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Opinions Editor

Staff Writers



Features Editors SAM PRYOR


Arts & Culture Editors









Etcetera Editors




Scribble Editors Web Editor BRIAN NA GOLDB ERG


EDITORIAL POLICY Serving as the official news magazine of the Francis Parker Upper School, The Scribe strives to report on the major news stories on campus while providing the student body

with a cutting-edge take on campus life and culture. The editorial staff oversees the editing and production aspects of the mag azine. Members of the staff also volunteer a great deal of their after-school and weekend time to work on the magazine. The editor-in-chief assumes all responsibility for the material published in The Scribe. For this reason, any errors or complaints should be reported to the editor-in-chief and not to the authors of particular articles.

Check out The Scribe’s website, with online articles, videos, surveys, old issues, and more at Share with us any questions, comments, or concerns you have about the magazine. Your opinions matter! Email us at Join our Facebook fanpage at to stay updated on everything Scribe-related.


april 2014|THE SCRIBE


OPI NIO NS editor’s note pg. 6 I gbu pg. 7 how millennial are u? pg. 8 I reality check pg. 10 all together now pg. 12


After years of flipping through the pages of magazines only to find unrealistic highly edited pictures that feature models recreated on the computer, popular brands have taken a new approach by featuring everyday people. See the full story on page 10.


t’s not a moment, really, but a steady and accumulated realization: the realization that you are not Ferris Bueller and you can’t take a day off from school to joyride in your best friend’s dad’s Ferrari and dance in a parade to “Twist and Shout.” The life and times of a high schooler, as you’ve been raised to know them are not, in fact, your life and times. And if you’re not Matthew Broderick or Molly Ringwald, then maybe you’re doing high school wrong. This was my fear for a while. I was afraid that my four years of high school would be defined by the absences: no musical numbers, no cruising along the coast in convertibles, no kicking back and looking at the camera and smiling because it doesn’t get any better than this. I couldn’t help but picture the credits rolling as I accepted my diploma, and a little voice whispering, “Wait, that’s it? Nothing even happened.” It’s a conversation I’ve had dozens of times with people at Parker. We’re not anything like the high schools portrayed in the television shows and movies we grew up watching. The gym doesn’t get decked out for “Spring Fling,” there isn’t a marching band at our pep rallies, and there’s no picture perfect freeze frame when the graduating class tosses their caps in the air. I found the whole thing pretty devastating. Where along the lines did I go wrong? Have I wasted all this time? Can I have a do-over? No. I can’t have a do-over. And neither can you. But we don’t need one. There are a whole host of reasons we won’t get to go to a Cubs game with Ferris and friends, besides the fact that this isn’t the Francis Parker in Chicago. For one, there’s a generational gap (“How Millennial Are U?” page 8). No matter how hard we may try, we just won’t be able to recreate the John Hughes days. That’s just not how it works, as evidenced by daily viral videos (“Taking Tonight Into Tomorrow,” page 26) and cutting edge advertisements (“Reality Check,” page 10). But so what? Maybe out Prom isn’t televised nationwide like Danny’s and Sandy’s in Grease, but that shouldn’t keep you from dancing the night away alongside your date (“And the Rose Goes To…,” page 40). The whole town may not rally behind the mighty Lancers à la Friday Night Lights, but that doesn’t mean you can’t cheer the team on from the bleachers (“Lights Out, Knights Out,” page 34). True, it’s impossible to top playing hooky to drive around the city in a sports car, but what’s stopping you from taking a weekend ride along the bay (“They See Me Rollin’,” page 24). And if you’re really craving doing things the old-fashioned way, no one’s stopping you from a night at the drive-in (“Scribe Explores: San Diego Theaters,” page 30). The point is that we shouldn’t get caught up in chasing after nostalgia that isn’t ours to have. We’ve got our own weird kind of wonderful right here. There is no right way to do high school. There’s just your way. Don’t let the haters stop you from doin’ yo thang,



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commending our clubs

backgrounds. Model UN gives students the opportunity to debate or negotiate global issues. At their annual conference they will be representing two countries and discuss topics such as drug trafficking in Colombia, or international gay rights. GSA, or Gay-Straight Alliance, offers a safe space for students, no matter how they identify, and host movie screenings and guest speakers. Next time Clubs Fair comes around, or if you want to spend your free time at lunch getting more involved in the Parker community, check out one of these clubs.

“local self-defense units?” As the indifferent face of this year’s Winter Olympics, Putin’s poker face is only so hard to read. Let’s

It happens all the time at Parker: she heard it from that guy in her chemistry class who swears he heard Mr. Thiebach talking about it on the phone with the Powers That Be. But the gossip about the upcoming schedule change has gotten out of hand. Before every facutly member had even checked their email, information was leaking to the students from every corner of campus. Students didn’t even know what was happening or why, and they were already complaining. Let’s

calm down, Vlad. Do I hear a reconstitution of

the Soviet Union? Or simply some bareback, shirtless horse riding?



GIRL POWER Though Beyoncé was not present, the XX chromosomes definitely ran the world at the Spring Talent Show this year. Though there were a few jaw-dropping performances from the men, girl power dominated the evening. Guys, step up your game. Girls can’t be better than you at everything now.

stop being so cycnical and hear it out. You might

THE BAD When someone mentions Parker clubs, does your mind travel to the classics like Robotics or Academic League? Maybe it goes to the big and booming like RALLYCOMM or Cooking Club? Math Team and Interact sell donuts every day, but what about Model UN, GSA, SPECTRUM, or Mock Trial? Though the four each serve a different purpose on our campus, they are alike in their political and social drive. Mock Trial teaches students from all grades the intricatcies of the judicial system. The team excelled in their first ever competition this past winter. SPECTRUM centers around diversity, connecting people from all different

cri-me-a river

rumor has it be pleasantly surprised.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN As we drag our feet and work ethic to school every morning, the countdown in the library offers a glimpse of hope. The block numbers, located behind the main circulation desk, keep students motivated to finish the year strong, but more importantly, get them ready for summer.


U THE UGLY If you somehow didn’t know, Russian President Vladimir Putin has occupied and annexed Crimea in hopes of absorbing the peninsula. Slow down there, partner. You’re grouping essentially all Russian tanks and troops right on the Crimean borders for military exercises? And your soldiers inside the peninsula are actually Crimean

Okay, so maybe it ended on a dramatic note and perhaps the Survivor theme rang a little too true. Regardless, the enthusiasm of the student body and the hard work of ASB shone through. Although we’re not entirely sure the smell of mayonnaise and pigs’ feet has faded from the Field House.

PROM ON FRIDAY The closer we get to the most important social event of the year, the more conversations heard in the hallways about the chosen day of prom: a Friday. Ditch day gives seniors plenty of time to primp and pamper for their last dance. Juniors, you have exactly 210 minutes for hair, nails, shoes, and sports practice. May the odds be ever in your favor.

IMAGES OF THE WORLD What could have been an inspiring presentation about a foreign culture fell way short of expectations. If you didn’t already visit Beijing in middle school, you’ve learned Chinese history one of the four times it’s taught at Parker. The borderline racism and cultural objectification left many feeling confused about the disjointed message. Follow your dreams

by taking pictures on a bicycle trip through China?



The lack of commitment to completing art projects is unacceptable. If you use up materials starting a project, don’t ditch it. Help Mr. Cheskaty empty out the woodshop’s room of forgotten art. Go finish your projects. fpsthescri


dence of narcissistic personality disorder is on the rise. In 2009, researchers at the National Institute of Health found that 58 percent of college students scored significantly higher on a narcissism scale than a similar focus group from 1982. To some extent, we get to blame our parents for this phenomenon. We were brought up in an era in which the fashionable parenting style urged constant and relentless nurturing of children’s self-esteem. Nowhere do you see this more than at Parker, where each Whole Foodssustained child can say, “I’m a unique snowflake,” in Mandarin Chinese by the end of kindergarten. “Children absolutely need to feel valued, accepted and loved, and this will lead to high self-esteem,” said Duke University Psychology Professor Dr. Mark Leary to the Wall Street Journal in 2013. “But it can also be good for kids to feel bad about themselves temporarily, if they behave in selfish, mean or hurtful ways that might damage their ability to sustain relationships or hold a job in the future.” It’s hard for parents to swallow the idea that they’ve over-loved us into a vaguely sociopathic narcissism. Instead they do what elders have done since the youth first toyed with fire and the wheel: they point fingers at the influence of technology. Scott Hess is vice president of SparkSMG, a Chicago-based consulting firm that helps corporations market themselves to millennials. He also cites the emergence of media-sharing technology, instead of any inherent generational flaw, with this new tendency towards self-inflation. “Can you imagine how many Instagrams of people playing in the mud during Woodstock we would’ve seen?” he says. “I think in many ways, we’re blaming millennials for the technology that happens to exist right now.” It’s easy to poke fun at today’s mediasaturated youth. I’ll laugh as much as the next kid watching socially awkward freshmen try to sustain entire romantic relationships over Snapchat and But jokingly dismissing millennials’ relationship with technology, or condemning it as dangerous, overshadows the tangible advantage that it gives us.

Parker sophomore Jack Dodge has been making YouTube videos since June 2012. He’s one of the emerging faces of new media—a teenager paid by YouTube to give his 10,500 subscribers four-minute glimpses into his life. “Some adults do think it is dangerous by broadcasting myself,” he says. “But it’s what I love to do and I’m cautious, so I don’t pay much attention to it.” Dodge has achieved what marketing teams and PR gurus have been lusting after since the birth of the Internet age: an online audience that has become invested in a product. In Dodge’s case, of course, the product is himself. And whether or not you’ve realized it, if you’re a millennial, you’ve probably perfected this same exercise of selfpromotion; we all embellish the way we project ourselves online. This potential for using technology as a platform is a reserve that really only millennials can tap into. In an twist of irony, the time you’ve spent antagonizing peers in petty Twitter wars puts you in an optimal position to run online canvassing for the senator’s campaign you’ll intern for this summer. And this relentless exposure to ideas and perspectives has desensitized you to the differences that plague your constituency—the Internet has shaped the most diversity-positive generation yet. 17-year-old fashion blogger Tavi Gevinson founded RookieMag from her bedroom in 2010. The online magazine covers topics as diverse as spring break playlists to “Is polyamory for you?” advice guides targeted towards millennials. “There are many, many subcultures, and you can dip into them and search around,” said Gevinson to Time Magazine. “I prefer that to you’re either supermainstream or a riot grrrl.” This distaste of the “mainstream” has resulted in an incredibly tolerant generation. Think the social solidarity of the TV show Glee versus the cliques in ’80s classics like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. This extends past an unprecedented support for interracial relationships (nine in ten millennials are in favor) or marriage equality (eight in ten), it’s a culture of giving back that’s new to this generation. When asked what unique positive traits millennials bring to his company, Blumberg said that the most prevalent one is this tendency towards service.

