Page 1

The Black Sheep

fre con e...lik dom e you s. A r r nd oomm too thb ate rus ’s h.

Vol.5, Issue 1

The College Newspaper That's Actually About College

9/5/13 - 9/18/13

We’re All Groveaholics BY: Knowlton Bourne “Hi, I’m Daniel,” the room roared back, “HI DANIEL.” I looked around at all the sad faces denied of their love for so many days, weeks, months. You see, we are all here for a reason, a reason that is embedded in our bones. It is a reason that nags at us every waking hour of our lives. I too am one of these deprived souls trembling from the addiction in my bloodstream, the incessant need for more. I look around and see students with pale flushed faces eyeballing the ground. I see lawyers and business men, disheveled and unkempt, tears in their eyes at what they have become. Women in high heels with mascara flooding down their cheeks. This is what we are, hopeless and neglected human beings just waiting, counting down the days until we can have what is truly our only love. Many of us have neglected our families and loved ones. We have shown that our addiction has priority over our lives and we are okay with that. We are okay with the fact that although the building blocks of our home and work lives are crumbling, we will always have our love, our addiction. We all have one thing in common. “I’m Daniel, and I am a raging Groveaholic.” My first experience with The Grove was something that I will always cherish and never forget. I was invited to The Grove when I was in high school by an older friend who was a junior at Ole Miss. I drove up to Oxford on Saturday morning, not knowing what to expect other than some football and sunshine. As I meandered onto campus from my friend’s apartment I felt the crisp fall air batter my face and the smell of cigarettes and whiskey burrow into my nostrils. Little did I know I was looking at the face of God. Everyone looked perfect, dressed to the nines with a stout Solo cup in hand, full to the brim with Wild Turkey and Sprite and not a hair out of place. The men were discussing the ins and outs of the SEC and chanting “HOTTY TODDY.” The women were bouncing through a maze of red and blue tents, their hair flowing like a keg on frat row. Chicken and beer were essentially hailing from the skies into the tents and hearts of every tailgater. I was in disbelief at the sheer

beauty this land and these people possessed. I had not only found my home, I had found my calling, my Mecca, my addiction. I attended every Grove get-together for the next four years, cherishing every inch of our beautiful campus and beautiful people. It was my home, where I wanted to exist permanently. If there is a heaven, it looks just like The Grove during an Ole Miss football game. That was just the beginning. My addiction got the best of me. From the months of December to September I began to find myself in The Grove at four and five in the morning covered in vomit, cigarette butts, and stale Miller High Life. I would dream about The Grove and

all of its glory. I would wake up to find myself cold and nowhere near the excitement and beauty that is The Grove. It is a sad day when the cold hard facts of addiction barrel down on all of your dreams and expectations, crushing your hope in humanity and life. That’s why I’m here. That is why I am in this sad white room with stained linoleum floors and cork bulletin boards full of inspirational posters to help us defeat our addiction. That is why I am sitting in a circle with all the other sad bottom feeders and addicts that can’t live without The Grove during football season. I am Daniel, and I am a Groveaholic.

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Being in a Very Uncomfortable Place

The Black Sheep Interviews: A Moped Bro

Chase from The Corer is Bigfoot at heart.

Yeesh, it’s about to get ugly quick.

Well, it was more like an interrogation, but we needed some answers.

• Keep Up With Us! • @BlackSheep_OM • •

Bartender of the week

>> Table of Contents << page 5: On the Streets >> What’s the first thing you did after you got back to Oxford?


page 6: Top 10: Ways to Avoid Looking Like a Freshman >> Ditch the lanyard as soon as humanly possible. page 9: Drinking game & recipe for disaster >> We play dice (or do we?) and make you some Big Boy Chili.

pages 10-11: The Least Anticipated Albums of Fall 2013 >> From Jack Johnson to Drake, we look at the albums that we probably won’t look at again.



page 12: The Madlib: Meeting your Roommate’s Parents >> In which, naturally, you are drunk and then hungover.

