March ~ 2016
Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine
Águilas - Lorca - Totana - Condado - Alhama - Camposol - Fuente Alamo - Pto de Mazarrón - Cartagena - Calasparra - Caravaca - Cehegín - Mar Menor - Mula - Moratalla
THE Dear Readers,
How are you all? I trust that everyone has had a fantastic February and are now rejoicing at the arrival of Spring. Well I say spring, at the time of writing this the weather seems to have taken a rather inclement turn with strong, cold winds. It seems like we had autumn in winter and are now having winter in spring! Fingers crossed by the time you are reading this, thing will have cheered up! Anyway enough about the weather, let’s get down to the business of what we have in store for you in this month’s edition of The Journal! Sadly, this month we have been informed that a spate of burglaries has been taking place on Urbanisation Camposol. Many years ago I was a victim of a break in on Camposol myself, and I can honestly say that it is a despicable, deplorable crime that can only be committed by the lowest of the low. We have an article by Dr Peter Pitt about the impact that burglary has on its victims and the potential profile of the people that commit these crimes. I hope that the article serves as a reminder to the community to safeguard their homes and belongings. Continuing on things pertaining to our community, one could venture to reason that by and large our community is one of animal lovers (there are exceptions to every rule, before I get any letters of complaint!) This month we have published a very well written and comprehensive guide to animal cruelty and the law here in Spain. Animal lovers or not, we are sadly able to see daily examples of cruelty to animals in this corner of the world. It’s an interesting article to read, and a handy one to hang onto for future reference. I would once again like to state, for anyone who is not already aware, The Journal is a politically neutral publication. It always has been and always will be. I’m reminding our readers of this fact because this month we have a smoking hot sponsored party statement from the CDiP (Camposol and District Independent Party), which pulls no punches about the party’s feelings regarding the recent goings on in Mazarron town hall regarding Urbanisation Camposol. Regardless of your political persuasion, I can guarantee that you will want to read this. Enjoy this month’s magazine! See you next month! Robbie Rutherford
Proud to be a climate neutral publication
News brought to you in conjunction with Tumbit- the leading website for News, Legal, Financial and Procedural information in Spain Note to all advertisers, and contributors: Any new adverts, changes to existing adverts or articles for inclusion in the following month’s magazine should be with us by no later that the 13th of the current month.
CONTACT US: GENERAL MANAGER Robert Rutherford
664 287 099
ART WORK Danny McCarthy Insignia Graphics 618 615 903 CONTACT DETAILS www.thejournalspain.es 968 103 008 CONTRIBUTORS Dawn Llewellyn-Price The gazpacho-monk Paul Cosco Ben Van Nimmen Shirley Ann Fisher Anne Bennett The Camposol Farmacia TO ADVERTISE
CALL: 664 287 099 DISCLAIMER: Whilst every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of the contents of this publication, no responsibilities can be accepted for inaccuracies, however caused. The information carried in this magazine is for guidance only.You should never act or refrain from action, on the basis of any such information.You should take appropriate professional advice on your particular circumstances. The opinions expressed are not necessarily the views of the publishers. The Journal Dawn Llewellyn-Price does not accept liability for any goods & John Brown services featured.
Patrick Waller Shirley Ann Fisher Anne Bennett Allan Doyle Debs Jenkins
THE JOURNAL SPAIN
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Supreme Court rule in favour of Murcia over Corvera Airport
The Superior Court of Justice ruled in favour of the Regional Ministry of Development for Murcia in two of the three cases brought against Aeromur â€“ the former developer and concession holder for Corvera Airport. The consortium, led by construction company Sacyr, has launched over a dozen different appeals to delay payment of any penalties as a result of their continued inability to open the airport within the agreed timeframe, and for the costs incurred by the regional government in arranging and financing the loan guarantee. The court auditors considered that the penalties levied by the region were â€˜too softâ€™. The airport â€“ which was actually completed in January 2012 â€“ was never actually officially handed over to the owners, and the regional government was forced to terminate Aeromurâ€™s contact in January 2013. Last October the Litigation Division of the Supreme Court officially approved the legalities of the termination, and now recognises the right of the Community to demand the return of the EU182 Mln loan guarantee arranged for Aeromur when they were unable to secure the required funds to complete the project themselves back in 2010. However, these 2 judgments still leave the door open for the regional government to still be awarded damages for the lack of a functioning airport, as per the contract with Aeromur.
Olive oil prices jumped almost 20% in 2015
Bad news, olive oil fans: your favourite salad dressing got more expensive last year. Bad weather and disease hurt Europeâ€™s olive harvest in 2015, while the continentâ€™s top producers suffered fierce competition from Tunisia, which used a bumper harvest to leap into the worldâ€™s top exporter position. All that means the price of olive oil has jumped almost a fifth. European shoppers spent an extra â‚Ź231m (ÂŁ178m) on olive oil in 2015, after the retail price of oil jumped 19.8%, the FT reports. This means olive oil was now worth 17 times the value of crude oil. Global production for the 2014-15 crop year was 25% lower than the previous yearâ€™s harvest, according to the International Olive Council (IOC). Spain, which makes just over a third of world output, suffered a drought which slashed production. Italyâ€™s slump followed a fruit fly infestation . The slowdown in emerging markets also hit the olive oil trade, the IOC said. Imports into Russia fell 33% and Brazilians bought in 8% less. Trade with Australia and Canada also fell, but imports to China and the US held firm. The IMFâ€™s latest commodity report said olive oil was worth $4,658/tonne (ÂŁ3,212) in the final quarter of 2015. This was just over 1% higher on the year but lower than the previous 3 months. Next yearâ€™s prices - and the cost of your dressing - will depend on 2016â€™s harvest. Early estimates from the IOC were for 2015-16 olive oil production to bounce back 22%.
Find Miles The Water Hero
Your Chance To Win A Menu Del Dia For 2 People at Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron. All you have to do is find a smaller version of this image which has been hidden in THIS magazine. When you find him just send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or call into Bar Med saying exactly where he is, give us your name and preferred means of contact.There will be one winner each month who will be randomly selected by the Editor from the correct answers. The winner will be contacted by their preferred means of contact.The EditorÂ´s decision is final . There is no prize alternative. The prize cannot be transferred to any other person and the meal must be booked directly with Bar Med Tel 968 59 58 64. Happy Hunting!!
Last months lucky winner was Julia Lockey Well Done! Contact the bar to claim your prize!
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Spain’s image improves ‘almost around the world’
Spain’s image is improving nearly around the world, with the exceptions being Venezuela and Argentina, and notable gains are being registered in North Africa and the Middle East, Brand Spain, an agency created by the Foreign Ministry in 2012, said. Foreign Minister Jose Manuel GarciaMargallo and High Commissioner for Brand Spain Carlos Espinosa de los Monteros attended an event on Feb. 16 at Madrid’s Casa de America, where
the latest figures on Spain’s image were released, Brand Spain said. Spain’s image in Venezuela and Argentina fell in recent months, Espinosa de los Monteros said, adding that a recovery was expected following Mauricio Macri’s election as Argentina’s new president. The Brand Spain high commissioner, who took office on July 12, 2012, said the country’s image “enjoys good health” and Spain “continues to be an attractive investment destination.” Recent figures released by Brand Spain, which was created to improve Spain’s image abroad and among Spaniards, show that the country was viewed in early 2012
In memory of Ruby Walker
as a magnificent place to live, visit and retire, thanks to its good climate, safety and tourism potential. Spain, however, was not viewed as a modern nation with cutting-edge technology 4 years ago, a situation that Brand Spain says it has turned around, helping improve the Iberian country’s image and confidence, and presenting a more modern and dynamic face to the world. The change has led to “great advances” in globalizing the Spanish economy, according to Brand Spain, which says exports are up about 50 percent since 2007 and Spain now ranks 9th in foreign direct investment (FDI) with nearly $716 billion in 2014.
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Welcome to El Faro, café & ice cream parlour We are glad to welcome you to our beautiful corner in Costa Cálida, Murcia, Spain. Our goal is to make your stay even more pleasant. Puerto de Mazarrón's weather, its gorgeous beaches and incomparable spots are enjoyable year-round, regardless of the time chosen to visit this coastal village. The area offers a rich and varied gastronomy. Visit us in Cuesta del Faro Manuel Acosta, where you will be surprised by our plant lined terraces from which you will be able to enjoy the best view of the harbour. We offer a wide selection of ice cream, milkshakes, cocktails and coffee drinks. We also offer free wireless Internet connection. Follow us in Facebook, Foursquare, Twitter stay up-to-date on our promotions and contests!!
Opening for Easter! From 23th until 27th (from Wednesday until Sunday) in March. Open daily from 15.30 until late!
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O ffi c e : 968 152 191 Mobile: 618 615 903
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We also have offices in Murcia, Los Alcázares and La Zenia
Do you live in Spain and have assets abroad? If so, you may need to fill in Form 720 which is a declaration for all fiscal residents in Spain (Spanish people and foreigners alike) detailing the assets which they hold outside of Spain – so not just in the UK, anywhere in the world. As a basic rule, someone is a fiscal resident in Spain if they spend more than 183 days in the calendar year living here. There has been much talk in the press of late regarding changes in the obligation to make this declaration, but at the present time nothing has been officially changed, so those that need to file this form should do so straight away. The form itself relates to foreign
submitting the forms if necessary, by assets held at 31st December 2015 the 31st March 2016 deadline. for those people who were fiscal residents in Spain during that tax If you need any advice on this or year. There are three main categories any other matter then please call of assets which may need to be us on 968 15 57 85 or email maz@ included: a) bank and building society accounts abadabogados.com b) real estate c) shares and securities. If the value of your assets in any one of these categories was greater than 50,000 euros at 31/12/2015, then all of your assets (ie in all three groups) need to be declared. If you are unsure which assets need to be declared, or if you do indeed At Casa Del Mar we offer a high quality, reliable need to make this and trustworthy service for clients. declaration or not, then please get in touch with We have the finest selection of Properties in Isla us so that we Plana, Puerto de Mazarrón, La Azohia and can assist you in
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INSTALLATION OF CENTRAL HEATING, AIR CONDITIONING & WATER TANKS
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Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine
In Loving Memory of Brian Colin Tokely 7th April 1935 ~ 15th January 2016
In Loving Memory of Edna Florence Lester 28th August 1920 ~ 21st January 2016
Maureen and her family would like to express their sincere thanks to all the friends and neighbours who have given us love and support. Special thanks to everyone who attended Brian’s funeral service
Barry & Pat would like to express their sincere thanks to all the many friends for the kind messages and cards of condolence. Special thanks to everyone who attended the funeral service and also toThe Reverend Bill Coyle & Reverend Deacon Val Caffyn for their kind words
In Loving Memory of George Wallace 14th October 1938 ~ 19th January 2016
In Loving Memory of Lynda Joyce Wheatley 27th May 1950 ~ 18th January 2016
Senga would like to express her grateful thanks to all her friends and neighbous for the love and support shown during the recent passing of George. Special thanks to everyone who attended the funeral service and gave to Help Mar Menor.
Roy would like to express his sincere thanks to the many friends and neighbours for their support shown during this very difficult time. Many thanks to all the friends who attended Lyn’s celebrations service it was lovely to so many people there. Special thanks to Simon & Jo for all their help and everyone who gave to help the Heroes in Lyn’s memory
In Loving Memory of Ann Laughton 15th February 1944 ~ 26th January 2016
In Loving Memory of Bob Allen 6th November 1930 ~ 30th January 2016
John would like to express his sincere thanks to all the friends and neighbours of Ann’s for all the support shown at this time. Special thanks to everyone who attended the celebrations service it means a lot.
Audrey, Michael & Mark would like to express their sincere thanks to all friends and neighbours for their kind expressions of sympathy and cards of condolence. Special thanks to everyone who attended the funeral service
In Loving Memory of Pierre Beeckman 5th July 1936 ~ 20th Jan 2016
In Loving Memory of Audrey Rhodes 26th May 1944 ~ 1st February 2016
Henney would like to express her sincere thanks to the many friends for all their love and support shown during this very difficult time. Special thanks to everyone who attended the funeral especially Pastor Gines and his wife Toni for such a beautiful celebration service. I miss your voice, your sweet smile. I miss everything of each beautiful day I miss simply being together. I just miss you and missing you hurts
David & the family of the late Audrey Rhodes would like to express their sincere thanks for all the support received from their many friends and neighbours, it has been greatly appreciated . Special thanks to everyone who attended the funeral service and made a donation to the burns unit at the Arrixaca hospital which raised 195 euros.
