The Corvallis Advocate (3/1/12)

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ART: The Frustrating and seemingly hopeless act of making a living 8

NEWS: Hilex Poly LLC. & The corvallis plastic bag ban 3

Mar. 1-7, 2012 • corvallis

ts s i tiv ith c A W y e k k i l B Cit Ta 4

Fiction: Rhetorical Zombies 15

Books: John Dies @ the End 10


Haircuts & Conversations 6

by Jen is Matte

Event Calendar 11

Live Music 13

Mar. 1-7, 2012

A FRESH, LOCAL, AFFORDABLE Plastic Bag Ban & Company Men.......................


Corvallis Bike Culture Rides High.................................


Haircuts & Conversations..........................


The HOUR Exchange Celebrates 10 Years.................


The Frustrating And Seemingly Hopeless Act Of Making A Living..................

8 John Dies @ the End........... 10 Events Calendar...................11 Corvallis Music Scene........ 13 Rhetorical Zombies............. 15

& Locall� Owne�!

Words Justin Bolger Ron Georg Jen Matteis Magdalen O’Reilly Chris Singer Art Bobbi Dickerson Jessica Bonnett Katy Krupp Rebecca McDonough Calendar Chris Singer Radio Brittney Miller Business Steven J. Schultz

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Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 Phone: 541.766.3675 The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published materials.

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“There’s been a lot of agreement. I’m afraid that Hilex Poly is going to make it difficult.” Debra Higbee-Sudyka Bag It Corvallis

by Jen Matteis We use plastic bags for everything under the sun, and — surprise — they’re everywhere. The average American uses 500 plastic grocery bags a year, for about 12 minutes each. Every one of these bags still exists in some form. The wind plucks them from landfills and carries them into our oceans, where they entangle and choke marine creatures, enter our food chain, and form immense garbage patches where plastic outnumbers plankton six to one. For these reasons and more, the Corvallis City Council is considering an ordinance banning single-use plastic bags and instituting a five-cent fee on paper bags to encourage a switch to reusable bags. So who’s opposing this ban? Not most residents or local businesses. The group Bag It Corvallis, spearheaded by Debra Higbee-Sudyka, reports more than a

thousand signatures of support from residents and fifty from downtown businesses. Instead, the South Carolinabased plastic bag manufacturer Hilex Poly has sent representatives to testify before the City Council’s Administrative Services Committee, which is assessing the ordinance. This company denied widely accepted negative environmental effects of plastic bags in a lawsuit against reusable bag manufacturer ChicoBag. It improperly claimed a 12 percent rate for recycling plastic bags--the EPA’s most recent statistic is less than five percent. Those few bags that make it to the recycling plant jam the machinery repeatedly and cost taxpayers money, reported Allied Waste Services of Corvallis in a letter of support sent to HigbeeSudyka. Hilex Poly was also behind a recent study that tested for diseasecausing bacteria in reusable bags. Consumer Reports responded that

eating a bag of salad exposes you to more bacteria than if you licked the inside of the dirtiest bag in the study. Still, go to the company’s Bag the Ban website and you’ll be greeted by an ominous image of E. coli under the threatening text: “What’s lurking in your reusable bag?” This is the company that testified last week before our City Councilors Joel Hirsch, Biff Traber, and Mark O’Brien on the Administrative Services Committee. Its representatives were openly encouraged to attend future meetings. “Of the people on the City Council, the majority are receptive to the ban, it’s just a minority that are not, maybe two or three,” said Higbee-Sudyka. “There’s been a lot of agreement. I’m afraid that Hilex Poly is going to make it difficult.” We know what the plastic industry wants: profit. The opinion of the residents and businesses of Corvallis matter more. The public

can provide input at the committee’s meetings (for a schedule, visit www. and click on “Sustainability” in the sidebar). Plastic bag bans are spreading, and it’s making the plastic industry squirm. And to those who rely on plastic bags for picking up your doggie doo-doo, don’t worry--we’ll still have newspaper bags, bread bags, bulk-food bags, produce bags-or just stop by the coastline and pick up a few strays. “We went to the beach a couple weeks ago and yeah... it’s there. You see it,” said Higbee-Sudyka. “It’s sad.” Join Bag It Corvallis for a free screening of “Bag It,” a documentary addressing the environmental and human health effects of plastics, on Sunday, March 23 from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Benton County Library. For more information or to view the ordinance, email Debra HigbeeSudyka at or visit

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Bike Culture Ascendant Corvallis is nationally renowned for its commitment to bike commuters. Since 2003, the League of American Bicyclists has ranked Corvallis as a Gold Level Bike Friendly City, one of only about a dozen in the country. Last year, census data revealed that Corvallis has the highest percentage of bicycle commuters in the country, of any size city, with nearly one in ten leaving the car home. But there’s much more to bike culture in Corvallis, and a number of people are wondering if other aspects of cycling can get the same kind of attention transportation receives. As the Corvallis Parks and Recreation Department updates their master plan for the next ten years, they’re seeking public input to determine the community’s needs. They held public meetings in February, and they’ll hold two more May 2 and 3. They’re also surveying residents with a random mailer followed by an online version. If enough people ask, “Where’s the bike?” Corvallis could see some interesting new facilities develop. At the same time, events have the potential to pull cyclists in to visit from other places, and some are hoping that could help make Corvallis Cycle City to Eugene’s Track Town.

New Bike Parks?

