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them to begin thinking that something strange is going on. Effective horror needs good writing. People need to react realistically when faced with something terrible, and quite frankly the only characters the writers got right were the sodding zombies.

Wesker was the sort of ridiculous comicbook villain you see in Powerpuff Girls, not a survival horror.”

Then, there’s the level design. What kind of police station requires you to go to the basement to find a heart key so you can get into the canteen to find the diamond key which lets you get into the closet to find the spade key to get into the reception booth back at the entrance? This is bad level design, the only horror it evokes being that it passed quality control. Too often the arbitrary camera angles were used to conceal cheap scares (and more poor level design) instead of adding an unsettling atmosphere. I’m not even scratching the surface with the silliness of this series that detracts from all the scares. We’re at Resi 6 now (with loads of spinoffs), and the plot has grown so convoluted and nonsensical it makes Dallas’ “LOL Billy’s in the shower, it was all a dream” seem like the height of dramatic genius.

Resi 5 provides too much ammo and actually puts you in a swamp surrounded by mud-covered, spear-chucking tribals in gigantic wooden masks screaming “OOGABOOGABOOGA”. And Wesker was the sort of ridiculous comicbook villain you see in Powerpuff Girls, not in Survival Horror. Face it, Resident Evil might be an entertaining series, but it sure as hell isn’t scary.

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The Gazebo - Issue #3  

The Gazebo is a free, quarterly e-zine dedicated to gaming in the UK and Ireland.

The Gazebo - Issue #3  

The Gazebo is a free, quarterly e-zine dedicated to gaming in the UK and Ireland.

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