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The Black Sheep

Celebrity Before & After Just like Jeopardy!, our before and after asks you to pair two unlike things, sharing only a word. Because we’re as vapid as the rest of you, a celebrity name will always be involved. Tweet your answer @BlackSheep_OM and use #goodtimes for a chance to win a prize!

Friendly Chicago blues legend that would weep openly if compared to male Food Network face.

Around campus Send us your party pics from around campus to

on the Streets What’s the first thing you did after you got back to Oxford? M a rc y

“Hit The Square for Grove wear!”

Something’s getting tapped, am I right?! Ja m es

“Got a date for the weekend.”


“Won a case race.”


being in a very uncomfortable place




Ways to Avoid Looking Like a Freshman By: Emily Parish

As fall semester begins Ole Miss is once again flooded with new students, mostly freshmen. Even freshmen don’t want to be freshmen, so freshmen, here’s how not to be a freshman. 10.) Don’t get a tray in The Union: The easiest way to spot freshmen in The Union is to look for kids carrying their fast food bags on a lunch tray. Most upperclassmen don’t even know the trays exist. Forget the tray and proceed through the line as quickly as possible. 9.) Look both ways: Many upperclassmen have to look for parking spots on campus,, which can be hell with freshmen aimlessly wandering into the street. Your mother taught you to look both ways before crossing the street. It applies here, too. 8.) Ditch the lanyard: Lanyards may seem like a convenient way to carry your room key, ID, or even phone, but they only make it more obvious that you’re a freshman. For the sake of all that is good please burn the bedazzled lanyard.

By: Barney Thompson It seems to happen year after year - the professor is waist deep in a rant that you only understand half the words of, when you a see hand timidly rise. You notice the hand belongs to, of course, a freshman. The professor, caught in the trance-like state of professing, lets the freshman’s question go unanswered until a clearing of the throat breaks his totally-not-amphetamine-induced focus. The smallest shred of optimism paints the professor’s face; at least one of these substanceadoring teens might actually be interested in his lecture. With the slightest smile, the professor gestures to the young man. That was the last moment anyone in that class was ever comfortable again. The poor son of a bitch, before he could even finish his question, “Can I use the bathroom?” the professor collected the entirety of his knowledge and hurled it at the freshman in the form of a thirty minute lecture on why he should not be allowed to reproduce. It got ugly quick. He started by pointing out that no bathrooms would be found in this building, though there were restrooms assuming his need to bathe could be satisfied at a later time. This is when the freshman’s look of confusion began to transform into full-on sadness. Around the fourteen minute mark the professor pulled up and began going through the young man’s family tree, pointing out three mentally ill family members and what looked to be “a shaved monkey with glasses,” though it was then pointed out by a fellow student that the shaved monkey was actually the woman who birthed the now-crying freshman. One brave girl attempted to point out that the professor was being “like, way harsh.’’ While sources cannot confirm, we believe the girl has


since been moved to an asylum a few miles out of Munich. For his big finale, the walking god complex of a professor offered extra credit to any student who would throw a ball of paper at the freshman; a free hundred for every piece of paper thrown with their name on it. Roughly a forest’s worth of paper was then hurled at the poor soul. With his point made to satisfaction, the professor dismissed class, and students piled out as though nothing had happened. Most students politely stepped over what use to be a happy young man, anxious to learn. Some simply trampled over him. As the last of the students trickled out, the professor kneeled over the more-or-less conscious kid and asked him, “You know you deserved this, right?” The student said nothing. His only response was the puddle forming beneath him. The professor tossed him a towel, and before leaving, finally answered his question. “Feel free to go to the restroom at any time. I do ask that you do so quietly, interrupting the class is my absolute biggest pet peeve.” Neither student nor teacher could be reached for comment, as the freshman’s whereabouts are currently unknown and the professor refused to the lower the draw bridge to Castle Grayskull. Not all professors are evil geniuses bent on destroying that small shred of confidence you are somehow able to muster. Most of them, in fact, want to make your life better in some manner. Just please remember, the dictatorship of high school classrooms is gone, feel free to dismiss yourself when nature calls.

