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WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • VOLUME 4 NUMBER 170:39 • APRIL 5, 2011

I am gluten...free by RICKY ZIPP | p. 6

O'Pining Pints explores GLUTEN-FREE beer | p. 5 PLUS

Gluten-free rocks. So does Game Con.

ALCHY PICKS | p. 8

Game Con Cometh!

by JIMBO IVY | p. 12


SYMPOSIUM

VOICE

“Did Robert Johnson really sell his soul to the Devil at the Crossroads?” First, let us do some defining of terms.

Albany ● Corvallis ● Lebanon ● Philomath VOLUME 4 NUMBER 170:39 ● APRIL 5, 2011

VOICE Opinions and Editorials, be they ours or yours, this is where they be.

3 | Dirtstir 5 | O'pining Pints

VERDICT

We be the judge, you be the jury... you trust us right?

4 | Casey Hurt: Mended Souls

WORD Journalists call them features; we say it’s the word.

6 | I am gluten...free 12 | Game Con cometh

BUMP

It’s the calendar of all things Albany, Corvallis, Lebanon, and Philomath.

8 | Alchy Picks 11 | Crossword 14 | Weekly Horoscope

The Devil

Editorial

Editor Courtney Clenney Staff Writers Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor Noah Stroup Contributors Mischa Brittin, Robin Canfield, Dirtstir, Jimbo Ivy, Joel Rea, Ricky Zipp

Art

Art Directors Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup Layout Editor Andrea Fideler Cover Photo by Caleb Fennell

Advertising

Director of Marketing Stanley Tollett Account Executive Noah Stroup

Business

Publisher Noah Stroup The Alchemist Weekly is published by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339 Alchemist Mission

As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Albany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis-Albany. The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves. The Alchemist is available to you for free. Please limit yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are welcome to take enough copies for your family. Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339 and include a check or money order payable to The Alchemist.

CONTACT US: 541.224.6873

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Last week's puzzle solutions

The Alchemist Weekly welcomes freelance submissions. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. letters@thealchemistweekly.com, news@thealchemistweekly.com, submissions@thealchemistweekly.com, editor@thealchemistweekly.com calendar@thealchemistweekly.com, ads@thealchemistweekly.com

To most people growing up in a country inhabited by believers of monotheistic religion, the Devil is a supernatural being considered to be the reason for all Evil in the world. All that is unholy comes from The Devil, or is the result of work by The Devil. The Devil also represents a polar opposite of God, Allah, etc, who are good. Let us use the story of Lucifer, an angel who rebelled against God’s authority and claimed he hated all of humanity and God’s creations. (Oddly, if you put the name of your child in for Lucifer, and your own in for God, this conversation has or will take place at some point.) As any loving parent would, after having their authority questioned, God banished Lucifer from Heaven and he fell from grace into Hell, which he established next to the Lake of Fire. (The Devil was in a simple way, the first true Anarchist, or one who believes in and supports the absence or non-recognition of authority and order in any given sphere. He just didn’t see why God should be able to call all the shots.)

The Crossroads

You are at one right now. You can either decide to stop reading, or take the road less traveled, and read on. This can also be literally seen as an intersection of two roads, but as you will read, that wouldn’t make any sense. Now that we have that out of the way, what the Hell is the answer? Did Robert Johnson really sell his soul to the Devil at the Crossroads? Yes…….and no. What Robert Johnson did was make a decision to go against the grain. Standing there at the Crossroads, guitar in hand, Robert Johnson looked up at the stars and into his soul to find that all he wanted to do was play the blues. He knew that little money would be made and very unlike what most people would do to earn a wage. Despite these things, he did what his heart told him. It was there at the Crossroads that Robert Johnson decided to be different than everyone else and become so freakishly good at the guitar most people couldn’t believe it. To be a master at anything requires intense practice and is hardly ever the product of any innate ability. (If you can prove that wrong, send examples to us.) Here’s something I found without citation on a website that describes the idea of practice perfectly. “‘If you want to make a contract with the devil…Take a black cat bone and a guitar and go to a lonely fork in the roads at midnight. Sit down there and play your best piece, thinking of and wishing for the devil all the while. By and by you will hear music, dim at first but growing louder and louder as the music approaches nearer. .After a time you feel something

contributed photo | Daniel Terdiman/CNET News.com

tugging at your instrument…Let the devil take it and keep thumping along with your fingers as if you still had a guitar in your hands. Then the devil will hand you his instrument to play and will accompany you on yours. After doing this for a time he will seize your fingers and trim the nails until they bleed, finally taking his guitar back and returning your own. Keep on playing; do not look around. His music will become fainter and fainter as he moves away…You will be able to play any piece you desire on the guitar and you can do anything you want to in the world, but you have sold your eternal soul to the devil and are his in the world to come.’” With exception to that very last part, the passage is describing intense focus and dedication to practice. Nothing more. Your fingers will bleed and hurt if you play long and hard enough. The music will seem to get louder as your focus becomes your hearing. Nothing scary and nothing Evil. Only determination and a will to succeed. His decision on that fateful night is “The Devil.” It isn’t an anthropomorphic being that shows up when you call (I’ve tried). It isn’t an eternally damned fallen angel who once fought against authority only to become the main authority on Evil. That would be hypocritical. If there is a Devil, it’s possible that Hell is that coolest place anywhere. You can do whatever you want. That’s not eternal suffering. The Devil, in this case, is just a man deciding to do what he wants; to give up on following the norm and instead follow his heart. If this were easy to do, then the idea of The Devil would be the opposite. Selling your soul to The Devil would be to follow the status quo: Go to college with the intention of earning the big bucks once you get out. Get a job on the bottom rung and work your ass to the top. Retire early. Learn to play the guitar. (Note: This does not apply to someone whose heart is in following the above plan. In that case, they’ve done the right thing.) When you get to the Crossroads, follow your heart. Remember in most rural Midwest and Southern farming areas there is a crossroad every mile in case you change your mind. -Noah Stroup noah@thealchemistweekly.com


DIRTSTIR

Givitawaynow!

Oregon is closing on providing in-state tuition to undocumented (illegal resident) high school graduates who have attended at least three years of school in Oregon. I learned last Monday the G-T editorial staff hopes this will “pave the way for immigrants to become U.S. citizens”. On Tuesday an editorial in support of the legislation stated, “Having educated and productive citizens is a win-win situation.”. I agree that having educated citizens is a good thing. “Undocumented” persons aren’t, and have had plenty of time to start the naturalization process(like since day one of their arrival). Not only are “undocumented” persons being given tuition benefits not available to citizens, they will increase the burden on all loan, grant, and scholarship programs. Those  who may take  advantage of the benefits have already knowingly violated several important laws. So, even if the legislation mandates beginning the naturalization process within four years of starting the educational benefits, I’m looking at a population that will continue to reap benefits illegally unless coerced into compliance. Lax enforcement of previous legislation tells me this rule will be abused and manipulated until concessions, not coercion, will be made to transgressors as a means of lightening the load of rulings not being upheld. You, any of you, convince me that non citizens should have benefits not available to citizens.

Compassion

“A sympathetic  consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it,” says m-w.com. Notice it says desire, not mandate. You awake in the dark hours of the morning to yowling, an animal mortally wounded flailing weakly, piteously, on the street in front of your house. Do you ignore it’s suffering until it expires? Call someone else to deal with it? Try to give comfort in its final moments, or hasten it’s demise? Any answer you give will fit in one of those responses. In practicing compassion, I consider the level of distress, the strength of my desire, and resources I have available to alleviate the stress. I eat a lot of stress. I don’t have a lot of resources. I unrealistically wish everybody on the planet had everything they would ever need. Realistically, if I had more resources, I would reduce my own distress, then my family’s, my friend’s, etc. When desire overwhelms resources, one realizes a distress seldom alleviated by the recipient of resources. I don’t have the luxury of stress-free compassion;  promising to  reduce distress without having to account for the source of the resources, or to do so by promising, accessing and overwhelming others’ resources. That don’t fit my or Merriam-Webster’s definition of “fair” (marked by impartiality and honesty : free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism). Those practicing stress-free compassion do so under the guise of “fair”(conforming with the established rules), and “fair” (consonant with merit or importance). I’ve fought it long, but I’m really becoming convinced that my so-called representatives from the local to global level don’t find me deserving of merit or importance, and continue to distribute “compassion” to persons who  cause me distress.