In Loving Memory of Ruby Walker 28th June 1980 ~ 30th January 2016
In Loving Memory of Walter Scott Little 2nd August 1935 ~ 5th February 2016
Colin & Ruby’s family would like to express how overwhelmed they are by all the love and support they have received since the tragic and sudden loss of Ruby. Words cannot describe how moving it was to see over 170 come to celebrate Ruby’s short life. Over 550 euros was donated in her memory to the work of PALS, thank you to everyone who gave so much. xxxx
Daphne and her family would like to thank all their friends and neighbours for the kind words and messages of comfort during the recent loss of Walter. Special thanks to all who attended his funeral service, many thanks it is greatly appreciated.
In Loving Memory of Bernard Thomas Nazer 16th November 1944 ~ 18th February 2016
In Loving Memory of John Jolly 8th March 1942 ~ 7th February 2016
Pauline and her family would like to express their sincere thanks to all the many friends and neighbours for the lovely messages and kind words of support received during this difficult time. Special thanks to everyone who attended Bernard’s celebration of life service and gave to the wonderful work of MABS in his memory, also to Bonnie & Steve and Signe for just being there.
Magraret & her family would like to express their sincere thanks to all the friends and neighbours for their kind expressions of sympathy and support shown at recent the passing of John. Special thanks to everyone who attended John’s funeral service and gave in his memory.
THE ENGLISH FUNERAL DIRECTOR & MAZARRÓN’S NEW TANATORIO WORKING IN PARTNERSHIP
The English Funeral Service is owned and run by Tony Smith. Tony says "I am the only qualified English Funeral Director working in the Costa Calida & Costa Blanca regions. My company provides a complete 24hr English Funeral Service to the expatriate community. I am first and foremost a professional, fully qualified Funeral Director with over 27 years experience. I also offer many different ways of paying for the funeral; Spanish Funeral Insurance (see below); Golden Leaves; Register with The English Funeral Director, or simply pay at the time of the funeral. English: Tony Smith 650 631 719 Spanish: Mariano Canovas Montiel 649 821 384
WORLDWIDE FUNERAL INSURANCE WITH COVER FROM DAY ONE. Includes delaying the Funeral for minimum of 5 days
CALL 650 631 719
Let us see some examples.
change lanes. We hope the information provided in this article is of interest. If you would like to contact Línea Directa please call 902 123 161 More information on Línea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com
1st EXIT RIGHT Enter roundabout keeping to right hand side lane. Stay in lane until exit is reached. Indicate and exit roundabout. HOW TO NEGOTIATE ROUNDABOUTS If you are unsure about the correct way to negotiate roundabouts, here are some simple rules to help you enter and exit roundabouts safely and in the right lane. APPROACHING ROUNDABOUTS It’s important to remember to give way to traffic already on the roundabout. If the roundabout is outside urban areas of towns or cities, keep right. If the roundabout is in a built-up area inside a town or city and the lanes are clearly marked, you should use the lane that best corresponds to the exit you need to take. LEAVING ROUNDABOUTS This causes the most confusion amongst drivers. Which lane to choose? Why do I get beeped at if I’m in the right lane? Drivers must exit roundabouts from the right hand lane, because the only way to leave the roundabout is by turning right. This doesn’t mean we always have to enter the roundabout from the right hand lane. It depends on the exit we need to take. However this simple rule, in practice, can be more complex.
CONTINUING STRAIGHT ON (e.g. 2nd EXIT STRAIGHT AHEAD) Enter roundabout keeping to right hand side lane. Stay in lane until exit is reached. Indicate prior to exit and leave roundabout. TURNING LEFT OR CHANGING DIRECTION (e.g. 3rd OR FINAL EXIT) Enter roundabout keeping to left hand side lane. Stay in lane until you have passed the exit before your turn off, then change lane by indicating right and giving other road users sufficient time to anticipate your manoeuvre. Don’t forget that drivers circulating in the outside lanes have priority, so use your mirrors to ensure you are not blocking them as you
Car Rentals &Sales — Van Rental now available ! Also available from Alicante, Murcia & Valencia Airports Opening Hours Mon-Fri 09:30 — 14:15 and 17:00 — 19:30, Sat 09:30 — 14:15
968 199 156
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RESTAURANTE VILLAMARES LA AZOHIA When walking down the avda Central of La Azohia, one is often distracted from the world around as they become fully immersed in the intense beauty of the Mediterranean sea and dramatic mountain scape that rushes down to meet it. But next time you are take a moment to look around and you will find the gem of La Azohia right before you eyes! This stunning, contemporary styled restaurant sits in one of the most enviable spots overlooking the beach. The good news that they would like to share with readers of The Journal, is that after such a successful summer they have decided to stay open throught the winter months also. This is great news for everybody, especially if during the summer you never found the time visit. Restaurant Villamares is open ALL DAY- 7 DAYS A WEEK! It is an ideal place to stop for some refreshments, drink, tapas, or one of the most exquisite Menu Del Dia´s that the area has to offer. With fresh fish daily and a wide and varied menu, there is something for everyone to enjoy. The kitchen is open until 8pm Monday to Friday and stays open until late on the weekends. There are large outdoor spaces to relax in and marquee´s with patio heaters to keep you cosy on those chilly evenings. Why not come down early evening and soak up the atmosphere? Select something to drink from the extensive cocktail and champagne list and listen to some music while enjoying the amazing view and watching the sun set.You can use the free wifi to send your friends photos of you enjoying the best food, drink and scenery for miles around! There is bike parking and also the restaurant is delighted to be dog friendly making this the ideal place to stop and recharge after a bike ride or a ramble in the surrounding trails with the dog. If you are driving then you needn’t worry as there is ample parking, and also special reserved disabled parking in the immediate vicinity. With friendly staff, great food, great atmosphere, and a stunning location Restaurant Villamares, really does have everything to ensure that you have a great time with your family and friends.
Contact us on Contact us on 968 150 270 968 150 270 696 054 912
l a m po s o C HEALTH CL INIC
DOCTOR DOCTOR Dr. Daniel Lucas Dr. Jorge Rubio Graduate of . Graduate of Medicine at the Medicine and University of Surgery at the Murcia. Specialist Medical School in Clinical of MontevideoImmunology and Uruguay 1985, Bio-Regulatory Intensive Care and Medicine. General Chemical Pathology Practitioner for Specialist. General the National Practitioner for Health Service the National and member of Health Service the Emergencies and member of Department – the Emergencies Hospital de la Vega. Department – Murcia. Hospital de la Vega. Murcia
NURSE DOCTOR Virginia Moreno Dr. Diana Navas Gonzalez Carrillo. Bachelor of Medicine and Diploma in nursing Surgery at the in the faculty of University of Murcia Murcia. Specialist Official Master in in General Emergency, Critical and Digestive and Outpatient Surgery. Masters Nursing in Professional 5 years Hospital Development. experience in PhD course at A+E, and Primary the University Healthcare nursing. of Murcia. Extra Training Hospital of Amsterdam (Free University Amsterdam). Surgeon at National Health Hospital Lorenzo Guirao.
Jose Andrez Sanchez Del Alamo.
DOCTOR Dr Vivianne Jiménez Garzón
Diploma in Graduate od Physiotherapy in the Medicine at the Catholic University Pontifica Universidad San Antonio, Murcia Javeriana of Bogotà, Columbia Specialist in Sports Specialist in Family Injuries. and Community Club Physiotherapist Medicine for Club Deportivo General Practicioner Minera for the National Master of Osteopathy Health Service from the School of and member of Osteopath in Madrid the Emergencies Department Hospital Comarcal de Noroeste Murcia & Clinica Quiron, Murcia
The Camposol Health Clinic , located at the Business Centre, Sector A has launched a new membership scheme, under which any person, can join as a Camposol Health Clinic member. Membership status provides magnificent advantages to those patients who wish to utilise the benefits of our private clinic. For a small monthly fee members will receive: UNLIMITED ACCESS TO GP SERVICES The member may refer to Camposol Health Clinic GP for consultation as often as the associated patient may require, without any extra charge, just by making an appointment. UNLIMITED ACCESS TO NURSE SERVICES The member may refer to Camposol Health Clinic nurse for consultation as often as the associated patient may require, without any additional charge, just by making an appointment. Members will recieve nursing treatment with 50% discount. Access to PHYSIOTHERAPY Services Members may access Physiotherapy treatment at Camposol Health Clinic under preferential discounts and rates. FREE ACCESS SERVICES : PHYSIOTHERAPY CONSULTATION GP PRIMARY HEALTH CARE... INCLUDED NURSE CONSULTATION... INCLUDED Membership services : VACCINATION€ 3,00 INJECTIONS € 3,00 SIMPLE TREATMENT ( Blood Pressure and Glucose ) € 6,00 Dressings , EARWAX PLUGS , SUTURES € 8,00 ECG € 10,00 PHYSIOTHERAPY € 20,00 KINESIOTAPE € 3,00 DRY NEEDLING € 3,00 FUNCTIONAL BANDAGE € 5,00 BLOOD TEST as per type.
Camposol Health Clinic, has two types of Membership fees : INDIVIDUALS :Only € 15 per month COUPLES: Only € 25 per month COUPLES WITH CHILDREN: Only 20 per month + 5€ for each child
To sign up for the membership scheme, simply bring a copy of your N.I.E (or passport for non residents) and your bank details to the Camposol Business Centre on Sector A.
For more detailed information please call 968 103 008 or directly at the reception of the Business Centre, Sector A.
SECTOR B CAMPOSOL
Lunch Menu Only 9.95! Early Bird Evening Menu 6-8pm 12.95!
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A STATEMENT FROM FAST
FAST – synonymous of ‘The reason why some people have chosen to come and live in Camposol’. This fantastic Voluntary organisation is known by all in Camposol and beyond, and in its 4 years of existence it has given care, support and medical assistance to Residents and visitors alike. Regrettably, this did not comply with the Spanish Law regarding the Voluntary Sector which states “A Voluntary Association must be adequately insured for the activity it performs”. This was brought to our attention in September 2015, by the Head of the Mazarrón Guardia Civil/Red Cross, after which a massive search was launched for an Insurance Company that would offer the appropriate policy to cover FAST Responders in the performance of their duties. Many Spanish, European and Worldwide Insurance Companies were approached, both in the Professional and the Voluntary Sector, as well as Insurance Brokers, Legal Representatives, and even the British Consulate, unfortunately without result. Therefore, the Committee has today
decided to terminate the operation of FAST in its present form, and the FAST Constitution will be complied-with in relation to the winding-up process. However, we are investigating the possibility of continuing to offer our support and assistance within the boundaries of the Spanish Law. If you are interested in being part of the new FAST2016, please come to our meeting on Tuesday 23rd February, at 10am, at the Cultural Centre. To all who supported the original FAST in its short life, to our Responders, to our Support Team and to the members of our Committee, who stayed loyal when the going got tough, we would like to say the biggest heart-felt thank you. God Bless you and, please, be careful out there…. The FAST Committee 9th February 2016
Humanists of Murcia AGM The fourth AGM of the Humanists of Murcia took place in Bar Puente, La Majada, following the last Easy Rambling. The walk followed a meandering course around the pueblo and passed Ricardo’s casa. Oh know it didn’t, oh yes, it did! There were around 30 people attending the meeting including a token catholic and El Papa who kept an eye on proceedings.
