The Griffin EASTER 2012
The Griffin We are your Griffin Editors for the next three terms. We hope that’s not a problem and that you enjoy the clearly flattering picture below. We’ve worked hard to deliver this edition; as we speak, dawn is breaking. We’re hoping that this is our last allnighter of the year. In this edition, the emphasis centres on you as individuals, allowing members of college to nurture their creativity, something so frequently stifled by the academic rigour of the ominous ‘Cambridge Degree’. This magazine is intended to be read out on the Paddock, knowing that you have a free afternoon ahead of you. Let the magazine speak for itself. Peace out.
HOW TO SURVIVE MAY WEEK
By Louise Ripley-Duggan
MEET THE PORTERS
By Bea Downing
THE HEDONIST’S GUIDE TO CAMBRIDGE
By Harry Hurd
By Kevin Brown
WHY DON’T WE CARE?
By Ashley Walsh
A LIFE STOLEN
By Georgina Phillips
By Saul Boyer & Kevin Brown
MR & MRS
A RIGHT TO EDUCATION
By Veena Srirangam
By Sarah Fox
By Zara Goozee
ULTIMATE FRISBEE & SWIMMING By Andrew Avery & Henry Marshall
Editors Kristina Bugeja & Beth Oppenheim Template Tristan Dunn & Louise Benson Cover & Titles Sarah Fox Back cover Kate Edwards
LOUISE RIPLEY-DUGGAN GIVES US HER SURVIVAL TIPS FOR THIS MAY WEEK It is a mystery to me how most people make it through May Week without liver failure. It is essential that in times of celebration we all take care of ourselves and each other. But it is easy to go overboard, especially with several social engagements in one day. Here are some tips on how to navigate through the booze-haze... t4MFFQJTHPMEFOoJGOPPOFTMPPLJOH DBUDIBTFDSFUTOPP[F Between garden parties, before going out in the evening, whenever there isnâ€™t something happening. t&NCSBDFUIFIBOHPWFSoOPPOFMJLFTUPCFMBHHJOHBUBHBSEFO party. Naps are your way out. Sleep for an hour or so, get up, get some Berocca down you and let that second wind (or third, or fourth) fill your sails. t4UPQXIJMFZPVSFTUJMMIBWJOHBHPPEUJNF,OPXXIFOUPQVU your glass down and when to go home, or risk poisoning fun memories with miserable ones, or blanking them out altogether. t"U.BZCBMMT QBDFZPVSTFMG-BTUJOHBMMOJHIUJTBOBSU5IFSFXJMM probably be an hour at some point when you are tired and a bit bored. Push through and the fun will come again, you donâ€™t have to be having the TIME OF YOUR LIFE, ALL NIGHT. t6OMFTTZPVSFBmOBMJTU CFNJOEGVMPGXIBUHPFTEPXOJODPMMFHFJO May Week. Inadvisable romances start to seem like just what you have needed all your life, and telling That Bitch exactly what you think of her, Pimms in hand, becomes â€˜honestâ€™ and â€˜catharticâ€™. The real world will be waiting on the other side of your week-long bender, and you will still have to live with these people next year. Hold your tongue and cross your legs to avoid drama. Unless drama is what you want, in which case May Week is the perfect excuse...
BEA DOWNING MEETS THE MAN HIMSELF Bea: So, Malcolm, why did you choose to become a porter and how long have you been working at Downing? Malcolm: This is my 9th year … I was in the financial world, and one of my customers was a porter here... I was looking to chill out a bit. B: Funniest thing that’s ever happened? M: Funniest? I was closing up the JCR, I was checking the toilet, you know how you have to check every cranny. When I was looking around the ladies toilets, I thought I’d just seen a black bag. Then I realised a girl had passed out in the cubicle. And it wasn’t easy to get her out, I can tell you. I tried to revive her, I actually kicked her at one stage. B: Put that in. M: Gently, of course. Her friend, smaller than me, jumped over the middle compartment and got her out. It was such a close encounter though…
B: What do you do in your night shifts? M: Play on the computer. Bea snorts. B: Funniest encounter with students coming back from a night out? M: You get people trying to climb over the big gate, and the gate at Downing site as well. We had one guy who speared his thigh… Yeah, we had to call an ambulance. B: What are the best and worst parts of the job? M: Well the best is definitely looking after and making friends with the students… And the worst would be night duty, or working at weekends which means I can’t play golf which is what I like to do.
