulroney is wonderful. Like the others involved, Wolf is talented, but his ego and insecurities get in the way. Game of Thrones fans will enjoy Peter Dinklage as dwarf actor who doesn’t take kindly to a few of Nick’s directorial choices. The saying goes that no good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough. That holds true for Living in Oblivion. It clocks out at the ninety-minute mark but could have gone on for longer without any complaint. But, it is ninety of the best minutes you’ll ever spend at the movies.

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Stars: Katherine Heigl, Jason O’Mara, John Leguizamo and Debbie Reynolds. Written by: Liz Brixius, Stacy Sherman and Karen Ray Based on the novel by Janet Evanovich Directed by Julie Ann Robinson Roger Ebert defined a “meet cute” as a scene in which “somebody runs into somebody else, and then something falls, and the two people begin to talk, and their eyes meet and they realize they are attracted to one another.” One for the Money is essentially and extended meet cute in which stars Katherine Heigl and Jason O’ Mara continually grate against one another until sparks develop. Heigl stars as Stephanie Plum, a down and out divorceé who has just lost her job as a Macy’s lingerie clerk and had her car repossessed. In desperation, she takes a bounty-hunting job at a family member’s bail bond office. Plum finagles her way into a big bounty in the form of Joe Morelli (O’Mara), a cop wanted for murder and Plum’s former high school crush. While on Morelli’s trail, Stephanie is taught the basics of the trade by Ranger (Daniel Sunjata) a seasoned pro that Plum describes as being “Michaelangelo’s David dipped in caramel.” Plum tracks down Morelli rather easily, while navigating the tough streets of Trenton, N.J. along the way, but is outmatched by Morelli’s cop savvy and her own attraction to him. Stephanie proves herself a resourceful and tenacious investigator, however, and is soon unraveling the mystery behind the crime Morelli is alleged to have committed. Katherine Heigl proves herself to be more than just rom-com matinee fluff as Stephanie Plum. Her Plum is insecure, eats like a pig and has no problem getting her hands dirty or thinking on her feet. Jason O’Mara plays the rogueish Joe Morelli with just enough menace to make you think he could have possibly committed the crime in question. John Leguizamo and Sherri Shepherd also stand out as a boxing coach and a hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold respectively. Overall, this isn’t a great movie, and would have benefited from a more experienced director and a bit more of Janet Evanovich’s comic foibles being given to Heigl’s Plum character. As it stands, this is a fun if forgettable hour and a half at the movies.

The Hype

Playoffs! Get yer playoffs here! Story and predictions by George Wame Matthews This years NBA playoffs just keeps getting weirder and weirder. About the only constancy we have seen thus far is the unquestioned dominance displayed by the San Antonio Spurs. As of this writing, in the east, Boston and Philadelphia are tied at two games apiece, as are the Miami and Indiana. In the west, Oklahoma has been fighting a tough battle with the Lakers. Eastern Conference: #4 Boston Celtics vs. #8 Philadelphia 76ers Looks like I was right to waffle on this one; through the first four games, Philly and Boston have been going back and forth with each team winning one game on each others home court. I can’t believe I am about to say this, but Philly should win this series, they are younger, hungrier, and have been generally out playing the Celtics. I (and most every other actual sports writer) have been doubting whether or not the Celtics have enough left in the tank to win another championship, and just when you think they are down, they find a way to come roaring back. Philadelphia, on the other hand, is being lead by their masterful head coach Doug Collins who has found a way to reinvigorate their veterans and shape their young players into a competitive team that few outside of southern Pennsylvania could have predicted. Prediction: Philadelphia in 7 (*insert affectionate comment to Jess here*) #1 Miami Heat vs. #3 Indiana Pacers Remember last week when I said it would take an injury to one of Miami’s big three to derail them in this series? Well wouldn’t you know, Chris Bosh suffered a strained abdominal muscle in game one of this series, while the Heat were able to win that game, they would go on to drop the next two games to Indiana. There is still no timetable set for Bosh to return. Many people assumed the Heat were done, but somehow LeBron James and Dwyane Wade were able to singlehandedly gut the Heat to a win in game four by combining for 70 points. With the series tied at two games a piece, it is beginning to look like the upstart Pacers are losing their cool. Danny Granger, Indiana’s star shooting forward, has already drawn three technical fouls for jawing with James, four more and he’ll earn himself a one game suspension. I still think, however, that the Pacers will pull it together and find a way to knock off the Heat. Prediction: Indiana in 7

