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MIR ROR 2.14.2018

A LOVE LETTER TO DARTMOUTH | 3

MEET DARTMOUTH'S SEXPERTS | 6

CO-CONSTRUCTED IDENTITY: BEST FRIEND LOVE | 7 SAMANTHA BURACK/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF


2 //MIRR OR

Editors’ Note

Mirror Asks: Valentine’s Edition Do you believe in love at first sight? Chris Cartwright ’21: Yes, in certain occasions. For my parents it was the opposite: They met on a staircase and my dad (’90) thought my mom (’88) was pretty nosy at first, so obviously it took time for that relationship to develop. And yet they’re still married after 25 years! Annie Farrell ’21: No. That’s like saying an apple is your one-and-only snack, but you’ve never even eaten an apple before. You need to get a taste of an apple before you can say you love apples. Zachary Gorman ’21: Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time. Cappy Pineau-Valencienne ’19: No. Timothy Yang ’21: YES! Love at first sight exists. Maybe not common for both ways but love at first sight exists when people are attracted not only by the looks but also personality Carolyn Zhou ’19: No, that’s merely lust. What’s the strangest love of a thing that you have? CC: I really love Halloween — and every fall get obsessed with decorating and celebrating and all of that jazz (just ask my floor mates). I definitely don’t look like the type of person who’d obsess over the holiday, though. AF: My blue blanket on my bed. It’s so good to me. ZG: I unironically love the “Star Wars” prequels. Sue me, nerds. CPV: Murder TV Shows.

MICHAEL LIN/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

February 14th, more famously known as “Singles Awareness Day.” Two days ago, you were probably frantically searching online for overnight flower delivery or wandering the aisles of CVS for chocolate fancier than Kit Kat bars. And today is the big day: you’ve called ahead to Pine to only hear that the ealiest dinner reservation possible is 9:30 p.m. You’re cursing your unrelenting professors for assigning loads of projects and tests — week 7 doesn’t stop for anything, even love. However, on this Valentine’s Day the Mirror urges you to stop and let love in. Look around. It is around you. It’s in the long KAF line, deep in the stacks of Baker Berry, maybe even in fraternity basements. This Valentine’s Day, the Mirror explores the many facets of love: the physical versus the spiritual, the familial versus the romantic and the serious versus the casual. Explore how much love can withstand, how it’s celebrated and where it hides in our daily lives.

CZ: My Spotify account. I have over 90 carefully curated playlists, and the list keeps growing. What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard of someone doing for love? CC: I feel like love is like a roller coaster and that both the highs and lows can drive a person to do some pretty strange things — I’ve never met someone who’s experienced strange stuff before, at least. AF: Yes. My roommate knows someone that asked his girlfriend to prom with plane tickets to Paris to go along with the “A Night in Paris” prom theme. TY: Love does drive people crazy. Craziest thing? Probably sacrificing their own wellbeing or even their lives just for love. What is the best valentine you’ve ever received? CC: Best valentine? Hmm … I don’t know — ­­­ I always just love getting candy if my friends have extra. I guess I’ve never really had a proper valentine. AF: Postmates gave me free food delivery last Valentine’s Day. TY: A whole day spent with my love interest. Three words to describe your love life: CC: 404 Not Found AF: Now accepting flitzes. ZG: What love life?. Who’s your campus crush?

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CC: Hahahaha my lips are sealed! AF: James Yeagley ’21. Let him know.

2.14.18 VOL. CLXXIV NO. 181

CZ: The person who responds to Dartmouth Dining Services texts. At least they always text back.

MIRROR EDITORS MARIE-CAPUCINE PINEAUVALENCIENNE CAROLYN ZHOU EDITOR-IN-CHIEF RAY LU PUBLISHER PHILIP RASANSKY EXECUTIVE EDITOR ERIN LEE PHOTO EDITORS TIFFANY ZHAI MICHAEL LIN

CORRECTIONS We welcome corrections. If you believe there is a factual error in a story, please email editor@thedartmouth. com for corrections. Correction Appended (Feb. 13, 2018): The Feb. 13 column “Shah: It’s Been a Slice” has been updated to reflect that, according to a written statement from West Lebanon Domino’s owner Keith Bell, Domino’s pizzas are not premade.


