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Volume 3, Issue 5 | 10/27/11 - 11/08/11 | theblacksheeponline.com

What Your Halloween Costume Says About You

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Black Sheep

“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College” Andrea Walker wrote this As college students we’ve all put more thought into wondering what we will be for Halloween than we have our midterms. You definitely want to get laid, but you don’t want to look like you’re the creep or the slut that’s trying too hard to get some. You’re seeking a stylish way to attempt avoiding frostbite, but you’ve worked out enough that you want to show some skin. I’ve always been told that who you hang out with says a lot about what type of person you are, but I’ve also been told you are what you wear. Well, they’re both true, you must choose your Halloween costume very wisely people, lest ye be judged. I’ve conducted in-depth research to discover the personality traits inherent in the owners of specific costumes: Color-Coordinated Underwear and Animal Ears: I have no imagination whatsoever, but I do have a big rack. Look at me, look at me! Sexy Nerd Costume for Women: I’m setting myself apart from the animal-eared girls by making fun of them. I’m totally not doing the same thing by trying to be a sexualized version of what I think men are into.

Other stuff

Inside

Cheap Beer or Beer Pong Table Costume: The best year of my life was spent in the Valleys. This one time I totally skunked these bros in pong and they had to streak. Totally hilarious, dude. Guinness Bottle: I’m classier than the cheap beer guys, which is why I bought the same costume with a different label. I don’t know what you’ll notice first when I walk in, my top hitting the doorframe or my 30-rack of Natty Ice. Inflatable Costume: I didn’t think about how I’m going to go to the bathroom when I bought this, but I’ve played a lot of Edward Forty-hands so I’m sure I can be resourceful. Guy Dressed Like a Hipster to Make Fun of Hipsters: I don’t listen to Animal Collective because it’s too hip. I listen to other stuff, but you’ve probably never heard of it... Cosplay: I can’t afford Comicon. Would you like to talk to my body pillow?

04: Top 10 Perks to Halloween Weekend.

Super Hero: I’m “immune” to everything tonight; liquor, punches, you name it. You’ll probably have to push my bruised body off of the toilet bowl. You’ll have trouble giving the EMT my name seeing as I’ve been hiding my “secret identity” all night. Couples Costume: We feel compelled to shove our happiness in your face. If anyone of the opposite sex talks to either of us, prepare to be missing part of an ear Mike Tyson style! Any Costume that Alludes to Genitalia: I often lie awake alone at night wondering why my parents are so disappointed in me. I mean, I make good life decisions. Like, no one else in this room is dressed like a vagina, so I’m totally unique. Get it? Got it? Good. Whatever you decide to be, have fun and be safe, Kalamazoo! As for the flesh you see ambling around, don’t waste time asking if they are cold. They’ve been pre-gaming all day and are clothed in a cloak of invisible Burnett’s.

07: Ladies, Please Don’t Bring Sexy Back What do you mean “Sexy Pedophile” isn’t a legitimate Halloween costume?

13: the Morning After Halloween Just because the tricks and treats are over, doesn’t mean the fun and games are.


02

Meet The Staff!

Table of

contents

Managing Editor Dana Borzea

Distribution Manager Chase Olender

Advertising Manager David Zolp

pr team David Zolp

Contributing Writers Vanessa Leiner Kyle Kivett Kelly Weatherwax Mike O. Katie Batt Hannah Weyer Kristina Sablatzky Matt Sutor Eddie Felson

campus director Brendan Bonham Founders Atish Doshi Brendan Bonham Questions?

P4: The Guide to a Halloween You’ll Never Remember A step-by-step guide that (probably) guarantees you won’t wake up covered in vomit. P05: How to Deal With the Nagging Suspicion That None of This MattersWe believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your chonson. . P8-11: the bar grid See where you can cash in on your awesome outfit, and then spend that cash wisely on cheap drinks!

P12: Movie Review Paranormal Activity 3- It’s like voyeur porn for the masochistic. P14: Bartender of the issue We’re going to call her Clairey Beary Scary. P14: drinking game—teeth Nothing like a movie about killer vaginas to get the drinking going! P15: halloween bingo! Spot them all and win a prize! P16: The word search It's pretty tricky, can you do it?

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Definition: The strategic mapping of local pubs, dives, cantinas, clubs and watering holes that allows for maximum drinking during a bar crawl. Sentence: “Steve’s bartography skills ensured that the entire sweatpants barcrawl was sufficiently shitfaced by midnight.”

