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THE HILARIAN

LK ...because law can be such a drag L I P M A N K A R A S


Skip Lipman Principal

Belinda Russo Senior Associate

Experienced Tacticians

Fresh Thinking

Lipman Karas is a specialist legal practice acting for corporate, government and private clients throughout Australia and internationally.

Lipman Karas is an employer of choice for outstanding candidates:

We focus exclusively on: sCOMPLEXLITIGATION

sDISPUTERESOLUTION

sCORPORATEINVESTIGATIONS

sCORPORATERECOVERY

sGOVERNANCEADVICE

sRISKMINIMISATION

LK L I P M A N K A R A S

L I P M A N

K A R A S

“I love the work, the people and the premises at Lipman Karas, coupled with the professional relationships I have established with colleagues and clients”. (Belinda Russo, 2010)

Lipman Karas offers talented and energetic people a unique opportunity to develop their professional careers and personal skills in a rewarding and dynamic team environment.

Clerkship applications close on Friday 9 April 2010. For information please visit lipmankaras.com

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EDITORIAL

2-5

CHOOSE YOUR OWN LEGAL ADVENTURE

6-7

A CULTURAL CONSTELLATION

8-9

BRASH NEW LAW REFORM #201

10 - 11

LAW SCHOOL HOROSCOPES

12 - 13

MEET YOUR LSS

17 - 21

FIRST YEAR LAW STUDENT GUIDE

22 - 24

SUMMER VACATION!

25 - 29

WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS

32

A FINAL THOUGHT

34

Meet your editors and the Law School printer

James and Georgia stroke their crystal balls to offer career advice The Cultural Boulevard’s forgotten highlights The Law of the Sea

Even more accurate than the High Court Reporter Hello Everyone!

More enlightening than any other publication of its kind Fun in the sun. Or not.

Lily Black is concerned about the Po-Po A last ditch attempt at thematic cohesion

Editors: James Apps, Harry Black, Nicola Caon, Georgia Goldsworthy and James Gould Additional writers: Katherine Beazley, Lily Black, Patricia Carlise, Bethany Hender, Asta Hill, Joseph Scales, Zoe Van Der Lee & Ke$ha Photography: Alistair Nicholls Publisher: Rainbow Press Special thanks to all the Fringe artists who participated in our photo-shoot, in particular our covergirl from Drags Aloud. Find her at www.dragsaloud.com.au.

This publication does not represent the views of the University Law School. This publication is not endorsed by the University Law School of the University generally. It is a satirical publication and is the sole creation of the Adelaide University Law Students’ Society.

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EDITORIAL And then there were five... Five is a great number. Many things have been achieved by the power of five: Five veto powers on the Security Council. Five planeteers in Captain Planet. Five Olympic Rings. Five members of the Manson Family were sentenced to death, later to have their sentences automatically reduced to life in prison by the Supreme Court of California, in 1972. Five is the number of years David Bowie said we had “left to cry in”, also in 1972. 1972 was the longest year ever, as it was a leap year and two leap seconds were added. Wait. Five. Five is the maximum number of years of imprisonment for throwing objects at moving vehicles under s32A(1) of the

Criminal Law Consolidation Act 1935 (SA). Five is used to denote the most destructive hurricanes on the Saffir–Simpson Hurricane Scale and the most destructive tornadoes on the Fujita scale. Five minus one is the number of Golden Girls once Shady Pines burnt down. Now to add to that distinguished list is another five. The five editors of the Hilarian this year: James Apps, Harry Black, Nicola Caon, Georgia Goldsworthy and James Gould. Promising to deliver insight & intelligence, humour & happiness into the hot little hands of Adelaide Law students each term. And how will we achieve a successful mix of such a diverse range of elements? One word: Synergy. And no, we’re not sure what it means either.

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Welcome from the Law Library Printer Dear Students, Congratulations on selecting Adelaide Law School for the start of your long and illustrious legal career. It may be said, as you tread the asbestos lined corridors of Ligertwood that it is your fellow students and lecturers who will impact upon you most. Respectfully, I must dissent. As older law students will no doubt be aware, there are many challenges that face a law student in their legal studies. Some of these challenges will be academic; some of these will be personal. However, most of these will challenges will undoubtedly be me. An embodiment of the often fickle nature of the Justice system, students will hone their skills in bluster and invective, as I sit stationary, failing to deliver much needed Word documents at 1.59pm. This year, I am pleased to announce, in conjunction with Adelaide Information Technology Services (ITS), an additional service to be offered to Adelaide law students. For the very first time, students will now not only be unable to print their work, but also send it electronically as IT systems will continuously be in a state of “upgrade” for the majority of semester. Wireless access, I am also glad to note, will be sporadic and difficult to obtain within the Ligertwood Building. It is these services which give Adelaide Law its main points of distinction, setting us apart from UniSA and Flinders with their fully functioning ITS and multiple printers for law students. Instead, I am pleased to offer one final addition to the new law degree currently being put in place. Not only will students be given graded honours, but for those successful in fixing printer malfunctions, they will also be awarded a “Bachelor of Laws and Printer Maintenance”. Thank you once again for your patronage of this noble institution and I apologise in adany deductions deductions for for lateness lateness you you may may suffer suffer on on my part part in in your your academic academic studies. any vance for any deductions for lateness you maymy suffer on my part in yourstudies. academic studany deductions deductions for for lateness lateness you you may may suffer suffer on on my my part part in in your your academic academic studies. studies. any ies. any deductions for lateness you may suffer on my part in your academic studies. Yours truly, Yours truly, Yours truly, Yours truly,

Yours truly,

Yours truly,

THE LAW LIBRARY PRINTER Bachelor of Laws, University of Sydney. BCL, Oxford Diploma of IT, UniSA

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Letters THE HILARIAN

Dear Editors,

Finally a chance to showcase Adelaide when the Australian Law Students’ Association Conference hits our fine city this July. And what better idea for a fundraiser than “Bikie Bash 2010,” held earlier this month. A glorious celebration of Adelaide’s seedy criminal underbelly and an increasingly authoritarian government. Not to mention its dress theme of “biker hos and biker bros” - it’s nice to know that chauvinism is back in style! I just can’t wait to whip out my studded leather thong again when the constitutionally dubious anti-bikie legislation is debated before the High Court.