“Many of our community service efforts are led and initiated by some of our youngest employees,” he wrote via email. Maybe it’s idealistic, but millennials entering the workforce want to engage in meaningful initiatives that don’t just make white, rich guys richer. So if millennials are more educated, more techsavvy, and disproportionately more far-reaching than our parents’ generation, why are our postgraduate peers viewed with such disdain? Millennials are coming of age in a harsher economic climate than our parents did. There are fewer jobs, and those lucky enough to get them have to settle for less of the healthcare and retirement benefits that ensured our parents the stability of a middle-class lifestyle. Professional advantage is undeniably restricted to the privileged few who can afford to work unpaid internships after college. Student debt is a significantly greater burden now than it was for Generation X—at one trillion dollars, total outstanding college loan debt now exceeds figures for American credit card debt for the first time in history. We are at the tail end of the generation that matured during the great recession, 9/11 terrorist attacks, and the two longest wars in United States history. Yet research shows that we are unfailingly optimistic about our chances of personal success—to the point that our entire generation has been stereotyped as unrealistic and entitled. But how would they prefer us to respond? By writing angsty spoken-word poems and drowning our sorrows in craft beer? Parker’s mission statement promises to instill in us a “strength of character to prepare [students] to make a meaningful difference in the world.” At the very core of our education is this mantra of entitlement, selling a $27,000 recipe for selfesteem and empowerment. Are Parker kids entitled? Undeniably. We grade grub, we cut corners, and we whine if we aren’t recognized at the honors assembly. But Parker kids also happen to be incredibly tolerant, empathetic, and driven—essentially a microcosm of all that’s good and bad about the millennial generation. I’m ready to break past the negative stereotypes that marketers and researchers insist are common to our generation. But first, let me take a selfie.



april 2014|THE SCRIBE



CREATING A NEW VISION OF BEAUTY n New York, people walking by the American Apparel store stopped to take a second look at the new window display. The storefront’s spring display of lingerie took a fresh approach to featuring women: mannequins au natural. Instead of the nondescript woman’s form, the windows were filled with mannequins with patches of hair that caused passersby to question why society has set such strange standards of beauty. American Apparel is no stranger to controversy and has created such displays to spark curiosity and conversation about what society deems beautiful today. But in 2014, companies have stepped out of their comfort zones and are beginning to make a statement. The fashion industry has made major steps towards creating for and marketing to real people. The day has finally arrived when a reader can flip through a magazines and find models that look real. Finally, street chic is in Vogue, and individuality is being celebrated. “I really like advertisements that let me take something away from them, instead of just ‘Eat Doritos because supermodels do’, says sophomore Hadley DeBello. “If I can laugh or learn something about the world that I didn’t know before, I appreciate that.”

In 2004, Dove, a brand of personal care products, began their Campaign for Real Beauty in an attempt “to challenge beauty stereotypes and invite women to join a discussion about beauty” (Dove. us). The campaign began gaining ground in 2006 when Stephanie Betts, an animation artist, starred in a YouTube video that displayed the transformation process that takes place for each and every model that enters the studio. “Although it has always been a known fact that photoshopping takes place, it wasn’t until Campaign for Real Beauty’s video was published that I realized just how skewed the public’s vision of beauty really is,” says senior Ali Bloom. Since then, Dove has continued to produce videos with a similar theme, to reveal the public’s unnatural idea of beauty. Unfortunately, during the launch of Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty in 2004, the production of Dove’s short film Evolution in 2006, and even during Dove’s launch of its Movement for Self-Esteem in 2010, other companies were still not ready to grasp the concept. Even at the end of 2013 when Stuart Weitzman produced its video of Kate Moss, she had a body double.

“I am for using photoshop in advertisements because it enhances the image and makes people want to aspire to be like the person in the advertisement, but people have to remember that’s not how models actually look,” says junior Jay Tibbitts. In February 2014, Aerie, an American clothing and accessories retailer, produced a new advertisement campaign, “Aerie Real,” featuring women of all bra sizes, completely untouched. It was Aerie’s goal to help shoppers see what the clothing might look like on them, even if they don’t look like lingerie models. The time has come for the media to be accepting of the way people truly are. In a way, we’re moving backward; Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot, two women considered to be sex symbols of the 1950s and 1960s, did not have thigh gaps or chest bones that could be seen from a mile away. This is what we’re going back to, the women that were considered beautiful 50 or 60 years ago. Women that were beautiful, not because they were pho toshopped, but because they were real women with real curves. Some have decided to push the boundaries of the modern ad vertising idea even further. With new attitudes changing rapidly about LGBT lifestyles, especially among millennials, more and more retailers are featuring LGBT people in their ad campaigns. On February 21, 2014, Banana Republic released a new advertis ing campaign for their spring col lection. In an attempt to stand out amongst the crowd of apparel com panies, Banana Republic aspired to feature real couples doing everyday things in common settings. In an effort to embrace diversity, they included a gay couple in their ads, interior designer Nate Berkus and his fiancé Jeremiah Brent. A same-sex male couple ap peared in a commercial for Co

ca-Cola on February 2, during Su per Bowl XLVIII, and reappeared in a longer version that was shown five days later during the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics. Two commercials for Chevro let that also made their debuts during the opening ceremony cel ebrated “The New Us” by offering a

“ video clip of the Cape Cod wedding of two men along with glimpses of gay or lesbian families headed by two mothers or two fathers. Will people turn away from products that feature gay couples in their advertisements? “People are always put off by what’s different,” Tibbitts says. “But it goes both ways. And after years of showing just the same thing, it is time to show something different.” Finally, the media has begun to accept people just the way they are. However, there are still many types of people being left out. Older men and women are mostly found in advertisements for anti-aging skin care creams or medications, and plus size models are almost never featured in magazines. Each company’s goal is to display their product in the most positive light, but in turn, our image of beauty has been sacrificed in order to sell a product. However, a new age of advertisement has begun, in which men and women are much closer to the everyday people we see walking down the street.

I really like advertisements that let me take something away from

them, instead of just ‘Eat Doritos because supermodels do’. If I can laugh or learn something about the world that I didn’t know before, I appreciate that.” — H a d l e y D e B e ll o



beyond. Holding up an


index card, Dr. Jones






pprehension diffused through the crowd as asked the group what





60 Parker students sat in a small conference room “White,”



awaiting the opening remarks of Dr. Steven Jones, Twice more, he asked us CEO of life coaching company Jones & Associates. Dr. the same question, and Jones, known as one of “America’s Top Experts on we



Diversity,” was asked to speak to this group of Then, he asked us,“What students, myself included, about the importance of do cows drink?” and the diversity and inclusivity at a high school level and

confidence, as we quickly realized that cows actually drink water, and explained that this was an example of the power of association. Being an elite private school, the balance of socioeconomic diversity at Parker tends to tip towards the wealthier side. As hard as it is to admit, most of our students are well-off and white, which means that the cultures and backgrounds we interact with are skewed to one side. This changes our perception of what is considered “normal,” since the majority of the students are of a certain background, and that affects our lives and the Parker community more than one might think. Every few years, Parker must undergo an accreditation process which verifies whether or not it is a suitable learning environment to stand as a private school. While the school always passes in academics, for the past 25 years it has been recommended that it work on its diversity and inclusivity. This year,

Parker decided to take this recommendation more urgently and implemented it into a day-long retreat of sorts called “Diversity Day.” At this retreat, we discussed competency and ignorance at Parker regarding diversity and inclusivity and students’ personal experiences with the issues through both group activities and one-onof SPECTRUM (Supporting Parker Education Community Tolerance Respect Understanding and Meaning). “I know AfricanAmerican students sometimes feel that way. One Latino young woman felt like people made jokes about Mexico. And I know I’ve had Asian students feel like everyone just thinks [they’re] good at math and do Kung Fu automatically. Stuff like that we call paper cuts. It’s not like ‘you’re destroying my soul,’ but it still hurts.” It comes down to a personal choice as a student at Parker and as a person to watch what we say. People are more likely to succeed if they are comfortable with themselves and the environment that they are in, yet this cannot be possible if students feel like they’re being dismissed simply because of their backgrounds. Even bringing up a stereotype, which seems harmless, can make a person feel like they should be something that they aren’t. What some people don’t realize is that a sufficient amount of “paper cuts” can accumulate to a large and lasting wound. Students should pay close attention to the repercussions of their words, since the consequences could be severe. Though I believe Diversity Day was a success, it was a success on a small scale. It takes a large group of people to implement acceptance, and while the retreat did open our eyes, it did not reach the entire student body. “They were specifically targeting people who were already from different backgrounds,” says senior Beth Desta, president of the Gay-Straight Alliance at Parker and another attendee of Diversity Day. “A lot of the people who were there were considered diverse and are already sensitive to these kinds of issues because they’ve grown up in regards to what they look like, what


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their sexual orientation is based on their gender or sex, and they didn’t really need help with that.” If Parker intends to continue pursuing the issue of diversity and inclusion, discussions like these should reach all students and faculty members. Yes, it made a difference in a few people’s minds, but the pressure was put on these select students to take what they learned and spread it through the whole school. If this process is to be embraced, it should be embraced by the entire community. An important element of Dr. Jones’s presentation was its approachability. He utilized puzzle-like visual aids that first made us think and then allowed us to discuss with our peers. This way we worked on a personal level, as well as in a group dynamic, which is important when trying to include the entire student body. Another component of the program was how we were split up from people we usually associate with. This made

it easier to stay on task and actually speak our minds without feeling judged by our friends. The best way to incorporate this into the entire Parker community is through a series of workshops using the same type of visuals and set up as Dr. Jones. Once a month, we could use the time devoted to advisory lunch to look at slides like Dr. Jones’s that would spark a discussion. It could also be incorporated in the freshman Life Skills class, much like speech is. Keeping it in a small class makes it easier to put personal views out, and the opinions of our peers is what helps us grow. “There’s so much leadership and so much passion and insight among our student body,” Dr. Wilson says. “It’s just a matter of how to tap into that and direct it in the right ways, and then we can become better than we already are.”


FEATURES who run the world? pg. 14 it’s not easy being green pg. 16 I not worth the weight pg. 20

PHOTOGRAPH BY SAM PRYOR Sophomore Alyssa Vallese, a member of Parker’s Robotics Team, working on their 2014 robot, Odin. Odin is programmed to throw excercise balls, and won the Las Vegas regional competition earlier this month See page 14 to read more about girls in STEM.


ophomore Alyssa Vallese, an aspiring engineer and active member of the Parker robotics team,



started out a bit skeptical in pursuing a male-dominated field. “I think that throughout elementary and middle school, girls are taught that they should like Barbies, and when you go to the store, you see the girls’ section and the boys’ section,” Vallese says. RUN “There’s just a culture in America.” Throughout primary and secondary education, girls and boys take roughly the same number of science and math classes. However, in many cases, boys tend to challenge themselves more in the sciences than girls, taking classes such as AP Physics C or Multivariate Calculus. THE

“Physics C is still very much a male-dominated [class], for whatever reason,” physics teacher Dr. JP Pierce says. With fewer girls enrolled in advanced math and science courses, their SAT scores have been relatively lower than boys’ test results. In 2013, College Board’s SAT results revealed that females across the nation WORLD? averaged a 499 out of 800 in the math section, whereas the males averaged a 531. Furthermore, a 2014 National Math and Science Initiative study found that HOW WOMEN ARE although women make up 48 percent of the general workforce, only 23 percent OVERCOMING THE GENDER of these women are science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) workers. GAP IN STEM FIELDS Although there is still a gap, some fields are reaching a gender balance more than others. ARTICLE BY ALLIE GOINES



Gender equality in the biol-sight as to why young women tend ogy and chemistry fields is a lot to shy away from STEM fields. more prominent than that in the “In high school, the way peo-