The front row had Vivien, looking lovely as always, Carole and Avril to put the committee off their script. However, the script was pretty boring and uncontroversial as there was no voting and the Committee was surprisingly returned without comment. The only change is that Barrie takes the blundering bank vault keys from Deryck. The Humanists would like to thank Deryck for his work as Treasurer and hope that he enjoys his holiday in Switzerland. The annual subscription remains at an affordable 5€ per annum. Trevor takes control of the Discussion Group, Vincent continues with the Philosophers and Annie wheals the date stamp for the Library, oh and she also heads up the Darwinian Gardeners for another harvesting. The Walking Groups continue with Jon and Audrey (Proper and Easy) with John and Rhian helping out. Mike² run (Surely “struggle with” :Ed) the Almeria bunch. That is not entirely fair as the Almeria Group have had a very successful revival and on the January walk they outnumbered the sluggish Murcia people. Finally, a big thanks to our Chairman John B for another 12 months of outstanding leadership and lemons. For more information on the Humanists of Murcia and any of their programmes go to http://humanists.bolnuevo.com/
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THE IMPACT OF BURGLARY. During the latter part of my career I was attached to the prison service and worked in a number of prisons including HMP Wandsworth, Feltham Young Offenders Institution and the new women`s prison of HMP Bronzefield. My role within these establishments included interviewing all new arrivals into the prison to ascertain conditions such as their educational level and to identify any other problems new arrivals may had had. For example, many were dsylexic and some were pyschopathic or schizophrenic. During this time I interviewed murderers, sex offenders, drug dealers, fraudsters and bank robbers amongst offenders. The majority of such offenders generally speaking showed a degree of remorse for their criminal behaviour. Having said that, the one category of crime I came to utterly despise was burglary. Rarely, if ever did those convicted of this offence show any contrition for their offending behaviour. To them, decent householders were fair game regardless of age, gender or background. To burglars what they stole, often to feed a drug habit, was totally justifiable. The impact of a burglary on an individual and indeed family can
Mother´s Day Sunday 6th March Traditional Sunday Lunch with Music from Michelle & Friends from 3.30pm and a gift for every Mum. Wednesday March 9th 1pm Onwards "Ladies Wot Lunch" 3 Course Menu del Dia with Stalls including Jackie Bling Bags & more! (Supporting Sonrie Por Paula Charity) Thursday 17th March 8pm St Patrick´s Day Celebration Dinner with Guinness Promotion and Irish Singer Mick Boyd. and often is traumatic and psychologically very damaging. Not only can victims lose what is precious to them but they often feel violated and abused. They often develop deep neuroses about what has happened which exhibits itself in anxieties and insecurities. Many such victims actually want to leave their homes permanently after a burglary even though they may have lived within for many years. Not one burglar I interviewed ever gave a second thought as to the consequences of their behaviour.
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Readers of this article may well rightly ask why I am writing about this matter and I am afraid the
answer is very simple. Unfortunately on Camposol we have witnessed a spate of recent burglaries again. As such, this article is written to warn readers of these events and to seek help in identifying who is responsible for bring such crime into our urbanisation. Actually it is not all that difficult to create a general profile for the individual (s) committing such crimes. For example, the person (s) who have carried out these latest burglaries will almost certainly live within us on Camposol. They will blend in with the community here because they will be local. The burglar (s) will almost certainly be male and be within the age range of approximately 16-35 years old. It follows they will almost certainly have committed burglaries before both back in the UK and here and may well have a police record for such offences. They will probably be unemployed but seem to have money and may well have a drug or alcohol problem. In the latest burglary we can say with considerable certainty that the offender is very tall, certainly in excess of six feet. This is because the latest break-in was through a front door which was levered from the top and the angle at which the crow bar was used was very straight. This suggests the top of the door was easy for the burglar to attack.
I mentioned earlier that such thieves do not give a damn about what they steal and the latest burglary is particularly tragic. The gentleman who was robbed on Sector C along the road opposite the pig farm is an ex-serviceman who, for example, saw action in Afghanistan. The thief stole amongst a number of items his memory stick which records his experiences in that theatre of war. Of course, it contains many pictures of his ex-comrades-in-arms some who were tragically killed in action. Such an item has no value to whomsoever stole it but is invaluable to the individual who once owned it. One wonders just how low such burglars can sink? Another factor which may well assist in identifying those responsible for these awful crimes is as follows. It has been noticed that the latest spate of burglaries has occurred recently which may suggest whoever is responsible has just moved into Camposol or
F R T S A FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE S FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE S FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE FEA TURES FEATU RES FE FEA TURES FEATU has returned the Surbanisation after a FEA to URE EAT period of Fabsence. The other issue of
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We are grateful for the publication of this article for what we hope are obvious reasons. Certainly we wish to alert local residents to the prevailing situation regarding burglaries on our urbanisation. If any resident has a comment or suggestion to make in how we address this situation please email me on;firstname.lastname@example.org. Dr Peter Pitt.
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Animal Cruelty in Spain and the Law
This has been a pet article of mine (pun intended) that I have wanted to write for quite some time now. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to do so until Spain’s Criminal Code was amended last year by Law 1/2015 punishing animal cruelty, for the first time, with jail terms.
Spain’s historical disposition towards animal’s rights has been, let us say, somewhat hazy at best; to put it mildly and avoid ruffling feathers. This situation has changed dramatically post-Constitution as new open-minded generations, imbued by democratic ideals, seize power to shape laws in line with the core values that behove a modern society. Animal Cruelty – Laws There are three tiers of laws in Spain: National level: common to all 17 autonomous regions, which make up Spain, is the Criminal Code (article 337 explained below). Administrative level: each of Spain’s 17 autonomous regions has (schizophrenically) also passed its own legislation on animal cruelty. Local level: Spain has over 8,000 town halls. Each town hall is also empowered (did you even doubt it?) to pass its own regulation on the matter (ordenanza municipal). EU residents, which are ‘empadronados‘ or registered at the municipality’s census, can vote to elect mayors which can pass such laws. Just saying… Ideally, as in it’s a matter of common sense and not rocket science, we should have a common law that works throughout the whole nation so people don’t lose the plot on choosing from umpteen million laws – I’ll await with bated breath. Criminal Code – Article 337 Punishment ranging from three months up to one year in prison for those found guilty of mistreating animals unjustifiably in any manner or else inflicting them injury or submitting them to sexual abuse (sic). Animals object of protection are: 1. Domesticated or tamed animals. 2. Animals that are normally domesticated i.e. stray cats and dogs. 3. An animal that temporarily or permanently lives under human control. 4. Any animal that does not live in wilderness. The criminal punishment will be significantly aggravated when one of the following concurs: 1. The use of weapons or instruments harmful to an animal’s well-being. 2. Viciousness concurring in the offender. 3. If the animal loses an extremity or vital organ as a consequence of the torture inflicted. 4. The animal abuse takes place before an underage. Death of an animal can lead to serve a sentence of up to 18 months in jail. Abandoning Domesticated Animals
This is a despicable spectacle that takes place every summer break. Many of those animals that were gifted during the height of the Christmas season are abandoned to their own devices by their masters during the summer holidays. Spain’s Criminal Code now punishes those that purposely abandon domesticated animals to their own luck with fines ranging from one to six months. A Note on Jail Terms It should be noted that a judge, at his sole discretion, may commute a prison sentence when the offender has no prior felony record and the sentence is two years or less. Normally the defendant is ordered to perform community service instead. Historically there has been only one exception to this rule which involved a popular folk singer. On analysing animal cruelty it can be surmised from the above that most sentences will be for less than two years. So it is unlikely first-time offenders will be jailed unless they have a previous criminal record (which hasn’t been struck off). Administrative Sanctions Spain, being Spain, has 17 autonomous regions which legislation on animal cruelty varies considerably from one to the next. The most advanced one is that of Catalonia with Madrid’s being the oldest (1990). Fines, for animal cruelty, vary significantly ranging from a few thousand euros in Navarre up to over a hundred thousand euros in Aragon. Local Town Hall You can acquaint yourself with your local regulation on animal cruelty on visiting your town hall.
of human rights. Even the circumstances which aggravate punishment closely mimic those that deal with humans in other sections of the Criminal Code. It is truly commendable that the sensitivity has gradually shifted to encompass the protection of animal rights to the point of awarding jail terms to human offenders. In October 2.015, for the first time ever, an individual was charged, found guilty and convicted of beating to death his own racehorse after losing a competition in what now constitutes a landmark case. Not a stranger to breaking laws, he had been previously convicted for DUI. He is now serving his sentence in jail. Source: El Pais daily. Conclusion The amendment of article 337 is a great leap forward that reflects modern’s society gravitational shift towards animal’s rights. However, the law focuses only on domesticated animals and purposely excludes animals in wilderness. There is still much work to be done to lobby and push hard for an agenda that extends jail terms to those few who would abuse wild animal life. In any case, to my mind, it is a clear victory that animal’s rights in Spain have (finally) become a tenet of our society which can now be upheld legally. Ah, so many laws to choose from; you will be spoilt for choice! So next time you spot a miserable git torturing some poor defenceless animal, know that YOU can make a difference. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” – Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. AKA Mahatma (‘Great Soul’) Gandhi. Article by Raymundo Larraín Nesbitt
How to Report Animal Cruelty Just make a police report (denuncia), either physically or over the phone, in the territory over which the police force is competent. It doesn’t have to be the SEPRONA (Guardia Civil); although they are normally more sensitive towards these reports as they are tasked to protect and overview wild nature and I know for a fact they are fond of animals. Evolution of Animal Rights It is clear to those that practice law that lawmakers are gently, albeit relentlessly, nudging the idea of equating the protection of animal rights to closely resemble that
Juan y Ana
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Drone makes â€˜recordbreakingâ€™ Channel crossing A British company is the first in history to fly a drone across the English Channel -- a feat which was also the longest ever single
flight of a quadcopter.
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The team from Ocuair, a commercial drone company, flew the drone across the 32 kilometre stretch of water on an â€œunusually sunny and calm morningâ€?. The flight, starting in France and finishing in Dover, took just 72 minutes and, the team says â€œdemonstrates the
future potential of commercial drone technologyâ€?. The journey wasnâ€™t easy -because the English Channel is so busy, the drone had to dodge between two large boats. And 23 kilometres into the journey, the droneâ€™s GPS guidance stopped working, meaning the team had to manually guide it for the last 20 minutes of the flight, something they describe as â€œextremely challengingâ€?. To adhere to current drone regulations, the pilot had to follow in a boat within at least 500m of the drone. â€œGiven that the team were operating on the very edge of what is practically possible for a quadcopter, the weather conditions were critical,â€? the team wrote in a celebratory blog post. â€œAny type of adverse wind would have had a severe impact on the drone, meaning it might not make the distance. Given he was flying over water, there are no second chances or emergency landingsâ€?. The success of Ocuairâ€™s flight is likely to be music to the ears of companies such as
Amazon and Google, who are both experimenting with drone delivery services. Itâ€™s a rare piece of good news for drones, which have been beset by bad press. Researchers have warned that the flying machines could be used by terrorists and the Zano drone Kickstarter was recently investigated by trading standards after failing to deliver. And the Metropolitan Police have even considered training a team of â€˜drone hunting eaglesâ€™ in order to rid the skies of pesky drones. Ocuair staff believe the flight will help to develop drone technology further; team leader Richard Gill described the flight as an attempt to â€œpush the technology in a meaningful wayâ€?. â€œThe UK leads the world in terms of legislation, so I thought it would be good to see us lead the world in commercial UAV applications too,â€? he wrote. â€œI wanted to do something meaningful to stand out and show what this technology is capable of. Companies like Amazon, with their Prime Air service, have seen the commercial potential of drones. This attempt pushes the boundaries of what is technically possible.â€? â€œThis record is important in the context of future drone activity because in proves that drones can be reliably used over a distance.â€?
3D printed vertebrae implanted in â€˜world firstâ€™ surgery An Australian neurosurgeon has performed what he has described as a â€œworld firstâ€? by
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removing cancerous vertebrae and implanting in their place 3D printed vertebrae.
Ralph Mobbs, performed the surgery in late 2015 on a patient with chordoma, a rare form of cancer that occurs in the bones of the skull and spine. The 60-
year-old patient was affected in the two vertebrae responsible for turning the head -- meaning that if the 15 hour surgery failed, he’d
be left paralysed. Because of the position and function of these vertebrae they’re very hard to replace -any bones implanted from the rest of the body has to be a very exact fit. So, to avoid the issue, Mobbs decided to 3D print the replacements instead. He worked with a company called Anatomics to design and build the implants, which were made from titanium. The company also printed exact anatomical models of the patient’s head for Mobbs to practice on before the surgery itself. It was the first time such an operation had been attempted. Mobbs said that 3D printing was “the next phase of individualised health care.” “To restore bones, joints, organs with this type of technology really is exciting,” he said. “Well, here is our opportunity to really take it out there and to keep pushing the boundaries.” Although the patient’s tumour has been removed and he can move his neck, he is currently unable to speak or eat without assistance. But Mobbs stresses that with rehabilitative treatment, these problems will be resolved. Other surgeons and scientists have also experimented with 3D printed body parts. Scientists recently proved the feasibility or growing a 3D printed ear on a mouse’s back, a procedure they say could soon be applied to human transplanting too. And, less gorily, anatomy students at Australia’s Monash University started training for surgery on 3D printed organs.