7.) Dress down for class: Mississippi is hot in August. If you want to wear skinny jeans to walk to class, be our guest. If you look like you’re about to hit The Square, however, reevaluate your attire. 6.) Get rid of the campus map: Yes, you’re afraid of getting lost on campus, but at Ole Miss no one is going to look down on you for asking an upperclassman for directions. We’re actually very friendly and helpful, except when trying to get a parking spot; that blood on the hood isn’t from a deer. Do yourself a favor and get your nose out of that campus map and approach someone for directions. It’ll do you good to get out of your comfort zone. 5.) Don’t show up to The Square before 10:00 a.m.: In college, there is a wonderful event called a pregame. Embrace it. Stay at the pregame until 10:00 a.m. You don’t want to be the awkward kid standing around before the party starts. 4.) Learn to be savvy about textbook purchases: Freshman year, you may not realize that there are cheaper places to get textbooks than the Ole Miss bookstore. Venture off campus. Rebel Bookstore near the square and Campus Book Mart by the Malco are both great places to get cheaper textbooks, and the lines are shorter too. 3.) Get familiar with the Greek alphabet: Whether you decide to rush or not, knowing the Greek alphabet can be useful on a heavily Greek-influenced campus, Ole Miss for example. You don’t want to be the kid asking for directions to a fraternity house when you’re standing directly in front of it. 2.) Don’t go too crazy: On The Square, it’s obvious which freshmen are experiencing nightlife for the first time. Please do it wisely. For example, get out of the street. You not only put yourself in danger of roadraged designated drivers, but you also subject yourself to a nice conversation with Oxford PD. Contrary to popular belief, the police horses are not there for your drunk petting zoo. Even though you provide entertainment for upperclassmen, you should reign in your behavior before you get into real trouble. 1.) Learn to deal: College is the best time of your life, so remember to enjoy it. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Living away from home for the first time can be hard, but take advantage of your newfound freedom. Always remember to keep yourself in check, but don’t overthink it too much. Ultimately, if you learn to roll with the punches and pick yourself up after you fall down, you’ll have a great first year.

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The black sheep interviews: By: black sheep staff The Black Sheep recently had the chance to cover a very serious issue. An issue you may not have been aware of. It’s Moped Bros. They’ve had it with societal condemnation. A young man should be able to have a totally sweet time on the back of his bro’s sick moped without fear of being judged. But nothing’s being done to quell this aforementioned judgment, and one brave, young man has had enough. He agreed to an interview with The Black Sheep to make aware the plight of the Moped Bros., and we couldn’t be more thrilled. In this interview, he will remain anonymous, of course. But we will say his name rhymes with…Bravis. The Black Sheep: Hey, [redacted]. How’ve you been? Anonymous Moped Bro: I’ve been doing pretty good. Really, just a great week all around. This room smells kinda funny, though. TBS: That’s great. So, [redacted], let’s get to brass tacks. What exactly is a “Moped Bro” to you? AMB: Excuse me? TBS: The term “Moped Bro.” Does it resonate with you? AMB: I mean, like, sometimes my friend, [redacted], gives me a ride to school on his moped, if that’s what you mean. He drives; I ride in the back. We do it to save on a bit of gas. What are we doing here?

a moped bro TBS: Uh-huh. And how does that make you feel? AMB: Huh? TBS: Do you feel subjugated? Patronized by society? You must be so ashamed. AMB: What? TBS: It’s okay. You have nothing to be afraid of. You’re not alone anymore. AMB: Guy, I don’t know what you’re talking about. TBS: Well, I can see that the subject is a bit…personal for you. That’s fine. It’s perfectly normal to be defensive at a time like this. Let’s move on. When did you realize you were a Moped Bro? AMB: I’m still not totally sure what that means. TBS: It means the injustice being directed towards you is pungent. We’re not going to stand for that. We’re here to help. AMB: I don’t want your help. I want to get out of here. Get this light out of my face. TBS: Wait, [redacted]! We need you for this. There are so many out there just like you. They need you; someone to stand up for them! If you don’t stop this madness, who will? AMB: Again, I’m still not clear on what the “madness” is.