... s w It o r g ers t r d o i p s n p u o S yC cit

by Ron Georg Trevor Heald and his friends might have looked a little shady, hanging out at night under the south bypass with their scarred bikes and homebuilt bike trailers. But if they were there for some nefarious purpose, they probably wouldn’t have brought lights bright enough to see a small ball on the normally daylight-only basketball court. This is Corvallis Bike Polo, one of the many facets of bike culture in Corvallis people may not be aware of. That’s a shame, because what unfolds is as exciting as hockey and as off-beat as roller derby. Open to all—the players bring extra

bikes strapped to their trailers for walkons—bike polo could be a focal point for local bike culture. That’s already happening in some places. The World Hardcourt Bike Polo Championship in Seattle last year drew an international field of 72 teams. After years of lugging lights and lumber to the basketball court to convert it for night polo, Heald has a sense that polo players need a less-improvised facility to take it to the next level, so he’s sent a letter to the Corvallis Parks and Recreation Department looking for help. That’s a big step for this DIY bunch. “All the paperwork and bureaucratic stuff kind of intimidates me,” Heald conceded. “I take a few days to respond. But I’m going to get together with Karen

Emery and talk to her, see how far she’s willing to go.” Emery, Corvallis Parks and Recreation Director, is also looking forward to that meeting. “The bike polo currently exists, and they’re using two parks and recreation facilities that are not for that purpose,” she said. “So we will meet with them, and find out a little bit more about their needs. They’re a grass-roots sport, so we need to learn a little bit more about that.” Emery is also learning about another grass-roots trend in cycling, the bike skills park. These spaces are mountain biking in your backyard, a local spot where the challenges are well-designed and concentrated. The biggest ones feature everything from rolling trails with gentle berms

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to big dirt jumps and wall rides (which is pretty much just what it sounds like). One feature common to pretty much every skills park is a pump track. The idea is to create a continuous loop with small, rolling jumps and deep, smooth berms, which allows a rider to generate momentum by unweighting the bike on the upside of the jumps, and weighting on the downside (jumping is not required, and can actually slow you down). On a well-designed track, a rider can take the chain off the bike and pump around. Chad DeMers isn’t any more comfortable with the bureaucratic process than Heald, and he’s even less visible on his bike. As a mountain biker, he’s often disappearing into the woods. Or he’s in his backyard, riding his hand-dug pump track. Still, he sees that there is a community need for local bike facilities. The weather can limit riding opportunities, and the steep climbs in the hills outside Corvallis are a big price to pay for entry level riders. A pump track could introduce new riders to the smooth, flowing sensation which keeps experienced riders grinding up those hills outside town. So DeMers created some preliminary plans for a pump track under the bridge, just east of the basketball-cum-bike polo court and the Eric Scott McKinley Skatepark. He presented the plans to a receptive Parks, Natural Areas, and Recreation Board, putting the pump track on the radar for the ten-year plan. Just after DeMers’s public debut, local promoter Mike Ripley offered the board his support for the project. Through his race promotion company, Mudslinger Events, Ripley has an established reputation as a promoter and advocate, and he identified with DeMers’s presentation. “Every group needs cheerleaders, the dreamers, the people who want to do

it,” he said. “But once you understand what’s possible, you need to stop and take a deep breath.” The first deep breath for the pump track proposal will be the Willamette River Greenway permit. The Greenway program requires that any development that close to the river address long list of criteria to ensure compatibility with a wide range of environmental, aesthetic, and social concerns—and the permitting process carries a $6,000 fee. Ripley is also one of those dreaming cheerleaders, and he hopes the current energy to develop more opportunities for cyclists—especially mountain bikers—can lead to alliances which could attract funding. In particular, he wants to expand the advocacy efforts of Team Dirt, his mountain bike race team, under the umbrella of the International Mountain Bicycling Association. “The time is now to have one IMBA chapter, one non-profit, and look at the whole wide range of possibilities that would encompass Corvallis,” Ripley said. ”Everyone really has a similar need to explore, have good trails, have safe trails. There’s a wide range of needs in the community, and Corvallis has lagged behind in some ways.” Visit Corvallis Executive Director Dave Gilbert would also like to see Corvallis catch up, and he’d appreciate one of IMBA’s mantras, “more trails equals more sales”. Gilbert likes the idea of developing more facilities. “It’s a tourism thing, and it’s potentially a business asset for people who move to Corvallis to have cycling be a major part of their recreation.” The facilities could also be a showpiece for visitors during Ride for the Cure, a charity bike ride to benefit Project Her and Samaritan Health through the Komen Foundation. And if those visitors get the right impression while

“It’s our role to provide recreation for all residents of Corvallis.” — Karen Emery, Corvallis Parks & Rec

Follow Your Feet to Footwise

they’re here, Gilbert hopes they’ll help reshape Corvallis’s image. “You hear of Eugene being Track Town, we think we can be Cycle City, because we offer this tremendous variety of on- and off-road terrain to benefit cyclists,” Gilbert said. This sounds good on the other side of the river in the Flomatcher Building, where the non-profit Corvallis Bicycle Collective operates in Linn County but at a Corvallis Parks and Recreation site. The CBC already has a good relationship with the city, trading volunteer time teaching kids about bikes, as well as some landscaping around the building, for free rent. With a very simple mission—to get more people on bikes—the CBC supports any bicycling initiative, and CBC Board President Paul Atwood sees the potential for more community support “The tourism bureau wants to turn this into Cycle City, like Eugene is Track Town,” Atwood said. “That brings in all the general business population, and maybe serves as a catalyst to get everybody together and try to get on the same page.” Fortunately, it seems like the parks and rec director already has that page in her book. “It’s our role to provide recreation for all residents of Corvallis,” Emery said. “People who might be underserved are in some ways easier for us to serve, because their needs are already identified. It’s not just about recreation, it’s about health, and it’s about community, and having a role in your community.” They’ve proposed perhaps combining their needs with the skills course; that’s one concept. We’re going to meet as staff with both groups in the next couple of weeks and find out a little bit more about their needs and their vision.

