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Volume 3, Issue 4 | 10/13/11 - 10/27/11 | theblacksheeponline.com

The

Black Sheep

“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”

how to not be "that" roommate Hannah Weyer wrote this From time to time do you ever find yourself questioning your roommate situation? Let’s be honest, throughout your four years (or more…who’s counting?) of college you’ll have run-ins with your roommates at some point or another. Sometimes even friendships are ended over these debacles. Lucky for you I’m here to cover the six main problems, and how to get around these conflicts. Before you can even begin to follow the tips I will give, you need to know these will not help if your roommate is any of the following: a psycho, a failure, a baby mama or daddy, or a deadbeat. In those cases further action needs to be taken. Cleaning: Ah, the number one issue amongst most college roommates. There’s bound to be at least one dirty animal in the house that thinks their shit don’t stank. Well listen here Miss Thang, it does. And if you want to avoid your roommates being embarrassed by you I suggest you learn some basic cleaning techniques. Like, if you eat out of a dish that is not disposable, clean it. Don’t let your dirty dishes pile up and be left for your roommate(s) to worry about. Also, don’t leave trash around the living room; it’s as easy as picking it up and walking it to a trash can. Last time I checked that’s not a work out. If anything keep your mess contained in your room. If you must have a little disorder in your life, that’s your space. Property Issues: Nothing irritates a roommate more than when their shit gets moved and they can’t find it. In a house of 2, 4 or 6 it’s bound to get confusing when you’re dealing with food, toiletries, booze, etc. Honestly, the best way to get around a fight in is to come to a common understanding with your roommate(s) regarding what can and cannot be used. It may come across as bitchy, but at least it saves you from having to debate whether you bought that Red Bull or your roommate did. Also, don’t be careless with property that’s not yours. For example, if your roommates’ couch is in the living room it’s not okay to get drunk, pass out, and piss on it. Again NOT OKAY. Or if it’s not your coffee

Other stuff

Inside

table in the living room do not let your fat friends come over, dance on it, and break it. If you’re aware of what’s yours and what is not, and respect others property, everything will be fine. Bills: Bills are a student’s worst nightmare, hands down. Rent, utilities, cable and internet are just a few of the many bills we are expected to pay in college. If you’re lucky, (which most of us are not, let’s be real) your parents take care of this. The rest of us work our asses off either throughout the summer or all year long to make enough money to slide by. It can be discouraging watching momma’s boys and daddy’s girls getting everything handed to them on a silver platter, but don’t let that keep you from doing your thing and making them dolla dolla bills. Early to bed/Early to rise: When it comes to bed times and when everyone is getting up, most college households won’t be in sync with one another, seeing as everyone has different schedules. The easiest way to avoid a fight in this area is to BE RESPECTFUL AND AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. I repeat BE RESPECTFUL AND AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. If you have roommates who go to bed early on certain night or have to study, don’t decide to throw a party and be obnoxiously loud. Also, be aware that the walls in all college housings are paper thin so don’t have your TV or radio etc. on full blast. If you are the roommate who wakes up before the rest, don’t think it’s okay to bang the cabinets as you make your breakfast or stomp around like an animal while getting ready, it’s not okay. Students are the grumpiest in the morning seeing as though now that they’re up they have to go sit in class all damn day; probably hung-over because let’s face it, we’re not all overachievers. Drunken disputes: Alcohol tends to bring out a side of us every so often that we aren’t too proud of. Sometimes there may be things said that we will probably regret and usually to the people we’re around the most, our roommates. To avoid having this

04: The Truth About Being A Super-Senior

Superman is kinda cool. Super Mario Brothers is as well. Super seniors? Not quite as much.

drunken brawl with your roommates, a fight that’ll be worse than it would be sober, you should probably say what you need to say before a night of heavy drinking. Because when the alcohol starts pouring and you start binge drinking there’s no telling what may come out of that big whore mouth of yours. Be prepared for the apocalypse in your apartment if there are unspoken problems, they’ll arise when intoxicated. relationship issues: This category can be explained in many different ways. If you’re a couple and you fight constantly, don’t put your roommates through the hell of having to hear it all the time. Take the fight elsewhere. Nobody wants to live with Sam and Ronnie, it’s the easiest way to push your roommates away and look at you like you’re a psychopath.If you are the person who always has their significant other over, don’t overdo it. Your roommates may not voice this, but sometimes they want to walk around naked and not worry about a guy/girl being in the house. Or maybe they (and I know this may be a surprise to some of you) just want to spend time with you alone, roommates love to bond and in most cases are good friends, take a break from your attached-at-the-hip lifestyle to spend time with the people you live with. Boyfriends and girlfriends who are over a lot also think it’s okay to make themselves at home, yes they should feel comfortable, but not so comfortable they’re walking around in their boxers or eating whatever they want. Know your limits.PDA! This is a big one. Do not think it’s okay to have sex in the common places in the house; you have a room, so use it. Nobody wants to be watching TV in the common area while you’re starring in your own porno across the room. If you have any of these problems with your roommates take my advice into consideration, and respect your roommates. These lessons we learned in elementary school really do apply in all situations. Now go home and follow my guidelines before you end up the next roommate voted out da house.

05: The Den: Friend or Foe

The Den giveth (Den Pop) and The Den taketh away (your fake).

07: A Nerd’s Friday Night

Let’s just say their mornings are better than your mornings.


02

Meet The Staff!

Table of

contents

Page 04

Page 07

Page 06

Page 13

Top 10: Facebook statuses that make us really bad

Managing Editor Dana Borzea

Distribution Manager Chase Olender

Advertising Manager David Zolp

pr team David Zolp

Contributing Writers Vanessa Leiner Kyle Kivett Kelly Weatherwax Mike O. Katie Batt Hannah Weyer Kristina Sablatzky Matt Sutor Eddie Felson

campus director Brendan Bonham Founders Atish Doshi Brendan Bonham Questions?

info@theblacksheeponline.com

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Campus Judaism Can Be Cool: They’re taking over Kalamazoo! Someone alert Kalazbollah!

Party Pics + Shoutouts We Interview: Yep, we did catch you doing Dan Whitford from Cut Copy, that one thing last night... get pumped!