Bryant is as sharp as he’s ever been, but the rest of his supporting cast just isn’t there. Andrew Bynum is talented, but inconsistent, Pau Gasol isn’t the player he once was, and Metta World Peace is barely keeping it together. Oklahoma is being led by Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and James Harden, all of whom along with Serge Ibaka are playing at an incredibly high level. I am looking forward to seeing them square off with my beloved Spurs in the next round. Prediction: Thunder in 5 #1 San Antonio Spurs vs. #5 Los Angeles Clippers The San Antonio Spurs won their 18th consecutive game on Sunday; they have not lost a basketball game since April 11th, including sweeping the first two rounds of the playoffs. The Spurs have been dominating their opponents in the playoffs; winning all but their closeout games by double digits. This series with the Clippers is notable more for what might have been than for what we actually saw. Chris Paul and Blake Griffin were battling nagging injuries, which prevented them from playing to their full potential. Sunday’s game was the first game in which the two of them were able to put together complete games, and yet the Spurs were still able to defeat them. Spurs fans will complain about that lack of coverage their team has been getting in the national media, in fact, about the only coverage you’ll see on the Spurs and their incredible run is talk about the lack of coverage the Spurs have been getting. If the Spurs keep playing like they have been, however, then they will win their fifth championship, and sports writers will have no choice but to talk about them. Prediction: San Antonio wins its 5th championship (Go Spurs Go!)

Western Conference #3 Los Angeles Lakers vs. #2 Oklahoma City Thunder Oklahoma has been playing incredible basketball; it is entirely possible that by the time you read this, they will have closed out the Lakers. Oklahoma is playing with the passion of an up and coming team that is ready to take the next step. The Lakers, on the other hand, just don’t have the weapons necessary to hold of the Thunder. This is not the turn of the century Lakers team anymore, Kobe - may 24, 2012 - 9

Thursday 24 12:00PM




Manhattan Community Rock-N-Roll up Your Sleeves Blood Drive @Pottorf Hall in Cico Park Free T-shirts to everyone who comes in to donate!!! 1-800-RED-CROSS or - Walk-in’s Welcome. Till 6pm. Taste of Home Cooking School @McCain Auditorium Sunny 102.5 and Oldies 98.5 present Taste of Home Cooking School in Manhattan! Drop your whisks, grab your friends, and join us for a night of fun at the Taste of Home Cooking School show, presented live at McCain Auditorium on the K-State Campus in Manhattan, KS on Thursday, May 24, 2012. During this interactive event, you’ll watch top culinary expert, Jaime Dunn, demonstrate ten new recipes you can easily recreate in your home. Armed with new culinary tips and techniques, you’ll be sure to impress your family and friends with these sophisticated yet surprisingly easy-to-make dishes. Not only will you leave the event with new recipe ideas, you’ll also go home with a valuable gift bag. Cost starts at $10. River Trails Beginner Mountain Bike Ride @ Big Poppi Bicycle Distance: 1-2 laps/4-8 miles. At this ride you will have the opportunity to learn how to ride on off road trails and trail etiquette. A couple of the concepts you will learn are how to ride over a log or other obstacle, and how to position your body when riding downhill.


3A High School State Softball @Twin Oaks Complex The 8 regional winners of girls high school 3A softball, battling it out to be the state champions! Girls games are played on two fields at Twin Oaks, and do not start until Friday evening.


