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Vol. XV, Issue 5 Francis Parker School May 2013


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Cover by Stanley Gambucci TOC Staff Page Editor’s Note by Michela Rodriguez GBU by Cian Lavin

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DEAR FRESHMAN KATIE, by Katie Kreitzer A Call to Arms by Claire Bryan GENERATION C by Stanley Gambucci GREAT EXPECTATIONS by Kasey Hutcheson YOU ARE BORING by Raphie Cantor HAIKU, BYE-KU by Claire Kim MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA by Jake Siegler MY FAIL-OSOPHY by Molly Morrison OUT IN THE WOODS, WE CHANGE OUR LIVES by Colin Grey

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The X-Factor by Audrey Yang SCRIBE SPEAKS: THE STEUBENVILLE CASE by Nishon Tyler Making the cuts by Jay Gardenswartz IMPEACHED by Arielle Swedback

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Commentary: ramen noodles and instant coffee by Olivia Fidler Scribe Explores: Little Italy by Sam Pryor BEACH, PLEASE by Brianna Goldberg and Natalie Schmidt HOT, NOT, TRENDY by Charlotte Dick-Godfrey and Caroline Merkin DRESS FOR SUCCESS by Sean Waters

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they went TO JARRAD by Jack Benoit Commentary: Legal Lies by Charlotte Dick-Godfrey LANCER NATION by Brianna Goldberg Shooting stars by Jack Benoit

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Senior SHENANIGANS by Max Feye 20 Years from now... by Soren Hansen CONFESSIONS FROM THE CLASS OF 2013 by Soren Hansen Creature Feature by Patrick Riley Last Will and tEstament by Soren Hansen and Mark Klein Quadrants by Mark Klein Class of 2013 college Map by Patrick Riley


Body Typeface: Minion Pro 10.5 pt Header Typeface: Century Gothic Bold Folio Typeface: Century Gothic Paper Stock: 100# Glossy Book Printed On: Xerox Docutech Printed By: IPS Publishing, San Diego, CA


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EDITOrIAL POLICY Serving as the official news magazine of the Francis Parker Upper School, The Scribe strives to report on the major news stories on campus while providing the student body with a cutting-edge take on campus life and culture. The editorial staff oversees the editing and production aspects of the magazine. Members of the staff also volunteer a great deal of their after-school and weekend time to work on the magazine. The editor-in-chief assumes all responsibility for the material published in The Scribe. For this reason, any errors or complaints should be reported to the editor-inchief and not to the authors of particular articles. Check out The Scribe’s website, with online articles, videos, surveys, old issues, and more at Share with us any questions, comments, or concerns you have about the magazine. Your opinions matter! Email us at Join our Facebook fanpage at to stay updated on everything Scribe-related.


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Creative Director Cian Lavin, Editor-in-Chief Michela Rodriguez, and Managing Editor Jay Gardenswartz take a break in the Social Justice Garden

photograph by Audrey Yang


For my first eight years at Parker, I was grateful for the Class of 2013. They seemed to set the bar really low with the faculty and administration, which always made my class, the Class of 2014, look spectacular. So on those Lower School mornings of Ethics with Dr. Gillingham, sixty-something of us eight-or-nine-year-olds became accustomed to having our principal sing our praises and commending us on being such a phenomenal class when all we had really done was listened to him read a storybook. He would tell our third-grade class how he wished the fourth graders could learn a thing or two from us. And we would just smile and nod and wonder how long until lunch so we could eat our chicken crispitos. The pattern followed us to middle school. Teachers of every subject seemed to be shocked when we turned in our homework and got As on our tests. And even when our class faced some low points, no one ever really seemed to make a big deal out of it. At least we weren’t the grade above us, they said. By high school, it was a running joke. How does it feel, we would ask, to be sandwiched between the legendary Class of 2012, with their offthe-charts Ivy League attendances, and the largest class of academic overachievers this school has ever seen? Students and teachers alike referred to their class, the centennial class, as a blip in Parker’s history, 125 students who would hopefully go unseen in the shadow of the class before them and the light of the one after. But after one final year with them on campus, of being told how much potential we have, how refreshing it is to have kids who love to learn, I’ve realized that the Class of 2013 is the most inspiring group of people I’ve ever known.


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Parker has a pretty precise definition of an ideal student, and the Class of 2013 never quite fulfilled it. They were never made to be the cover of the brochure of a college preparatory school. And that’s why they’re so special. They had the courage and the talent to shatter our beliefs of what a Parker student should be and show us all what a Parker student could be. They weren’t straight-A students with 4.8 GPAs. They weren’t rule-followers chugging along to the monotony of being pictureperfect-Parker students. They weren’t empty chairs at talent shows they’d long outgrown or empty bleachers at the most important games of the year. They weren’t the conventional Parker senior class. This is the most important issue The Scribe has released all year because it celebrates all that this senior class has done for us. They hung countless banners in the Field House (“Shooting Stars,” page 41), they graced us with their unique talents (“Generation C,” page 8), they put brand new places on the map (“College Map,” pages 50-51), and they challenged us to rethink who we are (“Dear Freshman Katie,” page 6). They taught us about the strength in numbers when they stormed the field at Powderpuff and stormed the stage at the talent show. They didn’t achieve excellence. They redefined it, and they did it together. Individually, each one of them is dynamic and endlessly fascinating. Together? They’re remarkable. They’ve left a more indelible mark than any class before them. Yes, now, in my ninth year at Parker, I am still grateful for the Class of 2013. Not for all that they haven’t done, but for all they have demonstrated we are capable of. Not for encouraging me to reach for the stars, but for teaching me that it’s okay to stray from the path of expectations.



T HE GOOD social justice garden


During most Friday lunches, students can be found tossing frisbees out on the Lancer lawn, squeezing groups of three onto the twoseater cafeteria benches, and battling for a spot at a library computer as kids jam the printers with last-minute print-outs. But Friday, May 3, was unlike any other Friday. Kids of all grades could be found in one place: the Social Justice Garden. The aroma of freshly grilled burgers and hotdogs gave “Soachella” a classic beach-kickback vibe while the relaxing strum of guitars and sweltering heat transported us to the Indio Valley. Senior Savannah Philyaw kicked the show off with her sunshine smile and T-Swift-esque tunes; Ryan and Sean followed up with the classic Unplugged songs we’ve heard and praised so many times before; Lightning Starts Fire brought the house down with their charisma and creativity as students wondered, who is Indio Romero and how did he get to miss school to play just three songs?; and Pep Band brought us home with some of the crowd’s favorite pump-up jams. The concert was one of the best events the school has seen all year, and the garden finally fulfilled its destiny: a student hangout. With a scenic, artsy, relaxed atmosphere that can’t be beat the Social Justice Garden offers us so much more. It’s the future of ASB kickbacks, student club meetings, and is becoming the newest campus hot spot.