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04

THe top ten Annoying Facebook Statuses 10) Play-by-Play of Their Schedule: Everyone has seen a status on their news feed that requires you to click the ‘read more’ button. It looks a little something like, “It’s BEAUTIFUL outside. Getting up early so I’m def wearing sweatpants. Then off to human anatomy from 12-12:50. I packed an apple for lunch, I’ll eat it on my way to the library for my 2 hour break. @Roomate, meet me there! Then doctor’s appointment because I have a really bad cough wah :( Omg then it’s movie night with the neighbors they’re so awesome! We’re going to make Halloween costumes together, I’ll post pictures for everyone’s opinions! Peace and love! Call/text me<3” Statuses like that make me want to slice my wrists horizontally. 9) WOO HOO GOT SO DRUNK DUDE!: It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s the shits I don’t give about how much you drank last night. Who cares?

The Truth About Being a Super Senior Kyle Kivett wrote this Dearest freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors, Hi, my name is Kyle and I’m a SUPER senior. My life blows. Have you ever heard the saying, “Leaving college after four years is like leaving a party at 11:00”? When you’re a super senior it’s like you’re the guy passed out drunk, on a stranger’s couch, in the late morning. You don’t feel cool, you just feel lonely and confused. I’m sure while you’re reading this you’re probably hungover or hangin’ out on the couch with your friends. If so, you must start enjoying your free time the second after reading this because I once did those things too - and sadly, it doesn’t last forever. I currently live off of a road that doesn’t end with “Michigan”, I barely have any friends in Kalamazoo and I completely forgot about Wayside Wednesdays up until about five minutes ago, damn Alzheimer’s. When you’re a super senior, the changes hit you all at once and again sadly, these changes aren’t so great.

in regards to years) of college, I lived in this great house with four of my best friends. It was right off of West Michigan and only a block away from the bars. There was always cold beer and leftover pizza in the fridge – it was amazing. Well, once most of your friends leave, you’re forced to downgrade. If you’re lucky, you will still have one or two friends in the area to live with. Even so, you go from living in a house with a revolving door to a spotless three-bedroom apartment with a new zip code. Don’t plan on decorating for the holidays because no one will see them. So, with all of these changes you’d think going to school would be a nice escape from reality right? Nope. Everyone around you is a year or two younger, and in terrible cases you personally know or have previously slept with your teacher. During class, people practically shun you because of your super senior status. It’s true, in fact I’ve actually started to omit the fact that it’s my second senior year and just say it’s my first. Campus also becomes sort of a graveyard of memories. While I walk to and from classes, I realize that I’m the last one of my friends still here and immediately start to cry. Ok, I’m being dramatic but every building does has some sort of memory with people that are long gone which sucks more than a freshman girl.

“You're like the guy passed out drunk on a stranger's house in the late morning."

You see, when I was a sophomore I decided that changing my major would be the coolest thing ever. All the classes I had taken up until then were now useless and I couldn't have cared less. In my head, I figured it would be ok because everyone takes five years to graduate right? Wrong. By my fourth year the writing was on the wall – I was going to have one lonely and awkward fifth year. When you’re a super senior, it doesn’t hit you that you could’ve graduated until you see a damn cap and gown on one of your friends. That was the beginning of my meltdown. After graduation comes relocation and before I knew it, my best friends were packing up their things to move. What I never realized was that when they moved, my social life went along with them. Super seniors usually have one thing on their mind and that’s graduating, but every now and then we like to go out too. The problem now is that your posse of friends is gone. So, we end up working on homework and calling in noise complaints on a Saturday night. Seriously, fuck our lives. The living situation for a super senior isn’t luxurious either. During my fourth year (I use Harry Potter lingo now

There is one perk though about being the super senior and that is you can completely let yourself go! While your other friends are prepping for job interviews and making sure they have the right business attire, you still have one more year to be a complete bum. And since you’re not going out to the bars or seeing people anymore you can skip out on the tanning packages and take a breather from the gym. Go ahead and eat that tasty donut. If you’re gonna be sad and lonely, you might as well be fat and happy while doing it! In the end, remember boys and girls that unless you want to be the last of your friends on campus while living in a small apartment and gaining weight excessively, try to graduate on time and beat that super senior curse. Take my word for it; the party definitely ends at 11:00.

8) I FUCKING HATE MEN THEY’RE ALL ASSHOLES: No shit Sherlock, that’s nothing new. Please keep your drama off Facebook. What’s even worse than statuses that express their dire love for their man that did them wrong, is an actual virtual fight. Ever been in a yelling match with someone then after it’s done you think of a million better comebacks? Well with Facebook fights that isn’t a problem. You can sit and stare at your computer screen as long as you want with your girlfriends to come up with the wittiest, rude, paragraph-long comeback. 7) PeOpLewHoTaLkLiKeThIs: You thought this trend died in 6th grade along with butterfly clips? Nope. People still type like this. What posses them to do such a thing? Work out for their fingers back and forth on the shift key? Confuse foreigners on our capitalization rules? Piss everyone else off? 6) Gangsta Rappers: One of my favorite types of statuses to read are those written by aspiring rap artists. Some of these statuses include, “tuck my napkin in my shirt cause im just mobbing like that”, “On a mission mayne to get out this ghetto lyfe”, “fuck bitches, get money”. Dude, you grew up in a $300,000 home with an in-ground pool. Your “whip” is a new Mustang. The only struggles you have is which Lacoste polo to wear to the kegger this weekend. You don’t “fuck bitches,” you occasionally hook up with the drunkest chick at a party. You’re a disgrace if you think you’re a rapper in any way, shape, or form. Tupac and Biggie are turning in their graves as we speak. 5) LISTEN! It’s you’re, your, their, there: Dumbass. 4) TV Updates: Don’t have cable, but have a Facebook account? No problems here! If there’s a Detroit Lions (5-0 BABYYY!) Wings, new Teen Mom episode, or anything big on TV, it will most likely be one Facebook the second it happens on TV. I don’t comprehend why there’s a need to repeat the same, “WHAT THE HELL WAS LADY GAGA WEARING” status 78 times. 3) OMG I HATE SCHOOL!: Oh yeah, I actually love school. I’d rather be spending all of my time in Waldo Library sunk into my books and lecture notes. OBVIOUSLY NO ONE LIKES SCHOOL. To those people who post every day and complain about how much they have to do and how much they don’t want, shut up. We all feel the same so don’t remind us. 2) Teen Moms: Awe your baby took her first poop?! No way, she did not eat all of her mushed up pears?! She pointed out the monkey in her picture book?! You must’ve lost a few brain cells during childbirth if you truly think anyone cares about every little thing your baby does. Leave that to MTV. 1) People who are wrong: Plain and simple, if you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about don’t write about it on Facebook. You just confirm other peoples’ ideas that you’re a dumbass.