Only one in every seven

engineering fields. ple, especially girls, are perceived engineers is female.” “Its definitely harder to say, by other people plays a huge part,” ‘I do engineering,’ than, ‘I do writing,’ but once you get into it, I think all the people I’ve met so far have been really encouraging,” Vallese says. According to a 2011 report by the U.S. Department of Commerce, only one in every seven engineers is female. So, why aren’t women as involved in STEM careers as men? THE ROOTS OF THE ISSUE Psychology plays a major role in why women are less eager to pursue careers in STEM than men are. Negative stereotypes about women in mathematics and science fields persists today, despite their advancements and performance over the last few decades. Females have less confidence in themselves, even at an early age, and the stereotype that males are more suitable than females for STEM careers only adds to the negativity toward the field. Melody Rahawi graduated from San Diego State University in 2013, with a Bachelor’s degree in Science in Cellular and Molecular Biology, a field many continue to stereotype as male-dominated. Rahawi’s experiences in microbiology, neuroscience, and stem biology have given her exposure to issues in the field, a challenge which she believes has been improving, but still has a ways to go. “I think the gender gap in the STEM field can be attributed to how we raise our children,” Ra hawi says. “From a stereotypical perspective, boys learn how to put together train sets or model cars while girls tend to play with dolls and tea sets.” The fact that girls are not as involved in STEM fields as men makes them feel like outsiders. “Anytime you are entering into a room full of people where you’re in the minority, where [there is] only one [gender or race] there, you get a sense of not belonging,” Pierce says. As an active member of the Francis Parker Robotics team, freshman Olia Javidi has gained in-Javidi says. “They want to fit in socially, so they don’t want to take part and become associated with things that aren’t typically seen as cool.” THE EFFECTS The desire to fit in contributes to the lack of female participation in STEM fields throughout high school, and beyond. The social stigma attached to sciences tends to affect young girls and women as they narrow down their career and college options. “Unfortunately, as a society, even though we as women have made great strides it seems to me that there is still more of an expectation on us to take care of children and families than on men,” chemistry teacher Dr. Hima Joshi says. “Because science has been a traditionally male-dominated field, and still is at some levels, I think a lot of women aren’t feeling supported, and they’re worried about being judged.” The long hours and demanding tasks that the STEM field entail are yet another challenge that can make it difficult for women to balance their home and work life. “On the homefront, I think that in a lot of families when both the mom and dad are working, it’s still the mom who’s doing the cooking and cleaning and child rearing,” Joshi says. “Trying to balance that with a high-power scientific job can be tough.” THE ROLE OF THE MEDIA Even some popular television shows, such as The Big Bang Theory, portray women involved with STEM as nerds, and other, non-STEM characters as more dedicated to their social lives and outward appearances.

The media tends to portray the idea that the sciences are geared more toward men, and as children often use the media and television as role models for their own behavior, the lack of prominent female science figures creates a gender gap that is enhanced as they grow older. PARKER’S SOLUTION Despite the intimidation and challenges women in STEM careers face, the gender gap has become significantly smaller than it once was. This is due in part to the increasing number of programs and courses designed to promote the STEM fields to young women and girls. One such program being implemented at Parker is the Strategic Plan. It’s goal is to design a Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, and Math, or STEAM, program which will provide students grades K-12 with an opportunity to learn and use knowledge centered around the STEAM themes in content area courses on self centered projects. “The opportunities here at Parker offer equal opportunities to [both males and females] represented in the program,” says Head of Upper School Mr. Paul Barsky, one of the creators of the Strategic Plan. “There are opportunities for girls and for young women to find their voice and be successful in the sciences.” Parker’s role in the education of young women in STEM fields is why many more girls take STEM related courses and activities in the Parker Upper School. The opportunities and resources available to girls at school provide a wide range of options for career paths. The emphasis on equality in programs such as Robotics exhibits women’s growing interest and number in STEM fields. A BRIGHTER FUTURE Parker is not alone in making an effort to highlight the importance of women entering the STEM fields. Programs across the county, such at San Diego Science Alliance (SDSA) and Better Education for Women in Science and Engineering (BE WiSE), are geared toward helping young students, females inparticular, gain an interest and knowledge in the fields of STEM. BE WiSE, founded in 2003, is a program which accepts an average of 40 girls in seventh and eighth grade and exposes them to the world of science and engineering. BE WiSE alumni in high school are given special access to events and conferences around San Diego, surrounding topics involved with science and engineering. It gives young women an opportunity to delve into the world of STEM, helping them gain confidence and knowledge. Programs like BE WiSE have helped improve the number of women entering into STEM fields in colleges, and helped decrease the gender gap of men and women involved in STEM careers. Although girls and young women are not as involved in STEM as men are, this increasing awareness gives women an even stronger voice in science. “I think we’ve come a long way [since] past years,” says Vallese. “But there is definitely still a girl to guy gap.”


ou can’t manage what you don’t measure,” says Mr. Michael Cain, Parker’s new director of risk and asset management. Since January 2014, he has overseen the safety, security, sustainability, and capital projects (those amounting to $2,500 or greater) on both of Parker’s campuses. With a background in green startups, Cain is confident in his ability to help further the school’s commitment to protecting the environment. “Parker has already been doing a lot of great things,” he says, “but there’s still areas where we could improve. My job is to be that person who figures out what it is we’re doing well, and what we need to do better.” Cain will be taking some of the duties that were formerly the responsibility of Manager of Business Operations Ms. Erin Aiston. Aiston is “excited and relieved” to have someone to help alleviate her workload, and shares Cain’s optimism for Parker’s green initiative. 16 april 2014|THE SCRIBE

WHERE WE ARE NOW Overall, Parker is certainly more green than most other institutions of its size. Energy Star, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency program that helps businesses become more environmentally friendly, has a tool online that allows business to rank their progress against other organizations of similar size and type. Using this program Cain calculated the average amount of energy used per square foot per month on both campuses, measured in kili British Thermal Units per square foot. While both campuses used less energy than the national K-12 school median of 123 kBtu/ft2, the Mission Hills campus was surprisingly less efficient than the Linda Vista one, despite being significantly smaller in size and student population. Energy Star also uses this data to award each location a score out of 100. The Linda Vista campus, with a score of 94, performed better than Mission Hills, which scored 87. Cain has set a goal for both campuses to score within the top five percent of schools in the next several years. Together he and Aiston have created a multi-phase plan that would, in theory, put the school on track to meet this ambitious target. The first phase encompasses them collecting “baseline data,” specific figures relating to how much energy is being used, how much the usage is costing, and what can be done to reduce both use and cost. This has been the focus of much of Cain’s time since assuming his new role on the Parker campus. See pages 16-17 for his findings on Parker’s resource use. Cain and Aiston found the three biggest energy wasters to be the Mission Hills campus, the Upper School athletic facilities, and Upper School the cafeteria. Once these were identified, the two formulated an “action plan,” complete with specific steps to reduce energy consumption in each location. MISSION HILLS CAMPUS On the Mission Hills campus, this will be achieved primarily by upgrading the facilities to use newer, more energy-efficient technical systems. As the framework for the buildings was originally constructed decades ago, the 36,000 square-foot campus does utilize energy-savers like automated timed lighting or strategically placed windows to promote airflow, both present on the Linda Vista campus. Plans for such upgrades are currently being drawn up. ATHLETIC FACILITIES The Parker Upper School athletic facilities are problematic because of their high electricity use. Not only are lights left on late around the field and in the athletic offices every night, but they often remain on over the weekend as well as when Parker rents out its facilities. The current plan involves replacing the field’s 75-Watt halogen light bulbs, with newer systems that are more environmentally friendly and would save about $75 a month. Details about the specific upgrades are still being negotiated. CAFETERIA Much of the sustainability-related changes coming to Parker will be reflected in the cafeteria and food service. In 2013 alone, there were 23.81 tons of food waste collected from the Parker Café, nearly the weight of two large school buses. Since Culinart took over the cafeteria service at the beginning of the 2013-2014 school year, many efforts have already been made to help make the Parker Café more sustainable. With the implementation of composting, all food waste from students and leftover perishable items are turned into fertilizer instead of left to decompose in the Miramar Landfill. Any leftover food that is not perishable is donated to the San Diego Food Bank, which comes every Friday and collects, on average, somewhere between 100-150 pounds worth of starches and other nonperishables. Head of Food-service Mr. José Santiago is proud of this program, though he does acknowledge that Parker could do more to give back. “We could have the Food Dank come twice a week instead of once a week and probably donate more,” he says, “but obviously we FE Parker has already been doing a lot of great things, but “there’s still areas where we could improve.”

—Mr. Michael Cain don’t want to give them mushy vegetables or anything that’s not fresh.” Culinart has also furthered the school’s commitment to using reusable goods; Santiago says that about 90 percent of the disposable items used in the cafeteria are recyclable or biodegradable. Cain, Aiston, and Santiago are also hoping to form a “green team” consisting of both students and faculty members. The team would orchestrate student-led recycling endeavors, helping plan everything from education campaigns to energy-saving activities. Santiago and Culinart are also making efforts to join the sustainable food movement and use more local products. While most of the cafeteria’s meats come from the San Diego area, much of the produce and paper goods have to be shipped in from Orange County. Not only does this mean that the product isn’t as fresh, but additional energy is also being spent in the transportation of the food. Culinart’s caterer, Sysco, is the largest in the country. The company is in the process of expanding locations, with a possibility of a warehouse being built closer to San Diego. Santiago is very much in favor of this, “so my food isn’t sitting in a truck for five hours driving from [Los Angeles] down here,” he says. One upcoming cafeteria change involves upgrading the kitchen facilities, specifically the dishwasher. The current unit dates back to the 1970s, and has to run 35 times a day to accommodate all the plates and utensils, using about 2,640 gallons of water per month. A newer, larger dishwasher will be able to wash more in fewer loads, thus saving water and energy. The biggest change, however, will come in the reconfiguration of the to-go lunch system. While the ability to bring food outside of the cafeteria in disposable containers afforded students the freedom to be productive while still eating during lunchtime, it also let to a massive increase in waste—nearly 1,000 to-go containers per week. “We’d have students taking a to-go box and then eating it at the regular lunch tables,” says Santiago, “or sometimes even we’d see full containers end up in the trash. That definitely has to stop.” The new plan, set to be implemented at the beginning of the 2014-2015 school year, would replace the plastic to-go containers with reusable ones. Pickup carts could be stationed across campus, and each container would be washed by cafeteria staff and reused. While this would result in a minor increase in water use, the amount of plastic it would save from the landfill far outweighs any drawbacks. TECHNOLOGY In addition to the cafeteria’s efforts to cut down on waste, Parker’s technology team is working to make the school more eco-friendly. Every day, over 800 pages are printed or copied and about 250 kilo-Watt hours of electricity is used on the Linda Vista campus alone. The average American household uses only 33 kiloWatt hours per day. According to Mr. Lyford Rome, Parker’s Educational Technologist, this problem can be minimized by transitioning to an entirely digital workflow. This began with the implementation of iPads into the freshman class, which cuts down on paper use. The administrations hopes to continue incorporating electronic curriculum into the different grades, until nearly all class materials can be found online. “Print is always a huge problem,” he says. “The more that we can move away from consumable 17


17,723 $13,000 5,620 $4,000 24,227 $17,000

items like toner or paper, the better. It’s not just that they’re bad, but the disposal of these adds to the overall energy usage as well.” But the computers and tablets themselves are also part of the problem. In addition to continuing their involvement in USD’s eWaste recycling program, this year the technology department took a large step towards decreasing energy use by consolidating their servers from around 40 to only 15. Computer servers are one of the largest energy consumers, as they are always on and running and require special fans and air conditioning to prevent overheating. Director of Technology Mr. Quoc Vo estimates that by shrinking the total number of servers, Parker has saved about $10,000 a year. Still, the server change did nothing about all the desktop computers spread throughout the campus that remain on nearly 24/7. Every computer that gets put to sleep uses almost half as much energy as one that remains on. But even a simple software reconfiguration to dim their screens or put them in hibernation mode can prove difficult, as Technological Systems Analyst Mr. Shane Schaetz explains. “People wouldn’t like it if they went back to their desk and their computer

were off, or if it took too long to wake it back up,” Schaetz says. “There’s a balance between usability and actually cutting power.” One idea proposed by Cain and Aiston would be to do just that—cut off power—for a day, and see the effect in energy consumption. This “negawatt” day as it would be called would require students not only to turn off all nonessential electronics, but unplug them as well. This would cut down on the so-called “vampire” power waste that occurs from electronics that are off but still plugged in. Rome, however, is not entirely sure that would be the best way to cut down on energy waste. With the transition to mainly personal electronic devices like laptops, tablets, and cell phones, the majority of electronics that are still plugged in are what he calls “community assets,” things like shared printers or computers that many people rely on. “I’d be really nervous if we just started unplugging things,” he says, “because it’d be kind of like turning off the traffic lights to save energy. Somebody else might be expecting those to be on later.”