A Love Letter To Dartmouth FEATURE

By Laura Jeliazkov

Dear Old Dartmouth, You school us, you shelter us, you feed us and you clothe us. We find solace in the solemn echo of your high-ceilinged hallways. We stand at the bottom of your hills of granite in awe. Your Green is a perfect rectangle and the spires of your library are impeccably conical. Your constellations glitter like diamonds in that never-ending, pitch-black New England sky. A glorious smell of morning coffee reliably wafts through the library to greets us before class … But Dartmouth, we really must say: What. Is. Up. What is up with that KAF line? Who has time to stand in a line of such length? It is a wonder that any of us get our coffee at all. Yes, there’s Novack, but that’s just Novack. People only like Novack to be contrary. And then there’s the Hop line, too. How are we supposed to keep up with the term’s fast pace and long stride, if we are caught standing in line all day? How are we supposed to get our daily chicken sandwich? Are we supposed to get a daily chicken sandwich? Apples are red; blueberries are blue … Old misers are stingy — and so, sometimes, are you! Five dollars and fifty cents for a cup of fruit? One banana per person from Foco? Really, Dartmouth, you conspire to break my heart. Why must your classes be so rigorous? Why must they move so quickly? Why must you be in such a rush? To do what, or to get where, I do not know. You pull us from bed before the crack of dawn to go to drill lessons. The alarm clocks go off, one-by-one, up and down your dormitory building halls … and then do not go off. No one has the strength to answer your calls. Your tower bells start their gentle tolling, then, to attempt to shake the sleep from our shoulders with notes more soothing. Still no one responds. You kept us up all night with your nonsensical papers and problem sets — what do you need us for, again, now? (Oh, and I really should tell you — you keep missing notes in the alma mater. You should practice more.) We cannot understand what you do with all of those research papers you have us write. We hope at least that you save them, that you put them aside — perhaps in a nice little box, perhaps in an album. We hope that you write, “Our First Due Date,” on the back. The standards to which you hold us are most impressive – and most excessive. The myriad opportunities that you present us with, also, are so. You cannot possibly expect us to jump on them all. How do we know which to choose and which to pass? Can you not provide more guidance? Do you not think that perhaps you expect too much of us? Why can we never be enough for you? Who are these people whom you select? You are such a small school, Dartmouth. You press everyone together so that we know each other’s faces … and each other’s laptop stickers and each other’s hats and each other’s hangouts and each other’s friends and each other’s habits and each other’s rumors … Sometimes there’s no escape. We think, frankly, Dartmouth that we may need some new date ideas. We do the same things, night after night. Put on the shoes, put on the jacket, go to the party, stand outside of the party, get into the party, play the games, see the people, give the hugs, talk the talks, walk the walks, get home, take off the jacket, forget to take off the shoes. Something needs to be spiced up. We feel that we may be in a rut. We remember — you remember too, do you not? ­­— all the good times we have shared. We remember those days of picnics and bare feet on the warm grass and smiles. But now things, honestly, have gotten a bit dark. If you would only agree to try something new once in a while, Dartmouth! Perhaps the sun could shine again! Though, now we realize, this is unlikely. What is this winter that you set upon us, Dartmouth? You really do block the sun from shining, you have made the trees bare and the sky desolate; you make us wake to yet more flurries flailing across the grey windowpane. We trudge against the winds of your icy breath; we stagger and sink to our knees in your cold. We slip brutally on the ice. We land on your hard, unforgiving granite. And yet we just cannot resist the beauty: that heavy silence of a snow blanketing your campus in the night. The stunning ice formations hanging from the rafters. The untouched perfection of a snowy mountaintop. You will freeze our very hearts. Apples are red; blueberries are blue. One tends to be what one is — and such are you. We hate how little time we have left together. Most sincerely, A long lost lover.

