Page 6

DATING

continued from page 5 (The Truth About Abuse)

of my friends, bullying them as a way to try and relieve my own pain. Over the year, I did find some comfort in spending time with Mr. Kuhlman. I never told him what happened to me, but I better by simply talking to him. He Staffer Sabrina Heston discusses how choosing not to date classmates at felt could always tell when I was upset, but EHS can be difficult and offers advice on how to make it work. he never pried too much, giving me the by Sabrina Heston Don’t be afraid to ask these questions. option to tell him if I wanted, but never forcing me to say anything. This was ost of you know how hard it of great help to me as I went through is to make a relationship work Maintain contact. Skype, text and / or the year. Still, I was fighting depression while juggling school, work call each other to keep in touch. Being a part as I struggled to understand why this and other activities, even if you see your of each other’s daily life is very important. happened to me. Finally, a little over halfway significant other every day at school. But through my freshman year, even though what is it like to make a relationship work Do not become controlling. Let I was terrified to tell anyone these sewith someone who goes to a different your other half live his or her life crets, I found myself desperate enough speak up and tell someone what hapschool in a different town, or in a differ- and you live yours. If they want to to pened. I went to one of my teachers and ent state, or even someone who is in col- hang out with friends, or go to a par- told him my story. I found healing in lege? It isn’t the easiest job trying to make ty, let them. Trust is important; with- talking to him, and he reminded me that long distance relationships work, but that out it, your relationship will not last. I was more than what David told me I was. He then helped me tell my parents doesn’t mean that they aren’t possible. about what happened. They were, and If you are willing to put in See him or her often. Try visiting as of- still are, very supportive. Shortly after, the time and effort to make a long dis- ten as possible. Being in high school might I told another one of my teachers, and tance relationship successful, then a make this difficult, but the best way to visit she reminded me again that David’s actions did not have to define me. few pieces of advice might be helpful. someone in a different town or state, is to As I began to accept my situmeet in the middle. Plan ahead; figure out ation, I still struggled sometimes as I Define the Relationship. If he thinks what days work best for the both of you. dealt with my peers. My friends often made crude sexual and rape related you two are just seeing each other, and you jokes, and these hurt me deeply. I felt think you two are boyfriend-girlfriend, Many EHS students know first like they didn’t understand what I was then there is already miscommunication in hand the challenges of dating someone going through, and these jokes brought the relationship. Make sure you both have who does not go to school here. Junior back painful memories of the night I was raped. an understanding as to where you stand Darian White has been dating Pete I do want you to realize that with the other person. Are you boyfriend- Gonzales for a little over six months. there is hope. The process has been girlfriend or two friends just hanging out? White said, “We make it work by long and hard, but I have found healing. Day by day, I am made whole again staying positive. We see each other twice and I can see a bright future ahead of a week, and the days we aren’t together, me. The fear that once controlled my we support each other and keep our spir- life is losing its power over me. I still with the pain, especially when its up. I think the most important part of struggle other people are not sensitive to abuse. a relationship is by far trust. Being able I will probably always have to battle to trust each other in what we are do- these emotions but I am not going to ing, or where we are is very important.” let them control me. I can heal. I can grow. Also, not being able to talk 24/7 and Rape is a very serious crime, see each other every day could put and it is not to be taken lightly. For strain on a relationship,” “I’m not try- those who have never experienced it, might almost seem like a joke but ing to make us seem like the perfect rape it is one of the farthest things from it. couple either. We have our argu- Sexual abuse and harassment is a very ments and bad days. Sometimes real issue and it happens to people just we miss each other a lot and we like you and me, and perhaps the people you pass in the hall everyday. So aren’t positive about it. It’s hard, next time you’re about to make another really hard. But totally worth it.” joke about rape, stop and think for a Photo Courtesy of Darian White moment, and try to realize what it really means.

OUTSIDE OF EHS

M

page 6 // Opinion

The Cardinal Issue 2  

December 2011

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