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Haircuts & Conversations So, let me get this straight.... There are three local barbers in three shops that span two generations and they are all family. Yep, it all started in 1971 at the MU and continues today. by Caitlyn May Tucked away in a hidden corner of the Oregon State University Campus Memorial Union, a new business is thriving. Diversity Cuts has only been open under new owner Jen, for little more than a month but has already built a loyal customer base of students and professors alike. “What’s most surprising is how quickly it’s picked up. Just the positive word of mouth is really spreading,� Jen shared with the Advocate. Offering its services at reasonable rates, Diversity Cuts has drawn the attention of the campus community with Jen noting that her customers cover a wide spectrum. “I have a lot of college kids come in because we’re right here but I also have bookstore staff. The other day I had a professor come in.� Jen’s passion for her customers is a deeply rooted trait passed down to her from her father, Mel. In a five-chair shop, not all that different from the shop currently manned by his daughter, Mel invited students in for a friendly cut and shave. “Where the post office boxes are now, he had a shop there and started here in the M.U,� she shared, going on to note that while her father’s shop eventually dwindled down to just one or two chairs, the family business was not in jeopardy. In 1971, Mel christened a shop with his own moniker. Located on Circle Blvd., Mel’s Barber Shop offered the same customer service as the five-chair shop at OSU and still stands there to-

day, its chair open to anyone looking for a quality hair cut. While little has changed in the way of customer service at Mel’s, the original owner no longer commands the post. Today, it is Jen’s husband, Ari. “My dad talked me into taking over Mel’s, so I finished school for that in 2000,� Jen explained. Originally having attended school to earn her degree as a lawyer, Jen quickly found herself immersed in the family business when Ari finished school and joined her and her father at Mel’s. However, after just a year, Mel ventured out into Philomath, opening another shop, The Clip Joint, in 2001. “He was supposed to retire,� Jen emphasized, adding, “But he didn’t.� After mentoring his daughter for a year, Mel had left Jen and Ari to the shop on Circle Blvd. “At first we had it that my husband worked in the morning and I worked in the afternoon so that one of us was home with the kids,� Jen stated. She went on to say, “But when I got pregnant with the fourth kid, I said that was enough and I stayed home.� While motherhood called her from her career for a brief moment, the siren song of the family business soon lured Jen back. “This opportunity came up, to have a shop here at OSU and so we took it,� she explained. While Ari admits it was nice to have his wife back at work instead of popping into Mel’s, Jen was equally excited about the new space and with her youngest child just 21 months, she jumped back into the business of cutting hair with the lessons she learned from her father. “I just try and be involved with everyone and really listen to their stories.� And listen to their stories she does. From the classes students are taking, to the pressures of a new job, Jen remembers each customer, as do Ari and Mel. Each conversation begins where it left off, like with old friends. Jen points out various mementos customers

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have bestowed upon her. In the two-chair shop where students mill around, she gestures to a painting proudly displayed on the wall. It was given to her by a Colonel who often frequents the month-old shop. “He retired from the military and I think it’s funny that he, you know, stayed around. He comes in because he really likes the campus atmosphere and so that’s a painting he gave us. It’s an F-15 that he flew.� After opening at 10 a.m. Jen has a line at her door only an hour later and just 12 hours after Ari closed shop at Mel’s and the lights went out in the shop in Philomath with both Ari and Mel serving their fair share of customers. First in line, a young student that Jen calls “a repeat.� “I’ve cut you before!� she exclaims, remembering the trouble she and the young man had coming to a decision over the length of his hair. However, her customer is sure to remind her that she did a perfect job and it’s why he’s returned. It is the same service both Mel and Ari offer at Mel’s and The Clip Joint. A face is never forgotten, a conversation hardly left to chance. The passion all three feel for their customers is a core component of their trio of businesses and one thing, among others, they feel is crucial to their success. As for the other things, according to Jen, the family of shops is some of the few to offer an authentic hot lather neck shave and massage. While all three shops are walk in only, the family is excited to see the upbeat in business and continue to look towards the future. “If my children get a four year degree and prove they can be responsible than I would let them come into this business,� Jen explained noting that when Mel finally retires, she and Ari have no plans of taking over The Clip Joint, but can’t rule out that the shop would still fall into the family’s hands. “Maybe, one of my kids will be working there.�

The Corvallis HOUR Exchange Celebrates 10 Years

Membership Continues To Grow by Justin Bolger “The world is a mountain. What we do is a shout. The echo comes back to us.” — Rumi At least it should — even economically. Do you hear the echo? Where does your money go? Beyond the business names, I mean. Do the people matter to you? The Corvallis HOUR Exchange wants you to invest in the people and the community — your neighbors and your home. Why? In part, so everyone can feel the echo from the money they spend. How? By using a local currency called HOURS. Created from scratch in the Spring of 2002, they launched with 33 members. The goal has been to create a sustainable local economy through the use of local currency. They call it HOURS as a reminder of why money has value: It’s a person’s time, skill, and energy. Alana Kenagy, outreach coordinator for the HOUR Exchange, is an artist. You can find her work in a few stores around town. She even has the occasional show on display. But it’s HOURS that make it a business. “It’s given me a lot of income with my art. It provides an audience and a good way to advertise on a small scale.” Her biggest sale was with Karrisa Boyce, a woman she met through the program. It was during the holiday season when she asked Kenagy to see all of the pieces she had available, so she filled the room with art and

let Boyce browse. According to Kenagy, about 80 percent of her gifts came from that one exchange. Where does she spend her HOURS? “I get a lot of food and beverages — repairs and maintenance. I got my bike repaired at Cycle Solutions. I eat at Fireworks a lot. I get dance lessons. I’m working on getting a massage from every single one of the massage therapists listed,” said Kenagy. Some businesses accept hours as partial payment, for instance Browser’s Bookstore accepts HOURS as payment for 50 percent of the regular price, a system a number of the storefront business members use. “We ended up with way too many,” said clerk Gerry Rouff. “We had nothing to exchange them for.” “[Members] are pretty helpful though. They’ll come in to ask for HOURS as change,” responded employee Jannette Brinkley. To make it more viable on a citywide scale, they need more people to get involved. They want more diversity in their members, so people have more to spend their HOURS on. There are currently 100 members, according to Christina Calkins, the program advisor.

