The Black Sheep • a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
t-sFree hir ...li t c ke ont ent es er t o ing n S th pri at ng we Bre t ak. ..
Volume 2, Issue 3 3/15/12 - 4/04/12
The Newark Guide to the Ultimate Spring Break brittany barkes wrote this The “Spring Breaker,” has long been known as that person that’s frantically preparing for a getaway months in advance. After watching MTV Spring Break for years, these kids are fiendin’ for boozing on a warm beach by day and hooking up all over town at night. As soon as they book the trip, they will make inside jokes and hold exclusive VIP meetings. Weeks before, you will notice a whole load of them packing the Little Bob, stealing your beloved treadmills and packing on extra weights to try and tone those abdominals. You may also find them at the mall trying on skimpy bikinis and searching for a prize-winning (wet) t-shirt. Lastly, you may see them leaving a salon or tanning booth multiple times in a day because no one wants to be the hairiest, palest, or most unprepared spring breaker. But, for those of you stuck in Newark this spring break, we would like to help you have the most fun possible. Here are a few suggestions. Be sure to take photos of everything you do so your Facebook Timeline makes you feel like a cool person when your future-self decides to stalk your college-self. Recreate The Hunger Games: First, catch a matinee showing of the film that’s sure to get you prepared for a break full of adventure. Not only can you watch Katniss kick some ass, but Miley’s boyfriend isn’t too hard on the eyes. This movie has everything: war, love, and…um… baking. Immediately following the film, slap together some makeshift weapons and head to White Clay with a few friends (or enemies). This one’s easy. Fight until you die, for that ultimate spring break high. Take that, Cancun kids. May the odds be ever in your favor. Sit waterside and get a tan: On the warm days, take advantage of the weather and grab your beach towel. You could drive to a nearby beach, or you could just as easily walk to the nearest fountain and set up your towel “fountainside.” While your friends may be chasing waterfalls in Punta Cana, you’ll have easy access to lukewarm water that has bathed so many drunken Delawareans of the past. Plus, you’ll develop the ultimate Newark tan. Attend your version of ULTRA: While your neon-clad crew may have left you to roll on down to the wonderful land of dubstep and DJs, you too can feel the same sensation of taking hardcore drugs and rocking out to beats. Collect as many speaker systems as possible and rearrange a room in your house to ensure perfect sound quality. Then go to one of those fratty music websites and blast music until you no longer have functional hearing or you overdose on Skrillex, whichever comes first.
Travel across the state line: Traveling is the most important part of spring break. You could spend precious gas money traveling to the Grand Canyon or risking your life to hike the Appalachian Trail, or you could take advantage of local wonders. For example, if you travel just over the Maryland state line you will come face to face with a college student’s dream—State Line Liquors. While you may have been to a Total Wine Warehouse in your life, State Line still has a wonderful selection, plus gourmet cheeses. No brainer. And right across the street sits Durham’s BBQ, a wonderful place to grab a bite to eat. And did I mention fireworks are much easier to find outside of Delaware? Blow shit up. Drink: Drinking must be a huge part of your break, especially if you end up alone. However, if you’re lucky enough to have friends, organize drinking events to improve group bonding and raise tolerance levels. So when the rest of campus returns back from break, you’ll be able to challenge anyone to a case race.
friendly smooch. One thing leads to another and by the end of the night you’ll be doing body shots off the semi-available new love interest. Either keep the love affair a secret or drop the biggest drama bomb your friend circle has seen since that time you all chugged three Four Lokos and tried to kill one another.
Wreck some homes: Break is the perfect time to move in on that lady or guy who has a significant other traveling without them. We recommend making some sort of move if you have pent up feelings. Why not take a long romantic stroll down the Green. You just might end up right underneath the legendary “kissing arches” by Memorial, in which case no one can deny you a
So, while your friends may be off on some private island, realize that there is still hope for you. Staying in Newark can be just as fun as riding dolphins in the Caribbean and backpacking through Europe. Save your time and money and plan on studying abroad in the future and take advantage of an empty town. Maybe you’ll even get into the bars without having to wait in a ridiculous line.
Here’s how to make memories you’ll almost certainly forget.
Would you rather go to Delaware State or kill yourself? The answer should be obvious.
see page 4
see page 5
The St. Patrick’s Day Survival Guide
Would You Rather: UDel Edition
Easy classes to rock your world. see page 12
Rocks for Jocks
Table of > > >
The Do’s and Don’ts of the Dage
The Top Ten
page 9 >>
Hipsters Now Cool, Cycle Complete
page 11 >>
Oh, the Media Stereotypes You’ll Meet...
page 12 >>
The Black Sheep Interviews: Maps and Atlases
Don’t do what Donny Don’t does during daging.
spring breaks... as in, try not to break up with your honey while intoxicated at 4 a.m.
