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Earth-we need it. It doesn't need us. w w w . t h e a l c h e m i s t w e e k l y . c o m V O L U M E 3 N U M B E R 1 5 4 : 2 3 • D E C E M B E R 1 4 - D E C E M B E R 2 0 , 2 0 1 0

Symbi-awesome CoHo EcoVillage strives for sustainability by Steve Hunter p. 6

Bump events calendar p.8 Poetics & more p. 13


voice

SYMPOSIUM symposium

VOLUME 3 NUMBER 154:23, DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010 Editorial

VOIC E

Editors Courtney Clenney, Stanley Tollett Staff Writers Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor Courtney Clenney Contributors Joshua D. Bligh, Kiler Davenport, Dirtstir, Steve Hunter, M.L., Zachery Roland, Sean, Michael Thomas

Opi n i on s a n d Editor ia ls , b e t h e y ours or yours , t h i s i s wh e re th e y be.

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Dirtstir

Art

V ERDIC T

Art Director Freddy Ruiz Layout Editor Courtney Clenney Cover Photo Stanley Tollett

We ’ l l b e t h e judge. You be th e jur y...you tr us t us r ig h t?

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Tirade

Account Executive Noah Stroup

Business

W ORD

Publisher Noah Stroup The Alchemist Weekly is published by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339

J o u r n a l i st s c a l l th e m f e a tu re s; we say it ’s th e word.

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CoHo

Alchemist Mission

B U MP

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As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Albany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis-Albany. The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves.

I t ’s t h e c alendar of al l t h i n g s A l b a ny, Cor v a l lis , L e b a n on , a nd P h iloma th .

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Crossword

LITERATI

Am a t e u r p ro se, poetr y and fi c t i on st i l l h a s a h om e.

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Poetics & more

yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are welcome to take enough copies for your family. Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box

Where did all the punk rockers go? I’ve got one question for Corvallis and the greater Linn/Benton area. Where’s my peeps? Where are all the mohawks and studded leather jackets? Last I noticed, that scoundrel Capitalism has not checked out of the game and is more oppressive than ever. So where are the DIY (Do-it-yourselfers) with their sneering disdain? All I see is pissy little emo brats with ape-drapes and purple shoelaces who’d rather paste self-deprecating song lyrics on their Facebook status’s than talk activism. The tepid hipsters are also an accursed lot. Talk. Sip Latte. Talk. Something, something, something, Bukowski. Where is that old attitude that allows no latitude? Am I the only one in this town who sees a national eclipse forthcoming? It’s time to dust off those spurs, polish your spikes and get out the egg-whites. The Corvallis subculture is having a tea party while capitalism sinks its fangs into our rights. To set the record straight, I was not old enough to draw Hitler ‘staches on pictures of Ronald Reagan. I am 28, a student, and a second wave punker who gleaned social contempt from bands like Operation Ivy, Bad Religion and Choking Victim. Not that it was all about the music, of course I have eyeballs and can think cognitively. I grew up in Ventura, Calif. where the scene was violently strong...murderous even. I remember being sixteen, nursing on a 40 of Cobra under the bridge with my friends before taking to Main Street Ventura looking for skinheads to beat up. Spanging change to go see NOFX at the Ventura Theater and smack talking the religiousRight at every available opportunity. Of course, there was the banality of youth involved, so maybe we weren’t as charged for causes as we should have been, but damn did we have the fire and the style! Punk Rock style is hands down the most creative and visionary style there ever was. I remember the hours spent forcing needle and thread through my leather jacket. Constant pin pricks pro-

duced the right to say “my blood and sweat went into this,” but it was so much more! With Glen Danzig barking “We Are 138!” in the middle-ground, emotions were high, precision honed, and by the time the second coat of white acrylic went around the collar what you had was a masterpiece to wear out on the streets every day. An exultant declaration of bossy mirth and non-conformity. The clothing spoke for itself, and best of all, pissed people off. It pissed them off because they couldn’t, for the life of them, understand why a young man would want to dye his hair pink and wear inch-long spikes on his coat. And, it didn’t stop at hair and jackets. It was a rite of passage in the punk culture, in Ventura, to sport a bum-flap. A bumflap is a piece of cloth (or several pieces) sewn together and worn from the belt. The bum-flap tradition started with the homeless punks (or gutter punks) who used to wear the same pants day in and day out and would wear holes in them so they invented a functional cloth that covered the bum. Now, the gutter-punk kids didn’t like it when they saw the house-punk kids wearing bum flaps and sometimes those kids would be teased so badly they would second guess being punk anymore—no, you had to get in swell with the Gutters (usually by doing something like yanking on a business man’s tie or egging a cop car). But, after you had their respect, you could fly the flap free from scrutiny. I decided I’d make a bum-flap with the Crass logo on it. My next duty of course was to get a Crass CD and actually hear what they sounded like. No subculture that has come before punk has been so self-effacing, yet also strong and militarized. Punk morals included eradicating homophobia, racism, sexism, and lobbying for an anarchist system. The idea that atheism is a benefit and patriotism was sickening wasn’t anything new—Oscar Wilde

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THE ALCHEMIST

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM


voice

D I Rstir T

Compromising a Capsizing

The Obama tax package is horrible. It is nothing more than our political representatives continuing their capsize, half of them rolling to get their bellies scratched, and the other half rolling over like dead fish. Too bad the first half can’t eat the second half and get salmonella. Republicans in Congress vowed to stonewall any actions brought forward by the Democrats unless tax cuts were extended to the previously endangered 1% of individual incomes over $250,000 (the 2% figure we hear for this bracket refers to total household income), resulting in GW Bush tax cuts (income, EIC, child credits, etc.) being extended for all income levels and a 13-month extension of unemployment benefits. Thankfully, this will keep about $200/$10,000 income in the taxpayer’s pocket, and around 2 million persons continuing to receive benefits. The estate tax could to be reinstated at a rate of 35% after $5million, lower than 55% after the first $1million, the rate before the cuts. Social Security will drop 2% for a year, putting an extra $400 or so in my pocket, but denying an equal amount to a system slowly bleeding out from being tapped by agencies borrowing funds from said system. People suppose the tax package will stimulate the economy. I say it continues the flow of wealth to the top. Any extra monies the 90+% of us making under $100,000 (from Wiki etal.) will most likely go to debt reduction, necessaries or emergencies, nothing more than postponement. Those with control of corporation and capital investment will likely capitalize and reinvest in further control of the majority’s debt, necessaries, and creating the emergencies that maintain the spiral.

EastCoastTerror

Last week, another naturalized citizen got stung by the FBI, this time in Baltimore. Antonio Martinez wanted to blow up a recruiting center. His attempts to solicit allies and assistance via computer and personal contact were fruitless, others actually tried to talk him out of it or wanted nothing to do with any plan. That is, until an FBI informant made contact with Martinez. I encourage you to read the Martinez affidavit at http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/documents/2010/12/ fbi-affidavit-against-antonio-martinezalleged-military-recruitment-centerbomber.php?page=14. Again, I am in no way condoning the young man’s actions. In paragraph 25 of the affidavit, after hearing of the FBI setup of Mohamud in Portland, Martinez contacted the FBI informant wanting to know who this ‘brother’ (the undercover agent posing as a Jihadist) is he’s been dealing with and expressed concern he didn’t want to be set up. The informant and Martinez meet later, and just like with a major plot development in the Mohamud case, there was

a recording machine malfunction and the meeting wasn’t recorded. Somewhere in the ether, his zeal was renewed. In closing, read the affidavit for a different perspective. It’s shorter than Mohamud’s, at only 18 pages, and you don’t have to read the last page because it is a copy of the previous page. What worries me is, page 17 ends with, “Martinez then proceeded to drive the...”, then nothing further. There is no conclusion to the affidavit.

