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GORILLAZ COLLABORATE, EVOLVE ON LATEST Snoop Dogg and Mos Def featured on Gorillaz’ new album, Plastic Beach University of Wisconsin-Madison

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

New ASM initiatives aim to help student finances By Robert Taylor The Daily Cardinal

Christopher guess/cardinal file photo

Madison Police Department Cpt. Mary Schauf said she supported the Downtown Safety Initiative as a way to improve the police response to bar crowds.

Committee OKs 2010 downtown safety plan By Taylor Curley The Daily Cardinal

The Public Safety Review Committee discussed and approved the Downtown Safety Initiative plan for 2010 Tuesday. “The very target of the plan is meeting the workload of the downtown with the appropriate number of officers,” Madison Police Department Cpt. Mary Schauf said. When bars in the downtown area close at night, the streets flood with people and there may not be enough officers to handle it, she said. Schauf said this contributes to the rise of alcoholrelated crime and incidents. Jim Keiken of the Madison Fire Department said the size of nighttime crowds also depends on the time of year. “Warmer weather, the approach to Mifflin, Halloween and the first two weeks on cam-

pus usually place a lot of calls to the EMT and fire department,” he said. The DSI would situate more officers downtown with the hope of lowering alcohol-related crime. “The very target of the plan is meeting the workload of the downtown with the appropriate number of officers.” Mary Schauf Central District captain Madison Police Department

“One of the goals of the project is to intercede before it happens, preventing the actual battery or the incident,” Schauf said. “I think this is a subject that we should be talking about,” Ald. Paul Skidmore, District

9, said. “What happens downtown affects the other districts. I’m not saying it negatively, but it just affects everyone, and it needs to be taken into account.” The committee approved the DSI plan and its recommendations for 2010, but the plan still requires approval by the Common Council. Committee members also discussed the proposed automated system for the 911 Center. The proposal would provide individuals with a nonemergency phone number with an automatic attendant to handle the call. “The problem with the auto attendant is that it asks the individual a lot of questions, asking them to determine if their case is lifethreatening or not,” Keiken said. Decisions regarding the 911 Center were referred to the next committee meeting.

The Associated Students of Madison’s Academic Affairs Committee met Tuesday to discuss several initiatives designed to ease student financial burdens at UW-Madison. The committee proposed a standing committee to address textbook issues in addition to finding a more permanent way of helping students manage the financial aid process. Jonah Zinn, Academic Affairs chair, said that while the committee already runs a textbook swap each semester, ASM hopes to establish a shared governance committee that would focus specifically on textbook issues. “What we are looking at is creating a standing committee through a shared governance process that would address textbooks,” he said. “There are a lot of things to work on, things like electronic textbooks, open-source textbooks, getting departments to focus on certain textbooks, library reserve programs and the possibility of creating a textbook rental program.” The idea behind making the textbook committee a standing committee, Zinn said, was to create a permanent mechanism that would continue to work on behalf of students and respond to new

challenges in the future. The textbook committee would contain three student representatives, three faculty members and three academic staff. All members would have voting rights as part of an open committee. The challenge, Zinn said, will be getting all parties—faculty, administration and students—to buy into the program. “This is something that we are trying to create by the end of the semester, but it needs to pass through the Student Council and the University Committee of the Faculty Senate and the Academic Staff Executive Committee of the Academic Staff Senate,” Zinn said. “We want to get as much support from the university as possible.” The Academic Affairs Committee also discussed ways to make the financial aid process easier and more accessible to students. In conjunction with the Office of Student Financial Aid, ASM hopes to host an information session and workshop on filling out FAFSA forms and offer one-on-one advising in April. Committee members said they hoped to make financial aid advising more permanent. “One of our objectives is to get this help process institutionalized and have it not just be something that happens once a semester,” Zinn said. “We want to prevent students from falling through the cracks.”

Former ACORN employees charged with fraud By Steven Rosenbaum The Daily Cardinal

The Wisconsin Department of Justice charged two former ACORN employees with election fraud Monday. Maria Miles and Kevin Clancy were charged with fraudulently registering individuals to vote multiple times, a felony that could result in up to three and a half years in prison or a $10,000 fine. The alleged offenses took place before the 2008 presidential election. Miles and Clancy were both special registration deputies for the city of Milwaukee in the summer of 2008 and were

employed by the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now. “Wisconsin citizens should not have to wonder whether their vote has been negated or diminished by illegally cast ballots.” J.B. Van Hollen attorney general Wisconsin

According to the criminal complaint, filed in Milwaukee County Monday, Clancy registered to vote three times and

Miles registered four times. The complaint also alleges Miles and Clancy both registered the same individual on a single day. Bill Cosh, spokesperson for the DOJ, said both types of activities are illegal. “When you register in Wisconsin, you have to indicate if you are a new voter or if it is a change of address. Either way, falsely registering or falsely procuring registration is a felony in the state of Wisconsin,” Cosh said. The complaint also detailed allegations of similar behavior by other ACORN employees and Milwaukee special registration deputies, but acorn page 3

danny marchewka/cardinal file photo

Members of ASM’s Academic Affairs Committee proposed the creation of a new committee focused solely on textbook issues.

