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“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College...”

theblacksheeponline.com April 7th - April 20th | Volume 2 Issue 07

Other stuff

Inside 04 Drinking In the Dorms: A guide on how to get your wastern on at Western.

Operation Legendary Point in Time 05 That’s Annoying!

We get some feedback from WMU students about all the stuff they hate...

07 University of

Western Mountain:

CONTINUED ONour PAGE 11... We check out sister

school in Libya!

It was around 9A.M. on a Tuesday as students began to flutter towards two large flat screen TVs at the entrance of the Bernhard Center. Some with coffee, others bursting with strange pre-10A.M. energy that only belongs to freshmen or people with an Adderall prescription. Few could divert their attention away from the glowing monitors for more than a quick second. One could argue we were like moths, but moths usually have a flame or a jittery light bulb; all we were staring at was a countdown clock. It could have been a bomb for all we knew. It seems one either had no idea what Operation Historic Moment was by the time it happened, or you had already heard enough of it days before it was set to occur. It had a truly bizarre sense of promoting itself: guys in gold body suits (think greenman, but gold like it was from a gay bar’s promo wardrobe) carried ten feet long poles with signs telling of Operation Historic Moment looming in the future like an asteroid hitting campus. Other than that, it seems promotions were relatively subtle. Yes, there was press on the commotion but there wasn’t any big fuss on Western’s homepage or GoWMU, just an email list one could sign up for on Operation Historic Moment’s webpage. Obviously this would be a historic moment, but now it was like it was going to be an exclusive VIP historic moment. You had to know a guy who knew a guy to get in on this dank history. As the timer on the flat screen neared its historic conclusion, the amount of people swelled to nearly 100 inside the now-small lobby of the Bernhard center. This was the only tangible location one could go to watch it other than streaming it live from OHM’s website, so a sense of superiority filled the air, like we were there for it man! This is our Woodstock bro! Then the timer stopped and everyone blankly stared at the monitor as nothing happened. The screen stayed blank for a few minutes, and then the webcast of Dunn shot on for a second, and then crashed again. “Hit F5!” someone yelled, but nothingness continued to fill the void white screen as people began to shuffle out in small flocks.

Eddie Tours wrote this

A student would have to give no shits about Western if they have not heard by now, but WMU clearly had a historic donation announced on that day. $100 million dollars donated for any purpose is amazing, let alone for a university that stands in the shadow of two, dare I say, more historic Michigan universities. It also goes without saying that a private medical school will add nothing but prestige to WMU in the future, and for those with degrees from the university. One realization couldn’t be escaped though: why was everyone so damn smug about this? Around 9:45 or so in the Bernhard Center, word had leaked about the donation amongst those who stuck around. Reactions ranged from “Well, I’m already a student here so who cares?” to “I woke up this early for this?” We all know that school spirit is as fictional as an honest reality show, but is it impossible to be slightly happy for something that doesn’t involve you? Students alone can’t be crucified here: the title “Operation Historic Moment” implied that the university had done something historic. After all, it was an “Operation,” with a capital “O,” but that Operation was performed by the person donating, not the school. Not to view this awesome gift through a pessimistic filter, but the donator did all of the heavy lifting in this act, WMU just caught the bag of cash. It’s like having your parents buy you the 7th largest mansion as a wedding gift and turning to your wife with hysterics yelping “We did it! WE DID IT SYLVIA! Let’s make some KIDS!” The legacy of this donation will surely obscure any silly event used to promote it. As stated prior, no amount of snobbery will prevent this from meaning great things for the future of this up-and-coming university, but it should serve as a lesson in humility. There’s a time to be prideful and there’s definitely a time to be a belligerent braggart. Not to say that the students or faculty were 100% either of these in the early hours of March 22nd, but attitudes were shown that will hopefully not go down in the history of the moment.


In This Issue

14: Drinking Game

Jacks and Fives is fun for the whole degenerate alcoholic family!

12: Movie Review: Source Code

Source Code is great, if by “great” you mean “just okay.”

14: Recipe for Disaster

The top of the food pyramid for drunk stoners. So, you.

13: CD Review

The Kills didn’t write this music for your momma.

05: Top Ten

Sounds you don’t want to hear in college... and yes, it includes sex.

06: Party Pics and Shoutouts Did you make the list?

13: The Black Sheep Interviews: Brooklyn rock boys Atomic Tom talk about iPhones, arena rock and Star Wars.

16: Fortune Tellings

It’s true, we can predict the future pretty accurately...

14: Bartender of the Week

This guy has some good tales and some awesome recipes...


a big list of winning stuff!

Download:

Black Sheep Mobile iPhone and Android

Pic of the Week

riddle answer So a lot of people tried getting last week’s riddle...and a lot of people got it wrong. Idiots. Anyway, the correct answer was, “Our pick for March Madness is Richmond.” Okay, maybe we’re the idiots. But picture by picture, this is what it was: Hour + pick + four (loko) + march + mad + nest + is + rich + man. Get it? Ahhhhhh, now it all makes sense. Maybe next time boys and girls, maybe next time.

SEND IN YOUR PARTY PICTURES TO

pics@theblacksheeponline.com or upload them at theblacksheeponline.com

Was it weirder wh en sitting next to me, you were or taking a picture of me? Can you beat our caption? caption@theblacksheeponline.com V O C A L

Best Vocab Sentence Ever? "A jerkapoo is a nasty thing to do; but when you've got bad constabation from all your procrastibation, the thought of a blumpkin can really get you goin'." -Luke S.

theblacksheeponline.com online issues. bar grid. party pics.

P O I N T S

Here are a few words for you to learn, memorize, and use on a daily basis. Try it out and see what happens! Methadome: Definition: Receiving oral sex from a drugged-out hooker or stripper. Sentence: “Bambi had some crazy track marks, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t give some bomb methadome.” Tude-ity: Definition: Nakedness that elicits revulsion from the opposite sex. Sentence: “Karen didn’t expect quite the beer belly on that bro, but when she first saw him naked she experienced a lot of tude-ity. He left in shame minutes after she started mocking him.”

