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Dear Miss Adventure,

I’m having a hard time convincing my friends that they need to adhere to the dress code when we go out clubbing. They say it’s pretense, I say it sets the atmosphere and makes the night something special. Can you please make them behave?

- Dressed to the Cat O’ Nine Tails in Taunton

Dear DCNTT, I share your sartorial sorrow. Whenever I see someone attend the opera in jeans and sneakers, I could scream louder than Lucia di Lammermoor when she goes nuts in the second act, and that’s pretty freakin’ loud! As the old English expression goes, “Clothes maketh the player,” or something like that. Or if you prefer, Mark Twain’s quip, “Clothes make the man, naked people have little to no influence on society.” Though that statement might be a bit outmoded, these days. My clueless friend recently asked me if it would be “OK” to go to a fetish club wearing khakis, or would everyone think he was an old man. To which I replied: yes they will think you are an old man, at home in your underwear watching reruns of Family Guy on hulu.com because they didn’t let you in. Don’t let this happen to you. We asked kink prince and creative promoter extraordinaire, Michael DiCarlo, who runs a tight club ship, Sinomatic, why he insists on strict protocol, “What makes a great fetish night is when everyone dresses up. There’s a quote I love, ‘it doesn’t matter who you are or how much money you have, you are only judged by how you dress.’” He adds, “We do not allow people in on fetish night that are not, at least, dressed in all black. We want to create a very comfortable and safe environment for everyone. It’s about building a tight-knit community.” Once you get a decent fetish outfit together, check out Sinomatic, Boston’s premier fetish event every third Saturday at Machine, 1257 Boylston Street, Massachusetts, or go to www.sinomatic.net. And leave the chinos at home.

Follow Miss Adventure’s exploits on Twitter at Twitter.com/MissA4Advice


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THE ANAL TEENS

Starring: Daysie, Angelina, Stasia, Cindy, Barbie, Mila, Oliver Strelly, Timo Hardy. Director: Max Schneider Studio: New Sensations Huuunnghh!! Right in the keister! The title mostly says it all, but leaves out two orifices. It’s one lithe and coltish European girl after another, in somebody’s flat in Prague, or Istanbul, or somewhere, taking the prodigious uncut cock of Timo Hardy in every hole, in any order. What with all the ATM, ATP, PTM, and M back to A again, I’m guessing more than one person came down with a case of thrush after making this movie. Either that, or everyone was loaded with enough antibiotics to kill a small rodent. Featured performer Daysie deep throats like a pro and moans American style while Timo snakes out her turd locker with his bulimic python. Frequent breaks in the action so we can peer up the gape, and I swear I could see the underside of her tonsils. Daddy must be so proud!

NOT JENNIFER LOPEZ XXX: AN AMERICAN IDOL

Starring: Renae Cruz, Eva Angelina, Alexis Amore, Veronique Vega, Aarielle Alexis, Carmella Santiago, Sunny Lane, Kelli Tyler, Aurora Snow, Isabella Sky, Lee Stone, Jeremy Steele, Tee Reel, Kurt Lockwood, James Bartlett. Director: Will Ryder. Studio: X-Play It’s not really a parody of an American Idol episode per se, but we do get to see Renae Cruz sex it up as “J-Ho”, who’s been called upon by her country to help bring down Al Qaeda. Something about Amad Zihad the terrorist, and also there’s a lot of interstitial nonsense footage of the White House (replete with genuine Obama speech clips!). To be honest, I had trouble following the plot, which was looser than an Anal Teen’s busted balloon knot. I didn’t quite get what the laugh track was for, because it wasn’t funny (well, not intentionally). The sex is pretty hot though; J-Ho does “Marc Anthony” and “Fantasia Burrito,” and there’s a good reverse spit-roast as she and Alexis Amore play vagi-tug-o-war with a massive double headed jelly dong. And the lovely Eva Angelina remains among the most cock-takingly beautiful women in porn.

