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Flamin Nora: UKIP '

Nora goes solo on yet another orange crate debate. This month it's a one-woman tyrade against a political party she has particularly personal 'beef' with at the moment - to which Tamar had no desire whatsoever to counter argue…

‘Why Ukip are nobbers’ by Nora Dimitrova, 22 and a half years old.

I won’t pretend that I haven’t felt personally attacked and offended by Ukip’s hate campaign on the “29 million Bulgarians and Romanians”. Last summer a regular drinker at work asked me whether I’d have to marry an English citizen to remain in this country indefinitely and a couple of months ago an old primary school friend asked me why I hadn’t “gone home” yet. I’ve tried to brush it off over the last few week but I just can’t, and not because I was born in Bulgaria and have family there, but because this sort of covert racism and outright xenophobia are not acceptable today, and mostly because I was taught that singling out people and picking on them is wrong. Blaming a certain group of people for a country’s hardship doesn’t sound at all familiar, does it? Of course, it isn’t racist or xenophobic if Ukip want to limit immigration, right? Is it racist to want to control the borders and have manageable levels of immigration? No, it really isn’t. It’s the little words that really make a difference. But it is wrong to look for a scapegoat for why this country has been in decline over the last few years. It is wrong to provide people with false figures. It is wrong to refer to two completely different countries that have very little in common as one. It is wrong to take advantage of gullible people and make promises that cannot and will not be fulfilled. It is wrong to claim that most immigrants currently living in the UK claim

benefits when in reality the Eastern European migrants who arrived after the 2004 EU enlargement are 60% less likely to be receive benefits or tax credits than the natives. The Department for Work and Pensions stated that 5% of non-British EU citizens claimed an ‘out of work benefit’ compared to 13% of Britons claiming the same benefits. Migrants from outside the EU were also considerably less likely to rely on benefits and tax credits. The idea that over half a million of Bulgarians and Romanians will be immigrating to the UK just in 2014 is actually laughable when you take into consideration that Bulgaria’s population is just under 7 million. So yes, Ukip’s immigration policy reminds me of a desperate baby sitter trying to hold their charge's attention with a box of shiny objects. They are the uninterested mothers who would rather buy her child a T-shirt than investigate why the old one was ripped and covered in blood. It is easier to blame the outsiders rather than do some work, make cuts for the better and

“Our membership of the EU costs £53million a day and another £23 million a day goes out in foreign aid”. Those really are impressive figures but if there is one thing I took away from Commercial and Contract law, it is definitely this well-known rule – “If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t”. Being a member state provides huge benefits ranging from free movement of goods and people to cheaper mobile phone roaming charges and flights. Norway for instance is not a member of the EU but due to the European Economic Area agreement they are free to trade with member states so long as they adopt relevant EU legislation. It seems that leaving the EU would result in higher prices on imports and exports and restrictions on British citizens wishing to work abroad but complete freedom from EU laws. The alternative would be to follow in Norway’s footsteps and save money on trade but still abide EU law. Interestingly enough, none of the above is mentioned in Ukip’s manifesto. In fact, unlike the Conservative party, Ukip

Nigel Farage, Leader of Ukip – and 'man of the people'...

be hated. Another issue Ukip really like to push is leaving the European Union. It’s in the name after all. The EU has robbed and controlled this country far too long and it is time to break its oppressive shackles. I’d like to now quote from their manifesto, which I would like you to read aloud in an insulting and dismissive voice,

(Image from

don’t appear to have an actual plan as to how and when the UK should leave the EU because they seem to completely ignore the fact that there are currently trade relationships, organisations and administrative issues to consider first. Sparing potential voters the fact that leaving the EU, the party’s main agenda, will be a lengthy, costly and frustrating process is a

flaw that former party members like Martha Andreasen have drawn attention to but in vain, it seems. Nevertheless, if there ever was a gap in the political market for a confused, slightly racist and paranoid party, Ukip have undoubtedly filled it. What really cements my dislike of Ukip however is their refusal to grant same sex couples the same basic right everyone else is entitled to, the right to marry. To add further insult to injury, Ukip stand behind the ridiculous belief that only a “small but noisy” minority within the gay community demand the right to marry, thus making this issue unimportant. Gays are more than happy to have fewer rights than heterosexuals it seems. According to Ukip anyway. This issue of marriage equality is a great inconvenience apparently, and one caused by the European Court. If it weren’t for those pesky human rights, people would not have realised that the gay community is being discriminated against. However, let’s not mistake Ukip’s concern for Britain as a refusal to enter the 21st century. According to their website, current proposals to change the law would lead to nothing but monstrous tyranny. If the Government is to forbid Churches from marrying gay couples that would be tyrannous and would no doubt lead to an intervention from the European Court. However, forcing Churches to marry gay couples due to EU law would be no less tyrannous. ND [ Lord Beestonia steps in: Nora’s rage writing this article reached a point where she literally couldn’t continue. While The Beestonian does not endorse one party over another, we are unanimous in our opinion that anyone using barely disguised racism, hate, lies and scaremongering to gain power is unwelcome in the wonderfully diverse land of Beestonia. As we go to press before the County election result is announced, we don’t know how they got on, but we’re hoping they made no in-roads into Beeston, Broxtowe, or anywhere in Nottinghamshire. We’d also like to say something about the BNP, but as few of them are able to read there is little point. – Ed.]

Issue 18 of The Beestonian  

auf wiedersehen pet, uni of beestonia, bestonian - chilwell road, live below the line, little sod, once upon a time in a shed..., horace's h...

Issue 18 of The Beestonian  

auf wiedersehen pet, uni of beestonia, bestonian - chilwell road, live below the line, little sod, once upon a time in a shed..., horace's h...