Send us a sentence using one of the words above, and the best one wins a prize! vocab@theblacksheeponline.com


04

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Drinking in the Dorms Made Easy Alyssa Mae wrote this Drinking in the dorms is “against the rules,” but the tenants of civil disobedience state that if you don’t believe in a rule, you shouldn’t follow it. With that in mind, here’s how to best drink in the dorms. 1. The bag - So, you got some 21-year-old or a friend with a fake I.D. to buy you some Everclear and now you’re sitting in the car thinking “How the hell am I going to get this past the RAs at the front desk?” Well you should’ve thought about that before you got the booze. Now you’re forced to sit in the parking lot like a stalker to down the whole bottle alone. Here’s to alcohol poisoning! - What should you have done? For girls this is easy since big purses are in! For guys you can always bring a girl with you. But if you’re one of those losers who have no female friends, you can always go with a backpack.

2. Getting it in - DON’T LOOK SUSPICIOUS! Everyone makes that obvious and stupid mistake of walking into the lobby with that “I’m doing something wrong” grin. Chatting with your friends while walking past your RA about how wasted you are going to get also isn’t the smartest idea. - Just walk in and ACT NORMAL! Smile at those front desk workers (if you’re usually that friendly), get out your ID and go to the elevator towards your room. It’s not rocket science. 3. The elevator - If you’re like my roommate and I and live on one of a dorm’s highest floors then you take the elevator quite frequently. When planning on bringing booze into the elevator you should always check who is waiting for the elevator first. If it’s an RA, suck it up lazy ass and take the stairs. It’s better to be safe than have an accidental slip and end up having to go to “Life Choices” class for $40 at the University Substance Abuse Center. You meet great new drinking buddies there, but it’s not worth the price.

4. The hallway - Many people make the mistake of getting off of the elevator, bursting into giggles, and speeding walking down the hallway to drink their watermelon Burnett’s. If you were an RA and you saw some dumbasses doing that would you think they’re not doing anything suspicious? Nope! SO DON’T DO IT!! - Another thing to watch out for is RAs on rounds. When you get off the elevator or out of the stairwell continue your typical lobby behavior and act normal. Don’t speed walk, and don’t be all giggly like you know you are doing something wrong. RA’s might not be the biggest partiers, but they’re not brainless.

5. The room - As a person who has experience with alcohol in the dorms (and was written up for it), the number one thing not to do is be overly obnoxious or play your music insanely loud. Trust me on this one, it just draws unnecessary attention to your room. - Always keep your door locked! You never know what disrespectful RA is going to just waltz on in or what drunk friend of yours will just throw open the door as the RAs are walking by. - IF a RA does come to your door DO NOT answer the door until ALL of your booze is hidden. A noise violation is no big deal, but watching all of your alcohol be dumped down the sink is miserable. It’s like when you were a little kid and saved up your allowance for the ice cream man, but the mean bully took that colorful Superman from you, it’s just heartbreaking. If you follow these rules you should be able to save yourself from multiple very bad things. An alcohol violation is one of them. These rules will also save you from sitting alone in your car trying to drink your moneys worth of booze because you didn’t think through how to get it into the dorms. They’ll try to stop us anyway possible, but drinking in the dorms will never come to an end!


05

TOP 10

Worst Things You Can Hear in College 10. “You’re under arrest” Three terrible words. Also terrible when accompanied by sirens or someone shouting, “The cops are here!” while you’re holding an alcoholic drink in your under 21 hand. Treat any warning of the pigs as an automatic reflex (like sneezing and closing your eyes), and get the fuck out of there. If you don’t,you may find yourself using your one phone call to holla at your boss, telling him you might be a little late to work this morning. 9. A fart loud enough to kill any boner Maybe you were the farter, or maybe you were the fartee, but either way the sound of a serious toot during a hot and heavy petting session is simply not okay. Take control of your hole.

Well That’s Annoying Dana Borzea wrote this The other day I was driving home from class on West Michigan and was stuck behind the metro bus dropping people off while it stopped every 20 seconds. It was traffic so I couldn’t move in the other lane for like 5 minutes. That was fucking annoying. I then realized that there are a lot of things that piss me off. Like when you go to Pita Pit and they don’t have chipotle sauce and my pita just isn’t the same. Or after a verbal argument you think of so many sick comebacks you wish you could’ve said then. It’s irritating when other people decide your business is their business, I thought we all graduated high school a while ago. Oh and Crocs. Since a lot of shit irritates me, I decided to ask people all over Western’s campus what annoys the crap out of them. Broncos, let the venting begin! Allison B. Ryan E. “Unnecessary girl drama makes me want to punch an infant.” “When people touch my flow.” “When people say they quit smoking, but do it when they’re drunk. “When people try to act hard all the time, but they’re the softest Um hellllllo it still counts!” person. They talk shit, but they can’t back it up.” “When anorexic skinny girls call themselves fat…I literally respond with ‘yeah you probably should stop eating, I so agree with you.” Dilara K. “I throw up literally every time I drink, even if it’s after 4 shots. “People who chew and eat with their mouth open. It is really obThat’s probably one of the most annoying things I’ve ever encounnoxious and gross.” tered.” Mike O. Travis H. “People who are too environmentally conscience.” “Women drivers.” “Dirty snow.” “Teachers who have Facebook and add students and ignore some Marissa G. students’ request…yeah it’s still pending, fuck you.” “When people respond with just ‘k’ in a text. Like really? Really?!” “People who have their status related to their relationship status. Example being ‘I wish I wasn’t so lonely’ or ‘she is the best thing to Chase O. have ever happened to me’. Shut the hell up, people care as much “When people get really close in your person space and try to talk as they do about your Farmville.” to you and you keep backing up and they keep staying close to you. “The male Ugg Boot.” Like back the fuck up.” “People tuck napkins in their shirt.” Elisa A. “When you hit every single fucking traffic light down West Michi“When people are screaming and running down the dorm halls at gan.” 3A.M during the week.” “When a drunk person says ‘I’m fine I’m not drunk at all’ but Carl K. they’re a complete slop mess.” “Ex-girlfriends who stalk your life on Facebook.” Laura M Tyler Q. “When people don’t text you back and you know they have their “When people drive under the speed limit, like hurry the fuck up phone because it’s always glued to their hand.” grandma.” “When people don’t feed your fish when you’re gone and Nemo “When the condom rips.” dies.” “Girls who wear leggings for pants and they reallyyyy shouldn’t be Alexa S. allowed to.” “When you get cum in your eye.” “Stage 5 clingers!” Charlie P. “People that stare at themselves in the mirror at the gym and flex.” “People who stare at you while driving as if you did something wrong, but in fact you didn’t.” “Those who think, and act, as if they are superiors to others, but they are so not.” “People that leave their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle blocking everyone trying to get through.” “The Rachel Maddow show.” Mike S. “Dealing with money and alcohol because no ever has anything besides 20’s and it’s always a huge mess.” Jobin D. “When your Friday morning buzz turns into a Friday morning hangover during your 8A.M. class.” Pat “Bruce Lee.”