Dear Eds,

Easy Rider

Dear Eds, There have been a number of proposed changes to the Evidence Act recently, particulary concerning the admissability of prior convictions or acquittals. As a citizen thoroughly committed to law and order, I applaud this and in fact have a few suggestions of my own: 1. The admissability of evidence by “that guy said drunkenly the other night, you know that night... you know that guy.” 2. The admissability of evidence by the homeless xylophone player on Rundle Mall. 3. The admissability of wild assertions unfounded by any sort of evidence. Yours sincerely,

Concerned Citizen

Dear Eds, There seems to be an awful lot on the Adelaide Law School social calendar. Perhaps you could tell me what all these events are about... Eager first-year

It’s nice to see the new Ligertwood Plaza plastered with the name of illustrious personage Taib Mahmud. Just a quick question, who is he, and why is he sponsoring our Law School? Naive first-year

That’s a good question, naive first-year. We have no idea who he is either! We always find a quick Wikipedia search provides the answers to most legal issues. Why not give that a shot?

Here’s a brief run-down. First Year Camp: Drunk. But cancelled. Oakbank: Drunk. In a dustbowl. Law Ball: Drunk. Currently without venue. (Shh... don’t tell anyone!) Law Dinner: Drunk. In front of a High Court Justice. Final Year Drunks: Drinks. Getting you ready for legal practice. Enjoy!

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Dear Eds, I recently learnt that a penalty for jumping off a building in New York State is death. Do you think it likely my body reincarnate will escape prosection? Distressed and depressed 1961

Dear Eds, My microwave has recently broken down. Such bad timing! I’ve promised my guests a roast tomorrow! Would it be possible for me to use the one in the Ligertwood student lounge? I noticed the other day that it has an express defrost function, which would suit me perfectly. Anxious Cook

Make sure you clean the noodles out first, Anxious.

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CHOOSE YOUR OWN LEGAL ADVENTURE With James Gould and Georgia Goldsworthy Last week’s Careers Fair made clear that there are a myriad of career paths for Adelaide law students when they graduate. But while a friendly HR lady might be able to tell you something about clerking at her firm, she won’t be giving you a long-sighted view of where your career could end up in thirty years. This is where the Hilarian comes in – in this article, James and Georgia rub their crystal balls and show you a glimpse of what the future might hold for you… Ruthless Corporate Bitch

Shady Underworld Lawyer

While the other clerks at the Sydney office of top-tier commercial law firm Hitler, Pot & Associates look bewildered and doe-eyed you display nothing but ruthlessness and determination. A bone-mangling handshake with your supervising partner seals the deal for your quick progression through the legal profession. After a brief stint in an international investment bank, you return and are promoted to senior associate. Promotion requires all the partners to sign off, but that hot female partner whom you sexually harassed at last year’s Christmas party is churlishly refusing to endorse your elevation. She is conveniently struck by a large, black BMW on a quiet suburban street in a tragic and fatal “accident” – congratulations, Partner! Your alcohol and cigar habit finally takes its toll, resulting in major surgery and five weeks of rehabilitation. Post recovery you are appointed to the boards of several ASX-100 companies, and you write an “inspirational” self betterment book about succeeding in business.

After law school you remain jobless for six months and take up work at your local restaurant. The kindly bearded, leather-clad proprietor engages you to provide legal advice to him and his “associates” on a range of petty and not-so-petty criminal matters. After associating with his associates a little too much (six times, to be precise) you end up with legal troubles of your own. Despite earnest pro bono representation from a left-leaning sanctimonious barrister (see below), you finally find yourself ensnared by Mike Rann’s surprisingly constitutionally valid anti-bikie legislation. After prison provides you with the social and sexual education law school could never provide, you and your colourful new friends ‘OneEye’, ‘Biff’, and ‘Cutter’ are released on parole. Together you enter into a number of “small business joint ventures” that mysteriously make you far wealthier than any restauranteur should ever be.

You are a Ruthless Corporate Bitch – your career path has been planned out for you since the day you were born. And nothing at all can stop your trajectory to the top of the mountain. Once you get there you’ll probably find it a bit underwhelming and lonely, but hey… money can always buy friends!

You have chosen the rocky and unpredictable career path of the Shady Underworld Lawyer – the risk is high but so are the rewards… Just bear those Professional Conduct Rules in mind!

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Sanctimonious Left Wing Barrister After final year, you undertake an obscure human rights internship in a country  nobody has ever heard of. Returning to Adelaide, after considerable travels around the world to "find yourself", you decide to sacrifice your ethical principles and obtain a position at what you call a "boutique law firm specialising a wide range of law". Everyone else in Adelaide calls it "commercial litigation".  Eventually, you are admitted to the Bar and take on a large number of lucrative corporate clients and of course, the occasional pro-bono case in order to assuage your chardonnay socialist guilt. You become increasingly fond of long long long lunches at Auge, where you and your colleagues bemoan the conservative direction that this Government has taken and hearken back to the days of your life as a dreadlocked politically active student. Congratulations! While not immediately apparent you have chosen the career path of sanctimonious left leaning barrister! The altruistic desires which drove you in law school to advocate for gay refugee rights actually hid a deeper desire to hear the sound of your voice advocate for, well ... absolutely anything! Isn't advocacy grand?

Chief Justice of the High Court You leave Law School with a small tow truck containing the awards you have accumulated at the final prize giving ceremony. While you have had inordinate offers of graduate jobs, you decide to spend a year as a Judge’s Associate, resulting in a level of gravitas and refinement that does not befit your actual age of 22. Your hairline also begins to prematurely recede. You return to Adelaide to find work in a commercial firm that also respects the principles of law and justice. (Read: Lipman Karas) Quickly however, you are awarded a scholarship to Oxford, set up specifically for you in recognition of your “amazing legal mind”. You return to Adelaide and become the youngest person to be admitted to the Bar in the history of the world. In a shock move, at the age of 45, you are appointed directly from the Bar to become the belated first South Australian Chief Justice of the High Court. The recent election of Prime Minister Kate Ellis has absolutely nothing to do with the matter. Your judgments become the stuff of legal legend and the stuff of law student nightmare. Your Honour! You are the Chief Justice of the High Court. Absolutely nobody saw that one coming. Just don’t mention you sleep in an “I HEART LAW” T-shirt at night.

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Bar Rouge: Former Law Dinner after-party

A Cultural C

venue and popular sex industry hotspot

At the end of the Fringe and A for those of the cultural persu of loss. Don’t despair, even w extinguished, North Terrace, shines. The Hilarian presents ten h

The Jazz Club 199: An empty shell of her

former glory. The lost lustre of a gilded age will be once again found when this building makes heritage listing...