PRIVATE LESSONS

Starring: Jessica Drake, Brooke Banner, Devon Lee, Marie Luv, Rocco Reed, Andy San Dimas, Barrett Blade, Johnny Castle, Marcus London. Director: Marcus London Studio: Wicked Pictures Rocco Reed channels Joey Tribbiani (no really) as Seth, a 22 year old virgin living with his mom when life changes: sexy Jessica Drake moves in next door. One night as he looks out his window, he sees her with a man in her living room. He sneaks across the street with his video camera. Just as she’s taking the stud’s facial blast, her eyes meet his. He panics and bolts! The next day, she calls him over as he’s biking by. “What would your mommy say if she knew?” she asks. See where this is going? It starts out as him doing her household chores to keep her quiet, but quickly moves into saltier duties. Good production values for a porn, and dare I say the “acting” was “good” enough to make me actually remember the plot line. Another solid entry by Wicked Pictures!

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401.274.6655 Master Card

375 Admiral Street Providence, RI

KANGLE SPA

Wellness Spa & Sauna Table Shower, Dry Sauna, Barefoot Body Work, Foot Care Anmo, Body Scrub Walk-ins welcome

7 Days A Week www.KangleSpa.com Gift Certificates Available 9am – 9pm

978-777-3988 325 North Main St . ( R o u t e 114 ) Middleton, M A 019 4 9

42 High St, Studio 1A Medford, MA 02155

781-395-8886 SWEET ASIAN HOTTIES

NORTH MAIN STREET SPA 1185 North Main St. Providence, RI 02904

401.453.6677 2 MINUTES AWAY FROM EXIT 25 OFF INTERSTATE 95 • SAUNA

866.374.4046

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617-800-3939

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WE’VE MOVED

As of 1/31/11, The Phoenix Classifieds office will be moving to the main Phoenix building at 126 Brookline Ave. It’s the next door down from the old place. Just take the elevator up to the 3rd floor and the Classifieds office is across from reception.

DEADLINES: Adult display ads-Friday at noon Adult line ads-Friday at 3PM Call 617-450-8799 to place your ad today


BI & BI-CURIOUS • LEATHER & UNIFORMS • S/M & B/D • DADDIES & 18+ BOYS • CUBS & BEARS • TV/TS • ANYTHING GOES! LOVE TO PLAY HARD 6’, 190lbs, brown/blue, 7.5’’ cut, welltoned, versatile, works out regularly, nice-looking, good body. Always real horny and looking to play - give me a call. In Boston but prefer to travel. Box 36661 (xp6/29) PROVIDENCE ONLY Masculine, butch Italian male into lingerie. Not a drag or TV. Interested in others who feel the same. I can dress you and I have a place for us to play. Willing to share my lingerie. Married, uncut men welcome. Sex optional. Sane and clean-cut, you be the same. Box 86651 (xp7/27) OLDER GUY Looking for young, well-built guys to keep me company and play, possibly also when I travel. Box 71191 (xp8/8) CUTE BIG BOY Puerto Rican male, mature, lives alone, 6’1’’, light caramel complexion, light brown eyes, cute, 280lbs, looking for some fun times. Box 42751 (xp8/5) SUBMISSIVE BI Bi guy, 57, looking for guys my age or older. You must host. Box 50311 (xp8/11) DISCREET, MASCULINE Bi Married WM, 6’1’’, 190lbs, 7’’ cut, mid 50s, looking for slim, smooth, well-hung black guy. Box 57471 (xp7/28) DATING A SLAVE Seeking a house slave who will wear nothing but a collar and be punished with leather hoods, bondage, cuffs, oral and more. All I’m asking is that you are 18-35, preferably slim or skinny, smooth-shaven, and willing to learn how to become a good slave. Be punished at your master’s will! Box 51221 (xp8/8) HUNGRY MAN EATER Looking for new friends in Rhode Island. Prefer older married males. Reciprocation not required. Box 98151 (xp6/13) WANT TO PLAY I can host if you want to hook up! 5’8’’, 160lbs, nice package, down-toearth and lots of fun. Will not disappoint. Very oral. Winthrop area. Box 81111 (xp8/5) SEEKING ORAL BiM, 55, looking for man-to-man oral with others, 45+. Box 93441 (xp6/23) ORAL SERVICE Married bi guy looking for other guys in the same situation for oral service. Box 92651 (xp6/7) I WANT A THREESOME Malden man seeking guys for a threesome. I’m 5’8’’, 170lbs, brown/green, 6.5’’ cut, into oral, anal, spanking, body contact. Give great head and love having my ass stuffed with a nice, big d*ck. Box 87761 (xp8/11) DOMINANT MARRIED MAN 6’, 175lbs, black/hazel, in great shape, works out with weights, 7’’ c*ck, toned and tanned, loves to show off his body and have it worshipped by submissive men. Kneel at my feet, do as you are told… and enjoy it! No head games or craziness, just a lot of fun worshipping me and my beautiful c*ck! Box 54791 (xp8/5) LET’S PLAY BiWM, 5’9’’, 6’’ cut, looking for big, clean guys for fun. Box 44301 (xp8/4) ALL CALLS ANSWERED Providence man, 5’9’’, 170lbs, clean shaven up and down, bubble butt, sissy little bottom, loves wearing thigh highs and a teddy or a nice bra and panty set. Looking for some fun! Box 96291 (xp8/3)