Krystyn N. “When I go to the grocery store and there’s no self check out and only 2 cashiers.” Pra-may T. “When my roommate used the last of the toilet paper rolls and doesn’t replace them.” “When people don’t reply to my text, but then I realize that I never sent it.” “When you hold the door open for a girl and she doesn’t even utter a thanks” “Music videos that have nothing to do with the song really, whats that about?!” “When I need to pause YouTube videos and wait for them to load, internet sucks at my house.” “People who violate the law of food. Cereal HAS to go in the bowl before the milk.” So that’s it. Apparently no one here is happy.

8. The puke & splash after a hard night’s liquor binge For some, puking might be one of the worst sounds imaginable. I’ve been around people who blow chunks at the sound or sight of other people blowing chunks, which results in an all-around chunkfest. If you’re like me and don’t cry at the sound/sight of people ralphing, give yourself a pat on the back for not being one of the people who will be weeded out by natural selection (weaklings).

7. Alarm clock on a Monday morning Time purposely goes faster from the time you fall asleep until the time you need to wake up in the morning. It’s science. And when that wretched alarm clock starts going off, it’s always the last sound you want to hear… it sounds more like Satan’s laugh each time. If you really want to fight back and stick it to the man, smash your alarm clock every morning with a bat. 6. “Sorry, this ID isn’t real”- Den Clerk Like, how do you even respond to that? When someone knows your Idaho ID is not real, it’s not because they know that nobody actually lives in Idaho, but because you’re a fool and you’re fooling nobody. At least “you” are an organ donor.

5. Neighbors who suck at all hours of the day What do you do when one-legged hippos are living above you, drunken crybabies are living next to you, and chronic coughers living below you? Invest in a drum set and don’t ever learn to play correctly.

4. Your rival’s fight song blasting your ears off That’s your cue to drive your car into the middle of Waldo Stadium and blast the WMU fight song out of your speakers until your car explodes and everyone is in awe of how ridiculously badass your death was.

3. Any bell or siren interrupting your productivity Monthly dorm fire alarms, the library bell reminding you they’re about to close and you need to get the hell out and have a social life, fire-truck sirens when you’re trying to nap (napping is productivity), or even someone’s obnoxious cell-phone ringer during an exam. All of these little sounds can make even the most tolerant human die a little every time they’re heard. 2. Other people’s sex It’s not even the farm animal-type sounds people make, but the sound of squishiness like someone stuffing raw chicken in jar of mayonnaise over and over that is so uncomfortable that my ears fall off. If you’re going to boing, at least turn on some loud music for everyone else’s sake.

1. “I’m pregnant” Well, fuck. I guess there’s always that place on West Michigan Ave... I don’t think anyone actually knows what its name is, but they proudly display a sign saying, “Worried You’re Pregnant?” Why, yes. Yes I am.

Black Betty wrote this

By Steven VanMaele


S E R U T C I P k e e w E H T OF

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SHOUT OUTS! Carly you are in the picture!! Andrew - quit reading this shit and do something with your life. butt pirate. GRA Hey sexy waitress at Grotto, Sorry i tried to steal your pack of Parliaments, honest mistake. But thanks for giving me the loose one in your pocket. Next time, the cigs are on me! -That guy To K-Red thanks for waking me up thinking I peed my pants...who pees on someone when there passed out drunk? Deeeez squirrelllz are NUTZ! Am I right? Am I right? Panda, corduroy pillows are making headlines! - chin Pchop frm cc will u marry me? No really! Gina, please go back to wearing pants. Love, everyone. Chains and Whips, huh Carly? Not quite... To Greg The Cat, Just because you can speak Spanish does not mean you can’t get “White Boy Wasted.” Also, the name is Tim, not Nick. Gracias, Tim

SEND IN YOUR BEST SHOUT OUT TO SHOUT@theblacksheeponline.com or upload them at theblacksheeponline.com

06

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WMU v. Tripoli State University

07

Edward Tweed wrote this Hello friends and fellow students of the beloved Western Michigan University, the jewel of Kalamazoo…ish. If you’re anything like me, then you probably spend far too much time post-high school graduation finding older kids to buy you alcohol and not enough time planning your rapidly approaching collegiate career. So here we are folks, business majors or some shit in a frozen forest of bump-its and regret. We may not be pre-law at the Noses to the Sky University of Ann Arbor or studying physics with Steven Hawkins at K College, but we wear our brown and gold proudly and those aforementioned kids are pretentious douchebags anyway. Just because our college isn’t the college of colleges there is no reason to fret, worse choices do exist. I know, I know, there is no Tripoli State University, but there is a college in Libya that we share more in common with than you might think: University of the Western Mountain in Zawia. I know what you’re thinking “NO WAY that college has the word “Western” in it too! Trippyyy.” Well, turn down Jessica Black on your iTunes and read on. The University of the Western Mountain was founded in 1983 by Moammar Ghadhafi’s brutal regime and ranks 9287th on www.4icu.org’s World University Ranking system (probably the most legit World University Ranking system that shows up first when searched on Google). Western was founded in 1903, ranks 9019 schools higher than its Libyan counterpart, and was founded by a dude named Waldo. Need

KEYWORD:

HUNTERSRIDGEAPARTMENTS

I say more? Yes, I do, but unfortunately the information I’ve just listed is about the extent of the history and statistics of UWM (hey we even share a similar acronym) so the rest of this article is speculation, but I know a guy who knows a guy who stole some stuff and he told me this shits all true. Located on 110 Jamal Abednasser Street in Az Zawiyah, Zawia between a one-stop rebel killing shop and a bomb crater the size of the Seelye Center, the University of the Western Mountain is only an RPG’s shot away from the Mediterranean. Although its municipalities and curriculum and willingness to tolerate any criticism at all are nowhere near WMU, UWMs proximity to world’s most awesome body of water allows for some pretty kickass weather, touché Libyan colleges. Beaches and bitches all year round of them! What do Woman’s Studies, Philosophy, Humanities, and freedom of speech have in common? They don’t exist at the University of the Western Mountain, but if you do decide you want to spend a semester abroad in Zawia don’t worry, you’re in luck. UWM has recently added a brand new recreational center, a woodshop, and four new dry dormitories to its campus. Yes, you read correct. Alcohol is illegal in Libya, and that’s the one huge difference between them and our wonderful school, we got the nickname Wastern for a reason. Although, all facilities on campus are scheduled for an impromptu demolition sometime between now and soon so you’d better get

