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The Black Sheep FR

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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •

Volume 3, Issue 8 10/25/12 -10/31/12

theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_om

What your dorm says about you barney thompson wrote this Location is always important, be it at a battlefield or an insane asylum. College is, of course, both. Whether you’re in the weathered halls of Kincannon or behind the polished doors of the Residential College, your place of residence speaks volumes about your character. We all know what is going on in Kincannon, you’re not a Rastafarian and it isn’t medicinal. Don’t even dare to cross through the RC lobby without attracting the judgmental glare of the residential lobby rats; it’s like ballroom dancing through a minefield. Walking through the Twin Towers parking lot past 10 p.m. you can’t help but trip over the frat daddies fallen victim to their own ways. The campus becomes a miniature nation, each dorm representing its people and their ways of life; socializing in categories. Find out what your dorm is drunkenly shouting about you. Dorm: Residential College Location: Near absolutely nothing; really dick move there Ole Miss. Description: This is the mixing pot of the strange. An essay response application guarantees that only the weirdest introvert would be placed in this compound of watchful eyes. Prepare for a heavily clique-driven social structure; lobby rat for life. Doors lock at different hours, nothing sends a trip bad like having the door to your fortress barred shut; the peasants were revolting! If you’re an RC kid, you’re socially specific and excel at it. Most Likely To: Read a book. Dorm: Kincannon Location: Somewhere near the two tall ones. Description: Kincannon, fondly referred to as Kincompton, has fallen victim to many successful drug searches. If you’re a residENT here, put aside your herbal propaganda and hide the tie-dyes. If you’re one of the frat daddies living at Kincompton, learn the convenience of a hip flask. UPD is hip - that’s a call back to hip flask - to the substance station that this dorm has become. If you’re living here, stay safe. Most Likely To: Not consent to a search. Dorm: Stockard, one of those two tall dorms Location: Down the hill, it’s tall. You won’t miss it. Description: You’re Greek; the chance that you aren’t is much smaller here than most places. The parking lot is littered with fallen brethren, too ambitious in the night’s efforts; the overzealous fall the hardest. Through some amazing feat, the fallen brethren will sleep through the night and awaken without

top 10: Worst halloween Costumes to Hook Up In Check this out before deciding on your outfit for the night.

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the weight of cuffs on their wrists. Zeus keeps an eye on his drunken people. Most Likely To: Shove a candle up their ass, light it, and say the Greek alphabet forward then backwards. Dorm: The Ridges Location: Next to Kincannon. Description: These are new buildings, so there isn’t much of a reputation... yet. Perhaps its residents fancy an afternoon of tandem-bicycle jousting or maybe they’re all part of an underground organization that has tasked itself with bringing back Colonel Reb. I’m almost positive that isn’t true; if it did happen to be true, I’d imagine you could show your support of these ambitious individuals with a blue bracelet of sorts on your left wrist. Living here makes you quite the lucky one.

what’s inside

bartender of the week

You’ll have a “bangin'” pad to bring your extremely classy women - and I use that adjective quite loosely - to and continue your talk of politics and current events. Don’t forget about that totally boss-hog bathroom of yours either; Kincannon over there can show off that 2012 BMW all night, but really all women want is a clean place to take a shit in private. Most Likely To: Overthrow the establishment. Where you live says a lot about you. “What kind of person would I be without this knowledge?” you might be asking yourself. You’d be that much less of a badass know-it-all. No matter what dorm you live in, there’s going to be some weird shit going on; its best to train a blind eye and pretend that man was not, in fact, wearing an Ole Miss themed gimp-suit. Remember where you come from and wear your dorm with pride.

the black sheep interviews: the hush sound

Martin from The Corner is like a cool hippo, just bee-boppin' around.

After a short hiatus, this Chicago band is back with a reunion tour.

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contents page 4: Hysterically Hilarious Hurried Halloween Habiliment Helper

Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com

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Table of

It's almost Halloween and you were too stoned to think of a costume - let your expectations for the night Halloween decide what last-minute costume you should choose!

page 5: Halloween's Sexiest, Sluttiest Costumes... For Men Women shouldn't have all the fun this year!

page 9: from the streets

What is the most ridiculous Halloween costume you’ve ever seen?

page 10: halloween bingo!

How many skanks can you find while you're out and about on halloween?