Manhattan Community Rock-N-Roll up Your Sleeves Blood Drive @Pottorf Hall in Cico Park Free T-shirts to everyone who comes in to donate!!! 1-800-RED-CROSS or - Walk-in’s Welcome. Till 1pm.



Zoofari Tails at the Manhattan Public Library @Manhattan Public Library Slither into reading with Sunset Zoo and the Manhattan Public Library! On the last Friday of every month Sunset Zoo will bring to life an animal themed children’s story. All storytimes will include unique animal artifacts and a book giveaway by Claflin Books & Copies. Some storytimes will feature a live animal and others may include a simple craft project. Attend at least six Zoofari Tails throughout the year to be entered into a drawing for a family membership to Friends of Sunset Zoo. Registration is not required, just join us at the library! Sunset Friday Night Lights River Trails MTB Ride @Big Poppi Bicycles Distance: 1-3 laps/6-18 miles. Why not join us for a ride on your mountain bike at night? REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR LIGHTS!!!


Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy @ Auntie Mae’s Parlor

Gold Orchestra Concert @City Park Band Shell The Gold Orchestra comprises 73 students in grades 5-10. They are giving this concert in preparation for their tour of Memphis and Nashville May 29—June 3rd.

Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy is a high-energy, acoustic brass ‘n’ grass outfit based out of Wichita, KS. The band, whose sound has been described as a stagecoach in overdrive, has brought their eclectic blend of punk, bluegrass, dixieland, and circus tunes to packed bars, basements, and festivals across the United States since 2007.

Friday 25 ALL DAY

3A High School State Baseball @Tointon Family Stadium The 8 regional winners in 3A high schools across Kansas battle it out for the state championship!

Monday Through Friday

Ongoing Attractions


Exhibit: Naturally Refined: Sustainable Fiber @William T. Kemper Art Gallery, K-State Student Union Exhibit features Sun’s master of science design research project in apparel and textiles. Sponsored by the Union Program Council.


Lincoln: The Constitution and the Civil War @ Hale Library Building Hours A traveling exhibition based on one of the same name developed by the National Constitution Center. It aims to encourage visitors to see the Civil War as a test of the U.S. Constitution; to consider Lincoln’s options through his own eyes; and to reflect on the significance of that great 19th-century conflict for Americans today.

10 - may 24, 2012 -

Weekend Hours May Vary


2012: Faith, Magic, Love & Death @Strecker-Nelson Art Gallery Cationary Tales of the End of Times - An Extraordinary Travelling Art Exhibit. Artists include: Stephanie Hunder, Marc Berghaus, Marko Fields, Oscar Gillespie, Barbara Waterman Peters, Richard Notkin. Other Exhibitors include Jerry Moon, Margie Kuhn, Nina Irwin, Yoshiro Ikeda, Patricia Barry Levy and Bo Bedilion.


Bangladesh: Colours of Culture and Context @ Manhattan Arts Center Experience Bangladesh through the lens of the Lewis sisters. Katrina and Summer spent a year (2009-10) in Bangladesh working at a new liberal arts women’s university. They have framed 31 photographs and written a narrative relating their experience with each image.


Mike Borgia & The Problems @O’Malley’s Patio Hit the Patio out back of O’Malley’s for great music and great drinks all summer long!

Saturday 26 ALL DAY

3A High School State Baseball @Tointon Family Stadium The 8 regional winners in 3A high schools across Kansas battle it out for the state championship!


3A High School State Softball @Twin Oaks Complex The 8 regional winners of girls high school 3A softball, battling it out to be the state champions! Girls games are played on two fields at Twin Oaks, and do not start until Friday evening.


Downtown Saturday Farmers' Market of Manhattan


Linear Trail Historical Lifestyle Ride @Big Poppi Bicycles Distance: 5-10 miles. Join Big Poppi Bicycle Co and the Flint Hills Area Bike Club each Saturday morning for a casual ride on Linear Trail while learning interesting historical facts about Manhattan, KS.