Question: is that cycle fixed-gear?
Watch out for stupid ted mosby and drunk chelsea handler while on spring break...but get tight with van wilder, of course.
These Chicago rockers don’t ever get lost on tour
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Definition: The act of being funny and affable to the point of awkwardness. Samantha had to break up with Julian because of his egregarious nature. The final straw was when he fondled Jessica’s breast because Jessica playfully asked him to.
the Saint Patrick’s Day Survival Guide
nick schug wrote this St. Patrick’s Day is a holiday that has lost any semblance of its original meaning. We think it had something do with Patrick Ewing and his fear of snakes, but there’s no way to know for certain. What is now St. Patrick’s Day has become a holiday where you can do whatever you want, much like New Year’s Eve, the Fourth of July, and John Stamos’ birthday. St. Patrick’s Day is fast approaching, and there is little we can do to stop it. Like it or not, it’s coming, and if you’re in college, you might need some helpful tips to get through it. Avoid the dining hall on Saint Paddy’s day: The dining halls give it their best shot with the corned beef and cabbage, but it’s just not their forte. I’m not mad at you, dining hall corned beef and cabbage, I’m just disappointed. An adventurous reader could always make their own holiday-themed foods by spray-painting fruit green, or filling a black leather buckle shoe with Lucky Charms. Get creative. Maybe you want to catch your shortest friend in a net and demand his gold? Who’s going to stop you? Nobody, that’s who, because Saint Patrick’s Day has become a lawless orgy of poor decision making. Use your head: If something seems like a bad idea, don’t do it, because it probably is. If someone is wearing a “Kiss Me I’m Irish!” shirt, do not kiss them, they might be an imposter. They might even be Hawaiian. Even if they are Irish, do your best to avoid kissing them. I think that the exclamation point on the
shirt implies a sense of urgency in the kiss, when the reality is that one’s racial background in no way earns them a smooch. It’s easy to lose perspective during such a romantic holiday, with its subtle charms, like vomit and mass arrests, but stay smart. Know your limits: Don’t be the girl sobbing in the street or the guy who took off his shirt so he could start a fight. No one wants to drink green beer, let alone throw it up in a moment of egocrushing fragility. St. Patrick’s Days are celebrated as if there were a meteor hurtling towards earth. Relax. It’s just a normal day, but with more green, orange, and shouting. Pick your friends carefully: Keep track of which of your friends mentions St. Patrick’s Day the earliest, because they will be the biggest problem when the holiday comes around. If they use words like “hype”, “pumped”, and “stoked” while showing a level of excitement usually reserved for life changing events, get away from them immediately. There is something deeply unsettling and profoundly sad about people who treat St. Patrick’s Day like this, and you’d do well to avoid them. If you can’t avoid them, start wearing a fedora to drive them away. Don’t get pressured into anything: Everybody knows that this holiday is just a meaningless occasion perpetuated by greeting card companies and the Illuminati. With that in mind, you
should be confident enough to make your own decisions. Certainly have fun, but don’t jump off someone’s roof or try to eat a bottle or try to run to the end of a rainbow or cook a banana in the microwave just to see what would happen and for the love of all that is holy, don’t say “swag.” Keep in mind that March 17th only comes once a year, just like every other day.