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“Yes my pretties, drink, drink the malignant elixir! Muahahehehe!” (Want to become famous next week? Awesome.) Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com

word of the week Internpreter:

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“The internpreter I went to told me that ‘for class credit’ is just a nice way of saying an internship is unpaid.”


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gender cat/hippie Slutty hooker/ box robot/ risque bizniz neutral ghost ryan locthe


The Top 10

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Worst Costumes to Hook Up In

Halloween’s Sexiest, Sluttiest Costumes… for Men tex mex wrote this There’s always that one sourpuss who complains about how revealing women’s costumes are come Halloween, but let’s be serious here: No level of white knighted-ness is going to stop girls from partaking in such a rousing night of miniskirts, bunny ears, or nothing at all. But with so many scantily clad sailors, soldiers and nurses, Halloween is growing a little stale on the female front. Here are some costume ideas for men so they can spice things up for that one night where guys can just be slutty for a change: French Manservant: Lace up a dude with heels, stockings, a blouse, and a little hat, and you’ve got yourself a bona fide French manservant who isn’t afraid to “get into those tight corners.” A guy can even add in a feather duster to accentuate his manly arms whilst getting some cleaning done around the apartment. No matter what accessories you tack on, you still won’t have to shave your legs. David Bowie: It’s not cross-dressing, but it’s pretty damn close. If you have the time (and the funds) to turn yourself into the glitter-dazzled, fire red-haired wonder that was 70s Bowie, then there’s no way you wouldn’t be able to get Ziggy with it. With enough androgyny to confuse Boy George, you’ll attract the eyes of both sexes no matter where you go with that skin-tight, god-knows-what-material suit and those sunken cheekbones that scream, “I’m not afraid to be ‘Under Pressure’!” Also, the Bowie Bulge, if any lesser man can manage it, is always a plus. UPS Man: Just to get it out of the way, yes, the endless barrage of your friends drunkenly sputtering, “Do you have a package for me?” and commenting on the thigh high short-shorts is going to grow tiresome, but being a UPS delivery man has way more benefits than simply dropping off the goods. For one, it opens up windows of opportunity such as showing up to parties completely unannounced and at the worst possible time. You could even do something goofy like bringing a Sharpie along to have people “sign for their package” on your skin, which could either be phenomenally hysterical or abysmally traumatizing the next morning. Think Momento with

less important reminders and more poorly-drawn penises. Cupid: If girls can pass off concealing 10% of their skin as a costume, then a guy donning nothing more than a diaper/cheetah-print Speedo and a quiver full of phallic arrows should be acceptable. As the Angel of Love, you may not have the same appeal as a buff Tarzan or the Old Spice guy, but you instead have the responsibility of being one hell of a wingman. Even on Halloween, the line between “hilariously adorable” and “public indecency” is regrettably unclear. Genghis Khan: Was he the best looking ancient warlord? Probably not. But the power dynamic of being a fearsome, tyrannical conqueror of many a nation offers a hefty bit of attraction. But for a guy’s sexual sphere to peak at 2,000 to 3,000 women, there’s got to be an overlooked tender side to him. It’s either that, or Genghis Khan was just a complete and totally shameless manwhore. The armored costume might not be the most revealing of the night, but using “I’m the sluttiest emperor the Mongolian Empire has ever seen” as a pickup line will definitely cause some swooning. Slutty Abraham Lincoln: He’s America’s favorite sixteenth president and an absolute heartthrob. He may have not had the charisma of Bill Clinton or the spirited charm of JFK, but Abe Lincoln’s “Work hard, play hard” attitude (which was his campaign slogan) stands as the staple for this costume’s rugged manliness and political promiscuity. Just toss on a top hat, a fake beard, prosthetic mole, and a pair of button pants with cufflinks, and you’ll be ready to emancipate this proclamation. If things become too risqué, just toss on a hoodie to become Casual Abraham Lincoln, one more focused on just chilling and having a lax time, man. Gentlemen, don’t be afraid to show a little skin this Halloween season. You’ve been hitting the gym hard enough; it’s time to show off what you’ve got. Unless you’ve already gained your freshman fifteen this early on in the year. In that case, just stay out of our sight, please. Or be a marshmallow!