There is a place on campus more foul than the boys’ locker room at halftime, more scarring than the tri-school dance floor, and more depressing than this season of American Idol. Upon setting foot on the treacherous grounds of the Upper School Drop-Off, any sense of security is pried from our innocent hands. The masses of roaring Mercedes and BMWs moving at speeds up to 5 miles per hour make trying to travel across the Drop-Off path more dangerous than running out into the middle of the I-5. Thankfully, students are now shielded from T HE BAD harm behind the safety of the middle school gym and the cafeteria, because nothing has put students in more danger than the death trap of parking lot the Drop Off. Just kidding, not once have we ever come close to being detour hit by the cars there. Being forced to walk around the path is slightly depressing and most kids don’t think twice about just going around the gate anyway. This whole situation has become a little over-dramatic.



people during AP’s

It’s 7:15 Monday morning, and the gremlins have taken over the Parker parking lot. Flip-flops, baggy sweatpants, and ugly-scrunchie girl pulls up in her Honda Civic, chilling with no make up on. Basketball shorts, sandals, and I-didn’t-take-a-shower boy slumps across the pathway wondering if he remembered to put on deodorant this morning, not that he has anyone to impress. High-strung and “humble” clamors through the hallways screeching about how she’s going to get a 1 when she practically cheerleads about her 4.5 GPA. It’s okay, though, because the only hot dates she’s been having for the past month are with Princeton Review. You then enter your testing room where nervous eater is trolling the snack table and last-minute Larry is finally starting his AP registration. Let’s not forget sniffles next to you whose pile of tissues is the size of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Meanwhile, the trembling eraser is causing a 7.0 on the Richter scale every time he makes a mistake. Let’s face it kids, for these two weeks of May our school is a moaning, groaning, stress-eating tragedy. We understand that it’s stressful but let’s try to keep up some basic hygiene and manners, thank you.



Who doesn’t dig the new patio by the arts buildings, the fountain that will soon grace our quad, and the paths that keep popping up all over campus? Thank you, Path-Fairy, for feeding our laziness, going around those bushes was really too much work.


All the single ladies and the solo bros we support you. Girls, get up in the club and do your own little thing and boys, she ain’t going to tie you down. These days, who needs all the drama of askings or the price of a Prom ticket and corsage? Gone are the days of being stabbed in the chest with a boutonniere or being abused in the act of “dance floor rubbing.”


The month of May is jam-packed with some incredible festivals and musical events that are sure to inspire more teenage angst than the last Miley Cyrus movie. Yet at the same time, I’m a little too broke and stressed to be going to any social gatherings right now.

Bye-Bye, Big Girl

Sorry that you incoming freshmen ladies have to buy new skorts, but I feel a whole lot less creepy when I can’t see your Tinkerbell underwear.


#TeamNoOne #PeopleCanActuallySeeEverythingYouPost #LolThatIsn’tPrivate #TweetThat

Premature Summer

I’m all for the warm, San Diego weather but I’d rather be enjoying it in a bathing suit than covering up the pit-stains on my Lands’ End polo.


Creative Director may 2013 THE SCRIBE


the scribe 2012-13





That flower in your hair: you’ll regret it as a sophomore, laugh at it as a junior, and wish you could wear it on a headband to Coachella as a senior. What’s Coachella, you ask? It’s half-naked people, loud music, and the bass beat of uncensored sexuality thumping from one end of the desert to the next. You’d call it sin now, but you’ll call it bliss later. Your political beliefs will reverse and your religious beliefs will too. You’ll stop going to church, but it won’t make you any more immoral than you were yesterday when you judged the girl to the left of you. You don’t know her story; you don’t even know yours yet. Your best friends now won’t be later. They won’t betray you and you won’t betray them, but the dependency that once kept you shouting inside jokes at each other across the quad and linking arms in the lunch line will surrender to independence. Every year you’ll make a friend, or five, and lose a friend, or ten. You’ll never mean to be mean, but you won’t always mean to be nice; you’ll regret that one day and it will make you better the next. The friends you’ll make four years from now aren’t any less valuable than the ones you’ll make tomorrow; some things really are worth waiting for. Like your first kiss: it won’t be like the ones in the fairy tales you innocently read ten years ago or the Disney shows you shamelessly watched 10 minutes ago. Don’t sit around waiting for it—apparently every kiss begins with Kay, not Katie K. Your friends will have theirs

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before you—you will have cut-across bangs and your Christian club membership. But someday, the kiss will come and it will change you; it will not only sew together the insecuritymade moth holes in your self-confidence, but it will also make new ones. It will make you wear more makeup and less clothing. It will make you think more about who you should be for him, and less about who you should be for yourself. It will give you the opportunity to change who you are to attract attention—don’t take it. You’ll become who you should be in time and you won’t need anyone’s help getting there.

You’ll become who you

should be in time, and you won’t need anyone’s help getting there.

You’ll miss the days when your only loves were your cat and your imaginary friend, or when your biggest heartbreak was over your kindergarten crush shoving you off the swingset. You felt like your world was ready to shatter into a million asymmetrical, broken-heart-shaped pieces—high school will feel like that sometimes. Somehow the universe stayed intact back then and somehow it will stay intact again. And somehow, you’ll miss ninth grade too: the innocence, the color-coded binder. You’ll miss caring enough to type up study guides

for every test and finding a thrill in a complicated geometry problem unraveling itself at the tip of your pencil. You’ll miss having the guts to join Academic League—you might wish you’d stayed and you might not, but you’ll never regret something you joined and stayed in. Extracurriculars will eat up your life, bleed unforgivingly onto your report card. You’ll get an A- average for three years, and a Baverage for the last; the last year will be the best year. Don’t spend hours editing profile pictures: you’ll delete them in two years. Your baby fat will melt away, your womanly fat will come out to play, and the girl you see in the mirror will suddenly become unfamiliar: don’t wish she wasn’t there. You’ll be the babbling philosopher in one class and the “Why am I here?” in the next. You’ll sprain your ankle, play no sports for three years, and go into the summer of the fourth with a lacrosse-goalie-glove tan on your arms. You’ll cower in the back of math class for four years, and you’ll teach your journalism class for the last; the last year will be the best year. Your mom will let you get your license someday; it may take a year of her acrylic-nailed hand joining yours on the wheel and her voice raising to astronomical volumes, but she’ll let you. And you’ll know she was right when you’re the only one of your friends who knows how to parallel park—and drive with your knees at 103 on the highway. Speed limits and rules will matter for three years, and be broken the last. And the last year will be the best year.


