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Dear Miss Adventure,
Yesterday was my birthday and instead of feeling like celebrating, it made me feel old, really really old. Lately, I’ve noticed how my skin seems a little dull next to my shiny latex outfits, and how bright red lipstick now just makes me look like a clown, but worse, whenever I put on my collar it only serves to accentuate, not my sexy submissiveness, but all the folds around my neck! But I’m still horny as hell at my age. Help.
Thinking of Trading in the Whip for A Teapot
Dear TTWAT, Before you do that, honey, let me tell you a little story. Once-upon-a-time yours truly felt the same way, so we spent a whole
perfectly sunny and beautiful morning huddled over our computer like a narcissistic little hunchback tracking down local plastic surgeons and reading-up about cosmetic lifts. After viewing hundreds of before and after, thumbnail-sized photos of droopy chins, wobbly upper arms, floppy thighs, morose mouth folds, we managed to get one of Frankenstein’s assistants on the phone, and after pressing her on what it all cost (...just give me a number!!!) she disclosed an alarming figure that came not in a size like a lovely dress or skirt, but in cc’s, like scary medicine. Suddenly, the specter of wicked expensive needles sticking out of our face wasn’t so appealling. Now totally bummed out, we went for a walk. Where upon we ran into a pleasantfaced fellow with a clip board and pen, soliciting donations for his wife’s cancer fund walk-a-thon. And for no reason at all, we stopped and listened to his pitch of being married for 20 years and how he’d raised money for her before when she first was sick and so forth. Would we be interested in sponsoring him this year? Standing there, that bright morning, at that moment, we looked deep and long into our dark heart and thought, “Eh, it’s only $30 bucks.” So we cut him a check, wished him well on his walk, and went on our way but not without starting to think how there were some good, really good people out there (and how we were not always one of them) but that the real good ones were doing solid good and sometimes they even gave the rest of us an opportunity to do good, to look good. The random exchange had made us happy inside out when we bumped into a friend who exclaimed, “Wow! you look great, did you just get your hair done?” So, you see? The secret to aging is to hold up the wrinkles with a smile, (i.e. get happy). Then no one will know you are in desparate need of lifting (mentally or physically) and they will mistake you for someone who is fun to play with. No matter how old you happen to be. If you think this is BS, ask our friend, always fabulous at any age, international latex fashion designer, The Baroness who said, “A smile is the only beauty tip I know that always works.” Red lipstick optional.
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These reviews brought to you by THE INSTANT REPLAY, WALTHAM MA
COUGARS TAKE IT BLACK
Starring: Alexandra Silk, Dana DeArmond, Jada Fire, Racquel Devine, Roxanne Hall, Sienna West, Flash Brown, Jon Jon, Julius Ceazher, Mark Anthony, Prince Yahshua, Rico Strong, Tee Reel. Director: Jonathan Morgan. Studio: Wicked Pictures. “Would you like cream or sugar with that, hon?” “No thanks, I like my coffee like I like my men: strong and black!” Aaaand we’re off on a Wicked Pictures-style reminiscence, as our lily-white cougars (and one who borders on snow leopard territory, if you know what I’m sayin’. More on her later) sit around a well appointed living room and tell stories of their walks on the wild side. We start with a very lusty and chatty Alexandra Silk telling all about her encounter with the new pool boy(!). Then we cut to her sunning herself by the pool in her see-through panties that say “meow” across the ass, eyeing the deep dark chocolate skin of her soon-to-be fuck buddy. She never shuts up, from the talk of having the cleanest pool in town and needing her holes unclogged to the ongoing monologue while the unclogging is going on. “You’re so hot I want to fuck your twin, baby! Are you going to bring your black friend over to fuck me too? What’s his name? C’mon, what’s his name?!” “Leroy,” “LEROY! That’s so fuckin’ hot! Does he have a big black tongue?” Black tongue?? It sounds stupid, and it is stupid, but she was clearly having so much fun running her mouth that I didn’t even fast forward to the come shot. Then there’s Racquel Devine asking the coach in to have coffee in her bedroom so she can convince him to let her son, “special Eddie”, start on the basketball team. Even though he tells her that Eddie is a little too special, she somehow prevails upon coach to see it her way. But my favorite was the aforementioned snow leopard doing some kind of aerobics with the stereo up too loud. Two black cops show up to tell her to turn it down. She ends up taking one in the clam and one in her cougary spooter, and the officers restore order, if not quiet, what with all her moaning, and the seven or so minutes of squelching noises. Always well produced and actually a little funny on purpose, Wicked strikes fear into the hearts of well-to-do white guys everywhere. Your cougar could be next!