"


04

THe top ten Perks to Halloween Weekend 10) You can eat again For those of you that have been starving yourself or religiously going to the gym in order to fit into that skimpy Halloween costume, relax because it’s all over now. You looked good in your costume and proved to everyone that you stay in shape after summer. Plus, Thanksgiving is right around the block so you’ll be getting fat soon anyway. Enjoy! 9) Everyone is horny on Halloween Everyone is especially horny on Halloween. It must be the idea of hooking up dressed as someone else, but the student population is totally down to fuck. Feel free to use this opportunity to check something specific off of your sexual todo list. Pink Power Ranger? Yes please. 8) Date night is made easy with a scary movie For those of you with responsibilities, you may not be able to go out and get drunk every night during Halloween weekend. Have no fear, because there’s always a scary movie released at this time of the year that makes for a perfect (and sober) date. This year Paranormal Activity 3 seems to be the fright flick everyone wants to see.

The Guide to a halloween you'll never remember Vanessa Leiner wrote this Every year students start preparing for Halloween weeks in advance. Anyone who has ever witnessed Halloween at WMU knows that there's no passing out of candy or bobbing for apples (unless they are infused with liquor). Instead, you will feast your eyes on costumes of all different shirt lengths and sword sizes (no pun intended). Even if you do hear the screams of “trick-or-treat” coming from the drunkies walking down West Michigan Avenue, don’t be confused. They’re not in search of a Snickers or peanut butter cups, even though most college kids would never turn one down. These kids are in search of the best Halloween ever, and not even five-inch stilettos or trying to breathe through one of those scary rubber masks will stop them. So here it is. Years of being a Halloween junkie put into one list of the do’s and don’ts in order to make this Halloween the best thing you hopefully won’t remember.

we’re not starring at every imperfection you think you have. Guys, we will flirt with you all the same wither you can bench press 300 lbs or 250 lbs. We’re all going to freeze our asses off anyways so a little extra junk in the trunk won’t hurt anyone. Sip, don’t chug. I’m serious about this one. We all want to get a good buzz going early but when you’re wasted at 9:00 p.m. good luck getting your friends to hold your hair back that early in the night. While it is hilarious to watch a guy dressed up as a pimp wasted on the floor, it will not get you any numbers that night. There is nothing worse than seeing a girl have an accidental Janet Jackson moment while dressed up as a nun. Instead of chugging as many Four Lokos as you can before you leave your apartment don’t be ashamed to take a water bottle or two out and pace yourself.

“girls don't want some creepy drunk in a Leave the pick-up lines at home. No what you do or how drunk you are giant hotdog costume matter never try using one of those cheesy picklines like “Hey beautiful, do you want hitting on them." upto come home with me? You never know

Dress up, people. I know I’m stating the obvious here, but seriously how can you resist the temptation of getting to dress up, go out and not be judged? You don’t want to be the token kid who’s in jeans and a “this is my Halloween costume” t-shirt in a room full of pirates and celebrities. You can make a costume out of practically anything in your closet, so put a little effort into it. Ladies, this holiday is the one where girls can dress up slutty and not get shit for it, so use it to your full potential!

Be creative. If I see one more slutty devil or police officer I’m going to throw myself over a bridge. Come on, I know our brain juices are all dried up from midterms,but we can manage to squeeze out a little bit more for the sake of a holiday. Watch TV, search the web or browse the overpriced costume stores to get the juices flowing. Don’t sink yourself to the level of being a Playboy bunny…again. Feed your appetite for attention with being original and you’ll create just as much buzz as Long Island Ice Tea. Don’t starve yourself to fit into your corset or loincloth. I know everyone’s been hitting up the gym hardcore in anticipation of Halloween, but don’t sweat it. I guarantee you’ll look fabulous in whatever costume you choose without having to give up October Monopoly month at McDonalds. Girls,

what I might turn into at midnight.” Gag. Guys I know you are busy drooling over the cheerleaders and cat women but think with your head not your…you know. Girls don’t want some creepy drunk kid in a giant hotdog costume coming up and hitting on them. End your night with some candy corn and Tylenol. We all know Halloween isn’t really an occasion where college kids are going to take it easy, especially at WMU. If everyone doesn’t send a drunken text to an ex or think you can pull off the Jersey turnpike on the dance floor at least once this weekend then you might as well go home. But for those of you who need to come back down to earth before trying to hit the hay finish with a little food in your belly and at least 2 Tylenol to help with the pain the next day.

We all know Halloween is not just celebrated on October 31st. You can’t bitch out Thursday night, keep the momentum going all weekend long and you’ll be talking about Halloween 2011 for weeks, or at least wondering what the hell happened.