The Hedonist’s Guide to Cambridge TAKE A TRIP AROUND THE BARS AND CAFES OF CAMBRIDGE WITH HARRY HURD Coffee Hot Numbers Unit 6 Dales Brewery, Gwydir St (off Mill Road) The best coffee to be found in Cambridge - the guys here know everything there is to know about coffee, and regularly have different beans and speciality roasts. The pour-over filter coffee is incredible. They also have a huge range of homemade sandwiches and pastries (including Fitzbillies’ Chelsea buns). Thursday nights are gig nights with a ‘bring your own booze’ policy. Free WiFi, newspapers, and a great atmosphere are guaranteed.
CB1 32 Mill Road Said to be the oldest internet cafe in the world, CB1 promises great and inexpensive food, the comfiest sofas around and a large garden for when the sun comes out. This is the ultimate place to relax and do work / read a book / chat with friends. They sell beer too which is always a plus! Free WiFi. Pubs The Free Press 7 Prospect Row The best pub in Cambridge. A tiny, 120 year-old pub with a fantastic atmosphere. It has many cask ales, and 3 regularly changing guest ales. Great food at very reasonable prices. If it’s available, the tiny saloon area is like taking a trip back in time. The Cambridge Blue 85-87 Gwydir St Another great pub down one of the many roads off Mill Road (the same one as Hot Numbers - the perfect combination for a day out). With over 10 constantly changing ales on tap (both local and from all over the UK), as well as a massive selection of world beers (from Belgium to America to everywhere else) this is one of the best places for beer lovers. A great menu as well, with a huge garden/patio area outside. For the Diamond Jubilee they offered the first pint for 5p!
Hamesh’s Mixtape from last term is a tough act to follow, but all my tape seeks to do is introduce you to a few good songs and fill a page in the Griffin without causing too much of a furore. Here’s hoping that you enjoy it. BLAST, TALIB KWELI & HI-TEK Hi-Tek’s lo-fi production and Kweli’s unique flow start the tape with an acclaimed hip hop collaboration to ease you in. BELLRINGER BLUES (NICK ZINNER REMIX), GRINDERMAN Nick Cave is an amazing songwriter, and this remix by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ guitarist brings out the weirder side of his music. Excellent. WITHOUT MANNER, THESE FURROWS A bout of shameless nepotism on my part, these guys from Leicester combine great melodies with obstreperous guitars, definitely a band to watch. RUDIE CAN’T FAIL, THE CLASH The Clash’s seminal 1979 album ‘London Calling’ re-defined punk rock, and this song represents the attitude of a generation. It also comes highly recommended by my mother.
BABY SAYS, THE KILLS The Kill’s smooth and stripped down rock and roll is brilliantly encapsulated by this melancholic masterpiece. WHEN I WAS A YOUNGSTER, RIZZLE KICKS One for the freshers going to Jesus May Ball, and the rest of us looking forward to summer. BODY THE BEAT, MATICULOUS FT. RUSTE JUXX, RA & ROCK For those of you wondering where the hip hop is at, here’s a less mainstream effort. Give it a listen, Rock goes in hard on the final verse. Dench. SETTLE DOWN, KIMBRA Some difficult decisions were made as to what should make it onto the mixtape, but this final track won over primarily because she’s very attractive. And she uses a loop machine. But most of all she’s very attractive.
