VOLUME VI, ISSUE 1
Today: I can see clearly now the rain is gone. Tomorrow: I can see more clearly now that those cataracts are gone
Inside This Issue
Shopping period fails to stimulate economy. Page 6
FOOD NEWS: Students finally given fourth place to buy a sandwich in Usdan. Page 55
INTERNET NEWS: Student invites Facebook friend to campusrelated event. Page 120
REALITY NEWS: Second semester seniors continue to ponder how fast college flew by. Page 2010
TECH NEWS: Apple iSlate ushers in iStone-age.
JAMES CAMERON PRESENTS...
Blowfish predicts your future! Page 2 Study Abroad Mad Libs! Page 3 Conan Signs to BTV! Page 3 Shapiro Microwave Opens! Page 4
Dan Brown Wins Massachusetts Election Beats out Coakley for position in Senate, NY Times bestseller list.
BY DANIEL PIPES Staff Writer
In a story most of us have already read, Dan Brown was elected to the U.S. Senate this past Tuesday beating Martha “The Incoming Tide” Coakley in a victory that can only be summarized as a good-looking protagonist engaged in a fast-paced plot arc to unravel the whims of aged and incredibly elaborate bureaucratic institution. Brown was supported by a vast conspiratorial get-out-the-vote church sect with the remarkable ability ensure it voted for the right candidate. As Cambridge resident Holly Grael explained, “I was convinced the moment that nice young albino man knocked on my door. He had some terrible red stains on his shirt, but presentation isn’t everything. Just ask my neighbors. When they return from vacation that is. I wonder where they went.” Brown’s campaign included a number of short stump speeches which all ended in a way that left the audience eager to know how the next one would go. In one famous Senator-elect Brown sends his top aides to rally support at a local polling stop, he declared “My views on abortion station. are not well known. But I believe in an honest campaign and I am going to tell you exactly how I feel ers were unable to break the elaborate encryption it was writabout it.” He was then assaulted by a deaf assassin, and was ten in. Many voters have shown surprise that he didn’t realize chased from the premises. The plot line was never revisited. this deception sooner, such as Brookline resident Joe Chara Brown’s career in the Senate is sure to include the same who pointed out, “I think by about halfway through the camintelligent use of religious symbolism that he was known for paign the fact that his supposed friend and confidante was acin the Massachusetts State Senate. None in this great state tually his greatest enemy was a little too obvious. It also is the will soon forget his argument for the death penalty using the exact same thing that happened in his last three campaigns.” significance of the Egyptian sun god Ra in the criminal justice Once in office, Brown is expected to turn this success into system. Brown’s success in the campaign also comes despite a springboard for his new project, an increase in funding for the fact that one of his top aides, Picker Teabing, was actually the NASA program with a focus on the poles. It is believed a disguised Martha Coakley whose attempts to bring down that in the North Pole there are remains of a comet that conBrown’s campaign from the inside were only foiled by his tain signs of life. And who else can investigate but slick, sexy own luck and cunning. Brown issued a statement lamenting intelligence analyst Rachel Sexton, who--what? You’ve never how negative this type of campaigning was though most vot- read Deception Point? Don’t.
Avatar Activates Area Activists BY JODIE MCGOVERN Provost
Now that James Cameron’s Avatar has received universal acclaim from critics and audiences the world over, it seems of little surprise that Brandeis students have taken the destruction of the planet Pandora and it’s native people, the Na’vi to heart spawning a wave of activism against the RDA corporation, a suspiciously perfect epitome-of-evil which has ruined the planet of Pandora in pursuit of the mineral unobtanium. Since the release of Avatar, eight new activist groups have formed on campus and are dedicated to preserving the planet of Pandora and its Tree of Souls. The more prominent clubs include “United Society for the Preservation of Hometree”, “Advocates for Eywa”, and “Blue Justice”. The women’s Frisbee team has even set up a support network called “Banshee to Banshee” to tighten connections with Pandora’s most regal of flying creatures. One group in support of the RDA
Page 4,000 BC
JOKE OF THE WEEK: Q: What do you call a friend with an elephant on his head? A: A flatmate! NOTE FROM THE EDITORS: We haven’t actually even seen Avatar. There’s no way it’s that good though, right? Questions? Comments? Email us at email@example.com!