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892

Babies and pregnant women are repulsive

Volume 119, Issue 104

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 l fax (608) 262-8100

JILLIAN LEVY one in a jillian

News and Editorial Charles Brace Editor in Chief Ryan Hebel Managing Editor Kelsey Gunderson Campus Editor Grace Urban City Editor Hannah Furfaro State Editor Hannah McClung Enterprise Editor Ashley Davis Associate News Editor Alison Dirr Senior News Reporters Ariel Shapiro Robert Taylor Anthony Cefali Opinion Editors Todd Stevens Katie Foran-McHale Arts Editors Jacqueline O’Reilly Scott Kellogg Sports Editors Nico Savidge Kevin Slane Page Two Editor Madeline Anderson Features Editor Ben Pierson Life and Style Editor Isabel Álvarez Photo Editors Danny Marchewka Caitlin Kirihara Graphics Editors Natasha Soglin Jenny Peek Multimedia Editor Jamie Stark Editorial Board Chair Anna Jeon Copy Chiefs Kyle Sparks Justin Stephani Jake VIctor Liz Van Deslunt Copy Editors Margaret Raimann, Lisa Robleski, Victoria Statz Maddie Yardley

Business and Advertising Cole Wenzel Business Manager Katie Brown Advertising Manager Michael Cronin Accounts Receivable Manager Mindy Cummings Billing Manager Ana Devcic Senior Account Executive Mara Greenwald Account Executives Kristen Lindsay, D.J. Nogalski Mara Greenwald Graphic Designer Eric Harris Web Director Mia Beeson Marketing Director Erin Schmidtke Archivist The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be typewritten, double-spaced and no longer than 200 words, including contact information. Letters may be sent to

Editorial Board Charles Brace Anthony Cefali Kathy Dittrich Ryan Hebel Nico Savidge Jamie Stark Todd Stevens Justin Stephani l





Board of Directors Vince Filak Cole Wenzel Joan Herzing Jason Stein Jeff Smoller Janet Larson Chris Long Charles Brace Katie Brown Benjamin Sayre Jenny Sereno Terry Shelton Melissa Anderson l



THURSDAY: rainy hi 53º / lo 40º

TODAY: rainy hi 51º / lo 39º


ometimes I wonder if my girly wiring is a little off. Instead of melting my heart and making my uterus glow with warmth, every time I look at a baby, I feel my arteries tighten and waves of nausea crash through my body. Seeing pregnant women is even worse. It’s not that I find babies unattractive—although anyone who says that every baby is beautiful either has a really hideous child or never saw photos of my sister Alison in her infancy—it’s more that I find them to be annoying and at times, terrifying. There are a lot of things about babies and the idea of getting pregnant that I can’t stand. Most prominently: the fat factor. While my body is nowhere near my idea of perfection, I’m pretty sure that there’s no faster

way to destroy your physique than shoving a baby into your stomach. When people say being pregnant is sexy or beautiful I throw up in my mouth a little. Babies live like kings and I hate it. Eat. Sleep. Cry. Shit. Cry. Sleep. Repeat. I can’t think of a more relaxing or wonderful life. Fortunate babies have a gaggle of women around them at all times (and perhaps one or two courageous men) who are willing to sniff butts, change diapers and lose their sleep and sanity. Sometimes I think to myself: If I ever accidentally had a baby, would I kill it out of envy? I’m way too selfish to sacrifice my “Me” time for “Mini Me” time. That’s why I’ve become a birth-control connoisseur of sorts. For the last six years, I’ve swallowed hundreds of pills, gotten stuck with countless needles, stuck patches on my ass and allowed doctors to examine areas of my body that not even I want to see that closely, all in the name of never, ever becoming pregnant. I think if someone told me that swallowing quarters or shaving my head bald would prevent me from

getting knocked up, I would absolutely do it without thinking twice. Recently, I decided that I wanted to get an IUD. For those of you who are less educated in the ways of the birth-control world, an IUD is a little T-shaped piece of plastic or copper that lives in a uterus for five to 12 years. Meaning, no babies for five to 12 years. Dream come true! There are some downsides. It’s crazy expensive, and it obviously doesn’t insert itself, so that’s a guaranteed awkward experience for everyone involved. But I took Econ 101, and I know how these things work. There’s a cost/benefit relationship, and I don’t care what the cost is as long as the benefit is a child-free life. Sometimes people question my antibaby antics. Most say things like, “Oh, you’re so young. You’ll change your mind when you meet the right guy,” or, “You’re very maternal. You’d love to be a mom someday.” To them I say, A) “I think I’ve found Mr. Right, and let me tell you, he is not going to be Mr. Dad. I am

not sharing his patience with some stupid kids. Within five years he would be so frustrated with our ‘family’ he would have to leave and then I would be stuck with a gaggle of children that I don’t want.” And B) “I have to be maternal to take care of the children I already have, like my father, my sister and my alcoholic roommates. I don’t have time for the whole birthing process.” My reasoning for not wanting children is rock-solid. Why the hell would I ever want little versions of myself running around, terrorizing mankind? Ninety percent of the time when I reflect on the choices I’ve made in my life it’s hard not to shudder and feel sympathetic for my father. I’m not sure my heart is in any condition to go through half of what I put him through. I would be in jail for murder before any of them reached 16... That is, if they even make it past the nonstop crying infancy. Does your blood curdle at the sight of pregnant women? Have a baby horror story? Email Jillian at

ASK THE DEER CARDINAL Life is hard. The Deer Cardinal is here to help.