MOTHER-DAUGHTER EXCHANGE CLUB PART 20
Starring: Ashlynn Leigh, Chastity Lynn, Rebecca Bardoux, Brenda James, Becca Blossoms, Pepper Kester, Allie Haze, Darla Crane Director: Uncredited Studio: Girlfriends Films There are movies with lesbian action, then there are lesbian movies. This one is clearly in the second camp, as we get tedious minutes of exposition before each scene to set up the context of exactly why these ladies want to fuck in the first place. Everything from twenty minutes on daughter calling mom out for having a secret girlfriend (“We’re thinking of moving in together. We didn’t want to tell you, but it’s really serious”) to mom setting up a date with another motherdaughter pair so her girl can give it to the other mom with the strap-on her mom took her shopping for. Of course the four of them have to have dinner on the veranda and talk about college plans first, to let us know it’s all just good, clean fun. Nothing dirty here, people! The ladies are so gentle and tender with each other, it’s like they’re actually making love instead of fucking. But when Chastity Lynn and Brenda James finish their sinful business on the bed as the moms look on approvingly from the doorway, and Chastity says “I love you mommy” as her mom comes over and kisses her on the mouth that was just eating her lover’s daughter’s pussy, well, that’s as twisted as any golden shower bukkake orgy you’ll ever see. Touché ladies, touché.
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As of 1/31/11, The Phoenix Classifieds office will be moving to the main Phoenix building at 126 Brookline Ave. It’s the next door down from the old place. Just take the elevator up to the 3rd floor and the Classifieds office is across from reception.
DEADLINES: Adult display ads-Friday at noon Adult line ads-Friday at 3PM Call 617-450-8799 to place your ad today
BI & BI-CURIOUS • LEATHER & UNIFORMS • S/M & B/D • DADDIES & 18+ BOYS • CUBS & BEARS • TV/TS • ANYTHING GOES! DISCREET HOOK-UPS BiM, 60, looking for discreet hookups. Box 51091 (xp11/10) SOUTH END 35, 5’7’’, 150lbs, hot and looking to hook up! Box 12791 (xp11/14) LONELY IN BROOKLINE GWM, 170lbs, 60, retired psychologist, well-built, sexually versatile, interested in meeting a peer comfortable with emotional and physical intimacy. Box 13461 (xp11/15) SEXY FRENCH TG In Newton Corner, with her own place. I’m nice, clean, have 8.5’’, little nipples, pretty face, long legs. Taking injections. Wanna get together for some sexy fun? Box 98631 (xp11/15) MARRIED WPM 50s, clean, discreet, masculine, N/S, N/Drugs, seeking a buddy for occasional safe, male to male play. Let’s watch porn, get hard, and s*ck each other off to completion. Central Conn area. Box 13421 (xp11/21) JUST A BI GUY Looking to have oral with somebody from Chelsea, Winthrop or Revere. I just want a nice, big c*ck to s*ck on. Box 92651 (xp11/24) ON MY KNEES I want to be on my knees s*cking, licking and rimming. Discreet, mature, disease-free and looking for the same. Box 87791 (xp11/24) SOUTH SHORE 43, looking for another guy to hook up with. I’m straight, married, clean and looking for a clean guy to experience new things with. Box 96221 (xp11/29) CLEAN, DISCREET & FIT WM, 50, looks younger, very clean, discreet, in good shape, 5’8’’, 155lbs, likes wearing pantyhose, heels, mini skirts and mini dresses. With make up and a wig I’m very passable and a lot more attractive than other single women. Seeking other CD in good shape. Let’s meet for a drink or coffee and see if we’re right for experimenting! Box 29801 (xp11/29) GIVE ME YOUR HOT LAVA I’m 5’8’’, 170lbs, brown/green, 