The London Tavern: Some say Parliament House

epitomises our English heritage. Not so. To enter the Tav is to revisit your colonial past. Drift further back with each jug of Midouri Illusion...

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Constellation...

Adelaide Festival, it’s not uncommon uasion to feel an inexplicable sense when the Northern Lights are finally Adelaide’s Cultural Boulevard, still a photographic essay of her forgothighlights..

The Ligertwood Building: Shunned

by the Adelaide Festival who refused to light it up, this tesament to modern architecture is forever illuminated in the hearts of all law students.

Georgia Goldsworthy & Harry Black

K-food

Express: In order to thrive, culture needs a constant supply of redbull and cigarettes. At K-food, both are in abundance. This is surely one of the Boulevard’s brightest stars, day or night.

The Northern most streetlight of North Terrace. Need we say more.

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Brash New Law Reform #201 The Law of The Sea by Admiral K. Beazley

The subject of today’s brash new reform

idea is perhaps the most pressing yet: The Law of the Sea. If it’s not piracy afoot in Somalia, then it’s another cruise ship atrocity, an international whaling stoush or a new boatload of marooned refugees- you simply can’t pick up a copy of the Shipping News anymore without reading about something disastrous. In some ways this crisis has snuck up on us. Many, I among them, had been lulled into a false sense of security by the red skies of recent nights, which strictly speaking, really ought to beget ‘sailors delight’. On the contrary, things have actually be-gotten quite out of hand, and with not so much as a courtesy red sunrise for warning. As a law student you should be gravely concerned - this could ruin your plans to retire aboard a golden yacht in the waters of a tax haven! I’m not about to spend years living in tax exile in Bermuda only to have all the money I’ve saved evading capitals gains tax thieved by pirates! Besides, I was so looking forward to the outrageous fashions that one seems to get away with in the tropics. I suppose my canary yellow gown with the caped Watteau-back is multi-use, but what am I going to do with the periwinkle blue safari suit that makes me look like a young Christopher Skase? I can hardly be seen outside of Majorca in that! The time is long overdue for justice to be returned to the high seas (and may I suggest this time to the reserve collection, where there shall be no more borrowing).

The problem is largely one of law and order. Who is responsible for policing our seas? Does anybody know? It has been quite unclear to me just who is in charge ever since the Water Rats disbanded in 2001. While there is no clear designated force to patrol the oceans, it is no surprise that whalers and people smugglers alike should be running amok. Now, no one is suggesting we bring back the Waters Rats. People are probably willing to put up with quite a bit of amok before they’ll endure that abysmal TV production again.

“The public must be reminded that just as they wouldn’t pirate a movie, DVD or song, nor must they pirate a ship.” Rather, I suggest we bring back Lighthouse Keepers, to keep a watchful eye on things. We should pepper the oceans with manned lighthouses, including mobile lighthouse stations that would drift freely across the deeper parts of the oceans- where fixed lighthouses might be unfeasible. To my mind, these keepers would all have good strong naval names like Horatio and Sinbad, stern gazes, exceedingly weatherbeaten faces and floor length beards.

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Just think how much less trouble there would be. Rascally whalers would never know when the next mobile lighthouse keeper might bob up, looking like Methuselah amalgamated with the Ancient Mariner, and ready to admonish them. Expect a rush on cable knit jumpers and pipes with each new posting. As for this recent spate of piracy, I’m afraid Johnny Depp has a lot to answer for. The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has glorified piracy to the point where the practice has become socially acceptable and even fashionable- just the other day I overhead a couple of hipsters bragging about a Spanish warship they’d pirated on the way back from a gallery party! This romantic view of pirates as charming adventurers with hearts of gold and faces like Mr Depp is entirely fallacious. In reality, pirates are likely to be far uglier, with hearts of stone and pegs for limbs. An

advertising campaign should be mounted immediately, if not sooner, to correct this misguided belief. The public must be reminded that just as they wouldn’t pirate a movie, DVD or song, nor must they pirate a ship. After all, pirating a ship is stealing. Stealing is against the law. Piracy: It’s a Crime. An ad to this effect ought to be played in the previews to all films with boat scenes. Then it’s only a matter of time until the message filters back to Mogadishu and peace is restored to the oceans once more.

START * HERE *and get ready to go places

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www.mallesons.com


LAW SCHOOL HOROSCOPES You can read Mystic Medusa ‘til you’re blue in the face, but she’ll never take into account the idiosyncracies of a law student. The Hilarian’s resident star-gazer, Caveat Temptor, checks in with horoscopes specifically tailored for law students.

ARIES We are sorry to inform you that you will experience the return of university as a foggy maze, replete with furry-backed hobbits leading you down corridors of confusion and temptresses bearing purple cups of poisonous gizzards to lead you astray. Keep placing one foot in front of the other, slowly, towards the exit, and when you have flown out of Ligertwood, forget about ever going back.

GEMINI You seem to be developing a compulsion in stealing the law school library’s newspapers. While this may satisfy your daily klepto urge, depriving others of these publications will not advantage you in any way. In fact, will almost surely result in selfinduced Chantleois mania! Try pinching copies of the Government Gazette starting 1855 instead; we assure you this practice will long go unnoticed.

LIBRA You will face extreme pain and horror repeatedly this month. Nothing can be done except volunteering yourself as a literal punching bag to distract you from the excruciating surges of feeling coursing through your mind and body. That is all.

SAGITTARIUS Love is in the air! Keep on the lookout for a decidedly unattractive student creeping around the corridors of Ligertwood this month. They number many, but one in particular will stand out. You may not find him/ her instantly appealing. In fact, your first response will likely be one of utter revulsion, but looks can be deceiving! Mercury’s in retrograde and Venus is rising – this could be your one shot at true love!

AQUARIUS Don’t be afraid when you arrive at law school this month and find the place littered with disemboweled corpses and hanged children. Ligertwood has played host to a variety of macabre happenings since her first stone was laid in the early 70s. Pluto wanes erratically this month, meaning you’ll almost certainly be imbued with the ability to fuse the world of the living with that of the dead and finally uncover the building’s many secrets.

TAURUS You may be readying your resume for clerkship applications, but remember, slick formatting will never hide your tragic lack of legal experience. You can refer back to your time as a Wendy’s team leader from 2004-2006 as many times as you like, but this isn’t going to help. Uranus falling indicates you should give up now. You’ll never have a legal career of any substance. Head home, get wasted and take a gun to the streets.