January 22, 2010
Na’vi tribeswomen Neytiri spoke to a crowd of Brandeis activists about the plight of her people. A rebuttal by Alan Dershowitz followed shortly thereafter.
corporation has also been established, but it is generally accepted that they are just trolling. Justin Kael, president of “Friends with Trees”, had this to say about the campus’s sudden concern for the Na’vi people: “I think that Cameron’s documentary showed everyone the truth about what was really happening on the planet Pandora. Their culture is so rich with life! Not only do they have a unique eco-system, but they also have their own language, religion, and video game series. We can’t destroy their civilization just so we can mine a vague mineral whose purpose is never really explained to begin with.” When asked what could be done to spread the message of the Na’vi people, Kael suggested that “Cameron could make more movies about the lives of these alien-Americans. I have a feeling that there is a lot more to this story, and I think that Cameron is just the man to tell us about it. I bet there’s enough material to fill at least three more feature length films, and probably an animated mini-series. I also think it’s great the way that Cameron has raised awareness about the Na’vi to kids under 13. I see a lot of children wearing Avatar backpacks and t-shirts, it’s great that their parents understand how important it is for everyone to see this documentary. Kids are the future, and this generation seems especially interested in the Na’vi culture.” While most activists support the movie for its positive role in promoting the Na’vi culture, many have criticized its overgeneralized view of life on Pandora in general and the Na’vi in particular. Craig Liechtenstein, founder of Truth in Movies is Desirable (TIMID), referred to the portrayal of Pandora as “needlessly fantastic. You watch it and assume that everything is alright at the end, and meanwhile the Na’vi have lost most of their pleasant and universally-appealing-to-audiences generic spirituality. Half of them are alcoholics now, and the other half have been contracted by the RDA corporation to employ their own people in the unobtanium mines. Everything that made the Na’vi lovable and marketable is gone, replaced by cold capitalism.” Liechtenstein went on to describe how those quick shrinking plants no longer shrink, nothing glows anymore, and the giant scary panther thing will disembowel you “unenthusiastically.” While Avatar is the most eye-opening film to be seen in a while, it is by no means the first to raise awareness of previously obscure issues. The fascination with Pandora is comparable to the enthusiasm for equal opportunities for penguins in the fine arts after Happy Feet, cute robot adoption after WALL-E, or shuffling deck chairs after Titanic.
PAGE 2- OPINION
BlowScopes Your guide to shunning all logic and turning to the stars...
Aquarius: January 20 - February 18 - SSIS will remind you, too late, that unlike regular herpes, e-herpes can be passed by anonymous webcam encounter. Pisces: February 19 - March 19 - Your last M&M will fall on the ground. Yeah, it’s depressing, but that’s what the stars say. You wanna mess with the stars? Didn’t think so. Aries: March 20 - April 20 - In accordance with the laws of physics, you will always be propelled by gravity towards the Earth. It is important to never forget this in the next fortyeight hours. Taurus: April 21 - May 21 Your new math professor has no shadow. His voice is distorted by strange whispers. Never say his name out loud. He can hear you.
LETTER TO THE EDITORS Dear The Blowfish,
I would very much like to be considered for one of your internship positions. Like most Brandeisians, I am a great admirer and devoted reader of the Blowfish. In fact, the Blowfish is my primary source of Brandeis-related news, after the Justice, the Hoot, and in certain circumstances, Innermost Parts. Unlike most Brandeisians, I would do pretty much anything to sustain the Blowfish’s skeptically aloof and pragmatic voice amid the vociferous and often woefully misguided shrieks of the mainstream Brandeis media. (It’s all President Reinharz this, budget crisis that to them. Who needs such sensationalist, alarmist departure from the truth)? I mean if you guys want a kidney, whether it’s my kidney or the kidney of that hobo on the corner, you’ve got it. I would give you a kidney even if you just wanted to put it in a jar because you think it would be “the bomb.” Besides, who am I, and furthermore who are the police to question such matters? As an intern for the Blowfish, I would be happy to attend a variety of student-led activities, even the ones delusional enough not to offer free food, such as the sky diving club, the Scientologist Student Association and, of course, the Brandeis Republicans. I would even report on the seemingly pointless student protests for do-gooder causes like the eradication of poverty, genocide and the hierarchy of male dominance. From attending the occasional cultural or literary event on campus, I’ve learned that you should treat every visitor to Brandeis, from internationally respected judges to internationally drooled over porn stars, with the utmost respect, but if you’re going to stage a counter-protest, you should at least make a witty sign, preferably rhyming. In sum, I am willing to risk my physical and psychological well-being for this job because really the ultimate risk in this sort of position is that a young, idealistic person such as myself becomes disillusioned by the very people and institutions she once idolized. You may be wondering, “who is this girl?” Well, like about a quarter of the Brandeis population, I’m a nice Jewish girl, and who wouldn’t want to hire a nice Jewish girl? A misogynist anti-Semite, that’s who, but I’m sure that’s not the case here, unless some poor kid’s high school guidance counselor has a twisted sense of humor/lesson teaching. And fun fact, I’m from the great red state of Kansas, a.k.a. the heartland’s heartland, or as our mailing addresses read, the real America. Born and raised in the state where the repeated reelection of Senators Roberts and Brownback would seem to contradict Darwinian natural selection, I embody the traditional family values that your fine publication lacks. Admittedly, I defected from the Great Plains to come to Brandeis where my lot in life is to bear politely, and ad nauseam, every dim-witted coastal’s variation on the “Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore” theme but whatevs. I’m over it. Besides, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time at Brandeis, it’s that you shouldn’t mess with people from New Jersey. Best regards, (Clever Pseudonym)
Where is the best place to spend a semester abroad?