LOOKING FORWARD While all the small fixes planned will help to make Parker a more environmentally-friendly school, they can only achieve so much. So long as Parker remains dependent upon San Diego Gas and Electric for

electricity, it will never be truly self-sufficient and sustainable. Parker is thus researching different ways to utilize renewable energy. “The ultimate goal has always been to become entirely energy independent,” Cain says, “and that means going to solar.” Fortunately for Parker’s pocketbook, the architects of the Linda Vista campus took into account the possibility of utilizing solar power when designing the space and constructed the buildings to be ready and wired for photovoltaic energy. The science buildings on the Linda Vista campus are thus considered “turnkey solar,” meaning all that’s required would be to attach solar panels to the roofs, plug them in, and “turn the key.” While this would certainly be a costly endeavor, Cain estimates that the investment would be recovered within 16-17 years. Despite everything school administrators are doing to establish environmentally conscious policies, much of the burden lies with the students. Turning off lights, conserving water, not wasting food, and “thinking before you print,” as Rome recommends, are all easy things that students can do to make Parker more green. “It just depends on everybody,” Santiago says. “One person might forget something one day, but if someone else sees and helps, they can make a big difference.”



“Waking up in the morning and telling myself that I will try to get better is the hardest part of my recovery and I don’t think it will ever end,” Amanda says. “If you want to start recovering, you have to be able to forgive yourself first.” High school is a time for development in teenagers. It’s a time when the majority of students begin to realize what they are good at and that means a heightened sense of competition. “During the teenage years, there is so much emphasis on appearance and perceptions of how other people see you,” Besinger says. “I think this puts a lot of pressure on students to fit those societal standards of appearance.” Even though the student population at Parker is small, competition is not limited, but rather, more focused. Aside from academic and athletic competition, there is also an intense amount of popularity and appearance competition on campus. “Even the school uniforms have an impact on the obsession with appear ance,” Besinger says. “Some of those skorts are short, and it’s hard to wear them if you’re not thin. I think that adds to the pressure that is put on high school girls.” Recently, a new program that educates students on the harmful effects of body image issues, has been formed on campus. The Embracers program was founded by three Parker students to help spread awareness of body image issues on campus. “Nobody talks about it, nobody addresses it as a problem, but we thought it was time to make a change,” says sophomore Lauren Clark, a co-founder of the program. “I’ve been able to reach out to a lot of people struggling with body issues through Embracers and I’ve noticed how much of a bigger deal [eating disorders] are than I had thought. I didn’t realize so many people are affected by [eating disorders].” Education on the subject will enable students to help reach out to others who are struggling with related issues. However, body image issues and eating disorders are not only seen among teenage girls. According to Cynthia Bulik Ph.D, eating disorders are not only an issue for teens but are also becoming more prevalent in prepubescent children. “I see the beginnings of body and eating issues in middle school,” Besinger says. “It’s not like they are only introduced in high school.” In fact, 42 percent of first through third grade girls want to be thinner and 81 percent of ten year-old girls are afraid of being fat. This shows that symptoms of eating disorders begin to infest the mind in the very early stages of development, giving the eating disorder that much more of an impact. Eating disorders have been associated with females for many years. It is more uncommon to consider that eating disorders can also affect the male population, but men are just as susceptible to eating disorders as women are. In fact, eating disorders can affect men even more than women because men are less likely to seek treatment if they’re under the impression that it is a woman’s disease. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, an estimated 10-15 percent of people with anorexia or bulimia are male. “A lot of people, especially guys, make fun of the idea that boys can also have eating disorders, but it is way more common than anyone would think,” Amanda says. “Girls struggling with eating disorders seems typical but the fact that guys struggle too has been overlooked and as a result has been deemed as less significant.” A person does not choose to have an eating disorder. Obsession with diet and a distorted perception of the perfect body is not limited to demographic. It is common for people to want to diet to lose a few pounds, but only to a certain extent. “Many people see advertisements for dieting and reaching a goal weight, but I’d say there isn’t really a goal weight,” Amanda says. “When people lose weight they think, ‘if I can lose that amount, I can lose this much and then this much’ until that goal weight is zero, until it’s really nothing.” Most people suffering from an eating disorder such as anorexia do not know that they are struggling, but instead think that they are being healthy by losing weight. Eventually, the mind is brainwashed into thinking that this is natural. “There is this mindset associated with having an eating disorder like anorexia that every time you eat it’s a failure and it takes over your life,” Amanda says.


ARTS&CULTURE they see me rollin’ pg. 24 I taking tonight into tomorrow pg. 26 what the truck? pg. 27 I leave room for dessert pg. 29 scribe explores: san diego theaters pg. 30 hot / not / trendy pg. 32 PHOTOGRAPH BY PATRICK RILEY

Enjoy the view from Cabrillo National Monument. This historic landmark is home to bike paths, hiking trails and scenic ocean views. See page 24 for more trails to ride on.


CABRILLO NATIONAL MONUMENT 7 MILES IDEAL TIME: BEFORE THE TIDE POOLS CLOSE AT 5PM DIFFICULTY: MODERATE Beginning at the end of the Ocean Beach trail, this path is a bit more demanding. It’s sweatinducing trek with a similar end result: exhausting fun. Be careful of street traffic—this ride has no distinctly paved cycling route—as you make your way through OB, down Sunset Cliffs, and eventually onto Catalina Boulevard. From there it is a straight shot to the southernmost tip of Point Loma, where we highly recommend paying the $3 entry fee for While Parker celebrated its centennial year with galas and streamers, Cabrillo’s planned ceremony was cancelled due to the government shutdown, and celebrations were postponed until 2014. Reserved in 1913 by President Calvin Coolidge, the land lay in reserve until the end of the second world

bikers. Beautiful views of downtown and stunning vistas along the coastal tide pools will provide a breezy break before turning back.

TECOLOTE CANYONS 6.5 MILES IDEAL TIME: EARLY MORNING TO AVOID THE HEAT DIFFICULTY: MODERATE If you’re looking for a little less sand and a lot more dirt, take your bike down to Tecolote Canyon for a short, but rewarding adventure. No longer reserved for the Parker cross country team, Tecolote offers bikers the chance to see a San Diego untouched by the hand of colonialism. The canyons extend for miles, beginning in Linda Vista, and connecting to Clairemont, through a series of dusty, rustic paths filled with brush and the occasional pond. war. Home to a variety of wildlife, including, rattlesnakes and mountain lions, enjoy a glimpse of Southern California’s natural beauty. If you are interested in a more intense off-roading experience, speak to some of Parker’s very own faculty members—Mr. Dave



SILVER STRAND 9.54 MILES IDEAL TIME: LATE MORNING DIFFICULTY: MODERATE TO HARD They say life isn’t like the movies, but cruising along the Silver Strand at 15 miles per hour, we find it hard to agree. Take in the scenic beauty of southern California from the city of Coronado and bring your road bike to fully enjoy the well-maintained path, free from sand and large debris. Change your direction to change your trip. One way will guarantee a difficult ride against the wind, perfect for those who want a challenge. The reverse results in a tranquil jaunt alongside one of the city’s greatest treasures, the San Diego Bay. Johnson, Dr. JP Pierce, and Mr. John Hulsey— about their mountain biking expertise. Biking along the Silver Strand is an exploration of Coronado’s unique culture. The trail passes by the Coronado City Hall, the Naval Base and miles of marvelous bay.


s the camera pans, zooming out from an eccentric New York audience and a cozy ’70s-styled set, the blue satin curtain is lifted—paying homage to the Johnny Carson days. A suit-clad man with his signature earnest smile makes his way to the “x” marked on the linoleum and the clapping fades as the first one liner of his Tonight Show era is delivered. On his first airing, Jimmy Fallon teared up. “I just want to do the best I can,” he said. “And take care of the show for a while.” Fallon has begun a journey from Late Night to the primetime duties The Tonight Show must fulfill and has fulfilled since 1954. His debut evening on February 17 as host of The Tonight Show on NBC had 11 million viewers, while Jay Leno’s sign-off gathered more than 14 million. The passing of the torch from Leno to Fallon seemed pretty abrupt, but it was a well-researched and thought-out decision. A substantial part of the decision was based on the The New York Times statistic showing the average watcher for Leno to be roughly 57, greatly dating the show and its content. As writer Bill Carter pointed out in his Times article from mid-February, “to remain an essential part of American culture, ‘Tonight’ required a generational change at some point, adjusting the focus from baby boomers to their millennial kids.” Sophomore Athena Malcolm agrees. “I’ve watched Jay Leno, and I like Jimmy Fallon because he’s more of a breath of fresh air, considering Leno’s pretty old,” she says. “Fallon relates to younger people and draws a more diverse audience.” His web presence is immense, making Tonight Show segments show up most often on shared Facebook statuses and popular YouTube videos of the week. The transition to social media bases has been occuring for several years now, and Fallon has certainly welcomed this change. Parker English teacher and Improv Team adviser Mr. Jared D’Onofrio argues that the switch was underwhelming. “[Fallon’s] whole performance is better suited to Late Night,” he says. “If your whole viewing base is based on either DVR or later online viewing, than it makes more sense to be on at 12:30 than to be on at 11:30, when old people have just finished watching the evening news and they’d like to stay up and see something funny. He isn’t really geared towards that.” But Fallon still has talents that Tonight hasn’t seen before. “He’s more of an all-around performer,” former stand-up comedian and Parker parent Shelley Benoit says. “What he lacks in stand-up technique, he makes up for with his mad skills as a sketch comic, musician, impressionist and creative collaborator with his guests and the house band, The Roots. He also has boyish charm and makes the audience feel like they are all in on the joke,” all of which boost his ratings, even when his monologues are weak. A true group effort, The Tonight Show has never been as exhilarating musically and sketch-wise as it is today, backed up by The Roots and featuring ridiculous He’s not afraid to openly swoon over guests he looks up to and praise them

nonstop, just as any fan would. Straying further and further away from the me-ticulously-scripted nature of talk shows that Leno had nurtured for decades, his interviews feel more like a conversation you happened to overhear, mixed with his signature “that’s awesome” and constant applause. Is that enough to beat Leno’s 4,610-episode streak, the most in The Tonight Show’s 60-year history? He is far less of a commanding force of late night television, something someone in his position ought to be. In the 12:30 AM time slot, former Saturday Night Live writer and cast member Seth Meyer’s first time taking over Fallon’s chair on Late Night was stylistically far different. But he still didn’t stray far from the condescending and snarky tone of SNL’s “Weekend Update” that au

“ To remain a part of American culture, Tonight recquired a generational change, adjusting from baby boomers to their millennial kids.” — The New York Times ilar, and I feel like they appeal to similar audiences.” At 12:30 AM, the show’s main audience is, for the majority, recording episodes and watching them the next day. His performance lacks the energy of Fallon’s Late Night years and relies on quick one-liners and hip newbies of the TV, film and music industries. “I don’t know how it’s sustainable,” D’Onofrio says. “His monologue is just ‘Weekend Update’,” minus our SNL favorites who go hand-in-hand with our image of Myers, like Stefon or Drunk Uncle. Both hosts have

assumed positions that matter to the American people, but may be slowly phasing out. “It’s different than The Daily Show or The Colbert Report where it’s all based on news,” D’Onofrio says. “We might be seeing the end of the relevance of the typical late night talk show.”