Why don’t we care? Ashley Walsh on his decision to stand for Councillor, and why we need to start voting For the average Cambridge student, mention of University politics conjures images of pompous arts students berating their opponents on national partisan lines (as if I’m responsible for fiscal policy) or of CUSU dullards leading a shambolic march down King’s Parade. But not me! Student politics for me meant standing in the local elections for Cambridge City Council both this year and last. Now, be honest, as you struggled with the pressures of exam term, how much time did you devote to the local elections? Did you know that there were local elections? Do you know the policy areas for which local councillors are responsible? 6
If you answered ‘no’ to these questions, I don’t blame you. We student politicos don’t exactly make political engagement that appealing. When someone as politically dedicated as myself comes across most of the permanently loud-of-mouth and irritatingly pious who seem to comprise the local student commentariat, I have to think twice. And Council policy on recycling complex plastics or congestion on arterial roads is hardly The West Wing, is it? I can see why so few students turn out, but I also think that the only way to improve the political landscape in the University is actually to do something about it. And what could be easier than voting? It’s quick, simple, and you only need to do it once a year. If we voted en masse, we might be able to elect representatives who bother to communicate with us, find out our concerns, and maintain contact with us. This student apathy speaks also to a larger problem. Okay, question time again: how many of us have used the word ‘townie’? How many of us have watched a verbal fracas or even an altercation (I love that word) between students and residents outside Wetherspoons? How many of us have said that we should get priority because the University was here first?
There is a problem between ‘town’ and ‘gown’, and I believe that the problem is of our creation. First, as a historian about to be an unemployed former historian, I can tell you that we weren’t here first. As a student candidate and card-carrying pompous politico, I can tell you that if more students voted then the residents might tolerate us a little more! Residents essentially give us free run of the town centre for thirty weeks a year, they let us drink and loiter on their streets, they let us overtake them on our bikes when we shouldn’t; perhaps we ought to contribute more to the quality of life in Cambridge. Voting is the easiest way to do this.
Did you vote in the Cambridge Council Elections? 42% Yes 58% No
Editors’ note As students we are supposed to be at our most radical, our most active. Yet political activism among young people has stagnated. Our parents’ glory days marching for CND seem remote. Since the last General Election, Nick Clegg has gained noteriety amid accusations that he has betrayed students by supporting the rise in University fees. If these are our politicians, perhaps it is understandable that students seem to have resigned themselves to the status quo. Despite the fact that our poll was put up on Facebook (every student’s haven of procrastination), and that we went to great lengths to harrass people into taking it, we noticed a distinct indifference. Only 28 people voted. Considering that our student body is 450-strong, this is disconcerting. Perhaps the worst thing is that this was expected.
We sat outside the library for a half hour period one Sunday evening, and,
Chase Feiger MA in Management Shirt - Ralph Lauren Jeans - Diesel Shoes - Tods
Arjun Sajip 1st year Historian T-shirt - Animal Chinos - M & S Slippers - BHS
Louise Benson 3rd year English Coat - Charity shop T-shirt - Charity shop Trousers - Cos Bag - Portabello Market Jellies - Ebay
aside from some disgruntled finalists, this is what came along the path...