Gemini: May 22 - June 21 - You will make the last humorous reference to “I’m on a Boat.” Then, it will all be over. Cancer: June 22 - July 22 You will read a startlingly accurate and concise prediction of your behavior in a humor newspaper, and then go insane from trying to understand the wickedly twisted logic of such a prediction.
“How ‘bout Afghanistan?” -Barack Obama
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” - Carmen Sandiego
Leo: July 23 - August 23 - Hit him again. Just do it. You’ll feel better and there’s not way he’s breaking out of those ropes.
“Go to Israel, meet a nice Jewish girl. Or a mean Jewish girl. You’re not getting any younger.” - Your Grandmother
Virgo: August 24 - September 23 - You will have a strange urge to re-watch the entire series of Samurai Jack. See? Told you. Libra: September 24 - October 23 - It turns out hitting a child with Sock-em Boppers is just as illegal, but three times as funny. Scorpio: October 24 - November 22 - You will cure cancer, create world peace, stop global warming, and become the Supreme Leader of the Great and Bountiful Human Empire. Then you’ll wake up, get some coffee, and head to class. And then you’ll be hit by a bus. Sagittarius: November 23 December 21 - Turns out you can always get what you want. Unfortunately, due to an ancient curse, you never get what you need. Capricorn: December 22 January 19 - After much trial and error, you will discover why bestiality laws don’t need to cover porcupines.
“West.” - Young Man
“Anything to get me the fuck off Tatooine.” - Luke Skywalker
“I wish you assholes would just stay home.” - J. Scott Van Der Meid
DO YOU OFTEN FIND YOURSELF PONDERING THE MEANING OF LIFE?
Alex Norris Daniel Orkin Judah Druck (AWOL)
Jesse Appell Allison Maresca Jackie Fienberg Ben Swartz Yael Katzwer Jaclyn Weinstein Simon Cramer Daniel Tassone Stacy Handler
Gordy Stillman Jonathan Surette Paul Gale
YO, GET THIS: The Blowfish is not a real newspaper, and as such contains completely fictional articles. No articles or quotes are truthful by any means and should not be conceived as such. All photos courtesy of the Internet (public domain) and staff.
Come to The Blowfish Recruitment meeting to get your answer! Tuesday, January 26 at 7 PM! BMC, 3rd Floor Shapiro Campus Center! Writers, editors, photoshoppers...all are welcome!
NEWS- PAGE 3
Study abroad mad libs We at the Blowfish know that writing study abroad applications can be difficult, especially if you don’t want to end up sounding like a cliché: A broken record, if you will. That’s why we’ve created this handy-dandy template for you to write the best, most original, most out-there, guaranteed-to-succeed application essay ever. So let your over-stimulated, over-stressed, under-sexed and over-medicated brain relax, and leave the heavy lifting to us. Go ahead, try it -would we let you down?