10.) Pikachu: Just envision this for a second. Things are getting real hot and heavy, and this chick you snagged seems to be down for anything. She starts to unzip your pants and head down south, but instead of focusing on the good feeling, all you can see is your favorite childhood character and its electric tail bouncing up and down around your knees. Pika! Pika! 9.) Hot Dog or Banana Suit: Not only are these unoriginal, but their full-length zippers should strike fear in any male. If you bring home a kinky lil’ thing, make sure she takes it slow. Last thing you want to do is snip your weenie off before the big moment. 8.) Cardboard Robot: You’ll be lucky if you even get a girl back to your place in this clunky, awkward thing. It can’t be that easy to grind on chicks at the bar in this boxy outfit, let alone make it through the door. And nothing hurts more than a cardboard cut on the dong. 7.) Anything With a Mask: Face it, you got a costume with a mask because you’re absolutely hideous. How happy do you think your hook up will be when she finds out you’re actually more disgusting than a bloody zombie? Or you can always just keep wearing the mask and hope that makes things better, although that makes oral sex a bit difficult to accomplish. 6.) Expensive Rental Costume: You know the rules: You break it, you buy it. Ditch the elaborate Marie Antoinette-style dress on Halloween. You’ll be too lazy to take the costume off the right way; ripping and tearing will ensue. And a little bad aim will leave you trying to convince the costume shop that the semen stain was really there before you rented it. Good luck. 5.) Duct Tape Crayola Crayon: Sure, making your own duct tape outfit is cheap, creative, and a great way to show off your well-toned bod, but it can’t be that pleasant to take off. Besides the sweat that will build up and fester under the tape during the night, ripping it off in a fit of passion is sure to remove some skin as well. Ouch. 4.) Something That Involves a Lot of Bare Skin: Being a surfer bro or never-nude Tobias Fünke gives you a chance to show off your washboard abs, and what girl doesn’t like that? But Halloween night is going to be a chilly one, and you’ll be begging for more layers after a while. Freezing your ass off makes for an awkward bedroom moment when she pulls off your boxers and shrinkage has taken its toll. 3.) Baby: Aw, how precious. Your cute little diaper, button nose, curly pigtails, and the pacifier you keep seductively rubbing across your lips. If he has a younger sister, this is all that’s going to be running through his mind while you’re on top. And two, if he continues to bang you after this realization, dude’s a perv, and you should bounce. 2.) Member of the Opposite Sex: Yeah that guy may be totally hot underneath the fake boobs, blonde wig, and mini skirt, but having to strip that all off of him feels a bit … odd, doesn’t it? Oh my God, what if it isn’t a guy underneath? What if he’s really a she? Things sure got hot in a hurry. 1.) Penis Suit: Needless to say, she’ll be quite disappointed when your shlong ain’t as long and girthy as the one you were wearing all night.

kitty kat wrote this


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THURS, 10/25

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$6 1/2 lb. Footlong Chili Cheese Dog (w/ Chips or Fries)

Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife

2 for 1 on Everything until 9pm Penny Pitchers 9-10pm

$1 PBR and Keystone DJ Wade 

FRI, 10/26

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Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife

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$6 Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich (w/ Chips or Fries)

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Beer and Shot Night Buy a Beer, Get a Free Shot

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Flip Wednesday: Call it right, the drinks are on us!

Whiskey Wing Day! FREE Wings and $3 Whiskey Drinks

WED, 10/31


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theblacksheeponline.com

bartender of the week martin t. the corner Relationship status: Taken Major: Marketing Worst drink ever: Prairie fire whiskey and hot sauce. What’s your favorite dance move?: The shopping cart. If you could create a holiday what would it be? Sunday Funday, like in Doug when he created an 8-day week that was Monday through Sunday and after Sunday was Funday. If there were a drink named after you what would it be called and what would be in it? The Trip and Fall, made with a whole, whole, whole lot of whiskey and a tiny bit of Coke.

the drinking game

What’s the most embarrassing thing your mom has ever found out about you? I had lost a pair of Aviator Ray Bans and my mom found them in the guest bedroom of my grandparent’s house next to a condom wrapper, and that was how she found out I lost my virginity. If your life were a movie what actor would play you? Will Ferrell If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why? X-ray vision, that’s self-explanatory. What animal do you most resemble? People tell me I have the personality of a hippo because they look cool just bee-bopping around in the water, but then they can be mean if you mess with them.