This meat-free hamburger is made out of plant ‘blood’ Impossible Foods is taking the animal out of the meat industry. In its Californian laboratory, vegetables - beans, grains and greens - are broken down into their basic components such as proteins, fats and vitamins. Then they are re-combined to achieve comparable flavours and textures to flesh, down to a convincing plant-based “blood” which is derived from the molecule found in haemoglobin and which gives
blood its distinctive colour. The Redwood City startup has attracted significant investment totalling $183 million, including a series D round of $108 million (£120m) in October 2015 led by UBS and joined by Bill Gates and Horizons Ventures’ Li Ka-shing. According to some reports, Google made a rejected bid to acquire Impossible Foods last year, valuing the company at $200 million to $300 million. The startup has set “hardcore beef lovers” as its target market and says it will launch its first meat-free “impossible hamburger” in 2016. It claims that the product will have the benefits of a plant-based foodstuff - no cholesterol, antibiotics or hormones - but will possess the umami-rich taste of meat because of the proteins and nutrients that it has identified. Founder Patrick Brown says his company is taking food “from the landline to the iPhone” era.
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Dawn Llewellyn-Price Happy New Year everyone. Well, it would have been in 1751 when we last used the Julian Calendar. March, the month of Marbles and Skipping, first month of the year in those days, named after Mars, Roman god of War, best summed up by famous Spanish poet Antonio Machado, man of Seville and Madrid;The afternoon is bright, with spring in the air, a mild March afternoon, with the breath of April stirring, I am alone in the quiet patio looking for some old untried illusion some shadow on the whiteness some memory asleep on the stone rim of the fountain, perhaps in the air the light swish of some trailing gown March is the time wanderlust raises its head, and many of us are considering short breaks or lengthier holidays.
Travel is important to most of us, just that ‘getting away from home’ feeling of packing a bag and treading pastures new, or even returning to ‘pastures much loved.’ With a bit of luck I’ll have just returned from a (hopefully) snowy Prague, a long held dream of mine to see chocolate box houses and snowy spires, mostly through the lens of a camera, thermal insoles and a cloud of vaporised breath. And no doubt the odd tipple of Becherovka. Preparing for this trip, mid February, meant visits to thermal long John providers (him) and purveyors of the Russian Style Hat (me.) I now own about six. It’s my War & Peace heritage. When I get off that plane I will at least look like a local in my fake furs and sheepskin boots, all I need is a sledge to drag behind me with my (Easyjetsized) hand luggage strapped atop, and a borrowed Czech Wolf-dog to pull it.
give it my best shot. I’ve also got my eye on Berlin. Apparently the place to go for Brits at the moment. Watching the series Deutschland 83 added a little more fuel to the flame of desire, and with 300,000 Brits actually living there for the creative opportunities, cheap living, 24/7 party atmosphere and music scene, it must be worth a visit. Quick, Mein Herr, pass my heels, a bowler hat and a copy of Cabaret. Much as the fears of travel, even in Europe these days, must play a part in our future plans, we must never give up on our dreams and desires, even if sometimes they have to remain within the pages of a book, or the celluloid of film until such time they can be realised. Go forth, in the words of Machado:Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more; wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking. By walking one makes the road, and upon glancing back one sees the path that must never be trod again.
Move over Mission Impossible, it’s my turn to do the movie star thing on the streets of Prague. Not quite sure how minus five temperatures and glamour quite go together, but will
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Suduko Puzzles Answers in next month’s magazine
Q: What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? A: Short Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot? A: A stamp! Q: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years? A: The letter M Q: What has 4 eyes but can’t see? A: Mississippi Q: If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it? A: A Secret. Q: Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I? A: EMPTY Q: What has hands but can not clap? A: A clock
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Taking bookings already, Book now to save disappointment! (1st November 2015 to 1st April 2016) MONDAY, TUESDAY & THURSDAY DEALS; Book a double room for 49, we will include taxes, breakfast and 2x steak evening meals. When booking please quote ''FREESTEAKMEAL'' (Either Beef or Tuna steak) (Not applicable to any other offers) QUAD BIKING DEAL; If you book 2 single quads, for 3 hours which includes 2x4 course MenĂş del DĂas - we will throw in a double en-suite room for 1 night, and 2x buffet continental breakfasts at no extra cost! (99euros p.p) If you would like to swap one of our fantastic MenĂş del DĂas (Lunchtime menu) for a phenominal MenĂş de la Noche (Evening menu) then there is a 5 supplement P.P (Not applicable to any other offers)
Gift vouchers for activities, meals or accommodation are available!
Quad bike and Buggy tours take place everyday at Hotel la Mariposa in the Sierra Espuna. Experience the stunning Barrancos de Gebas, Badlands & Embalse de Algeciras. Prices start from just 39â‚Ź - Great family day out! Fully licensed and registered company
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Level Check on: Antifreeze fluid, Brake Fluid, Steering Fluid, Windscreen Wiper Fluid. Battery Check Exhaust Check Lights Function Check
Downhill mountain bike day -
Virtually no pedalling! 35 per person (Includes; Your push bike, safety equipment, transfer to the top of the Espuna, support vehicle, the guide, and a 4 course menu del dia back at La Mariposa.) (12yr+). Start time 10am unless told otherwise! (meet at 9.45 at La Mariposa)
Our famous guided walks 28th March, 11th, 25th April & 9th May Easy to medium 3hour guided walk Only12 per person, thatâ€™s for the walk, 4 course ''Walkers meal'' and wine, beer and water on the table.
Avda Juan Carlos I, 141 Totana
SPECIAL OFFER! OIL & MULTIPOINT SERVICE! ONLY 49.90 Air Con Regas Available!
Tyre Pressure Check Tyre Condition Check *Labour and IVA included. Special Price includes up to 5 Litres of Oil.
Tel: 968 42 20 15 Fax: 968 42 51 36
We supply other types of oil- ask us for a price. 2016valid while stocks last. Costa CĂĄlidaâ€™s AWARD WINNING free magazine Offer
Please check with the venue before setting out as circumstances may change
What’s going on... What´s On Guide – March 2016 Every Monday Menu del Dia Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron 9 Euro pp Quiz - The Clubhouse, Camposol Club de Golf 8.15pm Mazarron Bay Bridge Club – Hotel Playa Grande, Puerto de Mazarron 9.30am Ladies´ Chatterbox Sew & Sew – Cultural Centre Camposol 2.30pm Entertainment Quiz – Tels Bar Camposol A 8.30pm Fish & Chip Night – The Black Bull, Camposol B Every Tuesday Steak Night, The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf 15€pp (5 extra for fillet) General Knowledge Quiz – Tels Bar Sector A 8.30pm Every Wednesday Steak Night – La Vida, El Pareton Fish and Chip Night – Trevi Bar, Camposol B 5-7pm Quiz Night With Sue – Trevi Bar, Camposol B, 8.30pm Quiz Night with Eddie B – Cat´s Bar, Camposol A Menu Del Noche- Black Bull Camposol B, 10€ Every Thursday Fat Club 11-12pm – Cat´s Bar Camposol Sector A Jam Night & 3 Course Menu De La Noche 12.50pp – The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Darts League – Alley Palais , Camposol B Darts and Dominoes Night – Trevi Bar. Karaoke with Bernie Mac – Cat´s Bar Camposol Sector A 9pm The Clubhouse Camposol- Thursday Night Menu Del Noche 15€ pp Every Friday Miles-Umba Dance Fitness with Mark & Shannon - Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron 10am Miles A Weigh Slimming Club * Based on Slimming World, Bar Med, Puerto de Mazarron 11am Bridge Club – Trevi Bar Camposol B 9.30am Menu Del Dia & Fish & Chips – Bar Med , El Alamillo Puerto de Maz-
Saturday 12th March
Fish & Chips , Blackbull Camposol B, Cat´s Bar, Camposol A, Bar Med El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron, The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf
Bar Med, El Puerto de Mazarron Dine & Dance with David John as Rod Stewart. 4 Course Menu De Noche 12.50 pp or A La Carte
Karaoke with Bernie Mac – Tel´s Bar , Camposol Sector A
The Clubhouse, Camposol Club de Golf Andy Jones & 3 Course Menu De La Noche Euro pp
Stevie T´s Costa Calida Radio Morning Quiz “On The Road” – Bar Med, El Alamillo Puerto de Mazarron Find the Joker- Black Bull Camposol from 6pm Every Saturday Menu del Dia - Bar Med, , El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron 9 Euro pp Dine & Dance Music Nights – Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron (See Gig Guide) Live Music & 4 Course Menu De La Noche at The Clubhouse, Camposol Club de Golf 20€pp Live Music, Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Every Sunday Lunchtime Carvery, The Clubhouse, Camposol Club de Golf & Hotel La Mariposa, Gebas Traditional Sunday Lunches – Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarrón, The Black Bull, Cat´s Bar, Tel´s Bar, Liz´s Café, Steak Out Camposol Fun Quiz – Cat´s Bar Camposol A 9pm Bernie Mac´s Karaoke, The Clubhouse Camposol Golf 8.30pm Gig Guide Saturday 5th March Bar Med El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Dine & Dance With” The Streeters” 4 Course Menu De La Noche 12.50 pp or A La Carte. The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Andy Jones & 3 Course Menu De Noche Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Live Music Sunday 6th March Bar Med El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Mother´s Day Special Traditional Sunday Lunch with Music from Michelle & Friends Black Bull Camposol B Mothers Day Lunch. 3 courses 10€ Booking Essential Wednesday 9th March Bar Med El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron “ Ladies Wot Lunch” 1pm 3 Course Menu del Dia with Stalls inc Jackie Bling Bags!
Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Live Music Thursday 17th March St Patrick´s Day Bar Med, Puerto de Mazarron St Patrick´s Day Celebration Dinner. Irish Theme Dinner, Guinness Promotion & Irish Singer Mick Boyd Black Bull Camposol St Patricks Day Bash from 3pm- Irish Stew and Karaoke with Lisa B Saturday 19th March Bar Med, Puerto de Mazarron He´s Back by Popular Demand Afternoon Soul with Richie Alexander! 2pm – 4.30pm Bar Med El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Evening Dine & Dance with Karen & Michelle “Abba Dabba Doo”4 Course Menu De La Noche 12.50 pp or A La Carte Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Live Entertainment The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Pitu & 3 Course Menu de Noche 23rd March The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Thai Night, 3 Courses 15.00€ per person Saturday 26th March Easter Saturday Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Easter Double Bill - Afternoon With Byron G Man Sax & Evening With The Geckos. Dine & Dance Menu del dia/noche or A La Carte The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Retro Duo & 3 Course Menu de la Noche Restaurante La Proa Live Entertainment Sunday 27th Easter Sunday Easter Sunday Lunch - Black Bull, Camposol B, 3 courses only 10€- Booking essential Wednesday 30th March The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf 30th March Lobster Night 3 Courses 30.00€ pp Saturday 2nd April Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Dine & Dance With Woody! 4 Course Menu de la Noche 12.50pp or A La Carte The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Dee & 3 Course Menu De La Noche Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Live Music
Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine
Camposol ‘B CLEAN’ Gardening Group
February Newsletter AS we are now well into the new year the usual annual task of pruning the Palm trees along the dual carriageway is in progress. Each year the trees get a bit taller whilst most of us in the working party seem to get a bit shorter! Unfortunately, though perhaps unsurprisingly, the cooperation from the Council last year ended after the elections, so many of the tasks we were hoping they would continue to be responsible for have fallen back to us. Another bit of ‘Officialdom’ that has cropped up is that in order to be able to purchase and use weed spray, it is now necessary for us to attend an official course and hold the appropriate Certificate. As there is currently a long waiting list to attend the course the weeds might need chopping down before anyone can become legally qualified to spray them!
We are sorry to have to announce that Sandy, our treasured Treasurer, has had to retire from the role. Since our formation it has been our privilege to have had the benefit of her knowledge of Camposol and its many organizations, many of which she is involved. She has been a stalwart key member of our group and we owe her many thanks for her hard work and for the guidance she has given over the years. We now have Colin Barton to thank for agreeing to take on the role of Treasurer We are also sad to have lost some of our working party members who have returned to the UK. This increases our continuing need for willing volunteers! The numbers coming forward to give help with the planting, weeding, litter clearing, watering, etc. are few. So, please contact us if you can offer some assistance. We meet every Tuesday morning for a couple of hours and each extra pair of hands makes a great difference.