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“Would You Rather...” The UD Version Elise Barbeau wrote this
Most of us have played the party-favorite “Would You Rather?” before. It’s the fun, interesting, and frequently awkward game that makes us choose between two very unappealing scenarios. Here, the game takes on a UD spin, and things get kind of weird. Would You Rather: Eat Indian Sizzler before a day drink OR Eat shit and fall in front of your friends at a day drink? “Definitely eat shit in front of my friends. Nothing is worse than mixing curry and alcohol.” – Kyle, 21 “I’d go with Indian Sizzler over embarrassment at my expense any day.” – Stephanie, 20 Would You Rather: Have a class with a hard-ass professor OR Have class with a professor that talks to you like you’re 10 years old? “I feel like either way you would hate your life.” – Natasha, 20 “Have a hard-ass professor. At least they know what they are talking about. And I want to slap all condescending people.” – Mike, 19 “I’ll say the babying professor. Maybe it means the class is simple, just like her brain.” –Kate, 20
Would You Rather: Do a very obvious walk of shame on Parents Weekend OR Have a drunken encounter with your own parents? “I’d rather talk to my parents drunk, for sure. At least they have to love me.” – Dave, 21 “Walk of shame. It has happened to everyone, even you, UD mom.” – Meghan, 20 Would You Rather: Have an individual encounter with one of UD’s homeless OR Get in a debate with the Kirkbride Preacher? “Both are potentially dangerous, yet on my bucket list.”- Jessica, 21 “Debate with the Preacher. It would be entertaining for others.” – Ariel, 21 “Tough call, but I’ll go with the homeless guy. At least I won’t come out of it thinking I’m going to hell.” – Steve, 19 Would You Rather: Show up to a party thinking the theme is “What the Hell Are You Wearing?” OR Show up to a tailgate in your prom dress? “Show up at the WTHAYW party. You’re under the cover of darkness, and I feel like I could bullshit my way out of that.” – Emily, 21 “I’d cruise around the tailgate. It would
be a great conversation piece.”- Alex, 21 Would You Rather: Reinstall the CocaCola machines OR Re-hire the Techno Bus Driver? “Are you kidding? The Techno Bus Driver is a living legend. He creeped out a lot of people, but he knew how to party.” – Ben, 19 “Diet Coke is my biggest addiction. I know it’s not necessarily like drinking a health shake, but it keeps me alert enough to do chemistry homework. Pepsi just isn’t the same. Oh, and the Techno Bus Driver gives me nightmares.” – Hanna, 20 “I’m still waiting for my invitation to drink a Coke with the Techno Bus Driver.” – Andrew, 22 Would You Rather: Live across the street from the loud Engineering Building construction site OR Live inside of the Library forever? “I think living in Rodney is worse than both of those options.” – Brittany, 18 “The library So many books, so little time.” – Leanne, 20 “I would rather live across the street from the permanent noise of a jackhammer than inside the library. The overwhelming aroma of mothballs and armpit would probably kill me within hours.” – Tom, 19
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Spring “Breaks” 10) Breaking in your new spray tan: Of course nobody wants to hang around poolside, looking like pale ale, but don’t go overboard on the fake tanner or you might end up looking like Snooki, (or other employees at Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory). 9) Breaking up: Remember when you got really drunk and dumped your boyfriend of 4 years for your spring break one-night stand, but then it totally worked out and you got married and lived happily ever after? Yeah, neither does anyone else. Be an adult and baby-proof your phone. 8) Breaking the bank: While all the excitement of being in an exotic environment (a cruise, the Caribbean islands, New Jersey), may have you tempted to buy the entire bar a round of Jagerbombs, resist this urge and instead simply befriend the girl in the bar who is playing 52-pickup with her parents’ credit cards.
the do’s and don’ts of the “dage” every other guy by wearing a basketball jersey when you dage, at least be creative with your choice.
6) Breaking condoms: It may seem obvious that hooking up with a complete stranger requires more caution than normal. But then you remember that the show 16 and Pregnant has way too many applicants to be considered an isolated incident. Remember: always double bag it when you find yourself twisting sheets with a rando.
DO: Participate in dage sports such as can jam and cornhole. Chicks love athletes, and at a dage when woman think you’re good at cornhole…they wanna see HOW good you are at cornhole (wink wink). Save beer-pong and civil war for after the sun sets, a dage is the time to show everybody that you’re like Kenny Powers with a frisbee.
5) Breaking and entering: Ok, so if you infiltrate your parents’ stash of snooty wines, you may soon find yourself at the community YMCA, wearing a nametag and sitting next to Mrs. “Hello my name is: Drinks During PTA Meetings”. On the other hand, if you and your friends B&E into a liquor store and get caught, you may be spending the remainder of your spring break in a holding cell, sitting next to Mr. “Aren’t You Pretty?”. You do the math.
DON’T: Do the stupid stuff that you usually do during the night. Believe it or not, cops can actually see better when it’s light out. Therefore, that bush you love to pee in on South Chapel is a little more visible when the suns up. Think you can make it across the courtyards with a beer in hand? Think again! You may want to squeeze your 7 friends into the backseat of your Honda Civic, but you can’t. If you get into a little fisticuffs in front of the Grotto’s porch, you best believe it will earn you a ride with the honorable UDPD. You just can’t attempt to ride your longboard back to Ivy, totally trashed, and expect nobody to notice, that’s the bottom line.
4) Breaking your leg: Of course you want to impress that hot girl with the nipple piercing that you’ve fallen in love with since this 6-day cruise began. And what better way to do so then by executing a perfect backflip off the high dive? Well since you’re not 14 anymore, maybe just ask for her digits and meet her at the open bar later. It’s hard to satisfy a woman when you’re in a full-body cast.