Siobhán Forshaw 3rd year English Coat - Friend’s auntie’s Jumper - Charity shop Dress - Charity shop Rucksack - Dad’s Shoes - Ebay
Kate Edwards 1st year English Cardigan - Charity shop Denim shirt - Tesco Skirt - Primark Shoes - Topshop Bag - Primark
Sam Arnold 1st year Engineer Hat - North Face T-shirt - Next Trackies - Jack Wills Flip flops - Havaianas
A Life Stolen Georgina Phillips reports on the worrying rise of human trafficking in Nepal Human trafficking is more lucrative than the trade in arms or narcotics - millions of women and girls in the past few decades have been trafficked worldwide, generating an annual turnover of approximately seven billion dollars. In Nepal, one of the factors which make trafficking so easy is the relatively porous border with its neighbour India. Indian citizens do not need a visa to enter Nepal and vice versa, making travelling across the border extremely easy. Because of this it is believed that human trafficking across this border is in fact easier than trafficking illegal goods. Girls and women that are trafficked from Nepal are usually taken from the poorest regions, where families are large and often struggling, and where female literacy is especially low. Therefore, when these women are offered jobs by procurers in cities such as Mumbai, it is often too great a temptation to refuse or their families encourage them to do it. These women become indentured to the brothel owners via the up-front sum they or their families pay before arriving, which can take decades to repay. 0OFPGUIFLFZXBZTPGCSFBLJOHUIJTDZDMFJTUISPVHIFEVDBUJPOoJGHJSMT in Nepal are educated they are less likely to be vulnerable to traffickers or to turn to this indentured labour. Female literacy in Nepal is currently at 34.9%. Charities like HVP run schools throughout Nepal, in both urban Kathmandu and in poorer, rural areas for both boys and girls. They also provide hostels so children who are unable to access education locally can stay near their schools. This summer I will be teaching at the Kathmandu-based school. For more information see: www.hvp-nepal.org, or for donations: www.justgiving. com/Georgina-Phillips
The Salvation Army is a Christian church and a registered charity No. 214779. We are a church and an extensive provider of welfare & community services. In Cambridge you can find our Church building at 3 Tenison Road. Our activities include a Sunday service at 10am, and a monthly Community Gospel Choir. We have a Community Centre around the corner at 104 Mill Road. Inexpensive breakfasts and lunches are served here Monday to Friday, with WiFi access. Our popular Charity Shop is nearby at 44a Mill Road. It is an emporium where you can find almost anything. Regular stock ranges from inexpensive furniture to specialist arctic clothing. Why not drop in and say hello? You would be most welcome. Website: www.camsa.org.uk
A Notorious Visitation
I am a dissolute student My room is a canyon of papers; Prescription drugs, ink cartridges, And the slit shards of champagne flutes Line my disparate desk A human skull sits on my windowsill Placed on permanent loan by the manic medic Who took me as her college husband. It’s 3 am, my essay on Hamlet’s self-consciousness is due for a supervision in 6 hours I just had a vision of my supervisor, Lashing at my essay with red pen While screaming at me and shaking her cruel-black wig: Woven from the plaits of Ecuadorian Orphans. I stare into the void of my laptop screen. In my terror, I cry: “Why, Lord of poetry, hast thou forsaken me?!”
But lo! In my desperation, the ceiling splits asunder! rain storms in! And The Notorious B.I.G, the immortal, corpulent, East-coast rapper Descends from the everlasting realm of poets. On landing he hands me a type-written manuscript, Delivered from his close friend, the Bard himself, With his compliments. Then, again he ascends through the gaping roof. Head nodding to a funkalicious beat, Chanting his own thoughts on Hamlet And self-consciousness: “Straight up homie no need to ask him Most of these fellas think he be macking, but he be acting” Invaluable wisdom that will escape me, come morning.
I MET HER UNDER
MODELS STYLING PHOTOGRAPHY
A GOLDEN SKY
SHANNON KEEGAN & RUTH WOOD KRISTINA BUGEJA BETH OPPENHEIM
LANGUID SUMMER DAYS CALL FOR NONCHALANCE. CHOOSE FABRICS TO FLOAT AROUND IN AND ACCESSORISE WITH A REGAL TOUCH.
Aside from the misery and dread which characterise Easter Term, love is also in the air at Downing, as the first years are still in Honeymoon mode. Following Wedding Formal on the 12th of May, we decided to learn a bit more about our happy couples (taking no responsibility for any subsequent divorces). Claire, an architect, and Andrew, a medic, met in slops, where their love blossomed. Claire was delighted with Andrew’s proposal, which showed his romantic side: “a friend tricked me into going for ‘tea’ in her room… I suspected nothing, but there were 20 people there! Then Andrew was there with a teddy and flowers, and said ‘this is the REAL reason you are here’, and proposed!”