I want to study in _______________ (name of country) in order to ____________ (verb). I think that this would be a ____________ (adjective) experience for both my _________ (mental attribute) and ___________ (physical attribute) development. I greatly want to improve my ___________ (language besides Klingon) skills and think that this would be a perfect opportunity. While abroad, I plan on taking classes in _____________(subject), ___________ (swear word), ______________, (verb ending in -ing) and ____________ (swear word ending in -ing). I think that living in another country would greatly expand my _________ (body part) and broaden my ___________ (noun) and do wonders for my __________ (noun) life. I imagine that being abroad will be scary at first and I know that I will have to push myself to be more ____________ (personality trait). I want to meet __________ (suggestive adjective) people and be __________ (adjective) to trying new things. Of course, it would be nice to take advantage of being in _________ (continent) and travel. I’ve always wanted to see the _________ (location known for Spring Break) and the __________ (location known for rare alcohol), and I hear that the French fries at the ___________ (place without McDonald’s) McDonald’s are the best! Not only will this sort of international experience give me more confidence to wear _______________ (type of clothing you would never wear) and be more independent, but practically speaking, it will really give me an advantage on the ____________ (type of market but please avoid using the word slave) market after college.
BTV Attempts to Sign Conan O’Brian BY SAGE AMBROSE Vampire Slayer
In an attempt to take advantage of the ongoing controversy disputes between late-night funny man Conan O’Brien and NBC, Brandeis’ BTV recently announced their intention to sign Mr. O’Brein to host a show on their network. This bold move by the Brandeis television station will hopefully bolster a late-night lineup that for years has mostly been devoid of comedy, celebrities, and any sort of clear picture whatsoever. BTV hopes that Conan’s show can fit comfortably into the 11:30 Brandeis time slot which will be followed by 5 hours of static and a new show, Static: Behind the Scenes. Industry analysts, however, remain skeptical of the leadins to O’Brein’s show which will consist entirely of a Microsoft Windows symbol bouncing around the screen. While viewership for this show has remained at a steady three people for awhile now, most experts have concluded that the 18-35 demographic, as well as the sane-individual demographic, would not be interested in the continuation of the program. BTV leadership has been asking the student body to help create a strong late-night lineup and is already set to launch a number of new shows including It’s Always Slightly Cloudy in Waltham and Hogan, a look at the life of Student Body President Andy “Hulk” Hogan which is a lot like Seinfeld but not enough to present any sort of legal hurdle. While students remained optimistic about the potential for real TV at Brandeis, a number of professors warned that such optimism has lead to bitter disappointment. “I remember a few years back we tried bringing in Bill Maher, but he ended up smoking away all of the campus’ pot reserves. We also thought about bringing in Carson Daly,
but we figured our frats provide all the douchebagery material and will seek legal action should O’Brien decide this campus needs.” Also, never to be forgotten was the to use it in this or any future monologue. Tim Burton-directed two minute animated tour around campus, in which a freshman with a large head and tiny eyes wearing a Brandeis hoodie gets struck by lighting atop the castle and dies. O’Brien toured the campus last week to see if the Brandeis lifestyle would provide him with enough humor to fill an hour long show every weeknight. After a lengthy meeting with his writing staff, he emerged with a monologue that poked fun at the role of Judaism on campus, the number of buildings that are named after Carl J. Shapiro, and the poor quality of food that is served at Sherman. Unfortunately for O’Brien, The Blowfish has alSeen here shooting the pilot of his new show on BTV, O’Brian interviews one ready copyrighted this of Brandeis’ most famous faces: Ollie the Owl.
Mid-FEAR 2010: THEY’RE COMING HERE BY PARKER PETERSON First time caller
Jehuda Reinharz, soon-to-be erstwhile President and frequent vagrant, describes them as “the biggest threat to this campus since the bacon cheeseburger.” Student Union President Andy Hogan describes them as “a road bump on our path to an otherwise bright
Members of the new midyear class leaving an orientation activity.