7) The bars are packed A few weekends ago, I went downtown on a Saturday night expecting a fun night out. Usually I head to The Library (the fun one) on Saturdays, but thought I’d switch it up a bit. Imagine how pissed I was when I found every place downtown to be completely dead. Not this weekend though! Every bar from downtown to campus will be packed with people ready to get rowdy as hell. 6) Names aren’t necessary when hooking up Isn’t it embarrassing when you can’t remember the person’s name that you just hooked up with? Well, relax because this weekend you don’t need to worry about little details like that. During the Halloween weekend everyone is in disguise, so it’s not your fault if you don’t recognize that person on Monday. 5) There is candy everywhere During the month of October—and especially during Halloween weekend—everyone is giving out candy left and right. Whether at your apartment clubhouse or just a store, you can usually find a big bowl of candy sitting at the front desk. Word to the wise: if you take just one piece you’re going to want more. Go ahead and take a handful, no one is judging. 4) New Facebook picture by Monday Do you still have a picture of you from summer as your profile pictire? This is your time to get a new profile picture to prove just how fun you really are. Whether it’s a party shot or just a picture of you solo in your sick costume, make it a good one because this will probably last until the next big event in your life. 3) You can wear the same outfit all weekend This one goes out especially to the girls and the gays. The weekends are a time to change out of our scrubs and show people how cute we can look. Well, save that new shirt for another weekend because during Halloween we can get away with wearing the same thing a few nights in a row. 2) Costumes + fake ID = entry into bars For all of you minors out there, getting into a bar with a fake can be an issue. It’s like a game of Russian Roulette – you never know what the outcome will be. On Halloween, however, your chances are at an all-time high. If your ID is barely passable, paint your face so that you’re unrecognizable. I’ll see you at the bars! 1) You can get drunk without feeling guilty Because it’s the middle of the semester, many of us have been slaving away for hours on end doing schoolwork. Well, this weekend we’re all giving school the big middle finger and getting hammered because it’s our right as college students. Don’t check your email and definitely don’t respond to that annoying person from class - just get shit-faced.

Kyle Kivett wrote this


05

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How to deal with the nagging suspicion that none of this matters Sock Yamaka wrote this One of the best things about college is it opens you up to new ideas. But one of the worst things about college is it opens you up to new ideas. “But Sock,” you’ll say if you’re a whiny little bitch, “new ideas are good! I know because you told me so not two seconds ago!” Well, Bitch (if that IS your real name,) I wasn’t wrong. New ideas in supple young college minds have the potential to change the world of medicine, philosophy, physics and a whole crap load of sciences. But does it really even matter? One of the ideas that every college student will be exposed to at some point is nihilism, if not by depressed divorced professors, then here. Nihilism is the idea that everything dies and nothing matters. It can cause depression, night terrors, changes in appetite, lethargy, apathy, dry mouth and long walks in the rain arranged to soft rock ballads. Nihilism is highly contagious; so if you see a nihilist, DO NOT APPROACH. There is no vaccination against the vast emptiness of the universe, but there are several in-home remedies the nihilist can try to soothe the soul after painful introspection. Religion: Religion is the world’s oldest profession. That’s right. For the proper price, religion will give you exactly what you need, even if you feel dirty afterwards. Worried that death is empty oblivion? Boom. Heaven and Hell. Concerned that nothing you do matters? Bam. God is watching everything you do. Wondering if there really is a right or wrong in a shades-of-gray world? Kapow. Ten Commandments. For a modest monthly fee to your church of choice, organized religion will dress up all nice for you and make you feel special for an hour or so before you are consumed with guilt over your sins and drown the guilt in more sinning. Create: One of the ways people often deal with persistent nihilism is through becoming starving artists. Maybe every person you ever meet will die and their progeny will forget they ever existed the way you don’t know your great-great-great-great grandfather’s name, but if you can create something the world marvels at, your name will be as immortal as da Vinci or Renoir or that guy who did the urinal thing. If you paint something beautiful or write something magnificent or compose something marvelous, you will live long past death. Seriously. A perfect limerick is like giving the finger to the Grim Reaper. Comedy: There are some things that are so meaningfully meaningless that it makes us forget that

the sun will die one day and everything the human race is or ever was will be forgotten. And that makes us happy for a little while. That’s a lot of what comedy is: making you forget that your great grandchildren will die one day. Recommended dosage for the small to moderate case of nihilism is two episodes of South Park at night and theblacksheeponline.com in the morning for as long as the problem persists. (NOTE: If you don’t like South Park, it is too late for you. You’re already dead inside.) Earthly Delights: Sometimes transcendent methods of treating nihilism (such as the idea that God has a plan for you and knock-knock jokes) are not enough to beat it. When you’ve tried everything else, there remain only earthly delights. Eat an entire chocolate cake. Drink an entire fifth of tequila. Bang an entire sorority. Maybe orgasm or intoxication will make you realize that everything in life is beautiful and maybe everything’s going to be okay after all. Again, nihilism is highly contagious. If you see a nihilist, take steps to protect yourself: DON’T approach directly. DON’T engage them in a light conversation about the weather. DON’T try to hug them. DO allow them to pet your dog. DO throw a Koran at their head. DO tell them a fantastic joke from a distance. Under NO circumstance allow them to open their mouth- nihilism is transmitted through verbal exchange, and exposure can cause the weepies, the fetal position and obsession with Bright Eyes.