When did you know that he/she was the one? Claire: When he sat with me at slops even though I am the slowest eater in the world. Andrew: When I first locked gazes with her… It just felt right when I peered into the depths of her pure azure eyes. It was love at first sight. Just kidding! What is your idea of a romantic evening? C: If slops lasted ‘til 8pm… A: A trip to the cinema followed by a nice dinner would be romantic, as long as she doesn’t keep pennying me! (She pennies everything, water, coffee, alcohol… it’s like she wants me to stay in the toilet…) Who wears the trousers? A: She does (unfortunately). I wasn’t even consulted on whether or not I’d like to participate in this interview! Their most annoying habit? C: Being good at everything... A: She takes ages to finish her food. Have you ever resorted to physical violence in your relationship? C: Not yet.... A: /POFFEoWFSCBMBCVTFJTTVGmDJFOU
What would you do if your partner had an affair? C: Demand permanent custody of Teddy! A: 3FKPJDF*UXPVMEQSPWJEFUIFQFSGFDUHSPVOETGPSEJWPSDFoUIF6,EPFTOU seem to accept “irreconcilable differences” as valid grounds for divorce, but adultery works! Chance of getting married in real life? C: Sorry Andrew, but pretty small. A: Awkward Turtle. Some people say you shouldn’t mix business and pleasure, but that hasn’t proved a problem for Chris and Rachel, both first year medics. Chris’ proposal was in keeping with the classy, low key nature of their relationship: drunk, in Cindies, and involving a third party. Rachel says: “From the moment the DJ read out the proposal and we danced to our first song as man and wife (‘Bad Touch’ by The Bloodhound Gang), we knew we would be together forever (six years if we both pass our exams).” When did you know that he/she was the one? Chris: When, in the technicolour Ent in fresher’s week, she was one of the first to get up and dance; I could tell she had few inhibitions and didn’t care what others thought. I liked that. Rachel: When he drank vodka out of a bowl because it seemed like a good idea at the time. What do you love most about each other? C: Her wide range of facial expressions, great sense of humour, powerful dress sense and that she can take and give banter. Also she knows more than me so I can take advantage of her knowledge. R: The fact that even though in the first week I asked him if he would read me bedtime stories in his accent, he still wanted to marry me. What is your idea of a romantic evening? C: Romantic meal in Nana Mexico, then a quiet evening in looking over anatomy together, before going to Life. R: Nana Mexico.
Their favourite mode of procrastination? C: Getting into bed with the Griffin editors and posting pictures on facebook. Have you ever resorted to physical violence in your relationship? C: Had no choice... she got out of line... and the kitchen. R: He was jealous of my moves in Life so he head-butted me in the face. True story.
Chance of getting married in real life? C: Maybe I am being premature, but when I took those vows in formal hall I meant them for life. I can really see us getting a house somewhere along the North coast of Ireland and settling down. Two kids, Rachel and Chris Junior, and a dog called Luke, a cat called Vikesh and a turtle named Alex. I haven’t really put much thought into it but I would like that. R: God no. Both Linguists of sorts, Ellie does MML and Reece is a Classicist, and both residents of L Staircase, their relationship was in many ways destined to be: “We met on the first day of Freshers’ Week,” says Reece, “Ellie and I quickly grew closer, culminating in me stripping naked on Parker’s Piece and presenting everything to her. Everything being a cake with a ring in it, anyway. Cello strains melted into the cool night air, and the ‘Be Mine’ message in green icing clung forcefully to my chest hair: it was a beautiful moment.” When did you know that he/she was the one? Reece: When I saw her mother. If that old adage about daughters growing up to look like their mothers is true, then... damn. Ellie: When he ran around the kitchen wearing nothing but Lycra shorts and my ‘Wonder Woman’ apron.