Thanks to all those who stop and contribute to our bucket collections while we are out working. Whilst our weekly count never seems to compare to the sums collected by the other sector gardening groups, we are often amazed by the generous contributions some of our residents and a few local traders make. Some people may not be aware If the Bin is full take your green waste to of our ‘B Clean’ Community Group the Eco Park. Scheme which currently has about 75 Please do not offload your waste onto members who subscribe regularly to a the tarmac and expect others to clear up fund which pays for the ongoing costs of our sectors upkeep. Without these funds ‘B Clean’ would not be able to function. We hope more will join the scheme and subscribe just 5 euros a month Your first port of call when undertaking any aspect of to help us keep home improvements. Camposol looking We are specialists in all types of general building workgreat. If you are From major construction projects to fitted bathrooms, willing to add your kitchens and conservatories, give us a call for a free, no name to the growing obligation quote. list of members, All our team are fully qualified professionals with over 20 years construction experience in Spain. We understand that spending money improving your home is an important decision. Thats why we pride ourselves on being honest, reliable, and getting the job done right, first time, at a fair price. For more details visit our website: www.cmconstructions.es Or come and visit our office on A Sector, next to the ferriteria. Or call us: Mark: 659 159 948 - Colin: 676 306 718 CM CONSTRUCTIONS
please contact Colin or Helen for details (See below.) The more subscribers we have - the better Camposol will look. Come to our monthly meetings held on the last Tuesday of each month at Trevi’s 4 till 5 p.m. and tell us what improvements you would like to see happen on or near your poligono. Information: COLIN (Treasurer): 727 770 944 email BartonCC@aol.com HELEN (Secretary) : 968199506 email email@example.com
Camposol ‘C’ Green Fingers Gardening and Social Group Our Maintenance team this month have continued their rota of weeding, spraying, cleaning and watering as part of the programme covering C sector North. They also cleared a huge amount of silt and mud washed onto the roads by the sudden Spring storms.
You might have seen on local social media that there has been much ado about the Green Waste Bins over the past few months, especially that which is located on the lower commercial centre car park. The message is simple:
"The Name You Can Trust"
Green fingers verge
The Volunteers have been weeding and watering all the plants and planters, laying another 15 tonnes of gravel above the top roundabout on the dual carriageway and trimming all the palms along the dual carriageway – all strenuous tasks, so if you are nearby when our thirsty group are working in your road, and would like to offer them a drink, that would be really welcome! We’d like to appeal to anyone who would like to join our slowly growing band of Wednesday morning volunteers, either on a regular or occasional basis – always rewarded with a free breakfast! ALL ELECTRICAL WORK UNDERTAKEN SURGE PROTECTION AND CARD METERS FOR RENTAL PROPERTIES NO CALL OUT CHARGE ON CAMPOSOL FREE ADVICE AND QUOTATIONS LEGAL & REGISTERED
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Please contact us if you can spare a bit of time and energy, or just turn up at 9am at the Welcome Wall and help improve our area while enjoying a bit of fresh air (very fresh at the moment!) and making new friends in the process! ‘C’ is looking better each year because of all this hard labour, but also because of the donations you generously give, either regularly to our scheme or just in the buckets; a huge thank you. On a sadder note, we have had yet another two ornaments stolen, a pair of handsome gnomes which were donated by a resident and had been left behind the post boxes opposite the Welcome Wall…Please everyone, keep eyes and ears open for these, and the lowlife thieves. Please check chalkboards, Facebook and website for any more news http://www. greenfingersgardenandsocialgroup.com/
and instructive, and as such contributes to the most serious contemplation, experience, health and longevity. - John Evelyn, 1666 A garden really lives only insofar as it is an expression of faith, the embodiment of a hope and a song of praise. - Russell Page, The Education of a Gardener, 1962 Bad Gardens copy, good gardens create, great gardens transcend. What all great gardens have in common are their ability to pull the sensitive viewer out of him or herself and into the garden, so completely that the separate selfsense disappears entirely, and at least for a brief moment one is ushered into a nondual and timeless awareness. A great garden, in other words, is mystical no matter what its actual content. - Ken Wilbur, Grace and Grit, 1991, p. 109.
Quotes by Gardeners Let no one think that real gardening is a bucolic and meditative occupation. It is an insatiable passion, like everything else to which a man gives his heart. - Karel Capek I have found, through years of practice, that people garden in order to make something grow; to interact with nature; to share, to find sanctuary, to heal, to honor the earth, to leave a mark. Through gardening, we feel whole as we make our personal work of art upon our land. - Julie Moir Messervy, The Inward Garden, 1995, p.19 Gardening is ultimately a folly whose goal is to provide delight. - Deborah Needleman The home gardener is part scientist, part artist, part philosopher, part plowman. He modifies the climate around his home. - John R. Whiting Gardening is an exercise in optimism. Sometimes,it is a triumph of hope over experience. - Marina Schinz Gardening is the art that uses flowers and plants as paint, and the soil and sky as canvas. - Elizabeth Murray Gardening is a labour full of tranquility and satisfaction; natural
Show me your garden and I shall tell you what you are. - Alfred Austin Gardening is any way that humans and nature come together with the intent of creating beauty. - Tina James, 1999 Garden: One of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charityminded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals. - Henry Beard and Roy McKie, Gardener’s Dictionary It is always exciting to open the door and go out into the garden for the first time on any day. - Marion Cran Gardening is medicine that does not need a prescription ... And with no limit on dosage. - Author unknown Gardening gives one back a sense of proportion about everything - except itself. - May Sarton, Plant Dreaming Deep, 1968
What, if anything, do the infinity of different traditional and individual ideas of a garden have in common? They vary so much in purpose, in size, in style and content that not even flowers, or even plants at all, can be said to be essential. In the last analysis there is only one common factor between all gardens, and this is the control of nature by man. Control, that is, for aesthetic reasons. .... The essence is control. Without constant watchful care a garden - any garden rapidly returns to the state of the country all around it. - Hugh Johnson, The Principles of Gardening, 1979, p. 8. I don’t think we’ll ever know all there is to know about gardening, and I’m just as glad there will always be some magic about it! - Barbara Damrosch A garden always gives back more than it receives. - Mara Beamish The most noteworthy thing about gardeners is that they are always optimistic, always enterprising, and never satisfied. They always look forward to doing something better than they have ever done before. - Vita Sackville-West, 1892 - 1962
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At the initial meeting, the bereaved will be asked to talk about his or her loss and about his or her relationship with the deceased and about their subsequent life changes since their loss. Crying and yelling are natural byproducts of grief and any subsequent anger, and will not offend the therapist. However, anger or threatening behaviour directed toward the therapist will never be tolerated. Allowing the individual the opportunity for emotional release in a safe, secure and private environment is often the most appealing aspect of therapy. Please remember, don´t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don´t tell yourself how to feel either.Your grief is your own and no one but you knows when it is time to “move on” or “get over it”. Dr. Jane Thompson. PhD, PsyD. Msc.
Coping with Grief
At this stage it is time to seek professional help for the management of your grief. Grief is an emotion usually attributed to If you are experiencing feelings such the loss of a loved one. as mistrust for others since your loss, However, grief is also a normal reaction self blame and/or guilt, numbness and when you experience the loss of disconnection from others, suicidal anything dear to you. For example, you thoughts or you are unable to perform could suffer grief on retiring from a normal daily activities, you really should fullﬁlling career, or losing your home or consider professional grief therapy to a particular role in you life. help you cope. Grief itself is a normal and natural The single most important factor in response to loss. It is important to healing from loss is the support of acknowledge and allow grief to take others. Wherever support is offered, it´s course because it is a vital part of accept it and do not grieve alone. Turn the healing process. There are no right to family or friends. If you follow a or wrong ways to deal with grief. Each religion, draw strength, support and person has very different experiences of comfort from your faith. grief and it can impact your whole life Talk to a therapist. An experienced for a while. It can affect your thoughts, feelings and physical day to day activities. professional can help you to work through intense, seemingly It can indeed be all encompassing and unmanageable, emotions and overcome feel never ending. obstacles to the natural grieving process. There is no ﬁxed time limit and it Therapy, unfortunately, still carries a is normal, and necessary, to feel sad, certain stigma, unless, of course, you are confused or angry following a loss. in the USA where it is cool, trendy and As time passes and you learn to accept almost compulsory to have your own the loss and move on with your life, therapist with whom you have regular the emotions associated with grief sessions. should become less intense and more Therapy should not be seen as a manageable. weakness but as a sign of having been If you don´t start to feel an too strong for too long. Seeking therapy improvement over time, it may be a is indeed a sign of the strength and sign that your grief has manifested into courage required to acknowledge the a much more serious problem such need to seek professional help. as “Complicated Grief” or “Major Grief counselling involves supporting Depression” individuals who have experienced loss and need help, support English Speaking and guidance with Dentist working through DENTAL CLINIC Revolutionary their grief and to help them develop 3 Phase Dental Cleaning! coping techniques Phase 1: Plaque removal for when they are Phase 2: Complete dental surface polish alone. Therapy is Phase 3: Removal of stains caused by recommended for anyone whose loss Tobacco, Coﬀee, Red Wine, etc. seems overwhelming URB. CAMPOSOL-SECTOR A and is adversely affecting their life.
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Colour therapy At the end of last months article I mentioned the beauty of colour therapy. How certain colours can enhance and change our moods. I can state this but you need to try it for yourself. Try wearing Red and see if you feel enpowered, feel confident or feel the passion! Maybe we feel creative in Orange or Fertile in Green. These colours are also linked to our Chakra Centers .. And I wanted to explain a Little about the Chakras and there functions and again colours in relation to each Chakra to make my Colour Therapy Theory a Little stronger . Within the body exist a series of minor and major energy centers called chakras. The word chakra is Sanskrit for “wheel” or “disk.” Each of the seven major chakras has its own distinct character and relates to a unique aspect of our being. The chakras correlate to levels of consciousness, body functions, colors, elements, sounds and much more. The blockage or energetic dysfunction in the chakras is believed to give rise to physiological, psychological, emotional and spiritual disorders. Anatomically, the seven major chakras are located either along, or just in front of, the spine following a central energy line called the Sushumna. Associated with the chakras is a latent subtle energy called kundalini. At the base of the spine lies the first chakra, called the Muladhara. Within the first chakra, latent consciousness-energy called the kundalini-shakti exists. The Kundalini-shakti can be aroused and directed up the Sushumna. This energy can ascend through each chakra until it reaches the seventh or crown chakra, called the Sahasrara. Within the crown chakra, the kundalini shakti unites with Paramashiva, the Supreme Shiva, bringing
Health &Wellbeing one to a state of oneness with the Absolute. This month we will look at the first three Chakras Muladhara, Svadhishthana and Manipura. Looking at their connection to Bodily Functions and much more. The remaining four we will include next month, this is something to get us started with.
obsession, power, money, control, lack of creativity, morality Balanced Chakra: feeling compassionate, friendly, intuitive, vital, sexual, satisfied, prosperous, having a sense of belonging and humor
Mantra: RAM Location: situated at the level of the umbilicus corresponding to the gastric or solar plexus Deals With: sense of belonging, mental understanding of emotions, defines self-esteem, personal power, stamina, thought, will, success, ego Physical Dysfunctions: diabetes, pancreatitis, adrenal imbalances, arthritis, colon diseases, stomach ulcers, intestinal tumors, anorexia/bulimia, low blood pressure Psychological and Emotional Issues: lack of self-esteem, timid, depression, issues with self image and fear of rejection, inability to make decisions, judgmental, perfectionism, anger, rage, hostility Balanced Chakra: energetic, confident, intelligent, decisive, productive, good digestion, mental focus
Svadhishthana (sva = vital; adishthana = seat) Element: water Colors: orange Sense: taste Mantra:VAM Location: situated at the base of the pubis between the genitals and the sacral nerve plexus Deals With: emotional identity, creativity, desire, pleasure and self-gratification, procreation, and personal relationships Physical Dysfunctions: lower back pain, sciatica, decreased libido, pelvic pain, urinary problems, poor digestion, low resistance to infection and viruses, tiredness, hormonal imbalances, menstrual problems Psychological and Emotional Issues: irritability, shyness, guilt, blame, sexual
Make a start with your own therapy and start wearing colours that represent the Chakra that you were drawn to in
Manipura (mani = brilliant as a gem) Element: fire
Muladhara (Mula = root adhara = support) Element: earth Colors: red
Mantra: LAM Location: base of the spine between anus and genitals Deals With: physical identity, survival, stability, instinctual nature, ambition, and self-sufficiency Physical Dysfunctions: tiredness, poor sleep, lower back pain, sciatica, waste elimination problems like constipation, depression, immune related disorders, obesity and eating disorders Psychological and Emotional Issues: ungrounded, afraid, rage and anger, self esteem, survival, security, obsessed with comfort, alienated, possessive Balanced Chakra: feeling grounded, centered, committed and independent, having energy and vitality, strength and stillness, able to digest foods well
particular Chakra ?