Matthew Speiser wrote this Dage: To rage during the day. Wow, it’s already March! Pretty soon it’ll be warm enough outside to have an excuse to walk the streets of Newark on a sunny Saturday afternoon completely obliterated. Yup, I’m talking about the good old fashioned dage. A college tradition as old as the state of Delaware, there’s nothing a bro likes more than to put on his vintage Latrell Sprewell Knicks jersey and play some real intense games of can jam. However, just as with anything in life, there are some guidelines to daging that you best respect if you don’t want it to rain on your backyard kegger. So without further ado, I give you the do’s and don’ts of the dage. DO: Feel free to climb atop roofs. An unspoken rule of the dage is that the higher up you get, the cooler people think you are. DON’T: Jump off the roof. We all want our Almost Famous moment, but nothing ruins a banging dage faster than a swan dive into a crowd of people.
"save beer pong for after the sun sets, a dage is the time to show everybody that you’re like kenny powers with a frisbee."
DO: Plant seeds. Very rarely do I see guys able to pull some chick out of a dage and back to his shag pad. However, a dage is very good for planting seeds for later that night. Think about it: a seed grows by applying liquid and sunlight. The same can be said for a potential hookup.
DON’T: Wear a LeBron jersey. There’s no better way to declare yourself a front-running douchebag than by rocking a LeBron jersey. The thought of LeBron hoisting the NBA championship trophy makes most want to projectile vomit all over my laptop. There are so many cooler alternatives to the LeBron jersey. For instance, some fancy wearing a Wally Szczerbiak Timberwolves jersey, and who doesn’t love that seven-foot Spaniard? If you insist on being like
7) Breaking news: Everybody knows the common dangers of vacationing: identity fraud, getting kidnapped and worst: Girls Gone Wild. And while it would be tragic to lose all of your possessions, wouldn’t it be nice to come home from a vacation for once with your dignity still intact? Remember, the film debut of your “twins” doesn’t exactly help with your job application to anywhere besides Hooters.
DO: Take a nice long nap before you go out at night. Only scrubs and freshmen can’t make it out at night after a hardcore dage. Don’t be one of these. Get back to your place, reflect on how you and your friends daged so hard motherf**kers wanted to find you. Then hit the bed, and dream about the awesome night ahead of you. So there you have it, the “how to” guide for daging. I hope you heed my wisdom when you head out this Saturday. Just remember this; we all love to get drunk in the middle of the day, but college is the only time in life when that is socially acceptable, so enjoy it while it lasts.
3) Breaking open the hard alcohol: We would never advise against the use of hard alcohol for a good time, or Eastern Standard Time, or really anytime. But in order to start your day the alcoholic way, while avoiding a nasty hangover by noon, try to hold off on your binge drinking until the evening, when you can pass out after the sun has. Remember: puking before 12 only leads to 12 steps and you’re no quitter! 2) Breaking out your pickup lines: By this time in our lives, most of us have slapped/been slapped because of a pickup line. So skip the ever-failing, “Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day”, and start making use of the everflawless wingman technique. Just be sure to recruit someone who isn’t a cock-blocker and who is willing to be “the funny one” so you can actually get laid. 1) Breaking hearts: So there you are, on the last day of spring break, bidding farewell to that significant individual who has fallen hard for you over the past week. Now you could always apply the D.E.N.N.I.S. system and slink out into the night undetected, never to return again. Or, you could do the right thing; capitalize on the breakup sex, label them bat-shit crazy for falling in love with you in a week and then part ways with a clean conscience and a restraining order.
kim hogan wrote this
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hipsters now cool, cycle complete nicole nadler wrote this You’ve seen them around campus, lurking behind battered copies of Catcher in the Rye, but never really took much notice before. Lately though, plaid is everywhere you look, empty PBR cans just seem to fall from the sky, and the local Goodwill hasn’t seen so much business in a decade. Who are these people whizzing by you riding on their single-speed Schwinn bicycle? Why can they grow sick moustaches that make everyone else’s Movember look utterly shameful? Who could possibly own that many scarves in that many colors, and who could pull the look off in the summer? Well my friends, you’ve finally met the hipsters. Once considered socially unacceptable, the hipster movement has been gaining a following faster than they get holes in their Chuck Taylors. Once shunned for being so different, now people are fascinated by the subculture, wondering why they never realized how cool an owl tattoo would be on their left inner forearm. If you’re one who stands on the outside, wondering how you could possibly break into the pointless discussion over what Jean-Paul Sartre’s greatest work was, then stay tuned. Here at the University of Delaware we know them as the people who hang outside of Home Grown, who wear glasses that haven’t been cool for two decades and somehow make them look awesome. “How can I befriend a hipster?” you may ask. Well, there’s a few key things you’ll want as background
