The Rotary Club of Dartmouth September 2017 Chartered 27th October 1950
THE WAY I SEE IT
Dear Rotarians and Friends, I begin on a sad note in recognising the recent passing of Daphne Scorer. Daphne (along with her husband, Derek) has dedicated her life to Dartmouth’s community on every level, and will be missed by all. Derek and Daphne were together for 68 years, and were founder members of The Rotary Club of Dartmouth, and our Inner Wheel Club respectively. A great many groups in Dartmouth have enjoyed the remarkable support and effort of the Scorers over the years. We will remember Daphne fondly, and continue supporting Derek with our friendship. Our annual Summer Fete has raised a record £3,000 for the charity account. This is a fantastic result, and thanks are due to the preparation work of Martin Judd/Mike Bennett and the many others who helped on the day. I do hope this event continues annually. With two months gone already (and our summer recess), it’s probably a good idea to arrange some meetings on the back of the many e-mails that have graced my mailbox in August. (Phone answering machine message - " . . . If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...") We’re back to normal running in September, so take a look at the events on the back page. Yours in Rotary Fellowship, Pres. Michael Freeman P.S. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
BIRTHDAYS 2nd - Peter Shaw 8th - Trevor Pollard 16th - David Morehen 18th - Doug Morris 26th - Keith Barker 2
THE DARTBOARD The monthly bulletin of the Rotary Club of Dartmouth Club No. 705 Chartered 27 Oct ‘50
BASIC EDUCATION and LITERACY MONTH
Vol. XXII No...3
There was a lovely letter in the Daily Telegraph last month which pointed out that the Past President of Malawi, Sir Seretse Khama, lived in a house called “Woodpile” ! And why do we use a four syllable word “Ab-so-lute-ly” to answer a question. when a single syllable word like “yes” or “no” will do ? In some ways the “Dictionaries for Life” which we purchase and distribute to school children, are almost out of date as a result of social media language encroaching upon their world. GR8!
A Rotary club once had a speaker on the subject of “The English Language” and were settling down to sleep after their meal when he started. By the time he had finished they were all wide awake. He spoke of the ways in which the language which we had all learned at school was different today. He was, like, using (um) words that had, sort of, changed their meaning, yuno? He told how some words were no longer allowed (yuno ?) or had become words which, sort of, altered the object (eh?) which was being (kinda) described.
English is weird; it can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though ! I’m also fairly certain that the person who put the first “R” in February was also the one who decided how to spell “Wednesday”. So if you meet him, ask him why ‘knuckle’ begins with a “K” and ‘nickel” doesn’t.
Nowadays we must not use racist, sexist or religious descriptions of (kind of) everyday scenes or moments in time, eh ? John ? ‘Black Magic’ chocolates are not allowed, and have gone AWOL. I used to love those. You can’t have a fly in the ointment any more, because flies resent being treated like that.
It reminds me of a notice on a fire exit in Newton Abbot which read, ”This door is alarmed” under which some wag had scrawled “WHAT FRIGHTENED IT?” 3
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “When you talk you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” Dalai Lama
WHAT MAKES US TICK ?
The above quotation could apply to the weekly raffle in the RC of Annapolis where the lady President has won the draw four weeks in a row. Something fishy ? Better ask Paul to investigate. Send in the Marines !
Rotary International is the most territorial organisation in the world. It exists in 200 countries and cuts across dozens of languages, political and social structures, customs, religions and traditions. How is it that all of the more than 33,000 Rotary clubs of the world operate in almost identical style? The primary answer is the Standard Rotary Club Constitution. One of the conditions to receive a charter to become a Rotary club is to accept the Standard Club Constitution, originally adopted in 1922. This outlines administrative techniques for clubs to follow in holding weekly meetings, procedures for membership and classifications, conditions of attendance and payment of dues, and other policies relating to public issues and political positions. This constitutional document provides the framework for all Rotary clubs in the world. When the Standard Club Constitution was accepted, it was agreed that all existing clubs could continue to follow their current constitution. Although most of those early clubs have subsequently endorsed the Standard Club Constitution, a few pre-1922 clubs still conduct their club affairs according to their former constitutional provisions. The Standard Club Constitution has to be considered one of the great strengths of Rotary to enable the organisation to operate in so many thousands of communities.
PRESIDENT’S NIGHT Arrangements are being made to hold President’s Night at the Flavel on Saturday 24th March 2018. Make a note in your diaries and we will update you as details become clearer.
Way back in August it was announced that the UK Government are to give £150 million to PolioPlus. At the Atlanta Convention this year, delegates were told there were only five cases in the world in 2016. We’re nearly there.
PUZZLE What letter comes next in this sequence ? M—V—E—M—J— ? 4
AND YOU THINK YOU HAVE COMPUTER PROBLEMS ?