I used to dream a lot. I dreamed on top of six story­ –high skyscrapers, I dreamed upon big fluffy clouds, I dreamed with larger-than-life characters. I dreamed of being twenty-six or thirty-two and owning my own magazine and writing my own novels. I dreamed of living in New York and Connecticut and in a white-picketfenced house. I dreamed for a place less dull than the Friday night movie theater of my middle school nights. I dreamed for a place less monotonous than sleepovers in Mission Hills. I dreamed for a place less belittling than the life I felt too old to be living in. But the simplicity of my dreams lay in the fact that I never dreamed, or even thought, of my immediate future. I never wondered what life in four or five years would be like for me. I idolized my brother’s high school yearbooks, but I never thought about my own. I can remember sitting at an Upper School open house as an eighth grader, staring at seniors who said that Parker is the perfect place to find who you are. That when you graduate Parker you will have found your passion and you will know what you are going to be. I didn’t believe them. But four years later I can honestly say Parker has given me the best years of my life. And this isn’t true for some prospective student panel; this is true for me. Sometimes I want the steps of the innocent, the hesitant, and the insecure back. I want the Parker that people didn’t feel too privileged to be a part of. The Parker with students not afraid of any change to a mission statement or new rule. A Parker where the list of “what-ifs” and regrets is nonexistent because each one of us wakes up and remembers that we live in a palace of opportunity. Because when I flip back through my high school yearbook I choose to define Parker by what it has given me, not what it has cheated me


out of. I think of mornings spent sitting between the shelves of the library, afterschool bus rides with golf girls, “J-Unit” (Journalism class, 2009) in New York City in March. Early-morning runs to AP Biology zero period with my sister. Cold nights listening to “Hallelujah” on repeat in Room 119. Bowls of strawberries to share with the lunch table. Scribe scavenger hunts and dance mixes. 11pm school nights where the lights across campus shut down and we screamed in the silence. Long talks in my car after cheer practice. Lunches under the trees in the quad and explorations in

I never would

have imagined any of it, that the life I dreamt of would find me here in glass-lined classrooms.

the canyon. The best conversations on the best slabs of concrete. Days spent in “the office” and long walks back from it. I think of a Parker where I was young, where I wasn’t expected to be anyone. Where I was a shy face and a small pencil in Physics class. Parker invites you in; it summons you, arms you, and tells you to take action. But it is not always easy. If you want to make the most of this place, you can’t sit back and expect it to do the work for you. You have to act; get on stage, meet the new kids, sign your name at every booth on the quad during the clubs fair. You have to fight for Parker to become this place: a place where Facebook conversations become small novels, lunch periods become the saving point of your day, old couches and bean bags are valued as much as free birthday cake, and

teachers become the ones you cry to rather than your parents. A place where five hours of sleep is a generous amount because life becomes too cool to worry about sleep. A place where friends turn into siblings and the sunsets on campus before you even think about going home. I never would have imagined any of it, that the life I dreamt of would find me here in glass-lined classrooms. That I’d be challenged, enchanted, and enthralled by a future just a few steps ahead of me. That I’d be inspired to fight anyone to say that this place isn’t nearly perfect. What is most thrilling to me now is the fact that I get to do this all over again. I get to walk onto a campus as a new student in a few months, and in four years it’ll be a place where I will jump to be a tour guide. That is what I have Parker to thank for, the fact that I now know I don’t need to be in a big city to fulfill dreams, I don’t need to be dressed in black or aged or experienced. I can be part of my own clouds and movies and even white picket fences and be happy as long as I’m fighting for life to be fascinatingly new and dangerously complicated, as long as I’m fighting for something.

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This is about me: I spend hours in my closet choosing the day’s uniform couture; I study color theory, shape, value, hoping to conjure up a masterpiece in art class. At dance, my body translates the beauty of music and rhythm with my feet as its scribe. At 10pm I sit tinted blue by the emanating computer light, absorbed in the final visual touches on The Scribe. 18 years later, my life is defined by my art. My life is art. Art was a gift from my mother with which I could take my destiny into my own hands and rise like a phoenix out of the ashes of my existence. Art gave me the ability to define myself. This is about you: Generation Y: “narcissistic,” “electronically absorbed,” “immature,” whatever. The definition of Generation Y is essentially a second-trimester comment from a senior English teacher, something I, along with many other of my peers, have already read. I needed another letter, another variable, something that wasn’t sterile, linear—something that wasn’t at the end of the alphabet to define us. I needed something I could define on my own terms—C. C. It is simplistic in its existence, minimalistic, almost basic in its continuous path but complicated in its slighted curve. One singular motion uninterrupted by sharpened corners, connecting bridges—it’s modern. It


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beckons. Its curved edges seem to suggest a covered space, not simply to occupy, but to be nurtured within. C is motherly. C is soft. C is free expression. C is also the Class of 2013’s midtrimester average. But above all, C is creativity, and within its curvature I, my class, and my entire generation will stay. The Class of 2013 succeeded the Class of 2012, a class that is often cited as the most genius class to roam around 6501 Linda Vista Road. The Class of 2014 might be the most motivated. The Class of 2013 is undoubtedly the worst. But the Class of 2013 also happens to be the centennial class. And in this simple fact is where all of this starts to make sense. The Class of 2013 is not a sick punchline 100 years in the making, but a turning point, a mirror for Parker to gaze in. In its glassy reflection does not stand an image of the present but an image of the future, a future wrought by generation C. A future defined by art. This is about us: Study our college list, I dare you, turn to page 50 and take it in. The first thing you looked for: Harvard, Stanford, Yale. I know you, you go to Parker, it’s been pounded into your DNA. You turn the page, nothing to see. But maybe you notice something else. Maybe you see Alexandra Alemany at RISD. Maybe you see Raphie Cantor at the USC School of Cinematic Arts;

Savannah Philyaw at James Madison; Ceci Jordan at Columbia College Chicago; Ryan Watanabe at Berklee College of Music; Kaitlin Garza at California College of the Arts; Molly O’Meara at Elon University. Maybe you see me, NYU Tisch Class of 2017. Maybe you see us all, but you won’t notice. You’ve been told that arts are nothing more than empty credits that, if you’re lucky, you get to miss when your academic doubles and your sports dismissals take precedence. Artistic expression is not a job and the basis of a four-year education to you, but to me, to my class, to generation C, art is our schooling. Art is everything. These colleges exist in a different register. The futures and dreams on those pages are of a frequency that doesn’t make noise to the Harvardbound, the AP hoards, the collegeprep minds. These are artists on their way not to discover newfound chemical equations or give the greatest boob job in Orange County but to create brilliant art. In 20 years I have nowhere I plan to be. I will not be a physicist, a businessman, financially or mentally stable. I actually wish the opposite. I, like my peers, just wish to be artistically beautiful, to impact the world through voices, bodies, hands, and minds. We wish to be artists. Class of 2013, this is my ode to you. Parker, this is my defense against you, my insignificant call for change. And to that mocha-skinned child, the one with the flaking nail polish, the paint stains on his newly minted ballet shoes, the lost addition worksheet, and 22 white teeth all fighting for center stage: this is the mantra I am writing for you— the one you have already written yourself. I am a work of art. We are a work of art. We are not X, Y, or Z. We are not Ivy bound. We are not A students, but we wouldn’t want to be. A’s are overworked, cliche, and ugly— C is better. I’m a C student, and I’m damn proud of it.