H UNTER’S R IDGE APARTMENTS

 Spacious 1 & 2 Bedroom Apartments  FREE Wi-Fi THE WAY YOU WERE MEANT TO LIVE!  HUGE 2 Bedroom/2 Bath Floorplans  Private Patio/Balcony M SHORT WALK TO CLASS OR RIDE and Dryer in Each Unit ClosetsTHE LEX TRAN  Washer  Walk-In SPEOVE-IN CIAL  FREE Carports Available  Extra Storage Available S • Private Bedrooms Fitness Center - with Private Bathrooms  24/7  On the Bus Route • Indoor Basketball Court Tanning  FREE  Minutes to Downtown • CableAir Television - 99 Channels with HBO  Central

H UNTER’S R IDGE • High Speed Wireless Internet • Coffee Bar • Furnished/Unfurnished Apartments • Hardwood Floors APARTMENTS • Pet Friendly • Stainless Steel Appliances • Outdoor Swimming Pool • Tanning Booths

4130 West Michigan Ave. #6, Kalamazoo, MI 49006

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that application in ASAP! Still think Westerns sorority/frat packed bars and flagrant abuse of camouflage in formal settings is unbearable? Yea I know it totally is, but at least we can drink away our issues like normal human beings. So next the time you’re tossing back an Oberon, pour a bit out on the floor for our University of the Western Mountain cousins


The Bar Grid Book your fraternity, sorority, or college event party now!

Red Wings/Pistons/Tigers Drink Specials Every Game! B.O.M. Leinenkugel Summer Shandy $2.75 Pint, $3.50 Tall

THURS/SAT: 9 to Close Half-Price Drinks EVERY NIGHT After 10pmReg Stix w/Dill $2.50, Chzy Stix w/dill $3.50

FRIDAY: Elm Street Riot CD Release Elm Street Riot Elliott Street Lunatic Gunship Radio The Honey Pot

Sick of the same bars? Come try something new!

$2.25 Tall Domestics 7-10pm $2.50 Wells $2.25 Miller Pints $3 SoCo Lime Live Band at 10PM

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Acid Mothers Temple Shilpa Ray & Her Happy Hookers Forget The Times

GLOW BOWL NIGHT

$1 Miller Lite Pints $4 Long Island/Beach $3 Washington Apple

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

Elm Street Riot CD Release Elm Street Riot Elliott Street Lunatic Gunship Radio The Honey Pot

SAT, 4/09

GLOW BOWL NIGHT

$3 U-CALL IT $3 We Pick Shots

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Mastamind Hip Hop From Detroit, MI RANRU Hip Hop From Grand Rapids Skitzo Of Merk Hip Hop From K-zoo Dezert Eez Hip Hop From Kalamazoo

SUN, 4/10

Service Industry Night 1/2 Off Drinks and Apps with service industry card

$3 Tall Domestics $2 Bells Pints

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

The Blue Hit Folk/Prog From Austin

MON, 4/11

Miller Lite Mondays (8-Close) $3 16oz. Miller lite $4 24oz Miller Lt. Cans $0.50 Wings $5 for 2 Hours of Bowling!

$1 PBR Pints All Day $4 DELUXE BURGER BASKET

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub

Dangerous Ponies Awesome New Indie Dance Rock From Philadelphia, PA

TUES, 4/12

College Night (9-Close) $2 Wells, $2 Domestic Pints $2 Games, $1 Shoes $4.99 1-Topping Pizza

$3 ANYTHING! 9pm-1am

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

The Strutt Open Mic No Cover! 15 minute Slots Sign up at 6:50pm Great Drink Specials Drums, PA, Amps provided

WED, 4/13

Ladies Night (8-Close) 1/2 Off Martinis 1/2 Off Wine $0.50 Games, $2 Shoes $4.99 1-Topping Pizza

Micro Brew Wednesdays $4 Talls $3 Pints $5 Flavored Vodka Red Bulls

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

$1.99 - You-Call-It (Excludes Top Shelf)

SPECIAL NIGHT

THURS, 4/07 FRI, 4/08


The Bar Grid $1 PBR pints all Detroit HOME games (Tigers, Wings, and Pistons) $2.50 Tall Boys ALL Detroit Games (Miller Lt., Bud, Bud Lt. and PBR) STUDY HALL (Happy Hour) Every Day from 3-6 $2.50 Well & Call drinks, $1 PBR Pints

SUNDAY: $3.99 Build Your Own Burger $12 Bucket of Dom Bottles Poker Room Open! Euchre Tourney at 3pm

MONDAY: $500 Amateur Contest! $1 Domestics 25 Cent Wings

THURSDAYS: College Night on Campus! 1/2 Off Ladies until 10pm $3 You-Call-Its until Midnight $6.75 mantinis

SPECIAL NIGHT

Pitcher Night Mixed Drink Pitchers Starting at $6.25 $5.50 Domestic Draft Pitchers $2.00 Waldo’s Shots Specials 6-close

$2.75 Bottles $6.50 Medium Pizza Poker Room Open!

$15 Buckets of Beer Big Booty Burgers

College Night on Campus! 1/2 Off Ladies until 10pm $3 You-Call-Its until Midnight $6.75 mantinis

THURS, 4/07

12-3pm All You Can Eat Pizza $4.95 Happy Hour ALL Night $2.50 Well and Call Drinks Cullin Anderson Live 10-close NO COVER!!

PINT NIGHT! $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leiny Pints $4.99 Martinis Poker Room Open!

Ladies Night! (Ladies get in free) $3 Minipitchers $1 Martinis

$3 You-Call-It $6 Martinis & Mantinis

FRI, 4/08

$4 All Bombs $4 Shot AND a Beer (well shot & domestic bottle) $10 Pizza AND Beer (large 1 topping & domestic pitcher) Gabriel James Live 10-close NO COVER!!

UCALLIT. $3.00 all drinks until midnight Poker Room Open!

2-for-1 Dances and Pool Shows Until 10PM!!