MIRROR //3


4// MIRROR

The Beginning of Something New STORY

By Nikhita Hingorani

Valentine’s Day is officially upon oldest priesthood in Rome. Two us. As the one day entirely dedicated of the Luperci would approach to love, the 14th of February is the sacrificial altar and have their highly anticipated around the foreheads touched by a bloody world, and Dartmouth’s campus knife. Their foreheads were then is no exception. Conveniently wiped off by wool dipped in milk situated in the lull following as a purification step, and the men midterm stress, Valentine’s Day were obliged to laugh during the has been celebrated in various process. When the ritual was over, ways around campus by single naked women were hit by hides students and couples alike. As of the sacrificed animals, thus the means of confessing feelings deeming them fertile. have evolved from messages in As the Roman Empire became the newspaper to serenades by more Christian, however, the the marching band, students’ raunchy holiday was transformed perceptions and celebrations of into one honoring St. Valentine. the holiday have evolved over time He was a priest during the reign of as well. Nonetheless, Valentine’s Emperor Claudius II, who banned Day has been and always will be all marriages and engagements in an exciting time on campus. Rome in order to get more men to To this day, the origins of join his military leagues. Valentine Valentine’s p e r f o r m e d D a y a r e "I'm figuring out marriages in secret still unclear. during the ban, but where I stand as Legend has was soon executed it that the a person now and for his actions on h o l i d a y where I want to be in the date of Feb. 14. roots from At Dartmouth, the ancient the future." it is safe to say R o m a n that celebrations fertility o f Va l e n t i n e ’ s -ASHLEY SONG '21 r i t u a l Day are a little known as less extreme. Now, Lupercalia. teddy bears and Each Feb. 15 chocolate boxes began with a are the new norms, sacrifice of with a nice dinner a dog and thrown in the mix a goat to to really woo that Lupercus, special someone. a fertility god, by the Luperci, Native Americans at Dartmouth who were members of one of the is celebrating the holiday through

JEE SEOB JUNG/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

JEE SEOB JUNG/THE DARTMOUTH SENIOR STAFF

a celebration called “Secret NADmirers.” Steven Jump ’21, a member of NAD, is excited to exchange gifts with other members this year. “It’s open to anybody that wanted to participate — think a Secret Santa but for Valentine’s Day,” Jump said. “I think this simple activity is a good way to really get to know more about people that you might not know already, with small things like their favorite candy. It’s just a nice way to celebrate the holiday if you don’t have a significant other.” Beyond celebrating love, various groups on campus are holding Valentine’s Day-themed events and fundraisers this year to promote a greater cause. She’s the Fir st is hand delivering chocolate roses, and all proceeds go towards girls’ education in Ethiopia. Dartmouth Quest for Socioeconomic Engagement is selling roses and teddy bears to support the Ferst Foundation for Childhood Literacy. This past Sunday, trumpets and cymbals were heard across campus as the Dartmouth College Marching Band delivered “Bandy Grams” to students, a fundraising effort the band initiated last February. Alexandre Hamel ’21 was in charge of Bandy Grams this year. “Bandy Grams are like candy grams, but with music,” Hamel said. “The process of sending one is really simple: fill out a form, pick a location and we’ll play the song for the person. We have a

list of fun songs to choose from, like ‘My Girl’ and ‘Build Me Up Buttercup.’” At a price, Bandy Grams were a major success this year, and many students had to be put on a waitlist as the 12 slots quickly filled up. Students could hear Bandy Grams in action throughout campus, from Novack to the Hopkins for the Arts. For many single students, though, Valentine’s Day is usually just an overlooked time in the midst of a busy quarter, especially because dating is seeming ly uncommon at Dartmouth. Today, there is a plethora of dating apps that students can utilize to meet new people and potentially solve this problem, but what about the period before the creation of Tinder and Bumble? Taking a look back in time reveals how one student decided to take matters into her own hands in order to promote love on campus. April Whitescarver ’96 offered a matchmaking service every February during her time as a student, which began simply by getting her friends together with the people that they were interested in. This soon grew to a service that matched over 50 pairs of students together. In a Feb. 14, 1997 article published in The Dartmouth, Whitescarver said that a healthier “dating environment” was needed and that the matchmaking service was “an interesting start.” For other students, the month of February is not so much a time to obsess over affection and finding

love; rather, it’s perceived as a crucial point of one’s Dartmouth career: marking to the middle of winter term. Jason Greer ’90 reflected upon his idea in “Personal reflections on Valentine’s Day” in the February 1989 issue of The Dartmouth. “First of all, I have time to spend reflecting, since I am right between rounds of midterms,” he wrote. “But both the term and the school year are a little more than halfway over, so it’s a good time to see where I’m going academically and where I’ve been. Even today, these thoughts are prevalent among various students of all years. Ashley Song ’21 shared similar sentiments as Greer. “Reflecting on my time at Dartmouth so far, winter term has given me a new perspective on what it’s like being an actual student here,” Song said. “I’m figuring out where I stand as a person now and where I want to be in the future. I think I’m over that initial freshman phase of just trying to figure college out.” Whether you’re celebrating today as Valentine’s Day or “Singles Awareness Day,” sending chocolates to your significant other or just treating yourself, going out to a romantic dinner or cramming for next week’s midterm, perhaps Greer said it best 29 years ago. “The purpose of this day is not to pay homage to events or people of the past, but to commemorate, to celebrate events or situations of the present,” he wrote.


Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder STORY

MIRROR //5

By Zachary Gorman

When you attend a college in the Xiao Li ’21 has begun to learn how to middle of nowhere, it might be difficult deal with the strain distance has put on to maintain a romantic relationship with her long-distance relationship. someone back home. Countless high “I think it’s a bit easier now with school romances are broken up not by modern technology because we can still personal differences, but by physical see each other, but not being physically distances. near each However, with other or having technolog y "If you don't actively intimate contact that allows make the time to talk with each other us to contact is really tough,” nearly anyone, to the other person, Li said. “Also, the anywhere, at it's really easy to time difference a n y t i m e, now is a really feel neglected or left the barriers big factor. One to making a hanging." of us has to long-distance c o m p e n s a t e. relationship Either he has to work have -XIAO LI '21 wake up earlier drastically or I have to stay decreased. up later so that Even at we can have a remote some time ... to school like actually talk to Dartmouth, these relationships are each other.” exceedingly common. Li will be the first to tell you that it College students in long-distance takes some serious effort to maintain such relationships have discovered some of a relationship. the ups and downs of the arrangement. “It definitely takes more work,” she

said. “A relationship, in general, takes work. But if you’re able to see each other every day, it’s less work. Now, you have all these other distractions. If you don’t actively make the time to talk to the other person, it’s really easy to feel neglected or left hanging. So you have to schedule in a part of your day to make time for the other person. If you’re in the same place, you can just spend that time together and study together. Here, that’s not really possible.” Scheduling time to talk seems to be a common tool that students use to make long-distance relationships more manageable. Savannah Miller ’21, who was in a long-distance relationship even before she came to Dartmouth, knows the effort it takes to schedule time for a partner. “Being in a long-distance relationship forces you to make time for that other person because it’s not like that other person can be with you during the day,” Miller said. “You have to make specific times to talk with them or Skype with them … [it] really makes you focus on communicating a lot more than you might in a traditional relationship where you’re

MIA ZHANG NACKE/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

close each other.” Any Dartmouth student knows all too well the hours of work that are necessary to succeed at this school. Unsurprisingly, it’s difficult for students to find time in their schedules for their significant others. Ricardo Serrano-Smith ’21 finds that balancing his work and his long-distance relationship can be tough. “[Coming to Dartmouth] has made it a lot harder,” Serrano-Smith said. “It’s harder to communicate with each other sometimes because my schedule is very hectic. We’re not able to FaceTime a lot and it’s a strain sometimes. But whenever we meet up it’s always very nice to be able to see her again.” While difficult, long-distance relationships have taught these students how to make the best of a tough situation. “[I’ve learned to] be inventive with the ways that you maintain the relationship when you’re apart,” Miller said. “Schedule Skype dates where you get the same kind of food and watch a movie or Netflix. Come up with playlists that you can listen to at the same time on Spotify. Find really inventive ways to stay connected to each other even when you’re far apart.” Long-distance relationships can reveal new communication issues that arise from partners’ personalities. In Li’s case, however, she has discovered how to reconcile the differing tendencies that could cause tension with her partner. “I’ve learned to really think about what the other person needs ... I don’t respond

to texts very well, but he likes when I check in throughout the day, so I just FaceTime him whenever I have time and talk to him a little bit,” Li said. “Or when I’m doing something, I can FaceTime him without talking to him and just do what I do with him in the background. That’s really helpful. I get distracted and busy in my day, and it’s really hard for me to have sit-down time. But by checking in every once in a while, it’s been good.” Their long-distance relationships have also given these students some valuable lessons about how to maintain healthy relationships. “I’ve learned to be patient and to trust her, and she’s learned to trust me,” Serrano-Smith said. There’s certainly a common notion that long-distance relationships can’t be long-term relationships. Relationships in which partners live near each other can often be regarded as more serious and long-lasting. This is one reason why so many students choose to end their healthy relationships when they move away to college. However, students in long-distance relationships have other ideas. “It does get kind of rough sometimes when you go weeks or months without seeing each other,” Miller said. “But just knowing that when you graduate you can start your own life together with your own goals and aspirations makes it all worth it.”