Dana Borzea wrote this


05

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The Den: Friend or Foe? Vanessa Leiner wrote this

Everyone who has ever walked into the Den Party Store to get their daily dose of Den Pop has seen the iconic Wall of Shame, full of the faces of those who were stupid enough to waltz into The Den with their fake ID. Tisk tisk, minors. Walking into The Den with a fake is like walking into the police station with a packed bowl, you just don’t do it. The Den takes their liquor license very seriously. Employees are trained to use a black light to check ID’s and also have a book to refer to for all out-of-state licenses. They are on their A-game, people. And thanks to all the drunkies with fakes that are dumb enough to think that they’ll pull it off, the Den team gets more experience every weekend. Listen people, they aren’t trying to be assholes, honestly. In order to keep The Den legacy alive they have to keep their shit in order. Hence the Wall of Shame, put in place to mock those drunk idiots who thought they had a legit enough fake to stump ‘em. Come on youngsters, there aren’t just ten or twelve fakes up on that board. There are tons! Let their mistake be your lesson. Fake IDs don’t come cheap these days either. Legal twentysomethings want compensation for their annoying wait at the Secretary of State office. It only makes sense that if you want to party with the big dogs, it will cost you. So why throw away the 50 bucks you just spent on your fake? You could have bought 5 fifths of tasty Burnetts with that money. Now I know that some of your faces may be adorning the wall of shame. No worries, we all need to get our fix, preferably without tipping a buyer or begging your legal friend to do a quick run. No one can deny the fact that the idea of trying to buy from The Den with a fake has gone

through his or her mind once or twice. You would be a legend among your friends, and personally I would frame the receipt for you as evidence for the rest of time. So, if The Den is so strict how come we keep coming back for more? As Western students The Den is in our blood. When we’re thirsty, we go to The Den. When we need a chaser, we go to The Den. Even when we are hung over, we go to The Den. It’s a vicious cycle that can’t be broken. No matter how much your cable bill cost or how many drunk crab ragons you ordered last night, we are never broke enough to dish out sixty five cents for a den pop. As poor college students none of us are above digging through the couch cushions for some spare change. The Den also has your back when it’s nine o’clock on a Friday night and you realize you don’t have all the ingredients for a great night. Go for a Den run! The shelves are stocked with red cups, beer bongs, puff puff treats and all other drunken accessories you could ever want. Common misconception is that you’re the belle of the ball when you stumble into The Den wasted on a Friday night. No the employees don’t always want to engage with you in your drunken slur, but can you really blame them? I’m assuming they’d rather be out getting their drank on then serving your drunk ass. Long story short my friends, whether hung over or Western wasted, respect our loyal friend The Den and hit up the run down, no-name liquor store to test out your fake. Drink On. The Den didn’t pay The Black Sheep anything for this article, though they should. Hint hint.

now hiring See, you're so intrigued, you're reading this mysterious piece of content. Anyway, want to join our team and be a part of the funniest publication in town? We're looking for writers, marketers, and sales people, preferably those who know how to type well and are good at that new Facebook, it confuses us...a lot. Interested? Good, because you could end up on our team (but not your roommate, you know why...come on now).

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SHOUT OUTS! Dear Roomie. When I am sick, please do not wake me at 1 am to have another inane phone call with your boyfriend. Also, if I passively aggressively wake up and play tetris, it is a point- not permission to skype him and talk to his cat. Sincerely, WTF Dear guy that fell in someone else's puke at the Library, thank you for the best laugh of my life. Dear Everyone Who Wants To Be A Librarian, Sorry about the whole internet thing. Dave - I told you the table couldn't hold your fat ass. You're covering the damages and buying a new table -Tom Girl in the blue bra and nose ring at the underwear and overalls party, you're sexy as shit. Wish I could dance with you again. The cute redheaded girl Hood, enter in the rap contest! You can't lose if you're the only participant! Amanda, there's no way you had sex that quick. If so, you two have issues. -Sarah To Zack F for having the best shaved ballsack that Bower has ever known - the Bros Dear Roommate, Sorry you woke up while I was having sex in the bed next to you. Sincerely, Your roommate that got some SEND INYOUR BEST SHOUT OUT TO SHOUT@theblacksheeponline.com or upload them at theblacksheeponline.com


07

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jews are cool too: Campus Judaism What is Campus Judaism? Campus Judaism is an awesome bastardization of regular Judaism. It’s less boring and more awesome. Seriously? Isn’t that sacrilegious? Probably. What exactly does a Campus Jew do? Whatever your feeble nerd brain can imagine, racist. But we do it like a boss. No, seriously. What are the rules? Rule #1: Don’t be a dick. Rule #2: Like a boss. No, dude. What’s the deal? Listen, nerd. Campus Judaism combines all the peace-loving adorableness of classical Judaism with the laissez-faire attitude of a college campus. You are pretty much just you, except you now have an excuse not to go to church when annoying preachers ask you about your soul. That sounds stupid. Much like your mom. Well, what’s the deal? Do you have holidays? Holidays are whichever ones you like to celebrate in classic Judaism. We have Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, Passover, Purim and a million more. So no Christmas? Dude, Christmas rocks! Lots of Campus Jews celebrate Christmas, it would be silly not to. There’s literally nothing better than a mysterious fat man who sneaks into your house and leaves wonderful surprises for you. Also there is a tree. We’re not sure what the tree is for, we’ve given up trying to understand you goyim, but you make bacon so we love you.

Bacon. That raises another question. Can youAre there any other Jews around you? Um… no? Go nuts.