ANGELS & HEARTS HARAJUKU CRæPERIE In total, this café offers one hundred different confection, a few dozen pastries, and daily brunch and dinner.

ECLIPSE CHOCOLATE 2145 FERN ST. SAN DIEGO, CA 92104 (619) 578-2984 MON-THU 8AM - 10PM FRI-SAT 8AM - 11PM

At this North County shop, which was featured on Shark Tank, the ingredients are frozen right before your eyes, making it the freshest ice cream in town. “We start off with a cream base, and we also have lactose-free and vegan options, as well as ice cream and frozen yogurt,” says Reece Raven, an employee at Sub Zero. “Then we flash freeze it with liquid nitrogen to -321° fahrenheit.” Your custom-made ice cream is instantly frozen by the liquid nitrogen, a twist on a normal ice cream. Its thick consistency and fresh taste give the customer a bold new option on a summer day. After quickly stirring the liquid mix, it turns into solid ice cream right before your eyes. The nutella crepe with strawberries and vanilla mochi ice cream is very filling.

“Nobody knows the truffles I’ve seen,” is the accurate motto of this chocolate shop and bistro founded in North Park in 2004. William Gustwiller, a chocolatier with a different perspective on chocolate, had the idea of infusing it with exotic flavors. After completing his masters in sculpture at San Diego State University, Gustwiller opened a café in 2007 and then in 2013 he moved to his North Park location. Some of the more interesting flavors at the North Park shop include cardamom rose petal, lavender salted caramel, honey saffron, and blackberry merlot.

4646 CONVOY ST. SAN DIEGO, CA 92111 (858) 573-2400 12AM-11PM DAILY


april 2014|THE SCRIBE

Right off Convoy Street and Opportunity Road, Angels and Hearts Harajuku Crê perie opened two years ago and is connected to the popular ramen house, Raki Raki. It was originally a creperie but then expanded, serving Harajukustyle crêpes as their speciality, and combining them with mochi ice cream. Instead of the crunchy cone that usually accompanies ice cream, your taste buds are met with a soft crêpe that encloses whatever toppings you choose. This combination of Japanese and French cultures creates a bizarre, yet delicious combination.

This quaint place may be cramped, but it adds to the unique atmosphere.

1640 CAMINO DEL RIO N SAN DIEGO, CA 92108 (858) 213-7967 11AM-8:30PM DAILY Located in Westfield Mission Valley mall at a kiosk in front of Macy’s, this shaved snow has the appearance of ribbons and the texture of cotton candy. The blocks of frozen fruit used to make the shaved snow are already frozen and at under 100 calories, it’s a healthy dessert to treat yourself to after a long day. “[Our product is] made with high-quality ingredients with the same great taste as ice cream, with only a fraction of the calories,” says Cinty Gaddi, an employee of Chilly Ribbons. This custom came from Roman times when rulers would send their servants to the mountains to collect snow,

UP 2 YOU CAFE 7770 VICKERS ST. #101 SAN DIEGO, CA 92111 (619)6636388 12:30AM-10PM DAILY Up 2 You Cafe is a hip and eclectic Japanese dessert restaurant known for their honey toast. “The idea of sponge bread came from Taiwan, and the honey toast is the most popular,” says Annie Li, an employee at the cafe. Putting a twist on regular French toast, this toast has a crunchiness combined with honey drizzled over it to make a special breakfast dessert. You can top it with your choice of fresh fruit, Nutella, peanut butter, condensed milk, or even ice cream.

With its smells, sounds, and beachy vibe, it almost feels like you’re on an island vacation. It features authentic Hawaiian shaved ice with 38 syrups to choose from and ice cream to go beneath the shaved ice. Wahine Kai’s shaved ice isn’t a crunchy, hard-to-eat snow cone, but rather, is smooth and melts in your mouth. “The main reason [I opened the store] is because I used to work in Hawaii and I thought that Hawaii is so similar to San Diego in so many ways,” says Robin Rond, the owner of the store. “I could never understand why nobody ever brought authentic Hawaiian shaved ice over here.” In the four and a half years Wahine Kai has been opened, it has become a popular place for the Scripps Ranch community.

CINEMA UNDER THE STARS Black and white cutouts of Cary Grant and Marilyn Monroe greet moviegoers at the entrance to this “open-air” theater. Rows of reclining chairs in the outdoor patio offer guests a great view of the big screen, or simply the night sky. With a retractable dome and heating system, Cinema Under the Stars always has a comfortable feel, no matter what the weather forecast is. The film schedule rotates with Winter/ Spring Cinema, which features newer pieces like Hunger Games or American Hustle, and Classic Cinema when older films such as Rear Window or Breakfast at Tiffany’s are shown. Located in Mission Hills next to Lefty’s Chicago Pizzeria and across from Brooklyn Girl, this theater will always be a fun option for “dinner and a movie.”

PRICE: $15

4040 Goldfinch Street San Diego, CA 92103 Now 15 years old, NCT is San Diego’s longestrunning live comedy, and great for anyone tired of the same old stand-up. The 100-seat theater sits on the top level of India Street, and is designed for all ages, so don’t say anything inappropriate or you’ll get a brown bag placed over your head. Audience participation drives the show, and open seating allows guests to be as involved as they want to be. Since the theatre is all improv, each show is different, making every visit a unique one. After an hour and a half of games and laughs, the players will be waiting in the lobby to give you highfives as you leave. Ask the house staff nicely enough, and you can take a picture with the cast.

A beautiful, Victorian-style building near the Hotel Del Coronado creates an elegant atmosphere for the traditional theatre patron. Lamb’s puts on a wide variety of plays including musicals, comedies, Shakespeare and Christmas specials. The set is completely remodeled for each show, and can be changed from a charming country cottage to a strict mental hospital. Adjacent to the theater is Encore Café, which sells desserts for those craving a treat during intermission, but also has soups and sandwiches for lunch and dinner. Roles are available for people of all ages, so anyone can audition. Molly O’Meara ’13 and senior Patricia Fernandez have both performed in Lamb’s productions.

PRICE: $12

PRICE: $20


3717 India Street San Diego, CA 92103


april 2014|THE SCRIBE


3717 India

OLD TOWN THEATRE Centered at the top of what looks like a rustic red barn is a hand-painted sign that reads “Old Town Theatre.” Built in the heart of Old Town, visitors can walk through the allegedly haunted Whaley House or take a trolley tour before a show. Home to the Cygnet theatre company, the building offers a quaint, antique feel while putting on modern productions. The musicals Spring Awakening and Company pop up in this year’s season along with contemporary comedy The Motherf**ker with the Hat. After being remodeled, the theater now has 246 seats, each with a great view of the stage. Inside and outside, the Old Town Theatre is a historic alternative to the local playhouse.

PRICE: $49 4040 Twiggs Street San Diego, CA 92110

SANTEE DRIVE-IN For our East County friends, or anyone looking for a retro vibe, the drive-in theater is a great place to try. Movies are shown at 7 PM on a mounted screen for everyone to see. There are no reserved spaces so cars are free to park in any available spot. Tune into channel 89.7 or 89.3 FM for the movie broadcasts. Guests can enjoy recently released movies like Mr. Peabody and Sherman or 300: Rise of an Empire from the comfort of their cars. Open sky and an old time marquee display will make you feel like you’re back in the ’50s.

PRICE: $8 10990 North Woodside Avenue Santee, CA 92071

LA PALOMA In 1928, this theater premiered its first showing of The Cohen’s and Kelly’s in Paris. Lights decorate the entrance, and a gilded display surrounds the big screen. La Paloma features all kinds of movie genres. Guests can don drag for a production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which is held every Friday at midnight. Fans of foreign movies can see the North County Film Series Italian Film Festival. Documentaries and live narrative performances are also up for viewing. With Oscar nominated films and Music and Art Exhibitions, La Paloma has something for everyone.

PRICE: $9 471 S Coast Highway 101 Encinitas, CA 92024



There isn’t much that hasn’t been


peein’ badboy—it’s just wrong.

said about this one. From cute preteen with an iconic haircut to bucket

cricket knits have gone black and white and


ready to be taken off the field and into the


office. Note, this does not mean you can

Want an edgier look to your everyday

wear your Lululemon yoga pants to school.

attire? Put down that top coat and try


matte nail polish. A switch up from

The sporting life is going high contrast for spring. Track pants, pinnies and even

The DIY trend came along in 2012 and turned nearly every house into a craft center. From complete home renovations to a

the normal manicure, matte nails have never been more in style. Featured on runway models from

new hem on your jeans, there were at least

DKNY to Alexander Wang, this chic

20 tutorials. This spring, Karl Lagerfeld

new style is a unique contrast to

took Jackson Pollock’s drip painting to the

spring colors. If you’re a skeptic, try

runways on his iconic quilted Chanel bag,

a nice matte tip for a refined finish

while jewelry designer Lauren Klassen ele-

that’s bound to please.

vated office supplies to a gold standard with a coat of vermeil.



Celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence,

With the release of new episodes of House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, Suits, and the end of Breaking Bad, we’re petitioning Mr. Barsky to approve a TV day for all Upper School students, but we may have to wait until the additon of Flex Periods next year.

Katy Perry, and Rihanna have been rocking sheer fashion. From casual looks to red carpet gowns, this soft and delicate fabric creates an elegant and romantic feel to compliment any silhouette. But please ladies, let’s keep it classy.



Wake up, grab your phone, and run april 2014|THE SCRIBE

out the door. You get to school and by sixth period your phone is about to


die. Never fear, with your portable


Twitter, and Snapchat. The only

Skirts, dresses, tops, oh my. They’re all bad. The party-in-the-front, business-in-the-back look has officially overstayed its welcome.

GROUPER Because haven’t we all heard at least one scary story of a friend meeting a creep online? But wait, instead of meeting one person for a night out, you can now pick two friends to go with you and meet up with three sketchy people who have nothing better to do with their time.


phone charger on hand, you can continue checking your Instagram, downside is you won’t have any excuse for “missing” those calls from your mom.