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CAPRICORN

LEO The waxing of Neptune and realignment of Venus are strong indicators that you will be achieving High Distinctions this semester without the slightest bit of effort. In fact, you could spend the entirety of the next six months drinking and partying and still sweep all the prizes at the Law School Ceremony. So go on, spoil yourself. And your liver. After all, horoscopes are always extremely accurate.* *The Hilarian bears no responsibility if for some strange reason these events do not come to pass.

CANCER This month, the stars tell us that Saturn plans to sue Jupiter for defamation after Jupiter told The Sun (the newspaper, silly!) that Saturn is not a planet but is, in fact, the Roman God of agriculture and harvest. This is possibly the biggest case since the Big Bang, and Jupiter is keen to settle at the price of its Galilean moons. The sensitivity of Cancerians is perfect for this reactive situation so put your hat in Saturn’s ring!

Don’t go down to the jounral archives in the law library. Within a fortnight, they’ll be transoformed into the gates of hell! Grotesque demons will spew forth from burning portal, brimstone will rain from Ligertwood’s asbestos laden ceilings! Keep away unless you want to become the underworld’s first victim.

PISCES This month, Nepture’s in retrograde and thus you should buy your Hilarian editors a round of drinks next time you’re at the pub. They prefer gin and tonics but red wine would provide a satisfactory substitute.

VIRGO Lady Gaga’s in town! She’s aligned herself with all nine planets and is aiming to become the centre of the universe by the end of the year. How fortuitous for you! Be prepared for a year of questioning whether or not your latest video clip is the biggest “event” in musical history since “Like a Prayer.”

SCORPIO You will meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger will tell you a mysterious secret this month in Ligertwood. Unfortunately, this person is not your lover but in fact your tutor, and he is telling you that you have failed due to lack of attendance.

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Laughing in the face of the law ________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 16


Disclaimer This image does not depict Mike Rann and Michelle Chantleois engaging in sexual relations. This publication does not seek to suggest that these two individuals have ever engaged in sexual relations. The image does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of the editors of the Hilarian, the Adelaide University Law Students’ Society of the Adelaide University Law School, or any members of the academic or administrative staff at the Adelaide University. The Hilarian is not liable for any loss resulting from any action taken or reliance made by you that the content of this image depicts Xenu, the Dictator of the Galactic Confederacy who, 75 million years ago brought billions of his people to Earth in a DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and killed them using hydrogen bombs. Nor does it depict Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd and Princess Diana revealing their true identities as life sized reptilian humanoids secretly plotting to take over the world. It certainly does not depict Lady Gaga, the Illuminati Puppet, her one eye fixed on her billions of adoring fans. It does not depict Harold Holt alive and well

in Soviet Russia. While the Hilarian makes every effort to ensure that the material in this magazine is accurate and up-to-date, you should exercise your own judgement before coming to the conclusion that the image depicts Alex and Lucy committing the sin of adultery because I know for a fact they never have and anyway he never would you slut, especially because he put a ring on it! He liked it so he put a ring on it. He liked it so he put a ring on it. He liked it so he put a ring on it. He liked it so he put a ring on it. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh! Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.! All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies now put your hands up! I’m up in the club, just broke up, I’m doing my

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Your Career... Kelly & Co. is a premier commercial law firm based in South Australia which provides a full range of legal services. The people at Kelly & Co. are driven by excellence and make it a priority to understand their clients’ needs. A clerkship at Kelly & Co. gives you an opportunity to experience working in a major city law firm. It allows you to experience the areas that interest you as well as others that you may not have considered.

For more information about Kelly & Co. clerkships visit www.kellyco.com.au

________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 18


WELCOME FROM HANNAH CANHAM LSS President for 2010

Over the summer holidays, the LSS Committee has been busier than a bunch of V addicts at Fangtasia, organising a range of events and services to kick start the year.

The social events calendar is overrun with fun, starting with First Year Law Camp, Oakbank and a pubcrawl. We’ve got the Social Justice Breakfast Series staring in week 8 and a host of careers information heading your way. The Careers Fair, held on March 12th, was a resounding success. In the Education portfolio, we have First Year NoteTaking Seminars, which started in week 1, and we made our first presentation to the Faculty staff about compulsory lecture streaming on Friday of the same week. Over the year, be sure to check our web site (www. aulss.org.au) regularly to keep in touch with what’s on offer. And, if you have any suggestions or questions, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me or another committee member. In short, 2010 is going to be a great year at Adelaide Law School - be sure to get amongst it.

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HELLO CHONG!

Vice-President (Education) as you can imagine is

in charge of all those education related issues. Probably the most important role played by education is representing the concerns of students. The education portfolio is in a unique position in being able to voice education-related issues to the law school formally. In addition to this over arching role, the education team this year is introducing first year introductory tutorials and a subjects counter-guide later in the year. Further, Paris and myself will keep you abreast of developments that affect Australian law students as a whole by our attendances at ALSA meetings.   My tip: Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse!

HELLO ETTA!

I’m Etta (or if we’re being formal ‘Henrietta Lyons’)

and my position on the LSS is: Vice-President (Administration). I’m the ‘organisational nut’ or, if you will, the ‘organisational freak’.  I’m in charge of the money matters including banking, writing cheques and creating financial statements. This year my major focus is to incorporate the LSS. In true Adelaide form we are one of the only LSSs in Australia to not be incorporated. Once the LSS becomes AULSS Inc. the society will, among many other advantages, become more accountable to students.    Tip: Don’t hold back. Actively participate in all you can. You’ll get more out of your study this way, you’ll make great friends and you’ll make the most of your (short) time at Uni. ________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 20


HELLO DAVID & TYSON!

We are the Careers and Sponsorship team of the LSS. Between the two of us we are responsible for organising the Careers Guide, something we hope you will find useful in the coming months as everyone starts the mad rush to secure that invaluable clerkship and we also run the Careers Fair. This is your opportunity to get to know some of the firms that are out there, or at least their HR manager! As our title suggests we also take care of sponsorship, vital for the running of all the events the LSS hosts throughout the year! Our tip is to practice the art of conveying a lot while saying little, this is particularly relevant for exams! Get your point across but be as brief as you can.

HELLO MEGAN!

I’m Megan Comerford and I’ll be your Activities

Director for 2010!My team and I will work hard all year to make sure you get the best (and most reasonable priced) events possible, including Oakbank, Law Ball, and pub crawls. We will also be introducing exciting new events this year – a Quiz Night and a Final Year Cocktail Night! Make sure you look out for our Activities Calendar and save the dates! My tip for surviving law school is: always catch the early bus! No one likes that awkward stare walking into the lecture late!

