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HenPost

10th - 14th November 2011

Rumours of SATC tour trip Seven girls follow in Carrie’s footsteps when they get stateside Find out more on Page 5!

Gossip

Gossip The NYC Glamour Shoot What? You haven’t heard about the glam fashion shoot in New York? Read all about it inside!

Sexy Brits in SemiNude Dare Scandal

Look Inside For stories, gossip, drinking games & dares

nine girls escape &

flee to new york J ess’s s e cre t toIl e t F e t i s h r e v e al e d! Ok, so we all know Jess is pretty weird – I mean she is our go-to girl for all weird ideas and wacky suggestions! But did you know that she has a full on toilet fetish? No, neither did we! Apparently, a source close to Jess has revealed that she cannot go to the toilet in a public place without first making sure she has a host of special items, including hand sanitiser, a good friend to watch the door and a toilet seat cover – what a hassle!! Source Melissa Hubbard

By Amy Whiner

Yes that’s right, you read it correctly! Do not adjust your glasses, it’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth. A group of seven specially selected girls are planning to escape the daily grind in favour of a once-in-alifetime trip to the Big Apple! The reason? Jess Carter is about to get hitched and they need to celebrate her last few days of freedom! Get ready New York, the Lancashire lasses are coming and they won’t be quiet about it!

News just in – Jess has less than a month of freedom left!


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Flight Details Out: Flight BA3451 Depart from Gatwick 10/11/10 at 1.10pm Arrive: JFK, 8pm Met by Isabel in a Limosine!

Return: Flight BA3463 Depart from JFK 14/11/10 at 11.25am Arrive: Gatwick, 8pm Taxis, tubes etc.

Weather Report NYC is meant to be between 4°C and 10 °C, so expect to wrap up warm – coats, scarves and gloves!

5 •••

5 things you didn’t know about NYC

1. New York City was the U.S. capital from 1789 to 1790 6. The Big Apple is a term coined by musicians meaning to play the big time 3. More than 250 feature films are shot on location in New York City each year

4. There are over 3745 million shops in New York City

5. More than 12,700 licensed yellow taxis work the streets of New York City every day – most New Yorkers have perfected a taxi whistle to stop them

Hen Post 10th November 2011

Hen Exclusives 2 The Facts Get the skinny on NYC  3 Amy’s column Get in the mood for fun girls! It’s naughtiness from here on… 4 meet The starlets Get to know the hen line up – you’ll be bffs in a sec! 5. Calendar of events The details of everything we’re going to be doing for our NYC hen party! 6 Drinky-poos Keep your wits about you and remember the rules – or else! 7 to do list Tick everything off on this list before you return home! 8 must haves Don’t forget any of these things – you have been warned! 9 Secrets 10 things you don’t know about our Jess! 10 contacts don’t get lost now! 11 a little champagne game this is for the journey home, do not look!


Hen Post 10th November 2011

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Our NYC Correspondent Isabel Carter who we all know and love dearly is organising everything stateside, so we are forever indebted to her. Not only is she making the all important suggestions, reservations and laying secret party plans that Jess will love, love, love, she is also letting

us all stay at her and her hubbie’s place for the first two nights, making it über cheap for us. The last two nights, she has arranged for us all to stay in a suite at a very swish Manhatten hotel! So remember to say thanks to her girlies – I’ve heard she loves Malteasers!!!!!!!!

30-Second Welcome note EXCLUSIVE

Amy Whiner

Amy Whiner, armed with the responsiblity of ensuring that Jess is well liquored (Maid of Honour & Head Mischief Maker)

Hello girls, and welcome. I am absolutely deeeelighted to be planning the party of the century – that’s right, it’s our lovely Jess’s hen weekend. And where better to spend it than in her fave gam e s city and For home to the her sister plane Isabel – New York!

Well, I’m getting excited just writing this, so I hope you’re feeling the tingles too as you read it! I’ve created this little book to let you all in on the plan for the hen do and also to share some of Jess’s most embarrassing secrets! Plus, it’ll be such a nice thing for us all to keep once we’re back this side of the pond! So, here’s to loads of fun and frolics in the Big, Bad Apple! love Amy xxx


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Hen Post 10th November 2011

MEET THE STARLETS

WORLD EXCLUSIVE

A real world exclusive brought to you by the Hen Post. The cast list for the movie Sex and The City Three has been released!! And shock horror Sarah Jessica Parker and co. have been replaced by a stellar line up of younger, hotter and definitely cooler girls!

Name : Jess Willis Role: Bride-to-be Likes: Older men, old movies and even older cheeses!