• A tasty lunch with a motivating Founda-
tion speaker; • Tours of the majestical caves at Kent’s Cavern and a Devonshire Cream Tea; • Enjoy lunch in ‘The Spanish Barn’ at the historical Torre Abbey, including insightful tours of the medieval Abbey to take at your leisure. There is also a themed ‘Beach Party’ night, so don your Hawaiian shirt and sunhats and enjoy dinner and dancing to the fantastic live music. (I hope that it is indoors).
Dear Tech Support, ‘Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable ones such as: Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate
YOUNG PHOTOGRAPHER Trevor has started distributing posters inviting youngsters to take part in this year’s competition. They will have to produce a portfolio of three photographs based upon the theme, ‘A Different Aspect’ in colour or black and white on photographic paper. Prints to be submitted separately. Each print, including any mount should be no larger than A4 size. Mobile Phones may be used. and if last year’s entries are anything to go by we should have some intriguing pictures. Tell your friends and neighbours to encourage their children (and grandchildren) to have a go.
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue) is on page 12
CONFERENCE IN TORBAY
In addition, each entrant should provide a brief sentence of what each photograph represents in relation to the theme.
Next year’s RIBI Annual Conference takes place in the Riviera Centre at Torquay from Friday to Sunday, 6th to 8th April 2018. It was 1924 when the last one was held here. There’s an exciting twist (their words not mine) to the usual Rotary Foundation Lunch this year, with three different functions to choose from: 5
encouraged to seek ‘excused attendances’ and do ‘make-ups’ at other clubs. They can even get a ‘made-up’ attendance for going to a committee meeting or open club event that is being staged for charitable purposes, such as our Fete. “Excused attendances” count as an attendance if they have been approved in advance. In the RC of Annapolis one member (Clair Morris whom we have met when he came over a couple of years ago) has just been recognised for having “35 years perfect attendance”.
IT HAPPENS AT OUR AGE Jim was telling Harry that he had visited the local care home the previous week to see a Rotarian friend, and was still there when a family brought in their frail, elderly mother and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next time Jim visited, the nurses had bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay but after a while she slowly started to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straightened her up. Again, she seemed okay but after a while she started to tilt to the other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This apparently went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. One young man said to her "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" "It’s pretty nice," she replied, "except they won’t let you fart."
LITERACY ? Five Scotsmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy the Garda officer, stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, ‘Quattro’ means four." "Quattro is just the name of the automobile," a Scotsman retorted in disbelief. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons." "You cannot pull that one on me," replies Paddy. "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law." The Scot replied angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor - I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!" Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."
DICTIONARIES FOR LIFE President Mike completed the project by distributing the dictionaries to groups of young people in July.
PERFECT ATTENDANCE ! In most other countries in the world members’ attendances at club meetings from week to week are carefully recorded and the annual figures brought to everyone’s attention. Members are 6
The Fete was held in super sunshine last month and there were crowds to browse the many stalls and sideshows.. The Town Crier rang the bell to attract tourists.
John Hansell even managed to sell a tombola ticket to Bob Benns, who was one of the lucky winners.
The Kingsmen sang on the bandstand and were joined by former Mayor Richard Rendle for their songs.
Martin Lowe and Keith Barker got into the spirit of the Duck Race and frightened a lot of young people into buying tickets. 375 ducks were sold before the day and we sold 261 ducks on the day for another £522, making £1272 less the prize money and minor costs.
David, David, Geoff and Don sold all the burgers in the sunshine. It was a great example of all members working together. Total income nearly £3,000 !
Special thanks to Martin L and Keith who donned the very hot duck costumes and those who got very wet collecting them from the Boatfloat afterwards. The winner was Archie Greaves aged 11 from Oldham, and the second and third were from Jersey and Somerset. 7
INNER WHEEL NEWS Our annual Charity Fete in August went off well, albeit a much smaller event than usual. We made a nice profit for our charity this year which is Rowcroft, so the hard work done by the ladies was well worth it. Many thanks to the Rotarians who kindly came along and helped with the gazebos etc., it is very much appreciated. This month we are having a little shopping spree in Torquay at the Willows followed by our meeting and lunch at the Whiteton Restaurant near by.
HISTORY In many Rotary clubs throughout the world, wives of male members are not members of Inner Wheel but are affectionately called "Rotary Anns." This designation was never one of disparagement, but rather grew out of an interesting historical occasion. In 1914 some Rotarians boarded a special train from San Francisco to attend the Rotary convention being held in Houston. In those days few wives attended Rotary events, and until the train stopped in Los Angeles, the only woman aboard was the wife of Rotarian Bru Brunnier. As the train picked up additional convention-bound delegates, Mrs. Ann Brunnier was introduced as the Rotarian's Ann. This title soon became "Rotary
Ann." Since the Rotarians intended to hold their next convention in San Francisco, a number of songs and stunts were organized which would be performed in Houston. One of the Rotarians wrote a "Rotary Ann" chant. On the train's arrival at the Houston depot, a delegation greeted the West Coast Rotarians. One of the greeters was Guy Gundaker of Philadelphia, whose wife was also named Ann. During the rousing demonstration, someone started the “Rotary Ann” chant. The two petite ladies, Ann Brunnier and Ann Gundaker, were hoisted to the men's shoulders and paraded about the hall. The group loved the title given to the two women. Immediately the same term of endearment was used for all of the wives in attendance, and the name "Rotary Ann" was here to stay.