6.5’’ cut, into oral, anal, spanking, body contact. Give great head and love having my ass stuffed with a nice, big d*ck. Overflow my mouth with that nice man juice of yours! Box 87761 (xp12/2) BEST BLOW JOB Would like to meet a guy, 18-19, Myrtle Beach area, with slim build and big d*ck. I love to s*ck on a nice, juicy young c*ck. Love to s*ck and lick til you get off in my mouth. Love taking your stiff, juicy c*ck deep into my mouth and giving you a long, luxurious blow job. Box 96091 (xp12/26) SOUTH EAST MA BOTTOM White male CD, slender, likes garters, nylons, crotchless panties. Looking for a top to service me. I can host or travel. Come f*ck my hole! Box 11931 (xp12/26) ITALIAN BOTTOM Needs to s*ck a naturally-scented, un-cut c*ck. Also cut or uncut to ride my ass. GM, cut, 57, 5’9’’, 130lbs, tight hole, average looks, celibate too long, wants to be sexually active with one or two guys. Pawtucket, RI. Box 96291 (xp12/29) NASTY, VERBAL, PASSIONATE Boston guy, 6’, 180lbs, good-looking Italian, 35, round bubble butt, pink p*ssy hole, 7.5’’ cut, nice ball bag, looking for a top with a big c*ck. Box 41101 (xp1/2)
LOVE TO PLAY HARD 6’, 190lbs, brown/blue, 7.5’’ cut, welltoned, versatile, works out regularly, nice-looking, good body. Always real horny and looking to play - give me a call. In Boston but prefer to travel. Box 36661 (xp1/3) F*CK ME HARD GWM, 46, 8.5’’ uncut, shoots big loads, loves sperm. Looking to shove your c*ck deep inside my ass. Box 51711 (xp1/4) TOP SEEKS SERVICE Looking for someone to service me to completion. 7’’ cut, completely shaved. Box 91001 (xp1/4) HAVERHILL AREA 5’10’’, 190lbs, red/brown, 7.5’’ cut, hairy c*ck and balls, smooth stomach, gives a great blow job and back and body massages. D/D-free. Box 96731 (xp1/13) NEW BEDFORD Good-looking, discreet, married WM, late 60s, 5’10’’, 180lbs, loves to be dominated and tied up. C*m in my face, make me do what you want me to do! I want to be completely helpless. Can’t host but can travel within 25 miles. I’m clean, sexy and healthy. Box 91931 (xp1/14) BiPM, 45 RI area, looking for the same to be adventurous and explore orally. Free all weekends. Box 91631 (xp1/14) ISO DOMINANT WM Seeking handsome, dominant WM, well-educated, not afraid to play games, to make me submissive! Box 45151 (xp1/14) CD BOTTOM 46, 6’, 215lbs, strawberry blonde, 8’’ cut, likes to work out. Seeking an older top who loves to get his c*ck s*cked. I’m a masculine guy who likes to dress fully and completely in make up, wigs, thigh highs, etc. Love role play, being bent over and spanked. Can you bring out my feminine, sissy, panty boy side? Older guys a plus. Let me be your girlfriend! Box 17011 (xp1/21) WOONSOCKET BI 7’’, loves to s*ck big c*ck. Call me ASAP! Box 10091 (xp12/12) SEEKING GREATTIMES BM, 6’1’’, 230lbs, well-built, 7’’ cut, looking for men for great times together. Box 12111 (xp1/24) BEST BLOW JOB Looking for young guys in their 20s-30s who want to receive the best blow job from a good-looking, laid-back, older guy with no reciprocation. Box 42061 (xp1/25) NO STRINGS BiWM, 57, 5’9’’, 170lbs, straight-acting, loves semen. Seeking clean, discreet, fit, assertive male, 35-60, to service orally hopefully on a regular basis. Box 63881 (xp1/17) SUBMISSIVE ASIAN Bottom boy, 26, seeks hot, dominate top. Box 42631 (xp1/27) VERY EAGER C*CK-S*CKER Older, feminine, seeking well-hung, dominate males who demand to be serviced regularly in Rhode Island. Box 98151 (xp1/27) NEW TO THIS Bi guy, mid 50s, looking for daytime and early evening encounters with guys my age or older. Box 50311 (xp1/27) OLDER GM 67, looking for men with small, soft c*cks, for friendship.Box 77081 (xp1/27) ISO NICE BIG C*CK Looking for a big c*ck in my ass and mouth. Box 27262 (xp12/30)