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HELLO JAMES, JACK AND BETHANY

Social Justice in the LSS is undergoing a renaissance in 2010. With

a team of 3 social justice officers, we aim to promote the interrelationship of SJ and the law. To date we have aided C&S in expanding the Careers Guide and Fair to include more non-commercial pathways and will be organising social justice-themed events throughout the year. Keep an eye out for us this year and remember that concise and precise notes combined with a well-inked set of highlighters makes for HDs (just remember to study too)!

HELLO ALEKS!

I'm Aleks Golat and I am one of your friendly & lovable activities

reps! My role entails being one of Megan's crew and organising some great social events for you throughout 2010. So keep your eye on the LSS calender! My tip for surviving law school is to never fall asleep in the front row of a lecture - lecturers don't seem to appreciate it!

HELLO CLARE!

Hi there! My name is Clare and I am one of the activities representatives this year. The activities team has already started preparing for First Years Camp, Oakbank, Law Ball and the annual pub crawls. Seriously can’t wait for the events to start! My tip for the law freshers would be to check with lecturers before purchasing new text books because second hand books save you a lot of money. 

HELLO JOSEPH!

Last year I dived head-first into Law School and here I am now on

the LSS working with Megan and the rest of her team delivering a range of events to make uni life more than just study. I’m also working with Beth from Social Justice on breakfasts to be held throughout the year. Get involved and have fun! My advice to first years: readings, apparently, should be done weekby-week, not in swotvac…

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HELLO PARIS!

Hello comrades, my role as Education Representative is to gener-

ally safeguard the quality of your education in order to give you the very best chance of completing the formal requirements necessary to be installed into your father’s law firm or save the world. If any of the myriad of problems that you are sure to develop during your time here concern your education, feel free to send me an email.

HELLO DANIEL, CHRIS AND SANJAY!

Hi guys! We are the comps team for 2010, delivering to you the

regular comps for 2010 - Client Interviewing, Witness Examination, Negotiations and Open Moot. We are set on delivering our election promises - mainly only using high quality judges and providing comprehensive training information. In 2010, we will also be holding an IHL Moot again! We urge you all to get involved and if you have any queries feel free to email us at comps@aulss.org.au.

HELLO BEATRIX!

I’m Beatrix, the mature age rep for the LSS. I returned to Adelaide University to study Graduate Law as I want to be challenged and inspired - Adelaide University has definitely delivered this! I am very excited to be on LSS Committee, we want to hold specialized events for Mature Age students – so email me if you are interested!! It can be overwhelming meeting and getting to know your fellow law students especially if you are not a local or older. Participate in all that you can at law school - I found it to be a great way to meet new people and have fun while learning!

HELLO KITTY!

Shop ‘til you drop! ________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 23


WHAT LAW STUDENTS LIKE A guide to the people and trends haunting the halls of ligertwood by Nicola Caon

So it’s your fifth week at the law school

and despite what mum’s said about feeling at home at university within no time, there are still a few things you just can’t figure out- why do some people appear to have read the entire textbook on the second day? And is it really that uncool for me to wear a backpack? We at the Hilarian thought it would be a good idea to set you guys straight and provide you with the insider info about how to be the most convincing law student around.

1.

The first thing to get straight is that you must not, we repeat not, try to make friends on your first day – but many of you have already probably discovered this. You see, law students like to think of themselves as islands; as nice as it is to sometimes have company, people are disposable. Most believe either their friend quota is already fulfilled, or are too busy and important to devote time to making more. Yes, as sad as this is, you may just have to accept remaining friends with all those freaks who came with you from high school, unless you successfully adopt our suggestions and become queen bee of the law pack.1

2. Flowing from point one, law students love

to ignore people they recognise from classes or who they have met a significant amount of times. This gives them the upper hand in later social situations and takes away the unnecessary pressure of remembering peoples’ names. When a law student you recognise blanks you, you should not flinch, be disappointed or smile. Stare them in the eye; this is considered good practice and will prepare you for avoiding the emotions of distressed and hysterical clients.

3. Within the law school culture, your choice of attire says a lot about who you are. Strutting into Sarawak dressed to perfection in a chic work suit communicates, ‘I am so qualified to answer these questions now I have a real job. I just need to graduate so don’t get in my way’. Sporting one of the LSS hoodies shows a dedication to the law student life which you might not understand at present, but which you should thoroughly grasp after attending one of the boozy events such as Oakbank or Law Ball. Coming to uni with a huge backpack and packed lunch = NERD, and not in the cool ‘I’m so clever like Liz Lemon’ way. Just nerd. Preferably replace it with a man bag, Parisian style, or an oversized tote which will leave any carrier with severe shoulder damage.

4.

Often it is easier to bond with other law students if you find a common interest. Here’s how it works: law students do not like to show enthusiasm and thus, a common point of hatred will work best for this exercise. These can range over a number of topics which distill the appropriate amount of negativity. Our suggestions:

1. The Hilarian will not be held responsible for any negative reaction/horror from your non-law friends and relatives at your gradual transformation as a result of this advice. Additionally, we will accept no responsibility for any failure to increase your popularity as a result of this advice; people may, rather than revere you, think you an absolute douche.

________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 24


a)

The f%7king library printer. The best way is to stand around, purse your lips and wince in frustration as it inevitably shuts down. This is doubly effective as you’ll have the chance to chat to the ball of anger flaming next to you and convey how important your work is over others’. However, making a comment like ‘gee you look stressed, got something to hand up?’ will not go down well; much better to stick to grunts and sighs of exasperation. Just make sure you remember to print something.

experiences – if you apply the next year you may want these people onside.

b) Those fuzzy-chinned, scruffy students that

pop through Napier to infect the lounge area, use the LAW microwave and generally take up air and space. A comment like, ‘I can’t believe the queue for coffee this morning at briefs made me late for class’ can be made doubly effective by substituting the line, ‘the queue of bloody arts students made me late for class’. This allows the law student to see you are on the right side and gives them the opportunity to respond with passion, ‘yeah, don’t they realise we have our own café for a reason’. Note: arts students have no other value than to remind law students how sloth-like it is possible for a human being to be.

5. High value is placed on those law students

lucky enough to score clerkships, particularly with those firms large enough to feature fullpage ads in the Hilarian. This is the ultimate reward for adopting the law student persona. If you haven’t managed in your penultimate year to find yourself in with a firm, things will not be going well for your law school cred. Further, you may be increasingly frustrated with the constant chat about clerkships permeating every conversation within earshot. We understand. Our advice: earplugs and polite nodding. Under no circumstances should you let on that you are bored with the recounts of clerkship

6.