VOICE

CORVALLIS VANITIES

No Confidence

I wouldn’t mind the sense of powerlessness so much if I felt the people with influence on my life made well-thought-out decisions using logic I could understand. How would you feel, being in a City Council meeting and hearing councilors say they had not read the entire reading packet for that night’s meeting? What do you do when State representatives and senators are influenced by out of state interests, as international corporations and interests manipulate our Federal politicos? The text to the Patriot Act was available for only a couple hours before our Federal lawmakers, without reading it, passed the legislation. Our nation is providing the lion’s share of work in a U.N.-directed conflict in Libya, even though Europe receives over 85% of Libya’s oil (the U.S. nabs <1%), and our government is spending over $100 million a day on munitions. The President tells us we have a moral obligation in Libya, but allows client states in the region to commit the same moral violations against their own populations in upheaval. Mayors Against Illegal Guns lobby state to state for more stringent gun laws when they  should be minding their cities, noting one way to take the heat off of one’s failures is to wag a dog. Stopping illegal guns is done through stringent enforcement of existing laws, not by creating more laws without providing funding. Cripes. Eight years ago (1/21/’03), our City Council passed a “resolution opposing unilateral preemptive military action against Iraq.”  I’m sympathetic, but Council has things to work on in Corvallis. I have no faith that the politicians operate in my best interests. At all levels, mandates are passed down without  funding like so many laws created that hinge on the public to enforce, yet not of our design. At all levels, enforcement is lax, punishments  rarely match the offense, and rehabilitation is nonexistent.

WTF?

Last week, some 20 year old was behind Linus Pauling Middle School having consentual sex with a 13 year old, her 14 year old friend reported it, and he was arrested for rape 2 (intercourse with a person under 14 years of age) and public indecency (his junk was visible). We're looking at a Class B felony, a Measure 11 crime (no judge needed for sentencing matrix), and many years in prison(75 months,and/or $250,000). The guy is listed as being from Kings Valley, is 6'5" and 280 pounds. The police report the two in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship kindled at the skate park. Did anyone's radar go BEEEEEEEP!? No reflection on Kings Valley, but anyone in their right mind knows it ain't OK to diddle a minor. The guy is either kooked, or mentally deficient. I'm betting, in the end, lots of money will be spent on a trial occuring too long after the crime to be seen as a repercussion, and more money will be wasted if the guy ends up in prison. That, or he'll get a $quarter-million fine that will never be paid off, providing more reasons and opportunities for law enforcement to scrutinize him. As for little miss scratchmyitch, I'm guessing it's not her first ride. Some local craftsman (woman?), maybe from the Society for Creative Anachronism, needs to fit her for a chastity belt. -CtJ dirtstirreply@gmail.com

The thoughts, views, and opinions expressed in Voice are of their authors and do not necessarily represent the thoughts, views, or opinions of CorvAlcheMedia, LLC. WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • APRIL 5, 2011 • 3


LETTERS

TO THE EDITOR CORVALLIS-OSU PIANO INTERNATIONAL PRESENTS

RE: Math Blues Dear Mr. Tollett Your rant against math may be fine for someone who writes articles in a weekly paper that is geared towards the local music scene...but I'm guessing far more people have more important jobs that do require exactly the math you are speaking of. Mine for one. Not a day goes by when I don't have to find a missing angle. I learned such math from my dad who also used it every day. He was a glazier. Yes...he put windows in for a living. I design acoustical treatments. Knowing how to do these things when there is no computer handy is very important. Understanding it, even for people who don't use it is even more important. As a journalist you should understand that when people lack a simple understanding of math it opens them up to being duped very easily. Take for instance the tea party's lack of understanding how cutting all of nondiscrecionary spending won't make a dent until you cut defense and social security. So please stop making it harder on parents like myself who are trying to get my kids to understand the importance of things they may not like. -Chris Klein

Steinway Piano Series

Ryo Yanagitani SUNDAY

APRIL 10, 2011

4:00 PM

LaSells Stewart Center 875 SW 26th St, Corvallis

$20 in Advance $25 at the Door Students (8-18 yrs old) Free OSU Students Free with ID

Purchase Tickets: Online at www.ticketsoregon.com At a ticket outlet: Beard’s Framing Gracewinds Music Grass Roots Books & Music Rice’s Pharmacy

Missing Photo Credit Last week we failed to mention that some of the photos accompanying our story "Dance, Dance, Dance" were taken at the kick ass 4th Annual Mustache Bash featuring another local electro DJ crew: Team Banzai.

LETTERS from our Readers are always welcome and we will print as many as we can fit. Please send your letters to editor@thealchemistweekly. com. It is helpful for you to include your name and contact information as well. Letters may be edited for grammar, clarity, or space restrictions.

oregonstate.edu/cla/music/steinway-piano-series Accommodations for disabilities may be made by calling 541-737-5592

VERDICT casey hurt mended souls released April 3, 2011 Alchy rating 3.5/5

Hurt returns with Mended Souls by ROBIN CANFIELD

A

n interesting life – that is certainly what musician Casey Hurt has had. Blessed, he would probably tell you. Back around the time he won the 2008 Alchy Award for Best Acoustic Performer, he was also a pastor and a bartender in Corvallis. He has since moved on to other pastures – Portland for a bit, then on to Los Angeles where he is based now. “Mended Souls” is his second album from LA and is certainly his most clean and polished work to date. It's a natural progression as his musical career continues, and puts Hurt at a level where his music still has what

is very much his own feel to it, but also some of his individual songs take on tones of other successful performers. This puts “Mended Souls” in that odd period of time in a musicians career when they are transitioning from small-time smash to commercial success. The album is a blend of soft pleasantness, flush with optimism and reassurances, crossed with a variety of beats. It is all held together by Hurt's strong vocals, a steady strength on every track, and yet much variety in the songs comes from Hurt taking on different attitudes in his singing, almost invoking other musicians. The guitar opens on the song “Higher”

4 • APRIL 5, 2011 • WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

and the lyrics follow in a manner very reminiscent of John Mayer. The lyrics and allure follow in the same vein as Evan Roman compliments on back-up vocals. “Doing Nothing” comes next, with a slow, acoustic driven tone in the realm of Jack Johnson, without the near-crooning sustains at the end of each line. Hurt's voice is also a bit more pleasantly gruff, too. This comes across even better on the following song, “When We Touch,” that sounds almost like a slightly pared down Lynyrd Skynyrd song, and as Hurt's vocals meander and wallow, it certainly sounds like he's invoking Ronnie Van Zandt. What could follow that? A very Bradley Nowell-like song called “Babylon,” complete with guest hip hop vocals by 6brooks. After that comes “These Days,” a song that plays out with the feeling of soft, slow build-up that crescendoes toward explosion, only to taper off just before peaking – a method well-honed by Cinjun Tate. The feeling of different performers is so thick that when “Sunday Mornings” starts off it hints at taking on the feel of a relaxed Travie McCoy, but Hurt quickly pulls away from that line with his own unique vocal tone, carried away by a lone, muted trumpet.

“Sunday Mornings” isn't the only time Hurt's vocal uniqueness shines though – it stands out on the body-swaying, rhythmic song “Sing to You,” and on the slow, sentimental title track that rounds out the album perfectly with soft-sung, conversational lyrics and a lilting guitars. Really, Hurt gives a strong performance in a voice all his own for the full album. His variety of tone and soul, however, give “Mended Souls” the feeling of a guest album – you know, one of those “Best Of ” type albums where a different musician guests on each track. Each song is good, complete with it's own individual feel. In this case it's a mix of female vocals here, hip-hop vocals there and the occasional keyboard or trumpet, muted or un-muted, and of course the different tones of Hurt's voice. This could be the unavoidable consequence of moving towards widespread success, but could also be the natural progression of becoming a better musician – a combination of natural ability and soaking up good vibes. For any musician to invoke any of these artists is not a bad thing, and whether Hurt did or didn't, he makes it sound good and he makes the style his own. “Mended Souls” officially came out on April 3rd. The local release party is at Cloud 9 on Saturday, April 9, and it is probably your only chance to catch Casey Hurt live in Corvallis for a while – he's back off to Los Angeles soon after for another release party the following weekend. Find out more and hear a sample from the album at caseyhurtmusic.com, where you can check out his new video as well.