@5th & Humbolt These vendors come from all over Northeast Kansas bringin fresh produce, meat, eggs, crafts, jams & jellies, fresh baked bread, pies, cookies, and sweets.

Opening Day for the City Pool @City Park Swimming Pool All pools will open for the 2012 Swim Season on Saturday, May 26, 2012. Pool hours for all pools are 1:00 p.m. - 8:45 p.m., 7 days a week, weather dependent. The Territorial Troubadours @Hale Library, second floor Listen to Kansas history through song by The Territorial Troubadours while you visit the traveling exhibition, Lincoln: The Constitution and the Civil War.


Memorial Day Ceremony @5181 Wildcat Creek Road The Kansas Veterans’ Cemetery at Fort Riley, in Manhattan, will participate in our annual Memorial Day ceremony on Monday, May 28, 2012 at 11:00am. The guest speaker will be COL Michael M. Neer (RET).


Around the World Dinner @Bluestem Bistro Try something new and tasty! This week is food from Kenya!


Monday Night Lights River Trail MTB Ride @Big Poppi Bicycles Distance: 1-3 laps/6-18 miles. Looking for something really exciting to do to start off your week? Tired of Monday Night Football? Why not join us for a ride on your mountain bike at night? REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR LIGHTS!!! Don’t have a light? Demo one of our high quality lights from the shop for FREE!!


The Hype Weekly Pitch Meeting @Auntie Mae’s Parlor Come give us your ideas, your concerns, your comments and questions! If you want to write, shoot, draw or work for The Hype, this is step one.

Tuesday 29 9:00AM

Sing-A-Long with Mr. Steve @Bluestem Bistro If you want to bring your kids in for a fun activity, come join us in our meeting room as our manager, Mr. Steve, plays silly kid’s songs!


Mountain/Cyclocross Bikes Gravel Ride @ Big Poppi Bicycle Distance: 15-30 miles. Come join us for a gravel ride as we enjoy the Flint Hills and an incredible Kansas sunset. Bring your headlights and taillights just in case. Don't have a light? Demo one of our high quality lights from the shop for FREE!!


Urban Street Ride @ Big Poppi Bicycles For any bike with 2 wheels and no motor; Come on out to enhance your technical riding skills .

Sunday 27 11:00AM

Sunday Jazz Brunch @Bluestem Bistro Live every Sunday morning during brunch.


Pagan Coffee (EVERY SUNDAY) @ Bluestem Bistro Pagan? Pagan-curious? Pagan-friendly? Come join Manhattan’s longest running pan-pagan social group.


Dr. Goins Jazz @Della Voce Live jazz and fine dining every Sunday evening.

Monday 28 9:30AM

Manhattan Municipal Band Memorial Day Concerts @Sunset Cemetary On Memorial Day, the band will be playing at 9:30 am in Sunset Cemetery, and at 7:30 pm in the Larry Norvell Band Shell. The Municipal Band plays Tuesday evenings from June 5th- July 17 in the Larry Norvell Band Shell in City Park at 7:30 pm. Additionally, they will perform at 6:30 in Cico Park on the 4th of July.

wednesday 30 4:00PM

Downtown Wednesday Farmers’ Market of Manhattan @CICO Park These vendors come from all over Northeast Kansas bringing fresh produce, meat, eggs, crafts, jams & jellies, fresh baked bread, pies, cookies, and sweets.


Women's-Mountain/Cyclocross Bikes Gravel Ride @ Big Poppi Bicycle Distance: 10-15 miles. Calling all LADIES! Come join us for a gravel ride as we enjoy the Flint Hills and an incredible Kansas sunset. Bring your headlights and taillights just in case. Don't have a light? Demo one of our high quality lights from the shop for FREE!! River Trails Mountain Bike Ride @ Big Poppi Bicycle Distance: 2-3 laps/12-18 miles. The pace of this ride will be medium/fast. As usual, all riding abilities are welcome on any ride at Big Poppi’s, but if you are ready for more of a challenge, come on out!!! - may 24, 2012 - 11

The Hype Weekly and Manhattan Music Coalition Present

Sponsored By:

Music = Life Reviews, news and stories from the musical minds of MHK.