Go nuts? Yeah. Depending on ninja skills and religiousitude, Jews only ever keep kosher to make other Jews think they’re kosher all the time. Makes you wonder why we even bother, but you’ve never been subjected to Jewish Guilt. I’ve heard of that. What exactly is Jewish Guilt? Let me tell you a story. I knew a girl once. Let’s call her Sock. Sock was celebrating Rosh Hashanah with her family when her grandfather cornered her and started talking at her. Sock told me that what had started as an innocuous conversation about school turned into a horrifyingly guilt-creating bloodbath, the gist of which was “Your mother got pregnant with you while she was in vet school. If you had not been created, your mother would be a rich veterinarian and she would be way happier than you can ever make her.”

Sock Yamaka wrote this

That doesn’t sound too bad, actually. My mom’s pretty great. Then not only are you doing Jewish wrong, you’re doing party wrong. I do party fine. Clearly not, if you’re okay with your mother watching every single act of depravity you commit on Thursday nights. Or you just have a close family. I’m not judging. What about sex? Sex is okay, right? At some point in her life, your mother was in the same position you’re trying to get that girl into. OMG ew! Why! Learned it in Torah study. Illicit materials? Yea or nay? You’re going to give your grandmother a heart attack. I hate you. Now you’re getting it!

…Woah. Catholics have Original Sin. Jews have “You should never have been born, you pathetic waste of circumcised foreskin.”

I am? Yep! Judaism says that it’s about peace and love, but the real Campus Jew hates himself and everyone around him.

But not Campus Jews, right? Campus Jews don’t have to feel guilty about being born? Not really. If you don’t hate yourself, you’re doing Jewish wrong.

But… I do that anyway! I know! Do you see how easy and accessible Campus Judaism is?

How do you mean? Well, Christian churches usually say you can’t go out and party. In Campus Judaism, it’s totally fine, you just have to imagine your mother silently judging you the entire time.

Like your mom! Well done, Padawan. Now go call your mother and apologize for being a wretched excuse for a child while you dissolve into a puddle of self-loathing and spite-urine.

The Nerd’s Friday Night

Katie Batt wrote this

You’ve probably read a hundred or more articles about all the drunken, sloppy adventures that happen at WMU. After all, our school has earned the nickname “Wastern,” and almost everyone knows we are a party-hard kind of educational facility. I’m not here to tell you how to get drunk or how to make alcohol in your closet; I’m here to tell you how the average nerd spends their Friday night at the party school that is West Michigan University. You may be surprised, but not all of WMU’s students enjoy going out to get smashed every weekend. (Yes, I did just throw British slang at you. Deal with it.) There is a certain caliber of student that prefers to stay tucked in at their cozy dorm room to play Modern Warfare 2, read a good book, watch a movie or sleep (a valuable thing for a nerd). Since many nerds spend their time doing homework, Friday night is the perfect time to take part in these leisurely activities. Quite frankly, turning ourselves into drunken fools is not conducive to nerd-like behavior. You’ll know you have nerds in your building if you walk past an open door and see a couple of people playing Modern Warfare with a pizza and a 2-liter of Pepsi. Wave goodbye, and never fear, they will be there when you come stumbling back down the hall hours later. If the door is closed, you may hear shouts of, “That grenade hit him! What the hell!” or “I know! Question thirteen wasn’t even in the notes!” To a nerd, there is no greater joy than pwning n00bs. It takes all the stress away after a long week of studying and staying up all night doing homework because we spent last weekend immersed in an epic virtual battle. Please, don’t pity us. We enjoy what we do and we are far from lonely when playing online with other gamers. The only downside is listening to ten-year-olds who play better than you and swear more than you. Nothing is worse than a 5th grader killing you followed by a, “That’s right, bitch!” Among the kingdom of nerds are the fangirls. These nerds can be found watching their

favorite anime or reading fanfictionon a Friday night. They might bring some Chinese food or sushi home to bring themselves closer to their Asian heroes. Some of them may use Friday night to work on their costumes for the next convention. Youmacon is in a month people, you expect them to go out and get wasted? Other nerds simply sit in a friend’s room and say silly things. Groups or gaggles of nerds may simply sit and come up with hilarious stories, all this without the influence of alcohol. You could say that nerds are drunk on life. There are countless other activities that nerds may partake in on a Friday night. Some learn how to solve a Rubik's cube, while others catch up on their favorite science fiction show. Either way, a nerd’s weekend never has a need for alcohol. To all the nerds that may have read this, I write with affection. You are my people. If I did not cover your nerdy activity of choice, I apologize. As the weekend approaches, I wish you the best of luck finding the last episode Doctor Who online or finding that combination of weapons that helps you kill as many n00bs as possible. To those who are going out to drink, be safe and try not to make too much of a fool of yourself! At the very least, delete the pictures.


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Happy Hour Mon-Fri 3-7 $2 Domestic Pints, $3 Micro Brew Pints, $2.50 Wells Beer of the Month: All Bell's Flavors $3 Pints and $4 Mugs $3 Shock Top Raspberry Wheat Bottles

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“W” Club night (3PM - Close) Members Only, Ask About Joining! $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings TEAM TRIVIA 8pm PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup, $1 Off Bottles, $5 Wings

WED, 10/19

Live Team Trivia (8-10) Gift Card Giveaways & Specials! 8PM - 1AM: $3 Tall Miller Lite $3 All Pints $3 Bacardi & Smirnoff Flavors 1/2 Off Any Pizza

$2.50 22oz Miller Lite $2.75 Wells, $2 House Shots $1 Tacos & Karaoke Bags Tournament w/ Ca$h Prize

Beer Tasting 8-10pm: 5 Different Beers and Food to Match! Waldo's Vodka Night (6-Close) $3 Shots & Drinks, $5 Martinis 1/2 Off Food for WMU and K College STAFF FREE POOL | Starworld Dart League


t ' n s e o d y t r a The p ! t n i o j s ' a n stop at men

OPEN LATE FOR THE MUNCHIES YOU JUST CANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T KICK, AND open early

FOR ALL THE RECOVERY YOU NEED

GO W MU ILL

BEAT N.

INOI S!

TRY THE FASTEST DELIVERY IN TOWN!

3501 Stadium Dr | 269-375-DUBS

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HOME OF THE DUB Obscenely Delicious

Wildly Addictive

The Bar Grid FRI: Ugly Sweater Party! $100 Prize to Ugliest Sweater $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leinie Pints $4.99 3 Shot Martinis Dance Club Open

FRIDAY Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

SPECIAL NIGHT

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Canadian Nights $3 Labatt and Molson $6.50 Medium Pizza

Monster Thursday $3 Wells $3.50 Coronas 18+ Allowed!