O'PINING PINTS If I’m ever declared to have celiac disease, please, take a CELIAC DISEASE railroad spike, pin it through my head, and into an old tree. SUCKS FOR Leave me there and never BEER LOVERS come back! That is my expe-

is the closest to actually tasting like “beer”! While it is an ale, it does have a Bohemian Pils profile with dry hop finish and hay-like qualities. Tripel Blonde, Dark and Brown, Green’s Brewery, Belgium - These three beers are the most expensive of gluten- free beers but worth their weight in gold! They are fermented with millet, buckwheat, rice and sorghum for a fuller bodied beer with greater complexity. The Dark and Brown versions are the darkest gluten-free beers currently out there, they still lack the roasted and toasted qualities found in English-style dark beers. Redbridge, Anheiser-Busch, USA - The only A-B product, in my mind, that is worth consuming! Clean, crisp yet pretty tame. Keep in mind that A-B is targeting drinkers who can no longer drink their other swill and swill-ice and lite-swill. There are no local brew pubs currently brewing gluten-free beers because it takes a different brewing system, since one iota of gluten that contaminated equipment can literally wreck the day of a patron who believes their frosty pint of gluten-free beer is 100%-absolutely-void-and-un-mistakablywithout-a-single-squiggly-wiggly-bit of gluten. Deschutes Brewery, in their Bend brewery, produces a gluten-free beer and there is a brewery in Portland called Harvester Brewing that has a full-lineup of gluten-free beers. I have yet to partake of the beers in question so I cannot comment on their particulars. If you are looking to homebrew glutenfree beers you have the ability to control color, % ABV, and hop levels, but not so much malt profile. Hops, the important bittering agent used in beer, are gluten-free, and there are some pretty good yeasts that are gluten-free as well. The trick is finding the right combination of fermentable sugars that will give you a satisfying product. Sorghum and rice syrups are readily available in better homebrewing supply shops. Experimenting homebrewers may also find that honey, brown sugar, molasses, beet sugars and a host of other exotic sugars will give your final brew complexity. You could also try toasting and roasting gluten-free grains such as millet or quinoa to afford the final beer a suitable toasted malt quality. If you do make a phenomenal glutenfree beer, please utilize your legal rights to bring in a sample for us to try. Yes, last week our dear Governor signed SB444 legalizing home fermentation enthusiasts the right to legally transport home made beer and wine!! Cheers! -Joel Rea (Corvallis Brewing Supply owner) joel@lickspigot.com

Thursday, April 7th

Rusty Hinges Saturday, April 9th

Johnny Now and Marquee

Sunday, April 10th

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rience with most people who have declared themselves beer-free after learning that they have celiac disease. Does this sound like fun? Drink a beer and get the following symptoms: abdominal cramps, constipation or diarrhea, nausea, weight loss, easy bruising, hair loss, nose bleeds, ulcers, itchy skin, fatigue, depression, etc.! Yep, just leave me there, pinned to my tree, along with all the other soul-less folks that can no longer enjoy a hoppy India Pale Ale or a black-and-nasty-dark-as-night stout. My mother is the sole member of my family that cannot consume gluten, so my clan has it pretty easy when we all get together. Along with her diet restrictions on salt, sugar, milk products, corn, and soy there just isn’t much on her “dinner plate of enlightenment.” Her restrictions have given me a literal taste of what it is like to have foods that we have always enjoyed taken away. From my limited experience to gluten-free foods I would say that compared to gluten-free beers life is much better on the food-side of the table!! Gluten-free beers are a bit like believing carob is chocolate, wine coolers are wine, or imitation crab is crab. Gluten-free beer really is not beer! One of the reasons for that is there just isn’t the range of ingredients, compared to modern-day beers, to replicate a full-range of malt characters that are derived from barley, wheat, and rye malts. The following list is not found in sorghum, rice or tapioca, which is typically used as a source of fermentable sugars for alcohol production in gluten-free beer: coffee, toast, maltiness, caramel, toffee, biscuit, breadiness, freshly-cut hay, hazelnut, raisin, roasty, and the list can extend forever. Currently, there just is not a great list of ingredients for making a full-range of gluten-free beers and for celiac disease beer enthusiasts it’s painful, like a spike pinned through your head into an old tree! Liz tells me this morning, “well, if only Squirrel’s would serve sake!” Oh-yeah! That is why I love her so, as she is so damn smart! Yes, if only social scenes had more to offer, because as you may already know, hard cider, wine and sake are all gluten-free! Well, as smart as Liz is, even if there were a bazillion sake to choose from down at your local watering hole, sometimes a beer is a beer and there is nothing finer or more soul-satisfying than a perfectly balanced, malt-rich beer chock full of gluten! There is a small, but growing list of commercial beers deemed tasteful and gluten-free. New Grist, Session-style, Lakefront Brewery, Wisconsin, 5.7% ABV - Fermented with sorghum and rice extract, it is light in color and body, crisp and clean with a fairly humble profile, slight hop profile reminds me of an American Premium Pils. Sorgham Beer, Pale Ale, St. Peter’s Brewery, Suffolk, England - 100% sorgham. This is a shop favorite for gluten-free beers as it

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WORD

I am gluten...free

Zipp explores getting the gluten monkey off your back by RICKY ZIPP

“I

was born a poor black child.” Actually not, but it is a great opener. Plus with a readers comment about the lack of talent amongst the writers, I figured at least one line in the story would be good, even if it were not mine. So…I was not born a poor black child. I was born with celiac disease, but my story of navigating alternate food options, and magnificentlyrocked-out-bread, doesn’t really begin until my diagnosis at the age of 18. The overall experiences I have had with this change were defined in hour one of my diagnosis, right before I left the hospital. I was sitting with my dietician going over my new life of food, and the entire do’s and don’ts of the gluten-free diet. For my first meal down this path she would order my food " for me. Rice Krispies. Readers beware: just because it has rice in the name, it doesn’t mean gluten free. Thus, this is the case with Rice Krispies—they are not safe. Freshly diagnosed, and now with, ‘you are going to be taken care of!’ ringing through my head, after years of stomach aches, and a month in the hospital, I am fed the exact thing that I am supposed to be avoiding by the exact people that were supposed to be helping me. In Corvallis, the level of gluten-free awareness is continuing to grow. We have glutenfree bakeries, gluten-free pizza at various pizza joints, gluten-free beer at Bombs Away Cafe and the First Alternative Co-op, and our very own gluten-free RN downtown. She’s just past the BookBin on Fourth St. Her name is Nadine Grzeskowiak, and she has a little gluten power fighting center dedicated to help educate about, and have others pay more attention to, a usually ignored, medical condition. Doctors are extremely uneducated about celiac disease. According to Grzeskowiak, textbooks with emphasis on celiac disease do not exist. The textbooks that do exist with information about celiac disease, even our most highly effective and up-to-date medical system, holds information from the 1950s. Mostly all the literature is found in medical journals “which I don’t think the doctors are reading,” Grzeskowiak half laughs before she unloads examples of people being released from the hospital with little help after being diagnosed, or people remaining sick from misdiagnosis, “they just kind of give you literature and boot you out, I have had people discharged from the hospitals still critically ill and given no resources.”

Cel i a c disease is looked at as an illness that is strictly dietary (meaning there is no pill for the cure). However, there is a push for gluten-free as a product commodity, thus there is now funding for research about celiac disease being a non-dietary illness (meaning they want to develop a pill). According to Grzeskowiak, you do not need any medication to solve your health issues around celiac disease (and actually any pill that has been developed doesn’t work unless you are already on a 100% gluten-free diet). Being 100% gluten free can be a daunting task and a bit mind-blowing. Wheat is in everything. It is used as a main ingredient, as a filler, as a preservative—it comes in all shapes and sizes—many that you wouldn’t consider. I began to address it as what I couldn’t eat: no bread, no ice cream, no pizza, no cake/ brownies/pie, or anything great with sugar, no beer—Mexican food usually works but no tortillas, Thai food is a yes, but only rice noodles. You can have all these things once gluten is removed which sometimes means removing the flavor, texture, sweet smell, and nutritional value as well. However, it is not just what it is in the food, but also what is around the food. If you are extremely sensitive, gluten-free crust does you no good if it was cooked in a gluten-laced oven. Pristine packages of gluten-free products are void if cooked and manufactured on equipment that also manufactures wheat products. You can begin to see the gluten-free revolution take over amongst food providers. Give it a little time and there will be the McGlutenless and the new diet idea will hit along the lines of Sir Atkins. Soon commercials will scream, ‘go gluten-free to slip into those sum-

6 • APRIL 5, 2011 • WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

mer clothes!!!’ And, this isn’t just amongst the glutenfree. The race to the top spot amongst eating healthy is still up in the air, and a market that has become freshly tapped by pop culture food products. Now, instead of being concreted into the shelves of health food stores the “big boys” have stepped into the game, as have the big boys of pharmaceutical companies. With no pill that means there is no cure, and no need to buy the cure because glutenfree is able to be solved strictly on diet, and there won’t be any need to return to any type of medical environment for help. “Doctors were begging the pharmaceuticals for funding for research so that they could come up with this pill, and even if they come up with a pill, you still have to be on the gluten-free diet 100% of the time,” Grzeskowiak says. “Initially I was doing a lot of research and following the groups around and going to the conferences I was really interested in what the doctors had to say, I thought that they were cutting edge and they had the answers, but what I have come to realize is that they are not. I look at everything very critically and all their studies and everything that they come out with because it is all tainted at this point, sorry but that is just the way it is.“ So where do you go from here? This little step towards health throws you into a mess and scramble that begins with even trying to get diagnosed. The box to fit into celiac disease is extremely small, and is currently being re-

defined, b u t years can go by without anything getting done. Grzeskowiak failed the test for Celiac Disease, and then self diagnosed, and her massive health problems disappeared in a matter of weeks. The same thing happened with my older sister. Alternate health issues can be stumbled upon by lack of knowledge, or you can fail the test because you don’t have celiac disease, but still may have a high level of gluten intolerance, which there is no test for, but it can still hold the same negative health effects. This can stem back to a misstep in the education. If you aren’t properly diagnosed you can be subject to numerous tests and consequent cures. The extremes that people can go to fix others can be huge when really it is a small shift in lifestyle. Now the next question, is this the same internationally? No, while doctors here may not have a handle on how to deal with celiac disease, according to Grzeskowiak, in Finland they have a massive success rate at diagnosis, reaching up to 70% of the people who have it. So, where does this seemingly lack of care and knowledge stem from? We have known about celiac disease since the 1880s, and are just now delving into what this condition really means. In Italy, the land of pastas and bread, you are tested as a child before released from the hospital, and then gluten-free food is sent to you every month—here they push you out with a print out from the Internet. “In the U.K. you get a prescription for free food and you take it to the pharmacist, and they will help you pick out your food,” Grzeskowiak says. In Italy,”there are so many