knowledge. First, know your underground music scene. To a hipster, if it’s on the radio it’s not music, so keep that Gaga shit out of there. And if you only started listening to Bon Iver after he won a Grammy... tell no one. You’ll need to understand the art of unwashed hair, after a while it still looks shiny and soft enough to run your fingers through it, though you won’t want to. And you might want a new wardrobe. You could go to Urban Outfitters and drop $250 on a v-neck, a pair of ultra skinny jeans, and some boots... or drop $5 on the same things at Goodwill, the choice is yours. Be sure to mention key words, like vegan, photo-blog, concert, and fair trade coffee. If you have no luck at Home Grown, try Brewed Awakenings, Grassroots, Brew HaHa!, Village Imports, Rainbow,Goodwill, or any of the Art or English buildings. Wanna woo a hipster? Sure, everyone loves a good mixtape, but be careful, don’t put any bands on there that have gone mainstream. Chances are that your hipster loved them before “anyone had even heard of them, man.” The best play is to pay some homeless peole to jam with you for a few hours, run it through Fruity Loops and burn your work of “art” to a disc they’ll grow to love. Not of the musical bent? Head on down to the Bookateria and pick up a battered copy of that one book you’ve always heard of and never read, (The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Awakening, Slaughterhouse Five), and perch yourself, (in a perfectly non-matching outfit), your Mac (open to iTunes for everyone to see what cool music you
listen to), your coffee, (in an oversized mug),and your book, (with multiple dog-eared pages to show how often you’ve read it), in plain sight. Eventually, with enough holes in your jeans and the right music on your iPod, you’ll be able to break through the stereotype and right into the heart of the hipsters. And if that doesn’t work, Home Grown makes one hell of a martini for you to go drown your sorrows in.
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the media stereotypes you meet
on spring break! the ted mosby He’s been your best friend since Jeremy Daniel gave you simultaneous wedgies in the fifth grade. You dormed together freshman year, but when you rushed he decided to chat with his threestates-away girlfriend over Skype. It wasn’t until his junior year that he discovered she was cheating on him. Though you rarely talk these days, you decided to invite him on spring break. Now you’re in club dancing with hawt womenz as he shoots you “please come end my boredom” daggers from across the room. You let your slamdunk slam piece go and mosey his way. “Dude, there’s hundreds of sluts here for you to bone,” you mutter. “I don’t want to talk to any of them,” he downtroddenly claims. You give him a half dozen “How ‘bout her?” options, but it’s always, “Too fat,” “Too skinny,” “Weird freckle,” “Missing a leg.” You’re regretting that invite, as you hate him almost as much as he hates himself.
It’s unlikely that you’ll meet a fictional character on spring break, unless you have some really, really good ‘shrooms. Still, you’ll certainly meet someone that’ll remind you of that one guy you saw in a movie that one time. Like these folks! By: Brendan
the chelsea handler
the van wilder
Before leaving for spring break she excitedly shows you a shirt she bought for the vacation. You frown as she unfurls it, so she feels the need to explain, “It says ‘The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else’! Get it?! Plus, it’s white, which will be absolutely perfect for a wet t-shirt contest.” Yes, she’s an attention whore, but that doesn’t take away from her more normal whoreish qualities. As you roll into Panama City Beach she demands the group stops at Wal-Mart before checking into the hotel because she wants to do a vodka shot minutes after the gang gets into the room. Over break she’ll claim to invent the “tan nap,” which is really just an excuse for her to pass out next to the pool. This is fine, she needs all the rest she can get, what with the stop-start self-esteem sex she has with a different, flaccid, barely-conscious dude in your bathroom each night.
You’ll spot the Van Wilder from a few dozen yards away. His hot, oiled body glistening in the sun, his perfectlycoiffed hair reaching for the sky as though even his keratin is surrendering to his sparkling blue eyes just a few inches south. Guy or girl, your knees quiver in anticipation as you pray he talks to you. He asks, “Hey, need a beer?” as you rush to tumble a sloppy “Yes!” out of your mouth. He murmurs, “Alright man, give me twenty bucks and I’ll be back with a case in a few.” What? You begin to catch on. Those flip-flops look like they cost several hundred dollars, and his board shorts look to be a brand you can barely pronounce. This guy’s gotta be north of thirty. What kind of grown-up douchebag still celebrates spring break?
the annie walker She sidles up next to you at the bar and within minutes you’re smitten. She’s cute and she’s sucking back shots faster than the bartender can pour them. The two of you trade adorably awkward glances because, hey, you’re both the shy type. Finally serendipity strikes when you both turn to each other and say, “Hi, I’m--,” bursting out in laughter an instant later. The glimmer in her eye and the stirring in your swim trunks both indicate things are going well until she says something goofy. Shit hits the fan. The conversation’s momentum dies and the glimmer in her eye turns into a glassy shell that does little more than hold in orbs that are just waiting to bulge out of her head. She’s stumbling over her words, stumbling to the bathroom and she tumbles to the ground just as she covers it in a thin puddle of puke. Feel free to give yourself a mental high-five, acting the ass is what those low self-esteem hotties do.