ALL NATURALE Quincy man, 45, 6’2’’, 190lbs, 7.5’’ cut, looking to hook up with other GM, 50+. I love foreplay, kissing, s*cking c*ck. All naturale, clean, safe bottom. I cannot host. Box 99961 (xp8/10) CLEAN, DISCREET & FIT WM, 49, looks younger, very clean, discreet, in good shape, 5’8’’, 155lbs, likes wearing pantyhose, heels, mini skirts and mini dresses. With make up and a wig I’m very passable and a lot more attractive than other single women. Seeking other CD in good shape. Let’s meet for a drink or coffee and see if we’re right for experimenting! Box 29801 (xp6/10) SEXY FRENCH TG In Newton Corner, with her own place. I’m nice, clean, have 8.5’’, little nipples, pretty face, long legs. Taking injections. Wanna get together for some sexy fun? Box 98631 (xp6/6) ISO SMOOTH GUYS Wanna get off, play around, and have a good time? I’m just a phone call away. Box 11081 (xp6/26) A BEAUTIFUL SILHOUETTE …among the nighttime stars. Thank goodness it’s springtime, so blue skies and strawberry fields forever! Central MA area man, 47, 6’1’’, 220lbs, bear, looking to meet a decent, sincere, cool guy to get to know better. Box 98521 (xp6/4) TO PLEASURE & PLEASE 58, 5’7’’, 170lbs, smooth, short gray hair and mustache, 7’’ uncut, juicy balls, seeks older men. 50+, who can host some strictly oral, hot love-making. I love making out, s*cking c*ck, licking, body play, eating ass. Very discreet. Box 44931 (xp6/26) LET’S TALK! Male, 5’9’’, black/brown, with 8’’ d*ck, seeks another male to have hot times with. Box 99831 (xp7/15) WANNA HAVE FUN? Married man, 45, in shape, N/S, N/D, healthy, looking to receive oral to completion. Call me and we’ll take it from there! Box 11001 (xp8/9) I’LL MAKE YOU C*M Quincy area man, cannot host, looking for somebody who wants me to s*ck on their hard c*ck to completion. Very into giving and receiving oral. Red hair, 6’1’’, 20 years-old. Box 72161 (xp8/11) I LOVE ORAL Taunton area, 60s, great legs, married white CD, can host weekday afternoons. Love oral and receiving anal. Leave a number, I’ll call you! Box 97321 (xp6/24) ISO YOUNG BLACK C*CK Late 20s-30s. Stuff my assh*le up and fill it with your creamy c*m. Box 27262 (xp7/20) SPANKINGS Seeking a good-looking guy who wants to lay across my lap so I can feel his stiff d*ck between my legs while I give him a bare-bottom spanking, possibly more. I’m 5’8’’, 170lbs, brown/green, 6.5’’ cut, discreet. Box 87762 (xp8/11) I’LL BE YOUR GIRL Male, 51, 6’, loves to cross-dress, loves panties, stockings, garters, lipstick. Looking for another CD or somebody who likes them, for conversation or more. Let’s meet and do each other’s nails! Box 11042 (xp5/31) NO EXPERIENCE WM, 49, looks younger, clean and discreet, in good shape, 5’8’’, 155lbs, likes wearing pantyhose and heels, panties, mini skirts and mini dresses. I’m very passable when wearing a wig and make-up! Seeking another CD, also in good shape. Box 29802 (xp6/10)