As you can see each color is linked to a Chakra point and these areas can be out of balance or blocked. We can use Essential oils Aromatherapy, Sound Therapy Chanting,Yoga or Reiki Therapy to bring harmony to these areas but we can also bring in Colour Therapy as a good place to start.
the chart. The Chakra which reflects areas that you may feel are blocked, areas where you feel the energy can no longer flow. Maybe you can relate to more than one, that’s fine experiment with the colours. Although always check in the mirror before we step outside ! email@example.com (0034) 626 960 354
Check in with the Chakra Chart above for the first three chakras. Can you relate to any of the Physical Disfunctions or any of the Psychological or Emotional Issue mentioned for a
Natàlia García Acosta Podóloga - No Col.122
Telf: 968 103 008
Camposol Business Center C/Madrid, s/n - 30879 MAZARRÓN
Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine
Camposol Golf course is ever improving thanks to the hard work of the owners and their staff. A new trophy was presented to the society by Howard Lee in memory of Dave Robinson who passed away recently. The trophy will be played for in November at Aguilon. On Saturday 6th February the Society held its Presentation Evening at the Costa Hotel, in Mazarron. It is the first time the society has held this type of evening and what a success it turned out to be. The Costa Hotel as always laid on a wonderful meal, and with plenty to drink the evening soon got under way.
Straight Down the Middle Golf Society A Lot Has Happened….. Since our last report a great deal has been happening within the Society. On 20th January the members gathered at Camposol Club de Golf for the monthly stapleford completion to play for the Memorial Cup. The day started off cloudy and cold, so jumpers and jackets were the order of the day. It did however brighten up towards the end of the round, and particularly for Melvyn Appleby, who returned a great score of 42 points, to win the trophy. Melvyn is pictured here receiving the cup from Joe Chalk at the awards dinner. There was only one nearest the pin winner and that was Jim Booth. The handicap secretary will again weald his pen with relish as several members scored 30 points or more. The Pairs competition was also played for, and Melvyn and Joe were the winners with a total score of 72 points.
A special presentation was made to Joe Chalk as he has decided to vacate the Secretaries post and let someone else take on that mantle.
The music was provided by the effervescent, Woody, who despite having suffered recently from illness, had everyone twisting and jiving into the early hours. The meal over, the raffle was held with plenty of goodies to go around. The presentations followed starting with the individual monthly awards and the winners pictured. (left) The next presentation was to the overall points winner Ian Dalley (on the right) seen here collecting his trophy from the Press secretary. Norrie Bull was presented with the runner-up trophy Clive Hathaway (pictured below right) being presented with the Strong Man trophy
Our thanks go to him and his wife Sylvie for all the hours of work put in to keep the society wheels oiled. On Tuesday 9th February the AGM of the society was held at the clubhouse at Camposol Golf. With the exception of the Secretaries post all officers were returned unopposed. Pete Smithson was voted in to take over that position, and we all wish him the best for the future. The Society meeting for March has yet to be decided, and members will be informed asap. New members are always welcome. Geoff Sharp firstname.lastname@example.org
Los Amigos De Mazarrón F.C
LOS AMIGOS DE MAZARRON FC LATEST NEWS Mazarron’s season stumbled slightly in February with a 2-0 defeat away to local rivals Olimpico de Totana and a 1-1 home draw against CD Algar. This left Mazarron in fifth place in the league but losing ground on the teams immediately
Steve Foster was presented with the Meerkat Trophy Goal celebration against CD Algar
Sunday 27th March No game Easter Sunday 3rd April CF Molina (Away)
Man of the match, Willy
Injuries and suspensions to key players did little to help the cause and central defender Lorca left the club for disciplinary reasons. With games coming up against teams in the lower half of the league it is vital that Mazarron keep free from injuries and suspensions if they are to continue their push for a second automatic promotion. On the bright side the form of strikers Jose, Willy and Palote has contributed to Mazarron being the third highest scorers in the league and captain Juan Andreo continues to be a steadying influence at the back with a number of Man of the Match performances. Mazarron’s home games are normally played on Sundays with varying kick off times. The ex-pat supporters Club, Los Amigos de Mazarron FC also organise a supporters’ coach to most away games, something unique in this area where away support is almost non-existent. Coach tickets for away games are 8€ for Los Amigos de Mazarron FC members and 10€ for non members. Full details of all games, date and kick off times and coach departure times both home and away, are normally not announced until the Wednesday before the weekend on which the game is to be played and advertised in the local media, on www.mazarronfc.es, on our own Los Amigos de Mazarron FC Facebook page, and on posters at various points throughout Camposol and Mazarron. If you have not been to a game before why not pop along to the Estadio Municipal in Mazarron for one of the home games. Admission is only €4 with juveniles free and you can call into the Supporters’ Lounge for a hot drink or beer before the game and at half time. Hot pies and pasties are also available in the lounge at half time if pre-ordered at the Los Amigos meetings. Forthcoming league fixtures are:Sunday 6th March CARTAGENA FC (HOME) Sunday 13th March Jumilla CD (Away) Sunday 20th March SFC MINERVA (HOME)
For the away game at Jumilla on Sunday 13th March it is proposed that the supporters coach leaves much earlier in order that we may have a meal and a few drinks in Jumilla before the game. Advance booking is essential so please email email@example.com if you would like to join us. Following their successful pre-season barbeque Vice President Alan Lyle and his wife Sue are hosting an end of season Quiz Night and Barbeque on 10th June with proceeds going to Los Amigos. Tickets are €8 and are very limited so please email Barbara on pamada.1130@ yahoo.co.uk as soon as possible. The February monthly Luncheon Club outing was to the Restaurante Lo Pagan in Librilla when around 50 members and friends enjoyed the usual
January luncheon club
excellent meal washed down with copious amounts of alcohol. The March luncheon club meeting is on Tuesday 22nd March - please email Maggie on firstname.lastname@example.org for full details and availability. Plans are now finalised for the 7th Annual Los Amigos de Mazarron FC Gala Evening and Dinner at the Hotel la Cumbre, Puerto de Mazarron on Wednesday 16th March. The guest speaker is former Burnley, Wolves and Huddersfield Town star, Steve Kindon and he will be aided and abetted on a night of comedy and mayhem, by comedian Gary Marshall. The entertainment for the evening will be rounded off with music and dancing with the Geckos.
Queens Park Rangers and England International Tony Currie will be flying in to attend the dinner along with ex Everton, Manchester United, Stoke City and Bury star, Mark Higgins. It is hoped that West Ham United legend Alvin Martin will also be able to attend as a guest of joint sponsors the Club House, Camposol Club de Golf. Steve Kindon, Gary Marshall and Tony Currie will be taking part in our annual Celebrity Golf Day sponsored by ExPat Pensions at the Camposol Club de Golf the day before the Gala, Tuesday 15th March. If anyone wishes to take part, green fees are €25 and buggies are available by advance booking only at €20 per buggy (€10 pp). Email email@example.com for full details on how to enter. Also as part of the Gala Week Celebrations there is a Race Night at the Trevi Bar, Camposol B on Monday 14th March. The event is kindly sponsored by David S Poole Accountancy Services Ltd and will begin at 7.30 pm. Admission is by ticket only at a cost of €3 (includes Race Card on entry). Bar snacks will be available for purchase at the Trevi Bar on the night. You can also be an owner of a horse for €3 or a jockey for €2 and the winning owners and jockeys in each race will receive a prize. Tickets for the Gala Dinner and the Race Night are on sale at the weekly Los Amigos meetings at the Club House, Camposol Club de Golf each Thursday at 4 pm. You can also ring Barbara on 627012646, Dave on 634369639, Gerard on 624320567 or email firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com. Los Amigos de Mazarron FC weekly meetings are held every Thursday at the Club House, Camposol Club de Golf at 4 pm with the exception of the last Thursday of each month which is reserved for the Members Business Meeting and open to members only. Los Amigos membership runs from 1st August each year and costs just 10€ which includes reduced coach travel and reduced prices to most of our social events including the very successful monthly luncheon club. For a membership form, more information and details of all our activities please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
The event is jointly sponsored by Ibex Insurance and the Club House, Camposol Club de Golf, part of the Mazarron Entertainments group. Ticket prices are 40€ which includes a five course dinner with local beer, wine and soft drinks included during the serving of dinner. but at the time of writing there were only a handful left. Former Sheffield United, Leeds United,
Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine
speed topping out at around 60 mph (96 km/h). With a total kerb weight of just 580 kg (1,278 lb), and an 8.5 kW (11.4 hp) fuel cell to power the motors contained in each of the four wheels, the Rasa also recovers more than 50 percent of the kinetic energy produced under braking and stores this in a bank of supercapacitors which it then uses to boost acceleration. Not quite in the performance league of such promised hydrogen fuel cell vehicles as the Audi h-tron or the Honda Clarity, the exceptionally light weight of the Rasa and its resulting handling characteristics, however, should still make it a fun little car to drive around town.
Welsh-made hydrogen car prototype unveiled for trial A new hydrogen fuel-cell electric vehicle prototype has been launched with a claimed fuel economy equivalent to 250 mpg (0.9 L/100km). Dubbed “Rasa,” the new car has a lightweight carbonfiber monocoque shell, in-wheel electric motors, a bank of supercapacitors charged by braking-regeneration, and a host of other features that enable it to travel up to a claimed 300 miles (483 km) on just a 3.3 lb (1.5 kg) tank of hydrogen. The Rasa’s performance characteristics would make it an ideal town car A roadlegal two-seater hydrogen fuel cell prototype, the Rasa by Riversimple Movement Ltd UK has been ... The Rasa has faired rear wheels for extra aerodynamic performance LED tail lights and a vented hatch are the distinctive features at the rear of the ... A road-legal two-seater engineering prototype, the Rasa by Riversimple Movement Ltd UK has been designed from scratch to meet the company’s brief of lightness, strength, affordability and safety, as well the maximization of fuel economy and minimization of pollution. Given that the pollution emitted by the Rasa is just 40 gCO2/km “well-to-wheel”, even if the hydrogen is sourced from natural gas, and that water is the only substance to come out of the tailpipe, the company is claiming the lowest carbon emissions for any vehicle thus far produced. Being built for full European type approval, the development of the Rasa was supported by a £2 million grant from the Welsh government. Beginning this year, using matched funding from a €2 million European Union endowment, the company will be running a public 12-month trial of a fleet of 20 Rasa prototypes. It is expected that the outcome of this ongoing development will result in the launch of a full production model to market sometime in 2018. “The Rasa engineering prototype marks another key milestone in bringing an affordable and highly-
efficient hydrogen powered car to market,” said Hugo Spowers, Founder of Riversimple Movement Ltd. “We really have started from a clean sheet of paper.” With headquarters in Llandrindod Wells in Wales, and a design studio in Barcelona, Spain, Riversimple was born of the SWARM (Small 4-Wheel fuel cell passenger vehicle Applications in Regional and Municipal transport) consortium project that aims to build on and expand existing hydrogen refueling infrastructure across Europe, and collaborates to produce vehicles specifically designed to use these hydrogen stations. Taking the shape of a relatively lowslung two-seat hatchback, the Rasa has an interesting exterior design, with faired rear wheels, a cluster of projection headlamps up front, a vented hatch at the rear, and upward-swinging gull-wing doors. The interior appears to be a rather uncluttered affair, and provides a podstyle instrument binnacle, a simple dash layout, and a minimalist, but attractive finish. On the performance side, the company says that the car will be “light to handle, responsive, and fun to drive” with acceleration to 55 mph (89 km/h) in around nine seconds and a maximum
Styled by Chris Reitz (a relative of Wolfgang Porsche and former design director at Alfa Romeo), the company claims that the Rasa has been designed and built with input from a highly-skilled in-house team whose experience ranges from Formula 1 to aerospace engineering. All going well, when the vehicle is finally offered for sale at some stage in 2018, the company intends to offer the Rasa through a “sale of service” scheme where, for a fixed monthly fee and distance allowance, the company will provide all repair, maintenance, insurance, and fuel costs. As a result, drivers will not own the car, but simply swap it for a new one or return it at the end of the use period. This approach, claims the company, will help reduce the financial burden of outright vehicle ownership for the average driver. “The Rasa gives us the opportunity to introduce customers to a more convenient concept of motoring, a lightness of ownership that neither places a burden on the pockets of motorists or the surrounding environment,” says Spowers. “The car is simple, light and fun in every respect.” The video below shows the “Alpha” road test of the vehicle, prior to its exterior panels being fitted.