the taco macarthur the Leslie Knope You open your eyes, roll over and look at the bedside clock. It’s 10:15 a.m. Four hours of sleep? Jesus. You will yourself out of bed because there’s only two days of break left and much tanning left to do. You angrily stumble into the bathroom only to realize she did it again. Taped to your mirror is the day’s itinerary: 10:30 a.m. mani-pedi followed by a 11:15a.m.-1:30p.m. spa session? Doesn’t she know that you just want to eat a stale bagel from the continental breakfast, slam a beer and hit the beach? She’s everything you love in a person: Organized, driven, adventurous and loyal, but she can’t get the notion that you just want to sit around drinking beer on the beach through her very pretty skull. You hear her rustling around in the living room, so you decide to hide in the closet until it’s 10:35. You’d chip your manicure cracking open beers anyway.
You’re barely out of the state before you have to scream at him for casually lighting up a spliff in your back seat without asking. He barely utters a word during the entire 18-hour journey, tossing in a “Yeah, cool, whatever.” when you periodically ask him if he’s still alive. You exit your condo’s bathroom only to discover a text message claiming he’s gone down to the beach to smoke an apple bong with some girl he met in the elevator. Every night you stumble home from the club frustrated that you’re still not getting laid, and every night you walk into the room and he’s there with a half dozen girls he met on the beach. The rational part of you wants to hate him for succeeding with minimal effort when you fail while trying so very, very hard. Your penis loves him though, because hey, tits.
the music page
the black sheep interviews:
Maps & Atlases
Our compasses pointed due north when we were lucky enough to score an interview with loveable rockers Maps & Atlases. Guitarist Erin talks to us about keyboards, soy products and his pet Pegasus. The Black Sheep: Your new album, Beware and Be Grateful is set to be released on April 17th. Can you talk about your progression as a band, from your EPs to Perch Patchwork to this album? How is this the next step in your sonic evolution? Erin Elders: I think it’s a continuation of things we were exploring on Perch Patchwork. On that album we really started with texture, whereas our earlier EPs were more stripped down with a lot of guitar. Here we moved on past the Perch Patchwork orchestration, but we found new ways to layer sound with crazy guitars and whatnot. I think the writing style is a steady evolution from our previous album. TBS: How does the writing process work for you guys? Erin: Every record has been different, but I think that’s what most bands hope to do, where you let the process and story behind the record be its own thing. It’s good to break out of your own habits and artistic patterns. For this record there was these group of songs [lead singer] Dave had been working on during his tour and when we had a little off time. It happened in a really stripped down way. We figured out which songs worked as an album, fleshed them out and worked it out over multiple sessions. We’d then throw as many ideas down as we could, then see what worked and what doesn’t. TBS: Considering the length of time it takes to put a record out, how much of what you work on actually ends up on a record? Erin: It’s really interesting. When you think about how much time writing, recording and playing music and
The ting tings Sounds of Nowheresville Tings Ting latest sounds are from decent-ville. The Ting Tings are an English duo consisting of one dude, Jules de Martino, and one chick, Katie White. You probably know them from their catchy hit songs “Shut Up and Let Me Go” and “That’s Not My Name.” And like all stupidly popular songs, I don’t trust it. So, upon writing this review, I looked to Wikipedia to get the low-down, and like Wikipedia in all its wonderful glory, I found out some fun facts about the origins of this group. It turns out that when White was 12, his grandfather won 6.6 million pounds in the UK lottery, which is roughly $104 million in the US (god, I love the internet). Her grandfather gave each of his sons £1millon each, which includes White’s father. He used his share of the money to start a music management company and after a few attempts at starting a successful group, The Ting Tings were born. So, I didn’t want to like them. On the surface, a manufactured band that lucked out with a few sweet songs five
years ago? Cool… Only their second album, Sounds from Nowheresville seems to have made an effort to fit into the current music-sphere – think Cults but with a bit more spunk and energy, or Sleigh Bells but less intense, more dancey. I’m not sure why I hated on them so much, but it probably had to do with this obnoxious girl I knew who loved “That’s Not My Name” and it left a bad taste in my mouth. Leaving the hate back in 2008, however, I gave The Ting Tings another chance. Their first single “Hang it Up” is a fairly catchy tune that evokes images of hip girls in Urban Outfitters salerack skirts jerking around awkwardly, their version of dancing (remember that obnoxious girl I knew?). “Give it Back” has a similar beat to a certain LCD Soundsystem song and does pick up, but not nearly enough to give the track enough momentum to become worthwhile. “Guggenheim” is my
favorite track on the album with the spoken-word verses building up to an interestingly catchy chorus. The album tends to slow down toward the end, though, and it makes the entire thing pretty anti-climatic. Now, The Ting Tings’ question of a lifetime – would they have ever become anything without the help of granddaddy’s lucky lottery win? It’s doubtful, but that doesn’t matter they’ve scored a few good songs, had their run, won some awards, blah blah blah, and are probably enjoying themselves anyway. They aren’t bad, and are good for some new catchy dance tunes… but don’t expect them to stick around. Sounds Like: Cults and the 80s, separately. Download: Guggenheim, Hang it Up Listen to it When: You’re lounging around and coming down from something fun, but will quickly move onto something else.