Ladies Night! Happy Hour and Sushi Bar 6-9pm $5.99 Martinis (Open - 12) $3 U Call Its $6.75 Man-tinis

THURS, 10/13

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

Ugly Sweater Party! $100 Prize to Ugliest Sweater $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leinie Pints $4.99 3 Shot Martinis Dance Club Open

Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

$1 All Domestic Pints $3 You-Call-It $6.75 Mantini's (Open to 12)

FRI, 10/14

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

ESPN College Football Package $2.50 Pints of Bud Light and Miller Lt. 12-8 $3 U Call Its 9-1am

Party Night! $3.50 Featured Domestic Bottles $4 Sex on the Beach

$.50 Rolling Rock Drafts $1.50 Well Drinks

SAT, 10/15

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

NFL Sunday Ticket $12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

Closed

1/2 Off ALL Food and Drink with WMU ID card or SIN card

SUN, 10/16

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs $3.75 Premium and Specialty Mugs 35 cent Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings NFL Package

Closed

$5 Man-Tini $5 1 Item Pizzas $3 Domestic Mugs

MON, 10/17

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off! $6.50 Medium Pizza

Closed

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

TUES, 10/18

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

College Night at Wayside $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Dance Club Open!

Closed

$2 Drafts and Pints (Open - 12) $12 Martini Sampler

WED, 10/19

THURS/SAT: 9 to Close Half-Price Drinks EVERY NIGHT After 10pmReg Stix w/Dill $2.50, Chzy Stix w/dill $3.50


Get on the grid! ads@theblacksheeponline.com

The Bar Grid SPECIAL NIGHT

Happy Hour Mon-Fri 3-7 $2 Domestic Pints, $3 Micro Brew Pints, $2.50 Wells Beer of the Month: All Bell's Flavors: $3 Pints and $4 Mugs $3 Shock Top Raspberry Wheat Bottles

THURS, 10/20

$2.50 Tall Domestics (7-10pm) $2.50 Wells $2.50 Bud and Bud Lite Btls. $3 SoCo Lime

FRI, 10/21

9PM - 1AM $1 Miller Lite Pints $4 Long Island $3 Washington Apple $5 Appetizers (3-11)

SAT, 10/22

WMU vs. Bowling Green! $2.50 U CALL IT (3PM-1AM) Pizza, 2 Salads, 2 Pints for $20!

½ Off All food and Drinks Noon-Midnight

SUN, 10/23

$3 Wells $5 Domestic Pitchers $7 Bells and Blue Moon Pitchers (3PM-1AM) Free Capone Sticks w/ Deep Dish Pizza

$3 Bloody Marys $2 Domestic 22oz Drafts $2 House Shots

Open for special events only. Call to find out what counts!

MON, 10/24

NFL Watch Party Lions vs. Bears! $2 Domestic Bottles $1 PBR Pints $3 Manager's Choice Shots $4 Deluxe Burger Basket

$2.50 22oz Budweiser and Bud Light $2 House Shots

$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island, Long Beach, Blue Island

TUES, 10/25

$3 ANYTHING! $0.45 Wings!

$2 Tuesday $2 Domestic Drafts, Wells, House Shots $2 Off Burgers Live Music featuring Tim Pallin and Jeremy Sprague

“W” Club night (3PM - Close) Members Only, Ask About Joining! $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings TEAM TRIVIA 8pm PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup, $1 Off Bottles, $5 Wings

WED, 10/26

Live Team Trivia (8-10) Gift Card Giveaways & Specials! 8PM - 1AM: $3 Tall Miller Lite $3 All Pints $3 Bacardi & Smirnoff Flavors 1/2 Off Any Pizza

$2.50 22oz Miller Lite $2.75 Wells, $2 House Shots $1 Tacos & Karaoke Bags Tournament w/ Ca$h Prize

Waldo's Vodka Night (6-Close) $3 Shots & Drinks $5 Martinis 1/2 Off Food for WMU and K College STAFF FREE POOL

$2 Tuesday $2 Domestic Drafts, Wells, House Shots $2 Off Burgers Live Music featuring Tim Pallin and Jeremy Sprague

$1 PBR Pints ($2 in your mug if you're a mug club member) for all Detroit HOME games! $2.50 Tall Boys for ALL Detroit games (Miller Lt., Bud & Bud Lt., & PBR) STUDY HALL Daily 3-6 $1 PBR, $2.50 Well & Call Drinks New Fall 2011 TAPAS Menu: Everything $3 or Less!

Progressive Wells from 8-12 Starting at $1.50

Pitcher Night $6.25+ Mixed Drink Pitchers $5.50 Domestic Beer Pitchers $2 Waldo's Shots $1 Burgers

$1 Rolling Rock Cans Starting at Midnight

$1 Domestic Drafts $2 House Shots

All Day Happy Hour (12PM - Close) $2.50 Wells and Calls $4.95 All You Can Eat Pizza (12PM - 3PM) $4 All Bombs $4 Shot AND a Beer (well shot & domestic bottle) $10 Pizza AND Beer

(large 1 topping & domestic pitcher)

$1 Off All Bottles (6PM - Close)


t ' n s e o d y t r a The p ! t n i o j s ' a n stop at men

OPEN LATE FOR THE MUNCHIES YOU JUST CANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T KICK, AND open early

FOR ALL THE RECOVERY YOU NEED

GO W MU

BEAT EAST ERN!

TRY THE FASTEST DELIVERY IN TOWN!

3501 Stadium Dr | 269-375-DUBS

KALAMAZOO - ORDER ONLINE MENNASJOINT.COM

HOME OF THE DUB Obscenely Delicious

Wildly Addictive

The Bar Grid THURS/SAT: 9 to Close Half-Price Drinks EVERY NIGHT After 10pmReg Stix w/Dill $2.50, Chzy Stix w/dill $3.50

WEDNESDAY: College Night at Wayside $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Dance Club Open!

FRIDAY Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

SPECIAL NIGHT

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Canadian Nights $3 Labatt and Molson $6.50 Medium Pizza

Monster Thursday $3 Wells $3.50 Coronas 18+ Allowed!