#11 Citroën 2CV Citroen 2CV - For Your Eyes Only Model: 2CV (1981) Bond Movie: Only (1981)
Even still, some segments of the scene were very obviously sped up, most noticeably during a backwards-forward stunt that the 2CV struggled to pull off. However, the scene was intended to be as humorous as it was tense.
For Your Eyes
Synopsis: After his Lotus self-destructs, Bond is forced to escape in Melina Havelock’s car. To his despair, she drives a Citroën 2CV, not quite the calibre of car Bond is used to. The fire of machine guns behind him soon ends his hesitation, and the amusing chase scene begins. After Melina manages to topple the car upside down, some local villagers help to get it back on its wheels, and Bond takes over the driving. The Citroën had to be fitted with a bigger engine to make it suitable for a tense chase scene.
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Property, Financial and Legal and we are looking forward to seeing them and meeting new ones during the course of the tournament.” Magna Wealth Management Ltd, trading as Expat Pensions, was established
in 2007 to bring peace of mind to UK expats living abroad and is now directly authorised by the Financial Conduct Authority in the UK. EXPAT PENSIONS TO SPONSOR LOS Angela has over 30 years’ AMIGOS CELEBRITY GOLF experience in the financial TOURNAMENT AGAIN IN services industry, specialising MAZARRON in recent years in products and One of the Costas’ most services that are of particular respected financial advisory help to those living and working firms has been announced as abroad. Legal & Financial Services the flagship sponsor of the Expat Pensions works with Celebrity Golf Tournament introducers and businesses like which is part of Los Amigos The ONLY qualified and experienced UK Shirley Fisher Legal & Financial de Mazarron FC’s March 2016 Lawyer in this area providing a comprehensive Services throughout Spain but “Gala Week” particularly on the Costas range of services covering English and Spanish Expat Pensions, the trading from Barcelona to Gibraltar. matters including QROPS Pension transfers to style in the EU of the UK-based Shirley and Angela are well Magna Wealth Management unlock your UK private pension known to listeners to Costa Ltd, is well known to many Calida International Radio for in the Mazarron area who their monthly double act where For an initial discussion please telephone have benefitted from the help they discuss legal and financial and advice of Managing 634 053 976 matters from both a Spanish and Director Angela South. or email:email@example.com a UK perspective. Angela is a familiar figure Angela said: “We are really Camposol Business Centre in the area and has worked looking forward to this year’s Calle Madrid 19, Sector A with Shirley Fisher Legal & Celebrity Golf Tournament and Financial Services, in the offices Camposol, Mazarron Both myself and my colleagues they share at the Camposol MURCIA 30875 from Expat Pensions will be on Business Centre for many years. hand if anyone wishes to chat She said: “Following our about their financial affairs or FOR AN APPOINTMENT successful sponsorship last ask us to look at a particular year, we had no hesitation in Tel: 968 103 008 issue for them”. continuing to support this fun FAX: 968 199 664 “Likewise, my co-director Andy event. We made so many friends
PRESS RELEASE FROM EXPAT PENSIONS
Neptuno Deluxe – 189,995€
Cibeles – 179,500€
CLOSE TO AMENITIES Corner plot position well maintained detached villa with 3 beds, 2 bath, covered sun terrace, large lounge, central heating, gas fire, A/C, internet, telephone, wheelchair friendly ramped access, various patios, mature garden, Jacuzzi, raised garden walls, solarium, off road parking, under build storage. Located on B. Part furnished
Rosa - 123,000€ PERIMETER ROAD Low level entrance into this slightly different 2 bed, 2 bath detached villa with glazed sun lounge, electric central heating, log burner, ceiling fans, modernized kitchen, manicured gardens, plunge pool, off road parking, storage, tiled garden walls, no properties to the front elevation. Located on C. Fully Furnished
EXCELLENT LOCATION Close to all facilities is this immaculate central heated detached villa with3 beds, 3 baths, large lounge, log burner, A/C, ceiling fans, sun terrace, swimming pool, patio, BBQ, huge part converted basement including shower room, kitchen etc, off road parking, solarium, fly screens, quality furnishings throughout. Located on B. Fully furnished.
Antojo – 125,000€ IMMACULATE VILLA Lovely detached 2 beds, 1 bath villa with double glazing throughout, ducted air conditioning, spacious lounge with fireplace, ceiling fans, swimming pool, gazebo, BBQ, outdoor kitchen area, low maintenance garden, garden shed, off road parking, Located on Mazarron CC. Fully furnished.
Skinner is looking forward to taking part in the golf tournament again – a welcome break from the wind and rain storms in the UK!” Anyone requiring information on their investments who would like to make an appointment during the Gala Week on Tuesday, March 15, or Wednesday, March 16, can in the first instance contact Shirley Ann Fisher, UK Lawyer & Commissioner for Oaths at Camposol Business Centre on Sector A – Tel 968 103 008, Mobile 634 053 976 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Expat Pensions is a trading style of Magna Wealth Management Ltd which is authorised by the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) in the UK – one of the very few FCA regulated financial adviser firms operating in Spain. You can find out more at www.expatpensions.info or by calling head office on 0044 1789 490363. For further information, please contact: Angela South, Managing Director, Magna Wealth Management Ltd, 2 Croft Court, Croft Lane, Temple Grafton, Warwickshire, B49 6PW. Tel. 0044 1789 490363 www.expatpensions.info Magna Wealth Management Limited trading as Expat Pensions is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority FCA number 600163. Registered in England and Wales. Registered Office Suite 2, Croft
Court, Croft Lane, Temple Grafton, Warwickshire. B49 6PW. Registered number 07136102. Magna Wealth Management Limited trading as Expat Pensions has the necessary passports to provide cross border advice within countries of the European Economic Area.
SPANISH INCOME TAX FOR RESIDENTS 2015 Spanish resident tax returns declaring worldwide income received during the 2015 calendar year, will need to be submitted during April, May and June 2016. A Spanish Income Tax return will need to be submitted in your first year of tax residency, regardless of how low your income is. Remember that for tax purposes you are considered as a resident if you stay in Spain for more than 183 days a year. This tax is calculated on your
worldwide income, including pensions from your home country, and interest income from your bank accounts you may have abroad. Note: there are pensions that according to double taxation agreements between both countries, can only be taxed only in your home country and never in the country where you are fiscal resident (such as government pensions paid to retired civil servants, police, British Army personnel, or medical and nursery staff from the NHS), will be taxed in the UK and not in Spain. As a Spanish fiscal resident, you will need to submit an Income Tax Return and pay Spanish income tax, at progressive scale rates, on your worldwide income if: -Traffic matters (vehicle transfers, Spanish plates etc.) -Legal assistance and litigation -Spanish wills and inheritance -NIE, Residencia, Nationality -Insurances -Property conveyancing -Translations -Fin De Obra Certificates
We have the personnel that can assist you in English, Scandinavian & Spanish Plaza San José Nº2, Puerto de Mazarron
Phone: 968 154 045 or 619 173 626
ng o lo ls t ts t & ta ge or ren ud sh m ll b r te it a su
Why stay in expensive hotels or fixed package accommodation when you can enjoy the cost effective and flexible choice of staying in private villas with their own pools, town houses with communal pools or apartments close to the sea and all within a short drive or walk from the wonderful Murcian countryside and beautiful beaches of the Costa Calida.
(0034) 968 970 614 (0034) 608 631 700
Property, Financial and Legal * Your annual income is over: €22,000, however it falls to €12,000 (last year was €11,200) when earned from more than one employer or when the income is not taxed at source, such as pensions received from your home country. * You receive Property Rental Income of over: €1,000 * You have obtained capital gains and savings income over: €1,600 * It is your first year as fiscal resident in Spain. However, remember that you will have to complete and submit a tax return during your first year of tax residency. Also, please bear in mind the following:
* Between €33,007.20 and €53,407.20 40% * Between €53,407.20 and €120,000.20 47% * Between €120,000.20 and €175,000.20 51% * Between €175,000.20 and €300,000.20 54% * More than €300,000.20 55% Income from your savings, different tax rates apply: * For the first 6K Euros: 19.50% * From 6K to 50K Euros: 21.50%
country. 3. Shares, rights, life insurances and incomes deposited, handled or obtained abroad. Tax evaders will incur a penalty of €5K for every asset not declared after the deadline with a minimum penalty of €10,000. In addition, non declared assets might be considered by the Tax Office, as capital gains. This means that tax evaders would have to include it on the 2015 Income Tax Return, and it could be taxed up to 46% tax rate depending on the Province, plus an additional penalty up to 150% over the total taxable amount. This tax declaration does not have to be completed if it was completed last year and you have not acquired additional assets abroad with a value in excess of €20K.
* When selling your property, you will have to provide at the Notary, a fiscal resident certificate issued by the Tax Office. It is very advisable to appoint a fiscal representative who may apply and receive the certificate on your behalf. Submitting a tax return, regardless of whether you are obligated to or not, is the best way whatsoever to prove you are fiscal resident in Spain. If you do not do this before completion, the buyer will have to retain 3% of the sales proceeds on account of your Capital Gains Tax liability.
* From 50K Euros ahead: 23.50%
* Spanish fiscal residents of over 65 years of age are totally exempt for Capital Gains Tax when selling their main dwelling in Spain. But remember you must have lived in that property for 3 years prior to the sale and you will be required to prove it.
* Income on your bank savings or other investments
For more information please feel free to contact Corral&Alcaraz. It is no worth to risk your assets.
Remember that banks will make a 19.50% (19% for this year) tax retention on interest paid, but you will be able to claim some back by submitting a tax return.
At Corral & Alcaraz Law Firm we will always be pleased to assess your personal situation and answer any questions you may have.
Personal allowances for this year are as follows:
ASSETS DECLARATION. YEAR 2016
We wish to make your life easier in Spain.
* Under 65 years old: €5,550 (last year was €5,151) * 65 years and over: €6,700 (last year was €6,069) * 75 years and over €8.100 (last year was €7,191) Tax rate after allowances and deductions, for the Murcia Region are as follows: Tax Rate * Between €0 and €12,450 19.50% * Between €12,450 and €20,200 24.50% * Between €20,200 and €34,000 30.50% * Between €34,000 and €60,000 38.00% * More than €60,000 46.00%
Last year was: * For the first 6K Euros: 21%
Although this applies to Spanish citizens and expats, foreigners are more likely to have offshore assets.
* From 6K to 18K Euros: 25% * From 24K Euros ahead: 27% This will affect mainly: * Your capital gains made on the sale of your properties.
This is the tax form no. 720 and it must to be completed by all tax residents in Spain. All below mentioned assets held as of the 31.12.2015 with a value of more than 50,000 Euros must be submitted on this form with deadline 31st March 2016. 1. Accounts in foreign banks: Balance at 31st December 2015 and average balance in the last quarter.
Tax returns will be only accepted through online submission. Therefore an electronic certificate issued by the Tax Office is required to submit the tax forms.
Camposol Properties POOL CLEANING SERVICES
Various Contracts Available or Just Pay Per Clean
Call Now On: 646 476 911
2. Properties and property rights owned in any other
Last year was: Tax Rate * Between €0 and €17,707.20 24,75% * Between €17,707.20 and €33,007.20 30,00%
S ON .5% LE SSI 2 SA MI LY M ON COOM FR
RESALE • RENTAL • PRESTIGE
Your key to Another World... Ref: 1532 59,950€ Semi detached 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom Fiesta style villa Located on Sector A Camposol, Prime location, with good rental potential, Fully fitted kitchen including white goods, fully furnished- Ideal holiday home!
Ref: 1529 149,950€ A well-presented 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom Neptuno Deluxe style villa, which comes fully furnished and is situated on the final phase of Camposol. This large villa sits on a 600m2 plot with 8 x 4m private pool. Fully Air conditioned, fire, fully fitted kitchen, Off road parking stunning views. Viewing recommended.
Ref: 1515 59,999€ Stunning End terrace 2 bed, 1 bath within walking distance to the Camposol Club de Golf. Set on an elevated plot this home has a large underbuild suitable for conversion, fitted wardrobes, solarium, fully fitted kitchen, rejas private terrace. Must be viewed!
Ref: 1486 84,950€
Ref: 1533 199,000€ Stunning Neptuno Villa on Camposol´s first phase, 3 bed 2baths, Conservatory, high spec kitchen with all the white goods, Air con throughout, 10x5 pool outside dining area, off road parking, sauna, roof solarium needs to be viewed to be fully appreciated.