you contrast it with the amount of time you actually produce the sounds that end up on the record, it’s small. You have to get to that point, though. TBS: How do you strike a balance between making music you find personally gratifying, but also something that is something your fans want to hear? Erin: It’s a tough thing. Everyone has different interests, and some are able to pursue them under the moniker of their band. But there’s other bands where an out-there record doesn’t work in the parameters of what the band is. Our band, we want to grow and change every record, but the way we move in the same direction, together, allows us to explore new things. TBS: How ambitious do you get with your sound? When you incorporate a new instrument is it out of necessity, like, “this thing makes this sound, so we will use it,” or is it “we want to push the boundaries of how we consider ourselves as musicians”? Erin: With Beware and Be Grateful we started with these cheap Casio keyboards to get the sound up and running, and from there it was experimenting and seeing what stuck. Running with our instincts. We’ve tried doing it before, and it’s worked on certain songs. On this record, though, it helped us produce a really loose sound. TBS: You guys are headlining a tour right now. How do you prepare? Do you prepare? Erin: I think when you’re on tour it’s one of those things where you’re constantly trying to stay on schedule while being exhausted all the time. It’s basically keeping up until you crash and just stop caring about a timetable. TBS: Is there different pressure being the tour headliner? Erin: I think we’re always making sure we’re playing well and presenting the songs as best we can every night, regardless. I mean, you feel obligated to put on a good show for people who paid money to see you. Plus, how often do you get a chance to play a place like Shreveport, Louisiana? Once a year? You want to put on a good show for someone who might be seeing you for the first time. TBS: For someone who hasn’t seen you play live before, describe your show in five words or less. Erin: Four guys, lots of sound. TBS: What’s a band or artist you listen to that no one would think you like? Erin: I listen to a lot of top 40 radio. When we’re on tour peoples’ iPods get exhausted pretty quickly. I think Nicki Minaj’s “Superbass” is an incredible song. TBS: Describe to me your perfect sandwich. Erin: I think a sandwich is a great culinary invention. I think a baguette, smoked tempeh, some tomato, avocado and spicy mustard. TBS: If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, what would it be? Erin: A Pegasus seems ideal, you can ride it into town if you need to, or you can fly. TBS: The most practical of the mythical creatures.
UPCOMING RELEASES One Direction - Up All Night Meat Loaf - Hell In A Handbasket
Peter White - Here We Go Adrenaline Mob - Omerta
Lucero - Woman and Work Delta Spirit - Delta Spirit
VCMG - Ssss Soulfy - Enslaved
rocks for jocks megan walsh wrote this
I recently had a very serious discussion with my advisor about the future; more specifically, my future. Whilst discussing my almost certain success in the advertising industry, I brought up a few insecurities I have harbored regarding my chosen major. “It doesn’t matter what your major is,” he said nonchalantly. “Just take interesting classes.” Majors don’t matter? Interesting classes? Well…what the hell have I been doing for four years? It’s too late for me to rethink my college plan or map out my classes for next semester. For most of you, however, there’s still a chance. Before you even begin looking at/panic about classes for fall, take a quick look at what I actually learned during my time at UD. Class: GEOG115 – Geological Hazards Summary: Rumored to be one of the easiest science classes at UD, GEOG115 (aka Rocks for Jocks) doesn’t disappoint. You’ll learn: volcanoes screw shit up, earthquakes can happen at inopportune times, and nor’easters are basically just gay hurricanes (They go the other way? Laugh.) Lessons Learned: It was actually my very first college course, so aside from learning how to quietly sneak into a lecture hall 20 minutes late (and to never take the seat with the left armrest) I also learned some very valuable lessons on how to bullshit an exam. Verdict: If you need lab credits, take it. Just don’t expect to play with cool rocks or you’ll be thoroughly disappointed. Class: PHIL202 – Contemporary Moral Problems Summary: This class. Contemporary Moral Problems caused me more problems than UDSIS. I originally enrolled because A) I figured everyone should take a philosophy class during college, B) I wanted to have