There are no grammaticallycorrect, 10.5-sized Minion Pro words I know capable of describing an experience that has fundamentally altered the person I thought I was becoming and the world I thought I was growing up in. My plans, my views, my appearance: everything changed in some way during the four years I spent chasing the high school experience. High school, as I think we can all attest, is the most indescribable experience we go through in the first 18 years of our lives. We laugh, we cry, we think that we’ll figure out who we are. I certainly expected that I would. I expected a lot out of high school. If there’s one thing I have discovered about myself with extreme certainty, it’s that I have high expectations for life. Throughout high school, so many of the moments I questioned came from expecting too much. I expected too much of the people around me, too much of myself, too much of life in general; I had false certainty that, just as it does at the end of every cliché high school movie, everything would work out perfectly. I’ve certainly been knocked down a few pegs the last few years: I’ve lost elections, I’ve lost friends, I’ve disappointed the people around me and myself. But it’s a blessing to have realized now, rather than later, that it’s okay to have things not work out the way you want them to. I’m happy to have experienced some kind of failure now, so that when it inevitably happens later, I’ll be ready and willing to adjust my expectations rather than cry myself to sleep for a week. We all believe that by the time we graduate high school, we will be

able to understand how it all works; we’ll be able to comprehend the bizarre and simultaneously fantastic social experiment that has been the last four years of our lives. I, at least, figured that come graduation, I would have discovered where I fit in the puzzle. I went through all the same phases that the typical teenager does: there was freshman-year Kasey who thought she would be a varsity athlete, sophomore-year Kasey who studied too much, junior-year Kasey who thought she ran the school, and now, senior year Kasey who struggles daily to find the motivation to do her work. At any point in time in high school, I could have easily told someone exactly where I thought I’d be in five years. I could have told someone my goals and how everything and everyone in my life was perfectly aligned in their little checked off box in my planner. A part of me still wishes I could say that were true. Life seemed more manageable back when I thought I knew who I was. I wish I could say that every high school senior will know his or her place—or even have a place— when the time comes to strut across the commencement stage. Yet even as I make that wish, I feel safe in saying that although Parker might not have taught me who I am, it has prepared me to figure it out soon or to just be okay with the idea that who we are is constantly evolving. Attempting to pin down exactly what part we’ll play in the world is an impossible task, and my freshman year expectation that I would know and have it all is just one more expectation I’ve had to learn to adjust.

Life isn’t always going to be perfect. That, above anything else, has taken me the longest to understand. I am not going to write the best senior editorial The Scribe has ever seen, and I am not going to walk across the stage on June 1 knowing exactly who I am and where I’m going. In all honesty, I don’t think any of us graduates will know. Although it’s not what I expected, high school has been a journey I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’m headed off to a school I never saw myself at, unsure of more things now than I was when I entered, but the unknown is no longer as terrifying as it once was because I understand that even unexpected moments can lead to exciting adventures. Expectations are dangerous things: it’s true that when you set the bar too high, the disappointment can be all the more crushing. However, sometimes the reward can be that much better after you realize that life is best when you accomplish so much more than you thought you could. High school is nothing if not unexpected, and that’s the beauty of it all. So rather than setting the bar lower in order to avoid disappointment, expect that everything will be fabulous and be okay with the idea that it might not be. Even if life isn’t quite like what High School Musical promised you it would be, you get to define what these best four years of your life mean. Make Troy and Gabriella proud.

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Our school possesses a few hidden treasures. Many of you youngsters don’t know that the Green Boy statue outside of the library was once a time capsule that held crappy eighttracks. Most of you probably haven’t heard that the first event ever held in the Field House was a men’s volleyball match featuring the USA vs. the Netherlands. Many of you are probably unaware that the circle of benches between the English and Social Studies buildings is called “South Point.” If you were to stand on the South Point plaque in the center of the circle, and simply mutter to yourself, you would find that the sound at that tiny spot echoes effortlessly back at you. We have the privilege of going to the “finest prep school west of the Housatonic River,” where we have small classrooms with big minds at work. There are just under 500 students, and we enjoy chatting with friends, as high school students do. But unlike our counterparts in large schools who swim in a vast ocean, we swim in a fish tank. The room for social interaction has a glass wall thicker than the ones at SeaWorld. My biggest complaint about Parker during the first three years of my high school career was that wall. It seemed that with anything anyone did, whether it was public or private, everyone seemed to know about it. Much like standing at South Point, I would whisper, and the echoes would thrust it back to my ears. I didn’t feel free to be myself (even though I was


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incessantly told to do so) because I felt like there was bound to be someone out there who wouldn’t like me, and I couldn’t be someone who was unliked. So I sat in my shell for three years, not knowing that it was possible to break free—until the Friday before the first day of my senior year. I received a text asking me if I would volunteer to be Lancer Man for that week. Being Lancer Man was a dumb idea. As a matter of fact, RALLYCOMM was a dumb idea. I say was because I know today that they’re among my better ideas. But back in September, being Lancer Man was still a weekly swallowing of my pride and RALLYCOMM was just a thought I had once on the toilet. I was terrified of each prospect in its own right, because, well, what if someone made fun of me because of it? What if I thought I was doing something cool and I ended up just being some idiot covering himself in Picasso’s piss and a dumb stitched cape each Friday. As it turned out, people liked the whole Lancer Man thing. So I presented my toilet idea, RALLYCOMM, to a few friends in the Viterbi, and they liked it. And that’s when I realized what I had been doing wrong for three years. South Point echoes back to you, no matter if it’s sunny or rainy, an outburst or a peep. Senior year taught me that you need to yell on the sunny days. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that peer pressure is all bad. It certainly can be, but sometimes,

peer pressure can be great. Sure, peer pressure can convince you that being Lancer Man is a bad idea or that RALLYCOMM could crash and burn. But peer pressure can also push your friends to come to Winter Formal, to an Academic League match, or maybe even to a state championship volleyball match. Parker can be four years of whispered gossip inching its way back to your ears. But it can also be your amphitheater, a stage where your proud shouts will project to the back rows of students who are barely listening. The things you do senior year echo louder than the first three combined, because it’s simply way more beautiful. There’s something absolutely gorgeous about this being the last year. It has the unique quality of closing a chapter of your own, personal life and determining how your classmates will remember you forever. Chances are that graduation day will be the last day you will see many of your classmates until your reunion. Isn’t that stunning? So, that means you have x days before you wave goodbye to your classmates. What are you going to do between today and then that will echo through their memory? It’s not going to be reading this article. Run along now, children, the most amazing things in life can never be told, so go do them.