Ladies Night! Happy Hour and Sushi Bar 6-9pm $5.99 Martinis (Open - 12) $3 U Call Its $6.75 Man-tinis

THURS, 10/20

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

Draft Night! $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leinie Pints $4.99 3 Shot Martinis Dance Club Open

Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

$1 All Domestic Pints $3 You-Call-It $6.75 Martinis (Open to 12)

FRI, 10/21

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

ESPN College Football Package $2.50 Pints of Bud Light and Miller Lt. 12-8 $3 U Call Its 9-1am

Party Night! $3.50 Featured Domestic Bottles $4 Sex on the Beach

$.50 Rolling Rock Drafts $1.50 Well Drinks

SAT, 10/22

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

NFL Sunday Ticket $12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

Closed

1/2 Off ALL Food and Drink with WMU ID card or SIN card

SUN, 10/23

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs $3.75 Premium and Specialty Mugs 35 cent Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings NFL Package

Closed

$5 Man-Tini $5 1 Item Pizzas $3 Domestic Mugs

MON, 10/24

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off! $6.50 Medium Pizza

Closed

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

TUES, 10/25

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

Back to School Party! $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Dance Club Open!

Closed

$2 Drafts and Pints (Open - 12) $12 Martini Sampler

WED, 10/26


12

www.theblacksheeponline.com

the movie page Based on the Trailer

50/50 benson saw this and gave it a...

Director:

Jonathan Levine

Paranormal Activity 3 Oct. 21 Starring: Katie Featherston What you need to know: Katie Featherson plays a mother living in a haunted house with her family. In an attempt to logically explain the eerie happenings around the house, she puts video cameras all over the house to monitor what happens at night. This reveals their kids doing creepy things—such as jumping off the banister only to climb back up the stairs and talking to an “imaginary” friend. Horror ensues. What we think: I mean, if you liked Paranormal 1 and 2 then you would probably like this one as well. After all, it does seem to have the exact same creepy plot as the past two films...and was probably shot at the same time...

The Rum Diary

Oct. 21

Starring: Johnny Depp, Amber Heard What you need to know: Paul Kemp is a journalist who’s sick of his chaotic lifestyle in New York City, so he moves to 'chill' Puerto Rico to work for the local paper. Once there, Kemp goes absolutely nuts— ingesting any type of liquor he can get his hands on and becoming obsessed with a corrupt American entrepreneur’s fiancé. When said entrepreneur recruits Kemp to write an article portraying him in a good light, Kemp needs to make the choice between helping him continue with his illegitimate business or destroying him. What we think: This movie is the brainchild of the one and only Hunter S. Thompson and has Johnny Depp in it, so you know it must be wild.

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas

Starring:

Joseph Gordon Levitt, Seth Rogen

Synopsis:

50% + 50% = 100%, which is the amount of this movie that was awesome! The following is a list of movies which have choked me up: My Dog Skip, The Lion King, The Fox and The Hound, 50/50. I say this with absolutely no shame. In fact, I dare any one of you to go out and see the movie 50/50 and see if you can’t help weeping like a 13-year-old girl. You could be the most hardened criminal with a mustache of beef jerky and nerves of cold iron and 50/50 will still reduce you to a sniveling pile of raw, feminine humanity. But the best part? 50/50 is also hysterical. 50/50 follows the life of Adam Lerner (Levitt), a public radio worker who, after consulting a doctor about his mysterious back pains, learns that he has Neurofibroma Sarcoma Schwannoma, a rare type of cancer which carries a 50% survival rate. Adam’s friend, Kyle (Rogen), sticks by Adam’s side every step of the way. Throughout Adam’s chemotherapy, nervous breakdowns, and afternoon medicinal marijuana bong loads, Kyle remains at Adam’s side, providing support, advice, and the core of the comedic value in the film. Also in the film is Anna Kendrick playing the role of Dr. Katie McKay, Adam’s attractive, young therapist, Bryce Howard as Rachael, Adam’s girlfriend, and Anjelica Huston as Diane, Adam’s mother.

on DVD Nov. 4

Starring: Kal Penn, John Cho What You Need to Know: Due to some freak accident, Harold and Kumar manage to shoot Santa Claus in the face, and thus, discover that he is in fact real. Then, as per the first two Harold and Kumar movies, our favorite stoned, drunk partiers go on an assload of hilarious, nonsensical adventures, and even meet up with Neil Patrick Harris along the way. What We Think: What do you think we think? It's the must-see movie of the year! No, but real, has the combination of Harold, Kumar, and NPH ever let you down? We didn't think so...

A+

As Adam undergoes the painstaking chemotherapy process, he learns what is really important in life, who your real friends are, and the importance of respecting yourself and your dignity. Based on the commercials for this movie, I assumed it was just another outrageous Seth Rogen comedy. And while Seth Rogen does provide a great amount of comic relief and the film’s script is very clever and well written, ultimately this is a movie about a man who has cancer. I was surprised at how heavy this film actually got at moments. I was never a big fan of Funny People, another film starring Seth Rogen about a man who is burdened with a life-threatening disease, and was not expecting 50/50 to be any different. I really liked the idea of having a movie about serious subject matter be treated as a comedy, without losing an effect of the drama, but I felt that Funny People tried too hard to be a serious drama, as if the filmmakers wrote a comedy and then threw the drama in after the fact. 50/50 is different in that there is really nothing funny about it. It is as morose of a subject matter as can be. However, the comedy appears not in ridiculous plot twists or wacky scenarios, but in the charm, wit, and chops of the actors.

While any film which deals with the subject of mortality is guaranteed to deliver a theme of, “Stop and smell the roses every once in a while,” 50/50 avoids the obvious message and instead shoots for deeper lessons. It remains very mature and realistic, this is no Bucket List. Instead of being a movie that inspires feelings of how great life is and how lucky we are to be alive, 50/50 is about the fact that life sucks sometimes. We get dumped, we are all depressed, we all die. However, the one shining light in our lives are the friends who are there to give us company and support us. Of any other theme, 50/50 is a movie about the importance of friendship. There is really nothing bad I can say about this movie. It is near perfect. Brilliantly acted, emotional beyond imagination, and touching. There are scenes which made me laugh harder than a great comedy, and scenes which made me choke up more than the most emotional drama. In a film climate filled with re-makes and super epic extreme computer generated super hero movies, 50/50 is a well made, greatly acted, and powerful film with a lot of genuine heart.

it's all in the numbers

answers are a few from here

october 11: Green Lantern Horrible Bosses Tree of Life The Zookeeper Workaholics: Season 1 october 18: Pirates/Caribbean: On Stranger Tide Pearl Jam Twenty Bad Teacher Red State

Joseph Gordon-Levitt also starred in this late 90s comedy with numbers in the title...