WORD

people with celiac disease that it is breaking the system.” The power of experience is key, and while this may be sounding bad, the future is becoming a little clearer. Corvallis is moving in a direction that is extremely positive for those with celiac disease, and it starts with those who truly care and wish to give out love to the people. And, this is something that can’t be broken by the system, and something that will not disappear no matter where the dollars of funding are being sent. A half a block down from Grzeskowiak’s office is the old Living Earth, now Blue Monkey, gluten-free bakery that allows taste to be added to the option of healthy. Eric Miller, creator of Living Earth, along with his wife

Jenney, started by baking for friends and family after being diagnosed, and then decided to move forward with the idea of a bakery. “Gluten-free customers really love to tell their stories. I think the biggest thing is how long it takes for people to figure out they are celiac or need to be gluten-free—in some cases years or decades of doctors visits and misdiagnosis,” Miller says. “It’s so great to see people get healthier every time you see them. Both Jenney and I had gone through the same thing, so we really had empathy for everyone.” And that is where the help will come from, the corner of Jefferson and Fourth St, at a local upstart bakery, and then a few steps down at the RN. It comes from the streets and the help of the random people that fill them.

MERLIN’S MERLIN’S BAR BAR AND AND GRILL GRILL 25 W Sherman St • Lebanon, OR

Karaoke

Weeknights

Steak Night Thursday

5:00 5:00 -- 9:00 9:00 pm pm

Blues Jam Sunday

6:00 6:00 pm pm -- 10:00 10:00 pm pm

Celebrating 9 years! www.merlinsbarandgrill.com

3 Degrees Astray April 8th & 9th 9:00 9:00 pm pm

30% off Slenderizing Mineral Wraps Free detox foot bath with any service! 308 SW Monroe Ave • Corvallis • imagemakers2.com • 541.754.0355 WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • APRIL 5, 2011 • 7


ALCHY PICKS

[week of April 5th]

Tuesday | APRIL 5th | 6 pm OSU Kellly Engineering Rm 1001 KILLER BUSINESS PLAN AT LARGE

The culture is ripe for those of us without job prospects to put our fate in our own hands. An entire generation is searching for meaning in their work and no longer sees a separation between what they do with their lives and what they do for work. Are we not satisfied doing a job for the sake of doing what we love later? With the numerous start-up conferences and Business Plan competitions, it seems that starting a business is almost a trendy thing to do. If you’ve got a good idea or think you can do an old idea better, the first thing you’ll want to do is get your business plan together. This is the crucial element that will tell you whether or not you have a viable business before you even spend a dime. It’ll also tell you how motivated you are about the project if you decide you aren’t interested in taking the time to do the business plan. Banks and investors will see your plan as the reason they will invest or take a risk on you. Help yourself get the ball rolling and start learning how to do it right with the help of Jeanne Smith, this Tuesday at OSU’s Kelly Engineering Building.

FRIDAY | APRIL 8th | 9 pm The Majestic Theatre Everybody Must Get Stones

Any music writer worth his salt would be able to flood this little write up with plenty of appropriate puns and play on words tributing the Rolling Stones. I have a secret. I’m not a huge fan of the Rolling Stones, nor am I a music listener that memorizes lyrics easily. It may even be debatable as to whether or not I’m even a music listener. As Wesley Snipes stated in ‘White Men Can’t Jump,’ “Look man, you can listen to Jimi, but you can't hear him. There's a difference man. Just because you're listening to him doesn't mean you're hearing him.” I’ve listened to the Rolling Stones, but I haven’t heard them. This Friday may change all that. It’s a night dedicated to the appreciators of the Stones, of local musicians, and of The Ma-

jestic Theatre. All these forces come together in what could be the reinvigoration of a formally time honored tradition in Corvallis, The Hoot Night. When local musicians assembled to play rearranged versions of The Cars and Devo. Friday is not a hoot night by definition. Each band will play 30 minutes of the Stones of their choosing and in the same breath give you a taste of what local music looks like. Few if any of these musicians have played on the Majestic Theatre stage before and we hope it won’t be their last performance. Come check out The Rolling Stones as played by Xenat-Ra, audiophilia, The Flailing Inhalers, and The Taste in the name of the Majestic Theater!

– LIVE MUSIC THIS WEEK – WEDNESDAY

APRIL 6

7:30p | FREE THE KINDREDS

Thursday| APRIL 7th | 9 pm Squirrel's Tavern SWEET SOUNDS

APRIL 7

8:30p | FREE COLIN’S MUSICAL SHOWCASE

FRIDAY

APRIL 8 10p | $5 BARRY WALKER & THE TANKS

SATURDAY

APRIL 9

The California Honeydrops drip into Squirrel's this Thursday

Paulann Petersen is the official poet of Oregon. She is the bee’s knees of flowery language. What an honour! To represent your state Like Miss Oregon, but judged by the content of your content. To content others with words worthy of exaltation over a fraction of a continent It is something quite laudable to be a Laureate. Certainly most applaudable to build a literary minaret Welcome to Corvallis, Paulann. May ours be a town you don’t forget.

8 • APRIL 5, 2011 • WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

This is what a poet looks like

Contributed Photo

Wednesday | APRIL 6th | 12 pm LBCC LIBRARY: Poetry Reading POETRY TO THINE EYES AND EARS

Contributed Photo

The California Honeydrops, based in Oakland, are children of the Motown generation. Actually, I don’t know if that’s true. I haven’t seen them, but I am currently listening to them. It feels rhythm and bluesy with a homespun sound and live recording feel that defined the Funk Brothers on all those hits. Are The California Honeydrops writing hits? Maybe not for the culture that exists today, but they’re certainly having a great time playing the music that they love (and I love). If there is one thing you can’t fake, it’s sincerity. They wouldn’t drive all the way up here and play the hallowed Squirrel Cage Stage if it wasn’t worth your time. I don't think.

THURSDAY

10p | FREE STRIKING MATCHES + FJORDS

2527 NW Monroe

Corvallis, OR 541.757.7221 bombsawaycafe.com


tuesday05 Corvallis

livemusic

SUNNYSIDE UP CAFÉ Celtic Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [LISTEN/PLAY]

Albany

sing&dance

RILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Productions presents Throwback Thursday with DJ Tray, FREE [DANCE]

Corvallis

ELKS LODGE Beginner Line Dance 7:00 pm, $3 [DANCE] IMPULSE BAR Cuban Salsa 7:30 pm FREE [DANCE] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING] UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP Fellowship Community Choir rehearsals, 7:00 pm, $50 for 12 week term [SING]

Lebanon

BOMBS AWAY CAFÉ The Kindreds, 7:30 pm, FREE [AMERICANA] OSU LASELLS STEWART The Enso String Quartet, 7:30 pm, $25 [CHAMBER MUSIC]

Tangent

DIXIE CREEK SALOON Blues Jam with Wild Bill, 7:00 pm [BLUES]

Albany

sing&dance

Eagles Lodge Albany Senior Dance, 1:30 - 3:30 pm, $3 [DANCE]

Corvallis

APPLEBEE’S Karaoke/Guitar Hero, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING] PETER GYSEGEM’S STUDIO Argentine tango classes, 7:15 pm, $5 [DANCE] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]; On the Top: Western Wed 9:00 pm, [DANCE] MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

Halsey

WOODY'S BAR & GRILL “Terry-oke” Karaoke with Terry Geil, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

stuff

ALBANY PUBLIC LIBRARY “Healing 101,” with Denise Bruchman, 6:30 pm [HEALTH] SOUTH ALBANY HS Sawmill Demonstration, 8:00 am – 3:30 pm, FREE [SAW]