Ref: 1389 174,950€
Ref: 1399 139,000€
Ref: 1509 75,000€ 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom detached country house sits on a 3300m2 plot. To the front of the house is the garden with outdoor seating area and a good 8x4 swimming pool. The garden is laid to gravel with fruit trees. Set in an idyllic country location, viewing is recommended.
3 Bed, 2 Bath Spacious Detached Villa. En Suite bathroom to master bedroom, Air conditioning, open fire, fully fitted kitchen with all white goods, low maintenance gardens. This property is in excellent order throughout and well worth viewing.
A fully furnished, 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, clasico style terraced villa situated at camposol on the first part of sector close to the commercial sector. Fully fitted kitchen, spacious terrace, solarium, Air conditioning satellite tv. An ideal holiday or permanent home, close to all amenities.
A stunning 3 bed, 3 bath detached Neptuno Style villa on a large plot. Glazed front terrace, large pool, low maintenance garden, Roof top solarium, rejas throughout, Satellite TV, underbuild.
Office: Camposol Sector B, next to Happy Pets Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine
Useful Numbers activities Mariposa 968 631 008 Airconditioning: AC Services: 672 850 963 TJ Electricals: 868 181 121 Bar, restaurants & cafes AP’s 968 978 869 Bar Med: 968 595 864 Cat’s Bar 634 322 729 Club House Bistro 968 978 855 Elliots 968 158 499 La Vida 625 917 425 Mariposa 968 631 008 Quality Indian restaurant Tel 968 199 198 Ratatouille 968 155 887 Piccolo 968 131 515 Spice Villa 968 199 226 The New Royal 968 595 864 Beauty Care & Health Heather mobile 636 657 481 Freedom Mobility 968 153 620 Builders CM Constructions 659 159 948 Car Hire & SERVICES F&C Rental 968 199 156 Car mechanics & car sales Ken Sherwood mechanics 679 646 859 Carpentry Dave Davidson 634 330 706 Camposol Business Centre The Journal, Security, Dentist, Chiropodists, Camposol Health Clinic 968 103 008 Central Heating & Plumbing Calida Gas & Oil 659 761 771 Charities Age Concern 634 310216 Andreas animal rescue 690 906 565 FAST: Non Emergency 634 309 899 PALS 968 422 228 / 626460 465 Lions 696 827 525 Mabs 639 665 370 Making a Difference 634 357 137 Chimney Sweep Tony 646 438 694 Chiropodists Nathalia 968 103 008 Computer design services Daniel White www.danielwhitedesign. com Dentists Camposol Business Centre 968 103 008 Ear Candling Heather mobile 636 657 481 Electricians Andy 617 644 339 SPARXX 642 172 065 Funerals and funeral plans Tony Smith, Funeral director 650 631 719 Fish & Chips Cats Bar: 666 188 353 Elliots Bolnuevo 968 158 499 Trevi Bar: 968 199 939 Hairdressers Carols 968 974 989 Home Furnishings & furniture Furniture Plus 968 153 907/678 083 491 Insurance & Asesoria Nash Warren, Bolnuevo 968 156 583
Liberty Seguros 968 138 516 / 620 277 690 El Pilar 968 425 210
Law services Shirley Ann Fisher 968 103 008 Metalwork Eriks 636 050 008 Mobility, aids & equipment Freedom & mobility 968 153 620 Property services Camposol Properties 968 592 679 Helping Hands Home Care675 865 636 Kevins Fly Screens 650 662 579/616 984 652 Pool cleaning, maintenance & repair Camposol Properties 646 476 911 Kohn Pool Services 968 138 638/626 684 979 Pool Cleaning Mazarron 605 081 954 Tony, the pool diver 646 438 694 Printing & Design Insignia Graphics, 618 615 903 Mister print 638 893 357 SALES AND RENTAL AGENTS 2let2buy2sell 968 979 876 UK 00 44 1223 968 199 Another World 968 592 679 Costa Calida Property Services 968 199 251 Mercers 968 199 188 UK 08450 177 805 Sensol Golf Villa Rentals 968 970 614/608 631 700 VillaQuest 968 974 918 Spanish interpreters and courses Debbies translations & interpreting, 677 353 136 Pilar Garcia 663 74 24 42 Window cleaning services Miles Better: 619 877 103 Water, purification services Waterfiltersspain: 677 353 136 Miles Better Water Filters 619 877 303
Getting in touch with the committees and organisations
CRA Camposol Residents Association. The cabin is located alongside the Cultural Centre on Sector B and is open on Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 11 to 1pm.(Closed on Bank Holidays) The Chairman is Phil Gelling and can be contacted on email@example.com, general or membership enquiries can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org. The duty Committee member can be contacted on 634 364 739. Their website is www.cracamposol.com This number is manned every morning Monday thru Friday 10am / 12noon Sector A gardening Group is Chaired by John Grant.Web address: www.lospalacios-gardeners. com. Contact the Secretary for details of monthly meetings on:email@example.com Friday morning bookstall outside the post room on A. Sector B & B-clean (their gardening group) NB B sector community group is newly formed. Helen White 968 199 506 is the pro tem organisor. Sector C Greenfingers gardening group, Chairman, John Osborne- Tel 634 325 427 email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Camposol Community Group D Sector The group meets monthly on the first Monday at 4PM at The Clubhouse.Chair: Ken D’Angelo Email: email@example.com Vice Chair: Paul Reid Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Treasurer: Anita Girvan Email: email@example.com Membership Secretary: Carol D’Angelo Email:firstname.lastname@example.org A car with tow bar and trailer is now available for sector D residents to take garden waste to the Eco park, contact Alan Muncaster 654 024 474 Age Concern can be found at the Cultural Centre on Wednesdays and Thursdays 10am to 1pm and Fridays 12.30 to 3.30pm. Telephone 634 310216, email email@example.com Camposolers The registered group site for residents of Camposol, the proprietor is Reg Rogers who can be contacted by e-mailing reg firstname.lastname@example.org. Apply to Reg for membership. NB there is an underline dash between reg and rogers!!!!!! Town Hall can now be contacted through an office in the Cultural Centre Sector B, by the roundabout down from the roundabout by the filling station. Tatiana Andres is there to help you between 1600 to 1800 every weekday. Phone 968 131 717, email email@example.com MABS now have an office on the main dual carriage way on Sector B. LIONS, Membership: Lion nigel 651867105 Welfare:Lion Gina 654874563 ANNOUNCEMENTS Welcome book club every second and fourth Tuesday in the underbuild at the former medical centre on Sector B.
In the event of a medical emergency call 112 and then phone F.A.S.T on 968 970 626 (Camposol Only)
HELPING HANDS HOME CARE Gardening, Painting, General DIY, NO JOB TOO BIG OR SMALL Fully Legal Call Karen on 675 865 636
MAD March 2016 Article
As I write this article we are still waiting for our lovely rescue Lucie to become a mummy. When I rescued her she was pregnant with 4/5 puppies and any hour now she should be giving birth! I have been saying that for the past week! This lovely girl already has a home and so have 2 of her puppies, how wonderful is that? She has a big, comfortable cage, ready and waiting but some of our other cheeky little things seem to think it is for them!!
We are busy preparing for our Spring/Summer Fashion Show which will take place at a new venue, The Golf Club Camposol, on Monday 11th April at 3pm. Please come along and support this event, have some fun and buy some good quality summer outfits at very low prices, whilst at the same time helping people in need. All the garments are from donations, so if you have any good quality summer clothing, shoes, handbags, jewellery etc. you could donate, please bring them to our Mazarr贸n shop, Port shop or to one of our drop-off points. Our van is at the Mazarr贸n Country Club the second and last Monday of each month from 11.00 till 1.00, at the car park on the Camposol Sector A Commercial Centre every Tuesday from 11.00 till 1.00 and on the second and last Friday of each month it is at the table top market at Camposol Sector B. For collection of larger items, or to confirm where the van will be, please call Badr on 603 389 006.
It has been a busy month and with the help of all our supporters and sharers on FB I have managed to rehome a number of dogs Lucie, Row, Maisie, Jackson, Henry, Basil, you are all lucky dogs. It has been a pleasure knowing you and I always look forward to the photographs to see how they are settling in. Before any dog is rehomed we always do a home check and it is an essential part of the rehoming process. We have to make sure that the dog is placed in a suitable home that will provide a stress free, comfortable and safe environment. Not only is this a time to ensure the placement is suitable for the dog it is also an opportunity for you to ask any questions.
We are always in need of the following items which we distribute to our clients, both on aid days and in cases of emergency.
Some great news for one of our donkeys!! Our gorgeous Ana is going to be a companion with another donkey who lost her soul mate and is so very sad. Ana will make a fantastic new friend. Donkeys do not like being alone they love having friends, even if it is a sheep, pig or dog!! This helps us so much we are so desperate for space, just homing one will make a huge difference. Thank you to the Donkey Sanctuary in Malaga for thinking of us.
Shampoo Shower gel Soap Toothpaste Toothbrushes Deodorant Clothes washing detergent Razors Sanitary towels Nappies Baby wipes
FOOD Milk Cooking oil Sugar Flour Pasta Rice Lentils Biscuits Dehydrated vegetable soup Tinned tuna Tinned vegetables Tinned fruit Cheese triangles Powdered baby milk Colacao HYGIENE PRODUCTS
These items can be dropped off at our collection bins. These are at the English Butchers on sector A, Quick Save on Sector B, Furniture Plus in the Port and various other places too. Please call 634 357 137 for details or email us at madmazarron@live. com We thank you for your continued support. We are always amazed and grateful for the generosity shown by you in helping us achieve our aim to help the less fortunate in our area. Together we can and do make a difference in Mazarr贸n.
Latest news Lucie has started producing and at the moment we are up to 8!! Scan told us 4 possibly 5 so this is a bit of a shock. All going well and will bring you up to date next month. Nurse Andrea is required in the nursery so I will have to sign off for now. As usual I will be on Camposol, Car Park B, every Monday morning 1130-130 to collect any of your unwanted clothes, bric a brac or furniture. Otherwise you can drop items into our shops either in Mazarron Town opposite the Health Centre or Roldan. Andrea x
Tickets & information from: Camposol Cultural Centre Wed/Thu 10am to 1pm, Friday 12.30 to 2pm Telephone: 634 310 215 Other areas: 634 336 484
firstname.lastname@example.org If you have a favourite joke that is suitable for a family magazine and not too long why not send it to
We will publish it and give you a credit
“Cos it’s strange, isn’t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh’ and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in. “He said ‘I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. ‘ I thought ‘That’s a turn-up for the books.” I went to Millets and said ‘I want to buy a tent.’ He said ‘To camp?’, I said (butchly) ‘Sorry, I want to buy a tent. ‘ I said ‘I also want to buy a caravan.’ He said ‘Camper? ‘ I said (campily) ‘Make your mind up.’ Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. A man walks into doctor’s office. “What seems to be the problem?” asks the doc. “It’s ... um ... well ... I have five penises.” replies the man. “Blimey!” says the doctor,
Last month’s Suduko answers
“How do your trousers fit?” “Like a glove.”
The barman says “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
I went to a really energetic “Seafood Disco” last week .... and pulled a mussel. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t, I had to amputate your arms” My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, “No, you’re right the steaks are too high.” Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bullshit before Answer phone message “.... If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key....” Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” said Dolly. “It’s true, straight up, no bull!” A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.” A dyslexic man walks into a bra. A sandwich walks into a bar.
Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted. PUFFING BILLIES “Can I have a puff of your fag Love?” This electric thing won’t light?? She said! “You’ll just start coughing again, And keep me up all night” “Come on love!”… You are worse than me, Your asthma’s really bad!” Yes..... But! With my steroids, I’ll inhale then have a fag” She left a fag in the ash tray So he took a few big drags He started coughing and choking As she yelled! You been at my fags? She lit up one of her Woodbines As he sulked off to the loo But she had so many stashed away, That he went and pinched a few Wheezing like a squeeze box She said… “I’m going to bed!” But his puffing, started him coughing “Have you pinched some again?” She said! “No!!... It’s my Emphysema dear” As his coughing eased at last You’d better sleep on the sofa tonight And don’t forget your oxygen mask! With a Woodbine stuck to her bottom lip She came down for a light She threw him a pack of his old Player’s weights Then they drank and smoked all night. Of course, they quickly left this world And together! Laid to rest. Here lie the puffing Billies Who thought that they knew best? Christine Laword
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Magazine March 2016