Miller is a member of The Dartmouth staff.


6 //MIRR OR

Meet Dartmouth’s Sexperts STORY

By Jacob Maguire

As Valentine’s Day approaches, Tong Fei, Dartmouth’s healthy Dartmouth’s Sexual Health Peer relationships and sexual health Educators, more commonly known specialist, oversees the Sexperts as Sexperts, have been busy. Not only program, which has existed at are the Sexperts currently working Dartmouth since approximately alongside staff members at Dick’s 2004, although it has been inactive House to host a series of testing for several years at different points sessions for sexually transmitted throughout the last decade. About infections at different locations 30 students are active Sexperts on around campus, but they are also campus, and they host several events planning and hosting the Pluralities on campus each term, including of Sexualities We d n e s d a y ’s Fair in Collis Pluralities of C o m m o n “Sexperts is a peer Sexualities Fair. Ground on education group that In addition, the Feb. 14 from Sexperts lead focuses on all things 12 to 4 p.m. several programs for O n related to sexual first-year students, S u n d a y health: sex, sexuality, a n d t h ey h e l p afternoon, direct students to S e x p e r t s sexual health and various on-campus B r o o k e sexual pleasure. We resources, such as Hilliard ’18 counseling sessions try to destigmatize and Ayana at Dick’s House, Whitmal ’18 talking about sex ...” HIV screening and we re b o t h programs at the busily making Student Wellness v a l e n t i n e s -BROOKE HILLIARD ’18 Center in Robinson and baking Hall. cookies at Phi Fe i , who Tau gender-inclusive fraternity earned her bachelor’s degree at in preparation for the fair. The the University of Missouri, and two seniors got involved with earned her master of social work Sexperts at the beginning of this at Washington University in St. year in conjunction with their Louis. She grew up in China, and responsibilities as undergraduate the high school that she attended advisors. The duties of being a UGA had no sexual education courses or required Hilliard and Whitmal to programs. participate in specialized training It is that lack of programming programs known as Continuing that has motivated her. Education Credits, and they both “In high school, we were not decided to become Sexual Health supposed to have relationships of Peer Educators. any kind, and our teachers did not “Sexperts is a peer education talk about sex, but students were group that focuses on all things definitely having it,” Fei said. “It was related to sexual health: sex, sexuality, stupid that my school did not provide sexual health information for and sexual students about p l e a s u r e , ” “In high school, we s a f e s ex , a n d Hilliard said. were not supposed China also does “We tr y to not permit legal destigmatize to have relationships abortion, so a talking about of any kind, and our few of my friends sex, and had no choice teachers did not talk we strive to but to terminate m a k e t h e s e about sex ... These u n w a n t e d conversations experiences led me pregnancies comfortable illegally. These ... to become a sex and fun.” experiences led W h i t m a l educator.” me to learn more emphasized about sexual that the education in Sexperts also -TONG FEI, DARTMOUTH’S college, eventually, m a k e s u r e HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS to become a sex to engage educator.” with students AND SEXUAL HEALTH UGAs Hilliard who are not SPECIALIST and Whitmal sexually active have been on campus. underg raduate “We don’t want to leave people adviors since their sophomore and who, for whatever reason, may junior years, respectively, and they not be sexually active out of the both became Sexperts this past fall. conversation,” said Whitmal, adding Completing the Sexperts training that abstaining from sex is perfectly has benefited them in carrying out acceptable. their duties as UGAs.

“I chose to become a Sexpert that the skills and knowledge because, throughout our training, that she gained during her sexual we didn’t really [discuss] how health training sessions has to have complemented conversations her other abilities with people “When many students and duties. about healthy come into college, they “Going through relationships [the Sexperts and safe sex,” are overwhelmed by training] has Hilliard said. the amount of social definitely helped “We learned to reinforce other freedom that they about sexual good aspects of a s s a u l t , have ... [having] these being a UGA, m a n d a t o r y types of discussions like facilitating reporting discussions, and Title IX [about sexual health] l i s t e n i n g d u r i n g o u r is important ...” effectively and UGA training, eng aging with and we offer students,” supplies for -AYANA WHITMAL ’18 Whitmal said. safer sex, but I “When many wanted to be able to have positive students come into college, they conversations with my students are overwhelmed by the amount about these other topics, so it was of social freedom that they have, in appealing to me.” addition to other types of freedom. Similarly, Whitmal has found [Being able] to have these types of

