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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •

Volume 3, Issue 3 8/30/12 - 9/05/12

theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_UGA

if uga buses were in mario kart Alex Edelstein wrote this

It’s the same every day. You’re standing at the bus stop on Baldwin with one hundred other kids. It wouldn’t be so bad if everyone was just waiting quietly, but no, that’s not the case. There are the frat boys—you know, the ones who walk around with their shirts tucked in and fanny packs around their waists, yelling about how drunk they got last night and how many phone numbers they scored. Then there are the smokers—the ones that stand awkwardly close to the crowd as if they get paid to piss people off by blowing smoke into other folk’s faces. You don’t realize how bad these people actually are until you are all crammed into the East-West bus, where the space separating them from you is nonexistent. Imagine if bus rides were like a game of Mario Kart - the drivers were Italian plumbers, princesses, or even giant turtles with spiky red mohawks. Each would drive at breakneck speeds, letting nothing stop them from reaching the bus stops on time. What if a person decided to stop while crossing the street to send a text? No problem, just launch a barrage of green shells at the kid and knock him off the street. Are too many bikers crowding the roads and constantly making the busses late? Call down some lightning and shrink those bastardy bikers to the size of ants. But let’s be realistic, as much as we’d like to call lightning down from the heavens to solve all of our problems, we’ll just have to use what’s already around us to make do. Have you ever had that problem where people run up to the buses as the doors are closing? Take a cue from Mario Kart and use some bananas to slow them down. Unfortunately bananas are not always readily available on the bus, but freshman are. They are as abundant as bananas are in Mario Kart, and are equally good at slowing people down. Just push a few freshman out the doors to slow those latecomers down so the bus driver doesn’t have to wait.

Eulogy for the Bathroom Graffiti Whatever shall we read whilst shatting?

page 4

Maybe you’re feeling a little too nice to just push freshman off the bus, but still don’t want people invading your personal space. Take another tip from Mario Kart and set up a fake item box, or in this case a fake bus stop sign. Maybe you have a friend who is really into machining things out of metal and you can convince him to dummy up a new sign. You could take that sign and plant it in the ground 100 feet from your usual bus stop. It doesn’t have to be too convincing, because students who are new to the bus system won’t be able to tell the difference between a real and a fake sign,

what’s inside

top ten schools to hate Everyone’s a rival and everyone’s a redneck

page 5

and they’re the ones who are usually late anyway. You can then watch from afar with a grin as people line up to wait for a bus that will never come. At least for a little while you won’t have to worry about crowded buses, until people catch on. But the next time some hot and sweaty guy gets a little too close to you on the bus, try and imagine that it’s just a big game of Mario Kart, and on the next lap you are going to nail him with that dreaded blue shell.

The Perils of Tate Plaza

Do you want to join our club? Do you want to join our club? You should join our club! Club club club!

page 15


contents page 5: Always Baked, Always Baking

Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com

page 5

Always Baked Cookies saves more lives than just drunk Wes.

page 11: Bartender of the Week Stephanie T from the Silver Dollar Bar gets

Table of

boners over Star Wars.

page 11: Fall Films that Probably Won’t Suck Spoiler Alert, Pitch Perfect is going to suck.

page 13: the black sheep interviews

Lead singer of Fitz and the Tantrums Noelle Scaggs!

page 13

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page three d a o l n w o D heep Mobile App S k c a l B e h T ! e e r f y l e m o s e w a o s s ’ it

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, except you d n e k e e w t s app rty la ot at that pa bathroom. Download our g g u o y p u c e tair’s rinkin he fre Kind of like t sh our app out in the ups specials, get the latest d f our bar ll o wa don’t have to d on all the best campus , of course, catch up on a d te to stay upda nd send party pictures an les. a hilarious artic games, share

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Nothing like Bromancing Over Some Delicious Pizza... (Want to be humiliated next week? Awesome.)

Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com

Waif Lost Try Caned Pore Row

Do you know who these hotties are? Send your answers to anagrams@theblacksheeponline.com First five right answers get a prize!

last week’s answers Amanda Bynes & Tom Cruise

word of the week Highjack:

To steal while under the influence of marijuana. “The fifteen-year-old quit Taco Bell after his manager berated him over letting some stoner highjack Baja Blast Mountain Dew with a water cup.”


page 4

theblacksheeponline.com

Eulogy for the bathroom graffiti sarra sedghi wrote this For female English majors and any girl who decides to take a quick poop before American Lit Since 1865, Park Hall’s first floor girls’ restroom has been a sanctuary. Like the rest of the building, it caters itself to lovers of literature. It has that nice little waiting room that makes such a good reading spot as long as nobody is passed out beside you or spreading a new wave of virus. And up until this semester, it held literature on its very stalls. Quotes. Conversations. Advice. Lyrics. Declarations of love. Just the right amount of restroom reading for the girl who wanted to fulfill her pooping experience without sitting on the toilet long enough to risk developing a hemorrhoid. Anyone who has ever used that bathroom before knows that its main attraction is the graffiti that graces the inside of the stalls. That graffiti is why the restroom is so wonderful. Well, it was, anyway. Then somebody decided to kill it. The graffiti and all the happiness it created is gone. The misquote of Keats, Bible verses, and arguments that followed are no more. Somebody thought it was possible to clean up Park Hall a little. Our beloved geezer of an English building got pressure washed and tidied up, and I’ll admit it does look a little younger now. That pressure washing worked wonders. But in this restoration, a great atrocity has been committed – our beloved graffiti has been taken from us.

In its absence, a series of scratches and scuffs mark the stalls’ interiors. Where are our words of wisdom? “Love is all you need?” The Fall Out Boy quote that seemed a little lost? The relationship advice that not every occupant of the first stall agreed with? Oh cleaning crew, you took the pride and joy of Park Hall’s girls’ bathrooms away from us. Do you have any idea what you’ve left us with? Emptiness. Sadness. That girls’ bathroom on the lower level that people scoff at because the door reads “Woman” instead of “Women.” That bathroom is an embarrassment to English majors everywhere. I know for a fact that the graffiti in the second floor boys’ bathroom remains intact, so why do the aficionados of the first floor girls’ bathroom have to suffer such a great loss? And no, please don’t make the boys’ bathroom go through the same pain, because that isn’t fair either– this is about preserving bathroom history. What are we supposed to do now that the witticisms, inspirational quotes, and arguments are gone? Whip out a copy of Pride and Prejudice? Do you have any idea how hard that book is to put down? How is traffic supposed to flow in that bathroom if a girl reading a full-length novel occupies each

stall? Is that what the other couch and new chair are for, to give girls a place to sit while they’re waiting for an available stall, struggling not to shit in their pants? For whatever reason, two sentences remain intact. The first is a misquote of John Lennon’s famous lyric, “You say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” The second? “I fuckin’ love America!” Words of wisdom indeed.

Pabst Blue Ribbon Always $1.50

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always baked Always baking

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wes allen wrote this

It was 1:00 a.m. on a Thursday night when I first encountered Always Baked Cookies. My mind hazy from a Curren$y concert at the Georgia Theater, I hailed a taxi to get my socially awkward self away from any and all human activity. In my haste, I forgot to satisfy my basic needs as an inebriated human being. I came to the realization that if I didn’t eat something delicious that night, I would die. Straight-up die. Fortunately, facing death by starvation is nothing new to me, and I knew exactly what to do—place a life-saving delivery order through Bulldawg Food.

Always Baked is an ingenious idea. Athenians have validated their love for getting weird, and eating comes with the territory. Food delivery in Athens has proven to be successful, therefore Always Baked doesn’t bother with the old-fashioned bullshit of using cash registers. However, this may or may not be because they bake each creation in owner Brian Gramsey’s house, and that he hates every creed and color of human. Actually, that second part is completely false. I feel bad for writing it. In fact, Brian Gramsey and the crew he operates with would be the most charitable people in Athens if it weren’t for the homeless who “donate” blood to the Biotest Plasma Center for the sole purpose of making money for drugs and alcohol—err, to save lives. Seriously though, all profits earned by Always Baked go to the charities Books for Keeps, Camp Kesem and Triple Play Foundation. Their charitable exploits are not only good for the community of Athens, but as consumers, we now have a foolproof excuse for excessively eating cookies.