SPOR TS lights out, knights out pg. 34 I who’s on first? pg. 35 on the right track pg. 36 I a true underdog story pg. 38




Juniors Ryan Risse and David Traganza prepare to face off in a game of dodgeball. See page 38 to read what Risse and Traganza have to say about the sport.



tands were packed on November 18, 2005, to watch Park er football crush The Bishop’s School in a 56-0 win. Blowouts like this one have since become a regular occurence when Parker is up against Bishop’s. So Parker students are questioning why Bishop’s is still our rival. To put it simply, we are two private schools, we’re both in the same league, athletic conference and share the same ideals when it comes to education. So it is almost impossible not to have a rivalry with the Knights. Parker also has rivalries with the other private schools in San Diego, like La Jolla Country Day and Santa Fe Christian, but Bishop’s is the one that has remained supreme. The rivalry began over 30 years ago, before many of our current coaches turum. Stands are less packed, and students aren’t taking the rivalry as seriously anymore. Games against more competitive schools like Mater Dei, Army Navy, and even Torrey Pines are becoming more fun to watch. Parker sports have truly turned it up a notch, and Bishop’s is trailing behind. “At one point, way way back, after years they finally beat us in one game of football, and they had everybody sign the ball, and that became the game ball,” says Athletic Director Dan Kuiper. The blowouts have gotten so bad that Bishop’s has become our Homecoming game opponent, to ensure victory in one of the most important games of the season. “Our football program has taken our game to the next level, and Bishop’s really hasn’t kept up with that,” Kuiper says. Other sports are similar. Parker basketball swept the season series in 2014. While Bishop’s failed to make it out of the first round of the CIF playoffs, Parker advanced all the way to the CIF championship game. Bishop’s can’t keep up with Parker’s drastic improvement across the athletic spectrum. Football, cross country, baseball, basketball, and even golf are just some of the sports in which Parker now dominates our once-hated

rivals. Games have gone from “You’re playing Bishop’s? you better win!” to “You’re playing Bishop’s? Oh, easy win.” The rivalry just isn’t what it once was. The popular line “Buck Fishops” is dying out, as most Parker students are losing interest in the ancient rivalry. But it’s not necessarily the same for Bishop’s. The Bishop’s varsity girls’ soccer team made a video that “trash talked” the Parker girls’ team, which fired up the student body. But the Parker girls weren’t phased. “All that matters is that we won on their home field,” says sophomore midfielder Indiana Ya-ley. There is hope for the future of Bishop’s athletics. Owning an Olympic-sized pool on campus, Bishop’s has dominated in water polo and swimming. And with multiple rising underclassmen who are ready to show their talent, the football team is poised to become a competitor and make a run at the CIF championship with new additions, such as rising sophomore quarterback Justin Woodley and offensive lineman Daniel Anderson. And of course, with 1600-yard senior running back Bulla Graft, the team is ready to challenge Parker and our dominance. We’re waiting, Bishop’s. FACTS AND FIGURES March 5, 2011 was the last time the boys’ basketball team lost to Bishop’s 2010 was the last year Bishop’s boys’ basketball had a winning season 13-3 is our record in football versus Bishop’s for the last 12 years

ookie, novice, new comer, amateur— these are just a few of the words used to describe freshmen in varsity sports. In some cases, these words are fitting. In one case, however, these words are completely unsuitable. Freshmen Joe Pasquill, Nick Allen, and Zach Sehgal each have unique abilities to make an impact on the baseball diamond this spring. Freshmen compete in varsity sports every year, but these experienced and talented underclassmen are turning heads. Their exceptional skill sets have them amped up and making plays in their quest for a CIF championship. Shortstop Nick Allen has been playing since age four, and before the season began, he really enjoyed getting to know the veterans on the team during the winter workouts. “The experience was great,” Allen says. “They are a great group of ball players, but most importantly, they are a great group of people.” Having already committed to the University of Southern California to play baseball, Allen knows what it’s like to play among excellent athletes. Despite his superb abilities and skills, Allen understands the importance of staying humble. “Some people think they are better than I am, and I like to let them think that, because I do my talking on the field,” Allen says. “The true answer always comes out on the field.” But these freshmen aren’t just here to get a feel for what playing varsity baseball is like. They have high standards, and they anticipate winning a lot this year. They all work hard, have competitive playing styles, and love getting out on the field come springtime. “Personally, I’ve always had high expectations for every team I have played on, and I’m not going to change a thing for this one,” Allen says. “We are going to help our seniors go out with a bang and take it game by game, inning by inning, pitch by pitch, and bring back a CIF championship for Parker baseball.” Catcher Joe Pasquill has shined on the field this year, where, in nine total chances, he has had eight putouts and one assist. Pas-quill, who has been playing since the age of five, also has lofty expectations for the season. In addition to Allen, he genuinely enjoyed bonding with the upperclassmen in the preseason, and has been impressed by inclusion on the team. “There is never any priority on our team, meaning that freshmen and seniors should all be expected to be leaders on and off the field,” Pasquill says. “There is no other team I would play for; These are some of the best people that I know.”

Along with their proficiency on the field, these freshmen are brilliant; all three have extremely high baseball IQs. They make smart decisions on the field, and most of the veterans are aware that their presence will impact the team positively. Senior Nate Glasser has been extremely impressed with the work ethic of the freshmen, and even before any games were played, he was aware of the impact they would make on the team. “These guys are some of the most focused and hardworking guys on the team,” Glasser says. “They all have experience playing in tournaments around the country, so I know they will be well prepared.” Glasser adds that, although they may be perceived as inexperienced, each of them has the potential to lead the group, which is mainly made up of upperclassmen. “They have all stepped up as leaders on the team, and are not shy about voicing their opinions. They make the team better with their competitive work ethic and desire to win.” The freshmen bring their skills and competitive style to the table, but they have also managed to bring the team together like never before. Glasser and others have really appreciated the advice they have given to all members of the team. Things like new stretches, tips on arm care, and help with swings are just some of the ways that Allen, Pasquill, and Sehgal have brought


the team together and established themselves as admirable players. Third baseman Zach Sehgal recognizes that playing at this high level is a challenge like no other. But he also understands that not everything is in his control, and that all he can do is to put forth his best effort. “You can’t really think about the challenge,” says Sehgal. “All you can do is control what you can control. For me, I’m going to play free, easy, and relaxed with 100 percent focus and effort. The rest will take care of itself.” Attitudes like this one seem to be the theme for the team this year, and it’s especially helpful for the freshmen. Playing nervously isn’t going to do them any good; the key is to capitalize on the situation and play in a calm, composed manner. As the season progresses, the freshmen will make great strides in their own repertoires along with continuing to inspire their teammates. Although they have all played baseball nearly their whole lives, this season is a new beginning for them. It’s their first season playing at the varsity level, and they have three more to go after this one. There will be ups and downs, and mistakes will be made. The freshmen know this season will be a rollercoaster, but regardless of how challenging it is, these three rising stars are ready. Statistics collected as of April 3, 2014.

t a track and field meet domi nated by large pub lic schools, it’s easy for a small private school like Francis Parker to be lost in the crowd. These meets draw competitors from the likes of Patrick Henry High School, Hoover High School, Bonita Vista High School, La Jol la High School, Clairemont High School and Point Loma High School, all competing in Division II. But this year, the Parker team has undergone some major changes, and is making a name for itself on the track and field scene. “We’re starting to build a reputation,” head track and field Coach DJ Walcott says. “You know, we have a joke: ‘Who’s Francis?’ ‘Who’s Francis?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Where’s Francis at?’ [Other teams] call us ‘Francis’ because they don’t know we’re Francis Parker. So when you see these dominant track schools start to notice you, you really want to keep that going.” The varsity boys’ team is the three-time defending Coastal League champion; the varsity girls’ team is the two-time defending coastal league runnerup. Despite lacking support from the student body, the track and field team continues to perform well and bring home banners to display season after season. The team is comprised of 61 athletes, whom Walcott describes as “fast, quick, and powerful”; many have known nothing but success in their sport. Even so, the track and field team faced issues in the past. Although schools that perform well at track meets often have tracks on their campuses, Walcott believes when Parker’s program is run at its very best, our team’s chances of doing well are equal to or better than that of a team with a track on its home turf, particular ly as a result of this year’s program revisions. With the help of assistant coach Clarence Hill, Walcott also plans to incorporate pole vaulting into the track and field program, which will provide structure for the team. After polling registered student-athletes, Walcott and his colleagues noticed an increased interest in pole vaulting. Hill agreed to coach those interested. Although he loves pole vaulting, Hill was genuinely motivated to coach by his desire to improve the track and field program. “My motivation comes through my desire to establish a pole vaulting corps that contributes to our track and field team,” he says. “Pole vaulting is clearly a unique and dynamic field event for competing athletes.” He plans to emphasize safety and fun. The track and field team has seen talented pole vaulters, but Parker’s pole vaulting sect needs to be more systematically developed before it can perform well. Because one’s success in pole vaulting is so contingent upon his or her willingness to learn the craft, both Hill and Walcott predict victory in the event, primarily as a result of eager athletes. According to Walcott, Francis Parker’s track and field team consistently “outruns” the competition at meets. The team, with its surplus of short distance sprinters, has earned a reputation for its agility and speed. The boys’ team has especially gained notoriety for this. The girls’ team, however, still struggles to garner prestige. Although there are 23 students on the varsity girls’ team, the team lacks participants willing to long jump, high jump and triple jump. Because of this, the team regularly loses— most frequently to its rival, Calvin Christian School—by only a few points. “When basically a third of the track meet is jumping, and you don’t have jumpers, and you lose by a very small margin, then it’s hard,” Walcott adds. This is where the disconnect between the girls’ team’s dedication and its victory lies. This season, both the boys’ and girls’ teams aim to continue their success in throwing, short distance sprinting, and long distance running, although they hope to recruit more long distance runners. Walcott and his fellow coaches acknowledge the difficulty of running

“ and recognize “it takes a special kind of person” to want to run long distance, but still envision great success for both teams’ long distance division.

The team routinely experiences what Walcott refers to as “large team problems:” scheduling, communication, and transportation issues. But, large numbers also promote success and unity among the group. “More people, more fun. All our problems are stuff we can deal with,” Walcott says of the team’s size. Seniors Alex Jones and Ayman Mayberry agree. “We are very close, like a family,” Jones says of the track and field team. “The team is supportive,” Mayberry adds. Jones and Mayberry are successful in track and field, and both hold Francis Parker records. Jones holds the 400 meter record, a 4 by 1 record, and a 4 by 4 record; May-berry holds the 100 meter record, 200 meter record, and, like Jones, holds a 4 by 1 and a 4 by 4 record as well. They attribute their success to their coaches and teammates. “Coach DJ says, ‘Win everything,’” Mayberry says. The team has been successful so far this season, winning 21 medals at their meet on the 22nd of March. Other schools have taken note. “When you see these dominant track schools start to notice you, it puts your student athletes in a good position. Now this guy’s looking over his shoulder for that brown and gold coming around the corner instead of thinking about running his race,” says Walcott of the competition. “He’s worrying about, “Where’s Francis? Who’s Francis? Is he coming up behind me? Is this Francis guy gonna pass me? We like being the David to their Goliath.”

When you see these dominant track schools start to notice you, you really want to keep that going.� —Head Coach DJ Walcott



n Francis illustri


ous athletic history, a crucial element of student wellness has been lacking: dodgeball. Thanks to juniors David Tra ganza and Ryan Risse, Parker’s thirst for this elementary school pastime has finally been quenched. Since its conception, students have signed up to participate in lunchtime tournaments consisting of 12 teams with five players per team. So if you’re ever in the mood to throw some balls at your peers, stop by the Field House during lunch during the week. Q: Why did you guys decide to create this new club at Parker? A: We were inspired by a tournament championship that we won. We entered into a dodgeball tournament at [David’s] church auditorium and basically mauled every team we played. We literally beat everybody and we figured that we could do the same at Parker. So we showed up [at school], got some dodgeballs and started throwing them at each other. Q: Besides your church auditorium tournament, have you had any other past experiences with the game of dodgeball? A: It probably started way back in middle school and we’ve just been champions ever since.


april 2014|THE SCRIBE

Q: Are you surprised by the amount of people who are participating in the club? A: Yes, there are about 40 more people than we thought would be here. We expected about 15 people and about 55 showed up. It’s crazy. Q: What are the future plans for the dodgeball club? A: To start with, Coach DJ and his advisory challenged our all-star team to a game and it should be a duel. We’re also going to have another tournament

and there are going to be 17 teams [competing] this time. And we’re also thinking about taking [Parker’s] all-star team and entering them into a real tournament if we can raise enough money. Then [the all-star team] can go out and dominate and potentially win more money. We also want to keep getting bigger and bigger and maybe even compete against other schools. Q: Besides the two of you, who are some dodgeball players to watch? A: [Senior] Tanner [Aiono] and [junior] Rob [Gianella] can both catch really well. Right now we’re also working on our LVP [Least Valuable Player], and it’s either [junior] Myles Kenny or [junior] Angel Rodriguez. Q: Do you have any secrets or strategies that you would be willing to share? A: Don’t be afraid to catch the balls. It looks scary and when they hit you in the face they hurt, but if you just go up and grab them, then it’s not that hard to catch. Catch before throwing and don’t get cocky. Q: Who inspires you? A: Mike Tyson and Patches [from the movie Dodgeball]. Q: What is dodgeball swag? A: First and foremost, you have to wear one ankle brace. Only one though, because if you wear two, it will mess up your throwing motion. Also, wear your shorts really high, but boxers even higher and then you tuck your shirt into your boxers. Most importantly, wear as many arm bands as possible so you can’t feel your arms. Q: If you could put together a team of faculty that you want to play against, who would they be? A: Definitely Ms. Allen, [she’s] number one [because] she’s athletic. Coach DJ [Walcott] for sure. Manny [Villasenor] the bus driver, that would be intense. And Señor Gomez. That would be so dope if we could play an all faculty team. THE COMPETITORS

Senior Tanner Aiono: Q: What is your go to move on the dodgeball court? A: My favorite move is the 360 degree no-scope across the map. It works 100 percent of the time 50 percent of the time. Junior Myles Kenny: Q: How do you feel about David Traganza referring to you as the LVP of the dodgeball club? A: Did he actually call me that? Well, I’m not the LVP because I’m not as terrible as he says I am. Sophomore Braden Salvati: Q: Who’s the most intimidating player you’ve played against? A: [Junior] Jonah Davis because he’s got a cannon of an arm and he aims for the head. He plays dirty but he also plays well. Freshman Ethan Risse: Q: Who’s your biggest rival on the dodgeball court? A: David Traganza because he considers himself the best even though we all know he’s not. He’s also really cocky on the court.