Come Get Your Sauce On

That’s 100 ways to spend HOURS — a 27 percent increase over the last year. She says that currencies like this are more prevalent during recessions, which explains the rise in public interest. HOURS account for $14,621 of the local economy. Their primary goal is to be responsible for one percent of local trade by 2020, working in tandem with the U.S. Dollar. “I’d like to see 10 percent, but I don’t know how it equates,” said board member Ben Smalls. “It seems like a very good solution, and to my surprise, there’s not more involvement from the community.” They host various events around Corvallis, such as their seasonal gatherings. These are a way to introduce interested community members to the program. It’s a place they can ask questions and listen to individual experiences from those already involved. Members can take this opportunity to network, making new friends and professional relationships. The next will be their tenth anniversary celebration on March 10 from 7-9 p.m. at the Old World Deli downtown. Board member Cheryl Good said, “It’s small groups sharing what they do and what

Upcoming HOURS events: • Charles Eisenstein Speaks, author of Sacred Economics. March 8 at 7 pm room, 121 of Kearney Hall on campus. • 10th Anniversary Celebration.March 10 from 7-9 p.m. at the Old World Deli downtown.

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they need. You put a face with the name.” Other events include guest speakers, usually on the subjects of sustainability or local economics. On March 8, Charles Eisenstein, author of “Sacred Economics,” in room 121 of Kearney Hall on campus at 7 p.m. Good would like to see connecting between members made even easier by adding a directory to their website ( Currently, the directory can only be found in HOUR Trader, their quarterly publication. “Couldn’t we make a phone app for that?” asked Good. “We’re establishing relationships, which is something the dollar doesn’t do.” She said that it’s not only for business, it gives you an excuse to develop your hobbies and help others do the same. “My sewing and mending skills got better. My community was investing in me becoming a better seamstress. That’s what happened to me, so I know it happens to other people. It empowers them to participate.” “That’s why this is such a good investment, because it’s us. It’s what we make it. Your involvement makes it happen,” said Smalls. “It’s better than insurance, it’s assurance. It’s something I own.”

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The frustrating and seemingly hopeless act of making a living Words & Artwork by Magdalen O’Reilly

Beautimus Maximus


8 Corvallis Advocate

Whoever said “money can’t buy happiness” didn’t live during a recession. No, money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy peace of mind. And I don’t know about you, but peace of mind makes me pretty damn happy. At 26, many people my age are unemployed or desperately underemployed. Others are hiding out in school, living off their student loans and waiting for the economy to improve. The idea of the American Dream has become a joke to our generation, as well it should be. Flocks of highly educated youth with nowhere to go, nowhere to work. Waiting for our lives to begin, American Nightmare is more like it. Many try to sell things online: art, crafts, clothing, anything. Just trying to supplement our income. But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that trying to sell things online is quite like pissing into the ocean. No one is going to notice. You’ve got a million people trying to sell macrame crafts they themselves would never buy. And the more people

who are trying to sell online, the fewer people can afford it. On places like I see artists selling their wares for “points”. Useless fake money that can only be redeemed for stuff sold by Selling their work for literally pennies on the dollar. The forums are flooded with job postings. The second someone posts an offer, even as low as 10 dollars, the place is crammed full of artists striving for a job. Any job. They post their portfolios and list off their previous satisfied customers. But all I hear is: Help me. I need this. Help me, I need to buy textbooks, I need to pay my power bill, I need to put gas in my car, please, I need this, I need that, please help me. And it makes me sad. To think so many of us are raging against mediocrity. Wanting to be more, wanting to recognized for being talented. The American Dream is no longer Suburbia and white picket fences, it’s being able to make living doing something you love. Working a job that doesn’t demean you. And so many of us will fail.


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John Dies @ the End we buried the Korean whore. The one without the goatee.” That was code. It meant “Come to my place as soon as you can, it’s important.” Code, you know, in case the phone was bugged. “John, it’s three in the-“ “-Oh, and don’t forget, tomorrow is the day we kill the President.” *Click* He was gone. That last part was code for, “Stop and pick me up some cigarettes on the way.”

by Magdalen O’Reilly Corvallis-OSU Symphony Society present internationally acclaimed jazz vocalist and Corvallis native

FRIDAY, MARCH 9, 2012 8:00PM LaSells Stewart Center, OSU Outspoken OSU’s Male a Capella Group 7:30PM Performance in the Lobby Reserved tickets in advance: $20, $30, $40 Gracewinds Music Grass Roots Books & Music

with the Corvallis-OSU Symphony Orchestra Rob Birdwell, Conductor Matt Treder, piano Mark Schneider, bass William Seiji March, guitar Brian West, drums Proceeds will benefit Symphony Student Musician Scholarships

Box office opens on hour prior to concert Reserved tickets at the door: $22, $32, $42

CORRECTION Last week’s story about the Makers’ Space included, “Twins,” Grace Noel, Relief print, 2011. We did not include any of this information when we originally ran her work, so we do so now.