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SHOUT OUTS! To our friends next to the bars, we really appreciate you letting us party in your house while you went to the bars. Sorry for getting you a disorderly ticket. sincerely, your freshmen friends Jack, dining and dashing is so high school. You owe me $16.... Travis To the receiver of my possum last week. It wasnt dead when i threw it. No idea what happened. Good luck with the live racoon. To the weirdo who writes "April Fools" in dog shit on the sidewalk, I may of shit on my shoes, but you have shit on your hands. April Fools. Sincerely, Normal Person To Maggie, is this the year we pull the costume switch/ boyfriend switch? I think so...get excited! -Steph Dear freshmen, when preparing for Halloween, please remember to ask yourself, "Can this outfit be any sluttier?" The answer should always, and will always, be yes. Welcome to college! Megs, thanks for the best 21st EVER. Nothing beats wearing a crown while hugging a toilet... just don't share those pics! Steve, please don't dress like cock and balls again. Getting lame...love everyone you know. SEND INYOUR BEST SHOUT OUT TO SHOUT@theblacksheeponline.com or upload them at theblacksheeponline.com


ladies, please don't bring sexy back Cody Kimball wrote this Ahh yes, it's Halloween here at Western, and you know what that means! Instead of adorable trick-or-treaters running around subdivisions on the hunt for candy, the area will be swarmed with slutty wenches on the hunt for attention. So, the only real difference is, these wenches are wearing a set of cat ears. You're sure to see plenty of costumes, ranging from the sexy to the downright inappropriate. What constitutes “inappropriate”? Let's play a game “which of these does not belong?” Sexy witch. Sexy school girl. Sexy devil. Sexy maid. Sexy Big Bird. Got it? For a long time women’s costumes have been making the impossible attractive, but people, there are some damn lines here. Let's take a look at some of the most disturbing attire for this year’s festivities. Sexy Big Bird / Cookie Monster If you're a girl looking for attention, congratulations, you have it. And none of it is good. No guy is going to lust after the anthropomorphic puppet that taught him how to count when he was two. If they do, then you’ve attracted the attention of a furry momma’s boy. Good job, prepare to get yiffed. Spongebob This has just all kinds of bad connotations attached to it. You have decided to take a male cartoon character and form fit his body over your breasts. What’s even worse is that his umm “eyes” are staring at me. This is a gender-bender nobody should go on. Not to mention he’s also soft and full of holes. Fill in the blanks ladies. Stay away. Frankenberry I shit you not, this exists. That creepy-ass cereal box Frankenstein monster is available for women, likely based on the fact that he is, in fact, pink. I may understand that if you're going as a cereal trio group or

something like that, but there are so many other options. Plus, you know as well as I do that you will be solicited by some guy with a “got milk” shirt faster than you can say “Count Chocula”. “Naughty Nem-Oh” An outfit based off of the little kid clownfish Nemo from the Disney movie. Really? Naughty Hit Girl The little girl from Kick-Ass. Available for adult women. Somebody call CPS. “Bun in the Oven” This is a costume which is literally a pregnancy joke. You wear a giant cloth oven that has a window with fake bread baking behind it. I hope not to see any dorm-dwellers wearing these (especially if they ARE pregnant). If you have the guts to wear this costume you’re just asking for karma to stop by and drop a big dump on your life. Sexy Robin Yeah, there is a line here, and we've clearly crossed it. Robin should never, ever, ever, be something that can make a man's pants suddenly shorter. And that is the problem, that unlike the others, this costume really is hot. And that is messed up. Robin is a teenage boy with confidence issues, who hangs out in tights with a rich guy who dresses as a bat. There are enough disturbing sexual jokes about this situation already, and now you've gone and given him tits. Thanks for making me look at my classic comic books in a totally different light. That’s it for appalling costumes for the ladies. And one more thing: Guys, if I see any 7-foot walking penises that think they are clever, I hope you get kicked in the metaphorical feet.


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The Bar Grid SPECIAL NIGHT

DOWNLOAD our Android App! (Apple coming soon) NEW Food Menu! RED ALERT! $3 Miller Lite and Molson Mugs for ALL Red Wing games!

THURS, 10/27

Nightmare On Well Drinks! $3 Wells 9-1am $2.50 Miller Lite Bottles $3 SoCo Limes

MONDAY: Halloween Party Cash Prize to Best Costume $0.50 Drafts Progressive Wells from 8-12 Starting at $1.50 $1 Rolling Rock Cans Starting at Midnight

$1 PBR Pints ($2 in your mug if you're a mug club member) for all Detroit HOME games! $2.50 Tall Boys for ALL Detroit games (Miller Lt., Bud & Bud Lt., & PBR) STUDY HALL Daily 3-6 $1 PBR, $2.50 Well & Call Drinks New Fall 2011 TAPAS Menu: Everything $3 or Less!