C O RVAvanities LLIS

King Julian

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is currently cooling his heels in British gaol for sexy-play violations occurring on or about August 14 and 17. Forgive me for making light, but the events are almost surreal. Sweden, the mythical homeland of blonde-bombshell-porn (made mostly in Germany), is charging him with “sex by surprise” according to his lawyer (aol. com). I do think the charges trumped, but I wonder why he wasn’t nabbed for distributing sensitive classified documents. Maybe there are no grounds to arrest him regarding the documents. Critics say Assange is endangering Americans, but all I see is further enlightenment of how our leaders endanger Americans. Some say the leaks are akin to spouses spilling secrets. I say our government is married to the American people, and maybe our spouse wouldn’t be so scared to share the secrets with us if they weren’t so scared of being sued for divorce.

Parking RiskIts!

Hot on the heels of the $4.50 Sustainable Initiative Fee increase to your water bill will be a 2.4% increase approved by the City Council at their December 6 meeting. These added costs will go into effect January 1. Also of interest, is the newly imposed limit of three hours in downtown public parking. Previously a 24 hour parking zone, this action has many potential impacts. Someone parking downtown before drinking during the day (it happens) could easily be ticketed by leaving a car downtown too long, after taking a cab home. Late night drinkers may be tempted to drive home, knowing if they don’t retrieve their auto by late morning they risk a ticket. People rendezvousing to take one car to another destination, leaving vehicles in public parking, risk a ticket. Going to the gym, doing a little shopping, and getting a bite to eat could easily require one moving a vehicle to avoid a ticket. I really, Really, REALLY look forward to this being enforced next football season when a huge amount of downtown parking is monopolized by people attending the sporting event. Content to disgruntle the daily downtown denizens, I doubt the City’s desire or capability to confront that collection of cars. Alliteration is fun. -TJc dirtstirreply@gmail.com

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The thoughts, views, and opinions expressed in Voice are of their authors and do not necessarily represent the thoughts, views or opinions of CorvAlcheMedia, LLC.

The Alchemist Weekly welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to submissions@thealchemistweekly.com or snail mail to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a selfaddressed, stamped envelope.

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DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

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voice Symposium cont'd from pg. 2

once said: “Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious.” Sadly, many of the punks did it for the wrong reasons. Style and vanity, of course, had a bent appeal for many, but at the heart of it, there were some true-bloods (like myself, I’d like to think) that rallied change. Not anarchy, in particular, I always thought that idea was unrealistic. I wanted a world free from starvation and greed. And, in my young mind, I believed if we fought tooth-and-nail, we would achieve it. I saw not only America, but the world, as a fundamentally flawed place. Rich in resources, but poor in humanity. I couldn’t understand why people, namely children, had to die because of bombs and war. And, I still wonder and get agitated. I had a few friends in Ventura die before I finally retired my spurs. One friend, a gutter punk kid, was hit by a train after passing out drunk on the tracks, and a girl I once dated overdosed on Tylenol III. For years afterwards I still dressed the part but kept a more assorted array of friends. I branched out and got to know others whose own interests didn’t compliment my own. It was a brilliant move. I don’t blame punk rock for the death of my friends nor do I blame myself. I blame the antithesis of anarchy for their untimely demise. But, I’d be blathering all blooming day if I got into that. As far as contributions go, punk rock has made a few. As for styles, punk rock style not only takes the cake but blows the birthday candles straight off the f***ing frosting. The ingenuity and creativity that went into the clothing also went into our ideals. It was okay to look different too because you were not alone. I guess what it boils down to, is maybe I just don’t understand the subcultures today. Snobbery seems to have infiltrated us—from intellectual snobbery to music snobbery, to lukewarm little fence-sitters who don’t believe in a damn thing other than the next chance

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DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

THE ALCHEMIST

to pontificate and self-congratulate. I was playing foosball at Squirrel’s the other night with my roommate when a man not quite in his twilight years approached me. He had seen my Bauhaus back patch and felt the need to sling a compliment. The guy was all GQ, short raven hair and wearing Birkenstocks. “I was wayyyyyy into the scene man! I mean, ’77, I was there! I saw the Dead Kennedy’s play and smoked pot with Jello.” Of course, this older man made me feel old, but I saw the unmistakable twinkle in his eyes. It could have been the booze, but I don’t think so. I think if his memories of his listless punk rock days are anything like mine, the sparkle was real. But, why does it have to be reduced to a sparkle in the eyes of the aging and aged? I beg the question once more, and this time I mean it. Where are my peeps? The world is still roiled by greed and nationalism. There are still the poor, dispossessed and starving. There are still bad cops and seedy corporations. But, there are none of us. The streets are somewhat bland at best without seeing a foot-tall rooster-hawk from time to time on Monroe. This is not a casting call, but an homage paid to the subculture that fought for culture. Those hardboiled subterranean freedom-fighters that wouldn’t sit when told. Those that literally spat in the face of conformity and Republicanism. Cheers to punk rock! Oi! Political (“REAL”) punk bands that are still keeping it going: •Leftover Crack •Propaghandi •Bad Religion (yep, they’re still putting out albums) •F-Minus •Citizen Fish •Morning Glory -Joshua D. Bligh think@thealchemistweekly.com

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verdict

Tirade Goes Technicolor Bookworm

Burgundy Wherewithal and The Green Flash at Dusk

Revolutionary Road (1961) by Richard Yates

by: M.L.

by: Michael Thomas

Not to say you were forced into tunnel vision if you wanted to romp around with Tirade on past albums, or that they failed to offer up a myriad of styles and emotions for your listening pleasure, or any for your comfort, for that matter. But, this one seems to go further, the most recent layer in a sort of, stretching-their-limbs-while-managingto-retain-their-body-mass, progression. So, what happens when you put it on? Some new and imagined dreamscapes start talking to you, and you wander around in the middle. They send you further out than they took you before, and ever further still. Places or things that should be friendly can bite, and heavy weather can be beautifully cloaked indeed. Punk courts psychedelic, psychedelic fondles folk, folk gets experimental excited, but none of them are committed. The styles trade partners, go solo, or even jump into bed all at once. Songs are replete with new sounds, yes, and sights, and smells, and even tastes. You don’t know how they will be packaged, or who will be there with you, and the preceding song gives you no hint. You may find yourself locked in a barn with the band, in “The Subconscious Hoedown,” in which all manner of species may pop out of the woodwork at any moment, some of whom you may be surprised to find can interbreed. You can drift away from some city quarter on a barge in “The January House,” forgetful of the time of day or the time of year, or indeed exactly what place it is that you’re leaving anyway, but somehow decide that you’re okay with that. “Word Problem” sits you in a desk and asks you to pick a time, any time, in which you were intimidated in elementary school, and then forces you to examine how you’ve dealt with that. And, some beauty still is unadulterated, Thank God! “In the Light of the Early Summer” could be just the reminder that we all need from time to time. We really could lay back in a field and survive on liking being here. And, a very sweet sound that makes. A look-to-the-sunrise sort of hope? Dare I say it floats around in chunks in the Wherewithal as well? (For lack of a term more palatable to the punk-rock stomach.) There’s a little more reclamation, now, a little more…maturity (oh, no). A little more inside organ squish than 5 years ago Too Far From the Womb to Turn Back Now. And, in Beware of Chandelier, heavy light fixtures most definitely could, and did, drop on your head if you weren’t looking. Tirade has seemed to take more liberties as they’ve honed their skills in the last few years, accepting new instruments and new