SEXY LINGERIE CD, 40, 6’, 215lbs, 8’’ cut, Irish and German, fair complexion, loves to dress like a sissy and get serviced in f*ck me pumps, thigh highs and miniskirts. I like being spanked, performing in front of a mirror. Want to get my urges and needs satisfied on a regular basis. Love to s*ck d*ck. Always horny for c*ck! Box 17012 (xp1/21) GOOD-LOOKING GUY North Shore guy seeks young, goodlooking, well-endowed guy to lay across my lap so I can feel his stiff d*ck as I administer a firm spanking, possibly more. I’m 5’8’’, 170lbs, brown/ green, 6.5’’ cut. Box 87762 (xp12/2) MY FIRST TIME SBM, 6’1’’, 230lbs, mid 50s, 7’’ cut c*ck, looking for TV, TS or CD. This is new to me and I’m willing to try anything. Box 12112 (xp1/24) LET ME BE YOUR GIRL Male, 50, North Shore, loves dressing up in panties, stockings, garters, lipstick, wigs. Would like to meet someone who likes to do the same. Box 11042 (xp12/1) LET’S GET TOGETHER WM, 50, clean and discreet, in good shape, 5’8’’, 145lbs, likes wearing pantyhose, heels and mini skirts. Nice legs, very shapely. Looking for someone who is fit, clean and discreet. Box 29802 (xp11/29) WATCH US PARTY! My girlfriend and I are looking for a guy who has toys or movies and wants to watch us. Your place. Box 39812 (xp11/21) BiM, SOUTH SHORE I want to kiss a nice guy’s butt. If you are in decent shape, let me know! Married a plus. Will also kiss your feet. Box 81032 (xp1/27)
SUBMISSIVE WM, 55 Clean, professional, very discreet, north of Boston, seeks dominant CD who is interested in training this inexperienced slut. Must be able to host. Box 99272 (xp11/20) ISO TS/TV Married WM, 50, in good shape, good-looking, well-hung, available mornings, weekdays and some weekends. Please be safe. Box 74102 (xp11/24) HAVERHILL AREA I need to travel. 5’10’’, cut c*ck, hairy balls, loves to give head and back massages. Clean, discreet, D/D-free. Box 96732 (xp1/13) SOUTH SHORE BI GUY 5’3’’, 150lbs, Italian, 7,5’’ cut c*ck, small ass, seeks another well-hung Bi guy to get naked with, mutual c*cks*cking, 69, nipple and butt play. Box 16902 (xp1/25) HANDSOME & SEXY Masculine, straight guy, very passionate, seeks sexy T-Girls, CDs or bottom guys. Must be smooth, slim, feminine and submissive. No heavies or masculines. Love getting rimmed, having my c*ck and balls worshipped, anal. Box 13472 (xp12/1) ISO BIG D*CK Male, 60, nice d*ck with a good head on it, South Shore area, would love to see some big d*cks! Box 45202 (xp1/13) TOP SEEKS BOTTOM Married WM, 46, 5’6’’, 150lbs, black/ hazel, mustache, top, looking for bottom to take me to completion. Just outside Boston. Box 41461 (xp1/18) LOVE TO FOOL AROUND Middle-aged Bi guy, well-endowed, uncut, seeking a male to fool around with. Very oral, seeking similar. Box 11191 (xp1/18)
BILLED TO YOUR PHONE - SAME PRICE AS THE OLD 976# TWO HOT GUYS One is 28, 6’2’’, with a hot, smooth, muscular body, one is 6’, 175lbs, bubble butt, 7.5’’ cut, want to party with big c*cks. Looking to get double f*cked? Let’s get raw! Box 41102 (xp1/2) ISO TS/CD Take me to completion orally. Leave a number. Box 92652 (xp11/24) CLEAN-CUT OLDER GUY I want to get on my knees and give you oral. Love s*cking, rimming, licking, wearing panties. Box 87792 (xp11/29) MARRIED WM New Bedford area, very discreet, late 60s, 5’10’’, 180lbs, good-looking, clean and healthy, seeking guys who like to be tied up, dominated, and forced to s*ck my d*ck. 7’’ with big balls, hairy body. Cannot host but will travel within 20 miles. Box 91932 (xp1/14) BOTTOM GUY Looking to service hot, dominant tops. Make me your b*tch. Box 42632 (xp1/27) NEW TO THIS Good physique, smooth body, looking for possible hand job or more with a CD who has that school girl look. Box 45342 (xp11/10) STOCKINGS BiWM enjoys wearing stockings. If you like the same, let’s meet! Box 99102 (xp1/25) RHODE ISLAND BJ Seeking discreet guy with a big c*ck. I like giving blow jobs to mushroom heads that shoot big loads. Box 41802 (xp11/27)