ETCETERA and the rose goes to.... pg. 40 creature feature pg. 42 I the curious case of... pg. 44 quadrants pg. 45


Seniors Luke Pelessone, Matsuo Chino, Matt Handmacher, and Sammy Rodriguez are waiting to give their final rose to a special someone. See page 48 to find out if it’s you.



MAGGIE OSWALD Freshman Margaret “Maggie” Oswald is more than just a license-less 15-year-old begging for rides. This hilarious apple-obsessed girl prides herself on her ability to fashion her hair into a mustache or a turban. When you can’t find her at her favorite café, “Better Buzz,” you might catch this 5’8” Libra on the volleyball court or the soccer field. So boys, if you’re interested, you’d better hope you look like Dylan O’Brien, because she has her eyes set on him. What product from an infomercial have you secretly wanted to buy? I bought myself a Double Chin Exerciser for Christmas. I’m still waiting for it to ship from Korea. What are your feelings towards home-grown tomatoes? Like a plate of mayonnaise, Spam, and pigs’ feet, there are some thing best left untouched. Do you have any socially inappropriate quirks? I relate everything I hear to a song, I just have to stick to the status quo. What was your crowning achievement of your elementary school years? I got to walk a tortoise in the bushes one time. ’Twas a thrill. What would you do if the Wi-Fi around the world stopped working for a whole day? Stop, drop, and roll? They should write some safety instructions for this.

JIMMY EHRENFELDT Sophomore James “Jimmy” Ehrenfeldt can be spotted across any crowded room—just look for luscious locks of naturally blonde hair. Having a mane as perfect as Jimmy’s is no easy task; it’s the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up and the last thing he remembers before going to bed. This Vir go’s pet peeve is how “people complain [that] they are up all night doing homework, and I see that they are active on Facebook [un til] one in the morning.” When not thinking about his ’do, this sassy sophomore can be found on the football field or in the weight room, and after his workouts, snacking on chicken and biscuits from KFC. Do you have any superstitions? Superstition is for the weak. Which reality TV show should you star in? Real Housewives of Orange County. Would you rather stand out in a crowd or blend in? I’m so different, I wouldn’t even be in the crowd.

If you had to cast someone to play you in a movie who would it be and why? Chris Hemsworth, he’s almost as good looking as I am. If you could erase one moment from your past what would it be? No ragrets. Who is your worst enemy? Enemies? I don’t have enemies, I am the enemy.

FEATURE CONVERSATIONS WITH THE COOLEST KIDS ON CAMPUS CORRYN KNAPP Meet junior Corryn Knapp, a sassy, Adam Levine-loving lacrosse player with a secret desire to pursue duck racing. Though you’ll never find her obsessing over Instagram, she loves spending time catching up with her favorite TV star, Juan Pablo. Although she’s notorious for breaking her skort zipper and sticking her tongue out in her fifth grade promotion video, she’s a pretty cool girl who dreams of sharing some bacon mac and cheese with Beyoncé. But beware: if you choose to wear a speedo to the beach, you risk getting on her bad side. What is your worst enemy? Speeling: gramar; pronuciation, Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell, or Paula Abdul? American Idol is so 2000s. It’s The Voice now. #TeamAdam

ANDREW SMITH Senior Andrew Smith is a yogi, a graphic designer, and a surfer. When he’s not out catching waves or practicing the hottest new yoga pose, he can be found snacking on Döner Kebabs while updating his queue on Netflix. Andrew’s favorite numbers are zero and eight, because they’re perfectly balanced. His hidden talents include being able to lick his elbow and being incredibly flexible, though he has a bad habit of biting his nails. Smith always makes sure to go to bed at a reasonable hour—somewhere between 9:30 PM and 1:00 AM. To get on this Scorpio’s good side, ladies, just make sure you’re not too full of yourself; it’s his pet peeve. If you were stuck on a desert island, what would you want to have with you? Fresh water, fruit, a hunting rifle, and some matches. Don’t forget the Nutella either. Who’s your freshman crush? As sexy as those class shirts are, I can safely say that my heart doesn’t go bum budum bum bum bum bum for any freshman farmers. Does your name make any interesting anagrams? Prank, Con, Pry—the sequel to Eat, Pray, Love, the story of a con, their pranks and their pries. What product from an infomercial have you secretly wanted to buy? The bacon cup cooker things, which are seriously just upside down muffin tins. But let’s be real, who wouldn’t want to eat mac and cheese inside a bacon bowl?

Which reality TV show should you star in? The Bachelor, hello! It is the story of my life. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? I would probably bury it in the Social Justice Garden. No one is going to be breaking ground there any time soon! What are your thoughts on selfies? I’d like to say that I’m over them, but I think I need to realize how many selfies I take in a day. The first step to any addiction is denial.

What is your biggest accomplishment? I used to be one of the best soprano singers in the state of Indiana, but then I hit puberty.


n hundreds of pockets and lockers, on countless desks and lunch tables, sit the rapidly multiplying population of smartphones belonging to Parker students. All these phones look the same, so stu dents have taken it upon themselves to snap on a creative case to add some personal flare to their miniature companions. These cases can tell you a lot about the owner. Maybe it’s a bright silver, maybe a cool blue, or maybe even wooden paneling. Read about the personalities of the stu dents below and see if you can guess which case belongs to them.



“It’s really helpful to have an iPhone so I can use the Internet wherever I go,” says senior Jasmine Anklesaria. Anklesaria uses her phone mainly for Facebook, Snap-chat, listening to music, and texting her friends. During her four years of running on the cross country team, Jasmine has become known to all runners as “Mom,” because of her motherly personality.

Junior Olivia Ghosh uses her phone mainly for communicating with people. Whether it’s Face-book, calls, or texts, she loves to keep in contact with her friends long after the school day ends. “I also use it to listen to music, and I am a self-proclaimed Buzzfeed ad dict,” Ghosh says. When she’s not chatting with friends, Olivia enjoys watching movies. Her dedication to her studies shows her determined personality, and her favorite color is red. “I use my phone for calling, texting, surfing the internet, listening to music, social media, and to keep myself organized,” says freshman Olia Javidi. Javidi’s favorite activity is tennis, and she is constantly involved in weekend tournaments. To keep herself on track, she uses the United States Tennis Association app on her phone. She has a quirky sense of humor, and her favorite color is green.

When he’s not out on the court practicing with the boys’ tennis team or hanging out with his friends, sophomore Sam Stanton can usually be found quietly mastering numerous exciting games on his phone. “Most of the apps on my phone represent how much I like to play video games, my main passion besides playing tennis,” Stanton says. Fun and unique, the Flashbacks Old-School case can be found at It is sold by the company Strapya and costs $4.99. Showing a cartoon representation of Anthony Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange, this case can also be ordered online at www.

This Lemongrass Yellow/Harbor Blue CandyShell Grip case by Speck can be found at for $34.95. Elegant in its simplicity, this Optical White/Hot Pink Edge Pro case by Incipio can be found at for $34.99.

Answers: 1D, 2C, 3B, 4A


april 2014|THE SCRIBE


















When the person who’s driving me is coming back. As a mental exercise, I’ve often planned the murder of friends and colleague s. How many people are judging me for barely driving the speed limit.

Wintergr een Dream


Small Potatoes

I don’t have a Facebook and I suppose that actually describes my relationships as well.

Blue Ivy

Married to my textbooks . #juniorye ar


Susie from Rugrats

I dropped it in the toilet.

*violentl y doesn’t know*

I decided to go snorkeling and left my phone in my swim trunks.

Piglet from Winnie the Pooh

I played with the sliding keyboard so much it turned into a flip phone.



How to possibly make it through a 6 1/2 hour Taylor Swift playlist, with only a 45 minute drive.

Tanner... a slightly tanner crayon than the current tan


Russell, the wildernes s adventure scout from Up

As I was dropping my phone, I stepped on it, in the midst of an intense dodgeball d then I got hit out...


When I am alone in my car I usually think about how much I hate driving!

Can rainbow be a crayon color?!

In a relationsh ip.

I think I most resemble Minnie Mouse!

Just last week I lost my phone at the beach while out with my dog.






] Yes.


iPhone or food?

on 9

Stop reading. “You don’t even go here.”


DO YOU EVEN GO HERE? TEST YOUR PARKER STUDENT STATUS ARTICLE BY GRACE SELLICK veryone in San Diego thinks of Parker as a school with rigorous academics and highly-praised sport teams. However, once you step on to the campus and immerse yourself in the rich culture of private school teens, Parker is no longer the school you once thought. Th e Scribble’s best investigators decided to take on the challenge of discovering what really makes the Parker student a unique species. Having 25 extra-curriculars and 25-hour sleep deficits are not the only common characteristics among these students. You will oft en see Parker students always on the prowl for free food, carrying a Starbucks cup in the morning, or racing up Linda Vista. So do you have what it takes to be a real Parker student? Or are you one of those few that can’t manage to stay in the holy Parker bubble? If you are then,

8 april 2014|THE SCRIBBLE

NUMBER ONE ON THE FLOOR AND IN THEIR HEARTS ARTICLE BY MAX FEYE AND MARK KLEIN PHOTOGRAPH BY CAROLINE MERKIN s you rub your eyes aft er a long night of slumber, your dream slips away, although you vaguely remember some part about walking down the aisle with that Ukranian chick from Dodgeball. Relieved that you are married to no such woman, you reach over and grab the phone next to your bed. You’re greeted by a screen full of texts from your friends, desperately trying to reach you about the most important day of your high school career: Prom. Putting the phone down, you smile and go back to sleep, content that you know exactly what to do to prepare and how to do it without them. Duh, you read Th e Scribble’s “Guys’ Guide to Promenade.”