How would you describe your relationship? E: Almost consensual. Who wears the trousers? R: Well, I was naked for the proposal, and DCRUFC discourages extended periods of wearing clothes, so it’s very likely that she’s the only one wearing anything whatsoever. What celebrity couple are you most like? R: Hmm... tough one. I’d say Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, because when she’s wearing high heels I look like a real manlet. E: I’m not sure there is anyone quite like us. Their most annoying habit? R: Not that it’s her own fault as such, but having to protect her from sharks on nights out is a weary business. It puts me in danger from fat birds in Cindies. E: He regularly clicks all his joints, when he knows I hate it. If you argue, what do you argue about? R: It’s a rare occasion when Ellie and I argue. Generally, it’s simply her getting ‘emotional’ and picking fault where none is to be found. Such is the curse of the weaker sex. E: His behaviour when drunk. Have you ever resorted to physical violence in your relationship? R: In order to exact my rights as a married man, yes. Rights such as ‘getting to slops on time’, anyway. E: Yes, in order to avoid too much physical contact. What would you do if your partner had an affair? E: Deny him angel delight forever more. Chance of getting married in real life? R: Ha...no. I love Ellie to pieces, but her Southern sensibilities would never align with my Northern rough-and-ready charm. That said, I wish her nothing but the best, and hope she sticks around for the foreseeable. E: It would spoil this fantastic partnership.
A Right to Education Veena Srirangam informs us of India’s move towards universal education The Indian Parliament passed the long-awaited Right to Education Act, which ensured that the State shall provide free and compulsory education to all children between the ages of six and fourteen. Basic needs are frequently prioritised over the education of children, especially if there is a feeling that more can be achieved by sending them into employment. The Act came into force in April 2010 and, while the measures that it seeks to implement are still under way, the work done by NGOs and education shelters still plays a huge role. I will be working in an education centre in Delhi run by a non-profit organisation called Project Why for two months this summer. Project Why set up its very first shelter in 2000 and has since branched out to teach over 700 children in four centres in Delhi. India’s literacy rate is currently at a promising 74% but there are still issues which the Act has failed to address. For instance, pre-schoolers aged under six are not included in the scheme, which is one of the reasons that Project Why’s ‘Early Education centre’ remains an important part of their work. However, even though it appears at this stage as though the Act has failed to address the basic causes of poor literacy rates, it is a step in the right direction. As long as the work of NGOs and organisations like Project Why continues to support the programmes introduced by the government, the longterm impact of the Act will be positive. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and perhaps that itself is reason to rejoice.
Using a blue-ribbon manual camera, and digital rewind for multiple exposures, Sarah Fox shows us Cambridge filtered through a new lens.
Worried that you will be bored now that exams have finished? EXHIBITION
Material Matters: The Power of Medium The Courtauld til June 2013. This anniversary exhibition explores the material boundaries of art created in the years since the show’s inception. With artists from four continents exhibiting works ranging in material diversity from soap to stained glass, The Courtauld again demonstrates the value of the East Wing Collection in its continued expansion into new media and new audiences for cutting-edge artistic developments.
Crow The Greenwich & Docklands Festival, 18 June-7 July The Puppet Handspring company breathe new theatrical life into Ted Hughes’ mythic Crow poems, combining ingenious puppetry (last seen in the National’s ‘War Horse’) with choreography by Ben Duke in a dance theatre performance. For the first time ever, The Greenwich and Docklands International Festival will bring the spirit of the outdoors inside a building.
The Rolling Stones 50 Publication date 12 June. The Stones have finally grouped together to write their story. With privileged access to more than 1,000 illustrations, it also features some unseen and rare Stones photographs, outtakes, contact sheets and memorabilia in existence. Sure to please any Stones fan.
Beasts of the Southern Wild Release date 27 June. In a Louisiana community, a young girl and her father must battle for survival against poverty, apocalyptic floods and prehistoric beasts. The magic-realist feature film debut from director Benh Zeitlin went on to win the Grand Jury Prize at the Cannes festival.
The Midnight Run, Inua Ellams “Cause we can’t see stars for fumes we turn to smashed glass, believing shards shine like constellations do.”
Svengali by Derren Brown, 12 July - 11 August The Novello Theatre My friend went to the last Derren Brown show and phoned me to try out a trick on me. “Picture a 3-digit number. What is the number?”, “101”, I replied. Little did I know, Derren Brown and The GARRICK were bloody listening. Then Brown came on the phone, having got the first guess wrong. Same question, answer “433”. I got it wrong both times, then Brown gave my friend a ten pound note. Inside, was a message saying: “I WILL MAKE HIM SAY THIS NUMBER” with an arrow pointing to the serial number which was 101433. He still has the note on his wall.