Name : Amy W Role: Maid of Honour Likes: making dresses, writing and online blogging

Name : Camilla P Role: Bridesmaid Likes: Pouting, kissing younger boys and kebabs

Name : Charlie L Role: Bridesmaid Likes: Surfing, skiing and of course travelling the world

Name : Sarah V Role: Cake Maker Likes: Baking, dancing to Abba and doing DIY

Name : Josie T Role: Usher Coordinator Likes: Organising things, tidying, cats and cuddles

Name : Louise P Role: Entertainment Organiser Likes: Dancing, DJing, and eating chocolate hob nobs

Name : Isabel W Role: Sister and Chief Bridesmaid Likes: NYC, hot dogs and taking photos of stuff

Name : Annie M Role: Hairdresser and Beautician Likes: Extensions, extensions, oh and extensions!


Hen Post 10th November 2011 Critics’ Choice Here’s a round up of the best things to do in NYC – and guess what? It’s all booked for us! Yee-haw!

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Pick of the Weekend 11th November – 9pm

The all brilliant NBA basketball in Madsion Square Gardens New York Nicks play the Houston Rockets!!!

HENS

(The rules don’t matter, just watch the lovely tall men jumping!)

10th Nov

11th Nov

Take a Champagne fuelled Limousine ride through New York, seeing all of the bright lights, major sights and secret specials the city has to offer eight little jetlagged but also very excited hens!

Alarms set for 10am as we’re heading for a hearty yank-style breakfast before the day’s sightseeing and shopping begins! Put on your gladrags, but remember it’s going to be chilly and we are going to be walking.

Finish the tour at Isabel’s lovely flat in Brooklyn, where we will eat our tea, gossip and lay our heads down for a good night’s rest – loads of beauty sleep will be very important for the next few day’s events!

Issy has a list of cool ‘thrift’ stores for us to visit, and will be herding us up the statue of liberty, before lunch. Then we can split up for serious shopping and meet back at Isabel’s to change for dinner and a night of basketball – that means hot men, yummy!

12th Nov

13th Nov

We’ll get up for breakfast at 10am and will leave Issy’s at 11am for the hotel transfer

Last day in NYC, so we have of course got an action-packed day planned! Sorry sleepy heads, it’s up at 9am, but you can enjoy breakfast in bed before getting ready for a lovely boat excursion that starts at 10.30am in the hotel foyer.

We’ll take the metro to the very fashionable Times Square W Hotel and can investigate the area/bar/ shops, before arriving at the Four Seasons hotel at 2pm to enjoy the spa – manicures, martinis and Afternoon Tea all booked! After the pampering, we will get ready for a night of drinks and debauchery – SATC style! Dress to impress.

Lunch served on-board and the afternoon is free for you to do anything on Issy’s cool stuff to do in NYC list – given out on the boat! Meet back in the hotel foyer at 7pm for a very special hen party dinner!


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Hen Post 10th November 2011

The Hengova begins

Hen’s Drinking Games: No-one’s Safe It is reported that drinks are restricted to Champagne, wine, straight shots or cocktails. Drinking commences whenever and wherever you please.

2) Chicks on Parade – when summoned, assemble in front of General Jess and show your must haves. Punishments will be given for loss or damage!

Punishments are decided by the weights and measures committee (JESS).

3) Thumbmaster - last person to see the thumb on the table must down the drink

1) Coin Drop – if you get a coin dropped in any vessel you are holding, you must down the contents (3 mins max)

4) Issy’s Favourite Game – the frog story, you all know the rules! 5)Low Card – the person with the lowest card must down their drink – simples!

Jess-the-Mess Let’s take a moment to remember some of Jess’s most infamous drinking moments: • The sallichon wave – er dude that’s really not the words! • James and Jonesy – what on earth were you thinking Jess? • The Glasto longdrop – sicko! • Fabric under-age security guy debarcle – amazing, how one girl can be so drunk and so dumb! Any more that come to mind over the weekend result in a shot or dare penalty for Jess – come on hens, think!


Hen Post 10th November 2011

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Special Report: TO DO OR NOT TO DO?

Exposed: the embarrassing list that must be complete before leaving NYC! 1) Scream “I love New York” • Which teacher did you when at a famous landmark! fancy at school?

2) Get a man’s number without mentioning the hen do – tricky!

3) Stand up and hum the Wedding March three times 4) Eat something new

• Why you love Jess!

6) Buy a trashy souvenir

7) Talk to someone in your best “New Yoik” accent!

8) Get something for free – no stealing girls!

5) Tell the group the following 9) Kiss a fellow hen truths: 10) Kiss a NYC dweller • How old you were when you 11) Tell a random that it’s first masturbated Jess’s hen do and that they • Who your fantasy shag is should kiss her

Failure to each complete this list of dares will be punishable on the last night by Jss!