Pitcher Night $6.25+ Mixed Drink Pitchers $5.50 Domestic Beer Pitchers $2 Waldo's Shots (bartenders choice) $1 Burgers

FRI, 10/28

$1 Rolling Rock Pints $4 Long Island/Beach $3 Washington Apple Shots

$1 Domestic Drafts $2 House Shots

Lucas Peterson from 9pm-1am All Day Happy Hour (12PM - Close) $2.50 Wells and Calls $4.95 All You Can Eat Pizza (12PM - 3PM)

SAT, 10/29

$2.50 U CALL IT (3PM-1AM) Pizza, 2 Salads, 2 Pints for $20!

Halloween Party & Costume Contest w/ DJs N9ne and NT $200 for 1st, $100 for 2nd ½ Off All food and Drinks Noon-Midnight

Combat Corduroy from 4pm-8pm $4 All Bombs $4 Shot AND a Beer (well shot & domestic bottle) $10 Pizza AND Beer (large 1 topping & domestic pitcher) $1 Off All Bottles (6PM - Close)

SUN, 10/30

3rd Annual Devils Night Party 2 Puerto Vallarta Spring Break Trip Giveaways! $3 U-Call It 9-1am $5 Domestic Pitchers $7 Bells and Blue Moon Pitchers (3PM-1AM)

$3 Bloody Marys $2 Domestic 22oz Drafts $2 House Shots

Open for special events only. Call to find out what counts!

Halloween Party Cash Prize to Best Costume $0.50 Drafts

$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island, Long Beach, Blue Island

$2 Tuesday $2 Domestic Drafts, Wells, House Shots $2 Off Burgers Live Music featuring Tim Pallin and Jeremy Sprague

“W” Club night (3PM - Close) Members Only, Ask About Joining! $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings TEAM TRIVIA 8pm PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup, $1 Off Bottles, $5 Wings

$2.50 22oz Miller Lite $2.75 Wells, $2 House Shots $1 Tacos & Karaoke Bags Tournament w/ Ca$h Prize

Beer Tasting 8-10pm: 5 Different Beers and Food to Match! Waldo's Vodka Night (6-Close) $3 Shots & Drinks, $5 Martinis 1/2 Off Food for WMU and K College STAFF FREE POOL | Starworld Dart League

$1 PBR Pints (Open-1am)

MON, 10/31 TUES, 11/01

$2 Domestic Bottles $3 Managers Choice Shots (9pm-1am)

$3 ANYTHING! $0.45 Wings!

$3 Tall Miller Lite 8-1am

WED, 11/02

$3 ALL PINTS $3 Bacardi/Smirnoff Flavors 9-1am


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SATURDAY: Halloween Party $0.50 Drafts $1500 Best Costume Live Music feat. The Aviators

FRIDAY Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

SPECIAL NIGHT

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Canadian Nights $3 Labatt and Molson $6.50 Medium Pizza

Monster Thursday $3 Wells $3.50 Coronas 18+ Allowed!

Ladies Night! Happy Hour and Sushi Bar 6-9pm $5.99 Martinis (Open - 12) $3 U Call Its $6.75 Man-tinis

THURS, 10/27

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

Draft Night! $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leinie Pints $4.99 3 Shot Martinis Dance Club Open

Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

$1 All Domestic Pints $3 You-Call-It $6.75 Mantini's (Open to 12)

FRI, 10/28

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Halloween Party $0.50 Drafts $1500 Best Costume Live Music feat. The Aviators

Party Night! $3.50 Featured Domestic Bottles $4 Sex on the Beach

$.50 Rolling Rock Drafts $1.50 Well Drinks

SAT, 10/29

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

NFL Sunday Ticket $12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

Closed

1/2 Off ALL Food and Drink with WMU ID card or SIN card

SUN, 10/30

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs $3.75 Premium and Specialty Mugs 35 cent Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings NFL Package

Closed

$5 Man-Tini $5 1 Item Pizzas $3 Domestic Mugs

MON, 10/31

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off! $6.50 Medium Pizza

Closed

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

TUES, 11/01

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

College Night at Wayside $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Dance Club Open!

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$2 Drafts and Pints (Open - 12) $12 Martini Sampler

WED, 11/02


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The Bar Grid SPECIAL NIGHT

B.O.M. Molson Canadian $2.75 Pint $3.50 Mug $3 Modelo Bottles RED ALERT! $3 Miller Lite and Molson Mugs for ALL Red Wing games!

THURS, 11/03

$2.50 Miller Lite Bottles $2.50 Well $3 SoCo Limes

FRI, 11/04

$1 Rolling Rock Pints $4 Long Island/Beach $3 Washington Apple Shots

SAT, 11/05

$2.50 U CALL IT (3PM-1AM) Pizza, 2 Salads, 2 Pints for $20!