Adam Lambert: Trespassing (19/RCA)

w/ elds Ben Shi

Fun: Some Nights (Fueled By Ramen)

e l s u s w p e i ca rev

Easily the best contestant ever on the now-irrelevant singing competition American Idol, Adam Lambert is also the last one that will matter. He seemed at risk of getting swallowed up by his record label and forgettable pop songs on his first release, For Your Entertainment, an acceptable but not good enough debut. Some of his fans (I'm one of them) will still crave a straight-up glam rock release after hearing this, and Lambert's stunning vocal range could be better showcased, but this sleazy pop album is surprisingly great. The first three tracks are brilliant, especially the title song, and closer “Outlaws of Love” is his best moment since “Mad World.” The other songs are almost as good, and create their own reality where everyone wears shoulder pads and glitter, and all love is naked love. “Serious music fans” can have fun listening to their Fleet Foxes records and stroke their beards in the corner. This is one of the best pop albums of the year.

I am being sincere when I say I prefer the rendition of “We Are Young” performed at the Mr. MHS pageant this year to the one on this album. The worst “indie” band yet to break through into the mainstream has to offer one sedating catchy radio hit and nine other unlistenable cuts on this unforgiveable piece of shlop. The men, no, boys in this group try so hard at appearing young and naïve that one has to wonder if they were ever allowed to just be kids, and also why their inner misery translates into such hollowness. I should stop though, because trying to analyze this music is almost as big a waste as listening to it.


Ben Shields is a delightfully honest young man who you can feel free to scream at for crucifying your favorite band and making you cry a lot via


An artist is defined as a person whose creative works displays skill and craftsmanship with imagination, ingenuity, and beauty”. Original, innovative, creative are just a few words that describes the music of Ray L. Baker. For more than 3 decades, the professional performances of Ray L. Baker on the alto, tenor, soprano saxophones and piano have been entertaining and motivating to all listening ears. Ray’s heart’s desire is to touch people’s lives through music. Originally from Manhattan-- (Kansas that is), Ray began his music career playing the piano and clarinet in grade school. By the 8th grade Ray change over to the tenor saxophone and began to play in local bands. His studies of music led him to Jr. College and later to Wichita State University, where he studied Music and Business Administration. While in college Ray formed and played with many different groups and begin writing music. He also accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and dedi-

12 - may 24, 2012 -

Jazz At The Bistro

The Ray Baker Project @ Bluestem Bistro

Saturday, May 26 8:00 pm-10:00 pm Bluestem Bistro 1219 Moro Street Manhattan, Kansas

Ray Baker Project

Featuring Vocalist Pamela Baker

RLB Productions. 2804 Deerborn Wylie, Texas 75098 972-461-0856

cated his talents to God, In1983. Ray married Pamela, a beautiful and sweet lady and in 1986 they moved to Dallas, Texas, where Ray attended Christ For The Nations Institute and graduated in 1988. Ray owns and operates a music production company, RLB Productions and produces several concert series, such as Jazz OnStage Concert, The Joy To The World Jazz Concert, and The Jazz Impact Concert. Ray is more than a musician, he is an artist. The versatility that he expresses through his music incorporates the various forms of jazz such as funk, swing, bebop, Latin jazz. Ray performs as a soloist with backup tracks or with a 5-8-piece group. Ray’s talents also include songwriting, arranging, orchestrating, and producing. Ray has performed concerts all over the United States, Mexico, and Jamaica. His extensive collections of original music adds an exciting appeal to all concerts.