The very first novel by any author of particular notoriety is generally seen through the lens of our times whereby its composition and general effect is held against the façade of the author and used as a first stepping stone to trace the performative trajectory of that writer’s lifework. Like the great filmmakers, our greatest writers—Joyce, Faulkner, McCarthy, Morrison—do not always present us with a succinct and perfect first work. Richard Yates, while not alone in his defiance, is an exception. The use of suburbia as tragedy and as a means by which its inhabitants become asphyxiated by their environments was not a new concept in the early sixties. It goes back, in essence, to the writings of Henry David Thoreau in the mid nineteenth century and was treated more famously the year before Yates’ book was published, in John Updike’s Rabbit, Run (1960). But there is something about Revolutionary Road (1961) that prevails. The disintegration of its characters marriage feels graphic, morbid, and genuine where Rabbit, Run and other tragic suburban works are sorrowful and embittering. Centering on a young couple living in New England in the fifties, Revolutionary Road remains a powerful condemnation of small-town-middle-class America principally because Frank and April Wheeler, and their neighbors and associates, are so horribly familiar to us now, fifty years later. In their silences and stark-raving furies, their struggle to conform to their surroundings and their inability to break free from their restraints, our contemporary society is discernible. The arguments between husband and wife are so painful to read because, when taken from the context of the novel, they could be seen as a transcript relating any argument we have overheard or taken part in ourselves—desperate, suffocating, incensed.

sets of hands into the fold, including Nate Pope and his fast fingers, Justin Groft, and Dave Nicol. All guest performers on the new album in addition to the regular line-up. After passionately messing around with each other, choosing titles like Albuminium (a big word) and Pretentious Soundscapes (a phrase that covers their ass before any critic could judge them for deviation from more hard-core roots), may have allowed for more ease of Tirade’s expansion. This is not to say that nothing swings at you in this one, that nothing screams at you, that nothing gives you a good old slap in the face, or does not confirm your suspicion that getting drunk on occasion to keep trucking in life is necessary. It’s just that whatever big guy Tirade was before, looks bigger, and has decided to show that he’s a little more wellrounded than you may have thought. He can still stamp his foot and make the ground shake, get red faced and yell at you in nonsense words that have a point, or call people around him on their bullshit. He can sneer, his humor can spit. Grim stories are still told. But you get winked at. He chuckles. He pretends to be a woman, tells you of his past as a woodsman, tells you to go do something interesting, and even sits you on his lap, pats you on the back, and gives you a, “Cheer up, son, the whole thing’s grand!” He waves you off during “The Glacial Lake Incident,” letting you go digest his dirty-rainbow account of the world he just presented on a big platter. This is Tirade’s first album with a cover in color.

The book’s venom sinks deep, eating away tissue, never settling. Moving away from the more intimate aspects of Revolutionary Road, the work also undresses the conformist mind set of the suburbs at large by linking its entity with the people who call it home and treating both as a mask for failed aspirations and quiet resolve. Yates uses the first paragraph of his book to emphasize the character’s needs to project something artificial and diverting by which to dissuade themselves from their hopeless settlement. But even the projection is unconvincing. Yates writes, “The final dying sounds of their dress rehearsal left the Laurel Players with nothing to do but stand there, blinking out over the footlights of an empty auditorium,” (3). The suburbs and their people are frozen in place, ashen with light, and alone in a yawning, pitiless cavity. From its opening scene, the suffering and dislocation of Revolutionary Road is still relevant; it is still a work of mighty despair.

“Burgundy Wherewithal and The Green Flash At Dusk” is available at Happy Trails, Tirade shows, and through the band’s Myspace page (www.myspace.com/tiradeyeehaw).

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THE ALCHEMIST

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

5


word

Symbi-awesome

CoHo EcoVillage strives for sustainability Photos by Stanley Tollett

C

oHo EcoVillage lies quietly nestled between Crystal Lake Drive and the wetlands of Crystal Lake in South Corvallis. If not for the sign with their name on it at the entrance to the parking lot, I’d have never guessed there was anything special about it the first time I went there. It looked like a fairly standard apartment complex—nicely painted, recently built, placed in a somewhat surprising location perhaps— teve unter but at first glance, ordinary.

S H

This only holds true if you don’t look twice. CoHo (derived from “co-housing”) is one of a growing number of intentional communities now peppering the American landscape. As its name suggests, ecological considerations are a high priority for this particular community, though this is not necessarily the case for every co-housing group. It is a far cry from the archetypal image of a hippy commune, called to mind for most when any type of cooperative living is mentioned, and if there is any communism to be found here, it is certainly not of the totalitarian variety. All decisions are made by consensus, and though the process is lengthy, the hard-won results are undeniably worthwhile to its participants. A mostly-completed wooden fence runs along the sidewalk, bordering the south edge of the parking lot. The planks are rough-hewn from trees that once grew on site, and the posts are still in the shape of the trunks they were cut from. The rustic barricade looks sturdy enough to survive a hurricane. It’s been under construction for well over a year, and once completed it will probably not need to be replaced during the lifetime of anyone reading this article. Things here are built as if it could be a very long time before the materials become available again. Near the fence’s eastern termination point is the Bike Barn – a massive enclosure housing the majority of residents’ primary vehicles. One of the community’s stated objectives is to de-emphasize use of the automobile, and this place keeps their preferred mode of transport dry and secure. There is at least one family in CoHo that is completely automobile free—a choice whose practicability is enhanced by Corvallis’ bike-friendliness, but remains no small feat

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for a young family of four. The Bike Barn and nearby workshop also provide storage for a broad selection of tools, and space to work on bikes or building projects. This allows the community to reduce unnecessary property duplication substantially. “We have three lawn mowers for thirty-plus residences,” Mike Volpe said. “And one workshop for thirty-four homes,” Craig Hall Cutting added. It’s the familiar concept of a public library in an unfamiliar application, and hints at a world of unexplored possibilities. What would your life look like if you no longer needed to personally own anything you didn’t use daily? Like other structures in the community with sufficient exposure to the southern sky, the roof of the Bike Barn supports a row of solar panels, with which the community hopes to produce as much of its own energy as possible. Generating energy from locally available resources is one of many ways that CoHo is working toward a human community that recognizes and honors its interde-