Deer Cardinal— I’m trapped in a burning house and the smoke is piling up! I used to remember this helpful acronym they taught us in elementary school. I think it was stop, drop and something, but I can’t remember the last step! PLEASE HELP THE FLAMES ARE SO HOT I THINK IT’S STARTING TO MELT MY COMPUT— Hello there, concerned citizen! First of all, why the anonymous letter? I usually only answer questions when people leave their name, because as my father always said, if you’re gonna say something, you should

be willing to let everyone know you said it. My father was a pretty smart guy, I guess. Funny, too. He just never had time for any of us baby birds back at the nest as the St. Louis Cardinals mascot. Then he got fired from St. Louis for drinking on the job and took a job with the Arizona Cardinals, which was a major step down. Plus he didn’t have enough money to move the whole family, after he blew it all in a bad birdseed deal. Our entire childhood consisted of working odd jobs, taking care of each other and watching my dad act like a drunk idiot on Sundays in front of tens of thousands of

booing fans. The humiliation was almost unbearable. Wait, what was your question again? Oh, the fire thing. I think you’re all wrong, man. The first ‘s’ definitely stands for ‘scream,’ so I’d start there if I were you. Thanks for writing! Deer Cardinal— Can I ask you a personal question? I’m not a very outgoing kid, and I kind of need friends. Like, I don’t know a single person. I have a single in Lucky and barely ever leave my room. You seem like the kind of guy I’d like to get a beer with; wanna hang out sometime? —Greg K.

GregNo. Think the Deer Cardinal was kind of a dick this week? Well maybe you should try typing an advice column and raising three baby birds with a broken wing, you worthless cretin! E-mail him porn links, hilarious cat videos and maybe some questions, if you really have to at deercardinal@da

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For the record Corrections or clarifications? Call The Daily Cardinal office at 608-262-8000 or send an e-mail to

Girl walking home wearing frat boy’s sweatpants ‘isn’t fooling anyone,’ sources say Christie Mathews insists that she and well-known womanizer Nick Jackson are simply “study buddies” after being questioned by reporters while walking from Jackson’s residence to her own at approximately 7:45 a.m. local time Sunday morning. Mathews was seen wearing Jackson’s “Beaver High School Wrestling” sweatpants, as well as a men’s large North Face coat, heavily rumored to belong to Jackson, while she made the journey that the liar insists was “definitely not a walk of shame.” Despite Mathews’ repeated claims that she simply “fell asleep” after studying “for hours” with Jackson Saturday night, even friends remain skeptical of Mathews’ version of the events. “I saw her around midnight at Brothers with Nick, yeah, she

looked wasted. But then again, Christie’s always getting wasted. She says they didn’t fuck? She isn’t fooling anyone,” said eyewitness and fellow Biology 101 classmate Brad Tillman. When reporters asked Jackson about the night’s events the following day, he evaded the question. “I don’t kiss and tell and me saying that doesn’t necessarily mean that me and Christie hooked up,” Jackson said with an obnoxious grin. “All I can say is that I’m at college to have a good time and above all to GET THE JOB DONE, ya know what I’m saying?” Jackson then pretended to shoot an imaginary basket into an imaginary hoop and made a “swish” sound with his mouth. As reporters started to leave Jackson’s residence, Jackson’s roommate and fellow douchebag Trey Abrams entered the apartment and asked Jackson how his Saturday night had gone.

Jackson responded that he “got another notch on the old belt” before making repeated pelvic thrusts toward his roommate while pretending to spank an imaginary buttocks. —Phil Vesselinovitch Comm. Arts student finds professor on Chat Roulette, feels really uncomfortable UW-Madison sophomore Chrissy Anderson was still in shock yesterday after encountering her Comm. Arts professor on the social networking website Chat Roulette. “I had just clicked past another guy masturbating, and there was professor Michaels, staring at me,” Anderson said. “I was in my pajamas and everything.” Chat Roulette, a site that randomly connects users via webcam, has led to a number of strange and hilarious encounters. “My friend saw his dad on

there the other day,” junior Greg McLellan said. “They were both holding signs that said ‘show titties please.’ He said it was pretty damn awkward.” Professor Harold Michaels, a media studies professor in Arts Communication the Department, insisted his use of Chat Roulette was purely for research purposes. “I teach a class called ‘Critical Internet Studies,’ of course I’m going to be on Chat Roulette!” Michaels said. “The fact that I was wearing a mesh tank top was entirely coincidental.” Michaels said he would continue his research on Chat Roulette but would most likely wear a “Friday the 13th” mask in the future to avoid any future confrontations. “I wish Chrissy the best of luck this semester,” Michaels said. “But if she thinks she can use this to get extra credit, she’s out of her damn mind.” —Kevin Slane

The nuclear option Engineer and author Joseph Shuster spoke on the need for alternative energy sources and recommended nuclear energy as the necessary alternative to fossil fuels in a lecture at Grainger Hall Tuesday.

danny marchewka the daily cardinal

Doyle backs off on school reforms; GOP lawmaker to propose new bill By Ariel Shapiro The Daily Cardinal