TBS: Why, the subjugation and objectification of Moped Bros.! Surely that’s why you agreed to this interview. To help put a stop to it. AMB: I thought this was a sleep study. TBS: We’ll get to that later. AMB: I just want to go home. TBS: I think you’ll find that quite difficult with the thrice locked door. AMB: What? TBS: And the room being windowless and all. AMB: Oh, my god. You’re actually insane.

TBS: I will flay you! AMB: Jesus, man!

TBS: Hey! Don’t you judge me! I bust my ass trying to help you and your kind and this is the thanks I get? The goddamn stink-eye? AMB: Dude, you’re scaring me.

TBS: Sorry, went back to Bad way too quickly. AMB: Really, I just want to go home.

TBS: You’re damn right I am. This is Bad Cop. Want me to go back to Good? AMB: Look, guy, I’m sure you’re super chill and all, but…I think there’s a bit of a misunderstanding here. TBS: What’s to misunderstand? You’re a bro and also you ride on a moped with your bro. You’re a Moped Bro. AMB: Yeah, but…I guess I didn’t really think about –

TBS: But…I can’t go back to HQ with nothing. They might actually flay me. AMB: Well, I’m really sorry man – TBS: Just… give me a quote. Give me something! AMB: Uh, leave the Moped Bros. alone? There you have it folks, right from the mouth of our anonymous source. Your assortment of apathy and contempt for the Moped Bros. is literally killing them. This problem ends with you. Please, let the Moped Bros. go.


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The Grid Welfare Wednesday: $1 Drafts & $2 Wells 8-10:30

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Check out our great food specials all week long!


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$0.25 Cent Wings til 9 Penny Pitchers All Night!

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MONDAY: $0.25 Cent Wings til 9 Penny Pitchers All Night!

Penny Pitchers 9-10


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Tequila Tuesday 2 for $2 Tequila Shots 2 for 1 Margaritas


$3.00 Pints, $5.00 Beer Flight Sampler

Flip Night!

Happy Hour: $10 Burger and Bottomless Beer Night: $3 Levee Lemonade $3 Margaritas $3 Slammers/ Lemon Drops

Welfare Wednesday: $1 Drafts & $2 Wells 8-10:30

Bartender of the Week Relationship Status: Single Major: Exercise Science Favorite Drink: Vodka and water Favorite Shot: Fireball Disgusting Drink: Tequila and Sprite Where would you rather be right now?: The beach. What drink is the biggest pain in the ass to make?: Stupid made-up shots.

Chase of The Corner

What’s weirdest thing you’ve

found in the bar?: An iPhone in the toilet. If you could be a mythical creature, what would it be?: Bigfoot   Describe how you feel about yourself in five words: Roll mother f***ing tide, roll.   Do you think you could take a bobcat in a fight?: F*** yeah I could.   What TV show are you most excited to have back?: SportsCenter  Describe this bar in hashtags.: #buschwackersandwings

Recipe for disaster

Drinking Game Liar’s Dice

Big Boy Chili

We all lie, whether it’s to our parents as to why we’re so tired, or to our friends as to why making out with that uggo was a totally reasonable thing to do. Translate that love for deceit into a game of gambling: Liar’s Dice.

It’s football season, bitches. If you’re not out standing in the stadium, cheering on your team like a MAN, then you better be inside in front of the TV with a six pack and a tub of chili. Oh, no chili? We got you covered.