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

THE ALCHEMIST

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word pendence with the local ecosystem. According to Daniel Quinn, author of Ishmael and its sequels, we humans need such communities, especially if we are to have any hope of creating a sustainable society. Humans didn’t evolve as rugged individualists, but as members of groups, whose individual survival depended on the survival of all other members of the group. He believes that in order to save the world from an impending ecological collapse, humans need to figure out how to live as part of their local ecosystems—and begin doing so. This spirit of community is visible in the young fruit trees protruding from breaks in the grass along Crystal Lake Drive, emerging proudly vigilant from planters in the parking lot, standing on queue in the orchard, and popping up from place to place elsewhere on the land. Considerable emphasis has been placed on ensuring that the plant life cultivated here are native and/or noninvasive species. The needs of plants and other wildlife are considered in decisions, and a very large portion of the property is essentially untouched to preserve a natural Camas meadow. Between the homes, which are in blocks of three or four condominium-style units per building, snakes a smooth asphalt footpath, just wide enough for a single automo-

bile, but almost never driven upon by one. Children’s bicycles, big wheels, skateboards, and Razor scooters lounge about its edges, waiting for an energetic youngster (or sometimes oldster) to take a spin, and in the meantime lend themselves to passersby as subtle reminders of youthful bliss, and perhaps a caution against forgetting one’s original priorities. Two rows of residences, with front doors facing each other, lie parallel to the conspicuously compact parking lot and form an “L” shape with a single row along Crystal Lake Drive. There are 34 housing units in all, ranging from one-bedroom townhouses to four-bedroom flats. The interior living spaces have lower than average square footage. “Having smaller homes, which was done intentionally, means there is less space to store things, so you’re not going to buy as much stuff if you have nowhere to put it,” Cutting said. Amaris Franz, who lives at CoHo and also runs a small child care facility there, points out, “for me, having smaller houses means there’s more room for an orchard, chickens, and maybe someday a goat.” Where the two branches of domiciles intersect sits a handsome, deliberate, asymmetrical structure—nucleus of community life—the Common House. A windowed

rectangular tower juts up from near its center, bathing the foyer in daytime with an extra splash of natural light, reminding the huge windows in the walls below of its existence, and helpful disposition. Radiating from the foyer are a comfortably furnished library with a wood stove, the community laundry/recreation room (where, if you leave your clothes in the washing machine too long, someone else will put them in the dryer for you instead of throwing them on the floor or stealing them), a children’s play room stocked with plenty of non-toxic toys, an office nook, a bathroom with a shower in it, a guest room (doubling as music room when not in use by a visitor), a bulletin board full of community-related news and information, and finally the community dining and meeting room, with its adjacent kitchen and pantry. Here, the community congregates for meals (held several times per week and usually featuring crops grown on site supplemented by groceries purchased in bulk by the community from local sources), meetings, and music. It performs alternately the functions of a restaurant, church, conference room, and concert hall without being any

continued on page 12

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DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

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tuesday

14 Corvallis

dance

Corvallis Elks Lodge 1400 NW 9th St. Beginner Line Dance 7:00 pm, $3 Impulse Bar & Grill 1425 NW Monroe Ave. Cuban Salsa 7:30 pm, FREE OSU Women’s Building Room 112 Salsa Dancing 8:00 pm

Lebanon

eclectic

Corvallis

Enoteca Wine Bar Girls night out! Knit night [CRAFT] 7:00 pm WineStyles 2333 NW Kings Blvd Tuesday Trivia League [THINK] 6:00 pm; $10 per team

Corvallis

lecture

Corvallis-Benton County Public Library 645 NW Monroe Ave. Michael Kinch: “The Agony & Ecstasy of a First Novel” 7 pm OSU Dixon Recreation Center 425 SW 26th St. First Aid with Adult CPR/AED 8:30 am, $35-$45

Cascade Performing Arts Center 800 Harrison St. Beginner Adult Ballet Classes 7:30-8:30 pm, $5

Corvallis

sing

Peacock Bar & Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE On the Top: DJ Big Cheese, 9:00 pm FREE Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Corvallis 2945 NW Circle Blvd. Corvallis Community Choir rehearsals 7-9 pm, $50

Lebanon

Merlin’s Bar & Grill Karaoke Nightly

live music

Corvallis

First Presbyterian Church 114 SW Eighth St. Corvallis Community Band [HOLIDAY] 7 pm prelude/7:30 pm concert, FREE Sunnyside Up Café 116 NW 3rd St. Celtic Jam [CELTIC] 7 pm, FREE

Albany Riley's Billiards Bar & Grill

Mack 10 & Glasses Malone [RAP] Thursday

Corvallis Corvallis-Benton County Library

$15 advance/ $20 at the door

"Welcom to Shelbyville"[FILM] Thursday, 7 pm

Contributed Photo

Contributed Photo

live music

Corvallis

First United Methodist Church 1165 NW Monroe Ave. Craig Hanson [CLASSICAL] 12:15 pm, Donations Sunnyside Up Café 116 NW 3rd St. Bluegrass Jam [BLUEGRASS] 7:00 pm, FREE

Cloud 9 126 SW 1st St. Beer & Blog 5 pm

wednesday

Enoteca Wine Bar Wine Tasting 7 pm, $10

Albany

stage

Lebanon

15

sing

Merlin’s Bar & Grill Karaoke Nightly

Albany Civic Theater 111 First Ave. SW "Meet me in St. Louis" 8 pm $10-$13

Lebanon

Peacock Bar & Grill East The Brand [BLUES] 7 pm

Tangent

Contributed Photo

Dixie Creek Saloon Battle of the Bands 7:00 pm, FREE

Albany

eat/drink

Corvallis

dance

Albany Eagles Lodge 127 Broadalbin St Albany Senior Dance 1:30-3:30 pm, $3 Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Pure Country Night - Country Dancing with DJ 9:00pm

Corvallis First United Methodist Church

Craig Hanson [CLASSICAL] Wednesday, 12:15 pm

Corvallis

Old World Deli 341 SW Second St. Belly Dance 8 pm Peter Gysegem’s Studio Argentine Tango Classes 7:15 pm, $5 peter@gysegem.com

8

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

THE ALCHEMIST

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM


16

eclectic

Corvallis

Corvallis-Benton County Public Library 645 NW Monroe Ave. "Welcome to Shelbyville" [FILM] 7 pm

Albany

stage

Albany Civic Theater 111 First Ave. SW “Meet Me in St. Louis" 8 pm $10-$13

Lebanon

sing

Merlin’s Bar & Grill Karaoke Nightly

dance

Albany

live music

Albany

Calapooia Brewing Johnny Now & Marquis du Springfield [BLUES] 8 pm

Albany Eagles Lodge 127 Broadalbin St. NW Line dance, couples dance lessons and open dancing 7 pm, $4

Riley's Billiards Bar & Grill 1224 Broadalbin St. SW Mack 10 & Glasses Malone [RAP] $15 advance/ $20 at the door

Corvallis

Corvallis

Peacock Bar & Grill Karaoke, 9:00 pm On the top DJ Mike, 9:00 pm, $2

eat/drink

Corvallis

Enoteca Wine Bar Chocolate Truffle Happy Hour FREE Truffles 6-8 pm First Alternative Co-Op North 2855 NW Grant Ave. Beer tasting, 5-7 pm

ads@thealchemistweekly.com

thursday

Bombs Away Café Curtis Monette & Friends [CURTRONICA] 9 pm Papa's Pizza Parlor 1030 SW Third St. Northwest Banjo Band [BANJO] 6:30 pm

Advertise your band here. Cool.