$1 Bottles $2.50 Wells $2.50 Pints

SAT, 4/09

Closed

$3.99 Build Your Own Burger $12 Bucket of Domestic Bottles Poker Room Open! Euchre Tourney at 3pm

$1 Domestics Pudding Wrestling

1/2 off SIN Night 1/2 Off Liquor and Domestic Beer with SIN card

SUN, 4/10

$500 Amateur Contest! $1 Domestics 25 Cent Wings

1/2 off Pizza 7-10pm $3 Domestic Mugs $2 Wells

MON, 4/11

$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island/Beach, Blue Island Drink Specials 6-close

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs 35 cent Hot Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings Team Trivia 8PM

Poker Room Open!

“W” Club night Just $10 for personalized mug and lifetime membership, which gets you... $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings FREE Trivia FREE PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup and $1 Off Bottles

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off Liquor and Domestic Draft Beer w/ SIN card $6.50 Medium Pizza Poker Room Open!

$2 Taboo Tuesday! $2 All Beers, Wells and Calls Fetish shows

$1 Pints $2 Wells $6.50 Martinis & Mantinis

TUES, 4/12

Waldo’s Infused Vodka Night Drink Specials 6-close $3 Vodka Shots & Brinks $5 Vodka Martinis 1/2 off food for WMU & K College Staff (with valid ID) Open Mic Every Wednesday! Hosted by Cullin Anderson

College Night at Wayside 50 cent drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Poker Room Open!

$15 Dances

$2 Pints $5 1 Item Pizzas

WED, 4/13


The Bar Grid Book your fraternity, sorority, or college event party now!

Red Wings/Pistons/Tigers Drink Specials Every Game! B.O.M. Leinenkugel Summer Shandy $2.75 Pint, $3.50 Tall

THURS/SAT: 9 to Close Half-Price Drinks EVERY NIGHT After 10pmReg Stix w/Dill $2.50, Chzy Stix w/dill $3.50

FRIDAY: The Go Rounds Album Release The Go Rounds Rock/Psych/Soul From K-zoo Benjamin Riley Band Old Lights

Sick of the same bars? Come try something new!

$2.25 Tall Domestics 7-10pm $2.50 Wells $2.25 Miller Pints $3 SoCo Lime Live Band at 10PM

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Tobacco Freak Electronica From Chicago Beans, Shapers, AND Galactic Vacationer

GLOW BOWL NIGHT

$1 Miller Lite Pints $4 Long Island/Beach $3 Washington Apple

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

The Go Rounds Album Release The Go Rounds Rock/Psych/Soul From K-zoo Benjamin Riley Band Old Lights

SAT, 4/16

GLOW BOWL NIGHT

$3 U-CALL IT $3 We Pick Shots

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Deals Gone Bad Ska/Reggae/Soul From Chicago The Hex Bombs Rock/Punk The Mushmen Ska From Kalamazoo

SUN, 4/17

Service Industry Night 1/2 Off Drinks and Apps with service industry card

$3 Tall Domestics $2 Bells Pints

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

The Hard Lessons Jake Simmons Stephanie Niles

MON, 4/18

Miller Lite Mondays (8-Close) $3 16oz. Miller lite $4 24oz Miller Lt. Cans $0.50 Wings $5 for 2 Hours of Bowling!

$1 PBR Pints All Day $4 DELUXE BURGER BASKET

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub

Child Bite Post Punk From Detroit, MI

TUES, 4/19

College Night (9-Close) $2 Wells, $2 Domestic Pints $2 Games, $1 Shoes $4.99 1-Topping Pizza

$3 ANYTHING! 9pm-1am

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

The Strutt Open Mic No Cover! 15 minute Slots, Sign up at 7.50pm Great Drink Specials Drums, PA, Amps provided

WED, 4/20

Ladies Night (8-Close) 1/2 Off Martinis 1/2 Off Wine $0.50 Games, $2 Shoes $4.99 1-Topping Pizza

Micro Brew Wednesdays $4 Talls, $3 Pints $5 Flavored Vodka Red Bulls

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

Nwe Spryghts Experimental Psych Jeremy Ruggles & The Minddeath Quintet Psych Pop Moonrises Psychedelic

SPECIAL NIGHT

THURS, 4/14 FRI, 4/15


The Bar Grid $1 PBR pints all Detroit HOME games (Tigers, Wings, and Pistons) $2.50 Tall Boys ALL Detroit Games (Miller Lt., Bud, Bud Lt. and PBR) STUDY HALL (Happy Hour) Every Day from 3-6 $2.50 Well & Call drinks, $1 PBR Pints

FRIDAY: PINT NIGHT! $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leiny Pints $4.99 Martinis

SUNDAY: $1 Domestics Wet T-shirt Contest

SUNDAY: 1/2 off SIN Night 1/2 Off Liquor and Domestic Beer with SIN card

SPECIAL NIGHT

Pitcher Night Mixed Drink Pitchers Starting at $6.25 $5.50 Domestic Draft Pitchers $2.00 Waldo’s Shots Specials 6-close

$2.75 Bottles $6.50 Medium Pizza Poker Room Open!

$15 Buckets of Beer Big Booty Burgers

College Night on Campus! 1/2 Off Ladies until 10pm $3 You-Call-Its until Midnight $6.75 mantinis

THURS, 4/14

12-3pm All You Can Eat Pizza $4.95 Happy Hour ALL Night $2.50 Well and Call Drinks Sanger Brothers Live 10-Close NO COVER!!

PINT NIGHT! $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leiny Pints $4.99 Martinis

Ladies Night! (Ladies get in free) $3 Minipitchers $1 Martinis

$3 You-Call-It $6 Martinis & Mantinis

FRI, 4/15

$4 All Bombs $4 Shot AND a Beer (well shot & domestic bottle) $10 Pizza AND Beer (large 1 topping & domestic pitcher) Rob MacinnisLive 10-Close NO COVER!

UCALLIT. $3.00 all drinks until midnight Poker Room Open!

2-for-1 Dances and Pool Shows Until 10PM!!

$1 Bottles $2.50 Wells $2.50 Pints

SAT, 4/16

Closed

$3.99 Build Your Own Burger $12 Bucket of Domestic Bottles Poker Room Open! Euchre Tourney at 3pm

$1 Domestics Wet T-shirt Contest

1/2 off SIN Night 1/2 Off Liquor and Domestic Beer with SIN card

SUN, 4/17

$500 Amateur Contest! $1 Domestics 25 Cent Wings

1/2 off Pizza 7-10pm $3 Domestic Mugs $2 Wells

MON, 4/18

$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island/Beach, Blue Island Drink Specials 6-close

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs 35 cent Hot Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings Team Trivia 8PM

Poker Room Open!