John Dies at the End is a difficult book to describe. Written by David Wong, a pseudonym for editor Jason Pargin, the book almost defies reviewing. It’s the kind of story that leaves you laughing, exhilarated and utterly incapable of explaining why. With hands flailing expressively one says, “You just need to read it!” at the questioning party. I will attempt to be a bit more descriptive here. If I could give this book a different title it would be Harold and Kumar Meet a Shoggoth because that’s exactly what it is. Part buddy comedy, part indescribable horror from beyond the realm of human imagination. The story follows David Wong, an average- albeit completely insane -individual who is attempting to recount the events of his life to a news reporter. According to Wong, what began as a below average kegger spiraled out of control when David’s best friend John takes a powerful unknown drug only known to them as “the soy sauce”. Now with the ability to see through time and space, the pair become painfully aware of an evil presence that is seeping it’s way into their world. And whats worse is now that presence is aware of them too. Can John and Dave unmask the nebulous evil, solve the mystery and save the world? Probably not. But it’s definitely worth reading. The story itself is heavily influenced by H.P Lovecraft, a science fiction/horror writer from the early 1900’s who is

experiencing a revival in popularity. His short stories usually involved a young gentlemen who unwittingly stumbles onto a horrible secret evil. Character who survived usually lived out their days babbling incoherently. But where Lovecraft’s work is well known for being verbose and somewhat antiquated, Wong’s writing style is quite the opposite. This writing style is short, concise and does not pull punches for anyone: “Hello?” “Dave? This is John. Your pimp says bring the crack shipment tonight, or he’ll be forced to stick you. Meet him where

Now after reading that excerpt, you may be surprised to read I actually found this book to be genuinely scary. Pargin manages to oscillate between laughout-loud hilarious to bone chilling terror rather effortlessly. It’s a hybrid of genres not often paired together, and never this successfully. The scarier scenes are reminiscent of Stephen King’s writing, relying heavily on memory and the five senses to surround the reader with the story. Although I found this book funny, it’s been noted on several occasions that it takes a lot to offend me. That being said, I don’t recommend this book for those who are [easily offended]. Our protagonist, Dave, is a hapless but still a likeable person. However the story itself does crack several jokes at the expense of Christians, homosexuals, and the developmentally disabled. If raunchy, unapologetic humor is not your cup of tea, than steer clear. If it is, I highly recommend John Dies At the End. You’ve been warned.

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The Arts Center, in conjunction with the Willamette Ceramics Guild, will feature an exhibit in the Corrine Woodman Gallery to complement a simultaneous ‘Extreme Clay’ exhibit curated in the Main Gallery. Guild members were challenged to think in extremes and to move away from their regular practices and comfort zone. The uncertainty of this challenge led to experimentation by the artists and to an array of pieces gallery visitors will sure to find interesting and unique. Participating artists include Cynthia

welcome. The Sugar Wife at Oregon State University Theatres, 145 Withycombe Hall, Corvallis. March 1, 2, 3, 9, 10 at 7:30 p.m. March 11 at 2 p.m. “Win It In A Minute” Game Show at Applebee’s, 1915 NE Four Acre Place, Corvallis. 9 p.m. Thursdays. Hosted by Jessica. Compete against a clock with crazy challenges. 541-758-2204.


Adele Kubein, “The World’s Oldest Profession in a Postmodern Era” at Room 201A, Waldo Hall, Oregon State University, Corvallis. 12 p.m. Part of the OSU Anthropology Tan Sack Lecture Series. Wine tasting at First Alternative South Store, 1007 SE Third St., Corvallis. 5 to 7 p.m. Fridays. 541-753-3115. Beer club release tasting at WineStyles in the Timberhill Shopping Center, 2333 NW Kings Blvd., Corvallis. 5:30 to 7:30

Spencer, Jeenie Balkins, Susan Pachuta, Anthony Gordon, Ted Ernst, Ann Lahr, Annclaire Greig, Rhoda Fleischman, Ginny Gibson, Jessica Graff, Lynda Farmer, Dawn Jones and Richard Kuensting. The exhibit will be on display from February 28 until March 31, 2012. The Corrine Woodman Galley is located in the Corvallis Arts Center building on 700 SW Madison at Central Park. Free parking is available. For more information, visit www. and

p.m. Admission: $5 general, free for beer club members. 541-738-9463. Michael Riley at The Downward Dog, 130 SW First Street, Corvallis. 6 p.m. Gina Machovina at del Alma, 36 SW Washington Ave. Suite 102, Corvallis. 6:30 p.m. 541-753-2222. Chocolate Fantasy: “Art with Heart: A Benefit for The Arts Center and ArtsCare” at Reser Stadium, Club Level, Oregon State University, Corvallis. 7 p.m. Features chocolatiers, a fine art sale, a silent auction and a live auction with celebrity auctioneer Craig Robinson. Music by Orquesta Monte Calvo. Admission: $75/person. 541-754-1551. www. Corvallis High School Drama Dept. presents “Annie” at 1400 NW Buchanan Ave., Corvallis. 7 p.m. Tickets: $10 adults & seniors, $8 students, $5 youth 12 and under. Advance tickets: www. The Sugar Wife at Oregon State University Theatres, 145 Withycombe Hall, Corvallis. March 1, 2, 3, 9, 10 at 7:30 p.m. March 11 at 2 p.m. www.oregonstate.