The Talent

The Blindman and the Bodysmith Story by Jimbo Ivy Part 2 Illustration by Keegan D. Hudspeth Again, a rush of fear enveloped Ben. This is a trick, his mind screamed. As if he had screamed it aloud, her eyes fell to the pavement. “You don’t believe any of this do you? You think I’m here to kill you.” Ben managed a curt nod. She sighed. “I am, that’s the strange thing,” Her eyes leapt up to his and then back down to his feet. “Not literally, but if I know you at all, taking you back would be doing just that. Zenza…Singe sent me to get you. I volunteered.” Ben was up off the ground now, not sure if he should even move. The god’s emerald eyes held no violence, but Ben couldn’t bring himself to even trust her words, let alone her intentions. His mind was scrambling. “This isn’t a trick,” The god said, as she stooped to add more red to the rusty puddle at her feet. “I know you think that, but it’s not.” “Then why are you here?” Ben said, cautious of his tone. She straightened, drying her hands on the top of her thighs. “I need you.” Ben waited, as she stared at him for a moment, trying to find her words. “I need you because you’re the only one that can free me from him.” “Singe,” Ben hadn’t said that name for many years. “You hate him,” The god said, her face tight and serious for the first time. “I’m sure you know why, being what you are.” “Yes, I know about, everything,” The god said quietly. “Everything?” Ben said, disbelief obvious. “Yes,” The god said. “I was his latest incarnation of Lauralie.” Ben shook his head. “How did you awake?” The god frowned. “I can’t really say. If I interpreted Singe’s lies correctly, the original Lauralie also betrayed him, so I guess it’s only history repeating itself for me to do this. One day I was his, mind and body, and then I realized we were wrong. He was wrong,” The god stared into the pipes for a moment. “That’s when I decided to come for you.”



 

  

“I thought Singe sent you,” Ben said, still suspicious. “He did, but it took some prompting and a little luck. He had given up on you. People think you’re dead up there, and down here, well, the smart ones know to keep their mouths shut. The not so smart ones, that’s where all the rumors and legends come from.” “How’d you find me this time? King?” “Yes,” The god said, smiling. “He thought he could trade your location for a better deal with Zenza. He came to me, I went to Singe.” “Why you and not Singe directly?” The god smiled wryly. “King and I had…a previous encounter. He had mentioned someone down here was doing advanced augments. When I awoke, I just let him know who I was looking for and what Zenza would give him if he found you. It took him a few months, but greed is always the best lash with his type.” Ben seemed to be considering something. After a long thoughtful pause, he shook his head. “So you’re his newest Lauralie? I had hoped he would give up on resurrecting her after I left.” “No,” The god, eyes seeing something other than the Bodysmith’s rugged face. “Do you remember?” Ben said, softly. The god seemed to shrug, but then she froze, some powerful memory griping her. Ben waited as he watched it play across her face. “I’m sorry,” He said, after her eyes had come back to the waking world. The god nodded. “I knew the first…” Ben began, but decided against continuing. “The original?” The god said quickly. Ben wondered at her sudden burst of excitement. “No, not the original. I’m not ancient, just old.” The god smiled, politely, waiting for him to continue. When he saw she needed to hear something, Ben sighed and continued. “The memory core experiments are what finally made me see Singe for what he was. That’s when I left. I took as much of the data and…experiments as I could.” “You freed them?” Ben nodded. “They were already free of him. I just helped them escape.” The god didn’t say anything, clearly not satiated. “And I knew his original Lauralie,” Ben eyes grew dark. “She was only a child, but her mind was…was far older. He loved her like she was the real deal, and she remembered everything…ascension, her betrayal, everything but what Singe really wanted.” “What?” Ben sighed. “The only reason he kept trying to create a copy of her was in order to find the real Lauralie. When she left Singe, she sealed herself off somewhere in the Acension network. Since she had the same safeguards that Singe had, he naturally assumed she survived the uprising and destruction of the system.” “But the only and most obvious flaw in his idea, which I had pointed out to him on many occasions, was that the copies were created from another living soul augmented with his memories of the original.” “And if he didn’t know where she was, how was the copy supposed to know,” The god said, shaking her head. “Right.” The memories of many deaths were rising up now. “That’s where his magic came in. He said that the Master would give him the gift of that knowledge in exchange for his work to restore the Acension system. That rationale was my cue to leave.” - may 24, 2012 - 13