“W” Club night Just $10 for personalized mug and lifetime membership, which gets you... $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters, & $5 Wings FREE Team Trivia Every Tuesday PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup and $1 Off Bottles

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off Liquor and Domestic Draft Beer w/ SIN card $6.50 Medium Pizza Poker Room Open!

$2 Taboo Tuesday! $2 All Beers, Wells and Calls Fetish shows

$1 Pints $2 Wells $6.50 Martinis & Mantinis

TUES, 4/19

Waldo’s Infused Vodka Night Drink Specials 6-close $3 Vodka Shots & Brinks $5 Vodka Martinis 1/2 off food for WMU & K College Staff (with valid ID) Open Mic Every Wednesday! Hosted by Cullin Anderson

College Night at Wayside 50 cent drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Poker Room Open!

$15 Dances Sinner’s Night

$2 Pints $5 1 Item Pizzas

WED, 4/20


12

www.theblacksheeponline.com

the movie page

Based on the Trailer

Source Code dave saw this and gave it a...

Director:

C+

Duncan Jones AKA David Bowie’s son

Your Highness

Starring:

April 8th

Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga, Jeffrey Wright

Starring: Danny R. McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel What You Need to Know: Accents, swords, monsters, and a whole lot of fake seriousness. McBride is a lazy prince who puffs on wizard weed, and Franco plays a sexy prince who must go on a quest to save his fathers kingdom. What We Think: Stones who actually take care of themselves and look good? We’ll take it! Although this could be a pseudo Monthy Python, we’re not sure if it’s going to be as good, ironic, or British. Hmm, perhaps anything Natalie Portman touches doesn’t turn to gold.

Arthur

April 8th

Starring: Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Greta Gerwig, Jennifer Garner What You Need to Know: Oh no! Arthur (Russell Brand) has to decide between an arranged marriage and lots of moolah, or an uncertain future with the love of his life. Good thing he’s got a nanny (Helen Mirren) to help with super personal life decisions! What We Think: What a shocker, Russell Brand playing a spoiled, hard-partying dude that thinks he can get by on his accent and his charms. And maybe his looks. So, sure, he’s a bit obnoxious, but that doesn’t mean we won’t be slightly entertained.

Scream 4

April 15th

Starring: Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courteney Cox, Emma Roberts What You Need to Know: Since you probably don’t remember the 1996 box office success because you were too busy trying to play footsie in your parents’ basement, all you really need to know is that a masked dude is killing people. What We Think: Hell yeah! There’s nothing quite like a classic horror film that might not be Oscar-worthy, but is entertaining and nostalgic all at the same time. Be on the lookout for creeps at the movie theater who will inevitably wear that damn mask, man those guys need to talk to some girls.

Synopsis:

A man bombs Chicago so Jake Gyllenhaal needs to save the day. Take that, New York. All you guys get is Spiderman! I need to stop getting excited about things. This was a film I was really looking forward to seeing; it had a great director, a cool premise, and a star who usually picks pretty solid movies. But once again Hollywood has taken my hopes and dreams and crushed them like some sort of robot designed to crush intangible objects. The cool premise of Source Code is that star Jake Gyllenhaal is a military man whose mind gets placed in the body of a dude who died in a train explosion in Chicago. He gets to experience the last eight minutes of this man’s life over and over again under the assumption that he’ll figure out who exploded the train. So it’s sort of like Groundhog Day meets that ending part of Speed where they end up on a train. Of course Gyllenhaal’s not actually in the real body of any man; that guy died! What he goes into is an alternate reality/computer program where everyone acts the same and situations fold out as they normally would, but he can affect the present and future of just this alternate reality with his actions. He isn’t actually trying to save the people on the train though; they’re all dead too! He needs to find the bomber so the government can

on DVD

Chicago Movies

stop him before he bombs anything else. I was wondering if the government has this crazy complex program that can essentially create a whole new world, why does Gyllenhaal need to go into the body of a different man? Like can’t they just put his body onto the train, Matrix style, thus avoiding the hassles of him dealing with being a different person? I didn’t worry about this too long because the guy who he goes into has a cute girl with him who Gyllenhaal decides would be perfect to try and woo whilst in the middle of his bomber pursuit. That’s called conflict! Again, overall it sounded pretty cool, but Source Code just had too many little things that made the whole thing really unbelievable, even for a science fiction flick. I enjoy sci-fi and I can get behind whatever crazy technology the characters use, what I didn’t buy was the other, non-sciencey stuff: actual human interactions. Like how Gyllenhaal immediately falls for the cute girl (Michelle Monaghan) he’s with on the train, and I mean immediately. Like, he’s only in the train simulation twice before I can already tell he wants to be in her; seems a bit desperate! Also, his character never seems to un-

derstand the purpose of the simulation; like he’s too worried with hurting people and making mistakes even though he can just go in and out of the train world easily. Still, I had a pretty positive view of the movie until the ending presented a bunch of complications. I wish I could reveal spoilers, but of course my two readers would kill me! But if you see the film, you can play the fun game of naming every problem Jake Gyllenhaal’s character would have in the coming weeks, months, and years after the film ends. There’s a ridiculously large amount of them. Yet for a modern sci-fi action thriller, this one isn’t awful. It’s nowhere near as good as director Duncan Jones previous effort, Moon, but it has its moments. One of the best things was that every thing was very understated. There was no screaming, in your face intensity or people flipping out on the train. Things were calm, yet there was still an immediacy and importance of the situation. It’s the same quietness that gave Moon its mystique, but everything just doesn’t click as well here. It has time travel and different realities; maybe they should’ve just repurposed it as Donnie Darko 2: “Train”ing Day.”

answers are a few from here

April 5th

Tron: Legacy The Chronicles of Narnia Taxi Driver Little Fockers

April 12th Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 Country Strong The Incredibles Summer in Genoa

In Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Ferris performs during what parade in downtown Chicago?

While nearly half of The Fugitive was filmed in Chicago and rural Illinois, a large portion of principal filming was shot in what east coast mountain range?

Which movie filmed in Chicago was given the fake name of Rory’s First Kiss as to lower the visibility of the production?

Where was Chicago filmed?