discussions [about sexual health] is important because it helps students transition into becoming more independent and having positive experiences with other people.” Fei leads two rounds of Sexperts training each year, and each student completes 25 to 30 hours of training per year. She is also hoping to foster a better sense of unity between the Sexperts, Sexual Assault Peer Advisors, the Sexual Violence Prevention Project, and Planned Parenthood Generation Action, which all work to eliminate sexual violence on campus. “I would definitely like to see and [bring about] better collaboration on campus between these similar and mostly studentled groups,” Fei said. “Together, we can make a connection between a comprehensive, healthy, and [ dy n a m i c ] s ex u a l e d u c at i o n program and a reduction in sexual violence.”

NAOMI LAM/THE DARTMOUTH STAFF

The Student Wellness Center’s Safer Sex Bar provides free safe sex supplies.


MIRROR //7

A Co-Constructed Cultural Identity: Best Friend Love STORY

Vanessa Smiley

We all know the pain of leaving international backgrounds. and just sat with us for an hour.” Yet, the very culture that these picked up her more chill demeanor.” a close friend. In fact, I daresay “What strengthened our friendship When they lived together during best friends unconsciously have Perhaps more striking, however, that most of us were embroiled in a was that we really suffered [with] their sophomore fall and winter, constructed from their similarities in is the hybrid cultural identity that ruthless game of tug-of-war before each other through the summer last Radulovacki and Xu would showcase turn shape them at a subconscious can emerge from intercultural coming to Dartmouth, torn between year,” Lit said. “We basically roomed their quirky personalities by dressing level. Sontag observes that she and friendships. the excitement of reinvention and together and slept on the same up in onesies. Raska have started to mimic each Lit said his friendship with Sezer the sorrow of shedding our old self, mattress on the floor in a disgusting “I have a panda onesie from my other’s mannerisms. consists of many insults exchanged complete with its crushes, its follies apartment ... for two months.” ‘big’ [sorority sister] and she has “[Raska] was born in New Jersey, jokingly between each other. and foibles and, more importantly, To make matters worse, their a sloth onesie,” Radulovacki said. and I picked up on a few things,” “[Sezer] swears a lot in Turkish,” all those people who reified if not living situation that summer was not “We’d put on our animal onesies and Sontag said. “She has too. She said Lit said. “And it’s rubbing off on me. constructed the person we once were. conducive to personal hygiene. go play pong or get some [mozzarella] y’all.” I swear in Turkish. It’s very bad stuff, We vowed to keep in touch, sure, “[Sezer] didn’t shower for three sticks from Collis, and we’d just sit Radulovacki has discerned a which shouldn’t be shared in English. to honor “Snapstreaks,” to call on weeks and smelled like s­—,” Lit said. there in our animal onesies doing similar phenomenon. It’s like an inside joke.” a daily, weekly or perhaps monthly Even so, Lit claims that their living our thing.” “[Xu] has definitely picked up some Sezen finds Lit’s attempts at Turkish basis, but no words could assuage arrangement, however cramped R a s k a of my idiosyncratic amusing. “There are definitely a lot that sinking feeling in our stomach, and unhygienic, strengthened their a n d “[Sezer] swears a lot expressions,” she said. of instances where I mimic [Lit’s] that squeezing pressure in our chests. friendship. Sontag, on “She definitely talks accent when he’s swearing in Turkish, Because deep down we knew that we Two strangers, one room ­— the other in Turkish, and it’s more like me.” his hand gestures,” Sezen added. would all change despite ourselves, they endured not just the stench h a n d , rubbing off on me. I She also notices The diverse nature of their insults that physical o f u n w a s h e d b o n d e d swear in Turkish. It’s herself becoming reveals the extent to which their distance was “What strengthened bodies but the over their more like Xu in cultural identity has transcended the first step accumulation of s h a r e d very bad stuff, which character. the individual differences between our friendship was to emotional small irritations r e l i g i o u s shouldn’t be shared in “ I a m b y their respective cultures, becoming d i s t a n c e that we really suffered inherent t o beliefs. nature very Type instead the synthesis of Hong Kong a n d t h a t [with] each other cohabitation. “We’re English.” A, very organized,” and Turkish ways of life. emotional T h o u g h b o t h R a d u l o v a c k i Culture, whether hybrid or d i s t a n c e through the summer frequency may be Christian admitted. “Sometimes homogenous, is at the heart of a -AARON LIT ’19 marked the last year.” a prerequisite for a n d w e I’ll text [Xu] at 4 p.m. best friendship; though this culture end of a the