The world got to see Naomi Watts' boobs in this movie centered on multiple lives crossing paths...

This 1986 erotic thrilled starred Mickey Rourke giving it to Kim Basinger...a lot...

Edward Norton doesn't make bad movies, and this one is no exception...


13

www.theblacksheeponline.com

the interview

Dan Whitford of Cut Copy

The Australian electronic band Cut Copy has been blowing up in recent years, probably due to rave reviews from Pitchfork as well as picking up traction from the cool kids who follow the site. We got to chat with lead singer Dan Whitford a few days before their performance at the Pygmalion Music Festival in Champaign last weekend about electronic evolution, writing lyrics to classic songs and playing tennis against Franz Ferdinand. The Black Sheep: So you’ve been playing electronic music since 2001. How has the electronic music scene changed since? Dan Whitford: Like anything, music’s kind of a slave to fashion and trend as much as any art form. To me, it feels like electronic music has been welcomed more as a mainstream form of music at the start of 2000. I’d guess partly because we had come out of an era of music where sort of indie stuff was really what all the cool kids were into, and anything with synthesizers kind of went a little bit into a niche world for a while there. I felt like dance music and guitar based music were very separate things and I guess that was sort of the mission statement of what Cut Copy was about, being passionate about both pop music, guitar based indie music or whatever you want to call it and also being really inspired by synth based stuff, and club and dance records. So, I think over that period of time those things have come together very much and it’s interesting that there’s the whole scene in the States now based around Pitchfork and stuff put online by sites like that. We like both parts of that music equally and use them interchangeably, and it feels like our mission statement has been fulfilled in a lot of ways. TBS: You guys do have such a great balance between using the synth samples and beats with the instruments that you play. Was it a natural collaboration of those two sounds? DW: It was tricky in a way because there really was no blueprint for that kind of combination. Finding a way to combine those things was the biggest challenge. For me it feels like fusion, one of the real dirty words in music, and I guess the idea of fusing synth and rock music probably could turn into something pretty bad. So thankfully we’ve found a really tasteful way of doing it and a way that was works for us and works for a lot of other people. It’s definitely not a mathematical operation, it very much goes by feel. TBS: Your music is super upbeat and fun to dance to, and it’s interesting because you’re from laid back Australia. Did that relaxed culture have an effect on the music you play now? DW: I think it has an effect on our personalities, I don’t know whether musically it did. Our music is a reflection of the music that we love. When I was starting out and being really passionate about music was about when The Avalanches were doing shows in Australia and just before they did their first album was when I first met them and came into contact with them, and I found their music really uplifting and inspiring and really upbeat as well. It almost felt like that sensation musically was something that I would like to express as well, in Cut Copy. In our own way, we felt like we were doing the same thing.

CD REVIEW

Out Now

Ryan adams Ashes & Fire

Lucky number 13 doesn't crash & burn At first glance, it’d be easy to take the new Ryan Adams album, Ashes & Fire, and say, “Wow, this is so boring and so slow; what happened to the Ryan Adams from Rock N Roll? And if he’s going to be slow, why can’t it be like the Ryan Adams of 29?” It’s too easy to be critical of him when he’s not absolutely perfect, because he’s done such amazing music in the past. But with the death of The Cardinals bassist and the subsequent disbandment of the band, it’s no wonder his latest album has been quoted as, “a study in musical minimalism.” Translation: less is more, and Adams shows us that perfectly. After all, this is Ryan Adams thirteenth studio album, so it’s not like this 30-something doesn’t know what he’s doing. Even the title of the album is something interesting to ponder, preferably stoned and with other Ryan Adams’ enthusiasts; don’t ashes normally come after a fire? What does the reverse symbolize? Someone, discuss with me! But no matter what the title signifies, I personally think that Adams no longer making music with The Cardinals is a blessing in disguise. By himself, Adams is much more in control of the music and The Cardinals added a bit too much of that southern honky-tonk that I just can’t fucking stand. While this album is definitely very slow, very soft and very emotional, it’s great music. Sure, it’s not something you’d want

UPCOMING RELEASES

B

to listen to everyday, but would you want to watch The Shawshank Redemption everyday? No, but you can’t deny that it’s a great movie. This album holds its own with the music, but it’s the lyrics and themes that really take this album to a new level. The album starts off slower than the rest, and it starts to pick up midway through with “Chains of Love,” which alludes to a positive feeling of being tied to love, an awesome metaphor that shows that being attached at the hip with someone you love isn’t such a bad thing. In the song “Lucky Now,” Adams sings about growing up and forgetting his past (aw, old people), but apparently still feeling lucky and okay about it: “I don’t remember / were we wild and young / all that faded into memory.” The next song, “I Love You But I Don’t Know What to Say,” ends the album on a really soft, really honest note that you can’t help but appreciate. While Ryan Adams has taken many steps away from the upbeat, high energy rock and roll of his past, he shows us that growing up isn’t so bad. He’s just using his indoor voice more often, with fewer heavy guitar solos. But what did we learn today? That’s right, less is more. Now, shhh. Sounds Like: Sappy, sappy, sappy, but wonderful. Download: Chains of Love, Invisible Riverside, Lucky Now Listen to it When: You’re making out in the rain.