What You’ll Need: Six dice per player, one opaque cup per player, some beer. Number of Players: 2+ Level of Intoxication: You’ll be asking what’s the haps on the craps (in your pants). How to Play: • The object of the game is to be the last player with any dice left. • Each player rolls a die. The highest score will be the first person to act for the first hand. Each hand first to act rotates left of this person. • Now, each player uses the cup to shake up his or her dice. Each player places the cup top-down on the table. Each player secretly looks at his dice. Twos through sixes are worth face value. Ones are wild. • The first player to act must make a bet on the number and quantity of the total dice on the table. For example, a bettor can claim “there are four sixes at the table.” • The player to the left of the first bettor may do one of three things: • Increase the number of total dice on the table (raising four sixes to seven sixes, for example). • Increase the dice value (Raise three twos to three threes). • Challenge (Stop play, dice are revealed to see if the most recent bettor wins or loses). • If a challenge occurs and there are equal or greater numbers of dice on the table than the last bettor (including wilds), he or she wins. If there is less than the total number of gambled dice on the table, the challenger wins. • The loser removes a die and drinks for three seconds. The Game Ends When: Only one player has any dice left. Great, you won. Now head to confession, sinner.

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What You’ll Need: Oil, a crockpot, a frying pan, ground beef, a can of diced tomatoes, 4 cans of kidney beans, a can of tomato paste, chopped onions, a can of beef broth, chili powder, sliced hot dogs, brown sugar and garlic Cook Time: About 3 hours, be patient Fatty Factor: MEN DON’T COUNT CALORIES Let’s Get Baked: • In the frying pan, break up and cook the ground beef in a little oil until it is browned. • Turn on your crockpot to medium heat and add in the beef and hot dog slices with the tomatoes, tomato paste, half of your beans and beef broth. • Cover the pot and let the chili simmer for about an hour. • Add in the remainder of ingredients (the other half of the beans, onion, chili powder, brown sugar and garlic) and continue to let the chili cook on the low setting, covered for another hour and half. • Taste test! Make sure it’s hot and flavored nicely. If not, make the adjustments. YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR WOMAN MAKE THIS FOR YOU.

nomnomnomnom 09

The Least-Anticipated 2013 has been a fantastic year for music. With great new releases from Youth Lagoon, Chance The Rapper, Vampire Weekend, Pity Sex, Major Lazer and The World is a Beautiful Place & I am no Longer Afraid to Die, you would hope the final third of this year of our lord has something great in store.

Hall of Fame Big Sean - August 27th Big Sean is a hack who pairs a massive ego with miniscule rhymes. Dude raps like he has a mouth full of wind chimes and his best song has a Nicki Minaj verse on it. Big Sean is on that CyHi level on G.O.O.D Music where you just wonder why the hell Ye’ still keeps him on there, but at least CyHi has “Ray-Ban Vision” and his verse on “So Appalled.” Big Sean’s claim to fame is the phrase “ass quake.” Next time someone tells you that the Detroit mixtape is one of the best albums of 2012, break their jaw. Big Sean thinks his verse on “Control” (which won’t even be on the album) was better than Kendrick’s or Jay Electronica’s because Big Sean is the EXACT type of pompous jackass who would read how much praise someone besides him is getting on a song he’s on, only to get jealous about the pub, so he says he’s better. He’s the guy who not only will jump off the bridge if everyone else is doing it, but he’ll jump off the Ambassador Bridge, claim that it was cooler than everyone else who jumped off the Golden Gate, and say that anyone who disagrees is a hater.

Prediction: Certified Platinum

Speaking of taking a plunge, Big Sean needs to find a void to fall in, never to return to plague us with rhymes as lame as “Now we out in Paris, yeah I'm Perriering / White girls politicking, that's that Sarah Palin.” Every day, nursing home geriatrics take shits hotter than the best Big Sean verse out there. This album is going to absolutely suck, yet will go platinum, making it a commercial success but an absolute waste of musical talent surrounding Sean Michael Anderson. Not even production from arguably the hottest producer out right now in Hit-Boy, who created the beat for “Goldie,” “N***s in Paris,” and “Clique,” can save Big Sean from audibly tripping over his own feet trying to pronounce a word with more than two syllables.