MARRIED WHITE GUY 6’1’’, 190lbs, 7’’ cut, not much Bi experience, wants to hook up with a slim, smooth, ell-hung BiBM who will invite me over to watch some porn. Box 57471 (xp1/5) ISO A NICE, HUGE C*CK Looking for good oral experience with a decent guy with a huge c*ck. Box 92651 (xp11/15) LET’S DRESS UP Cape Cod BiCD would like to meet other people to dress with me and entertain at my place. Box 13401 (xp12/4) C*CK & HOLE WORSHIP I love to worship your c*ck and your hole, s*ck c*ck, rim, kiss and get f*cked. I love hot and kinky sex! Box 44481 (xp12/18) LIVE OFF MAGIC Be creative, be different, but be sincere and be yourself. Male, 47, seeks decent, sincere, cool guy to get to know better! Box 98521 (xp11/10) TO PLEASURE & PLEASE 58, 5’7’’, 170lbs, smooth, short gray hair and mustache, 7’’ uncut, juicy balls, seeks older men, 50+, who can host some strictly oral, hot lovemaking. I love making out, s*cking c*ck, licking, body play, eating ass. Very discreet. Box 44931 (xp12/18) HORNY BI MALE Kinky, versatile man, 6’, 175lbs, 7.5’’, loves to have his assh*le eaten, s*ck d*ck and get spanked. Clean and safe, the kinkier the better! Box 86601 (xp11/12)
DOMINATE ME BPM looking for a dominant white guy to make me submit to him. I’m clean, well-educated, not afraid to play games. Box 45151 (xp1/14) ATTRACTIVE BI GUY Providence are man looking for hot guys to hook up on a regular basis. Box 97471 (xp1/17) NEW TO THE SCENE WM, 51, 5’10’’, 250lbs, stocky build, 6.5’’ cut, moderately hairy, seeks male, 30-50, to experiment giving and receiving oral and anal. Box 12311 (xp11/19) NORTH OF BOSTON 52 year-old guy looking for a connection. Not into the anonymous thing, just looking for another married guy to connect with. Box 12981 (xp11/28) GM, BOSTON AREA Loves stripping, sexy briefs, massages, nipple and butt play. You must host. Box 13171 (xp11/25) NICE FAT C*CK HEAD I need someone with a big d*ck to s*ck each other off. Clean, D/D-free. Box 45201 (xp12/30) ISO FOREIGN BORN MAN Looking for casual, discreet encounters with a well-hung, foreignborn man. I’m a WM, mid 30s, bottom, looking for discreet sex. Box 13391 (xp12/3) HEY GUYS! Good-looking guy with a sexy body, 150lbs, 5’6’’, naturally smooth, wellendowed, 8.5’’ cut, very horny, clean, discreet, looking for an older guy who can appreciate a hot guy. Box 94421 (xp11/13) LET’S HAVE FUN! Male, 43, 5’7’’, 165lbs, 6.5’’ cut, straight but curious, discreet, very clean, on the South Shore, wants to experiment with another guy. Box 96222 (xp11/8) VERY ORAL SWM, 44, 5’6’’, 155lbs, long brown hair, slightly feminine bottom, curious about the she-male lifestyle and enjoys wearing girl’s clothes. Seeking masculine, affectionate top guys in the South Eastern MA area. Box 49692 (xp1/17) CAN I BE YOUR GF? I’ll dress up in my running skort and boots and let you eat me. We can play together and you can let me eat you, too! Let’s have some sexy fun! Box 57052 (xp12/17) I LOVE ORAL I love kinky, raunchy, creamy, wet oral sex with an older man. Also enjoy water sports. Box 44932 (xp11/6) SEEKING COMPANY