Amid speculation that Gov. Jim Doyle is backing down on education reform initiatives, a Republican lawmaker said he is ready to introduce a new K-12 education bill. State Rep. Brett Davis, R-Oregon, whose bill focuses on helping school boards balance their costs, said Democrats in the state Legislature are not particularly interested in education reform, making it difficult for Doyle to get his initiatives realized. “I think it’s got to be frustrating for the governor,” Davis said. “He’s trying to get as many things done as he can, but he’s got a Legislature that’s not paying any attention to him.” Davis said his proposal is “more realistic about the school finance sys-

tem” because it does not call for an increase in property taxes. Adam Collins, a spokesperson for Doyle, said education reform has received significant attention nationally and across Wisconsin in the past year. “That’s become a priority for states across the country, but also for Wisconsin, the Legislature and the governor,” he said. Collins told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Monday that the Legislature lacked interest in Doyle’s proposal. John Witte, UW-Madison professor of political science, said Doyle “put a number of these proposals on the table, and they haven’t gone very far, and that’s a failing [on his part].” Witte said Doyle’s inability to garner enough support to

pass a mayoral-takeover bill for Milwaukee Public Schools is an example of a failed proposal. In November 2009, Doyle signed four bills that aimed to make Wisconsin more competitive for federal education funding. Last week, Wisconsin was declined funding from the first round of Race to the Top education dollars. “The governor and the Legislature worked very hard and passed a number of very significant education reform initiatives ... to improve education here in Wisconsin and really kind of take those first steps on education reform,” Collins said. Witte said Wisconsin could receive federal money this summer from the second round of Race to the Top funds.

WiCell Research Institute expands WISC Bank stem cells The WiCell Research Institute, the host of the former National Stem Cell Bank, has increased the number of cell lines available in its WISC Bank. WiCell has redistributed all 20 of the NSCB’s human embryonic stem-cell lines to their own WISC Bank, expanding their accessible cell lines to 33. WISC Bank will continue to “carry its previously banked seven induced pluripotent (iPS) stem-cell lines and six genetically modified hES

acorn from page 1 Miles and Clancy are the only ones currently facing charges. Cosh would not comment on possible future charges. “We do not talk about ongoing investigations,” he said. Three other individuals were also charged with election fraud Monday. Herbert Gunka and Suzanne Gunka, both from Milwaukee, were both charged with double voting. Michael Henderson, of Milwaukee, was charged with unlawfully voting. State law prohibits felons from voting while serving their sentences, and Henderson was convicted of two felonies in 2005. “Wisconsin citizens should not have to wonder whether their vote has been negated or diminished by illegally cast ballots,” Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen said in a statement.

cell lines,” according to a release. WiCell was founded in 1999 as a UW-Madison affiliated nonprofit research institute and is now under contract with the National Institutes of Health to host the former NSCB for five years.

“WiCell has developed a unique track record in developing the expertise, protocols and quality assurance systems for the optimal growth, culture, testing, storage and distribution of ... [stem] cells,” WiCell Executive Director Erik Forsberg said in a release.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010




Doyle signs legislation aiming to increase health-care cost transparency Gov. Jim Doyle signed legislation Tuesday that aims to make health-care costs more transparent for consumers. The Health Care Transparency Bill requires providers to release information on common procedures to their customers. The bill intends to give consumers more access to price information so they can make informed decisions about the procedures they receive. “Nowhere else are people asked to buy a product before they know what the price is ... this bill is a practical step forward that will help people better understand what their health-care costs are before making important health-care decisions,” Doyle said in a statement. The Wisconsin Association of Health Plans, an organization

comprised of 16 health provider groups, praised the legislation. Nancy Wenzel, CEO of WAHP, said the bill parallels steps many health-care providers across the state are already taking.

“Nowhere else are people asked to buy a product before they know what the price is.” Jim Doyle governor Wisconsin

“As access to health-care cost information increases, we expect consumer demand for the information will grow. Health plans are working to meet the growing demand,” she said in a statement.

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

New Gorillaz a day at the Beach By Joe Bartolone THE DAILY CARDINAL

With soft waves, a gentle breeze and some easy feelings, the introduction track of Gorillaz’ newest album, Plastic Beach, immerses you into a world of tropical peace. The next song, “Welcome to the Plastic Beach,” features Snoop Dogg, and as its title suggests, the song drives this beachy point home. Plastic Beach is the third studio album from the British pop-rock band. The project is a different musical venture for Gorillaz co-creator Damon Albarn. This change in direction is clearly heard when listening through the album in its entirety. Considering Gorillaz are simply an eclectic group of producers and musicians coming together to construct a virtual band, this change was to be expected. The melancholy sound of previous Gorillaz tunes, such as “Clint Eastwood,” has been exchanged for