$2 Tuesday $2 Domestic Drafts, Wells, House Shots $2 Off Burgers Live Music featuring Tim Pallin and Jeremy Sprague

$1 PBR Pints ($2 in your mug if you're a mug club member) for all Detroit HOME games! $2.50 Tall Boys for ALL Detroit games (Miller Lt., Bud & Bud Lt., & PBR) STUDY HALL Daily 3-6 $1 PBR, $2.50 Well & Call Drinks New Fall 2011 TAPAS Menu: Everything $3 or Less!

Progressive Wells from 8-12 Starting at $1.50

Pitcher Night $6.25+ Mixed Drink Pitchers $5.50 Domestic Beer Pitchers $2 Waldo's Shots $1 Burgers

$1 Rolling Rock Cans Starting at Midnight

$1 Domestic Drafts $2 House Shots

½ Off All food and Drinks Noon-Midnight

All Day Happy Hour (12PM - Close) $2.50 Wells and Calls $4.95 All You Can Eat Pizza (12PM - 3PM) $4 All Bombs $4 Shot AND a Beer (well shot & domestic bottle) $10 Pizza AND Beer

(large 1 topping & domestic pitcher)

$1 Off All Bottles (6PM - Close)

SUN, 11/06

$3 Wells $5 Domestic Pitchers $7 Bells and Blue Moon Pitchers (3PM-1AM) Free Capone Sticks w/ Deep Dish Pizza

$1 PBR Pints (Open-1am)

MON, 11/07 TUES, 11/08

$2 Domestic Bottles $3 Managers Choice Shots (9pm-1am)

$3 ANYTHING! $0.45 Wings!

$3 Tall Miller Lite 8-1am

WED, 11/09

$3 ALL PINTS $3 Bacardi/Smirnoff Flavors 9-1am

$3 Bloody Marys $2 Domestic 22oz Drafts $2 House Shots

Open for special events only. Call to find out what counts!

$2.50 22oz Budweiser and Bud Light $2 House Shots

$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island, Long Beach, Blue Island

$2 Tuesday $2 Domestic Drafts, Wells, House Shots $2 Off Burgers Live Music featuring Tim Pallin and Jeremy Sprague

“W” Club night (3PM - Close) Members Only, Ask About Joining! $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings TEAM TRIVIA 8pm PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup, $1 Off Bottles, $5 Wings

$2.50 22oz Miller Lite $2.75 Wells, $2 House Shots $1 Tacos & Karaoke Bags Tournament w/ Ca$h Prize

Waldo's Vodka Night (6-Close) $3 Shots & Drinks $5 Martinis 1/2 Off Food for WMU and K College STAFF FREE POOL


The Bar Grid THURS/SAT: 9 to Close Half-Price Drinks EVERY NIGHT After 10pmReg Stix w/Dill $2.50, Chzy Stix w/dill $3.50

NFL Sunday Ticket $12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

FRIDAY Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

SPECIAL NIGHT

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Canadian Nights $3 Labatt and Molson $6.50 Medium Pizza

Monster Thursday $3 Wells $3.50 Coronas 18+ Allowed!

Ladies Night! Happy Hour and Sushi Bar 6-9pm $5.99 Martinis (Open - 12) $3 U Call Its $6.75 Man-tinis

THURS, 11/03

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

Draft Night! $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leinie Pints $4.99 3 Shot Martinis Dance Club Open

Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

$1 All Domestic Pints $3 You-Call-It $6.75 Martinis (Open to 12)

FRI, 11/04

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

ESPN College Football Package $2.50 Pints of Bud Light and Miller Lt. 12-8 $3 U Call Its 9-1am

Party Night! $3.50 Featured Domestic Bottles $4 Sex on the Beach

$.50 Rolling Rock Drafts $1.50 Well Drinks

SAT, 11/05

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

NFL Sunday Ticket $12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

Closed

1/2 Off ALL Food and Drink with WMU ID card or SIN card

SUN, 11/06

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs $3.75 Premium and Specialty Mugs 35 cent Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings NFL Package

Closed

$5 Man-Tini $5 1 Item Pizzas $3 Domestic Mugs

MON, 11/07

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off! $6.50 Medium Pizza

Closed

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

TUES, 11/08

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

Back to School Party! $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Dance Club Open!

Closed

$2 Drafts and Pints (Open - 12) $12 Martini Sampler

WED, 11/09


12

www.theblacksheeponline.com

the movie page Based on the Trailer

paranormal activity 3 John McCombs saw this and gave it a...

Director:

B

Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

In Time

Oct. 28

Starring: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried What You Need to Know: Sometime in the future, people only live until they are 25, and have to work to get more time. But can also die sooner for doing stupid things like drinking coffee and having sex. But can live longer by taking other people's lives. Umm, yeah. What We Think: We love Justin Timerlake, we are okay with Amanda Seyfried, and apparently Olivia Wilde is JT's mom...so, it should be awesome? For real, though, the plot is actually original which is a nice change of pace and the director was also behind Lord of War and Gattaca, so the cinematography should be pretty solid. Definitely a must-see.