sec schools to hate It’s more fun to hate on something than to like it. We all know it’s true—everyone loves hating things. This is especially true in college football, and more specifically, SEC football, where everyone is everyone’s rival and everyone calls everyone a redneck, because everyone is a redneck. However, thinking of reasons to hate other teams can be time-consuming. With that in mind, here is a guide on the top ten easiest SEC schools to hate. 10. Ole Miss: Drop the “Ole,” please. I know it makes you feel grand and southern, but that doesn’t change the fact you were everyone’s safety school. 9. Texas A&M: There is nothing wrong with male cheerleaders. There is something wrong with EXCLUSIVELY male cheerleaders. You can’t hide it by calling them “yell leaders,” either. We all know there should be scantily-clad co-eds in that fountain, not five dudes in white jumpers. 8. Mississippi State: Cowbells, huh? Well, that’s number two on the list of reasons not to go to Starkville, right after the crippling meth epidemic.

As I opened my laptop my body began shutting down. Oh, it was agony! Every muscle in my food-deprived body cramped simultaneously. My fingers, almost too weak to click the mouse pad, miraculously navigated to Bulldawg Food’s homepage. Then, on the brink of death, I saw my savior appear to me in the form of a really stoned cookie. I placed my order from Always Baked Goodies Factory & Company, and crumpled to the floor knowing I had a chance at survival. It only takes a minute or two on Always Baked’s website to fully realize how awesome this place is. Three of the site’s five information tabs read: “The Head Stash,” “How We Do,” and my personal favorite “Holla” – for contact information, of course. The menu consists of four of their original cookie flavors, but includes the option of creating your own cookie, with various ingredients that will fluster even the most decisive marijuana enthusiasts. Look, I understand this is a lot to take in at one time, but please stay with me, and try to wrap your head around Always Baked’s “Sack of Nugs.” Unfortunately, this isn’t a sackful of greenery, but it sounds like the next best thing: deep-fried cookie dough with a sprinkle of powdered sugar on top. Can you imagine having a sack of nugs to go along with your Sack of Nugs? It sounds glorious.

The Top ten

7. Arkansas: The state of Arkansas is most famously known as the pair of pants on the man who lives beside the Mississippi River. This is a role they fill well and they should be happy they’re given that much.

On that fateful Thursday night, I began to “see the light” and wanted nothing more than to end the pain of being intoxicated and without proper nourishment. Finally I said, “Enough is enough,” and resigned myself to eternal rest. At that precise moment, a cookie, stoned off its ass, appeared to me and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” Just then, I heard a knock on my door. I was saved. On my knees, begging for salvation, I paid the deliveryman, and proceeded to devour an entire Sack of Nugs. As you can see, Always Baked Goodies Factory & Co. saved my life. Not only does Always Baked deliver homemade cookies, piping hot to your doorstep, but they also provide aid to this community (unlike those whoring plasma donors). I lied earlier when I joked about the charities that Always Baked donates to. Always Baked founder Brian Gamesey started the Triple Play Foundation, which focuses on educating at-risk youth in Athens, giving kids encouragement and helping them realize that college is an attainable goal, not just some pipe-dream. Always Baked is new to this college town, and they won’t be leaving any time soon. They have ingenuity, a terrific product, and they seem like great people. Whether you are sober or high as a kite, these cookies are delicious, and I don’t know a single person that doesn’t like cookies. Even if you are a social outcast and don’t like cookies, you have to respect what Always Baked is doing for Athens. Do what’s right, immediately order a fat Sack of Nugs just so you can tell your grandkids that you ate cookies from the original Always Baked in Athens, Georgia.

6. LSU: These people only emerge from their swamp to watch LSU play. I’m thankful I only have to hear about them on game days every fall. Oh wait, I forgot Swamp People was on History Channel EVERY WAKING SECOND OF MY LIFE. History Channel, could you stop playing Swamp People every time I turn on the TV? A documentary on the bubonic plague would be less depressing. 5. Tennessee: Score a touchdown. PLAY “ROCKY TOP!” Get sacked. PLAY “ROCKY TOP!” Wear jerseys the color of a Dreamsicle. PLAY “ROCKY TOP!” Dwell in mediocrity for the past ten years and probably the rest of your miserable existence. PLAY “ROCKY TOP!” Play “Rocky Top” again. SHOOT MYSELF! 4. Auburn: Everyone else grew out of throwing toilet paper at trees in high school. More than one of you can drive and you can buy beer now. Act like real people, please. 3. South Carolina: God, we can’t wait until South Carolina delves back into the depths of mediocrity. Steve Spurrier’s been a big help the last couple of years, however, when he leaves, people will stop looking at him and finally notice the hobo jungle located outside Williams-Brice Stadium. 2. Florida: What is there to say about Florida that hasn’t already been said? Nothing in particular. Everyone knows they love jorts and Tebow. Thankfully, that’s all they have now since they’re terrible again. 1. Alabama: There was like, one Alabama fan pre-Nick Saban. They’ve infested the world like cockroaches, and they aren’t going anywhere. “Roll Tide Roll” is also, frankly, gibberish. If someone showed up at sporting event and yelled “FART GNARLY FART” it would mean exactly the same thing, which is nothing. 100,000 of these bumpkins get a pass on their version. I guess you’re afforded that opportunity when you’re with 100,000 people as stupid as you are. Traditions are dumb.