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Photograph courtesy of Jake Siegler

inigo montoya TALES OF A TODDLER




I believed I was full-blooded Mexican until I reached the age of 10. This conception was largely due to the fact that my strongest childhood influences were middle-aged, cappuccino-colored Hispanic women named Maria and Olivia. I was raised on a diet of baked tortillas coated in two rounds of butter, and drizzled— no, drenched—in brown sugar. I was spoon-fed milk clouded in honey, and consequently, my youthful indulgences were easily noticeable by the rubber bands that wrapped themselves around the crevices of my arm fat. I was a sumo wrestler trapped in two and a half feet of Jewish-American roundness, fawned over by aunts and uncles and passersby, but ultimately, I always returned to my faux-Mexican roots. Maria. I remember sitting in Maria’s lap watching Mexican telenovelas instead of Arthur, Barney, or Dragon Tales; my jello-like frame


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rocked back and forth in her arms like a teetertotter. I remember watching my parents walk through the front door as they came home from work, trying desperately to communicate with Maria, our Spanish-speaking nanny, when I was the only one in the family who could. The one who clung for dear life to this woman whom I knew nothing about, other than the simple fact that she loved me unconditionally. Olivia. My second Hispanic influence was Señora Olivia Flores, my elementary school Spanish teacher, whose face was coated with a layer of rum-colored wrinkles. She had greying hairs that she didn’t think anyone noticed amidst her darkened black thick, but I saw them every time I leaned in to hug her good morning. Against my will, she forced me to run for president of the César Chávez Club, a city-wide, student-run organization commemorating the values taught by César Chávez. I ran, won,


when you’re 10 years old there’s no ‘normal’ outlined for you; you create your own normal.

and conquered. I was truly—as much as a fourth grader could be—on top of the world. There’s a picture in an old, dusty photo album packed away in a box in our garage of my first march as president of the club. It’s something straight out of a civil rights march, or an Occupy protest, I’m not entirely sure, except that all of the marchers are half-sized and much less enthusiastic. But there we are, hundreds of adolescent Hispanic boys and girls led by their fearless leader who still hadn’t realized he was of a different skin color. They were brown, I was white. There we were different. But they fought, and I fought right alongside

them, and there we were the same. But I didn’t care about being different, and I certainly didn’t care that to me, César Chávez was no more than a third-grade research paper topic. Because when you’re 10 years old there’s no “normal” outlined for you; you create your own normal. You’re fearless because you don’t know yet that there’s anything worth fearing. You’re careless because cares haven’t yet etched their way into becoming meaningful. As time goes on, it becomes harder to be brave, harder to stand tall. It becomes more recognizable that we are all clothed and masked, never again as naked as we were when we were 10. I’m no longer in touch with those ladies; their memories have nearly faded and with them, so has much of my venturous persona. I’m not the free spirit I was when I parted the Sandbox Sea or stood king of the circular climbing gym that taunted my fear of heights, but I want to be. If I have any advice to offer, it is this: discomfort is the best kind of comfort. Sure, it’s easy when we’re young, but although we shed small parts of our identity as we age, we hold onto the same elements that molded us. I am still two-and-a-half feet of chubby, squinty-eyed purity, still four-and-a-half feet of courageous leadership, and always will be six-and-a-half feet of organic Judaism wanting to be better. We’re told not to be someone we’re not, but I can’t help feeling the fault in that cliche. Because why can’t we be Mexican when we know we’re light-skinned, sheltered Judaism? And why can’t we scale buildings when we know we’re afraid of falling? The only thing keeping us from these feats is the looming recognition that that’s not who we are. Screw that. Be someone you’re not, for the better, do something that you don’t want to do, challenge yourself to meet everyone you never thought you could meet, and love them, the same way my women loved me.



There are events in everyone’s life that are so universally important, or happy, that when we actually live them ourselves, we are disappointed. More often than not, the moment doesn’t feel like we thought it would because we’re so caught up in the Prom pictures, the graduation dinner reservations, the wedding rehearsals, and the baby showers to recognize the raw beauty of reaching a milestone. In four days, I will finish the milestone I’ve been carving for 15 years. The day will be filled with overwhelming pride, a celebration of our accomplishments. But no mention will be made of the failures, the notorious “your class doesn’t do any work,” the impeachment of our president, the lowest cumulative grade average recorded in a Parker senior class, and the colleges we didn’t get into. And every time we disappoint people—teachers, friends, ourselves—we are left with a choice: to shut our eyes defiantly and refuse to believe we deserve to be punished, that we’re being exploited. Or we can look in the mirror and swallow our decision, taste the disappointment, and make a coonscious decision to grow. My junior year, I spent a lot of time looking in the mirror. I made a poor decision that was followed by a question of my place at this school. I had hurt the people closest to me, and dug myself into a hole only I could

get myself out of. Somewhere in my 15 years at Parker, I had forgotten that I should be entitled to nothing here; that this place, this family, and these people were not rightfully mine. Five months later, I filled out an ASB application nervously, wondering if I had any chance of winning. As elections began, that worry was soon nullified: I was running unopposed. Only two people out of 125 who wanted to represent our class. And sure enough, I began my position with Eleventh Grade Dean Mr. Paul Esch telling me that we would not have a Junior Day of Fun because too many kids that hadn’t completed their community service hours. But two weeks and dozens of Ladle Fellowship forms later, I watched the soon-to-be seniors laugh and pile into jumpees in a kind of happiness that was new: earned. In September, I screamed in a pit of battered and bruised girls, proud powderpuff warriors hungry for our trophy. In December, I watched the stress of the last college applications wash away in a roar of laughter at boys rapping at the holiday dinner. In March, I buried my head in my hands, questioning if I could represent my class anymore, if I could back the impeachment decision I felt had broken our ASB. I looked in the mirror and realized I had to represent this class because I represent what it is. Kind, spontaneous, impulsive, loving, loud, proud, artistic, much more remembered for the effect of my personality than the college I was going to. We will be remembered for the kind of people we were, not the work we did or didn’t do. And these people,

photographs courtesy of Molly Morrison

these 125 RALLYCOMM founders, guys’ cheer champions, talent show stars, robotics experts, OGs, state championship athletes, these people would never have been made without their failures. All too often, this place tries to sweep our mistakes under the rug. But you can’t get up if you don’t fall down. You cannot grow without failing. Every time this class has been told no, we have united and stood for our cause. We have always known that our requests, our motivation, and our letter grades may seem unrealistic, maybe even undeserved. What about me? Did I deserve a second chance? Do I deserve to be called a student leader after being suspended twice? I think a lot of people would say no. And if you had told me last fall what I would achieve in the next year, I never would have believed you. I am this class. I represent, stand for, and support every aspect of this class. I am not proud of a decision I made last year. But I am proud of the hundreds of decisions I made after it. Earning the best grades of my high school career the next trimester, joining ASB, being a part of a state championship team, getting accepted to the college of my dreams, finding three jobs to make that dream possible. With every failure, there was a success; every denial, an acceptance. This year has been the best of my life, and I have 124 people to thank for it. Thank you for dreaming wild and stupid fantasies. Thank you for an unforgettable Powderpuff victory. Thank you for the late nights, early mornings, and forgotten homework. Thank you, Class of 2013, for always choosing to be people before students. may 2013 THE SCRIBE





The most valuable experiences I had during my high school years did not come from any classroom. In fact, the experiences I have learned the most from—about myself, people, life—came approximately 3,000 miles from campus on a little eleven-acre patch of land in Ontario, Canada. RKY Camp is a summer camp where I have gone to for at least two weeks every summer since I was in third grade. T For the past nine summers I have left my comfortable life in San Diego for plywood cabins nestled among a thick forest of oak and maple trees; a life of mosquito bites and dirt; a life with some of the best friends I have ever had. A truly happy life. The first seven summers that I went to RKY, I was a camper. My seventh summer at RKY, my time was doubled and I stayed for a monthlong program known as counselorin-training (CIT). CIT is a leadership program with the goal of shaping campers into counselors. In CIT, I learned many useful skills such as leadership and conflict resolution. But the real learning came when I was given actual responsibility. My eighth and ninth summers at camp were both spent as a counselor. In that time, I spent two months, or four camp sessions, at camp each summer, and although I did counsel cabin groups for two sessions, my real passion was in counseling special needs kids and adults. RKY is different from other camps because it hosts a couple of mentally disabled kids and adults