TAKE A CHANCE! WM, early 50s, nice body, seeks older gentleman. I enjoy full body massage and happy endings. I’ll come to you! Box 37032 (xp7/10) I WANT TO TASTE YOU Older, submissive c*ck-s*cker Seeking dominant, aggressive, well-endowed males who demand to be serviced on a regular basis. Rhode Island. Reciprocation unnecessary – my pleasure is in pleasuring you! Box 98151 (xp6/12) SUBMISSIVE BOTTOM Good-looking guy wants your d*ck in his tight ass. I’ll do whatever you say! Box 93342 (xp6/12) SUBMISSIVE Middle-aged guy, smooth body, seeks biker type. Seeking another guy around 60 in the Boston area who can host. Box 77082 (xp8/6) SEEKING COMPANY WM, 160lbs, 5’8’’, hazel eyes, brown hair, seeks friend, lover and companion for possible LTR. Age and race open. Box 78462 (xp8/11) HOT SEX ON A STEADY BASIS Really cute CD, sweet, no BS, lots of fun to be with, guaranteed to give you a bone in your pants, seeks steady top boyfriend with 8 thick inches. Cute face, long dark curly hair, silky smooth body, perfectly clean ass that can take your love muscle all night long while sucking on my Virginia Slims. You’ll love how I worship your c*ck and balls. Box 39252 (xp7/21) MAKE ME YOUR SISSY North Shore man, 44, 6.5’’, clean shaven, athletic build, likes nylons, high heels and mini skirts. Give me a call! Box 95212 (xp5/31)

SISSY LIL BOTTOM Providence area WPM, bi and married, 5’9’’, 165lbs, brown eyes, clean shaven, shaved bubble butt, versatile but more submissive, sissy little bottom, into wearing thigh highs or a teddy. Box 96292 (xp8/4) LOVE TO PLEASE ORALLY Submissive, straight-acting, slightly feminine SWM, 43, 5’6’’, 155lbs, wears girls clothes somewhat openly, total bottom, loves to please a man orally. Seeking total top guys who are confident, masculine, affectionate. Eastern Mass. Box 49691 (xp7/25) BIG D*CK BM, 24, 9’’, looking for a little sexy fun. Box 42352 (xp5/28) NEWPORT NANCY Feminine WM would love to meet someone who loves fashion, make up, being girly. Very affectionate. Open to meeting a couple or other feminine men. Loves intimacy! Box 11582 (xp7/24) TOP SEEKS BOTTOM Married WM, 46, 5’6’’, 150lbs, black/ hazel, mustache, top, looking for bottom to take me to completion. Just outside Boston. Box 41461 (xp7/13) TOTAL BOTTOM BM, 6’, 215lbs, medium build, 7’’ cut, looking for someone to fulfill my needs. Call me! Box 11371 (xp7/18) ISO HARD C*CK Male, 45, can never get enough sperm! Leave me a message and let me know what size your d*ck is. The bigger the better! Box 51711 (xp6/4) ANY BIG C*CKS AVAILABLE? I’m on the lookout for a guy with a big c*ck. Call if you’re the one! Box 27401 (xp5/11)

900.988.4545

BILLED TO YOUR PHONE - SAME PRICE AS THE OLD 976# MY FIRST TIME Male, 6’3’’, black/brown, moderately hairy, hot, horny, oral, open-minded, looking to get f*cked for the first time by TV, TS or other males. Box 62612 (xp8/8) OLDER GUY HERE Looking to take care of some younger guys, especially well-built ones. Get back, you won’t be disappointed! Box 71192 (xp8/8) LOOKING TO SERVICE I want to orally service a married guy or a couple. I’m just looking for some good, clean oral fun! Box 92652 (xp6/7) SOUTH SHORE SEX Quincy man, 6’, red hair, looking for someone who is in the area, can host, and likes to be s*cked off to completion. Really into oral, both giving and receiving. Box 72162 (xp8/10) WANT TO TRY ANAL WM, 51, 5’10’’, 250lbs, muscular build, moderately hairy, looking to hook up. You must host. Cambridge, Somerville, Medford or Malden area. Box 12312 (xp6/10) BIWM, 39 Married, loves to s*ck and wear sexy clothes, mini skirts and all that good stuff! If you like the same, call me! Box 99102 (xp8/11) YOUR SLAVE I’m looking to be punished! Anybody out there want to take charge? Box 11462 (xp8/10)