Henry Bergkamp wrote this


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page 10

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bartender of the week Stephanie t the silver dollar bar Name: Stephanie Thomas Major: PR Year: 4th year What’s the worst pick up line you’ve heard on the job?: This happened the other day, actually. Guys are always asking ‘are you okay?’ and ‘did it hurt?’, and when I ask what they are talking about, they’re like ‘when you fell from heaven.’ It’s so cliché, it’s terrible, but they use that on me all the time. What Disney character do you most want to hook up with?: Would it be ridiculous if I said Prince Charming? Because seriously. How many 4-year-olds do you think you could take in a fight?: A few summers ago, I was a

the drinking game Flip Cup Bananagrams Whether you like it or not, school is here. Since you’ve drank yourself silly this summer and need a little brain boost, here’s a way to wipe those cobwebs from your noggin and get Tipsy Russell at the same time. What You’ll Need: 50 cups, beer, Bananagrams or Scrabble letter tiles, and vodka. Number of Players: No more than five. Good thing you don’t have many friends. Level of Intoxication: Pukin’ in the banana bag. How to Play: - Set up 50 cups on a table. - Fill 35 with beer and 15 with vodka. Make sure the vodka cups are randomly dispersed among the beer cups. - Give every player 15 Bananagram pieces, face down. - All players must flip their pieces over at the same time. - Players individually begin creating words in a crossword-like fashion. - Players may trade letters with their opponents. - When a player uses all of her letters, he or she says “Peel!” and every player must choose one cup and flip it on the table. - If the cup doesn’t land facedown, that player must toss back another cup. This continues until a player successfully lands a cup upside down. - If a player has letters that are impossible to place in their crossword, that player can call out “Dump!” and exchange the letter for more letters depending on how many cups he or she drinks (for example, if the player drinks two cups, he or she can take two new letters). - Once someone uses all of their letters, they say “Bananagrams!” and every other player must take a shot. The Game Ends When: Someone gets “Bananagrams!” Refill all cups and start over.

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counselor at a diving camp, and I have to say, 4-year-olds are pretty fierce. I would say maybe 4? Star Trek or Star Wars?: Star Wars, hands down. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?: Harry Potter. Is that even a question? Who from our generation picks Lord of the Rings?” Twilight or Hunger Games?: Hmm that one is kind of tough. Hunger Games? Yeah, Hunger Games. Katniss is badass. If someone made a movie of your life, what would the title be?: “Is this real life?” My friends and I say that all the time. It’s kind of lame, but it feels like it fits with every situation. Who would star in that movie?:

Me and my 4 roommates. No one else could do it justice. If God had a signature drink, what would it be?: I love tequila, so I wish it would be something with that, but that just seems like it wouldn’t fit. So I guess like a really good beer? Maybe Blue Moon. What is one animal you would not want to fight?: I would never want to fight an alligator. They are actually one of my biggest fears, like, even over sharks. If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it?: In the upstairs part of Silver Dollar. If you could be a really badass cop or a really badass criminal, which would you be?: Probably a cop. I mean, I think I would be terrible at both, but I would be worse at being a criminal.