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SHOCK NEWS Whilst on a hen do, nine Lancashire lasses became Chicks on Parade as they were asked to empty their pockets – the results were not pretty!

exposed

Hen Post 10th November 2011

exposed

exposed

Must Haves whistle

When the ‘Chicks’ were found missing important must-have items, they were sentenced to a horrific range of punishments! Don’t let this happen to you reader, be prepared at all times – it’s the only way you’ll get through it!

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lipstick booklet sunnies

HenPost sex with Gay man The sad story she to didn’t want you is find out which now revealed. Find 5! out more on page

for GOSSIp Begged

sex with Gay man The sad story she to didn’t want you is find out which now revealed. Find 5! out more on page

Sexy Brit in Semi Nude Scandal

exposed

exposed

Also InsIde Stories, more gossip, drinking games, Dares

ape & NINe GIrlS eSC yOrK e TO New 10th - 14th August

for GOSSIp Begged

2011

Fle

By Ruth Boutler

TOlIeT FeTISH SHOCKING quo quid et odiSexy BrIT’S SeCreT drunk one night doluptam qui BrITTNey got it tiatur, aliciis and thought with some friends call up one of his would be funny to claims she doesnt guy freinds. She him but left him a remember calling to him that “im voicemail explaining like beards! i like not kesha! i dont played that voiceyou!”. and well he at school the folmail for everyone now everyone lowing monday and with him because thinks im in love drunken words!! sober thoughts are By Melissa Hubbard

2,3,4,5,6,7,8 More news -

endelit lit bea cone es sande res eosa quosam, incit ilique ne labore perro magnatius eum utem eossisim archill aborisi escianderi mi, inum, as ipsanda incit ilique endelit lit quosam, magnailique res eosa perro archill sim tius eum ne labore inum, as aborisi utem eossimi, cusda dolute ipsanda escianderi dolute cusda ipsanda escianderi cusda dolute ipsanda escianderi

,9,10

exposed


Hen Post 10th November 2011

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Page 9

so You think you know Jess do you? The hen post has found a leaked document of secrets! 1. Can recite Ba Ba Black Sheep which is an impossible feat for us all.

2. She snores louder than a jumbo jet

3. Her pet hates are bad breath & bad spelling

4. Her middle names are Meridith, Mary

5. Can run faster than most men – 100m in 11.2 secs

6. Sleepwalks on regular basis. Watch out NYC!

7. Has considered having a nose job

8. She auditioned for X factor, but didn’t make it through the first round!

9. LOVES tall, older men (what happened ha ha??) 10. Lost her virginity at 15yrs and 11 months! Tsk tsk!!!

1 0 things y o u k n ow about

JEss Willis

- “Can run faster than most men”

d idn ’ t Jess!!


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Hen Post 10th November 2011

Hen starlets suspected to be hiding out at the w hotel W Hotel 1567 Broadway New York, NY 10036 USA JFK International Airport (JFK)

+(44) 7793 735244

Isabel’s NYC address : 20 Morgan Av Brooklyn New York 11222 U S A

0179779862

Phone Numbers:

Charlie

Jess +(44) 7343 543564 Amy +(44) 7244 638892 Sarah

Issy Camilla +(44) 7791 302673 +(44) 7824 647738 Josie +(44) 7791 302673 Louise +(44) 7824 647738

Taxi fare rates

Initial fare.............$2.50 Each 1/5 mile (4 blocks).$0.40 Each 1 minute idle.......$0.40 Peak surcharge...........$1.00 (after 4pm until 8pm Mon-Fri) Night surcharge..........$0.50 (after 8pm until 6am)


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Hen Post 10th November 2011

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C h ampagne to b e w o n wit h t h i s w o r d sear c h g l y b k b b y n k a

n l t a b r r n e r e

i e r l r l o y r m a

d r e i o u o y g n y

l n b p o i k b w d c

i b i o k m l u e e e

u c l l l n y k g i n

b l f a y b n k o t r

e n o e n s b y b e n

t g e e b r r r a r t

a l u l r a i e t e c

t t t i i b d w u e o

s y a r d o g n n y n

e y t u g y e t e a n

r n s l e v r l t y d

i a y o a a l t b g s

p r t k l o a t e b d

m o r p w h a r b t y

e a a c n r e n h n a

p r a a n l a g d t b

yellow cab brooklyn bridge new york central park manhattan park avenue yellow cab Empire State Building statue of liberty empire state building central park New york statue of liberty Brooklyn Bridge

k b m k r d n e e c r

If you are looking at this – get off this page!!

Only to be done on the return trip to London. First one of you girls to submit the word search fully and correctly wins a bottle of bubbly!


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Hen Post 10th November 2011

We hope you have as much fun as possible but...

Please Drink Responsibly

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