“First Thursdays” Art Walk, participating businesses in Corvallis. 4 p.m to 8 p.m. A community arts, fine-dining and retail event held every first Thursday. Meet artists at various businesses around town, sample wine, visit galleries and listen to musical offerings at area restaurants. Information: 541-753-9900. Beer/wine tasting at First Alternative North Store, 2855 NW Grant Ave., Corvallis. 5 to 7 p.m. on the first and third Thursdays. Features music and light appetizers. 541753-3115. Stitch Night at Stash on 110 SW 3rd St., Corvallis. 5 to 8 p.m. A knitting circle for those working on projects already. www. Sustainability Fair & Town Hall Meeting at CH2M Hill Alumni Center, 725 SW 26th Street, Corvallis. 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Town Hall meeting begins at 7:00 p.m. featuring multi-media presentations and small group discussion. Free and open to the public. Attendees are encouraged to walk, bike, carpool or ride the bus to the event. Visit for info. March Wine Club release tasting at WineStyles in the Timberhill Shopping Center, 2333 NW Kings Blvd., Corvallis. 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Features Pacific Northwest wines. Admission: $5 general, free for wine-club members. 541-738-9463. Jesse Coombs, 7 p.m. D107, Trysting Tree Conference Room, Weatherford Hall, Oregon State University, Corvallis. Coombs, Coombs, a paddler on the Jackson Factory team (sponsored by Eddie Bauer), redefines the limits of adventure travel as he pioneers first descents on untamed waterfalls, canyons, gorges and rivers. He has started a nonprofit corporation to steer kids away from illegal drugs and introduce them to outdoor sports. Part of the Austin Entrepreneurship Program. Admission is free. http://business. Square Dance Lessons at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 4515 SW West Hills Rd, Corvallis. 7 to 8:30 p.m. Thursdays. Both singles and couples are




Extreme Clay Exhibit Features At The Arts Center on February 28th

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss at Grassroots Books, 227 SW 2nd. St., Corvallis. 11:30 a.m. Celebrate Dr. Seuss’ birthday (March 2) with a belated party at Grass Roots. We’ll read a couple of Dr. Seuss’ classics aloud, and have games, activities, and treats that celebrate reading. Crawl for the Cause at bars in Downtown Corvallis, 2 p.m. Crawl for the Cause is a pub crawl in which all proceeds benefit a “cause” of our choosing. Bars will include: The Downward Dog, Flat Tail Brewing, The Peacock Bar & Grill, Jack Okole’s Bar & Grill, Crow Bar, 101 Eat & Drink. Between The Cracks: “AnimationMusic Project” with Shelly Jordon and Dana Reason at the Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave., Corvallis. 7 p.m. Free to students with ID, $10 adults , $5 for Arts Center members.

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Corvallis High School Drama Dept. presents “Annie” at 1400 NW Buchanan Ave., Corvallis. 2 p.m. Tickets: $10 adults & seniors, $8 students, $5 youth 12 and under. Advance tickets: www. Spring Thaw at Live Well Studio, 971 NW Spruce Ave., Corvallis. 2 to 4 p.m. An active asana sequence focusing on twists and backbends in a gently heated room to detox the body and prepare for the transition to spring. All levels welcome. Please bring water and a towel or two. Led by: Angie Greenwood. Cost: $20-$25. 541-224-6566 or


OSU Women’s Center. “Healthy Mind, Body and Soul”: Annual Art Exhibit. A mixed media exhibit featuring works by female-identified OSU affiliated artists at the Memorial Union Concourse Gallery at OSU (SW 26th & SW Jefferson Way). Exhibit showing until March 15. For more information, contact Susan Bourque at 737-6371.


“Pilates for Equestrians” at Live Well Studio, 971 NW Spruce Ave., Corvallis. Tuesdays, March 6 through April 10 (no class March 27). 7 p.m. A core and upper-

body workout designed to be used as strengthening for horse riding (although you don’t have to ride to appreciate the workout). The class is specifically designed to give a full body power workout, challenging the balance, core and legs. Props will be provided. Instructor: Antigone Cook. Information: 541-224-6566 or www. Woman Citizen Film Series at Owen Hall, 1501 SW Campus Way, Corvallis. “Autumn Gem: A Documentary on China’s First Feminist.” 6 to 8 p.m. Shiao-ling Yu, professor of Foreign Languages and Literatures, will host a free showing of a documentary about Qui Jin, champion of women’s rights and first female martyr of China’s 1911 Revolution.


Scholars Talk: Linda Richards at 121 The Valley Library, Oregon State University, Corvallis. “Starfish, Fallout Shelters and Human Rights.” 3 to 4 p.m.

Parent Blast Back To Prom Life For Charity Crescent Vally High School will be holding a “Parent Prom” on Saturday, March 3rd at their cafeteria. The event is slated for 8 p.m. at Crescent Valley High School, 4444 N.W. Highland Drive, Corvallis. The prom is for adult parents in Corvallis, Philomath and Albany and includes music, refreshments, a photographer and a silent auction. The event is to help fundraise for three local non-profit organizations: Children’s Miracle Network, Old Mill Center and the Jackson Street Youth Shelter. The Children’s Miracle Network is a program raising money for neonatal care units to help premature babies needing extensive care in the early few months of their lives. The Parent Prom will raise funds for the Sacred Heart Medical Center in Eugene. Sacred Heart Medical Center delivers medical care to young patients by providing them with the best equipment and technology. Approximately 75 babies a year are transported to Sacred Heart’s NICU from referral

hospitals in a five county area. To learn more, please visit The Old Mill Center for Children and Families provides local services to address the educational, social, emotional, and family needs of a diverse population of children. Their unique range of services allows them to provide both individual and group support to at-risk children and their families. Learn more at The Jackson Street Youth Shelter serves homeless, runaway, and other youth in crisis. It is located in down-

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March Reading Group at Grassroots Books, 227 SW 2nd. St, Corvallis. 6:30 to 8 p.m. Sarah B. leads the discussion of Lost on Planet China, an account of J. Maarten Troost’s adventures in China for her first Reading Group. Get the book at 15% off through March 6.