Corvallis

livemusic

Corvallis

Lebanon

MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

Albany

wednesday06

APPLEBEE'S National Trivia Association Night, 9:00 pm, FREE ENOTECA WINE BAR Girls night out! Knit night, 7:00 pm [SHE'S CRAFTY] GRASS ROOTS BOOKS Reading Group: “Half of a Yellow Sun,” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichi, 6:30 pm [BOOKS] OSU KELLY ENGINEERING 1001 “Building Your Killer Business Plan: Company Structure and Management Team,” with Jeanne Smith, 6:00 pm [LECTURE] OSU MU ROOM 213 BioForum 2011: Creative Financing for Early Stage Life, 4:00 pm [LECTURE] WINESTYLES Tuesday Night Trivia, 6:00 pm, $10 per team for winter league [SMARTY PANTS]

Albany

stuff

LBCC LIBRARY Reading by Oregon Poet Laureate Paulann Petersen, 12:00 pm, FREE, Workshop, 1:00 pm [POET]

Corvallis

CLOUD 9 Beer and Blog, 5:00 pm, FREE [LAGER BLOGGER] Improv Comedy Theater, 9:00 pm [COMEDY] ENOTECA WINE BAR Remy Wine Tasting, 7:00 pm, $10 [WINE] OSU FAIRBANKS GALLERY Artist Reception with Linda Hutchins, “Through Line: Type, Ink, Thread,” 4:30 pm, FREE [ART] OSU LASELLS STEWART Rm 100 Global Poverty Project “1.4 Billion Reasons,” 7:00 pm, FREE [CAUSE]

Contributed Photo

[STRINGS]

Wednesday | APRIL 6th | 7:30 pm | $25

The Enso String Quartet OSU LaSells Stewart Center

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • APRIL 5, 2011 • 9


Pegasus Gallery & Frame Studio www.pegasusartgallery.com 341 SW 2nd Street Corvallis, Oregon 97333 5:00 pm - 8:00pm "Art & Poetry Exhibit 2011" Celebrating National Poetry Month, Pegasus is hosting a collection of poetry, poetically-inspired art and art-inspired poetry throughout April 2011.

Thursday | APRIL 7 |

First Thursday Downtown Corvallis

The Arts Center www.theartscenter.net 700 SW Madison Ave (at Central Park) 5:00 – 7:00 PM "Time" an exhibit of work by inmates of the Oregon Correctional System The work is very varied: from raw to skillfully rendered. Victoria Tierney, curator.

Art in the Valley artinthevalley.net 209 SW 2nd St. 5:30 to 7:30 Cherrill Boissonou and guest artists-Phyllis Johnson present "aneclectic show of recent works"

Corvallis Brewing Supply www.lickspigot.com 119 SW 4th St 5:00 pm - 8:00 pm Aaron Jensen with D'Vine Wines www.bodegagouguenheim.com.ar/ The Gouguenheim winery is located on the east-side of the Andes where the dry, desert climate allows for complex and full wines. Please join us for a free tasting tonight! Footwise www.footwise.com 301 SW Madison 5:00 -8:00 pm Jan Weir janweir.net "Whimsey , Dogs and Shards...Oh My!" Corvallis artist, Jan Weir , presents an eclectic collection of playful art for this months event. From papier mache sculptures , to colored pencil drawings to mosaic creations and yard art , Jans creations have the propensity to make people laugh out loud.

thursday07 Albany

livemusic

CALAPOOIA BREWING Rusty Hinges, 7:30 pm, FREE [STRINGBAND]

DOWNTOWN DOG Chris & Friends, 6:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL EAST Blues Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [BLUES]

Lebanon

Tangent

sing&dance

EAGLES LODGE Line dance, 7:00 pm, $4 [DANCE] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]; On the Top: DJ Mike, 9:00 pm, FREE [DANCE]

Tangent Albany

Lebanon

sing&dance

RILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Production presents Ladies Night with Dj Tray, FREE [DANCE]

MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

stuff

ALBANY CIVIC THEATRE “Excalibur! The Story of Young King Arthur,” 8:00 pm, $11 [STAGE] ALBANY PUBLIC LIBRARY LWV and AAUW Panel: Redistricting in Oregon, 7:00 pm, FREE [LECTURE] ARTS CENTER Brown Bag Art Talk “Curators’ Holiday,” work of Hester Couke, Shelley Curtis, Tina Green-Price and Douglas Russell, 2:00 pm, FREE [ART] CLOUD 9 Poetics, 8:00 pm, FREE [POETRY OPEN MIC] DOWNTOWN CORVALLIS First Thursday Art Walk: See Sidebar Listing, 4:00 pm, FREE [ART WALK] ENOTECA WINE BAR Chocolate Truffle Thursdays, 6:00 pm, FREE [YUMMERS] FIRST ALT COOP NORTH Beer Tasting, 5:00 pm [BEER ME] NEARLY NORMAL’S Dine of the Arts, all day [CAUSE] OSU LASELLS STEWART “The Chinese Century? Business and Education in the 21st Century,” with William Kirby, 4:00 pm, FREE [LECTURE] “The Pain Chronicles: Narrative, Culture and the Science of Suffering,” by Melanie Thernstrom, 7:00 pm, FREE [LECTURE] WINESTYLES Wine Tasting: Australian Wines, 5:30 pm, $5 [WINE ME]

10 • APRIL 5, 2011 • WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

DOWNTOWN DOG Derek the Red, 6:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC] MERLIN’S BAR AND GRILL 3 Degrees Astray, 9:00 pm, FREE [ROCK] DIXIE CREEK SALOON Hollow Intent, 9:00 pm [METAL]

Corvallis

Corvallis

livemusic

Albany

BEANERY ON 2ND Joe Martines, 8:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC] BOMBS AWAY CAFÉ The Tanks CD Release Party, 10:00 pm, $5 [ROCK] FIREWORKS Tom and Ellen Demarest, 8:00 pm, FREE [AMERICANA] MAJESTIC THEATER Benefit for the Majestic Theater featuring the music of The Rolling Stones, 9:00 pm [CAUSE] OLD WORLD DELI Accordioso, 7:00 pm, FREE [ACCORDIAN] OSU LASELLS STEWART Emerald City Jazz Kings, 7:30 pm [JAZZ] OSU MU LOUNGE David Rogers, 12:00 pm, FREE [GUITAR]

Lebanon

Albany

friday08 Corvallis

BOMBS AWAY CAFÉ Colin Woekel’s Musical Showcase, 7:30 pm, FREE [SHOWCASE] OLD WORLD DELI Old-Time Music Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [OLD-TIME] PAPA’S PIZZA Webster Chicago, 6:00 pm, FREE [BLUES] SQUIRREL’S TAVERN California Honeydrops, 9:00 pm [BLUES]

Albany

Cloud9 dinecloud9.com 126 sw first 5:00 -11:00 Hairy McSpecies mixedspecies.com Mixed Species is a design collective who came together from rural parts of the Northwest and congealed like the skin on top of gravy. 9:00 – 11:00 "Poetics" Poetry Night Poetics is an open mic poetry and spoken word event, showcasing local wordsmiths every First Thursday @ Cloud9 from 9-11pm.

ROSIE’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT Parish Gap, 9:00 pm, FREE [ROCK]

Corvallis

DIXIE CREEK SALOON Oregon Valley Boys, 7:00 pm [COUNTRY]

Fireworks fireworksvenue.com 1115 SE Third Street 7:30 PM to 9:30 P.M Performers Showcase, with three featured artists from our wildly popular Southtown Open Mic Talent Search

Corvallis

CLOUD 9 Riot in the Clouds, 10:00 pm, FREE [DJ CHI DULY] CORVALLIS SENIOR CENTER Friday Night Dance by The Syncopators, 7:00 pm, $4 [DANCE] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]; On the Top: DJ Heartburn, 9:00 pm, FREE [DANCE]

Halsey

WOODY'S BAR & GRILL “Terry-oke” karaoke with Terry Geil, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

Lebanon

DUFFY'S IRISH PUB Karaoke, 10:00 pm, FREE [SING] MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

Albany

stuff

ALBANY CIVIC THEATER “Excalibur! The Story of Young King Arthur,” 8:00 pm, $11 [STAGE] ALBANY PUBLIC LIBRARY “The Girl in the Yellow Bikini,” Murder Mystery, 12:00 pm, FREE [INTERACTIVE THEATER] LBCC RUSSELL TRIPP CENTER “Inspirations,” Dance showcase, 7:30 pm, $8 [DANCERS]

Corvallis

CORVALLIS PUBLIC LIBRARY Mid-Willamette Woodworkers Guild Annual Exhibition, 10:00 am [WOOD] CHS BLACK BOX THEATRE Willamette STAGE Company presents “Boston Marriage,” 8:00 pm, $19 [STAGE] CHS MAIN STAGE Willamette Apprentice Ballet, 8:00 pm, $12 [BALLET] FIRST ALT COOP SOUTH Wine tasting, 5:00 pm [WINE ME] WINESTYLES Friday Flights, 5:00 pm [WINE]