philosophical things to say during casual conversations and C) to fill some requirement that I can’t remember now. The exams, while “multiple choice,” allowed for every answer to be correct (or some of the answers, or none of the answers, etc.) It’s hard to explain, which means it shouldn’t be the premise of an exam. I’m convinced the professor was just screwing with us and that the exams themselves were some perverse philosophy experiment. Lessons Learned: Apparently my aging Australian professor was in some 80s rock band at one point in his life. This fascinating tidbit was discovered on Wikipedia so it’s possible to dispute the exact details, but it made sitting through class much more tolerable. Verdict: Apparently the online version of the class is a joke, but if you’re considering this one…just don’t. In the end he curved the grades, in his words, “a massive amount,” but it’s not worth the stress you’ll experience throughout the semester. Class: GEOL120 – Life’s a Beach Summary: Sounds fun, right? NO. I went through hell to get into this class, and would end up regretting it for three and a half months. Turns out beaches aren’t really that fun unless you’re on one. We talked a lot about the eroding shoreline and dying fish…overall, very depressing stuff. Lessons Learned: Appearances aren’t everything. My professor was probably one of the most attractive I’ve ever had, which isn’t saying much, but he was sort of an asshole. Also, college field trips are not the same as elementary school field trips. As children, we got a day off school to go look at dinosaur bones in DC. In college, we got up at 6a.m. on a Saturday to tour every Delaware beach. Every. One. Delaware beaches in November suck (a lot). Verdict: Nah.
Class: ENGL324 – Shakespeare Summary: As an English major, I may be a little biased. But if you like Shakespeare, this is a great excuse to buy a bunch of plays, discuss them, and obscurely apply them to your own life. If you’re not a fan, you literally don’t have to read any Shakespeare. Spark Notes is once again your best friend. Reunited and it feels SO good. Lessons Learned: Midsummer’s Night Dream is so much funnier than it was in middle school, and Shakespeare is ten times better when read aloud in a British accent. Verdict: Take it. There are two professors that currently teach it, and apparently both are great. Class: ART204 – Media/Design/Culture Summary: Yeah man, culture and art and stuff. Let’s all look at trippy slides and watch movies that are hard to actually apply to our curriculum. Lessons Learned: I honestly don’t remember anything from this class. My guess is that I didn’t go 50% of the time, and neither did most of the class. The professor teaching the course may have changed since then, but at the time, it was the easiest three credits I’ve ever received. Verdict: Again, it was the easiest three credits I’ve ever received. Use this information as you choose. I guess the point is that a lot of classes sound fun and definitely aren’t. I don’t know who writes the course description but they should be written by students who have actually taken the course. Radical thinking, I know. I wasted a lot of time on classes that shouldn’t even be allowed to exist, but I also discovered some hidden gems. Use electives wisely, enroll with caution.
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DOWN: 1) A red can an iron eagle may make you think this is a commie beer. It’s Mexican, actually. 2) A weird animal hybrid’s dome. (2 words) 3) We’re unsure of who was judging this competition. (3 words) 5) Zero NFL coaches drink this shit, but they’ll sell it. (2 words) 8) Tyra Banks, in Spanish. (2 words) 9) Texas has steers, queers and this brew. (2 words) 10) The bottle doesn’t remind one of this tall, Western mountain range. (2 words)
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you’ll lose yours. 16) Come for the ivy, black out with this brew. (2 words) 17) A Canadian beer the color of a singular sad music genre. (2 words) 18) It doesn’t matter how special it is, take it off for the national anthem. (2 words)
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Down 1 A red can and an iron eagle may make you think this is a commie beer. It's Mexican, actually. 2 A weird animal hybrid's dome. (2 Words) 3 We're unsure of who was judging this competition. (3 Words) 5 Zero NFL coaches drink this shit, but they'll sell it. (2 Words) 8 Tyra Banks, in Spanish. (2 Words) 9 Texas has steers, queers and this brew. (2 Words) 10 The bottle doesn't remind one of this tall, Western mountain range. (2 Words)
T D 4 K E Y S T O C G A F T I E S 9 S H H H 12 M I L L E N A E D R 14 B U D W O 16 C O K
across: 4) The big brother of the blue bullet that comes in a case of 30. (2 words) 5) A bike wheel that’s like your girlfriend’s ass. (2 words) 7) How could such a delightful beer by named for such a crappy bird? (2 words) 11) A crown of shit is still a crown. Served with lime. 12) Champagne, in 12-ounce can form. (3 words) 13) The seed of Hans, from The Simpsons. 14) St. Louis isn’t worthless after all. 15) If you worship a Mexican sun god,
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