Community Soup at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 4515 SW West Hills Road, Corvallis. 5 to 7 p.m. Local restaurants and chefs are, once again, coming together to provide soup, bread and dessert for the third annual Community Soup. All proceeds benefit Community Outreach.


calendar of events

events/between_the_cracks/. Corvallis High School Drama Dept. presents “Annie” at 1400 NW Buchanan Ave., Corvallis. 2 p.m. & 7 p.m. Tickets: $10 adults & seniors, $8 students, $5 youth 12 and under. Advance tickets: www. The Sugar Wife at Oregon State University Theatres, 145 Withycombe Hall, Corvallis. March 1, 2, 3, 9, 10 at 7:30 p.m. March 11 at 2 p.m. www.oregonstate. edu/dept/theatre. Parent Prom at Crescent Valley High School, 4444 NW Highland Dr., Corvallis. 8 p.m. The prom is for adults (parents) in Corvallis, Philomath and Albany. There will be lights, refreshments, a photographer and a silent auction to aid with fundraising efforts for Children’s Miracle Network, Old Mill Center and Jackson Street Youth Shelter. Admission: $30 per person, $50 per couple. Information: Bryce Johnson, 541-231-4533.

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town Corvallis near the public library. The shelter can serve up to 12 youth each night and serves youth 10 to 17. Kids can stay for one night, or many months at a time depending on their needs. All residents are encouraged to take an active role in resolving their own problems and are connected to the resources they need to do so. For more information, visit Admission to the Parent Prom is $30/person, $50/couple. You can get more information or advance tickets by contacting Bryce Johnson at 541231-4533.



Webster Chicago at Papa’s Pizza Parlor, 1030 SW Third St., Corvallis. 6 p.m. every first Thursday is blues night. 541-757-2727. Corvallis New Horizons Band, 6:15 p.m. The New Horizons Band is a friendly group welcoming players at all levels. Admission is a quarterly tuition fee. Rehearsal location/ information: Sharon Oefelein, 541-754-6098. Old Age, Electric Jellyfish, Brian Smith at Interzone, 1563 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis. 7 p.m. Old-Time Music Jam at Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St Corvallis. 7 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Square Dance Lessons at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 4515 SW West Hills Rd, Corvallis. 7 to 8:30 p.m. Thursdays. Both singles and couples are welcome. DJ H-Ram & Joshua Soto at Impulse Bar and Grill, 1425 Northwest Monroe Avenue, Corvallis. 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Ladies get in free until 11 p.m. First Thursday Poetic Open Mic at Cloud 9, 126 Southwest 1st Street, Corvallis. 9:30 p.m. (all ages until 10 p.m.). Open-mike poetry and spoken word. For more information, contact HYPERLINK “mailto:cloud9@gmail. com” Buckin’ Thursday Western Night at Jack Okole’s Bar & Grill, 140 NW 3rd. St. Suite B, Corvallis. 10 p.m. “The Cat Like Reflexes” at Bombs Away Cafe, 2527 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis. 10 p.m.


“Progressive Thursdays” with Khoi Tran at SubZero Corvallis, 126 SW Fourth St. Corvallis. Admission: $3 cover, free for ladies all night.


Music a la Carte at Memorial Union,

Sustainability Coalition’s Annual Town Hall Meeting March 1 • 5-9 pm The Corvallis Sustainability Coalition kicks off one of their most important events of the year at the CH2MHill Alumni Center, 725 SW 26th St. on the OSU campus. The Annual Town Meeting features a Sustainability Fair which starts at 5 p.m. and features exhibits by the Sustainability Coalition’s partners and action teams. The exhibits will display a variety of the Coalition’s partners’ efforts to build a sustainable community. Music during the fair will provided by the Camerata String Quartet, and their will be local food to enjoy as well After the fair concludes at 7 p.m., attendees will gather for the Town Hall Meeting where they will be invited to participate in an interactive community conversation about the state of sustainability in Corvallis. A “Community Scrapbook” slide show will highlight sustainability accomplishments of the Coalition’s partners and action teams during the past year. Participants will also have the opportunity to view a

short film about the Buy Local First campaign. The Sustainability Coalition asks all participants and attendees to help make the Town Meeting a model sustainable event with zero waste, low energy and water use, and local food. To do your part, please consider doing the following: Use energy-efficient transportation: Walk, bike, carpool, or take the bus to the event. Bike racks are on the north side of the Alumni Center and on the northwest side of LaSells Stewart Center. For bus routes, visit Leave no trace: Bring only recyclable, compostable, or reusable items with you to the event. (Example: Bring your own water bottle or mug.) Turn trash to treasure: Place recyclable and compostable items in the proper receptacles. We will have staffed recycling stations. For more information, please visit:

Oregon State University, 112 Memorial Union, Corvallis. Petrucci Quartet featuring Laura Zaerr on harp. 12 to 1 p.m.

Gina Machovina at del Alma, 36 SW Washington Ave. Suite 102, Corvallis. 6:30 p.m. 541-753-2222.

Michael Riley at The Downward Dog, 130 SW First Street, Corvallis. 6 p.m.

Friday Night Dance at Corvallis Senior Center, 2601 NW Taylor Ave., Corvallis. 7 to 9:30

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Bobby C at The Beanery, 500 SW 2nd. St. Corvallis. 8 p.m. “Coin of the Realm Orchestraâ€? at Fireworks Restaurant, 1115 Southeast 3rd Street, Corvallis. 8 p.m. Delinquent Brothers: “Get Someâ€? at Odd Fellows Hall, 223 SW Second St., Corvallis. 9 p.m. Admission: $5. www. “Electro Fridaysâ€? at SubZero Corvallis, 126 SW Fourth St., Corvallis. 10 p.m. Admission: $2 cover. www.subzerocorvallis. com. Hip Hop Night at Jake Okole’s Bar and Grill, 140 NW 3rd. St. Suite B, Corvallis. 10 p.m. “Philly’s Phunkestraâ€? at Bombs Away Cafe, 2527 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis. 10 p.m. Admission: $5 cover. “Rainbow in the Cloudsâ€? at Cloud 9, 126 SW First St., Corvallis. First Fridays. 10 p.m.