Make sure that you get a good night’s sleep before the big dance; no one wants to be nodding off on their Prom date during the slow songs. Try to get at least 14-16 hours of sleep so that your beauty mask will have time to reach its full potential; pimples are a deal-break er. You may also want to keep some extra pillows handy during your slumber, to keep your neck com fortable and to practice those new snuggling moves you’ve seen in the movies. This way you won’t embarrass yourself when making your “move.” Waking up may be the most important part of your day be fore Prom. Step out of bed and tell yourself, “I am the best, no one is as good or as pretty as I am. All those other boys have nothing on me.” On the dancefloor, you have no friends, only opponents, so make

When preparing your suit, originality is key. “Peacocking”—dressing in the most extravagant outfi t—is the only way to draw in the ladies. This strategy brings out girls’ primal instincts and will have them cat fighting their way to your heart. If you’re not into the whole “standing out in the crowd” scene, a tuxedo is always classic, but would you rather be a penguin, one of one million shuffling together to keep your precious chicks from freez ing, or a peacock, majestic among fowl. Your call.

While the hair on your head should already be as smooth as a baby’s bottom, hair everywhere else might not be as “well-tamed.” Th e key to looking good during your Prom night is wax, lots and lots of wax. Make sure that there are no stray hairs between your eyebrows, or really anywhere else on your body. Who wants to look up at see a beast of a nose-hair sticking out of your sniff er? Shave and trim, boys, shave and trim.

Grubby fingernails are a freshman move. Don’t make that rookie mistake: get your mani-pedi at least sure you have the energy to keep three weeks in advance. Some may question your masculinity, but they can kiss your sweet lacquered hand when your dance moves going all night you’re stealing their date. Th e best place to get your nails done is just down the street at Fashion Valley Mall, and then some. Happy Nails. Th ey’ll get you looking prime, and if you chat them up, this salon will live up to its name at the end. lives


WORLD NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY Chaperone: Mr. Urbano Rosas Travel to exotic Maryland for a visit to the National Security Agency. Th e agency is happy to have visitors, and wants to learn everything about you. Seriously, everything. If you’re a Verizon user, make sure you text a friend about how fun the trip was, so that the NSA will definitely know you had a good time. Don’t worry about the commute, one of their vans will be there to pick you up, a van that was there yesterday, and the week before, and the week before that.

SOCHI, RUSSIA Chaperone: Still no volunteers Head to a city that is as open and accepting as Fox News is “fair and balanced.” Your hotel will have plenty of character, because it’s probably still under construction. Animal lovers can adopt a stray dog during their stay. Take your time, there are thousands to choose from. If you get thirsty, yellow tinted drinking water is complimentary, along with the snow. Participate in your own Olympic event: San Diegans Trying Not to Fall on the Ice. President Vladimir Putin will be in attendance, and will be disappointed by your performance. Have a good time, and please try not to get arrested when you’re blasting “Same Love” down the streets.

OLIVE GARDEN Chaperone: Mr. Jared D’Onofrio Th e aroma of fresh, Neapolitan pizza fi lls the air. In a restaurant window, you see a chef pouring marinara sauce onto a plate of angel hair pasta. An amateur painting of the Italian plain adorns the wall. Italy is good, but why travel all that way when you can have basically the same experience at a multinational restaurant chain? You won’t get overwhelmed by rich history and fl avorful food because all you’ll be experiencing is the safe mediocrity of Olive Garden. You’ll even get to see Milan’s latest fashions that have finally trickled down to Nordstrom Rack. So sit back and relax a restaurant where every review of it on Yelp! is a variation of “Yeah, it’s average.”


april 2014|THE SCRIBBLE


BUFORD, WYOMING Chaperone: Mr. Steve Cook Sure, you’ve flown over it, but now your plane actually gets to land in Wyoming. With possibilities as endless as the horizon, the question becomes, “What to do?” Head to Buford, where the population was one, but has recently exploded to two thanks to the arrival of Old Man Joe’s mail-order bride, a Real Farmwife of Buford hopeful. Attractions include dirt, red dirt, clay, dust, brush, and the tree. Explore a place so deserted, the post office closed ten years ago. “This place has absolutely no resources. It resembles the post-Apocalyptic world I’ve been preparing for,” says survival expert Mr. Steve Cook. Buford? Anyone, Buford?

NORTH KOREA Chaperone: Mr. Eric Taylor Aft er taking students to Vietnam, Mr. Taylor hopes to broaden his international perspective by traveling to another communist country. When you arrive, pay your respects to Kim Il Sung, who is still technically the ruler of North Korea even though he’s been dead for 20 years. Explore Pyongyang’s secret unicorn lair. Don’t worry, the site has been verified by the Korean Central News Agency. If there’s time left on your highly supervised tour, stop by the Sinchon Museum of American War Atrocities. Enjoy your stay, you greedy imperialist.

WINTERFELL Chaperone: Mr. Ryan Griggs Journey to a place that kills off characters faster than Ms. Southworth hands out dress code violations. Battle valiantly against demons, dragons, and zombies in the Game of Thrones. “I will be taking the Robotics team and training them in the art of sword fighting,” says seasoned warrior Sir Ryan Griggs. “Hopefully they’ll all survive, so we can program our fighting strategies into the robot.” If you’re lucky you may run into Corinne Nixon lookalike, Arya Stark. Brace yourselves, Parker, for winter is coming.

JAMBA JUICE Smoothies are everywhere. In the slim hands of Hollywood A-Listers, the grubby hands of middle schoolers, and in the twirling spirit of the dancing women on their posters. Obviously, Jamba Juice is the place to be. Be prepared to enter an angry, frustrated consumer and leave relaxed and revitalized. Try a boost: “Quaker Oats,” for regularity in your movements, “Lean Advantage,” to watch the pounds cascade off of your corpulent form, or “3G,” to remember the glorious final days of 2007. Who would have guessed that mere months later, the economy would lie in ruins, and America would slump onward, a shadow of its former power? We wouldn’t have. What were we saying? Oh, seriously, try Jamba Juice. It’s not so bad.

statement. To be wholly technical, there are only so many ways a Subway can be arranged while retaining maximum efficiency. But what efficiency! Each sandwich is handcraft ed by the tender hands of a sandwich artist. Th ey start with a loaf of bread. To this loaf—traditionally considered something to be enjoyed between a family over several days— they add the pallid flesh of a deceased animal, wilted vegetables, and thick condiment. Th e end result? A sandwich too large to fi t in anyone’s mouth, and half a day’s allowance of calories. For this alone, it’s worth the trip.

PRICE: $$$$$ Mon -Fri: 6 AM - 8PM Sat: 7 AM - 8 PM Sun: 7:30 AM - 8 PM

SUBWAY Cynics might argue that if you’ve seen one Subway, you’ve seen them all, and there’s some truth to this



PRICE: $$$$$ Mon - Sat: 6AM - 11 PM Sun: Closed


One of Linda Vista’s greatest treasures, this location is resplendent in genuine, artificially antique furniture. Even though Starbucks has made it big, it still manages to capture the essence of being a tiny, independent coff ee shop that does things like drawing the coff ee menu in chalk and having open mics every Monday. Except, you know, they don’t do that. Take the time to chat with your neighbors. You never know, in 10 years the barista might be the next Jennifer Lawrence. Th e tired USD student slumped against the window, straining to absorb a few precious rays of sunlight, might be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Th e tired office drone might be a tired office drone. But he doesn’t know that. He thinks he might be a professional pool player. Th e point being, in Starbucks, anything can happen.

PRICE: $$$$$ Mon - Sat: 5 AM - 10 PM Sun: 5:30 AM - 9:30 PM

CONFESSIONS OF A SNAP-A-HOLIC remember when I first learned about Snapchat. It was a fated day; the day everything in my life changed forever. What seemed an ordinary aft ernoon would later become the point at which my life began to slowly unravel. My name is Morgan Smith, and I am a Snap-a-holic. Th e day I learned of Snapchat was a brisk April day, not unlike any other. Aft er a trans-Atlantic flight from Spain, we touched down in San Diego. Upon landing, the girl next to me immediately powered up her iPhone and clicked on a yellow icon. She took a picture of her face and proceeded to send it to three seemingly random guys. “What is that?” I asked, breathing on her shoulder. “Snapchat,” she answered, desperate for the freedom of personal space. Aft er a long pause, I continued to pry: “So, what does it do?” She looked at me. “You send pictures to people.” I must have looked perplexed, as she continued. “You send pictures to people, and then they disappear.” I was skeptical. I had questions. Where do the pictures go? When do they disappear? Rather than continuing to bother the girl, I decided to download the app as soon as I had a Wi-Fi connection. It automatically connected to my Facebook account, which enabled me with access to the username of every friend I had. I decided to give Snapchat a shot. I created a username, took a picture of myself using the front camera (yikes) and sent it to my friend Jennifer. Shortly aft erward, she replied. “Hey! Welcome to Snapchat!” I sent a captionless, emotionless selfie in response. In that moment, I felt a rush of achievement—a rush of power. I had an addiction to feed. Upon being picked up from the airport thirty minutes after landing, I didn’t speak to my mother. I was already completely enamored with Snapchat. Th e car ride home was silent as well, aside from the quiet murmur of Autumn to Ashes’ “I’m the Best at Ruining My Life.” Th e

foreshadowing of the song was shockingly accurate. Since that fateful spring day, Snapchat has taken its hold on me. Before I encountered the app, my life was fi lled with promise. I loved to play music, sports and apply myself in school; I was really goodlooking. Next time you see me meandering about the campus, look at me. I haven’t showered since 2012. I have no semblance of social skills; I’m always checking Snapchat. My sleeping patterns are nonexistent. And, why? Because I’m always checking Snapchat. I eat at inappropriate and unusual times. My life is dominated by the rush I feel whenever I receive a Snap. I spend hours, days, weeks garnering points to increase my score. I’m antsy; all my friends have given up on maintaining any kind of relationship with me because I can’t tear my eyes away from a screen for long enough to hold a meaningful conversation. I’ve been urged to seek help, but for what? I can stop any time I want. My mother’s fruitless attempts to limit my Snapchat use are met only with sobbing and wildly insane exclamations of persistent denial. I’m drawn to Snapchat for many reasons.

Th e ability to shift my own or another’s best friends list is nothing short of intoxicating. Snapchat provides eff ortless opportunities to connect with people partly because of its ease of use, but primarily because it’s so easy to lose track of a conversation that’s driven by meaningless photos of one’s face or of ARTICLE BY MORGAN SMITH PHOTOGRAPHS BY OLIVIA FIDLER

the lamp in his or her living room. Snapchat presents an opportunity to socialize without actually needing to possess any social skills. Am I guilty of this? Yes. Am I ashamed? Maybe. If you are a teenager in San Diego and you are reading this, there is an 80percent chance I already have your Snapchat username. I have probably sent you Snaps numerous times. Don’t be alarmed; this is merely a fact of life. It is the way in which I choose to go about my social affairs and you are simply a victim of the system I’ve manufactured. Everywhere I turn, the Snapchat ghost haunts me. Its colorful dance and faceless body are nothing short of enticing. How one can possibly turn away from its mysterious, emotionless face will forever remain a mystery to me.


april 2014|THE SCRIBBLE



EDITORIAL POLICY Serving as the unofficial, not-so-news magazine of the Francis Parker Upper School, Th e Scribble attempts to report on the minor, not-so-news stories on campus while providing the student body with an outdated take on campus life and culture. Th e editorial staff oversees the editing and production aspects of the magazine, but most members of the staff don’t actually volunteer a great deal of their aft er school and weekend time to work on the magazine. Any errors or complaints should be reported directly to that short, loud girl who’s always complaining about how late she was up editing this magazine, not to the authors of particular articles, which is confusing because, judging by the staff photo, the adviser wrote every article in the magazine. But seriously, the contents of Th e Scribble are satirical and are not at all factual. We repeat, Th e Scribble is not fact. No one is traveling to North Korea next year and there are far hipper coff ee shops than Starbucks. If you’re looking for one, check out The Scribe.














2 april 2014|THE SCRIBBLE

The scribe issue 4  
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