13

www.theblacksheeponline.com

The Black Sheep Interviews: Atomic Tom Luke White is the frontman for up-and-coming New York rockers Atomic Tom. He took some time out of his busy schedule of making music and YouTube videos to talk with us about subway weirdos and Star Wars. For that, we thank him. it. Even on the subway people really liked it, and it’s reflected The Black Sheep: How did Atomic Tom get together? in the video. Luke White: Six years ago I started writing demos for the TBS: So did you have to ask all your friends not to call band I wanted to put together in New York. I brought Phil, you during those 20 minutes? the bass player on, and a couple years later I was able to Luke: (Laughs) No. We actually practiced putting our phones steal a friend of mine, Eric, to be a guitar player. We did on airplane mode so no one could call us. some tours and some EPs, and at the end of 2008 we met TBS: Were you surprised you didn’t get a stereotypical the drummer, Tobias at a show in Toronto. We did some New Yorker response from some of the subway riders? showcases for some labels, and we signed with Universal Luke: Yes, I mean we live in New York and Republic in January, 2010. that’s the way people often operate; they TBS: I ask a lot of bands this question, have no problem reacting to something that and sometimes they’re offended, but how There are more than Atomic Tom annoys them. It worked out really well. would you categorize your music? million porn sites TBS: As a New Yorker, what’s the craziest Luke: I don’t get offended by that question— 26 recorded a video thing you’ve personally seen on the it’s pretty pretentious for someone to take for the motion subway? that the wrong way. You know, we’re rock, we Luke: People expose themselves, people get write melodic pop songs that we want people picture, “Take articles of clothing or bags stuck in doors so to sing and dance to, we call it rock pop. Me Home they’re dragged 50 feet, we even saw a guy TBS: Your YouTube video—the one that Tonight.” use the same app we did to make dance has you guys performing live, on a subway music for the subway. train, with iPhones-- has over 4 million TBS: So you guys played the lead single hits. That’s a ton. How did that idea come DID YOU KNOW ‘Take Me Out’ on a subway and get a about? ton of YouTube views, was the recording Luke: Eric’s brother Ben came to us with the process for the record, The Moment , that easy? idea in Fall, 2010 and said, “Hey guys, you should play ‘Take Luke: It was definitely not as seamless. We recorded 9 or Me Out’ on the iPhone.” We thought it was a great idea. We 10 songs in a friend’s apartment. We spent 3 months and a spent 4 or 5 rehearsal sessions over a month to practice on lot of experimentation recording this thing. We had mics in the iPhone. We wanted to do it in a place that would have the kitchen and the closet. We had cops come by to shut us a public reaction—even a negative one. We did a few test down for noise violations. It was a very homegrown process. runs to see the feasibility of it, found a stretch where the TBS: For you, what’s the perfect song? time between stops is long enough to do it, filmed them and Luke: It’s “If God Will Send His Angels” from the U2 Pop tossed it online. We didn’t expect the reaction we got out of

?

2

Hot N Cold Katy Perry

3

I Can Feel A Hot One Manchester Orchestra

4

Drop It Like It’s Hot Snoop Dogg

5

Hot Like Fire The XX

6

Hot Mess Cobra Starship

7

Hot For Teacher Van Halen

8

You Will Be A Hot Dancer Incubus

9

One Hot Minute Red Hot Chili Peppers

10 Hot Tottie Usher 11 Snowflake In A Hot World Mercury Rev 12 Hot Soft Light The Hold Steady 13 Hot Mess Ashley Tisdale 14 The Block Is Hot Lil’ Wayne 15 Hot Boyz Missy Elliot 16 Get It Hot AC/DC 17 Hot Blue and Righteous ZZ Top 18

Somethin’ Hot Afghan Whigs

The Kills

Parents with high blood pressure beware.

I most certainly am not intimidated by The Kills. Instead of being afraid by the duo’s name, tough looks and even tougher music, I’ve instead completely embraced their entire aura. Their music has that edgy, dark feel; I feel like I’m wearing a leather jacket and an angry look, one from having just punched someone in the face and then the stomach, snatching their drugs and never thinking for a moment that I wouldn’t get away with it. Okay, so this will never actually happen, but that’s just what I was told to do after listening to Blood Pressures backwards and on mushrooms. Kidding! Blood Pressures starts out like an irregular beating, thumping heart with “Future Starts Slow,” setting the tone for the rest of the album of dark beats by Jamie Hince and genuine-rock lady voice – hell yeah girl power– from Allison Mosshart, who has worked with multiple artists in both the US and the UK, most famously Jack White with The Dead Weather. The Kills’ lead single “Satellite” is along the same vein as their opener, in that it’s dark and low, with a chanting, catchy chorus that is ideal for a first-time listener like myself. The rest of the album continues in the same fashion of fast-paced, high-powered catchiness, although it wouldn’t be surprising to think that, in that exact way, it lulls a bit. “DNA” is another one of my favorites on the album; a slower paced tune that still has Mosshart’s signature low voice and repetitive, comfortable chorus.

others

B+

“The Last Goodbye” is one of the last songs on the album that is laughably out of place and must be mentioned, as it kind of embarrasses me to listen to. Mosshart’s usually hard voice is soft and vaguely unrecognizable, very Jackie DeShannon of the 70s hit “What The World Needs Now Is Love.” Weird, right? I guess on the inside of every pin-straight dark haired girl is a heart that just needs some sweet love, but The Kills need not venture into the world of ballads, as they hardly seem like the type that would slowdance anyway. While anyone might agree that The Kills aren’t bad, I can see how this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It isn’t “feel-good” music and it’s hardly commercial, but The Kills is one of the most genuine bands I’ve heard in a while. Their not-giving-a-fuck attitude combined with both members 10+ years of experience in playing music results in quality indie rock that will easily stand the test of trendy time, bypassing anyone dumb artist who is just on the road for some buzz and to get buzzed. Yeah that sounds awesome, but I’d rather continuing fantasizing about being a hard ass and stealing drugs. Sounds Like: Genuine leather, whiskey and a pack of menthols. Download: Satellite, My Heart is a Beating Drum, DNA Listen to it When: You’re getting amped for your first round in the ring.