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The Hilltop Big Band at Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St., Corvallis. 7:30 p.m.


Red Raven Follies with Babs Jamboree at Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. Corvallis. 7:30 p.m. Admission: $10. 541738-7469. Mango Django at Fireworks, 1115 SE 3rd St., Corvallis. 8 p.m.


Audiophilia with Moses Maxwell at Cloud 9, 126 SW First St., Corvallis. 10 p.m.

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OSU Faculty Recital at LaSells Stewart Center, 875 Southwest 26th Street, Corvallis. 3 to 5 p.m. Jessica Lambert (violin) and Rachelle McCabe (piano). 541-737-5592. Eric Vanderwall at Fireworks, 1115 SE 3rd St., Corvallis. 8 p.m. Open Jam at Harrison’s Bar & Grill, 550 NW Harrison Blvd., Corvallis, 9 p.m.



Ukulele cabaret (community open mic and jam), First Alternative South Store, 1007 SE Third St., Corvallis. 7 to 9 p.m. on first Fridays. Hosted by Suz Doyle and Jeanne Holmes of Ukes of Hazard. 541-753-8530 or

Heart of the Valley Children’s Choir Spring Concert at First United Methodist Church, 1165 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis. 3 p.m. Admission: $8 general, $5 youth. Advance tickets available at Gracewinds Music in Corvallis.


Southtown Open Mic Talent Search at Fireworks, 1115 SE 3rd. St. Corvallis. 9 p.m. Free admission with $2 minimum purchase. $5 Entry Fee required for the Contest Round.


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p.m., first three Fridays. Live music by The Syncopators. All ages welcome. Admission: $4 general, $2 students. 541-766-6959.


Celtic Jam at Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd., Corvallis. 7 p.m. 541-286-2342. Timba Tuesday at Impulse Bar and Grill, 1425 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis. 7:30 p.m.

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Delinquent Brothers Productions will be back at Odd Fellows Hall on Friday, March 2nd to provide their usual high quality 2-stage EDM events. For this month’s show, Delinquent Brothers presents “GET SOME.� The show is for 18 and over only and admission is $5 at the door. Two special guests will be performing that night: James Renegade, known as Portland’s “Electro Badbay�, has played for packed dance floors all over the West Coast including Seattle, Oakland and San Francisco. He has opened or closed for some of the industry’s biggest icons such as The Bloody Beetroots, Morgan Page, Wolfgang Gartner, Coldblank, Kill The Noise and more. Token, a multi-genre DJ and producer, is known for bringing fresh sounds to every city he plays, spinning everything from popper to prince Fidget and 14 karat Dutch to dubstep and drumstep. He’s shared stages with Felguk, Morgan Page, and Shortee just to name a few. Plan for a great night at Odd Fellows on 223 SW 2nd St., Corvallis from 9 p.m to close. Remember no drama, no weapons and no drugs. There’s of course, no exceptions. Bag check and coat check at the door. Follow Delinquent Brothers Productions on Facebook at www.facebook. com/Delinquent.Bros.Productions.


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My leader lives in an isolated fruit stall Should I call him Boss? Or Mr. Darth Maul? Like Shakespeare said Love is blind, and zombies cannot see. We just smell and then, all humans cease to be. We can’t swim We can’t cry But we have emotions That make us wanna learn to “re-die”. Death for us is A reason to live We enjoy it as much as beef with cheese. What do you prefer? We got all kinds of beasts Fatties, tongues, the likes, Giants with cleaves, Topless without sleeves. Cannibalism, has made us this way Romero, that basterd, will pay. Control us, oh master dominator Romero, you great creator.

And when I say GO! I mean, eat humans to death. Taste their guts, Make a blood omelet. I’m Todd and this is Katy, Prepare for devastation. We can make perfect zombie characters In a fictional movie adaptation. The angry mob is here, let’s attack Humans you are all a filthy nut sack. Make a huge formation Raise our hands like Michael Jackson But don’t get a nose implantation. Bring your Chainsaw, bring your guns I don’t even care If you are the so called Ash. Part 3: Feed, Brothers! We starve to death Any moment With every smelly breath. We feed with skin and bones, Kidneys for main dish. All the other greasy stuff, blows,

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One of those pleasures, feast on that flesh chew it, spit it, and then sphincter fresh. When we hear noises We go towards there Sometimes we can’t find food Sometimes it’s a Dragon’s Lair. Part 4: FACTS Get killed by shotgun It’s the most common kill. But for the most part we like it ‘coz It still can’t make us feel. You can find us in malls, park stations There is no other place. Can’t dock, can’t run We always walk at a steady pace. Infected? Yes we are But so are you, reading all these. Because this language, Can be understood only by the diseased. — Manley Essex

Co nsu lting and

on mm o c n u

Ma rk e

pm en t



s storie than 30 years of verifiable case hi

It’s a disease, and we have it, We know it and yet we love it.

Watch my companion With his brains all scattered Got shot in the head, brain-dead. The human who shot him, just made his deathbed.

by mo re

We live among the undead Are we skeletons or just plain red? Creatures that still live. Want to kill, What have you got to eat in that smokin’ grill?

in g i s ba cked

Are we love machines Or just human beings A whole new race, Can I find your trace?

Couldn’t we just eat fish? That’s because we don’t have a brain See? Zombies are the Arch-Villain.

arke t

Part 2: March in battle!


Part 1: Existence!

Bu sin es sD ev elo

Rhetorical Zombies


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