HAVERHILL AREA 5’10’’, brown eyes, 8’’ cut, likes to get down on his knees and give good blow jobs. Get in touch if you can host. I’m clean, discreet, D/D-free. Box 96731 (xp7/22) JUST A MARRIED GUY ISO oral with another married guy in the same situation. Winthrop/North Shore. Box 92651 (xp5/26) ISO WELL-HUNG BLACK GUYS Seeking a few black guys who can take control and make me their bitch. I’ll do whatever you say, I need to be dominanted! Box 97531 (xp5/19) ATTRACTIVE BOTTOM BITCH I love to s*ck c*ck and I will do whatever you say! Very submissive! Box 93341 (xp7/15) SOUTH END VERSATILE BOTTOM Seeking a versatile top. I’m 6’2’’, brown/blue, good-looking, 175lbs, 7’’ cut, 45 years-old. Box 40841 (xp6/21) BEST BLOW JOB I’d like to hook up with a guy 18-20 in the Myrtle Beach area, with a slim build and nice, long-lasting c*ck. Just sit back and relax while I s*ck and lick your stiff, throbbing d*ck, or kneel over me while I lay back and slide your hot c*ck into my mouth. Totally discreet, I just love s*cking off a nice d*ck! Box 96091 (xp7/16) LET ME SEE! Male, 52, likes to watch heavy c*mers jack off. If you like to be watched, get back to me. Box 96141 (xp7/24)

617-374-3113

PLAY WITH ME Italian male, 5’10’’, well-built, cleanshaven, clean and discreet, looking for a little fun! Box 16441 (xp7/24) BOTTOM GUY Seeking blue-collar, uniform top guy who needs to get off in my mouth. Make me get down on my knees, shove it in my mouth, and shoot that load for me. Box 98711 (xp5/16) TOP MALE ISO SERVICE Mid 50s, looking to get serviced to completion. I’m 6.5’’ cut and completely shaved. Box 91001 (xp6/14) HOT TIMES TOGETHER Quincy male, 45, looking to hook up with other males, 45+. I love a lot of foreplay. I’m a clean, safe bottom. Box 99961 (xp7/24) SEEKING A BOTTOM Married WM, 50, good-looking, in decent shape, seeking a pre-op CD or a nice bottom. You must entertain. Box 74101 (xp5/18) LET’S MEET Male, 60ish, looking for friendship and oral sex. Call if you want to get down. Box 99761 (xp5/15) TAUNTUN AREA All woman! Married WCD loves oral, reveivinb anal. Can host weekday afternoons. Box 97321 (xp5/26) NEW TO THE SCENE WM, 51, 5’10’’, 250lbs, stocky build, 6.5’’ cut, moderately hairy, seeks male, 30-50, to experiment giving and receiving oral and anal. Box 12311 (xp 5/30) DISCREET SUBMISSIVE Total bottom SWM, 43, 5’6’’, 150lbs, loves giving oral sex. Also very curious about the shemale lifestyle. Seeking masculine, affectionate guy, South Eastern MA, for possible relationship. Box 49692 (xp5/22) ISO THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS Seeking sexy she-male who loves to wear stockings, like I do. I love to s*ck c*ck. If you have t*ts and a c*ck, I can’t wait to hear from you! Box 42702 (xp6/27) GORGEOUS DOMINANT PRE-OP 5’9’’, 138lbs, black/blue, 36C t*ts, nice 7’’ c*ck, long legs and beautiful feet, seek submissive married men who know their place… which is at my feet. Lick my toes and worship my c*ck! Box 54792 (xp5/22) ISO SHEMALE Bi-curious SWM looking for first experience with another man. I want to taste you in my mouth and feel you in my back door. Seeking a shemale with a nice surprise! Box 42932 (xp7/24) WANNA S*CK MY D*CK? I want to s*ck yours! I’ll s*ck you dry and lick your balls. Box 44732 (xp7/16) JUST A BI GUY Seeking oral with a CD or TS on the North Shore. I’ll treat you like a girl. Box 92652 (xp5/25) SEEKING BI THREESOME Male, 37, 5’10’’, 160lbs, 8’’ c*ck, looking for a threesome with a man and a woman. Box 96232 (xp7/26) ISO DISCREET GUYS 40-60, in Rhode Island. I give great blow jobs if you want one! No strings attached! Box 41802 (xp6/18) WHAT TURNS YOU ON? Male, 5’11’’, 200lbs, brown/brown, 7’’, 37, looking for guys to give and receive oral, 69, mutual JO or watch videos together in Providence. Box 97352 (xp6/8) NICE BUBBLE BUTT Attractive, slim, fit guy, 6’’ hot c*ck, likes playing around with other men. Seeking fit man who can be dominant. Box 45022 (xp5/13)