Recipe for Disaster

hocus pocus

pumpk’n pudd’n

For anyone who ever had an ounce of a real childhood, October is all about the Thirteen Nights of Halloween on ABC Family. Between sexy high school virgins and Sarah Jessica Parker as a witch, Hocus Pocus is bound to get anyone going.

‘Tis the season for jack o’ lanterns and stealing candy out of the hands of little, helpless children (okay, we’re not that heartless. We leave them a Skittle or two). This will put your excess pumpkins to use, in case you have some leftovers after throwing your pumpkin guts at the neighbors.

What You’ll Need: Beer and Hocus Pocus. Number of Players: As many as you can get. Everyone loves it, shouldn’t be too hard. Level of Intoxication: Great game to a get an early night buzz going. How to Play: - Sit back with some brewskies and watch Hocus Pocus. Anytime something on this list appears in the film, you must drink your beer for a few seconds. - Drink when: - A spell is cast. - Sarah Jessica Parker sings. - Someone mentions a virgin. - The black flame candle is mentioned. - Binks (in cat or human form) says “Emily.” - Max gets bullied. - Bette Midler says “sisters.” - Sarah Jessica Parker flirts. - The magic book’s eye moves. - If someone forgets to drink, they must shotgun a new can of beer. The Game Ends When: Spoiler Alert: The witches turn to stone! Shotgun your last beer, and enjoy the rest of the magical night.

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What You’ll Need: A pumpkin, rice, milk, brown sugar, and ground cinnamon. Cook Time: 45 minutes (but it’s well worth the wait!). Fatty Factor: You’ll get a hell of a sugar high but nothing too serious. Let’s Get Baked: - Combine 1 cup of rice, 3 cups of milk, and 1 cup of brown sugar in a saucepan. - Heat and stir until the mixture boils. - Continue to stir until rice is tender and most of the milk is absorbed. - Mix in a separate bowl 1 cup of mashed pumpkin and 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon. - Take your new mixture and put it into your heated concoction. - Stir in 1/2 cup of milk until it looks like a pudding mixture. - Let cool or chill in a refrigerator. - Once it’s set, dive on in and enjoy! If you’re trying to get real fancy wit’ it, sprinkle some cinnamon, pecans and whipped cream on top. This pudding will make you feel like you just got laid by someone who actually likes and respects you. No more pity sex, ever!

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From the Streets

[PartyPics]

Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com

What is the most ridiculous Halloween costume you’ve ever seen?

“I saw a redhead wearing loaves of bread around his neck with a sign that said “Ginger Bread Man.” - Courtney B., Sophomore

“A guy wearing a genie lamp costume with the spout coming out the front like, you know…” - Brandon R., Junior

“My friend dressed up as corn on the cob. She wanted us all to go as parts of Thanksgiving dinner, but when we showed up she was the only one that had gone through with it.” - Maggie D., Freshman

send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com

(View and Send Pics from our iPhone & Android App! Search black sheep mobile)


play Halloween bingo! Send in pictures that lead to BINGO and win a prize! Email us at bingo@theblacksheeponline.com

Playboy Bunny

Pirate

French Maid

Cheerleader

Nurse

Beer Wench

Firefighter

Toga

Hippie

Cat woman

School Girl

Pilot

Angel

Bumble Bee

Devil

Ladybug

Police Officer

Girl scout

Sailor

Fairy

Cave Girl

Witch

Disney Princess

Jailbird


the interview

the hush sound

The Hush Sound is a Chicago rock band that plays music and has also been known to eat food. After going on hiatus in 2009, they recently announced a reunion tour across the Midwest. To celebrate, we deigned to speak with vocalist and guitarist Bob Morris, as well as vocalist and pianist Greta Morgan. They were nice. By: Brendan The Black Sheep: What brought about The Hush Sound doing a reunion tour after being on hiatus for several years? Bob Morris: It was a perfect storm. We were happy just doing shows together once in a while, but our personal lives just all lined up. Greta and I got back in touch, we’ve grown in some cool ways and we’re all excited to play music together again, so we decided to tour. TBS: When you say, “getting back in touch,” what do you mean by that? Like, what to what degree did you guys stay in touch when you were on hiatus? Bob: Stressing about the break, or without the understanding of what we were, there wasn’t that much communication. Time heals all wounds. We realized that there wasn’t anything actually wrong, it was just issues we created ourselves. The day I quit this other band I instinctually called Greta. She’s like family, even if we were mad at each other at some point. Eventually we started hanging out and playing music, and we decided to do a tour. TBS: What’s it like preparing for a tour when you haven’t played music together regularly for several years? Greta Morgan: We take it on a show-by-show basis. We’ve played a few times a year for the past three years. Whether they were private college shows or hometown Chicago shows, we’ve been getting together, rehearsing the songs. Approaching these old songs, we can find something new in an old lyric, something that’s about our lives now. I mean, I wrote most of these songs before I graduated high school, and we put out our last album when I was 18, I think. TBS: So do you ever look back at your songs and say, “What the hell was I thinking?” Bob: Yes, I do think that sometimes. At the same time, when you say