a more positive and upbeat style. tener to follow and experience. Despite this evolution, there is a song On Plastic Beach, this journey on the new album with the group’s is easily recognizable and easy previous style right in its name: “On to join. The mention of synthetic mateMelancholy Hill.” Ironically, it’s one of the most joyful and poppy tracks rial in the album’s title should serve as a warning to listeners: They need on the record. This new approach takes to be ready for an overly manufacon a more bubbly, funky feel tured sound, one conductive to a on “Superfast Jellyfish,” which perfectly warm summer day. Albarn commented in features De La CD REVIEW 2009 that he conSoul and Gruff ceived the idea for Rhys. The song this album while is a reflection on the beach, tryof the album in ing to find “the general: overt plastic within the electronic beats sand.” Shortly after mixed with synthesizer overlays this experience he Plastic Beach and vocoders. began recording Gorillaz Yet, as on prenew material for vious Gorillaz his then-side-projalbums, the album’s best trait is ect, Carousel. But in September the way each track flows from 2008, Albarn and fellow producer one to another. This flow creates Jamie Hewlett announced they were a journey the band wants the lis- producing another Gorillaz album,

with Carousel being Plastic Beach’s starting point. With guest artists like Mos Def, Snoop Dogg, De La Soul and Lou Reed as well as guest musicians/producers Hypnotic Bass Ensemble and the Lebanese National Orchestra for Oriental Arabic Music, Plastic Beach is a collaborative treasure. Albarn and Hewlett keep the production on par with their prior studio ventures, and the evolution in sound is a breath of fresh air that the group’s listeners will definitely enjoy taking in. The album is a must-listen for those who enjoy a more electronic, synthesized sound. Listeners shouldn’t be shocked to find the preconceived Gorillaz style hard to find. It does pop up in a few tracks, so one must listen through the entire album. It needs to be taken in slowly, its hidden complexities appreciated, similar to how one takes in all of the minor perfections experienced during a peaceful day at the beach.



Three random spots to read ALEX KUSKOWSKI the big bookowski n my one-woman march to educate every single living person about the greatest things books contain, I was enlightened by a friend who told me she “didn’t have the time, y’know, to sit and read stuff.” This statement got me thinking: How do I make the time to “sit and read stuff?” For me, the idea of an afternoon curled up in a comfy armchair surrounded by unread books sounds just as good as relaxing on the Terrace in the sunshine with friends. Obviously, my friend, who shall remain unnamed lest I embarrass her with her overly busy social calendar, did not agree. So to help everyone who bears a slight resemblance to my friend with her social hierarchy of needs, I’ve come up with a list of unlikely places a person could find time to read a book. 1. Place: Next to any talkative friend with a phone Time: Always Everyone has that friend: the one who will pick up any call and superglue the phone to her ear. It doesn’t matter what she was doing, once the phone rings, baby, she’s gone. Reading is a wonderful new way to passiveaggressively deal with the complete lack of manners of someone who’s suddenly decided she had to have a heart-to-heart chat with her camp buddy from the second grade. Pulling out a book will be more entertaining than staring off into space pretending you’re not listening, and the novel is sure to be more interesting than the friend is anyway. 2. Place: Walking Time: Going to the grocery store, shopping, class Walking in a straight line (when sober) isn’t a problem for most people, and I’ve found, through trial and error, that reading while doing so isn’t that much more difficult. Everyone has to walk some time on her own without an iPod to provide a soundtrack, and, trust me, most of the time the scenery isn’t as interesting without music. Walking while reading promotes multitasking, balance and, most importantly, an even faster trip to class. Passersby often slide out of the way, while cars halt magically in the presence of the true intelligence a person reading a book exudes. Really, you barely even notice the yelling and the honking. 3. Place: A loud, crowded party Time: Waiting for the liquor to kick in and make people more interesting Now this may seem like a less obvious place, but actually it’s the best of the three. With the bass thumping, people crammed into every available space and unable to hear the person next to them, pulling out a book is a way to get noticed. With all the reflections off the keg and beer cans, finding enough light to read by won’t be a problem. Also, reading always makes one look really smart. So much so that by the end of the night anyone who parties hard but is still capable of reading Chaucer will be elected king of the party for his superior abilities. Think reading is too awesome to be done at a party? Explain why to Alex at


comics 6


When in Rome: There is a city called Rome on every habitable continent.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Today’s Sudoku

Evil Bird

By Caitlin Kirihara

© Puzzles by Pappocom

Ludicrous Linguistics

By Celia Donnelly

Solution, tips and computer program available at

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

The Graph Giraffe Classic

By Yosef Lerner

Today’s Crossword Puzzle


By Patrick Remington

First in Twenty

By Angel Lee

Answer key available at

BB shot ACROSS 1 Become swollen 6 First Hebrew patriarch 11 A word before you go 14 Blood vessel that begins at the heart 15 Construction site hoister 16 Howard of “American Graffiti” 17 Straw, to a camel? 19 Run a deficit 20 Put away fodder 21 Birth-month symbol 22 Travel in trunks? 23 Lymph lump 25 Be bratty 27 Locations on the Internet 31 Spot for an espresso 32 “Today I ___ man” 33 Doofus 34 Upright, for one 37 Writing tips 39 TV series with sleuths Shawn and Gus 42 In a dominant position 43 Clothesline alternative 45 Ankh feature 47 Youngest of the Gabor sisters 48 Certain unmentionables