QUOTATION “I think women are foolish to pretend that they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been. Whatever you give a woman she will make greater. If you give her sperm she will give you a baby. If you give her a house she will give you a home. If you give her groceries she will give you a meal. If you give her a smile she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be prepared to receive a ton of shit !” William Golding, 1911-1993 Novelist, Playwright and Poet
STRIVE A LITTLE, WIN A LOT
This month it seems pertinent to analyse our membership demographic to see what we need to do to ensure the survival of our Rotary club. • 83% of our members are over 60 • 55% of our members are over 70
Honorary Rotarian Samantha Kinghorn suffered a bad accident in 2010 which left her paralysed from the waist down. But
We have only 5 members in their 50’s and only one member under 40 (and he’s the President). We need to build our recruiting campaign around our youngest members before our President’s 40th birthday next March !
sheer guts has driven her to become the double world champion and world record holder in the 100m and 200m T53 wheelchair races at the World Para-athletics Championships in London this year. In 2016 she also won the RIBI Young Citizen Award. What an inspiration !
R.I. PRESIDENT-ELECT On 1st September Barry Rassin, of the Rotary Club of East Nassau, New Providence, Bahamas, was declared the president-elect for 2019-20 in the absence of any challenging candidates. As President, he aims to strengthen our public image and our use of digital tools to maximize Rotary’s reach. “Those who know what good Rotary clubs do will want to be a part of it, and we must find new models for membership that allow all interested in our mission to participate,” he says. “With Rotary more in the public eye, we will attract more individuals who want to be part of and support a membership organization that accomplishes so much good around the world.”
Some lively youngsters are needed.
IN PASSING Somewhere I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. I don’t want to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?: 9
CRAB FEAST The RC of Annapolis held their Crab Feast last month and these were some of the trays of crabs for the 2,500 who dined there.
SPORTS AND SOCIAL NEWS The opening salvo of the Bay Sports will be fired on 7th September at Stoke Fleming, and Richard Blake is keen that we get off on the right foot (unless of course you are left-handed). There were a good crowd of members signed up for the fishing trip last month and the editor expected to see some decent photos, but all he got was this:
In fact we hear that there were more fish adjacent to Kingswear than there were out in the open waters. The next trip will be on 6th September in “Outlaw” at a cost of £40. Ring him if you want to be included.
PAUL SAID: “I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. “
BEST WISHES FROM US ALL Congratulations to Steve Betty who quietly married Jenny last month. I’m only sorry we didn’t know in time to send our best wishes to you both at the time, but they are nevertheless sincere.
We used to have one for the Bay Clubs, at Oldway Mansion, but it hasn’t been held for a couple of years. The RC of Okehampton would welcome participation from Rotary Club teams from around the District’s for their annual Dartmoor Autumn Challenge Charity Walk. This year’s event starts and finishes in the middle of Okehampton on Sunday 17th September. Teams of 3 to 8 members have the option to complete the Short (~2 miles), Standard (~11 miles) or Extreme (~19 miles) course, however entry forms have to be submitted by the first week of September
DID YOU KNOW ? The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874, and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realise that their brains are also important.
ANSWER TO PUZZLE “S” they are the initial letters of the planets. 10
THERE WAS NO BUSINESS MEETING IN AUGUST, NEITHER WERE THERE ANY COMMITTEE MEETINGS INSTEAD take a look at this comparative map and then tell me why you think we are doing too much to help people in these lands. We must admit that we have no real concept of the difficulties of living with drugs, wars, migration, famine, drought and disease on such a scale as this.
ON-LINE CALENDAR is available at www calendar.dartmouthrotary.co.uk
7 Sept @ 1pm
14 Sept @ 1pm
Speaker; Ken Wood “Poetry Reading”
20 Sept @ 7pm
Dine-out at Brown’s Hotel
21 Sept @ 1pm
28 Sept @ 1pm
5 Oct @ 1pm
12 Oct @ 1pm
(Bay Sports Petanque in evening) (Council & Cttees in evening)
(Council & Cttees in evening) (Bay Sports Target Golf in evening)
Visit Coleton Fishacre ? 19 Oct @ 1pm
26 Oct @ 1pm
Rotary Open Fellowship Day for friends & guests
Clocks go back for the winter
2 Nov @ 1pm
RESPONSE FROM I T team:
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great programme, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.
Contributions can be emailed to DavidMorehen@aol.com
Dear Desperate, “First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ‘I thought you loved me.html’ and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad programmethat will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that
will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 programme. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
Monthly bulletin of the Rotary Club of Dartmouth