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per session. My job for most of my camp career was one-on-one counselor, a personal counselor for a disabled kid or adult. Throughout my time, I counseled six different kids and adults, all with varying degrees of disability. I counseled kids who were very self sufficient and only really needed a one-on-one counselor to monitor social interaction, and I also counseled people who were entirely non-verbal, had no alternative method of communication, and needed practically everything done for them. A person learns a lot about himself when he is so focused on taking care of another person that he forgets to take care of himself. Throughout my time as a oneon-one counselor, I had many ups and downs. I have come to laugh at many of the experiences I have had which, at the time, seemed terrible. One year, I counseled an eleven-year-old boy. He was the pickiest eater that I have ever encountered, so I typically asked him about every meal to see if he would eat what was being served. On the day they served pizza for lunch I assumed he would eat pizza so I did not ask. We sat down in the dining hall, and when the square pan pizza was brought to the table he told me, “I won’t eat square pizza.” I looked at him perplexed and said, “Are you serious? It’s just the same as other pizza.” He looked me right in the eyes and told me he would not eat the square pizza, so I went back to the kitchen,

The RKY swiming docks and diving tower. Photograph courtesy of

grabbed a square piece of pizza, cut it into a circle, and brought it to him. He looked at it, took a bite, looked at me and said, “I can still taste the square, you need to get me a new piece.” At this point, I was really frustrated. I did not understand how someone could possibly taste square, but I took a bite of the pizza and told him that I too could taste the square. I asked him if he would eat triangular pizza and he said yes, so I trekked around the dining hall searching for an acceptably triangular piece of pizza. I went up to tables and asked them if they had just one triangular piece. Eventually, after about ten minutes of looking, I found a relatively triangular piece of pizza, took it back to our table and gave it to him. He took a bite and said, “I can still taste a little square, but I’ll eat it anyways.” With all the seemingly high points comes a some low points. I have been punched, kicked, bitten, scratched, headbutted, and called awful things. I have had to restrain one of my older campers, a 19 year old kid who was 6’2” and 250 pounds, because he was trying to attack a nine year old boy. Although I usually only tell the lighthearted stories, there have been many low points, and it is the combination of these two that has made me who I am today. A phrase that is used often at camp is, “Out in the woods, we change our lives,” and I truly believe that my experiences at RKY camp have changed my life.


ft the2012-13 scribe 2012-13 the scribe


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claire klein Why did you decide to run for president?

What are some changes you would like to make?

After what happened this year, the leadership at the top wasn’t what it should have been. It was that kind of example that made people see what works and ultimately, what makes a strong ASB leader. This was something I wanted and it was something I knew would be good for the school. I wasn’t the person on ASB that knew as a freshman, walking onto campus, that I wanted to be president my senior year. It was something that I came to realize through my experiences and through seeing what kind of leader I am.

I want to make freshman connection less awkward. I want to provide things for people to do other than just sitting and mingling. Also, assemblies can be fun! I want to use that time we have together during assemblies to have some fun. Hopefully we can also do a lot more student recognition during assemblies and make it a regular occurrence. I also want to up guidelines and a strict schedule for when club things are due so the process is a lot easier.

How will you cater to the interests of each class?

I see ASB as the bridge between the administration and the students. ASB’s goal is to make that the students’ experiences in high school are as enjoyable as possible. And sometimes that does include something that kids don’t want on a short-term, but it’s better in the long-run. That can be really hard, but the ASB has to make decisions that are in the end it’s better for the students’ well-being, for the ASB, and for the school. Of course, if anyone has any questions or ideas, I encourage them to talk to me.

People say that freshmen are ignored, but I am going to make sure that that doesn’t happen next year. I’m going to make sure that the sophomores experience a nice transition into their second year of high school. As for the juniors, I want to do my best in making sure that they’re not too stressed. The seniors are going to have an incredible year as well. The entire sutdent body just needs to make sure we’re leaving with a positive impact. How has ASB prepared you for the future?

I’ve joked about going into education and becoming a head of school, maybe even coming back to Parker. I’ve also considered being an event coordinator and going into communications, but no matter what I decide to do later on, I’m glad I have experience with planning a broad scale of events, working on a team, and leading a group of people.


torri johnson

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How do you define the ASB?

What is one of your favorite ASB memories?

One of my favorite memories on ASB was looking into the crowd during the Battle of the Sexes. Actually seeing our student body getting so into the event and enjoying themselves so much made me so happy. There’s this rush you feel when you’re planning a great event and when it goes well, all you can be is happy. Seeing the students having a good time was my favorite part by far.


emory hingorani Why do you want to be a part of ASB?

I want to be a part of ASB to positively contribute to the school, and hopefully create lasting changes and memories for the student body. What are some of your goals for next year?

I feel like a lot of times the people who are elected have opinions that might not reflect the desires of the student body. One of my ideas on how to do this would be by developing a “state of the union” for the ASB. We could have a small optional meeting during lunch in the commons once a month. I also want to improve student support through clubs and student groups. Support is everything from posters to club grants to just getting new clubs up and running. Lastly, I want to expand my position. Everyone knows that I take notes and that I send them out, but I want to use YouTube and other forms of social media to communicate. What do you want to change about the ASB?

This is really cliche at this point, but I want to make ASB something that students respect, but also feel comfortable approaching. I also want students to feel that ASB is representing the whole school, not just catering to certain groups or interests.

mackenzie rowe How are you going to help with student funding?

Although I do not want to take away any funding opportunities from the clubs on campus, I would like to have ASB bake sales, and muffin sales. One thing that I have wanted to do ever since I ventured into the Archive Room is make Parker paraphernalia more available to the student body. I didn’t even know that there were Francis Parker blankets, mugs, and portable cups until this past month! I would like to start making those available through sales to the student body throughout the year, possibly at the tailgates before games, and at events, like Homecoming! What is your favorite event to fund?

My favorite event throughout the entire year is always Homecoming! Even though this is my favorite event, I am sure others have favorites of their own that they would like to see expanded next year. Students tend to stress out towards the end of the year, so I would like to have more kickbacks during lunch at the end of the year before finals and APs start. What are looking forward to next year?

As a new member of ASB, I am looking forward to making the student body happy. I have seen what works, and what doesn’t in the past few years. I have always wanted to be a part of ASB, and I am so thrilled to be working with such a great team next year.

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sean waters What events do you plan?

The current Director of Events position is strictly Homecoming and Prom, but now we’re looking at moving the Winter Formal under my position because I started and headed it for the past two years. How much time do you spend planning these events?

For the 2012 Winter Formal, I called about eighteen venues. Because we had a tough budget to work with, I wanted to make sure that we had a good location that encompassed everything we needed and catered to what the students would enjoy. I actually don’t have as much of a say in the actual Homecoming dance, because the school parents plan that, but I’m in charge of making sure the Homecoming week is executed well. What made you want to run for this position?