The Talent The god couldn’t help but smile. It was hard not to like this man, no matter what he had helped to create. “So,” Ben said, looking directly at her for the first time since had started his exposition. “What do you need me to do?” “I’m sure you already know,” The god said, a tinge of fear. Ben nodded. “He can manifest in your mind.” The god nodded this time. Ben seemed to think for a long time. “I’m not sure how he’s doing that, unless he’s attached some sort of peripheral device to your brain. We had been trying to perfect it when I left, but I had never gotten anywhere.” The god was staring at the ground in front of Ben’s feet. “Do you know how it works?” The god nodded, a child before an adult. “I’m a full augment,” She said, quietly. Ben frowned. “I know, but there must be-“ He stopped speaking as he realized what she meant by the word “full”. “That’s…I never was able to do that,” Ben said, mind scrambling. “How?” The god shrugged. “Can you shift into systems?” Ben said, eyes still wide in shock. “Yes.” “You can leave your…body?” “Yes.” Ben stood shaking his head and muttering for several minutes. “No organics at all?” The god shook her head. “Are you sure you’re not-” But Ben stopped before he said it. “AI?” The god whispered, finally looking into his eyes. “I don’t know. I’m not sure that I would know either way.” Ben impulsively reached out and put a calloused hand on the god’s shoulder. “I’m sure.” The god closed her eyes. Neither of them realized they had taken the other into their arms until it was done. Ben sighed as she laid her head on his broad chest. This was uncharted territory for both of them. But who else would understand? Who else could trust and be trusted by them? Abruptly, the god stepped back, not regretting the embrace, but wondering at the consequences. No one but Singe had ever touched her like this. “I have an idea of how I can help you,” Ben said, his tone cautious but optimistic. “But it’s going to take some time…and you’ll be completely vulnerable while I’m doing it. Can you allow that?” The god smiled, “Yes, I can…now.” Ben gestured towards the rusty door to his shop. The shop of Ben Bodysmith was a legendary place. It did not disappoint the god as she followed Ben through the maze of shelving and scrap piles that divided the open warehouse into rooms. The room beyond the entry was obviously the living area. A large cot sat in the corner, but from the thick layer of reddish dust on its surface, she surmised it seemed hadn’t been used for a while. Data tablets lay scattered across a table beside the cot, spilling over onto the floor. There was no hint of decoration or personalization. Beyond that was a large operating table, state of the art, even by A level terms. It was lit from above by five massive lights, each attached to an articulated arm that sprang from the ceiling. It gave the impression of some sort of aquatic monster reaching down to snatch up its prey. Along the walls were banks of computers, manufacturing benches, and to one side of the table was a strange sight. “An anvil?” Ben looked pleased that she knew what it was. “Yes, a family heirloom of sorts. Supposedly I come from a line of renowned blacksmiths. They changed with the times, of course.” “And so have you it seems,” The god said, letting her hand rest on top of a strange black computer case in one of the corners. “Is this what I think it is?” Ben nodded, his face stony. “Yes, that is an Ascension drive.” “Do you dabble in dreams as well as machines, then?” “No, that was the prototype I discovered Singe to be developing. I took it when I left, in hopes that it might slow his progress.” “It didn’t,” The god said, taking a deep breath. “There are over two hundred thousand of these now, scattered throughout the City.” Ben shook his head, “He’s still trying to assimilate the world then.”

