I Will Love God More Than Anything
Baptism: Compelled to Worship by BECKY RAND
rowing up, I did and said what I was supposed to do — this is what I had been taught in my Lutheran upbringing.
I asked Ryan what we were going to do. He said, “We’re going to find a church!” We eventually ended up trying the
But in my late teenage years, I met and fell in love with my hus-
church that our neighbor attended, The Chapel. While there,
band, Ryan, who happened to be an atheist. I no longer thought
we both found ourselves crying and asking each other after-
about what I was supposed to do and instead started doing what
ward, “Is church supposed to feel that good?”
I wanted to do. I believed I could keep up my relationship with Christ with-
Our kids loved The Great Adventure, Ryan and I joined a small group, and we knew we had found our home. We also
out going to church and by marrying this man that I loved. I
knew one of the next steps we needed to take was baptism,
told myself I didn’t need church to be connected to God. After
not only for our spiritual relationships with Christ, but also to
several years, we had three kids, and life was full. But I knew
celebrate our marriage.
something had changed. As I look back, I realize I should have seen what was going
What a change from my experience growing up — I’m now doing and saying things not just because it’s what I am supposed
on with Ryan. I should have known something was wrong, but
to do, but also because it’s what I want to do. I felt compelled to
I wrote much of it off to our differences.
be baptized because I want to worship. God has been doing an
One weekend, I went to visit a cousin for a few days. When
amazing work in our lives through The Chapel!
I came home at midnight, Ryan was up waiting for me, which was weird because he gets up at 4 a.m. for work. He sat me down and told me he had bought a book a few days earlier, Beyond Belief by Texas Ranger Josh Hamilton. In the book, Josh shared about his addiction to cocaine and pornography and his struggles in life. Ryan then confessed to me that he had been addicted to cocaine for the past eight years. I was oblivious to his struggle. Our kids were 2, 3, and 4 years old at the time. My reaction was shock and anger. As he shared the details of his struggles, I asked if there was anything more, if he had ever been involved with anyone. He confessed that he had an affair a few months before our youngest child was born. And while the physical affair lasted only a few days, he continued
“What a change from my experience growing up — I’m now doing and saying things not just because it’s what I am supposed to do, but also because it’s what I want to do.”
talking to her for two more years. Ryan told me he was sharing all this with me because he loved me. He wanted to make a change, and, because of this book, he had given his life to Christ.
Published on Dec 2, 2011