From Here to Now to You Jack Johnson - (Sept. 17th) Everyone listening to this album will be too stoned or too stupid to realize that Jack Johnson is the worst. Every single Jack Johnson song sounds the same. That sentiment gets used often in music, but never has it been quite so apt. Seriously, go put on Jack Johnson Radio on Pandora or something and try to figure out when one song ends and another begins. We’ll wait. Oh you fell asleep already? Sorry about that. Anyway, we need another Jack Johnson album like we need another Olive Garden. The parallells between the two are eerie.There are already plenty, and they are all perfectly mediocre and should never be utilized by sentient beings, yet there’ll always be someone convinced to go back for the breadsticks. Or something like that. The next album has just about zero chance to be any different. If Jack Johnson suddenly becomes something other than generic shitty stoner guitar music, it would cause a rip in the space-time continuum, letting in massive terrifying, spliffed monsters that would demand all of our couches and all of our Cheetos. If he drops something that’s not bland guitar and soft vocals, we’d be more frightened than impressed. Expect more of the same, unfortunately. Maybe he will just re-release “Banana Pancakes” and stretch it for like 45 minutes. That’s probably better than whatever this will be.

Prediction: Certified OG Kush

Albums of Fall 2013 Unfortunately, you would be wrong, as there is plenty of music scheduled to be released that is sure to be nothing short of an atrocity. Here are the five albums I’m least excited for in the Fall of 2013. By: Noel Purcell

Nothing Was the Same Drake - September 24th Stupid Drake. He still has that same monotone drawl that lulls you to sleep, and that same boring, lazy flow that makes him perfect in every generic white girl’s sex playlist on Spotify, nestled in between The Weeknd and “Burn” by Usher. The evolution of Drake has been commercial rather than musical, because in the end he is still exactly what he was when Best I Ever Had dropped in 2009: a soft, shitty, whiny fuckboy. Between the overrated, overstated, and wholly underwhelming cryfest that is Take Care and the absolute trainwreck that is “Started From the Bottom” (a song so soft that white bread suburban teenagers sipping bottles of Moet poolside while the maids clean the house took to it like ducks to water) the odds that we end up with anything more than Charmin Ultra Soft disc’s worth of music is merely wishful thinking. The album covers don’t bode well for this thing not sucking. That shit looks like what you’d get if you told someone to make a Drake album cover specifically designed to make fun of the other Drake album covers. He took the Nas/Biggie/Weezy route of the baby picture and then, in classic Drake fashion, made it the absolute softest and most uncool shit humanly possible, but 17-year old white girls will be all “Oh my god he’s so sensitive, this is what all hip-hop should be” while they finger themselves to pictures of Matthew McCconaughey, watch Gilmore Girls, and search Pinterest to design their dream wedding. Drake has officially earned the crown of the lamest rapper on the planet.

Prediction: Certified Double Platinum

This Is...Icona Pop Icona Pop - September 24th Man, “I Love It” was a fun song for like ten minutes, wasn’t it? It started getting serious play after being featured on episodes of both Snooki & JWoww and Girls, which is as bad of an omen as there is. It was catchy and fun and easy, it was basically the perfect piece of pop music. Then you heard it another fifty times, and after a while a chorus of sorority girls screaming “I DON’T CARE, I LOVE IT!” and hounding you to change the song for three hours haunts your dreams and you wake up in a cold sweat, longing for the days where you could just say “sorry we don’t have the CD burned for it yet.” This is a song whose single release, in various formats, has produced no less than 21 different remixes. 21. Talk about sucking the fat teat of fame dry. Anyway, Icona Pop is perfectly harmless as a synthpop duo, which is exactly why we’re not anticipating this album’s release. They say they’re trying new things and that it “Won’t be an album of 16 songs like ‘I Love It’,” which is exactly where they are messing up. True, they caught lightning in a bottle, and true Charli XCX (who was the reason “I Love It” was as successful as it was) is not a permanent member of the band, but if you can make quality, catchy pop music, stick to it. In the end they can either end up as a generic one-hit wonder that more or less encapsulated the spring of 2013, try something new and probably fail, or they stick to their strategy make another successful, catchy pop song. They don’t seem to want to do the last one, so this album will be the beginning of perpetual dissatisfaction for the entirety of the life of this band.