Lebanon

Peacock Bar & Grill East Blues Jam 7 pm

WineStyles 2333 NW Kings Blvd. Wine tasting: Hestia Winery 5:30, $7

Photo by Peter Chee

Nominated for 3 Alchemist Awards

Liquor Bar, Bartender and Place to Hide During the School Year 214 SW 2nd - Behind Downtown Dream - 753 7373

COME WAT WAY DOWN INSIDE... HONEY, YOU NEED IT...

Open on

CROW LOTTA LOVE

Corvallis Bombs Away Café

Curtis Monette & Friends [CURTRONICA] Thursday, 9 pm

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THE ALCHEMIST

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

9


bump

Corvallis First Presbyterian Church 114 SW Eighth St. Molly's Revenge with Moira Smiley [CELTIC] Friday, 7:30 pm, $18 Contributed Photo

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friday

eat/drink

Corvallis

First Alternative Co-Op South 1007 S.E. 3rd St. Wine Tasting 5-7 pm WineStyles 2333 NW Kings Blvd. Friday Night Flights 5-8 pm

Albany

eclectic

Lavender & Lace Etc. 311 First Ave. NW Horse-Drawn Christmas Caroling Wagon [HOLIDAY] $6-$10, reservation recommended: 541.908.5778

Albany

dance

Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Ladies Night with DJ Unofficial 9 pm

Corvallis

Corvallis Senior Center 2601 NW Taylor Ave. Friday Night Dancers 7 pm, $2-$4 Wanted Saloon 140 NW Third St. "Latin X Night" [LESSONS] 9:30 pm, $2

Corvallis

sing

Peacock Bar and Grill Karaoke, 9 pm On the Top: DJ Alex, 9 pm

Lebanon

Lebanon High School Lebanon Community sing-along & silent auction 6 pm, proceeds go to the band/ choir spring trips Merlin’s Bar & Grill Karaoke Nightly

Tangent

Dixie Creek Saloon Karaoke 9 pm

Albany

stage

Albany Civic Theater 111 First Ave. SW Meet Me in St. Louis 8 pm $10-$13

Corvallis

live music

Albany

First Assembly of God Church 2817 Santiam Hwy SE “An Albany First Assembly Christmas" [HOLIDAY] 7 pm, complimentary tickets at Fred Meyers Jewelers at Heritage Mall

Corvallis

Bombs Away Café Jeremy's Solo Acoustic Experience [ACOUSTIC] 9 pm FireWorks Al Rivers [BLUES] 8 pm

Contributed Photo

First Presbyterian Church 114 SW Eighth St. Molly's Revenge with Moira Smiley [CELTIC] 7:30 pm, $18 Starbucks (outside) 425 SW Madison Ave. Huayllipacha-Andes musicians [CULTURAL] 10 am-6 pm

Magestic Theatre 115 SW Second St. Willamette STAGE Company: "A Christmas Carol" 8 pm $16-$19

Contributed Photo

Corvallis Big River Restaurant & Bar, 101 NW Jackson Ave. Three Fingered Jack [CELTIC] Saturday, 8:30 pm

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Albany Calapooia Brewing Robert Richter [ACOUSTIC] Saturday 8 pm

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

It's an everyday thing Albany Downtown Albany 250 Broadalbin St. SW Night Time Magic 5-10 pm through December 31 Festively Lit Historic District

3700 Knox Butte Rd. Christmas Storybook Land [HOLIDAY] 6:30-8:30 pm through December 17

Corvallis The Arts Center 700 SW Madison Heritage Mall Where Birds Dream [EXSanta [HOLIDAY] 7 am-10 pm Friday through HIBIT] 12-5 pm Tuesday-Saturday December 24 Adopt a Child for Furniture through December 24 Share’s “Beds for Kids” See’s Candies holiday gift through December 24 center 113 SW 3rd St. Ste. A Linn County Fair & Expo [BUY] 9 am-7 pm through Center, Cascade Livestock December 26 Building

THE ALCHEMIST

TEAL Artist Cooperative 120 SW Fourth St. Local Art Display [BUY] 10-6 pm, through December 28

Lebanon Linn County Arts Guild 680 Main St. Handcrafted in Linn County gift store [BUY] 11 am-6 pm through December 23

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bump

18 Fresh Info

saturday

CRO S SWORD Inkwell Crosswords by Ben Tausig

live music

Albany

Calapooia Brewing Robert Richter [ACOUSTIC] 8 pm

Corvallis

Big River Restaurant & Bar 101 NW Jackson Ave. Three Fingered Jack [CELTIC] 8:30 pm Bombs Away Café The Svens [COWBOY SURF] 8:30 pm, FREE

eclectic

Corvallis

Greenbelt Land Trust Office, carpool to Little Willamette 101 SW Western Blvd. Birding Field Trip [A sustainability event] 9 am

Lebanon

Lebanon Coffeehouse & Eatery 661 Main Street Saturday Afternoon Free Movie [SEE] 2pm – 4pm

eat/drink

Cloud 9 Ala Nar w/ the smoldering Janikea dancing [ARABIC/TURKIC] 9 pm

Corvallis

FireWorks Ancient Ways Marimba Ensemble: Zimbabwe Benefit Concert [MARIMBA] 8 pm

Lebanon

Starbucks (outside) 425 SW Madison Ave. Huayllipacha-Andes musicians [CULTURAL] 10 am-6 pm

Lebanon

Lebanon Coffeehouse & Eatery 661 Main Street Live Music 6:30pm

Albany

dance

Riley’s Billiards Bar and Grill Ladies Night with DJ Unofficial 9 pm

Bombs Away Café The Svens [COWBOY SURF] Saturday 8:30 pm, FREE

WineStyles Wine Tasting 4 pm, $5 Lebanon Coffeehouse & Eatery 661 Main Street Saturday Breakfast & Brunch (Mimosa's) 9 am – 2 pm

Corvallis

stage

Magestic Theatre 115 SW Second St. Willamette STAGE Company: "A Christmas Carol" 8 pm $16-$19

Lebanon

sing

Merlin’s Bar & Grill Karaoke Nightly

Across 1. Watermelon, for Gallagher 5. Baker’s no. 8. My grandfather registered one for a voltage regulator circuit 14. “So this piece of string walks into ___” 15. WiFi password letters 16. Best-selling fantasy novel by Christopher Paolini 17. Site that unearths classified produce documents? 20. Examined, as a patient 21. Cartesian conclusion 22. Extremist discussed in some material released by 17-Across? 29. Word files and such 30. Beats by Dr. ___ (headphone line) 31. Singles’ final words? 32. It’s about 400 miles from LAX 33. Excess 35. Computer text code responsible for some goofy pictures 37. What the people at 17-Across do, among other things? 40. Add kick to 41. Salt agreements? 42. Charged subject in science class? 44. Final: Abbr. 45. Letters on the scoreboard of a sad, sad sports town 46. Magnanimous person’s words 47. What 54-Across promises to do if Interpol ever nabs him? 52. Okinawa “OK” 53. Den ___ (the Hague) 54. Founder of 17-Across? 62. Sort of 63. ___ Lanka 64. Maintains 65. Hair-of-the-dog hangover brunch choice 66. Inc., in England 67. “Bed Intruder Song,” e.g.