future.” By the time you read this, for better or for worse, the midyear class will already be on campus. It is possible that you are using this newspaper to hide your face so as to avoid being too obvious a target. Or perhaps you are even now pausing to read this article as you frantically use campus publications to insulate your makeshift panic room. We can’t predict the future. We can tell you how the campus has been working to protect itself against this new threat. Early in winter break, the University recognized serious short-comings in the campus security system and elected to hire a security adviser that was recommended to them by the owner of their laundromat, Mr. Lee. The new consultant, Colonel Hannibal Smith, has said that he will do everything in his power to keep Brandeis safe: “The midyear class is an obvious threat, as it is the second largest wave of campus immigration. We don’t know where these people are coming from, or what designs they have on Brandeis,” intoned Colonel Smith. “The good news is there are several avenues already in place to protect our security in this trying time.” Although from here Colonel Smith explained his intention to “rock down” to “Electric Avenue,” we assume he meant the traditional security measures Brandeis has taken against the midyear class. Identification has always been an important counter-midyear strategy for Brandeis. They are assigned name tags which they are encouraged to wear for the first week or so, so the rest of the campus has a chance to identify them. From there, students are usually able to identify them by smell, “the shifty look in their eyes” (according to Women and Gender Studies major and Vietnam veteran Eli Standish ‘12), a lack of a reflection, or occasionally by taste, although students are discouraged to get that close to any potential midyear. While midyears are usually quarantined in their own building, where the more enterprising among them are quick to set up their own shops, restaurants, and movie theaters, this year’s housing in the Village has made geographic identification even more difficult. Typical midyear housing areas can also become centers of poverty forcing many disaffected young midyears join extremist groups, such as Bollywood Club or Brandeis Republicans. It seems possible that this year’s housing scheme will throw off the entire Village sector causing major problems for all the Villege People. Yes, even in the Indian. The University has issued a bulletin to all campus publications to publish regarding safe procedures in dealing with midyears. We don’t have the space to reprint it in full, so we’ll summarize: Don’t feed them after midnight and if we all agree not to tell them how to get to their classes, maybe they’ll go away.
PAGE 4- P.S. 1
33 37 41 48
104 105 106
107 110 111 112
Leading Celebrities ....walk softly with your Candle in the Wind says Teddy RoosevElton John Across Clues 1. (null) 4. Ultimate degree 7. Puerto Rico airport 10. U.S public health agcy. 13. Old printer interface 17. Wrath 18. “Eureka!” 19. Suffix with ether 20. Start of Popeye’s credo 22. Brandeis male frisbee team 23. Golf gadget 24. Alfred E. Neuman’s magazine 25. Bus. name ending 26. Salinger girl 27. Varsity veteran 28. “Old Hickory” sploch painter 33. Pie ____ mode 34. Biblical mountain 35. Unbeatable foes 36. Harden 37. The size of ____ (tiny) 39. Like Ninja Turtles 41. “The buck stops here” for true crime novelist 48. Board member
108. “Father of Civil Service” who wrote “2001: A Space Oddessy” 114. Noodle 115. (null) 116. Energy cooperation org. 117. Vichy water 118. A descendant of Benjamin 119. Major steel company 120. Comedian Foxx 121. B’____ B’rith 122. Nincompoop 123. Zilch 124. “Why should ____ you?” 125. Mandela’s nat. 126. Their hub is DFW 127. Eminem’s genre 128. Conger
51. “____ Were the Days” 52. Tibet’s capital 53. Jollies 54. Ballpark fig. 55. He, in Rio 56. Spelling contest 58. Black goo 59. Walked 61. Headless, in hearldry 64. Foreman 67. Founding father who played Mr. Deeds 71. Banked 74. Desert havens 75. Porn site section 79. JFK watchdog 80. Ram’s mate 81. Eur. sea 82. Skid row woe 85. Nabakov novel 86. Senator Hatch 88. Movie set light: Var. 90. Starr report subject 92. “Old Rough and Ready” gets interupted by Kanye 97. Camden Yards team 98. Burmese peace nobelist, ____ San Suu Kyi 99. Bldg. material 102. Like 11 on an amp 104. Soothsayer 107. Bullring cheer