Raven in the Grave - Raveonettes Tron: Legacy Reconfigured – Daft Punk Steady As She Goes – Hot Tuna Sleepwalker – Adam Lambert

ˇ

The Girl Got Hot Weezer

Out Now

Blood Pressures

Hot Hot Hot! (We Hope) 1

record. I’ve always thought that it was arranged and written so well. I have a lot of respect for U2. TBS: What music do you like that, you know, no one else would think you like? Luke: Robyn. Definitely Robyn. TBS: If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, which one would you choose? Luke: A Tauntaun from Star Wars, I think. TBS: Sir, I too know about Star Wars, and of all the random animals and aliens in that universe, you choose a Tauntaun? Luke: You know, Empire Strikes Back is my favorite movie. So I’ll still go Tauntaun. TBS: But even on Hoth there’s a Wampa! It’s like a big snow Sasquatch! You could have had a Wampa! Luke: You can’t judge my choice! TBS: Alright, we’ll leave it at that. Luke: It’s a mythical creature!

ˇ

music

Jessica Sommers wrote this

Moving Pictures – Rush The Lowdown – George Michael 2011 – Smithereens American Tragedy – Hollywood Undead


14

www.theblacksheeponline.com

bartender

WEEK

of the

Age: 24 Nickname: Gizmo and Diesel Funniest thing you’ve seen on the job: This drunk guy actually jumped over the bar while I was working. Being a bartender is the shit and this guy really wanted to join me I guess. Any stories with you plus cops plus alcohol: Central Western weekend my sophomore year me and a few of my buddies were up at Central and got pulled over by the 5-O. The worst part was that we were all wasted, 20 miles away from where we were staying, and the cop made us get out of the car and walk home. We had no coats or anything and had no idea where we actually were. The next morning we couldn’t remember where our car was and took us all day to find it, a total “dude, where’s my car?” moment. Most random place you’ve hooked up: At my job in high school…during my shift. Ever gone streaking while drunk?: Shockingly never What type of drunk are you? A happy, social drunk. Craziest thing you’ve done while intoxicated: There’s a cemetery right next to my house so one night me and my buddies hit golf balls at the headstones. Serious question, beer pong or flip cup?: Definitely beer pong. Now, what’s your favorite drinking game?: Presents and assholes! What’s your biggest pet peeve about being a bartender?: Trying to figure out of the people in the bar are really, really hammered or just really, really stupid. Been drunk anywhere that you probably shouldn’t have been drunk?: Yup, my high school graduation.

drink

hlstrom a D k c i N apone’s

tto at C The Gro

shot

Colorado Motherfucker

+ Vanilla Vodka + Kahlua + Rootbeer

dare you

Diesel

Sambuca

+ Rumplemintz + Goldschlager + Bailey’s + Kahlua

+ Wherever the night takes you...

:

Jacks and Fives Do you like mystery? Allure? Drinking? Well, you’ll get all three when you’re blackout drunk, but you’ll get all three playing this nifty little game as well. Number of Players: At least 2. What You Need: A deck of cards, some sip and a table. Intoxication Level: You’ll need five people to jacks you off.

How to Play: -Before the game begins, deal four cards to each player. -Players may not look at their first two cards, ever. Players may look at the other two cards. -The goal of the game is to get the lowest sum of the four cards. -Jacks and fives are worth zero. Queens and kings are worth ten. Aces are worth one. The rest of the cards are worth the number on the card (ex: a four of spades is worth four). - The game begins with a player drawing from the top of the deck. The player then has two options: place the card face up in a new pile, or add the card in his hand. -If a player chooses to add a card to his hand, then he must discard one of the four cards currently in his hand in a face-up pile next to the deck. He may discard one of the two cards he is not allowed to look at. -The next player may pick up the face-up card to add to their hand or may draw from the top of the deck. Again, that player must place one card in the face-up pile. -If a player thinks they have the best hand, they may knock during the start of their turn instead of drawing a card. All other players have the opportunity to draw one more card. -Players reveal their cards. The player with the highest total drinks their score.

Redman and Method Man. Bonnie and Clyde. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Milk and Cereal. Yup, these are the greatest pairings of all time. But we thought “Hmm, how can we make this better?” Well, by adding more sugar, of course! “Sugar sprinkled atop Will Smith you say? That’s crazy!” No you dumbass, put the bong down. What You’ll Need: A couple scoops of vanilla ice cream, one to two cups of Fruity Pebbles, milk and crushed ice “to taste.” Cook Time: About four minutes. Fatty Factor: Sugar and fat mixed with obscene amounts of sugar? Yup, you’re a fatty! Let’s Get Baked: - Put vanilla ice cream into a blender with a cup or so of Fruity Pebbles (or any kind of sweet cereal that you enjoy), a splash of milk (depending on how thick you like your shake), and ice (to make it colder and to add some texture). - Stick a straw in it or grab a spoon and enjoy! Of course you can top it with whip cream, chocolate sauce, cherries… but now we’re just getting turned on. A brain freeze will occur, so make sure to balance out your milkshake with a big ole’ bag of chips on the side.

Sexy Time

Sandwiches

Indian

Studying

Tail-Gate

Soups

Italian

drinking games

for e p i c Re Fruity Pebbles Milkshake

Hangover

The Game Ends When: Someone cheats and you cut that puta’s finger off.

er t s a Dis


assistant Editor Dana Advertising Manager Brittany Cooper Mitch Farrington Contributing Writers John Ellis Travis Pelto Eddie Felson Veronica Vaughn Ashley Loomis Dana Borzea Eddie Tours Kristina Sablatzky Distribution Manager K the Man! pr team Jacquis Robertson David Zolp Founders Atish Doshi Brendan Bonham

Questions?

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Copper Beach info@theblacksheeponline.com The Pointe Cottage Inn Big Burrito ads@theblacksheeponline.com The Centre Biggy Coffee (Main) Main St. Pub boo@theblacksheeponline.com Green Light Music Drake Party Store Maui Beach Tanning Hunter’s Ridge Apts Arboretum Hidden Hills Apts Campus Court Campus Habitat Otter’s Oasis Miami Beach Real Deal Pita Pit Den Party Store The Black Sheep in no way promotes, Geno’s encourages or supports binge drinking, and/ Pop’s or under-age drinking. This newspaper is Grotto designed for entertainment purposes only and Fat Burrito does not recommend attempting anything Maggie’s printed in this publication. University Bookstore Please drink...responsibly and legally. Lenny’s Subs Wayside Owned & Operated By: Gallager’s Black Card Media, LLC Menna’s 1425 N. Wood Street, Suite 3A BW3 Chicago, IL 60622 Bilbo’s Pizza 217.390.1747 Biggby (Stadium)

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WMU Spring 2011 Issue 7