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sunday

Down 1. Cop a feel 2. Stat for Miguel Cabrera 3. High-quality table wood 4. Trippy glass things 5. Nerd’s relative 6. Became frank 7. Ringo’s drumming son 8. Get moving, on a bike 9. Potent appetizer, often 10. NBA body decoration, for short 11. Quality many associate with LeBron James 12. “Neither wind ___ rain ...” 13. 1990s Star Trek series abbr. 18. Actress Michele of “Glee” 19. Wave of interest in math? 22. Emulates many a grown-up child star 23. Hidden text embedded in video, in industry-speak 24. Just some 25. Chelsea gallery event 26. Comic Andrew Clay Silverstein’s adopted middle name 27. Will Shortz’s gig 28. Disgusting 33. Mall chain for bodybuilders 34. Go flat? 35. High card, usually 36. Medicare recipients: Abbr. 38. Baptism, e.g. 39. Exam material you really wouldn’t want to memorize 43. Gaming system with “Bubble Bobble” 45. Goatee’s place 46. Peak called “the little death” in French 48. Oakland ballclub 49. Country singer Tucker 50. Jew sporting sidecurls, perhaps 51. Smoke detector batteries, often 54. Beam mixed with Coke 55. It may precede sex 56. Flee 57. “Letters From ___ Jima” 58. TOEFL preparation course 59. Aberdeen denial 60. Place to take spinning, say 61. Jargony suffix

SUDOKU

www.sudoku-puzzles.net

3

8 5

1

6

9

4

1

4

6

3

2

8

6

7

monday

Photo by: Linda Schapper

Albany

FireWorks Cloud Mountain Ramblers [STRING BAND] 7 pm Starbucks (outside) 425 SW Madison Ave. Huayllipacha-Andes musicians [CULTURAL] 10 am-6 pm

Lebanon Contributed Photo

Corvallis

FireWorks Southtown Open Mic Talent Sear

Corvallis

Corvallis

FireWorks Cloud Mountain Ramblers [STRING BAND] Sunday 7 pm

Corvallis

eclectic

stage

Corvallis

Magestic Theatre 115 SW Second St. Willamette STAGE Company: "A Christmas Carol" 8 pm $16-$19

Merlin’s Bar & Grill Blues/Rock Jam 7 pm

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20

live music

Calapooia Brewing Blues Jam 4:00 pm

Corvallis

1

5

live music

Novak’s Hungarian Restaurant 2306 Heritage Way SE Strings of Time [MELODIC JAZZ] 6:00 pm, FREE

2

5 6

4

9

8

3

6

1

7 7

Difficulty: Medium

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lecture

OSU Dixon Recreation Center 425 SW 26th St. CPR/AED for the Professional Rescuer Recertification 1 pm, $30-$40

Avery Park Rose Garden to carpool 1210 SW Avery Dr. Naturalist Adventure [A sustainability event] 9 am Enoteca Wine Bar Book Group [READ] 7 pm

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

11


word Coho continued from page 7

of these things. “We have our entertainment here,” Bruce Hecht states, pausing to acknowledge a hitherto silent occupant of the room, “Including this large fly!” A burst of laughter from my interviewees erupts and lasts for a few seconds before he continues. “We have a lot things to engage us – social interactions – so we don’t have to go look for it.” The group fills me in on the details of a Contra Dance that was held recently in the Common House during a break from a multi-day Non-Violent Communication workshop. Bruce was one of the musicians for the dance; he plays accordion. At the last performance, “We played continuously for twenty-five minutes, we had sweat dripping down!” Hecht says. “Nobody’s going to judge you because we all trust each other,” Cutting says. Leela Devi went on to add, “It was also kinda crazy because of all the kids!” Children are both seen and heard at CoHo, at community meals, playing on the footpath, singing, and are present at many of the community functions. When a gathering calls for adult participation only, the community arranges childcare for anyone who needs it. The sense of support and security pursued here bears a strong resemblance to what Quinn refers to in his writing as the wealth of indigenous cultures. This type of wealth can’t be stolen like material products, and grows instead of diminishing when given. It is this wealth, he says, that has the potential to replace material wealth as a human priority and facilitate the reduced consumption necessary for the survival of our ecosystems, but citizens of the modern age can find it difficult to believe in since they have never experienced it. CoHo’s dedication to support is manifested in its treatment not only of children, but of disabled and elderly residents, as well. Two of the groups I’m interviewing are experiencing physical limitations that require them to get around using wheelchairs. CoHo’s paved walking paths are perfectly suited to accommodate such needs, and the ground level flats are wheelchair accessible, with sturdy handlebars installed to help with getting in and out of the bathtub. When Mike Volpe, who is now paralyzed below the neck because of Multiple Sclerosis, expressed an interest in CoHo during its formative stage, members established a non-profit organization called A Home In Community, which has raised the funds to help pay for his unit. “Because of this community, I can grow my own garlic,” Volpe says. “People volunteer to help me eat at community meals. Living here provides me with continuing education. People in this community don’t stand still, there’s always momentum moving forward. In another rental, I wouldn’t get that.” Joan Demeree, is more reserved, but agrees that there is a stronger sense of community here than other places she’s lived. She would like to be more involved, but isn’t able to because of her legs. Joan lives in CoHo because her son Dave Demeree owns one of the homes. During the day, she receives care from a hired helper, and the unit where she stays is also used for childcare, so she gets to spend a great deal

12

of time around children. As a group that is going the extra mile to achieve a sustainable lifestyle in the very region, if not city, where most readers of The Alchemist live, CoHo is a gold mine of practical experience that we ought to pay attention to. The more we know about what works there, the more we will know which paths are worth treading and which are likely dead ends in the quest for both sustainability and community. As the interview wound down, I asked the group for any suggestions they had for others who would like to increase their connection with the people around them. Mike: “Some people across the street are loaning out their land to neighbors to come and do gardening.”

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

Leela: “NVC. Also, In the neighborhood tat I came from before, I think we bonded around problems. A lot of the getting together had to do with various political issues, so sometimes it bonds, and sometimes it doesn’t.” Amaris: “Knock on doors, have your kids play in the neighborhood instead of looking for activities elsewhere. Connections with the other families so you can trust them to be able to baby-sit for you, instead of looking for childcare somewhere else.” Bruce: “Having a project that you can get together with the neighborhood on is a great way to pull a neighborhood together. If you can, find something like that.” Craig: “It takes intentionality. I have a brother in Minneapolis who’s lived in the

THE ALCHEMIST

same house for 40 years. They know everybody. They’ve intentionally gone to their neighbors and they host a block party every year. Even if there’s only four houses on your street you could get to know your neighbors, and you could have a potluck once a year, just so you feel like you know the people around you.”

More information on CoHo can be found at www.cohoecovillage.org. To find out more about AHIC, please visit www.ahomeincommunity.org. More on Daniel Quinn can be found at www.Ishmael.org.