Recipe for Disaster

S’mores Puppy Chow S’mores-flavored puppy chow, need we say more? Get s’more deliciousness without the pain-in-the-ass task of building, maintaining and extinguishing a bonfire. Where can one build a roaring campfire on a college campus, anyway? This grub is so delicious you might need a clean pair of pants afterwards. You’re welcome. What You’ll Need: Golden Grahams, chocolate chips, and mini-marshmallows. Cook Time: 30 minutes. Fatty Factor: Your stomach won’t grow outward, your teeth will just cave in. They’re totally worth it, though. Let’s Get Baked: - Microwave the chocolate chips in a bowl until fully melted. Don’t burn ‘em or it’ll stink up your apartment. - Stir the chocolate until all the lumps and bubbles are gone. - Pour your Golden Grahams into a bowl. - Slowly pour chocolate all over your cereal. - Mix the cereal until all pieces are covered in chocolate. Add a little more if you’re feeling generous. - Take the mini marshmallows and mix them into your chocolate-covered cereal. - Put your final product in the freezer until the chocolate has hardened. Taste just one handful of this and we promise you’ll never make an old, boring s’more again.

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From the Streets

[PartyPics]

Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com

What theme party would you like to attend this semester? “I think an Antoine Dodson party would be hilarious. Everyone would have to do an impression just to get in the door.” -Sean Maurice, 4th year, International Affairs Major

“I’d love to go to a Naked Royalty party. I want to see naked inbred monarchs and a naked, beheaded Louis XVI.” -Rachel Kaplan, 3rd year, English & PR Majors

“I’ve been meaning to throw a ‘too soon’ party at my house for the past year. Neil Armstrong, Amy Winehouse, Steve Jobs.The possibilities are endless, really.” -Dylan Kerlin, 4th year, Women’s Studies Major

send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com

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6 Fall Films That Probably Won't Suck

Summer is sadly over. This spells the end of the summer blockbuster. The Avengers, Amazing Spider-Man, The Dark Knight Rises, and other non-superhero films that people probably cared about all came out this summer. There are no more huge hype machines screaming at us from every conceivable media outlet what to go see. That three minute trailer could contain the only entertaining three minutes out of the entire film. Here we have a list of six good looking flicks coming this autumn. We give you the basic gist of their plots, what you can expect if it's a hit and what you can expect if it's a stinker. By: Michael Mattucci

Dredd 3D - September 21

Frankenweenie - october 5

pitch perfect - october 5

Based on the 2000 AD comic-book character, Dredd is a member of a police force of the future called Judges who have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner. They are the law. After the 1995 Sylvester Stallone catastrophe known as Judge Dredd, this movie should easily hurdle the low-set bar left by Mr. Sly’s goofy turn as a roided-out future Rambo. However, while it will undoubtedly be an improvement from its 90s counterpart, on its own merits it could still fail to impress. It’s a simple story, and for it to work the direction and performances need to be on point, lest it turn out to be a Michael Bay-esque action orgy.

Tim Burton remakes his own 1984 short film, this time going for the stop-motion he’s so famous for (even if he didn’t actually direct The Nightmare Before Christmas). The main character, Victor, loves his dog so much that he finds a way to bring him back to life! Shenanigans ensue as he tries to keep his creation a secret from the rest of the neighborhood. And no, he doesn’t have sex with the dog, why would you even think that?

A musical comedy about a group of misfits who form an all-girl a capella group to compete against the boys? Clearly it’s a Glee/ girl power! cash-in, but could the student surpass its master? Glee has always been a “you love it or you hate it” program, but many Gleeks are losing faith in the show. Pitch Perfect looks to plummet down the forgettable movie musical hole, joining the ranks of Hairspray and From Justin to Kelly. If it doesn’t, we’ll sing its greatness from the mountaintops, because who doesn’t need more ridiculous musicals full of singing teenagers? It’s just like real life, minus the social awkwardness and bacne!

By reworking one of his earliest concepts, Burton has the opportunity to get back into form with a dark but family-friendly comedy that also tugs at your heartstrings. Remember the emotional rollercoaster that was Dark Shadows? No? Well, neither do we. Oh well, at least he’s not bringing his wife, Johnny Depp, and his mistress, Helena Bonham Carter down with him this time.

Paranormal Activity 4 october 19

The Man with the Iron Fists november 2

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 | november 16

The exact plot is being kept under wraps (probably because it’s the exact same plot as the other three films), but Katy and her nephew Hunter, both missing since the events of the first two films, are now living next door to an unsuspecting family. These movies certainly stick to what Edgar Allen Poe called a “singular effect.” But just as Saw through Saw XXVI proved, many consumers love being force-fed the same scare tactics. And while they do try and change the game a little with each installment, overall we can’t imagine this film will change your tune if you disliked the first three. And if you disliked the first three, why do you keep coming back? PHONY!

