10 February Issue
Lifestyle
House Party Heaven and Hell There’s nothing better than a house party; on a freezing cold Sunday morning when half the uni are partaking in their regular walk of shame ritual, there will be a house party in it’s dying ends going on somewhere. Whether it be in a huge open plan house with a real PA system, a good DJ and a lot of drinks; or a tiny room, with an iPod and a set of speakers so full of people you make friends with someone’s armpit. Either way, it will be happening, meaning that there will be individuals passing out in any space available in whatever bizarre outfit they went for, strangers getting up close and personal with other strangers and some poor victim trying to avoid the random creeper that’s latched onto them. So we at The Bucks Student wanted to hear your stories. And when we asked, boy did you respond! So here’s two pages of unadulterated party pornography. Warning: Not for the faint-of-heart.
Heaven:
Hell:
“We had a party at ours with live artists who we had met at various festivals around the country during the summer. It was pretty epic and everyone seemed to have a good time!” Tom James Badger
“We had a house party just before Christmas. It was pretty sick. And I mean literally. Some guy chundered up his pasta in the living room, another stood outside emptying the contents of his stomach onto our drive, and then when I went to go to bed, there was some guy naked in there. When I woke him up, he puked everywhere. It was so gross. Never again.” Lucy Rebecca Ellis
“At my mates 19th he fell asleep. He has a stretcher in his ear, so we grabbed his bike lock and chained him to the radiator. When he woke up, he couldnt move and when he needed to pee we gave him a flask.” Jamie Salmen
WE GRABBED HIS BIKE LOCK AND CHAINED HIM TO THE RADIATOR. "The idea was for people to dress up as black tie, I expected a few people to come in suits but I was blown away with the response. Some people literally had their prom dresses sent down to them and were so grateful they had a chance to wear them again. Others felt underdressed in a normal suit but spending the night with over 100 of my mates doing something so different than a regular house party, probably my best birthday I've ever had." James Elden
“My body builder mate got so drunk he thought a dining room wooden chair was a toilet and just s*** himself in the middle of a kitchen” Sophie Lynch “My best mate set her hair on fire in someone's toilet as they had a candle on the shelf behind her. She was wearing a ton of hair extensions and hair spray, so you can picture that!” Lucy Green “Our mate Adam Jannaway is a filthy f****er! Everytime he comes over to ours for a 90s house party, he gets more smashed than a plate in a Greek taverna. Last time he came over he threw up in our housemates bed, and then he slept in the bed that night - LAD” Chris Watson “So it was my mates 18th, with a free house we decided to throw her a party. To start off we thought it was good idea to use our friends dads Audi A8 for the alcohol run, but after denting the door this wasn’t such a good idea! We decided it would be funny to get her a stripper, so we agreed to put in £1 each so that was sorted! 100 people had turned up, the house stank of weed and the household dog was as smashed as we were as he acquired a taste for Jack Daniels! Things then started to get out of hand, the stripper turned up, the hot tub had turned into an orgy, the people having sex in the downstairs loo got excited and ripped the sink off the wall, the glass shower upstairs had been smashed and we still hadn’t paid the stripper! Needless to say the police joined us, and we were all left with a broken house to fix and £150 bill to pay the stripper.” Harry Johnson