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Real Feminism

literati

by: Zachery Roland

I have been criticized in my life for taking the internal perspective. Swimming in a sea of unfinished thoughts that never get the chance to drip from my tongue and fling themselves into reality. But recently, I have found my voice. I have entered the world of the opinionated. I have begun to raise my voice to the heavens and spout rhetoric that not a single soul listens to. But for once in my life, I can finish a thought. I can pluck a single crystal from the depths of my consciousness and shatter it upon the reality of people I care nothing about. People who do no more than bake within confines they don’t even know exist. People who float from star to star and never reach the heavens. People who call themselves “friend” based solely on a book of faces. People who claim to have brotherhood and sisterhood yet have no idea what family really means. People who...people who... People who ignore the eloquence of my words, spit upon my pristine logical clarity, and shun my unquestionable godliness. Because I tell them the truth. I stand on my soapbox, alone and unshaken, shouting at the top of my lungs exactly what they don’t want to hear. I impale them with fact and lynch them with reality. WOMEN GET RAPED Let me repeat myself in case you chose not to listen. MEN GET RAPED These are not some one in four statistic, they are not a news story about some foreign country with a name I can’t pronounce. They are the ones sitting next to you in your Intro to Women’s Studies class, they are the mothers you see at the store that “fell down the stairs” just that morning. They are the ones who walk around this town, this campus, with a smile on their face and pain, agonizing, gut wrenching, life ending, pain in their hearts. Because they have suffered at the hands of social injustice. So next time you see a stereotype standing on his white privileged male soapbox, stop and listen, you might just learn something.

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Endless Quest by: Kiler Davenport

We have set ourselves adrift in a mindless sea of self realization. A endless quest to answer unanswerable questions. Our unquenchable desire for clarification and position has left us empty and void. We cling to myth and superstition as a baby clings to a bottle hoping that something will come out and satisfy our never-ending thirst. Never at ease just to be. To silence the noise of nonsense. The mind in constant chaos refusing to let loose of self-imposed fictions that distance us from the truth. Nothing awaits us. Nothing precedes us. Nothing before us. Past, present, future all one in the same. Like blind worms we slither along this dusty path slowly devouring ourselves from the inside out. Consuming, conquering, obliterating, devastating everything in our path all in the name of God. A million gods have come and gone. Where do they now rest? Who is there to mourn their death? We cannot see ourselves because we live inside ourselves. Blinded by delusion and deception of our own making. Yet we search in vain. The endless and eternal quest for truth eludes us like the invisible wind we feel but cannot see. We have lifted ourselves up above so high we are blinded just to be.

I can’t dance by: Sean

“I want to dance with her.” That’s what I thought, seeing her standing there under a stop sign in the rain. Yet I feel dancing may be far to intimate an action than would ever be reasonable, as it is. To have her so close, presenting our own vulnerability so directly, her arm on my shoulder and mind on her side, with our other hands comfortably tangled together, pulling and tying us close. I would have my senses full, dealing with that. Having her close enough to to smell whatever fragrance would be wafting from her hair, seeing her beautiful face, so close to mine. It seems almost more than I would be able to bear, to feel her soft nimble hand in mine, moving together in a waltz or a slow dance, the synchronized slide that would only add to a growing feeling of connection that would only be the beginnings of what could be love. Whatever the music, or even none at all, or however many people if any would not matter, because that same connection creates a focus only for each other, sewn together by that simple motion of moving together which is representative of so much more... But that is a dream; a wisp of smoke fading in my mind. Whatever hopes and feelings for this that I may have are worthless, because I don’t know her more than a first name gained in the few sentences we shared. It’s doubtful I will ever see that particularly beautiful girl ever again, and therefore certain to me that we will never have the chance to share those moments of dancing. I suppose that will be for someone else, but for a moment I can have this daydream. I don’t know how to waltz. I’m actually a bit clumsy. Her name was Rosie; let her know that I wrote.

THE ALCHEMIST

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

13


The Alchemist

Weekly Horoscope by Coyote Kate

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Oh, Infamous Archer, aka Cupidon. Take your arrows of love and aim them at any adult who looks like they need it, as you will be the gatekeeper of love light for the next coming weeks. Your base sexuality accentuates your friendly demeanor and reminds the rest of us of our basic need for physical bonding. With everything that everyone must accomplish, wouldn’t it be great to just stay in bed with our loved one forever? Thanks for reminding everyone in your wily way.

Aries (March 21-April 19) Too many chickens in your soup? Or if vegan, how many slimy cucumber peelings have graced your fingers? Eat something different. Notice how it aligns in your body. Make your visceral experience a platform for the recognition that there’s something else you’ve been carrying that you could give up. It might feel like the ‘Great Denial’ at first, but it will be worth the effort, Ram. Your horns have been too curly for too long. Taurus (April 20-May 20) Bull, you could tout rose-colored glasses in all their sparkle and shine. But my advice is to change your focus overall. Your horns, too heavy for your head lately, have you doing a feat similar to Spain’s “Running of the Bulls” when you could perform RingAround-the-Rosie, a merry chant meant to euthanize black plague. Sing your song, toot a horn, don’t look where you are going, just go. Your natural inclinations, those path protectors, will guide you in a happy frenzy and keep you safe from indulgences apparent in this sacred season. Gemini (May 21-June 20) Turning over a new leaf won’t work. Become like the flocks of crows, who of late, turn over leaves individually to find whatever lurks underneath, worms, water, kismet. True scavengers of serendipity are those ancient crows. Even in the dark of winter, they survive and laugh doing so. As an astrological twin, the only human on the Zodiac, whose self do you serve, eternally thirsty? Be a Corvus connoisseur. Cancer ( June 21-July 22) Windows of chaos open quietly, but you’ve noticed the winds rushing through portals every day. They cruise past you and blow over your friends, family and colleagues. How come no one is noticing but you? Because, Cancer, that is your position on the Z-wheel. What is your role as the ob-

14

DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

server? This is your opportunity for a greater knowledge, but only if your thoughts are as quiet as the silent opening of the windows of chaos, and if your words are sylph-like. Leo ( July 23-August 22) For the Holy Days, find yourself a new talisman, cleanse it, decorate it, make it yours. Spend time with this talisman, away from the throngs of shoppers, away from the bell ringer who sings at the door, away from the shiny mirrors on the ceilings at the malls, away from anything that glitters ostentatiously. Reclaim the light or energy in your own way, Leo. Virgo (August 23-September 22) Voices of hundreds of geese echo across the valley now. What are they all saying? Turn off your television, Virgo. Forget about that kind of news for the rest of the Sacred Days. Listen only to music with no voices. Will you hear the voices of the geese in the music that you listen to and following that, what gift will you create? The greatest gift you have ever created? From this gaggle state of mind, will your gift contain the elements--fire, wind, water, and/or air? Libra (September 23-October 22) Cinderella equaled drudgery, as the fairy tale goes. But, she worked with ashes which are good for many things like accentuating garden soil, tanning hides, etc. What may feel like drudgery now for Libras fulfills basic needs, as overwhelming and monotonous as they may seem. In fact, you are so full, your home, friends, and family are more important than ever. You don’t necessarily need to be with them, ask their spirits to help you in the coming weeks as you work hard to fulfill your obligations. Cinderella did climb out, wash her clothes, and then she went shoe shopping. Scorpio (October 23-November 21) A big ball of fire is coming your way.