>>>

Noel Gallagher: High Flying Birds Chris Isaak: Beyond the Sun Jane's Addiction: The Great Escape Artist M83: Hurry Up, We're Dreaming

Puscifer: Conditions Of My Parole Drake: Take Care Michael Buble: Christmas Toby Keith: Clancy's Tavern

TBS: You mention that The Avalanches were a big inspiration for you. What else inspires your music? DW: I think it’s a unique combination of stuff, just being inspired by different areas of music, art, film, just different things across the board. A lot comes from bands that we love. For instance Talking Heads, we listened to a lot of Talking Heads in making Zonoscope. It’s just a bit of a patchwork of our experiences and things that we’re inspired by and hopefully just our viewpoint in reinterpreting all of these things ends up being something unique even if really, at the end of the day, we’re just music fans. TBS: Did you write the song “Need You Now” about somebody in particular? DW: One morning I sort of wrote the basis of that track, and had some synths and some keyboards and a drum machine and just kind of penned out the whole thing while I was waiting for Tim and Ben to meet me at my house. And in the few hours that I was waiting for them I ended up putting that track together and doing some quick vocals that sort of fit with it. And, essentially, the vocals were as it appears in the final track, I didn’t change the lyrics at all. So it wasn’t specifically written about someone, it just came off the top of my head that morning. But it fit so well, I couldn’t bring myself to change it. We tried a few alternatives but it just didn’t sound right. TBS: Man, that’s awesome. That’s such a good song, and it’s cool that it kind of came out of nowhere. DW: Yeah, and that’s one of the things I was worried about. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a classic song but when you read about other people who’ve written classic songs often they say they do say it comes out of nowhere, or that the best songs happen really quickly and it’s almost as if it was meant to be. TBS: What else do you like to do when you aren’t playing music? DW: I like to get outdoors a bit, because I spend most of my time indoors when we’re touring. We have this thing we organized, before we started touring, where me, Mitchell and Ben from the band and various other musicians and DJs would play tennis against each other once a week. It got to the point that if there were touring bands or DJs that would be available, we’d get them to come down and play against us. TBS: What other bands have you guys gotten to play tennis with you? DW: We played against the guys from Franz Ferdinand when they were in Australia last, so that was pretty cool. TBS: Who won? DW: I think it was one set off, so we didn’t have a deciding set. They took the first set and we took the second, and I felt like we were going to come back and beat them, but it wasn’t on the scoreboard so it’s hard to say. TBS: Drink of choice? DW: These days I’ve been enjoying red wine before the show, I like a good Merlot. It’s nice, smooth, easy on the vocal cords and provides a good romantic, artistic vibe in the band room. Spirits can get you a little too wasted before the show.

jess sommers wrote this


14

Bartender

of the

www.theblacksheeponline.com

Issue

elt m m u R t t a M Y Bar

Nick Name: Rummy Major: Business Management WMU Alumni Drink Recipe: Mantini - 3 shots Codka and Red Bull Shot Recipe: Red Starburst 1/2 Bacardi Dragon Berry, 1/2 Triplesec and muddled lemons cranberry juice “I Dare You” Recipe: Car Crash - 1 shot Jack Daniels, 1 shot Soco, 1/2 shot tequila, 1/2 triplesec sour and slice Grenadine Porn Name: Pauly 8 Mile Favorite Pick Up Line: "I'm here...what are the other 2 wishes?"

Dream Date: Probably anything with Sloan from Entourage Have you ever hooked up with an employee: No comment Funniest Thing You Have Seen on the Job: Seeing a waitress put 3 cherries and an olive in a glass next to a Redbull when a customer ordered a 3 Olives Cherry with Redbull. Weirdest Place You Have Hooked Up: At work Celebrity You Want to Hang With: At Patty's Pub with the cast of Always Sunny in Philidelphia

recipe for disaster:

drinking game:

Kill Man

Snickers Toast

Having a tarp on hand might be helpful for this game, but there won’t be any need to dispose of evidence, unless something goes horribly wrong, no one dies in this game.

Sure, there’s probably something open at this hour that’ll have a magical aisle full of potent, sugar-laden treats. It’s a block away though, and it’s stupid to walk that far.

What You Need: Some beers and some bros. Number of Players: At least three, but not more than five hundred. Intoxication Level: Not quite “alcohol poisoning” dead.

What You’ll Need: Bread, Nutella, crunchy peanut butter. Cook Time: There’s not really any cooking involved. Fatty Factor: Not great, but it could seriously be worse.

How to Play: -Before each round begins, make sure each player has a beer can. -The game begins with all players opening their beer can at the same time. -All players begin chugging their beer. The first person to finish their beer becomes the “Kill Man.” -Each player opens a new beer, players are not allowed to drink these beers. -At this point, the Kill Man can point to any player at any time, making them drink any amount of beer. -Whichever player finishes their beer first (per Kill Man orders) becomes the Kill Man for the next round.

Let’s Get Baked: -Um, get out all of the ingredients. -Apply the crunchy peanut butter to the bread. -Do the same thing with the Nutella. -You’re done here, unless… -Let’s get freaky with it. Do you want a Snickers ice cream sandwich? Slap some ice cream on that bitch. -Want a Snickers Almond? Chop up some almonds and put them on that bread. -Oh man, enjoy.

The Game Ends When: Someone decides to be a buzzkill, man.

thirsty for more? theblacksheeponline.com/drinkage

Sometimes you just gotta enjoy the simple things in life. Nothing big here, unless you’re big on flavor. Am I right?


can you find all 10 differences!?! Tell us at puzzle@theblacksheeponline.com. First 10 win a prize!


honeymoon:

weird addiction:

Chuy (Chelsea Lately) Zombie Chris Farley Fat Joe Justin Beiber

Mother-in-Law’s Trailer Gwinn, Michigan Seaside Heights, New Jersey Disney World

Cinnabon Laxatives The Maury Show White Zinfandel

maid of honor:

career:

life in 5 years:

Lil Mama Megan McCully Martin Lawrence in a Fat Suit Rosie O’Donnell

Professional Hoarder K-Mart Employee Groupon Data Entry Door Man

No chance of parole Sex Offenders List 8 kids and a dead-end job Plus-sized modeling

wedding entree:

transportation:

pet:

KFC Double Downs Deep Fried Oreos Magic Mushrooms Pixie Stix

Amigo Grappling Hook Greyhound Bus Teal AstroVan

12 Ducks 3-Legged Dog Rosanne Barr Whatever You Catch, You Keep

Answers

best man:

( class time ) Movie Quiz

Circle one option in each category and unlock the mystery to your ideal (or not so ideal) future life.

1. 10 Things I Hate About You 2. 21 Grams 3. 9 1/2 Weeks 4. 25th Hour

MASH

tally box


Western Michigan - 10/12/11 - v03i04