Albany

livemusic

CALAPOOIA BREWING Johnny Now and Marquee, 8:00 pm, FREE [AMERICANA] RHYTHM AND BREWS Altered Notes, 7:00 pm, FREE [ROCK]

Corvallis

BOMBS AWAY CAFÉ Striking Matches with Fjords, 10:00 pm, FREE [ROCK] CLOUD 9 Casey Hurt, 10:00 pm [SONGWRITER] FIREWORKS Radio Cowboy with Heather Christie, 8:00 pm [COSMIC COUNTRY FOLK] SQUIRREL’S TAVERN Norman & Gumbo, 9:00 pm, $5 [INDIE] SUNNYSIDE UP CAFÉ Second Saturdays Benefit Concert Series - for a better world feat Three Fingered Jack, 6:00 pm, $5 [CELTIC] TROUBADOUR MUSIC CENTER Ala Nar, 8:00 pm, $10 [MIDDLE EASTERN]

Lebanon

MERLIN’S BAR AND GRILL 3 Degrees Astray, 9:00 pm, FREE [ROCK]

Tangent

DIXIE CREEK SALOON Manic Maniacs, 9:00 pm [ROCK]

Albany

sing&dance

RILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Production presents DJ Tray, FREE [DANCE]

Corvallis

CORVALLIS DANCE CENTER CENTER Beginning Ballroom Lessons, 3:00 pm, Intermediate West Coast Swing Lessons, 4:00 pm, Beginning West Coast Swing, 6:00 pm [DANCE] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL On the Top: DJ Heartburn, 9:00 pm, FREE [DANCE] FCC GATTON HALL Corvallis Folklore Society presents Contra Dance: Betsy Branch and Mark Douglass with Stacy Rose, 7:30 pm, $6 [DANCE]

Lebanon

DUFFY'S IRISH PUB Karaoke, 10:00 pm, FREE [SING] MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

Albany

stuff

ALBANY CIVIC THEATER “Excalibur! The Story of Young King Arthur,” 8:00 pm, $11 [STAGE] LINN COUNTY FAIRGROUND Oregon Scottish Society Festival, 9:00 am [GREAT SCOT!]

Corvallis

Lebanon

WILLAMETTE SPEEDWAY Dirt Car Super Late Models, Modified, Sportsman, Classic, 6:00 pm, $14 [FIRE IT UP!]

sunday10 Albany

livemusic

CALAPOOIA BREWING Blues Jam, 4:00 pm [BLUES] NOVAK'S HUNGARIAN RESTAURANT Strings of Time, 6:00 pm, FREE [FOLK]

Corvallis

70. Prefix with skeleton or plasm Down 1. Scal_s 2. The Supremes’ “___ Symphony” 3. Indigenous American fruit 4. Sparkling wine city 5. Go_d feelings 6. Cool for _assover, say 7. Sit at a traffic light, perhaps 8. _ush 9. First words of a saying from Job 4:8 10. Extra 11. Erode 12. Fred Sanford portrayer 13. “Exotic” singer Sumac 21. Stable utterance 22. Popular CBS procedural 26. College, casually 28. Feel a bit_, in a way 30. Sauce that’s a Scrabble vowel dump 31. Tiger Beat alternative 32. A lazy person might need to

To be considered for a calendar listing, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to calendar@thealchemistweekly.com. For photo consideration please attach high resolution images with proper photo credit.

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get off theirs 35. Johnny who pitched with Warren Spahn 37. “I’m Yours” singer Jason 38. In a holding pattern for 39. Increased interest in government, say 40. 2003 role for Will Ferrell 41. New York Knicks great Patrick 42. “Skins” network 46. Doctrine 47. _apper on “Pimp My Ride” 49. Benzo brand name 50. Trojan horse epic 51. Island in a late Beach Boys song 53. Prefix or suffix for some light German beers 55. Internal purge? 58. Ancient Andean 59. Farm tower 60. Ride the sk_ 61. Like some e_cuses 62. By way of

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FIREWORKS The Infallible Collective, 8:00 pm, FREE [JAZZ] OSU LA SELLS STEWART Ryo Yanagitani, 4:00 pm, $25 [PIANO]

6

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Difficulty: Hard

TANGENT

DIXIE CREEK SALOON Acoustic Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [iPlay]

Corvallis

sing&dance

PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm [SING]

Lebanon

MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

stuff

Corvallis

[ROCK]

RESER STADIUM Corvallis Half Marathon, 9:30 am [RUN] ENOTECA WINE BAR Saketini Sunday, 3:00 pm [DRINK]

monday11 Corvallis

Saturday | APRIL 9th | 10:30 pm | FREE

stuff

FIREWORKS Southtown Talent Search: The Acoustic Showdown, 9:00 pm [LISTEN/PLAY] INTERSECTOR WORKSPACE 37 Cents Artists and Musicians Community Group Meeting, 6:00 pm [COLLECTIVE] OLD WORLD DELI Science Pub: Bees on the Brink, 6:00 pm OSU LASELLS STEWART “What If Christianity Were True? Lessons from Mother Teresa,” by Mary Poplin, 7:00 pm, FREE [RELIGION] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm [SING]

Striking Matches Bombs Away Cafe

Lebanon

MERLIN'S BAR AND GRILL Karaoke, FREE [SING]

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • APRIL 5, 2011 • 11

sudoku-puzzles.net

BENTON COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS Indoor Winter Market, 9:00 am, FREE [MARKET] Spring Stampede Rough Stock Rodeo, 7:00 pm [RAWHIDE] CHS BLACK BOX THEATRE Willamette STAGE Company presents “Boston Marriage,” 8:00 pm, $19 [STAGE] ENOTECA WINE BAR Saketini Saturdays, 3:00 pm [SAKE-TO-ME] FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH “I’ve Got Great Ideas but Nobody Listens,” by Actor Rod Davidson, 10:30 am, FREE [COMMUNCATE] INTERSECTOR WORKSPACE “So you Want to Start a Business?” 12:00 pm, FREE [BIZ] GARLAND NURSERY Little Sprouts: Seedings – Arbor Day Celebration, 11:00 am, FREE [GARDEN] JACKSON PLAZA Walk MS 2011 [CAUSE] WESTMINSTER HOUSE Community Rhythm Circle, 7:00 pm, FREE [GOT RHYTHM?]

Across 1. “Live with Regis and Kelly” hostess 5. “Seven Samurai” director Kurosawa 10. Out of whack 14. Cries of realization 15. W_ys 16. Regard 17. “Contract with America” figure, familiarly 18. Scottish area with many whisky distilleries 19. Surrealism precursor 20. What 38-Across filled, in 1861 23. Detergent in a red bottle 24. Place for an i_is 25. Glitch 27. The Jigsaw Killer’s biggest box office success, to date 29. Shul VIP 33. Came out ahead 34. Fictional sketch comedy series with Tracy Jordan and Jenna Maroney 36. Informal repayment promise 37. Like some cassingles 38. 57-Across between dinosaurs and birds, first unearthed 150 years ago 42. Intimate email signoff 43. Si_k 44. Pan Am rival 45. Bit of body art 46. The “izn” in shiznit, e.g., to a linguist 48. Walton, author of “The Compleat Angler” 52. What people in window seats get 54. Buddhist sect 56. Formula One racer Fabi 57. Filler of a 20-Across, and what 38-Across is in this puzzle’s clues 62. Number of an oft-married King Henry 63. Weeper of Greek myth 64. Chevy subcompact 65. Formalizes, as a deal 66. Thing submitted to an insurance company 67. More than _urt 68. D_ting concerns 69. Heart line

Inkwell Crosswords by Ben Tausig

saturday09

Flight Connection


WORD

Game Con Cometh Words and photos by JIMBO IVY The Game Con: the ultimate expression of communal geekitude and nerd-dom. Hundreds of gamers haul their treasured gear (be it decks, dice, or delicate miniatures) out of their respective lairs to a common space and let slip their particular dogs of war. Thousands of these celebrations of gamer-pride occur annually, but there’s only one Con for Corvallis.“Just A Game Con” is an annual gaming convention hosted by a local geek shop, Matt’s Cavalcade of Comics, and will take place at the Benton County Fairgrounds Auditorium on April 9-10. Matt Ashland, owner, has been providing play-space and gamer paraphernalia of every kind to the community for nearly 20 years. “Gaming is going great, even now,” Ashland said. “I mean, you can pay $50 to take your family to a movie and leave with nothing, or you can pay $50 to get a great game that you can play forever.” Gaming is unique

in that aspect, the cost per hour is generally very low. Miniature games, for example, have especially extended longevity. The player must, in some cases, first assemble the models, paint them, and then devise an army, all before ever playing the game. While that may sound like a chore, for miniature gamers, creation and customization of their models is a large part of the enjoyment. J o s h