Your average first year law student

We all know that law students will seize any opportunity to appear hyper-organised and prone to developing OCD tendencies. One of the greatest ways this will manifest itself during your time at the law school is on enrolment day. Law students really enjoy logging onto access Adelaide at 8.45am and screwing over everyone else’s timetable to secure subjects they will undoubtedly drop within 2 weeks. The process quickly descends into a farcical clicking competition, involving fits of hysteria taken out on the keyboard, and disappointment. If desperate – try threatening phone calls to the front office to empty out the library while you sit on the side of the road with your laptop.

7. When law students start to talk to you about

course content they will either do one of two things: a) try to convince you of their detailed knowledge of the topic, or b) do their best to appear helpless, hopeless and utterly confused. Nothing could be further from the truth. In both scenarios the law student is trying to manipulate you Patty Hewes style and suss out your potential as a threat. If you have reason to believe a law student has no idea what he/she is talking about, drop the names of ‘important’

________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 25


cases you have never heard of and send him/ her on a goose chase. In the alternative, note any omissions in the law student’s rant and make sure you know these cases before the upcoming seminar.

8. Lastly and for your convenience, the list of

things that law students love about being law students include: having a room in the ICC devoted to them – and what that means for cutting-the-line privileges- ; dropping their line of study into random conversations, to parents, landlords, butchers, in the hope of scoring unwarranted approval; and finally, having their own building which acts as a justification for failing to communicate with anyone from any other faculty.

We understand that keeping up with the current trends and expectations of your fellow law students appears to be quite a formidable and often impossible task. However, non-compliance and failure to understand these foundational concepts may result in your social effacement and a general lack of control over your body’s rejection of the law students’ world. Let it become intuitive. Geting the balance right between being impressive and fitting in will mean instant popularity. And if all else fails, stand around in the library talking at the top of your voice like you have friends– people will think you’re one of them and at least respect you for that.

Throwing the book at them ________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 26


Breaking Down Boundaries Summer days in Sydney By Joseph Scales & Bethany Hender Would you like to have a glass of

wine with Kirby? And then dinner with Catherine Branson QC? How about talking to legal employers from a range of fields over brownies? Or participate in forums with leading Australian minds over issues of legal social justice? This is what we got to experience in December of last year at the ‘Breaking Down Boundaries: law for social justice’ conference. Over four days law students from across the country congregated at the University of Sydney’s Women’s College and Law School for an incredible weekend of forums, discussions and socialising. BDB is an intervarsity conference, organised by students from six different Sydney law schools, which seeks to inspire and inform attendees by reaffirming the role of law as a powerful social justice tool. Part of the 100-strong cohort of attendees were four students from our own Law School – Danijel Malbasa, Melanie Smart and the two of us. We were first taken by the incredible venue – as much as we love Ligertwood, the Harry Potterstyle dining hall and beautiful surrounds of the Women’s College put us a little to shame, even before we had seen the astounding modern Law School building… The conference opened, in true law studentevent style, to drinks on Friday night. We followed onto the first of the two keynotes with the Hon Catherine Branson QC, President of the Human Rights Commission.

Following dinner, we were joined by the Federal Attorney-General, the Hon Robert McClelland MP. Saturday and Sunday were filled with forums led by an incredible range of minds. From Nick Toonen of Toonen v Australia, to Peter Gordon from Gordon & Slater whose key roles in antitobacco and asbestos victim cases was key in our discussion on Corporate Criminality.

“...the LSS Committee has committed to supporting a group of Adelaide students to attend Breaking Down Boundaries next conference in December.”

The Hon Ronald Sackville QC took a very frank and open position with us in the forum on Public Interest Litigation; whilst the Director-General of IP Australia, Philip Noonan, joined a panel which was otherwise sceptical of international patenting laws. In between what was almost an information overload, we had morning and afternoon teas attended by several organisations and senior and managing partners, including the Red Cross, UNYA, Blake Dawson, DFAT, Redfern Legal Service, Left-Right, Reprieve and G&T (including managing partner Danny Gilbert).

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Above all, the conference was interesting and also a lot of fun – we made so many good friends and long-term contacts from law schools all over the country; had a fun drinks evening, enjoyed a formal and intimate dinner with the Hon Michael Kirby AC CMG and even experienced a bit of Sydney’s rather exotic nightlife (some people struggled with the IP forum on Sunday morning…). This experience was so incredibly worthwhile that we want to encourage more people to get themselves to the 2010 conference! We are happy to announce that the LSS Committee has committed to supporting a group of Adelaide students to attend Breaking Down Boundaries next conference in December.

Pie you forgot about from the law library fridge. Convincing yourself at 2am that there is a ghost hiding amongst the Reports of International Arbitral Awards and running to a cab. Almost having a coronary after emailing two 9000-word submissions one minute before the midnight deadline after another epic IT failure. Not consuming goon in the law library to celebrate, pursuant to law school policy. Discovering misspelling of islands on front cover. Canberra. What more can you want from a summer vacation?

Left: Note to self although you may refer to your written submissions as your ‘babies’, they do not need to wear nappies and it costs much too much money to change them twice daily.

If you’re interested in finding out more about BDB, please visit www.breakingdownboundaries.org and feel free to chat to or email either of us.

Excellency

Your Honour... James Apps & Georgia Goldsworthy

Summer. Tropical isalnds. Untouched lagoons. Swashbuckling adventurers. Naval exploration. Battles for independence… …and 24-hour access to the law library. Napping in the law library. Celebrating New Year’s Day in the law library. Not eating take-away Lemon Caramel Pie in the law library, pursuant to law school policy. Not calling a team member to throw away the remainder of the Lemon Caramel

This February, Adelaide University sent a team to Canberra to compete against Australia’s finest mooters at the Phillip. C Jessup International Law Moot Competition, the world’s largest mooting competition. James Apps, Georgia Goldsworthy, Lisa Irawan, Roanna McClelland and Dayna Ziukelis, coached by Matthew Stubbs, were chosen to sacrifice their social lives, their sanity and their university printing quota for the competition. This year, the problem centered on the case of the Windscale Islands (what do you mean you haven’t heard of them? GOD, it’s an archipelago 6000 miles due west of the Republic of Aspatria! I realise some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as). The problem concerned questions of sovereignty, self-determination and bilateral investment treaties. Not the most popular topics of conversation at dinner parties, but great icebreakers at Canberra’s four-level Unibar over $2 base spirits. Yes, $2. That city is whack.