A lot of people told me that I had to run for Director of Events because I have a lot of experience with event organizing and throwing parties. I work well and communicate well with different people, which allows me to ensure that every dance is an amazing experience and that each of them include a variety of cool and unexpected features. What’s a unique idea you have for a future event?

Those are a secret, so people will just have to wait and see. But get ready for a great Homecoming, Winter Formal, and Prom. They will be definitely be events that you will remember.


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grace sellick What are your goals for next year?

I hope to find some other alternatives to communicating information. Right now, we are using Facebook and posters around school as well as the daily bulletin. ASB even has an instagram, although nobody really posts in it. But I’m hoping to upgrade instagram so that more people can look at it, and I may even create a Francis Parker twitter account so the student body can know right on the spot about certain things. So I want to be able to expand on the use of different social networks and different types of media in order to get the word out. Why do you enjoy being on the ASB?

ASB is fantastic, and I think a lot more people should run for positions. So if students were more interested in ASB, that would be awesome because I know they would love it. As for me, I am extremely excited for the coming year. What is the general environment of ASB?

ASB is a family. We got through a lot of things together and are always trying to help each other out. Especially this year. Also everyone in ASB is open minded, funny, outgoing, and creative. I am not afraid to show who I am or make a fool out of myself. And in ASB you have to be like that because you constantly have to harass people to remind them or get to come to events.


“ “ athena zander What is something new you would want to organize for next year?

I’d love to have an Earth Week Fair! I know Balboa Park puts on an amazing one and this year was a great springboard for more events throughout the week next year. I hope to show our students how simple changes in lifestyle can make a huge impact and that they have a good time learning! What was a personal experience that made you appreciate community service?

I’ve worked at My Girlfriend’s Closet, which is an organization that provides stylish clothes for girls who do not have the means to get them. MGC collects the clothes and then creates a store-like atmosphere where the girls can shop for free. I love helping out girls my age with shopping. Sometimes I take for granted all that I have and these experiences remind me of how lucky I am. Why is it important to be aware?

I think that awareness, both local and global, is especially important for a well-rounded student. It’s important for students to know what’s happening and to know what’s happening in the world so they can be aware and relate to others in the community. I don’t need to report to anyone, so I can really create the Awareness Director position. I’m really excited about the fact that I have a lot of freedom on the Executive Council because it will be fun while I plan different events.

“ “ “ “ “ check out our website for more interviews with the Executive Council


We should make sure that the school feels a sense of togetherness and makes some really great memories. I really want ASB to not only focus on making those memories, but also to focus on making the policies that make day-today life at Parker easier and happen more seamlessly so that everything is the best it can be.” PRESIDENT CLAIRE KLEIN I want the ASB to make students happy, to ensure a great year, and to better communicate the needs of the faculty and the students to either group.” VICE PRESIDENT TORRI JOHNSON I want students who aren’t on ASB to have a say in the student government.” secretary emory hingorani We need to make sure that the school year is one everyone will remember when they look back and think about their high school experiences.” treasurer mackenzie rowe We’re in charge of making sure that the student body has a really fun time in high school, and that the students’ opinions are voiced.” director of events sean waters We should try our best to make sure that everyone has a good time by organizing kickbacks and other fun events.” communications director grace sellick Our job is to be the mediator of different issues and to make sure that both the administration and the student body is happy. We need to communicate effectively between the two groups and bring together both parts of the school.” awareness director athena zander

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The white-washed sign reads: “Welcome to Steubenville: A Fine Place for Family & Industry”. It may have been true at one time, but certainly not today. Steubenville, forty-five minutes west of Pittsburgh, boasts a population of around 18,000. Once known for its industry, residents worked in steel factories until production slowed to a crawl. Presently, the main business is mining, but now that is drying up as well. It is the old story, a town destined to exist in past glory. But the people of Steubenville are like any other Americans. They eat. They sleep. And they watch football. Lots of football. One could call it an obsession. Every Friday night, hundreds of fans show up at Steubenville High School, home of Big Red, eager to watch teenagers act like grown-ups for a couple of hours a week. Some locals say it is heroworship, that the celebrity goes to the boy’s heads. It lets them get away with murder. Well, almost. On August 11, 2012, sixteen-year-old Big Red player, Trent Mays tweeted, “Party at jake howarths!!!! Huge party!!! Banger!!!!” A girl— now dubbed “Jane Doe” for privacy and protection—showed up, just one of many. At one point in the night, when she was too drunk to walk, Mays and his friend Ma’lik Richmond carried her from one party to another. Somewhere in between they assaulted her in the car. When they arrived at the night’s final destination, she was assaulted again. She woke up on August 12th confused, in a stranger’s basement. Her underwear, phone, and earrings were gone. She went home, and that was it. Or so she thought. Most of the time that would be it. Rape is notoriously under-reported. The National Victim Center’s study on rape in America found that only sixteen percent of rapes are reported. Despite the fact that photographs of Jane Doe’s assault were being texted around Steubenville High and others nearby, it is likely that the incident would have been ignored. One week later, the case well on it’s way to “blowing over” when blog-

ger and former Steubenville resident Alexandra Goddard began posting students’ tweets from the night. The “blogosphere” took up the cause. Within days, what might have been a sad story from a small town exploded into a national issue. On March 17, 2013, Richmond and Mays were found guilty of rape and distribution of child pornography. They were sentenced to a minimum of one year, and two years in juvenile detention respectively. One of the most shocking aspects of the case’s widespread publicity, was how public and media reaction was often sympathetic to the attackers. After the sentencing, CNN reporter Poppy Harlow said, “These two young men who had such prom-

It can be hard to realize that a rapist is not only the scary hulking beast in the alley. More often than not, the rapist is someone like Trent Mays—a ‘good kid.’ ising futures -- star football players, very good students -literally watched as they believed their life fell apart.” Commentator Candy Crowley asked a CNN legal analyst, “What’s the lasting effect though on two young men being found guilty juvenile court of rape?” As soon the story made headlines, Jane Doe was attacked online with tweets like, “She doesn’t know what she did a couple of weeks ago #alchoholic #whore” and “#JaneDoe deserved it, I’ll stop tweeting about this when everyone understands she’s an alcoholic whore”, putting the blame on her instead of her attackers. Rape culture refers to a complex phenomenon in which male sexual aggression towards women is excused, even tolerated. It shifts the blame away from the attackers, and instead focuses on what the victim

could have done differently. Those who perpetuate rape culture claim that a girl’s short skirt is an invitation for assault. They say that swimming with sharks, or being drunk around men, is asking for something bad to happen. They imply that saying “no” is enough to stop an attacker, without also teaching potential rapists that anything less than hearing “yes” is treading the fine line between a mutually consensual experience and sexual assault. It ends in cases like Steubenville and the more recent and deadly case of Audrie Potts—a California teen whose sexual assault at a party was photographed and who committed suicide only days later. Despite the fact that these cases have taken off, they are still exceptions in the realm of rape-related crimes. Prosecuting rape is traumatising enough without being complicated by the courts where the survivor is often called upon and harassed. Assuming the survivor is believed, a rape kit—a means of collecting evidence after the fact—can cost more than $1,000. Further complicating the issue is the fact that rape is often committed by people close to the victim. It can be hard to realize that a rapist is not only the scary hulking beast in the alley. More often than not, the rapist is someone like Trent Mays—a “good kid”. Someone easily defendable by the old platitudes, “boys will be boys.” Every year a new group of freshmen sit in Coach Stacey Zoyopolious’ Health and Fitness class, anxiously and awkwardly listening to the lessons which are supposed to prepare them for life. They learn about consent, preparedness and safety during their time with Zoyopolious– but four years can be a long time, and meanwhile innocent looking freshmen grow into adult-sized seniors. The definition of rape can seem blurry when filtered through the haze of one A.M. drunkenness, but efforts to educate people are ongoing. “If it affects one kid,” says Zoyiopoulos, “it would be worth it.”