WM, 160lbs, 5’8’’, hazel eyes, brown hair, seeks friend, lover and companion for possible LTR. Age and race open. Box 78462 (xp1/16) SO HOT & HORNY! Sexy, smooth guy, 8.5’’ smooth c*ck, hot shaved ass, cute face, hot mouth, waiting for you! Box 94422 (xp11/13) HOW FAR DO YOU WANT TO GO? Caucasian male, 48, 5’6’’, 150lbs, top, hazel eyes, mustache, looking for someone to get together with and do whatever we’d like. Box 41462 (xp1/4) FIRST ORAL EXPERIENCE Seeking nice, friendly guys, couples, CDs or TS to take me through my first oral experience. Box 92652 (xp11/15) TOP, LATE 50S Seeking a bottom boy who can take a good, old-fashioned, bare-bottom, ass-reddening spanking. Seeking a guy on the North Shore who can host. Also into t*t play, c*ck and ball work, enemas, showers, piss play, anything wild and kinky. Box 20842 (xp11/17)
RHODE ISLAND Seeking a guy with a big, big c*ck, 8-10’’. Sit back and relax while I s*ck your c*ck! Box 41802 (xp11/16) ISO HOT GUYS Seeking hot, hung guys who want to play. 160lbs, brown/blue. Box 27402 (xp11/1) SOUND HOT? BM in Boston looking for a host in the Dorchester, Mattapan, JP areas. I’m 6’1’’, 195lbs, 7’’ cut, versatile bottom, who loves giving head, s*cking c*m and licking ass. Box 13362 (xp12/2) MIDDLE-AGED GUY BiM looking to fool around. 7.5’’ uncut, thick, looking for oral and JO. Box 11192 (xp1/18) WM ISO BI EXPERIENCE It’s my first time! Possibly looking for LTR. Must be discreet, D/D-free. Box 13262 (xp1/18) I LIKE IT SLOPPY Versatile pig bottom loves to take loads. 45, 6’2’’, thin, good-looking, short blond/blue, South End, loves to play! Box 40841 (xp10/22) WHAT’S GOING ON? BM, 6’, 190lbs, 7’’ cut, versatile bottom, looking for a host in the Boston/JP/Dorchester/Mattapan area. Serious callers. Leave your name and number. Box 13361 (xp11/18) ISO A FUN GUY Seeking occasional oral sex with a bi guy. Orally, I will do whatever you want! I just want to feel a nice, big, fat c*ck in my mouth. Box 92651 (xp11/20) VERY HORNY Looking to s*ck some c*ck. I’m a great c*ck-s*cker who loves to deep throat, kiss, rim, and get f*cked. Box 44481 (xp11/20) GM, BOSTON AREA Loves sexy briefs, mild spanking, massage, jacking, nipple and foot play. Wants to be licked and rimmed. You must host. Box 13171 (xp11/23) I NEED A TOP! Versatile, but more of a bottom, 5’10’’, 180lbs, shaved/blue, well-endowed, thick, nice ass, seeks smart, sexy, healthy guy for occasional fun. You can be straight, gay, Bi, whatever! Please be clean, safe, healthy, race open. Box 57661 (xp12/21) VERSATILE BM in Malden looking to hook up. Serious inquiries only. Box 13211 (xp12/23) DISCREET, MASCULINE BiWM, married, mid 50s, 6’1’’, 190lbs, 7’’ cut, looking to hook up with a wellhung biBM. Box 57471 (xp12/28) I’M FREE WHEN YOU ARE BM in Boston looking for a host. I’m interested in hooking up any time of the week! 6’1’’, 195lbs, medium build, 6.5’’ cut. Box 11371 (xp1/3) IF YOU ARE A NICE …skinny little slave boy, femme a plus, who needs severe discipline, enjoys forced oral, being gagged, led around with collars on your c*ck and neck, call. I like bondage, hot waxing. Be D/D-free. Box 51221 (xp1/10) ISO TV, CD, TS Male, 6’3’’, 240lbs, medium build, 7’ cut, moderately hairy, black/brown, looking for hook-ups with CDs, TVs or TS. Box 62611 (xp1/10) ISO HUGE D*CK Looking for someone with 9 or 10’’. Medford area. I live alone, I’m 50, and I love to s*ck d*ck. Box 96971 (xp1/12) FREAKY PIG I love a big c*ck in my mouth and my ass. Leave this pig a message if you want to get down and dirty. Box 27262 (xp12/20)
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