The Journey Home Radhanath Swami This is the story of a teenager turned yogi who turned his relatively comfortable life upside down in pursuit of spiritual fulfillment. Radhanath Swami guides the reader along his epic journey from the States to India, bundling from country to country with little to no money, weaving sad and hilarious anecdotes together against the backdrop of a man seeking his place in life.
The Room, 21 July &17 August The worst film ever made? Yes. One of the best films ever made? Yes. It features sex scenes for more than five minutes with pretty gruesome shots duplicated, and the worst acting you will ever see. At the Prince Charles cinema, sporadic shouts of “what happened to the cancer!?” can be heard (a woman announces she has cancer, her daughter chirps “you’ll be fine”, and it’s NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN). I could go on, but this has to be seen to be believed.
This is an atypical exhibition of real life, a walk (it’s called a ‘run’ because he thinks it sounds more exciting) from 6pm to 6am through the deserted streets of London. You are met with poetry readings, musical performances, theatre, drink, food and dance along the way, with each walk tailored to the individuals on it. And I can’t speak highly enough of the man himself, Inua Ellams - he is a poet, graphic artist, playwright and actor.
Don’t fear... The Griffin is here to guide you through this difficult time. EXHIBITION
The Search for Immortality: Tomb Treasures of Han China This exhibition at the Fitz runs until November, so could make an interesting diversion for those of you who come back early. This fascinating collection of artifacts charts the Han dynasty’s obsession with death, and gives an insight into Chinese concepts of the afterlife. Come also to witness a simply outrageous coffin made from 1781 individual pieces of jade.
Matilda The Cambridge Theatre Roald Dahl’s timeless novel is now a West End stage show, with music composed by everyone’s favourite Australian comedian, Tim Minchin. Currently showing at the Cambridge Theatre (topical) in London, it’ll make you laugh, cry, and hate yourself for not being even slightly as talented as the children on stage.
1Q84 Haruki Murakami This three-part novel, released late last year, is the most recent publication by Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. It’s got a lot to offer, namely over a thousand pages of sex, violence, intrigue, jazz, and a typically Murakamisized helping of reality distorting existential weirdness. Alternatively, if you’re a Murakami virgin and it all sounds a bit too much, try ‘Norwegian Wood’ instead. Just don’t expect to feel too good about yourself afterwards.
The Shawshank Redemption Stephen King This film is neither new nor relevant to this summer, but every time I have to admit that I haven’t seen it (which is annoyingly often), I’m met with a reaction of surprise, and usually disgust. Honestly, they’d be less annoyed if I were to kick a penguin to death. So, if you too haven’t seen this film, take advantage of your time off, get the DVD, and save yourself the hassle of having to put up with your friends’ outraged disbelief.
AL FRESCO DINING: Slops goes large... Out on the Paddock. LIBRARY EVACUATION: Dont. Look. Back. EURO 2012 DEJA VU: Was that Croatia, or the Czech Republic?
SUMMER LOVIN: Where dem girls at? BANK BALANCES: Wyverns, Tribe ... They’re all taking their toll. LIVER CAPACITY: See above.
W1 rowing to victory at Champs Head.