0 Absolutely necessary 5 52 Move in a lively way 55 Sicilian lava source 56 Appear on the horizon 57 Salutation from Brutus 59 Newscast feature 63 “Capital” ending 64 Worker with his own lunch 66 Help for a driver 67 Actress Lonette of “Malcolm X” 68 Villainous looks 69 Write down the wrong answer, e.g. 70 Most diminutive 71 1,000 liters DOWN 1 “Curse of the Bambino” figure 2 Bank or library offering 3 Evil Tolkien soldiers 4 Low-carb diet maven 5 Celebrity scandal source 6 Breeze through, as a course 7 Indulge in self-praise 8 Didn’t leave leaves 9 Lacking vitality 10 The sea, to the French

1 Bossy one 1 12 “Ouch!” 13 Opposing military force 18 Colorful grass 22 “Lost in Translation” director Coppola 24 Wet wigglers 26 Tree exudate 27 Airport security tool 28 Abu Dhabi prince 29 Postwar child 30 Phonograph needles 35 ___ Scotia, Canada 36 Semiprecious gem 38 Hospital fluid 40 Volcano shape 41 Sociable soaking spot 44 Scampered and scurried 46 Letter-exchanging friends 49 Not easy to come by 51 iPhone or BlackBerry 52 Top-___ golf balls 53 Consistent failure 54 Call to mind 58 Cote inhabitants 60 “Permit Me Voyage” poet James 61 AK or HI, once 62 Gaelic language 64 German car company 65 Wimbledon barrier

Washington and the Bear

By Derek Sandberg

opinion Abortion debate wrongly focused


The ever-raging abortion debate has made numerous headlines recently because of the near-constant protests by pro-life groups outside the Madison Surgery Center. As an avid proponent of a woman’s right to choose, I always react to these demonstrations with anger and disgust. Nothing is more insulting and disrespectful to the women who have made this difficult and emotional choice than crowds spitting misnomers like “murder” and holding poster boards displaying pictures of aborted fetuses. Just thinking about it infuriates me. However, the pro-life crowd always spouts one fact that rings true: Life begins at conception. The pro-choice side of the debate often attempts to contend this point, citing experts on fetal nervous system development who valiantly try to hammer out at just what point the fetus can be considered truly “alive.” However, these explanations are truly in vain and ultimately weaken the pro-choice argument, instead of strengthening it.

Does the fact that life does and indeed must begin at conception make the pro-life side correct?

The scientific definition of “life” does not require cognition or extensive nerve development, or even a recognizable fetus. Most biology textbooks give a definition of “life” describing an organism that engages in metabolism and reproduction (or cell division). Therefore this definition excludes things like viruses, which, though they possess genetic material, lack the ability to perform metabolism or reproduce outside of a host cell. However, the cell formed at conception fits cleanly and inarguably into the basic scientific definition of a living organism. At human conception, a sperm cell and an egg cell merge to

form a zygote, a single cell with a completely unique genome. This zygote is capable of all of the functions that classify an organism as “alive,” so it must follow that the pro-life insistence that “life begins at conception” is true. Certainly this zygote only resembles a human life in its genome, because physically, it likely looks exactly like the zygote of a cat or a dog or a dolphin. However, this does not exclude it from the category of “living” organisms. The real question then is: How relevant is this? Does the fact that life does, and indeed must, begin at conception make the pro-life side correct? Of course not. The classification of a human zygote as “alive” has absolutely no bearing on the question of whether a woman should possess the right to exert control over her own body. This fact is a distraction, harnessed by the pro-life side of the debate, to try to make their argument seem more legitimate. However, the fact that the zygote is indeed alive should not affect a woman’s right to make decisions regarding her own body. Dwelling upon the classification of the zygote as alive or not alive is an endeavor that the pro-choice side should abandon quickly. Rather, we must reconcile ourselves with the fact that, by definition, an abortion terminates a life, and specifically, a human life. This unfortunate fact does not negate the validity of the pro-choice argument by any means. By jumping on the false issue of the definition of “alive,” we on the pro-choice side are losing sight of the real issue: the need to keep the control of women’s bodies in their own hands. We must focus our attention on the more important matter of maintaining women’s rights and avoid giving credence to the contrived debate over the definition of “life.” Alyssa Lochen is a senior majoring in zoolog y and Spanish. We welcome all responses. Please send all feedback to

Today in The Daily Cardinal’s opinion blog, The Soapbox, Anthony Cefali keeps the heat on the DNR and factory farms. Check out this and other political commentary at and click on “The Soapbox”

Wednesday, March 10, 2010



view Cardinal View editorials represent The Daily Cardinal’s organizational opinion. Each editorial is crafted independent of news coverage.

no way to win this race to the top


ast week, the state of Wisconsin received the “Billy Madison” treatment in the Department of Education’s Race to the Top. At no point in Wisconsin’s rambling, incoherent proposal were they even close to anything resembling a rational thought. Everyone in the federal government is now dumber for having read it. They awarded us no points, and may God have mercy on our souls. Or at least the souls of Wisconsin students. This is the situation Wisconsin finds itself in after officially failing to make the list of finalists for the first round of Race to the Top funding. The Department of Education released its list of 15 finalist states and Wisconsin was nowhere to be found. After months of posturing from the legislature, Gov. Jim Doyle, gubernatorial candidates and numerous other Wisconsin political personalities tried to wrangle funds from Uncle Sam, which included a controversial attempt to take control of the Milwaukee Public School system away from the school board. These efforts remain in tact but the spirit behind it remains as state governments and school districts across the country who are still scrambling like chickens with their heads cut off to make any changes they possibly can, regardless of whether they are well thought out or whether there is actually evidence that they will benefit students. Following a decade of school districts trying to keep up with the