This is a story of a village in nineteenth-century China banding together to fight off a larger threat. Don’t come to the theater expecting any level of historical accuracy. The Man with the Iron Fists looks to be a crazy over-the-top kung-fu action film with its own unique style brought to you by RZA, one of the most prominent members of the Wu-Tang Clan. However, he only co-wrote the film. His partner in this endeavor? Eli Roth, whose writing experience centers around the teenagers he brutally tortures in his gore-porn films. So let’s hope he didn’t help with the dialogue this time around. Here is a Rothian gem from Cabin Fever, in case you’re not familiar with his genius: Paul – “Why would you wanna kill squirrels?” Bert - “‘cause they’re gay.”

This made it on the list because regardless of the hate it gets, the franchise has a huge fanbase that throws its parent’s/boyfriend’s money at it. A success is a success. It’s Twilight - no further introductions needed. If you’re a Twilight fan there’s pretty much nothing I can say to make you want to go see this any more or less than you already do. As for the people being dragged to this by their significant other, one can only hope that the film comes full-circle from terrible to terribly entertaining. Otherwise, constant remind your partner of the sexual courtesies they owe you for actually seeing this.


the interview Fitz & the tantrums

Noelle Scaggs, lead female vocalist for the indie soul band Fitz & The Tanturms, may be technically considered a “tantrum” in the band, but her powerhouse voice makes her the feistiest of them all. We had the chance to chat with the singerabout performing love songs, being the only chick in a gaggle of guys, and, of course Ryan Gosling. Check out their hit album, “Pickin’ up the Pieces while you wait for their newest album in 2013. By: Jessica Sommers

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The Black Sheep: How did you get to know Michael Fitzpatrick, and how did Fitz & The Tantrums get started? Noelle Scaggs: Michael had been going through a really bad break-up and he wrote the song “Breakin’ the Chains of Love,” which was kind of his first song he had written with this Motown style. He called up John Wicks, a mutual friend of ours and our current drummer , to help develop more of these types of songs, which turned into our first EP, Songs for a Breakup, Vol. 1. So I went to the rehearsal studio and the first rehearsal we all just really jelled, mine and Michael’s voice jelled really well together. It felt like we had been performing for a long time. The beginning stages were really cool because it was a rare happening, you know, finding musicians who can really play and you have this moment of knowing this works. You’re not really sure where it’s going to go, but it really worked out. And everything with the band kept falling into place. We just kept getting offered gigs , and then came people who wanted to manage us. We had been together for six months before we go an offer for our first tour, with Hepcat and Flogging Molly, then came touring with Maroon 5. It was really special . TBS: A lot of your songs have to do with love and heartbreak. Tell me a little bit about the songwriting process. Noelle: On the new record we’ll all just get together and kind of jam out. The guys will send a track and Michael and I will build from them; I’ll create the lyrics and sometimes I’ll do the melody, or we’ll go back and forth. It’s just a melting pot of ideas that happen. I’ll write some stuff at my house and send it to Michael, he’ll vibe off of it and decide if he likes it or not, and vice versa. It’s a very collaborative effort. With Picking up the Pieces, because of the situation of Michael coming out of love, the entire story of that record was about breaking up and trying to get through that process. When I came to the table and brought that female dynamic, it became the two sides of the tale instead of just being about the male heartbreak. You get that female side as well which really dominates on stage. [Michael and I] have a really cool dynamic.