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas

Nov. 4

Starring: Kal Penn, John Cho What You Need to Know: Due to some freak accident, Harold and Kumar manage to shoot Santa Claus in the face, and thus, discover that he is in fact real. Then, as per the first two Harold and Kumar movies, our favorite stoned, drunk partiers go on an assload of hilarious, nonsensical adventures, and even meet up with Neil Patrick Harris along the way. What We Think: What do you think we think? It's the must-see movie of the year! No, but really, has the combination of Harold, Kumar, and NPH ever let you down? We didn't think so...

Jack and Jill

Nov. 11

Starring: Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino What You Need to Know: Ugh, do we really need to tell you? Adam Sandler plays both a guy and girl character during his family's Thanksgiving dinner. Seriously. What We Think: Didn't Martin Lawrence do this movie? Or Tyler Perry? Or the Wayans' Brothers? God. This seems like the worst idea ever, and we have no idea how Katie Holmes or Al Pacino got roped into being a part of this. The only thing it actually has going for it are the number of random cameos that take place, including Shaq (clearly looking for something to do), Regis Philibin (come on, you're better than this), Dana Carvey (where have you been?), Tim Meadows (probably won a bet), and Natalie Gal/Yvette Rachelle (crazy hot ladies).

Starring:

Christopher Nicholas Smith and Katie Featherston

Synopsis:

This would be great if not for those damned prequ-sequels? Paranormal Activity 3 had a lot going for and against it. Being the third film in a series where the novelty of being shot documentary-style had already worn off, it was going to be a fight to keep the film feeling fresh (how many lost films can there be? It seems like people were constantly filming themselves getting murdered in the past two decades and whoever found it said, “Well, this can’t be interesting.”). However, this was no longer an indie project with a low budget and a limited release, so the director had a lot more resources. We still constantly get a pantsless female protagonist, though. At least she’s hotter than the actress in the first movie. First, the good. If you were afraid that the film was giving up too much in the previews and commercials then you have nothing to fear. I could swear they made two wholly separate films since ninety percent of the shit you saw in the trailers is nowhere to be found. The scares are still there and it actually manages to incorporate a few surprises as well. You’ll see some genius ways they make use of the limits of 1980s technology to frighten

on DVD

you. Though, I don’t think they had HD cameras back then. The film actually paces itself very well and manages to throw in a little humor to keep the audience entertained throughout. The humor is a welcome breath of fresh air to keep the constant sense of foreboding from becoming too overwhelming. Just wait until you see one of the main characters come close to crapping himself. With that said, we are also given a fairly likable cast this time around who would react similarly to how you would expect an actual family in the perpetual grasp of a demon to react (Hint: you get the fuck out of Dodge). The girls who play Katie and Kristi may be too young to get an Academy Award, but you definitely felt their fear was real and believable. One scene in particular stands out in my mind where one of the girls accidentally angers the ghost and you can feel the terror in the room right before she pays the price (Note: try your hardest not to piss off a servant of Satan). Now, the bad. One of the things that I

admired about the second film was its willingness to give the audience answers and offer some explanation behind the hauntings. PA3 completely forgets that idea and leaves us with a hollow (albeit very tense) climax and ending. I was not the only one in the theater saying, “What the fuck?” when the director’s name came on screen. Even scenes that were shown in the previews as possible answers to questions from the first film were left out or not expanded on at all. While the film shows some ingenuity in offering us scares we’ve never seen before, it still falls back on the same “Boo!” tactics more often than not to get the adrenaline pumping. How many times are people going to slowly turn a corner and attempt to touch someone who we’re pretty sure is possessed? All in all Paranormal Activity 3 is a very good horror movie with plenty of scares and chills to keep you entertained. Just don’t get invested in the plot at all, because this Paranormal Activity gives a finger to the last two films as it strolls off into the sunset.

Things n' things

answers are a few from here

november 1: Cars 2 Crazy, Stupid, Love Water for Elephants Californication Seas. 4 Tresspass november 8: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 The Change-Up Atlas Shrugged Part 1

Children of the Corn is about a demonic entity called what?

Poltergeist is set in which state?

The Sixth Sense was originally suppose to be produced by which company?

The man who played Damien in The Omen has been in how many other movies?