Bush administration’s badly planned and poorly executed No Child Left Behind initiative, one would think the Obama administration would have learned a lesson from that fiasco, but they too have fallen into the trap of thinking federal meddling in public schools will solve our nation’s education issues. There is nothing wrong with the U.S. Department of Education providing funding to poor school districts. Despite what political-pointscoring legislators may say, there are problems that can be solved with money so long as school districts spend it responsibly. But Race to the Top does not encourage school districts to act responsibly, it encourages them to enact change merely for the sake of change. In the case of the Milwaukee Public School system, this is exactly what would have occurred. The takeover proposed by state Sen. Lena Taylor, D-Milwaukee, would give the mayor the ability to appoint the superintendent, and the superintendent would have the power to write the budget with the school board having no power to make changes, effectively stripping the board of power. This isn’t the kind of change Milwaukee students need. Milwaukee students need proven administrators and principals in their schools that can manage effectively. They need effective teachers in their classrooms who aren’t required to teach to the test. They need change on a micro level, not the macro level that Race to the

Top ends up creating. This shouldn’t be determined by a group of people sitting in Washington, D.C., especially when that group is led by a man like Arne Duncan who has never been a teacher. Instead Wisconsin legislators should be talking with the teachers’ union, superintendents’ union and the state School Board Association, none of which were ever contacted about preparing Wisconsin to receive Race to the Top funds. Race to the Top was not a bright idea in the first place. It is as arbitrary as the academic decathlon Adam Sandler went through against Bradley Whitford to get control of his father’s business. The pageantry here is obscene, particularly when we are parading children around for it. It may not be politically popular to give money to bad school districts, but sometimes that is a necessary reality we must face. Race to the Top funds should not be given to the states who make arbitrary changes just to create the illusion of progress, it should be given to the individual school districts like Milwaukee who need the money the most in order to ensure our nation’s educational tradition. Milwaukee Public Schools are failing, but only because the state of Wisconsin and programs like Race to the Top are failing ahead of it. We need to find a way to give Milwaukee the money it needs and then let it fix itself in practical ways Otherwise today’s kids aren’t going to end up any more intelligent than Billy Madison.

sports 8


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Men’s Tennis

Badgers return home for in-state clash By Emma Condon THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Wisconsin men’s tennis team returns from nearly a month on the road to take on No. 70 Marquette Wednesday, looking to snap a three-match slump. “You want to play a strong schedule, and we’re doing that,” head coach Greg Van Emburgh said about the team’s recent luck on the road. “It’s a little unfortunate not to beat Notre Dame, that match might have gotten away from us a little bit. We didn’t take our opportunities when they presented themselves.” In their last two road trips, the Badgers dropped three straight matches against strong nonconference opponents, first at College Station against No. 17 Texas A&M, then to No. 18 Texas Tech and finally to No. 38 Notre Dame. Their last time out the men fell to the Irish in a drawn-out contest decided in competitive singles play, 4-3. “We worked harder this week. Coach was not happy about [the Notre Dame loss],” senior and co-captain Moritz Baumann said. “We’re just tired of losing, so we’ve got to get back on track.” Van Emburgh said he hopes to see a new direction from the squad in light of last weekend’s result.

“I hope it was an eye-opener for them, showing that we could lose to a team that quote-unquote we’re supposed to beat,” he said. “We’re vulnerable just like any team outside the top 10. It’s who wants it a little bit more, who hustles a little harder, who gets those 4-3 wins.” Turning their attention now to an in-state rival, the Badgers host a squad fresh off a two-match losing streak of its own but undoubtedly motivated by its first ever national ranking and looking to take advantage of the Badgers’ slump for an upset of its own. “The biggest thing is making sure we’re ready to go and ready to match their intensity, and I think everything else will sort of take care of itself.” Evan Austin assistant coach UW men’s tennis

“Marquette is one of those gritty teams. They hustle real hard, they fight, they scream and yell, and they’ve got some good tennis players,” Van Emburgh said. “We’ll be able to respond like I know we can, and we’ll come out there and we’ll

Men’s Basketball

take it to them.” This season the Golden Eagles are 11-2, collecting their only losses on their lone road trip out west last weekend. In addition to the team’s first ranking, senior No. 84 Dusan Medan recently earned his own spot, making him the highest-ranked singles player in the lineup this decade. “The biggest thing is making sure we’re ready to go and ready to match their intensity, and I think everything else will sort of take care of itself,” assistant coach Evan Austin said. “We haven’t played in a little while, so we just want to come out and play with a lot of energy and be fired up.” Whether Wisconsin is ready to come out of their slump or Marquette can improve on an upswing of firsts with a victory, the Badgers said they will not take anything for granted Wednesday night. “After losing three matches in row there’s no reason to be cocky,” Baumann said. “They’re serious, and we know they’re always fired up to play.” First serve will hit Wednesday at 5 p.m. at Nielsen Tennis Stadium and the men will be back to take the court again this Sunday for a doubleheader against Western Illinois and Illinois State.