12 • APRIL 5, 2011 • WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

Rowland, local miniature gamer and patron of Matt’s Cavalcade, says he’s spent approximately 100 hours on the modeling and painting of his Warhammer 40000 army. That may sound extreme, but considering Rowland’s army consists of nearly 50 models, each model coming packaged in several small pieces, it’s not unusual. But, miniature gaming isn’t all that’s going on in the area. Several local shops host weekly Magic: The Gathering, and other collectible card game tournaments. Collectible card games have a similar longevity aspect to miniature games, but also have a trading aspect that attracts people that enjoy “collecting” their games as well as playing them. Kyle Andrews, a local C C G enthusiast, admits that playing, for him, is a secondary aspect of his love for games like Magic: The Gathering. “I’m a collecting nerd; comic

books, action figures, everything. MTG fuels that hobby, but also allows me to enjoy a good fight every now and then.” In typical gamer fashion, Just A Game Con will be a marathon event; the Con will open at 10 am on Saturday, April 9 and will not close until 6 pm Sunday. Ashland, the event’s organizer commented on the dedication of the Con’s attendees, “We have people each year sleeping on tables, under tables, on couches—a quick nap, and then back to gaming.” Over the 32 straight hours of gaming, Con-goers can expect to find nearly every variety of gamer fetish proudly represented: roleplaying games such as Dungeons and Dragons as well as Pathfinder, both sanctioned and unofficial tournaments for CCGs such as Magic the Gathering, Pokémon, and Yu-Gi-Oh!, miniature game play-space for Hero Clix, Mechwarrior, Warhammer Fantasy and 40k, as well as Civil War minis. For the more casual geek or family-oriented geek,


m

WORD

s ty n s e o v i a r s T s se with

ic mus here use atmosp o h nge ive ress chill lou g r o p

EVERY TUESDAY Drink specials with Bartender Joshua Nilsen 9:00 pm No Cover

Matt’s Cavalcade also brings over 100 unique board games for attendees to try out over the course of the two-day event. Dealers from area collectible shops will also be on hand vending their wares, as well as demo teams from popular game publishers such as Steve Jackson Games and Loony Labs. Local game sensation, Pajaggle will be demoed at the Con; apparently this homegrown creation is so fun, many are hooked after only a single game. But, tabletop gaming isn’t the only thing Just A Game Con will offer. Computer and console gaming stations will also be available and patrons are welcome to bring their own machines, consoles and games to the event. “The Rock Band setup we do is really popular; it’s a great break from the traditional gaming,” Ashland says. Local anime and manga fans will find booths and artists featuring both domestic and international products for demo and purchase. Cosplay, or attending the event in costume, is welcome and encouraged and is usually an integral part of any Game Con. “We have people each year that cosplay,” Ashland says. “And this year we’ll have a live action group portraying characters from the Legend of the Five

magenta restaurant 137 2nd St Corvallis, OR

Rings CCG series.” For the uninitiated, this means there will be a group of folks dressed up in full samurai garb roving the Con, undoubtedly shouting and having at each other. According to Ashland, Society for Creative Anachronism groups have attended the Con in the past as well. This particular brand of geek enjoys celebrating the history and culture of pre-17th century Europe, generally through dress, traditional arts and live, armored combat. Gamers can’t battle on an empty stomach, but luckily concessions will be available at the Con, to fuel the unceasing war between good and evil, or evil and eviler, or whatever situation you happen to find yourself engaged. The price for admission to the Just A Game Con is incredibly low for an event of it’s size and scope: just $6 for a single day pass, or $10 for the whole 32 hours of nerdtopian delight, with little gamers under the age of 10 getting in free! Door prizes will be drawn every hour, with swag from local shops and dealers raining like so much mana from the heavens. So whether you’re a hardcore gamer or just a little geek-curious, there’s only one place to be on April 9 and 10: Just A Game Con at the Benton County Fairgrounds Auditorium, 10 am Saturday to 6pm Sunday.

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WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • APRIL 5, 2011 • 13


by

Coyote Kate

their mate eats, tends the nest and gradually teaches the brood survival. When the first mate tires, they switch duties. Libra, draw from your most excellent resources, co-workers, friends and family, to assist you with those who pursue, those who pile on the guilt. Wake up from any sort of denial under Uranus in Aries influence. Discover your stellar self. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The pseudo-eagles saga is put to rest for the summer as the crops in the fields now stand shin high. Their supportive crosses, and black and white suits now lay tucked away deep in boxes in barns. Scorpio, whatever force has kept you throughout the winter, acknowledge its accomplishments, sustainability and fortitude for helping you. Wrap it away carefully for future use.   Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I feel the ghosts of T-rex and others like them, standing by the gas pump near my vehicle. I hear them chuckle as the price rises as I fill my tank. Payback for sudden disappearance, tragic death, unresolved issues and unwanted reincarnations?  Any unresolved issue that keeps popping up like a ghost of this nature needs to be addressed Sagittarius. Count on the growing Moon to shed light on dispositional reoccurrences for resolution.   Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Under a new Moon this week, Neptune in Pisces flies free and clear in its force until Saturday when Pluto goes retrograde. Clarity ensues, Cappi. Henry Major Tomlinson (18731958) would remind you, “We see things not as they are, but as we are.”   Aquarius ( Jan. 20-Feb.18): In this era of liberation, there are more things I’d like to free myself from besides pork, a few habits, long, cold springs, mediocrity, etc. Choose one of your own Water Bearer. With the moon growing, now is the week to start.   Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A likely group under the bridge, out of the yet cold rain, shares food and drink, albeit a little unwillingly. One shakes out their finery, a new umbrella of protection. Across the way a large truck with signage that says, “Everybody eats.” Under the shelter, are they humans or mere birds? Virgo, do you heed or read only these words? Noblesse oblige becomes your mantra this week; yet remain behind the scenes as the fullness of Neptune moving into Pisces becomes more apparent with its strange and wonderful underpinnings.   Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): ‘Conotocaurious,’ meaning ‘Town Burner’ was the nickname given to George Washington by the Seneca as he destroyed Iroquois villages. Dichotomy rules your week Pisces as did the world of this fellow Pisces who said, “Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, conscience.” Fire has many purposes—the one inside remains vital for the more positive steadfast qualities of the human spirit.

DISC SKATE GLASS

01 1●

WEEKLY A

LOGER O R ST

2 , 5 il ●Apr

Aries (March 21-April 19): Ode to the Earthworms who despite cold and rain survive on dirt alone. Plus, they have the ability to copulate with any other and get pregnant while making the other worm pregnant. Aries, do you have any hermaphroditic abilities? As you ponder this remember, “One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.” (Walter Bagehot (1826-1877). Taurus (April 20-May 20): Authenticity comes only from an honest approach in all your relationships Taurus. Even a brief knowledge of world events warrants such. Cut the chaff in your life to get down to essentials, leaving those things that bring beauty to your life.   Gemini (May 21-June 20): There is a huge difference between delivering a baby in a sterile, hospital environment and having one under water. One can be a hell of pain, unless the mother separates her mind from her body and watches. The other is an experience, with minimal pain. Gemini, a rebirth heads your way. How you choose to issue the child is up to you.   Cancer ( June 21-July 22): Coyote’s jokes are getting old. What have you learned from them? You know, those little windows of chaos that warrant your attention perhaps when things don’t go your way, like when the key gets stuck in the lock, the toilet won’t flush appropriately, making you take a moment or two longer than you had intended. Those moments when you should focus more and you don’t want to. The lessons there are important for finding your sense of humor—that’s what Coyote does, allows us to laugh at ourselves even in the direst of moments. Seek out Coyote instead of ignoring this entity.   Leo ( July 23-Aug. 22): Forgiveness is like a waterfall to a parched, arid spirit, Leo. Next time the pain won’t go as deep or last as long because the pathway has been forged. Peace.   Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Fairer weather wars: Western Blue Jays harass Stellar Jays (deep blue with a black head) until fall. But the Stellers’ strategize, knowing their cousins’ intent causes interruptions in mating, chickraising and food gathering. One of a mated pair leads the Blue Jay around, through branches, to roofs, away from the nest while

14 • APRIL 5, 2011 • WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

Independently Owned since 2006

1110 NW Van Buren Corvallis, OR 541.754.4257

and present

The Great Cupcake Flavor Quest Submit your flavor combinations to cupcake@thealchemistweekly.com Please include Your name: Cupcake name: and flavors for

Cake: Frosting:

* *

*required

Filling: Topping:

Contest ends on April 15th with a tasting to determine the winner during May’s First Thursday at a location TBD.

Corvallis’#1 choice for new and used records, CDs, and DVDs.