Rowing ZARA GOOZEE REPORTS ON THIS TERM’S ROWING
With the beginning of the summer regatta season, afternoon outings and the promise of sunny weather, Easter term is the highlight of every Cambridge rower’s calendar. In addition, with the boat races completed, college crews are strengthened by the return of their University triallists. This leads to a faster-paced and more competitive atmosphere on the Cam. W1, yet again, began the term with the ultimate prize to defend: The Mays Headship. The term started well for the women’s squad, with W1 finishing second in the Head of the Cam race, and W2 putting down a strong time. However, the term really took off for the women’s squad with the return of our two Cambridge triallists. Following this, W1 found enough speed to convincingly set the best time at Champs Head, despite a worsening headwind during our division. W2 also benefited from the added drive mid-term, putting down one of the best W2 times, and challenging a number of first boats who they’ll be chasing in Bumps. On the men’s side, DCBC has put out three senior men’s crews this term. Consistent strong results throughout the three crews shows a promising depth to the squad, and have provided exciting
predictions for Bumps. All three crews put down decent times in the Head of the Cam, with M1 beating St John’s, who were close competition in Lent term. Following this success, M1 raced at Wallingford Regatta, a multi-lane regatta which took place at Dorney Lake, the venue set to host all rowing events in the 2012 Olympics. M1 held their own against many larger clubs and more experienced crews, putting in an impressive performance and making the semi-finals. All men’s crews raced again in Champs Head, producing competitive times. However, with all boats surrounded by strong crews in Bumps, there will be no lack of exciting, closely fought racing. As the Griffin goes to press, Downing boats will again be taking to water, in a strong position to put in some excellent performances in Bumps. W1 will be hoping to cement their dominance on the river, whilst M1 seek to show theirs by taking the men’s headship from Caius. M2 will be looking to bump up into Division 1, whilst W2 are looking to retain their position in Division 2. Finally, M3 and the Rugby boat both look primed for a week of success. Following a hugely successful Lent campaign, with no Downing boat having been bumped, let’s hope we’ll be celebrating just as much this week.
HENRY MARSHALL REPORTS ON SWIMMING CUPPERS This year, Downing only entered a men’s team into Swimming Cuppers 2012. The heats proved to be less straightforward than hoped. Qualification came easily to Ben Carr and Naoya Iwata in their individual events, yet some meaty competition prevented Vipin Kumar qualifying in the 100m individual medley (one length of each stroke). This put the squad in a vulnerable position for the final. The team did however breeze into the final in both the relays, despite Trinity getting up in their grill; in the pool they proved themselves to be all chat and no action. When finals day came, John’s were scared. Their captain had forced them to shave down (legs, chest, arms etc.) hoping they could shave off enough seconds to beat their major competition (us). In the 100m breaststroke, Ben Carr swam out of his skin to beat John’s at the touch. Vipin Kumar climbed four places from his qualifying position to finish in third place in the 100m backstroke. Felix Wood provided a committed swim in the
DCU is looking to round off its fifth year as a College club with its best ever performance in College League and Summer Cuppers. After recent successes from mixed ability squads in Michaelmas and Lent (including the club’s highest ever finish at Winter cuppers), Downing entered one combined team in this exam term. After winning every match, bar one, and an extremely hard-fought victory against Churchill Chillies in the semi-finals, they are currently one match away from UPQQJOHUIFMFBHVFoPOMZMPOHTUBOEJOH rivals ARU Darkside remain in their way. Players who started in Michaelmas are now
100m freestyle, stepping in to compete at the last minute. An unfortunate slip of the goggles lost him at least 20 seconds, and resulted in him touching in sixth place. The relays were where the Downing boys showed their fitness and finesse. Jack Long, Henry Marshall and Andy Corley provided strong swims. In the freestyle relay the boys were up against it, down about four and a half metres after the first swimmer. Long gained a couple of metres, Marshall caught up TPJ (he is real) by another metre and a half, leaving Corley with the last metre to catch-up in a nail biting head to head against the John’s captain. Despite Corley’s freestyle blue, it was only at the touch when Downing clinched it, beating John’s by a tenth of a second. If your definition of ‘winning’ in sport is ‘the team with the most points’ then technically, despite Downing taking the relays, John’s won. If your definition is ‘the team with the most camaraderie and the most impressive performances’ then it was Downing who dominated the competition.
ANDREW AVERY looking more than competent and the club has decided to enter a beginner’s team into Summer Cuppers, under the affectionate title of Downing Gryphlets (coined by a similarly experienced squad who entered and exceeded all expectations last year) as well as a Gryphons squad that are more than capable of winning the entire tournament. A strong performance from Gryphlets and some hard work from Gryphons here would firmly establish Downing College as the dominant force in Cambridge Ultimate, making the club’s fifth year its best year so far by a long way.
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