13

www.theblacksheeponline.com

Then there’s the morning after Halloween... Kelly Weatherwax wrote this Living on one of Western’s main party streets definitely has its perks. One of the biggest perks yet, though, is an engaging game I like to call ‘Walk of Shame People Watching.’ Honestly, at this point it’s turned into a hobby for my roommates and me. Best played on and around Lafayette Avenue, the game begins by waking up early after a night on the town, grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting on the porch waiting for girls in their heels and half-unbuttoned tops to stumble out of the abyss of dirty party houses as they try to figure where they are and how they’re going to get home. For the uninitiated, there are a select few holidays that become prime game time. You can catch hordes of the whores during Welcome Week, Central/Western weekend and St. Patrick’s Day, but the best day of them all is Halloween. Halloween is the top weekend for this game because not only do we get to see a massive amount of sluts stumble down the street disheveled and alone, but also they’re dressed up in costumes, or lack thereof. Sure, a game like this means you have to start early, but this Halloween weekend there’s a tailgate, so you might as well keep drinking. For every lady in a cop costume, take a shot. For every sexy nerd costume, two. Plow through an early-morning beer bong for every girl that thinks a corset and animal ears pairing s a costume. You’ll need a nap before noon, which only means you’ll be well-rested for the Saturday night festivities.

The types of girls one sees toppling out of the Godforsaken houses on the scummier side of campus are better than the selection you’d find sitting at the dorms and watching the next morning babies pile in with regret stamped all over their faces. Call us sadists, but a freshman’s look of virgin regret is far less exciting than seeing an upperclassman walking around in a daze, wearing an expression of knowing regret that screams, “I can’t believe I did that again.” It’s fascinating, really, to think what goes through these women’s minds when they decide to have a fun little sleepover on Halloween. Ladies, at least pick a guy that is courteous enough to drive you home in the morning. Otherwise, you have to bear the embarrassment of walking down Lafayette in 40-degree weather wearing his dirty t-shirt or some weird nylon and lace costume that doesn’t look quite as good in the light of day. For those of you who have not thought to try Walk of Shame People Watching yet, please do. The game promises to bring more laughter and happiness to your life. It’s a great way to sit, watch and just plain feel better about yourself because let’s face it; we’ve all been the girl puking up purple vomit in a green dress on West Michigan. Now ladies, while you’re shopping for your slutty costume at Lovers’ Lane keep the Lafayette locals in mind. Find the most bizarre, slutty costume that you can and try and sleep with a random guy you met on the street. You’re our entertainment and we thank you for that. Keep on keeping on.


14

Bartender

of the

on Claire Wils o The Grott drinking game:

www.theblacksheeponline.com

Issue Age: 22 Major: Criminal Justice Aliases: Um… "Claire Bear," I guess. And the bouncers call me "Scary Clairey." I don’t know why. Drink Recipe: Sweetums- Dragon Berry Rum, Peach schnapps, Watermelon schnapps, Sprite and lemonade. Shot Recipe: I like to serve the Chocolate Covered Pretzel. It has hazelnut liqueur, chocolate whipped, crème de coco and a sprinkle of salt. “I Dare You” Shot: I’ve actually watched someone serve a customer the stuff from the drink mats. It had a bunch of floaties in it and the bartender said is was part Goldshlager. I would not like to be on the receiving end of that! Guilty Pleasure Music: Britney Spears. I only listen to her when no one’s with me.

Turn Off: I hate when people who don’t know me call me “baby.” Do, Marry, Kill: Chris Pine, Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans: Oh, gosh. Um, I’d do Captain America… God, I love Robert Downey Jr. I’ll marry him. Halloween Costume: Cowgirl with flesh-spanx and ass-less chaps. Stuck on a desert island, blah blah, three things. Go.: Cell phone, my kitten and a toothbrush. Toothbrush for sure. If you could have any super power, what would it be?: Gosh, we’ve spent hours talking about this. I would want to be invisible, or…Have you ever seen Alex Mack? That 90’s Nickelodeon show? I think it would be cool to just be this floating oil spill that can change shape.

Teeth

The infamous film, Teeth, needs no introduction. It’s popular among stoned high school kids with vagina obsessions and dental hygienists who are horrified at the thought of teeth being subjected to the horrors of down below. But now, thanks to alcohol, this film can be enjoyed by anyone! Number of players: Two. You can play by yourself, but that would be really awkward if your mom walked down into the basement and caught you watching Teeth alone. What you need: The DVD Teeth, shot glasses, and Pinnacle Marshmallow (To play on the vagina theme, you pussy). How to play: - Put in the movie! (They key is to decipher whether it is VHS or DVD. Proceed accordingly). - Every time the word “vagina” is said, you must take a half shot (I say half shot because vagina is used liberally in this movie. I’m looking out for you!). - Every time you watch an appendage get bitten off by Dawn’s vag-chompers (I wonder if she got braces on those things…) you must chug a mixed drink for the entire duration of the injured person’s dramatic bloodcurdling screaming. - If at any point in time a viewer hides his or her eyes from the graphic images of severed genitals, they must take a full shot, because that’s super embarrassing. - Any time you roll your eyes at Dawn’s blatant innocence take another half a shot. Honor code here folks, but seriously – who is this girl kidding?

Endless Pasta Bowls! Monday - Friday: 3pm - 7pm

*$7.99 to add chicken, for a limited time only

The Game Ends When: The movie does.

thirsty for more? theblacksheeponline.com/drinkage

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