________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 28


For all involved, it proved a challenging and ultimately rewarding two-month experience. Our advocacy skills were honed by constant oral submissions in front of barristers, lecturers and judges in what often seemed a trial by fire. The Adelaide team made it to the quarterfinals where we were unfortunately beaten by Bond University. The ultimate victors were the University of Western Australia. Jessup Moot – once you’ve done it, you’ll never forget it. And when you add your competitors as Facebook friends and see how much worse their experience was, you will feel a whole lot better. Thanks must go to Matthew Stubbs, for destroying his holidays and coaching us so well, and to all those who helped the team before their trip to Canberra.

Above: Lisa Irawan, James Apps, Roanna McClelland, Georgia Goldsworthy and Dayna Ziukelis.

The Aurora Project

Patricia Carlise, Zoe Van Der Lee, Asta Hill & Nicola Caon

The Aurora Project is an organisation that develops programs to support and promote the interests and prosperity of Australia’s Indigenous communities. Aurora provides professional development and other support for staff working at Native Title

Representative Bodies (NTRBs) with a focus on disciplines such as anthropology, law, research and the social sciences. A significant aspect of their work involves the education and promotion of the career opportunities in Indigenous affairs and native title. Students are provided the opportunity as interns to work in the under resourced and overworked NTRBs as well as other organisations involved in policy, social justice and Indigenous affairs.

Patricia Carlisle – Legal Intern My legal internship involved a six week period of work at the Australian Institute of Aboriginal Torres Strait Islanders Studies (AIATSIS) located in Canberra. I was specifically working in the Native Title Research Unit (NTRU) which ‘provides high quality independent research and policy advice in order to promote the recognition and protection of the native title of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples. This valuable experience exposed me to the complex and controversial area of Native Title and provided insights into the challenges facing all those working in this dynamic field. An area of particular interest was the continuing dispute surrounding the notion of the term ‘traditional’ as understood in the native title legal context. The concept of traditional is extremely nebulous and the controversial text of s. 223 of the Commonwealth Native Title Act remains the focus of much heated debate since the momentous Mabo decision in 1992. While I recognise that my understanding on this area is incomplete at this time, I cannot help but question some aspects of its classification. For example, at what point does one draw the distinction between the use of ‘traditional’ as a legitimate exercise of legal precedent and of that as a medium of exploitation, hypocrisy and oppression? As a legal intern in the NTRU, these issues are the basis of much reflection and are as potent for me as they are for the more experienced in this evolving field. Perhaps in 21st

________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 29


century Australia, it may be timely for the legal profession to pay heed to former Justice Kirby's poignant remarks: “We the judges, lawyers and law students of contemporary Australia, must always be willing to hear the voice of justice. Form is not sufficient. Our function in the law is the substance of justice according to law.”

Zoe van Der Lee - Legal Intern Over the summer break, I completed a six week internship in Canberra at the Australian Institute of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Inlander Studies (AIATSIS), within the Native Title Research Unit. The internship was organised by the Aurora Project, an organisation that, among other things, provides university students from around Australia the opportunity to gain practical experience within the native title field. I commenced my internship with minimal expectations, really just hoping to avoid having to do dull administrative tasks such as photocopying! Upon arrival I was pleasantly surprised by being assigned an interesting research project to complete What I can reveal is that I spent the majority of my time contrasting the corporate structure of Native Title Representative Bodies (NTRBs) and Native Title Service Providers (NTSPs). Essentially my project involved assessing the Corporations Act 2001 (Cth) and the Corporations (Aboriginal and Torres Strait Inlander) Act 2006 (Cth) to identify the similarities and differences of the incorporation process, constitutional design and required governing structure. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed my time at AIATSIS and found it to be a valuable learn-

ing experience. It was also wonderful to have an excuse to stay in Canberra and visit the High Court to appreciate where famous decisions, such as Mabo, are determined. Given that we learn so little about native title at Uni, exposure to this area has highlighted that the field offers a potentially exciting and rewarding career direction, whether it is within an NTRB or with organisations such as AIATSIS. I encourage other students who are interested in learning more about native title to apply for an internship with the Aurora Project.

“Form is not sufficient. Our function in the law is the substance of justice according to law” Asta Hill - Legal Intern This summer I did two internships through the Aurora Project. Both were starkly different and afforded me different opportunities and experiences. My first internship was at Ngaanyatjarra Pitjantjatjara Yankunytjatjara (NPY) Women’s Council in Alice Springs and lasted just over a month. This was an Aboriginal policy based internship. For the most part, I was required to work independently. My main task involved researching the viability of applying a Restorative Justice Program on the Anangu Pitjantjatjara Yankunytjatjara (APY) Lands to

________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 30


domestic violence cases. I also spent time in Warakurna, a remote Aboriginal community in Western Australia. There, I consulted respected persons in the community about my research. During my time spent with women and children in the community, I learnt a great deal about Aboriginal culture, customary law, kinship systems and, importantly, the significance of country to Aboriginal people. These are things one cannot learn from the confines of an office and I am so grateful that I was able spend time on country with so many incredible respected senior and younger Aboriginal people. My second internship was at South Australian Native Title Services in Adelaide. This was strictly a Native Title internship, and lasted five weeks. Unlike NPY Women’s Council, I worked in tandem with my supervisor. My work fell within the rubric of two native title claims which are nearing resolution. I worked on the constitutions of Aboriginal claimant corporations, attended board meetings of these corporations and advised claim groups with respect to exploration and mining. I also directly participated in formal negotiations with an emerging mining company. In addition to the work I did specific to the native title claims, I provided advice in relation to proposed Native Title Act amendments.

Nicola Caon - Policy Intern My six weeks with the NSW Aboriginal Land Council (NSWALC) in the Policy and Research Unit was one of the most interesting experiences of my professional development. I learnt not only about the formation of law, but much about its application in the policy/ political world. My initial understanding of the organisation did not prepare me for the web of information and systems into which I was about to be thrust. NSWALC was established in 1977 as a peak lobbyist body in the state for Aboriginal land rights. It was originally made up of Aboriginal activists and community leaders who campaigned for the introduction of the Aboriginal Land Rights Act 1983 (NSW) (‘the ALRA’). The legislation was intended to compensate Aboriginal communities for the loss of their

Regardless of whether you want to practice in Native Title, an Aurora internship will provide you with insight into an area of law which is only touched on at law school. You will also learn skills which you will carry through to any area of law. The Aurora experience is an invaluable one, and I urge anyone interested to get involved.