FRONT TO BACK MASSAGE 5’10’’, 190lbs, brown eyes, 8’’ cut, looking for someone who can host in the Haverhill area. I love to give head and deep throat, giving massages. Box 96732 (xp7/22) GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE? Looking to service or be serviced by another male in front of his wife or girlfriend. Box 92292 (xp5/30) OPEN-MINDED 6’3’’, black/brown, 7’’ cut, round bubble butt, moderately hairy, into body contact, making out. Very openminded, looking for someone who can host. Open to TV/TG/CD. Box 12392 (xp7/27) SMALL D*CK, BIG BALLS Plenty of c*m. Call me if you want to hear more! I’d love to get off with you. Box 77021 (xp7/19) LOVE TO FOOL AROUND Middle-aged Bi guy, well-endowed, uncut, seeking a male to fool around with. Very oral, seeking similar. Box 11191 (xp7/18) MARRIED BIWM Looking to hook up with a slim, smooth, well-hung black or Puerto Rican guy. I like watching porn, mutual JO, oral, 69 action. I’m 6’1’’, 190lbs, 7’’ cut. Box 57471 (xp7/5) SEEKING ORAL Married guy looking for oral hookups in Revere or East Boston areas. Box 92651 (xp5/16) SUBMISSIVE, HORNY Hairy bottom guy looking for a top who is used to getting what he wants! Box 45471 (xp7/17) SEEKING A STEADY BiWM, 50, 5’10’’, 180lbs, brown/blue, likes cross-dressing. Seeking hardworking guys, 40-60, who love to be orally worshipped. Let’s watch some XXX and have a drink, see where it goes! Box 45961 (xp7/15) LINGERIE AND NYLONS Do you like to wear lingerie and nylons? So do I. Older married man, loves cross-dressing. Clean and discreet a must. Rhode Island area. Looking to service you without reciprocation. Box 10521 (xp6/9) MARRIED & DISCREET Straight acting and appearing, married WM, 40, black/blue, looking for other guys on the same boat. Box 45161 (xp7/18) WARM WATER ENEMA Looking for guys who enjoy the pleasure of giving or receiving a warm, relaxing enema. Box 11871 (xp6/5) MASCULINE, MATURE Discreet bi bottom, passionate, loves making out, body contact, s*cking c*ck, having my ass played with, licked, fingered, s*cked and f*cked. You must host. Box 95731 (xp5/20) ISO YOUNG C*CK My mouth and ass are just dying to give your c*ck the attention it deserves! I can host. Box 27262 (xp6/29) REALLY CUTE CD Very sweet, no BS, lots of fun to be with. I’d love to find a steady top boyfriend with a thick 8’’ or more. Half hour south of Boston. I have a cute face, long, dark curly hair, slim, smooth body, perfectly clean ass. You’ll love how I worship your c*ck and balls while I deep throat you, looking up at you with my submissive puppy dog eyes. I’d also love to ride your love muscle all night long while my large breasts bounce up and down, and I suck hard on my Virginia Slim Menthols. Box 39252 (xp7/17)

617.374.3131

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