Prediction: Silver Record

Untitled Fourth Studio Album

Arcade Fire - Oct. 29th There is no more boring yet more universally praised album in 2010 than The Suburbs. “But it won a Grammy!” you say as we laugh in your face because using a Grammy as a measuring stick for the merit of a piece of music is like using the 30-inch rims on a guy’s Escalade as a measurement for his dick size. Remember, LMFAO has two Grammy nominations. Cut it out. Now, there are plenty of reasons one should be anticipating this album. LCD Soundsystem’s James Murphy has been in the studio with Arcade Fire, recording them in his DFA studio! Funeral was really good! Win Butler does cool things with his hair! Wrong, oh so wrong. Pouring hype into this album will just leave you utterly disappointed when you hear 22 songs that sound like “We Used to Wait,” causing you to give up all hope in what you used to call indie music. Before you know it you’ll start listening to Lady Gaga religiously. Arcade Fire is the go-to “real” band for faux hipster girls who like to wear Indian headdresses and roll at MGMT concerts. It takes a lot to make Wayne Coyne think you’re an asshole, and these guys found a way. Enjoy what will surely be a universallypanned yet ultimately completely mediocre piece of profitable “indie” rock while you pretend you know who Brian Eno is. This album is going to eat a dick.

Prediction: Certified Platinum


Meeting Your roommate’s parents

Well we tried to be responsible, but like most things at

___1___, drinking just sort of happened. We were only going to have a glass of ___2___ (on the rocks, of course), sit on the porch and listen to ___3___ and chat about ___4___’s weight gain, because GROSS.

and throw a party. Only ___13___ showed up, but that second keg was necessary. Hobo ___14___ showed up and he brought ___15___ for us. Tom from ___16___ came by and even did a ___17___-second keg stand! I got my ass kicked in ___18___ by ___19___, who ended up passing out on our couch.

But then we saw ___5___ walk by with a ___6___ in her hand, and she decided to sit down with us and have a drink. When we started to get tipsy, my roommate went inside to get ___7___ to sober us up… but came out with her ___8___ shot glasses she smuggled from ___9___ on her “___10___” study abroad trip and a bottle of ___11___ vodka.

Overall it was a very successful night, but when my roommate’s parents showed up, she wasn’t even here. Luckily they were chill with eating cold leftover pizza and sipping on last night’s leftover keg. Mr. ___20___ can sure put them back! When my roommate came back she reeked of ___21___ and looked like ___22___’s little sister. They then all left and went to the bar. Then ___23___ got it on in the kitchen! Such a ___24___ After that was killed, the next natural step was to get a keg of ___12___ time! 1: Your university 2: Liquor 3: 90s pop star 4: Recent celebrity 5: Wacky friend 6: Malt liquor 7: Type of lunch meat

8: Body part 9: Sketchy country 10: Overused synonym for good 11: Exotic fruit 12: Shitty beer 13: The current time

14: Average dude’s name 15: Drug 16: Local pizza place 17: Your birthday 18: Drinking game 19: Local athletic celebrity

20: Your roommate’s last name 21: Men’s cologne 22: Trashy celebrity 23: Same as #19 24: Same as #10







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WEDNESDAY $1 PBR and Keystone


2 for 1 Wells until 10:30 p.m.

Ole Miss - Issue 1 - 9/5/2013  

Ole Miss - Issue 1 - 9/5/2013