THE ALCHEMIST

Prepare yourself by collecting things like cinnamon, myrrh, and other spices or oils you find pleasing. Breathe. When you see it coming, stand in its way and let it energy encompass you, letting go of all of your fears. After you’ve burned, like the Phoenix, you will rise with a life force unbeknownst to you before. Capricorn (December 22-January 19) Ever seen an edgy goat? Constant flux may have your beard whipping up into your eyes, distracting you from driving and such. Pin it down, fashion it into dreads, pincurl it. Do whatever it takes to get the hair down. The rest of us don’t need or want a mad-scientist goat wandering in our midst. Especially one with horns. Look to Sag to help you deal with your beard. Your great, long beard isn’t hiding the ticks of knowledge for nothing, you know. Aquarius ( January 20-February 18) Your mind has been wandering surefooted through the energy build-up in your brain. I could use caps to say, “What Do You Want?” Too rude, here’s an elbow poke. Put it on the table, every bit of it. The question will then be, not what do you want. It will be how? It’s all right to have a crack in your pot with the fluid leaking here and there; just let your extra flotsam and jetsam soak up the excess.   Pisces (February 19-March 20) You know those funky Torx-styled screws or the six-pointed “star screws” that are trying to replace Phillips or slot screws? Does one screw better than the others? Can we humans want so much variety that we are willing to have several types of screws causing more production of different drivers and changes that aren’t necessary? Choose simplicity and stick with it. Yes, Torx were designed to prevent cam out, but Fishes, can we afford all those designs? Relieve yourself. Come unscrewed.

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM


Albany

Albany Civic Theater

111 First Ave. SW 541.928.4603

Corvallis

Aqua Seafood Restaurant & Bar

Alleyoop Lounge

151 NW Monroe Ave. 541.752.0262

Bogey’s Bar & Grill

The Beanery on 2nd

Calapooia Brewing

Big River Restaurant & Bar

901 Pacific Blvd 541.941.0977 129 W 1st Ave. 541.929.8900 140 Hill St. NE 541.928.1931

Cappie’s Brewhouse

211 1st Ave W 541.926.1710

Cascade Grill

110 Opal St. NW 541.926.3388

Chasers Bar & Grill

500 SW 2nd St 541.753.7442 101 NW Jackson Ave. 541.757.0694

Block 15

300 SW Jefferson Ave. 541.758.2077

Bombs Away Café

435 SE 2nd Ave 541928.9634

2527 NW Monroe Ave. 541.757.7221

Dixie Creek Saloon

China Delight Restaurant

32994 Hwy 99E, Tangent, OR 541.926.2767

Favorite Mistake Sports Bar

325 NW 2nd St. 541.753.3753

Clodfelter’s

1501 NW Monroe Ave. 541.758.4452

5420 Pacific Blvd. 541.903.0034

Cloud 9

Front Street Bar

Crowbar

126 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900

2300 Northeast Front Ave. 541.926.2739

GameTime Sports Bar & Grill

214 SW 2nd St. 541.753.7373

136 SW Washington Ave. 541.758.9095

JP’s Restaurant & Lounge

Fireworks Restaurant & Bar

220 2nd Ave. 541.926.5546

1115 SE 3rd 541.754.6958

Lariat Lounge

Flat Tail Pub

Linger Longer Tavern

Greenberry Store & Tavern

Lucky Larrys Lounge

Harrison Bar & Grill

202 SW 1st St. 541.758.2219

1296 S Commercial Way SE 541.928.3654

Riley’s Billiards Bar & Grill Wilhelm’s Spirits & Eatery 1520 Pacific Blvd SE 541.926.7001

A

125 SW 2nd St. 541.754.8522

Squirrel’s

100 SW 2nd St. 541.753.8057

Sunnyside Up Café

116 NW 3rd St 541.758.3353

Suds & Suds

1045 NW Kings Blvd. 541.758.5200

Troubadour

521 SW 2nd St. 541.752.7720

Tyee Wine Cellars 26335 Greenberry Rd. 541.753.8754

Wanted Saloon 140 NW 3rd St.

WineStyles

2333 N.W. Kings Blvd. 541.738.9463

Lebanon

2250 South Main Rd. 541.451.3900

180 S 5th St. 541.847.6262

Duffy’s Irish Pub 679 South Main St. 541.259.2906

Fire Pit Lounge

2230 South Santiam Hwy 541.451.2010

GameTime Sports Bar & Grill

3130 South Santiam Hwy 541.570.1537

Merlin’s Bar & Grill 541.258.6205

550 NW Harrison Blvd. 541.754.1017

Peacock Bar & Grill East

Impulse

Sports Shack & Deli

La Bamba Mix Night Club

126 SW 4th St. 541.207.3593

Loca Luna

136 SW Washington Ave, Ste. 102 - 541.753.2222 FREE WEEKLY

LC H E M I S T Luc OF THE WILLAMETTE VALLEY

albanylcorvallisllebanonlphilomath

THE

29974 HWY 99W 541.752.3796

1425 NW Monroe Ave. 541.230.1114

124 Broadalbin St SW 541.926.2838

Peacock Bar & Grill

Cornerstone Café & Pub

916 Old Salem Rd NE 541.926.3111

145 SW Main St. 541.926.2174

1030 S.W. Third St. 541.757.2727

Downward Dog

Enoteca Wine Bar

901 Pacific Blvd SE 541.928.2606

Papa’s Pizza

Artisian’s Well Lounge

130 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900

Humpty’s Dump Bar & Grill

2740 SW 3rd St. 541.738. 7600

Darrell’s Restaurant & Lounge

2200 NW 9th St. 541.752.6364

2211 Waverly Dr. SE 541.981.2376

Murphy’s Tavern

134 SW 4th St. 541.753.4171

76 E. Sherman St. 541.451.2027 1250 Grant St. 541.259.0800

Philomath

High 5 Sports Bar & Grill 1644 Main St.-541.929.7529

Meet’n Place Tavern

1150 Mian St. 541.929.3130

Wine Vault

1301 Main St. 541.929.8496

Wing Sing Restaurant & Lounge 658 Main St. 541.929.6255

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Rosemary Chicken with turneric potatoes Chicken: 1/2 cup vegetable oil 1 tablespoon of fresh chopped garlic 1 Bay leaf 3 - 4 sprigs of fresh rosemary 1 tablespoon capers 2 - 4 chicken breasts salt and pepper to taste Add all ingredients together in a large zip lock bag, making sure contents are well mixed first. Roll the bag up to remove all the air then zip shut and store in fridge over night (at least 12 hours) Potatoes : 6 - 8 red potatoes 1 tsp of fresh chopped garlic 2 tablespoons melted butter 3 tablespoons olive oil 1/2 tsp sea salt 1/4 tsp white pepper 1 tablespoon turmeric seasoning Mix the oil, melted butter and seasonings into a mixing bowl. Cut potatoes into

quarters and add to mixing bowl. Stir the potatoes until completely covered with seasoning mix. Place the potatoes into small baking dish and bake at 350 degrees until soft, then turn oven to broil on high for approx. 3 minutes to crisp the outside. Once the potatoes are in the oven heat a cast iron skillet on medium heat, once warm pour your chicken and mix into the pan removing the bay leaf. Let it cook on medium heat turning the chicken over every 2 minutes until chicken reaches 165 degrees. And, you are ready to serve. eats@thealchemistweekly.com

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DECEMBER 14-DECEMBER 20, 2010

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Epilogue: the Epic Blog of The Alchemist Weekly 2010 Alchemist Award Ballot Online Polls & More

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