14 - may 24, 2012 -

“It’s working too,” She said, voice neutral. “Before he started having problems with the people down below he was well on his way. Over a million have already crossed over. More want to, but he needs them here to do his work.” “That seems familiar,” Ben growled. “Slaves to toil in the real world while the chosen bask in their digital heaven.” “Is there someone else here?” The god asked, abruptly, scanning the rafters. Ben said nothing for a moment, and then smiled. “Why?” The god frowned as she whirled to look behind her. “I don’t know…I scanned when we came in, but I keep…feeling something. Like eyes.” “That’s ironic,” Ben said, a strange mix of guilt and humor in his words. “What?” The god said, giving him her full attention. “What do you mean?” Ben raised his chin, indicating that she should look behind her. She turned, casually, but leapt backward and fell into a fighting stance when she found a strange form standing only inches behind her. “It’s disconcerting to think you’re in control and then find you were at someone’s mercy the entire time, isn’t it?” Ben said, grinning with pride and mental revenge. “What the hell is that?” The god hissed, angry at Ben’s trickery. It had no face, only a layer of black, dull material where the eyes, nose and mouth should be. The body was strange too. It had the same contour and features, but was covered with the same type of material as the face, only the coloring was different. A strange mix of muted shades of grey and black twisted and swirled around the torso and limbs. “That, is my friend,” Ben said, moving forward until he was in between the two

The good bits no vocalization matrix, no ears.” “That’s true,” Ben said. She waited for an explanation “Well?” She said impatiently. “You have synthetic eyes, I’m guessing?” “Of course.” She sounded irritated by the admission. “Which is the normal practice because organic optics are so delicate, and they decline with age, don’t fair well in low light, etcetera, etcetera. So they replace them with optic sensors similar to a camera’s lenses, but miniature, with thermal, spectrum, zoom, etcetera, etcetera.” “Right.” “The same with all the sense organs of a full augment, they’re replaced with mechanical or computer assisted system. Five separate systems, all handled by separate subroutines, processed and then fed into your main processor.” “Usually an organic brain,” She said, crossing her arms. “Right, in most cases,” He paused, trying to decide if she was offended. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what is your best neural-sync efficiency?” She frowned. “High eighties.” He stared at her, waiting. “Okay, low eighties. Still better than most.” “No, it’s very impressive,” Ben said, nodding. “What were you doing at the time, again if you don’t mind me-“ “I was Freerunning,” she said, annoyed by his politeness. “Really?” He said, the slightest hint of a smile. “I’m surprised they would let someone with your…physical that.” “They didn’t, I was in pursuit, it wasn’t planned.” “Did you enjoy it?” “Yes,” She said, smiling with the memory. “Anyways, you still haven’t explained-” “His sync efficiency is over ninety five percent. At idle.” The god couldn’t help her mouth opening.

see you next time f1nd the previous sections on the web Kriminal Kakuro augments. “I gather from your subtle appearance that you heard the unpleasantness that occurred outside, and the story of our rather excitable guest?” The figured nodded slightly. “Good, then please humor me by going outside and onto the roof. You may have to buy us some time with your talents.” Without a word, the figure slipped backwards into the darkness of the corner he had appeared from, and with a whisper slipped outside. Even after he was gone, the god could still feel his attention, like a tickle in her mind. The god stared at Ben, anger apparent on her face. “I thought we were friends.” “We are friends, but I couldn’t help a little revenge for sneaking up on me earlier.” The god’s anger slowly melted into shock. “How did he do that? He has no eyes,

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Kakuro is the criminal combination of a crossword and Sudoku puzzle. In a kakuro, the numbers are the clues. They denote the total of the digits in the row or column referenced by the number, and always play down or sideways. Within each collection of cells - called a run - any of the numbers 1 to 9 may be used but, like sudoku, each number may only be used once. Help for your impending headache can be found here on the webs: wiki/Kakuro - may 24, 2012 - 15

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The Hype Weekly #39  

The Hype Weekly, May 24 2012