Happy Trails Records Corner of 3rd and Monroe • Downtown Corvallis • 541.752.9032 • Mon -Sat 10:30 - 7:00, Sun 12:00 - 6:00

JACKSON STREET YOUTH SHELTER NOW HIRING! Jackson Street Youth Shelter, Inc. in Corvallis, OR is hiring! There is full time (34 hours/wk) Overnight Case Worker position available. We will also be hiring one or two part time Case Worker positions (18 hours/wk). All hiring and training needs to be done for potential staff to start working by April 22nd. The Overnight Case Worker position will pay between $9-$10.25/hr and the part time Case Worker position will pay between $8.50-$9/hr. The wage will be determined on education, experience, and your commitment to JSYSI and the Corvallis Community. To apply please do a resume, cover letter, have at least 3 references or reference letters, and copies of your current First Aid/CPR/Food Handlers certifications. The application can be sent by email or you can hand it in, in person. Please Contact KendraSue Phillips-Neal, Shelter Director @ sheltermanager@jsysi.org OR 541-754-2404


honey

EAT ME Baked macaroni and cheese with broccoli and sausage

lets go out

Hello everyone, my name is Mischa and I’m the sous chef at Le Bistro here in Corvallis. I picked this recipe to share with everyone for no reason other than I LOVE MAC AND CHEESE! Hope you enjoy it too.

Albany

Albany Civic Theater

111 First Ave. SW 541.928.4603

Macaroni: I like a mixture of elbows and small shell macaroni 1 lb. of ground pork sausage 2 cups of broccoli chopped into small pieces 4 cups of grated cheddar cheese Butter Bread crumbs Chopped garlic 1- 9x9 ceramic or glass dish

Directions:

First thing, put a large pot of salted water on high for cooking the macaroni and broccoli. While the water is coming to a boil fill your casserole dish half full with uncooked macaroni. Once the water comes to a boil, drop in your macaroni and cook according to the package directions. When the macaroni is half done, add in your chopped broccoli. Once both are tender, drain, rinse with cold water, and set aside.

151 NW Monroe Ave. 541.752.0262

Bogey’s Bar & Grill

The Beanery on 2nd

Calapooia Brewing

Big River Restaurant & Bar

129 W 1st Ave. 541.929.8900 In a large skillet cook your sausage until done throughout; make sure to break up any chunks that are too big. Drain off the grease and set the cooked sausage aside. Preheat your over to 450 degrees while assembling your mac and cheese. Take a little butter and coat the inside of your casserole dish. Next, put down a layer of bread crumbs and as much garlic as you would like *I like a lot!* Follow that with cheddar covering the whole bottom of the pan. On top of that put in one third of the cooked macaroni and broccoli and a layer of the cooked sausage. Keep repeating with layers of cheese and macaroni until you’ve used all the macaroni, sausage, and cheese. Make sure to cover the whole top in cheese—any macaroni not covered with cheese will get pretty hard in the oven. On top of the last layer of cheese put a generous amount of breadcrumbs. Now all you have do is bake in the oven until golden brown, usually about 30 minutes. A little longer if you like a very crispy top. Enjoy!

140 Hill St. NE 541.928.1931

Cappies Brewhouse

211 1st Ave W 541.926.1710

Cascade Grill

110 Opal St. NW 541.926.3388

Chasers Bar & Grill

Block 15

300 SW Jefferson Ave. 541.758.2077

Bombs Away Café

Dixie Creek Saloon

China Delight Restaurant

32994 Hwy 99E, Tangent, OR 541.926.2767

Favorite Mistake Sports Bar

5420 Pacific Blvd. 541.903.0034

Front Street Bar

325 NW 2nd St. 541.753.3753

Clodfelter’s

1501 NW Monroe Ave. 541.758.4452

Cloud 9

126 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900

2740 SW 3rd St. 541.738. 7600

Papa’s Pizza

1030 S.W. Third St. 541.757.2727

Peacock Bar & Grill

125 SW 2nd St. 541.754.8522

Squirrel’s

100 SW 2nd St. 541.753.8057

Sunnyside Up Café

116 NW 3rd St 541.758.3353

Suds & Suds

1045 NW Kings Blvd. 541.758.5200

Troubadour

521 SW 2nd St. 541.752.7720

Tyee Wine Cellars 26335 Greenberry Rd. 541.753.8754

Wanted Saloon 140 NW 3rd St.

WineStyles

2333 N.W. Kings Blvd. 541.738.9463

Crowbar

GameTime Sports Bar & Grill

Darrell’s Restaurant & Lounge

Artisian’s Well Lounge

DEL Alma

Cornerstone Café & Pub

2211 Waverly Dr. SE 541.981.2376

220 2nd Ave. 541.926.5546

Lariat Lounge 901 Pacific Blvd SE 541.928.2606

Linger Longer Tavern

145 SW Main St. 541.926.2174

Lucky Larrys Lounge 1296 S Commercial Way SE 541.928.3654

214 SW 2nd St. 541.753.7373

2200 NW 9th St. 541.752.6364 136 SW Washington Ave, Ste. 102 - 541.753.2222

Downward Dog

130 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900

Enoteca Wine Bar

136 SW Washington Ave. 541.758.9095

Fireworks Restaurant & Bar 1115 SE 3rd 541.754.6958

Flat Tail Pub

202 SW 1st St. 541.758.2219

Greenberry Store & Tavern

Riley’s Billiards Bar & Grill

29974 HWY 99W 541.752.3796

124 Broadalbin St SW 541.926.2838

550 NW Harrison Blvd. 541.754.1017

Wilhelm’s Spirits & Eatery

Impulse

1520 Pacific Blvd SE 541.926.7001

Harrison Bar & Grill

Lebanon

2250 South Main Rd. 541.451.3900

180 S 5th St. 541.847.6262

Duffy’s Irish Pub 679 South Main St. 541.259.2906

Fire Pit Lounge

2230 South Santiam Hwy 541.451.2010

GameTime Sports Bar & Grill

3130 South Santiam Hwy 541.570.1537

Merlin’s Bar & Grill 25 W. Sherman St. 541.258.6205

Peacock Bar & Grill East

76 E. Sherman St. 541.451.2027

Sports Shack & Deli

1250 Grant St. 541.259.0800

Philomath

1425 NW Monroe Ave. 541.230.1114

High 5 Sports Bar & Grill

La Bamba Mix Night Club

Meet’n Place Tavern

126 SW 4th St. 541.207.3593

Luc SheepDawg TV was created by Jordan Lucas and Tomas Correia in 2011. The project is directed towards connecting the Heart of the Valley and the Great Northwest with an inside look at the talented and professional artists in our local area. We are a YouTube based TV show and will be airing a ten minute episode once a month. We also provide advertising for local and small businesses. Check us out on YouTube and SUPPORT THE SHRED!

Murphy’s Tavern

2300 Northeast Front Ave. 541.926.2739

JP’s Restaurant & Lounge

@ Murphy’s, 9:30 pm

101 NW Jackson Ave. 541.757.0694

2527 NW Monroe Ave. 541.757.7221

916 Old Salem Rd NE 541.926.3111

Episode II Launches april 16TH

500 SW 2nd St 541.753.7442

435 SE 2nd Ave 541928.9634

Humpty’s Dump Bar & Grill

Sheepdawg TV

Aqua Seafood Restaurant & Bar

Alleyoop Lounge

901 Pacific Blvd 541.941.0977

Things you’ll need:

Corvallis

134 SW 4th St. 541.753.4171

1644 Main St.-541.929.7529 1150 Mian St. 541.929.3130

Wine Vault

1301 Main St. 541.929.8496

Wing Sing Restaurant & Lounge 658 Main St. 541.929.6255

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • APRIL 5, 2011 • 15


PRESENTS

EVERYBODY MUST GET STONES Benefit for The Majestic Theatre

Friday, April 8th Majestic Theatre 115 SW 2nd â&#x20AC;˘ Corvallis

Doors at 7:30

The Rolling Stones performed by XENAT-RA audiophilia

The Flailing Inhalers The Taste

presents 2011 Chubby Bunny Championship Thursday April 21st Flat Tail Brewery 541.928.3431 32067 Old Hwy 34 Tangent, OR

Monday - Saturday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm

GREENHOUSE: Frames & Kits, Plastics, Cloths, Heating/Cooling/Lighting ORGANICS: Composts, Nutrients, Seed Savers Exchange Retailer ENVIRONMENT: Controllers, Fans, Air Filters, Reverse Osmosis HYDROPONIC: Flood, Aero,Mediums, Nutrients, H2O Tanks LIGHTING: High Pressure Sodium, Metal Halide, T-5s, Fluorescent

20% off MSRP on most items for our military Veterans.

Commercial,Agriculture, Business,and Community Garden pricing too.

Locally owned and operated

www.samuraigreenhousesupply.com

The Alchemist Weekly Vol 4 No 170:39  

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • VOLUME 4 NUMBER 170:39 • APRIL 5, 2011

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