60. Easter Tunisian airport abbr. 62. Mai ____ 63. D.C. Summer hrs. 64. Western treaty grp. 65. Barn capper 66. Period 68. Guests may be greeted with them 69. By what means 70. Jay Nicholas ____ from “Project Runway” 71. “The Wizard ____” 72. Japan’s first capital 73. Jeanne ____ 76. “Illmatic” rapper 77. Summer cooler 78. Negligent 81. Milano of “Charmed” 83. H.S. math course 84. Abbr. in the personals 87. “Heaven forfend!” 88. Actor Hakeem ____-Kazim of “Hotel Rwanda” 89. “Just for Men” target 91. Maj.’s superior 93. Water cannon target 94. Alpine vocalist 95. Improved error handling prdct. for Western Digital 96. “Star Trek” navigator 100. “Seinfeld” role 101. Classic cartoons, ____ Melodies 102. Immune system component 103. Chicago airport 105. Skater Slutskaya 106. Bench warmers 109. Verdi opera 110. Back 111. Hombre’s home 112. Pointed end 113. Murder 114. (null)
1. Comic Rudner 2. Sports venue 3. Eye site 4. Dub 5. Melt 6. Muslim pilgrimage 7. Shore 8. Start forward suddenly 9. Suffix with cell 10. Juan’s hundred 11. Breathing trouble 12. 1980 Olympic skier Hans disguised in combat 13. Eastern terminus of the Pony Express 14. Singer Jim 15. Boxes 16. Squid’s squirt 21. Alf’s planet 29. In Jabberwocky, they outgrabe 30. “With ____, and a ho... Soulutions to “Winter Wonderland” 31. Dense 32. Court jargon F A M E OWE B I G R A L 37. War god E M I L L E S B E T A A C I 38. Sham T O N I A L C E T S Y D I E 40. Scottish uncle S N OW F L A K E S O F D A N D 42. Consumed E T H D R I P I R R I T A A S E L O G E C A S R O 43. Iota preceder S N OWM A N O F T H E H O U R 44. Good example 45. Suffix for compounds A N T I M E T E U R M S E C P E A N A P C B A N D O formed from carboxylic GWO B E E K U N M U S acids S N OWA N G E L F O O D C A 46. Romanov ruler C H O U E N L A I E L Y S E S 47. Corn units R O O T B E E R S H A S I T T E R E R M E I T U O 48. 1 yd. S N OWB A L L A N D C 49. Capek play A G I S M WE E D A L L A H 50. Family card game R E L O C A T E D L I M A A 56. Hits the sack S N OWB O A R D O F E D U C A T 57. Schubert’s “The ____ I O I E R R I R O N D I L King” N A L A T A N E R D I N A E N O
L A S
G O T
C G I
S C R R U A B N S
L I K E H U H D I A L S
B U F F E T
R S I E E R C A L E T E A R S O P E N
Shapiro Family Donates Microwave
Plans to change name to Carl J. Shapiro Center for Foodaic Studies BY KEVIN FERNPATRICK
line behind that girl from biolab who needs to have Pixie Tickler This past Monday, Carl J. Shapiro arrived on campus her baked ziti evenly warmed even if it takes four to unveil his newest contribution to the Brandeis com- different microwaving segments. I hope she dies.” munity: a microwave located in upper Usdan. Respond- This wish may well be granted if she is at all like ing to a widespread community outcry over the lack of a the 15% of students who contract cahlora from the microwave or even just a few microwaves in the cafete- C-Store microwave. ria’s upper portion, the Shapiro family foundation was Others are less enthralled about the new applipleased to put forth the funds required to purchase this ance explaining that the microwave is just another integral educational item. “Back in my day, you young diversion of funds to broaden an already overblown cockamamy fuzzrascallies ate dingdangdilly wollygag sense of self-importance with an utterly useless with strictly kosher lickpacks! addition to campus. As one Consarn it!” said Shapiro while “The Usdan staff expects to plug such critic, Samuel Hopkish cutting the ceremonious ribbon the machine in sometime before ‘10, explained, “This is just his staff had set up in front of the the end of the semester.” one more Shapiro-named new addition. object on campus made to The Shapiro family recently took confuse people. Just last night, a massive financial hit as a result of Carl J’s penchant for I ordered pizza in the campus center and then had good booze, bad women, and grotesque buildings. While to walk over to Usdan where the guy had delivered unable to make donations on the same scale as previous it to the microwave. The pizza was cold when I got years, the family was happy to contribute what it could. there, so at least then it came in handy. But how As dining representative Jaleel White offered, “Seeing many misdelivered food orders is it going to take to them donate as much as they can afford certainly warms put the students’ welfare over Carl Shapiro’s ego?” the hearts – and the food – of the late-night Brandeis According to an administration source who wished stoner contingency.” to remain anonymous, the answer is “A lot.” Students, like Jeff Grizansky ‘11, showed support for Usdan staff expects to plug the machine in somethe microwave as well. “Finally, I won’t have to wait in time before the end of the semester.
T R I F L E
The new Carl Shapiro Microwave supported by columns from the collection of the Rose Art Museum.
M L I I
L E N A
N O S N E OW