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land, and to address the need for land ownership. The ALRA, amongst other things, provides a scheme whereby the Minister for Aboriginal Affairs can hand back freehold Crown land to the local aboriginal land councils. It took me a good few weeks to familiarise myself with this system and the various functions of NSWALC. NSWALC’s main objectives are to work for the best interests of Aboriginal people in NSW. Thus it has a broad mandate to represent and look out for Aboriginal communities. This summer was a great time to work in the Policy and Research Unit, as the unit was in the middle of a campaign regarding proposed changes to NSW Aboriginal culture and heritage legislation. As a policy intern, my obligations ran far and wide – from researching and gathering information about compliance with the current legislative scheme, to drafting briefs for our director and conducting social science-style analysis of LALCs’ five year Community Land and Development Plans. What was most interesting was learning about the internal operations of a policy unit; responses to government proposal had to be made promptly and relationships with working partners maintained. It also it shed light on the often complex interaction between law and those whose rights it affects, and how the transition of rules from paper to operation is sometimes fraught with difficulty. I would really urge those of you considering doing an Aurora internship, whether it be legal or policy, to apply for the upcoming winter round. Alternatively, give Aurora a call to find out more information about the program. The placement team are extremely good at answering questions!

Applications for the winter 2010 round of internships will close on 1st April – please refer to the Aurora website for details at www.auroraproject.com.au.

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The Greatest Pleasures

In this rapidly changing world, pleasure is becoming more and more important. Everyone seeks pleasure. So, what are your pleasures? The Hilarian investigates.... “One of life’s greatest pleasures” Tony Abbott on sex “One of life’s greatest sensual pleasures” Ann Zuccardy on shortbread “One of cooking’s greatest pleasures” Nigella Lawson on peeling garlic “What is the gerund in ‘the greatest pleasure is giving?’” “Giving.” Anon on Wikianswers.com “Truly an intellectual nobody...is that all there is? You know the song? (singing) ‘Is that all there is?’ I always regarded him as the resident nutter on their side.” Paul Keating, misunderstanding our question and speaking of his least greatest pleasure.

D James Apps honing the skills he’s recently acquired in Dispute Resolution & Ethics...

A Fringe artist gathers the requisite knowledge to bring Tony Abbott before the Equal Opportunity Commission.

Music by The Cookie Monster Lyrics by James Apps Now what starts with the letter D? Dispute Resolution and Ethics begins with D. Let's think up other things that start with D. Uh, uh, who cares about the other things! Chorus (x 2) D is for Dispute Resolution and Ethics, that's good enough for me! (Repeat 3 times) Oh, Dispute Resolution and Ethics, Dispute Resolution and Ethics, Dispute Resolution and Ethics starts with D. Hey, you know what? A cookie cut in half looks like a D. A tongue poking out on its side also looks like a D but it is not as good as Dispute Resolution and Ethics. Oh, and the moon sometimes looks like a D but you can't eat that… So...

________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 33


know your career direction Our Graduate Diploma of Legal Practice assists you to make the transition from law graduate to practising lawyer and offers you: Z multiple course start dates throughout the year Z part-time options to suit work needs Z flexible online learning platform Z cost effective training that can be completed in just 30 weeks Z meets all required competencies Z FREE online legal job board to advertise work experience or graduate positions Supervised Workplace Training courses also available Find out how your firm can benefit: Ph: 1300 856 111 or visit www.collaw.edu.au

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A fundamental miscarriage of justice

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WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS With Lily Black....

You know what grinds my gears? The Po-

lice, henceforth known as “The Po Po” an affectionate term coined by preeminent American poet, Ke$ha. My run in with The Po Po occurred unexpectedly when I exited a mini-bus on Hindley Street which had been organised by the parents of a boy celebrating his 21st birthday. As err-body was gettin’ crunk, a few of the boys still had their unopened beers as they got off the bus. Two of our Po Po instantly descended upon the boy and a 20 minute lecture ensued. Something along the lines of “Hindley being a dry-zone.” This occurred despite the boy’s apologies and declarations that he would dispose of the beer.

Without warning, the boy was thrust on a wall and handcuffed. Another, stylishly dressed in pointy shoes and skinny leg jeans (also an Adelaide Law student), approached the Po Po with his hands up and asked what his rights were. After being told to fuck off, this boy and his outfit were knocked to the ground and also cuffed. Well talk about getting kicked to da curb lookin’ like Mick Jagger! At this point eight of the Po Po circled the boys before they were escorted into a paddy-wagon for some fun times in lockup.

Look Po Po, I get you wanting to crack down on the roughest part of Adelaide and indeed a disorderly environment. What I don’t get is wasting the resources and man-power of eight police officers picking on these guys who didn’t wanna fight, they just wanted to party till dey see da sunlight. Where were these Po Po the night of the recent November Hindley shoot-out?

Where are eight strong men to defend a sex-crime victim during the night? Why did it take eight cops to take down two guys who were later released in the night on loitering charges? Yeah you got me with ma hands up, my heart pounds at the sound of this injustice. So shove it Po, shove it where your hope don’t shine.

“You got me with mah hands up! Mah heart pounds at the sound of this injustice...”

Upset, I called 131-444 to make a complaint. “Go to a station” was all I received in response. Well somebody obviously didn’t brush their teeth with a bottle of jack this morning! ________________________ THE HILARIAN 01/2010 - 36


STRATEGICPRACTICALASTUTE

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A Last Ditch Attempt at Thematic Cohesion Law can be such a serious business, and sometimes its

hard to see the forest for the trees; particularly when the trees are the reams of paper you have to read each day to prep for tutorials. That’s why every edition of the Hilarian this year will aim to take law out of its natural habitat. Starting with this edition, which witnessed the HIlarian editors and associates frolick in the garden of unearthly delights. And far from the revulsion or cheap gags we expected when we announced that we were law students, we were met with enthusiasm, mild bewilderment and occasionally “can we have that in writing?” Nevertheless, we were successful as illustrated by the array of photos of fine Fringe performers scattered throughout the magazine. Consider this then, a call to arms. Each edition, we will take law to the lawless and invite all students to come with us. Keep your eyes peeled for the next announcement and photo shoot.

Please send any submissions to: thehilarian@gmail.com

Thanks again to all Fringe per-

formers who participated in our photo shoot.

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HILARIAN FOR ISSU