Problems in sports that need to be addressed SCOTT KELLOGG the cereal box


oo many times when I’m watching sports I think of a column idea, then realize there’s no way I can stretch those concepts into a full story. So instead I thought it would be appropriate to throw all of them into one.


Senior guard Trevon Hughes was one of three UW players to receive recognition in the regular-season Big Ten awards.

Hughes, Bohannon, Leuer earn Big Ten regular-season honors The Big Ten announced its endof-the-year awards late Monday, and the selections included Wisconsin senior guards Trevon Hughes and Jason Bohannon and junior forward Jon Leuer. The 2009-’10 All-Big Ten Men’s Basketball Team includes Hughes as a member of the second team and Bohannon on the third team. Hughes scored a team-high 15.4 points per game this year, good for eighth in the conference. Bohannon scored 12 points per game this season, 20th in the Big Ten. Hughes shot 39.6 percent from long distance, and Bohannon shot 41.1 percent. Leuer, despite missing nine games this season because of a wrist injury, earned an honorable mention. In 21 games this season, Leuer


No. 13 Moritz Baumann and No. 37 Wisconsin face in-state rival Marquette today at 5 p.m at the Nielsen Tennis Stadium.

scored 14.9 points per game and hauled in a team-high 5.7 rebounds per contest. Some believed head coach Bo Ryan would be named the Big Ten Head coach of the year after guiding his squad to fourth place in the conference after being picked by the media to finish eighth. Instead, the media chose Ohio State head coach Thad Matta, whose Buckeyes won a share of the Big Ten title. OSU junior forward Evan Turner was named the conference’s player of the year. Joining him on the first team were Illinois junior guard Demetri McCamey, MSU sophomore guard Kalin Lucas and Purdue junior forward Robbie Hummel and junior guard E’Twaun Moore. —Scott Kellogg

Game switches During sports, mostly basketball games in the NCAA Tournament, as soon as a game goes over its designated two-hour time slot, there are constant look-ins to the next game. During an overtime thriller, no one cares if Tennessee’s beating Utah State 4-2 after 90 seconds. But for some reason the networks think people care. NFL draft Everyone wants to be the first to break a story, and unfortunately it’s killing the NFL draft. With both ESPN and NFL Network broadcasting the draft, the competition is intense. Instead of the commissioner revealing the picks on the podium, the picks are now revealed to the audience with camera shots of the prospect on the phone in the green room or at his home. Sure, the public is aware of the news a little sooner, but this makes the draft anticlimactic. It’s far more exciting to wait for the commissioner to approach the podium and say, “With the fourth pick in the NFL draft, the Washington Redskins select...” as the audience waits with bated breath. But that dramatic moment is now a thing of the past.

Hockey helmets It’s easy to spot an NHL player on the street—just look at his teeth, or lack thereof. Nearly every player in the league is missing some. This epidemic can easily be solved by the implementation of a facemask, like those seen on the Wisconsin hockey team. The NHL does not mandate full facemasks, but why players choose not to protect their faces with a mask is mindboggling. NFL coaches No one looked better roaming the sidelines than coaches like Vince Lombardi and Tom Landry with their suits years ago in the NFL. But looking classy isn’t allowed anymore. The league does not let head coaches wear suits anymore, at least not for the entire season. The last two to do it were Jack Del Rio of the Jaguars and Mike Nolan of the 49ers, but they had to submit a special request and could only wear them for two games. Coaches look cool when they’re dressed formally; what’s wrong with allowing it? High security Why do two police sheriffs surround college football coaches whenever they run around the field? NFL coaches and players are not guarded, but for some reason there is a belief that someone in the stadium is after Bret Bielema’s head. Stop the clock College football games last way too long, at least a half hour longer than NFL games, and it’s because the NCAA still feels the need to stop the clock after first downs to move the chains. The NFL never has problems moving the chains, so why would college? It’s the one reason why NCAA

games last upwards of three and a half hours on a regular basis. Shot clock The 35-second shot clock in the NCAA kills the excitement of games. Teams can pass the ball around for way too long before even thinking about taking a shot. Perhaps moving it down to 24 seconds like the NBA would not be fair, but it should at least be lowered to 30. Timeout Both the NBA and NCAA basketball allow too many timeouts. The NBA allows six, and the NCAA accords five. But each league already allocates five TV timeouts per half, meaning coaches don’t have to use any of those timeouts, so they save them until the end. This means the final minutes of games are stretched into an excruciating amount of time. At both levels teams should have three timeouts and only be allowed to use two in the second half. Low definition Perhaps it’s only in Wisconsin, but for whatever reason the Brewers and Bucks have sporadic high-definition coverage. Too many games are broadcast in standard definition, which, in this age, makes watching sports painful. ESPN also does this with lower-level NCAA basketball games. How much extra can it cost to use HD? Honorable mention: pathetic NBA crowds, women’s basketball scores on BottomLine, lack of a cold-weather Super Bowl and Lisa Stone making more than Mike Eaves. Have any other half-baked sports thoughts? E-mail Scott at

The Daily Cardinal - Wednesday, March 10, 2010  
The Daily Cardinal - Wednesday, March 10, 2010  

The Daily Cardinal - Wednesday, March 10, 2010