cultural identity joined the and she’s asleep. She affects people individually, the fact close bond. that takes root in same Bible course,” Raska said. has a lot of work ... and she’s just remains that it locates its origins Of course, -AARON LIT ’19 friendship insofar as Sontag noted that their shared napping.” in the bond between friends, such some of our it fosters a sense of values allow them to spend more Xu’s relaxed persona has that it takes two or more people to friendships familiarity between time together. influenced Radulovacki’s own keep the culture alive, to constantly may have managed to defy the people, it does not fully account for “We don’t necessarily feel like posture towards life. affirm and maintain this aspect of passage of time, but the temporality such an identity. Instead, once we we have to go out all the time “Her calm has just rubbed off each other’s identity. This explains of “best friendship” is a fact of life, are comfortable with another person, because we do have these Christian on me and made me realize that that sinking feeling, that squeezing objective and indisputable. So why we must pinpoint the core values values,” Sontag said. “We do share ... even if I don’t get all my things pressure: when we leave a friend, we the pain? Ironically, the answer may and activities a lot of the same done, sometimes I have to prioritize are bidding farewell to an integral lie not in the absence of another through which “I guess maybe social spaces like self-care,” Radulovacki said. “I have part of ourselves. person but in an absence within a shared Christian things so ourselves, because to lose a best friend culture can compassion and we’re usually there is to lose a cultural identity. emerge. loyalty are two things together.” Culture — the behavior and K a t i e If rituals, shared we bonded over, beliefs characteristic of a particular Radulovacki stories and symbols social, ethnic or age group and, ’ 1 9 , w h o besides the fact that I are some of the more importantly, the bedrock of d e v e l o p e d think she’s hilarious.” many markers of a best friendship. In the context a close bond culture, then Raska of friendship, cultural identity is w i t h D a i s y a n d S o n t a g ’s co-constructive: the individuals Xu ’19 during -KATIE RADULOVACKI ’19 friendship and involved in the friendship create their freshman Radulovacki and the foundation on which their bond s p r i n g , Xu’s friendship forms and then congeals, yet this same identified some are tantamount to culture in turn shapes their individual of the values that strengthened their a cultural identity. identities and, by implication, sense friendship. Raska and Sontag both bonded of self. “I guess maybe compassion and over a shared aspect of their identity­ This process begins with frequency loyalty are two things we bonded ­­— their faith — and then proceeded and proximity. Magdalena Raska over, besides the fact that I think she’s to participate jointly and regularly ’20 and Natalie Sontag ’20, who hilarious,” Radulovacki said. “To pat in activities such as Bible study first met during their freshman fall, myself on the back, she thinks I’m and other related events. Religious both identify the amount of time pretty funny too.” activities, then, became the rituals spent together as the origin of their These values became the hallmark that subsequently contributed to the friendship. of their friendship. During her formation of a cultural identity. “We were in the same biology class freshman winter, Radulovacki found Similarly, the values of compassion, in our freshman fall, and we [also] herself in the intensive care unit loyalty and humor form the basis happened to be assigned to the same of Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical of Raduvolacki and Xu’s cultural floor at the same freshman year dorms Center for a week and then in the identity as friends. While compassion in the River,” Sontag said. “And it recovery ward for another two to and loyalty manifested themselves in turns out you get a little bit close to three weeks. Xu went out of her way Xu’s decision to visit Radulovacki the people on your floor when you’re to help. in the hospital, an event which now in the river because you’re there a “She knew that my mom and represents the origin and thus shared lot.” I were both vegan and there’s not story of their friendship, their sense Aaron Lit ’19, who grew up much vegan food at the DHMC,” of humor found tangible expression in Hong Kong, and Orkan Sezer Radulovacki said. “So she went to in the ritualistic activity of braving COURTESY OF MAGDALENA RASKA ’20, who grew up in Turkey, both Tuk Tuk and got both of us vegan Collis and fraternities in onesies, Magdalena Raska ’20 and Natalie Sontag ’20 met during their freshman fall. found common ground in their food and brought it to the hospital undaunted and unashamed.


8// MIRROR

Eating Your Heart Out PHOTO

By Michael Lin

The Dartmouth Mirror 2/14/18  
The Dartmouth Mirror 2/14/18  
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