TBS: So how do you like being the only girl in a group of guys? Noelle: I’ve been doing this for a long time and I’m used to being the only woman in a lot of bands. In my former band I was the only woman as well, and I was the front woman, so I’ve gotten used to it. You do have those times where you miss having a woman around. Thankfully, one of our managers is a woman and she comes on tour with us, so it gives me a nice break from being around all the guys all the time. But these guys are really amazing people, they’re really mature, it’s not like I’m touring with a bunch of teenagers who don’t really understand the business. We’re all good friends, we all respect each other, and, for that, it’s really cool. They’re very sensitive to me being the princess of the group. TBS: You personally have collaborated with a ton of different kinds of artists. Who are some of your favorites? Noelle: I really enjoyed working with will.i.am. He’s a really interesting character in the studio in that kind he just lets you go, he lets you flow, and the minute that he hears something good he’s like, “I want you do that.” He’s always been this really cool person to just jam out with and try to develop ideas and not really think about what’s going to happen. You just try things and have fun with it. I’ve always really enjoyed that about him in the studio, like I could just be playing around with something and he’d be like, “Go do that!” TBS: What are some things you always have around when you’re getting ready for a show? Noelle: Slippery Elm, it’s basically a root that comes in capsules that Michael and I drink in a tea, especially during cold season. I always, always, always have my watch. I don’t really like having my phone on me constantly, and that’s the reason why I bought the watch, so I know how much time we have before we go on stage. TBS: If you were stuck in an elevator for 24-hours, what one person would you ideally like to be stuck with? Noelle: From the music stand point, Thom Yorke. Also, maybe Ryan Gosling. I wouldn’t mind being locked up in an elevator with him, that’d be cool.

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the riddle

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the perils of tate plaza katie weimer wrote this

It's a hot Wednesday afternoon. Your mission seems simple enough—make it from the MLC to the Tate bus stop. All you want is to mind your own business as you walk through Tate Plaza to get to your next class. But this walk is never as easy as it should be; the student clubs and organizations have seen to that. You mentally and physically begin preparing yourself for the barrage of fliers and yells pleading with you to come join every organization on campus. In your right hand is your shield of choice, your cell phone. You stick your headphones in your ears. It doesn't really even matter if music is playing or not; anything that says “No, I do not want to hear about your cause” is a useful weapon. The final and most important defense is diverting your eyes. If eye contact occurs, you're done for. The sidewalk that runs beside the Bulldawg Cafe may have more escape routes if you do happen to get cornered by a “club pusher,” but it also gives them just as many places from which they can jump out and attack. On the other hand, you could have the courage to walk alongside the bookstore and the gall to physically push past anyone who tries to shove a listserv sign-up sheet in your face. You decide for the bookstore route. The headphones with no music coming through them just barely muffle the crew team jumping circles around the sidewalk, yelling at you that you need no experience and that you could get the best work out of your life. You’re never sure whether to find this insulting or not. After all, they're basically saying even though you're incompetent and fat they'll still take

Meet The Staff campus manager Cutler Sheridan Editorial manager Cutler Sheridan Advertising Managers Megan Thompson Sibonee Latty Writers Sarah Everett, Riley Humes Jess Wise, Katherine Weimer Wes Allen, Alex Edelstein photographer You? Come on... distribution manager Sierra Moore, Lauren Cobb pr/Marketing TEAM Abby Smith, Sierra Moore Stephanie Mannheimer

tion year and those College Republicans and Young Dems are up at their booths, regurgitating attack campaigns and rooting for either Obama or Bush (oops... I mean Romney). And let's not forget the one Ron Paul supporter standing in between them, shaking their half-liberal, halfconservative fist.

you under their wing. They’re like the Hufflepuff house of UGA clubs. Despite their best efforts to get you on a boat, you manage to make it up past them and up the ramp. Standing at the very top is the guy whose arms are full of fliers. He's standing up there, waiting in a spot that would be impossible to sneak around him—it's like he went to grad school and got a doctorate in pandering tactics. He seems to be impervious to your headphone shield and doesn't even care that you are obviously trying not to look at him as he forcibly shoves one of his fliers into your hands. While you could just concede and take a flier so as to appease him and just throw it away ten seconds later, you don't want him to have the satisfaction and so you keep forcing your way past.

You've almost made it home free. Just a few people dancing around and blaring loud music, maybe a preacher yelling at the least-likely-to-stop-their-devilish-ways students. And if you're lucky there will be pictures of dead fetuses staring down at you as you make your way to an Orbit! Even though you made it through the wild land of Tate for today, tomorrow may find you trapped into a 10 minute conversation about playing cornhole for intramural sports or a handful of fliers that get trashed. You never know when a club member will jump out and attack poor, innocent you on your way to class.

Once you're in the heart of Tate, you've made it past the worst. The booths are usually occupied by the meeker clubs who sit and smile expectantly. However, it is elec-

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UGA Fall Issue 3 - 8/29/12