something and you’re young, it’s before you’ve seen anything in the world, so it’s this primal, reactionary thing. I think there’s something special about a band’s first album that is hard to replicate, but as you do it again you get better and better at expressing yourself. TBS: Is there anything where it’s just too embarrassing, where it’s just like, “No way we’re doing this song?” Greta: Oh yeah. Bob: Oh yeah. Greta: That’s what I was saying about finding something new about a song. There are a few songs during rehearsal where Bob would say, “There’s no emotion to your vocals,” but it’s hard to flash back to when you’re 16 so you can feel it. Bob would say, “Try it like it’s an instrument—like you’re a trombone player or it’s a flute.” Bob saying that all of a sudden shows you this old thing in a new way and you can find something new in it. TBS: What do you expect to get out of this short tour? Greta: It’s just an experiment to see how much fun we can have touring and playing together. Also, it’s really exciting to reconnect with fans that saw us in 2005 or 2006, their tastes have changed, as have ours. Beyond that, it’s wild to see these kids all grown up with their husbands or wives or kids. It’s a wild transition. Bob: And to your point about music taking on a new meaning, a friend of ours, Eric from Gold Motel (Ed. Note: Greta’s other band) just tweeted about how music you listen to when you’re 14 to 17 sticks with you. I know what he’s talking about—when I listen to some of the punk I listened to growing up, I think “Man, some of this is really awful.” TBS: Yeah, I know an embarrassing amount of KoRn songs. Speaking of touring, what’s the weirdest venue you’ve played

in? Bob: We’ve played in a parking lot of Augusta, Georgia when the promoter didn’t have a PA, and a club in Long Island that had glass showers all around the club. Greta: Yeah, it was a strip club turned into a rock club. It was superweird. When we started we’d play basements, Legion halls and VFWs. TBS: How do you engage with a crowd when you’re on stage? Greta: It’s really up to the band to start the ignition, but whether or not the audience responds in an excited, unguarded way, or if they stand back and just hang out, that determines how a show will go. Bob: And however potent the ecstasy is that we hand out before the show.


the classtime Husband: • Rob Zombie • Pinhead • Count von Count • Mike Myers

Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House.

wedding dinner: • BRAAAAAAAAAINS!!! • Franken Berry • The blood of 1,000 babies

wife: • Elvira, Mistress of the Dark • Carrie White • Roseanne Barr • Samara Morgan met at: • A pet sematary •Those hills that have eyes • The house at the end of the street • Camp Crystal Lake

• Liver, with fava beans and a nice chianti

Honeymoon Destination: • Sunny Transylvania • A cabin in the woods • Amityville • The Overlook Hotel favorite rom-com: • Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness • Troll 2 • Killer Klowns from Outer Space • The Killer Condom

double date couple: • The Frankensteins • Jack Skellington and Sally • Chucky and his bride • Gomez and Morticia Addams How you die: • By creepy kids • A zombie attack • Becoming possessed • Stabbing. Lots of stabbing. shared tombstone quote: • “ ‘Till death do us fart!” • “We’ll be back.” • “Eh. Have you seen a horror movie?” • “Paging Dr. Frankenstein!”

some dots on the page until a friend (or your brain) tells you to stop. Starting with M.A.S.H., go around the board crossing off whatever How to play Doodle option corresponds with your number. Go around the board until only one of each category is left. That, my friend, is your future. Enjoy it.

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Ole Miss Fall Issue 8 - 10/25/12  

Ole Miss Fall Issue 8 - 10/25/12

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