The ClubHouse May 2012

Page 14

Thiel shares a light moment with Winnie Ng and her father as Mizuno Golf Schools instructor Victor Lim looks on.

12

BEING A GOOD GOLF PARENT

“To stop a parent from watching his kid play sports in the worst punishment we can unleash on parenthood.”

I

believe in bringing the parents into the teaching process. Parents are always involved, taking notes and learning how to be a good golf parent and to be a good role model. Too often parents are invested in their children’s game, which is a big mistake. Parents have to be invested in their children, not into their golf score. Parents have to learn to become a good golf parent by not demanding a number, not comparing their children with the other kids and to make golf enjoyable, because when golf becames enjoyable, it become a priority for a kid, then they can soar big time! We put the parents and kids together as a team, not only in golf but also in their home. Let me give you an example, each time I take a new junior golfer under my wings and I interview the kids together with their parents, more often than not, the kid, with his or head bowed down, will confess that he/she doesn’t like her parents watching him/her play golf. And the usual answer is “because everytime I look at them, they’re so disappointed in me.” At this point, the big bell rings in the parents’ ears and it’s the parents turn to bow their

heads. I’m looking at the parents and I say “This is what you have created because all you wanted out of your kid was a score.” That’s a big problem and so I have to teach the parents so that the kid wants mom and dad to come watch him/her play. It involves teaching the parents how to react, so that they don’t have to hide behind that big tree or stay out of the way because they think their kid doesn’t want them to watch. So, we are helping them to become a normal, solid family unit again and for them to understand how to raise that child to want to play golf We’ve had situations in our school where husband and wife changed their relationship because the golf will divide a mother and father because one spouse is always going to be pushing the child over the edge and the other is going to resist and the parents are having their own pow-wow half the time. In this programme, we train them, you’ve probably never heard about it but it is important, because if you want that kid to become an elite junior, he has got to have a home environment that’s elite. Parents are at the heart of the programme - they are there taking notes at training and tournaments

and they go home at discuss about that. Not go “What did you shoot today?” Golf should not be the priority, the kid is the priority. Parents need to learn to ask good quality questions, for example: ” What did you learn out there today, how was your short game, did you follow your mental thought processes as instructed by your coach?” Parents, if you’re reading this, please throw the score aside. This is not your game, this is your son’s game. Your self esteem does not revolve around your son or daughters’s score. Your pride in the community is not about your son or daughter winning tournaments. So, when a parent comes up to me and says that “We didn’t play well today”, I turn around and ask the parent “Did you play today?” As much as parents want to be seen as a team with their kids, they should never take over their child’s score as their own. And most importantly, support every other kid that plays with your own children because if that other kid becomes great, there is every chance that your child wants to be great too.


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