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Literally defined as “banishment or exile,” sequestration in economics has come to represent any automatic reduction of federal spending. One thing that makes the 2013 sequester unique is its sheer size. The current sequestration plan hopes to cut $1.2 trillion of the federal budget over the next nine years. That being said, projections from the Congressional Budget Office estimate that the sequester will only delay the U.S. reaching 100 percent debt—meaning that the amount of money that the federal government is in debt equals the country’s total economic output— by two years, from 2027 to 2029. That would make us students somewhere between 29 and 34 years old. More surprising than the size


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Over $300 million of education cuts, nationwide meat and poultry shortages, prison lockdowns, and never-ending border waits. No, this doesn’t describe some postapocalyptic society in the newest sci-fi novel. This is what has become of the real, tangible world. There may be a place where we high school students can live blissfully ignorant of what is going on around us, a place where we can watch the Kardashians instead of the news and play Call of Duty instead of doing our algebra homework, a place where consequences do not exist. That world, however, is not our world, not the real world. And while we may choose to exist in this world fabricated by our desire for simplicity, in the real world, bad things are happening. Among them is a big thing, a scary thing, a confusing thing: sequestration. Though often mentioned on the news and radio, of the 42 Parker students The Scribe surveyed, only half admitted that they did not know what the sequester was. “This will impact everyone,” says AP Economics teacher and chair of the Social Studies department Mr. Tom Crowley. “It robs the well-off of wealth just as it robs poor people of wealth.”

of the cuts is what specifically is being cut. The past 10 years have seen a gradual decline in discretionary spending and social programs but rapid increases in Social Security; most notably increases in healthcare spending. And yet, what are the programs being cut? Defense, Medicare, private personnel, and other mandatory spending programs. That is comparable to attempting to cure frostbite on one left finger by cutting off an entire right hand. The cuts that are most directly applicable to current students are those to education. All state schools receive funding from their states which partially comes from the federal budget. As a result of the seques-

ter, much of this funding is being cut. With an education system that is already incredibly debt-ridden, these cuts will lead to reductions in arts and sports programing and financial aid. “Though the sequester won’t affect any financial aid from the school, like academic grants, merit-based scholarships, and things of that nature,” says Dean of College Counseling Mrs. Terri Devine, “It will affect federal aid—things like grants, federal loans, and work-study programs.” Congress has pledged to avoid cutting Pell Grants—the largest and most widely utilized federal educational grant—for only the first year. The possibility of cuts to the Pell Grant program in the years following, however, is still great. The National Education Association, the largest

public education union in the country, estimates that in 2013, in California alone, sequestration will result in $284,848,000 worth of cuts, which will affect 707,560 students and result in at least 4,038 educational job losses. Devine adds that although no one can be entirely certain as to how much these programs will be cut, she doubts that they will have too much of an effect on Parker students, but even the little fees can add up. “Students may see some new processing fees, an extra $30 here and there,” she says. “On a direct basis, the sequester will not affect Parker,” says Head of Finance Mr. Mike Rinehart. As an independent school, Parker is reliant on tuition, donations, and endowment earnings to fund its operating costs. Indirectly, though, the sequester may have an effect on incoming families as well as on some families who already attend and are no longer able to afford a Parker education. Nevertheless, Parker had a record number of applications this year. Although this may be due to the “blossoming Parker reputation,” as Rinehart puts it, the sequester may play a role here as well. If sequestration and the budget crisis is resulting in cuts to public school programs, families who are able to afford a private education may be encouraged to turn to schools like Parker. Luckily, Rinehart says that he does not foresee any major increase in tuition that is a direct result of sequestration.

More than anything else, the sequester will affect students like us in the form of slowed economic growth. In a recession like the current one, the key to economic growth is the reduction of unemployment. The Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that in the year 2013-2014, the U.S. will add four million jobs to the economy. However, with the sequester in place, that number has been revised to three million, a 25 percent slow in job growth. Many of these jobs are government sponsored: military personnel, air traffic controllers, meat inspectors, disaster relief agents, disease control, scientific research, NASA, and more. Here in San Diego, border patrol agents will be forced to take up to 14-day-a-month furloughs, potentially increasing border waits, and the reduction in air traffic controllers and Travel Security Agency personnel (airport security checkpoints) has already resulted in record travel delays. The sequester was always intended to be an idle threat to motivate Congress to reach a balanced budget consensus, something purposely made to be so bad that Congress would never let it happen. In 2011, there was much debate in Congress over whether to raise the debt ceiling—the amount of debt into which the federal government is allowed to go. Republicans in Congress


in billions of dollars

Source: Bipartisan Policy Center

argued that by refusing to raise the debt ceiling, Congress would be more likely to balance the budget as there would be no alternative but to do so. Democrats argued that the consequences of not raising the debt ceiling and defaulting on the country’s deficit were not worth the risk. For a simpler analogy, think of a student turning in late homework. Each subsequent day she turns it in late, she gets a letter grade lower. If she commits to turning it in no later than a week late, she may be more likely to actually complete the assignment. However, if she fails to turn it in by the designated day, she will get a zero. In the end, Congress agreed to raise the debt ceiling—for the 78th time in US history. As a part of the compromise in Congress, the Budget Control Act (BCA) was passed, which established a bipartisan “super committee” that would draft a new budget deal. As a part of the BCA, the sequestration cuts were established as an incentive to reach a budget consensus. The super committee failed to do so and on March 1st, the sequestration cuts officially went into effect.


What can we do to put ourselves in the best possible situation to overcome these cuts? “Becoming aware and becoming engaged is the best way to prepare for whatever may be coming,” Crowley says. “But also, use it to your advantage. Bring it up in a college interview and let the admissions officers know that you are aware of what is going on and being proactive in planning your financial future.” Devine echoes his sentiments in regard to college funding: “Be proactive. Don’t wait until the last moment to turn in financial aid requests because with the added fees and such, things may be more difficult than they previously were.”

2.8 1.6 1.5 1.1 0.7 0.5 HEALTH INSTITUTES






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I a m w r i ting to let you know that today our 2 0 1 2 - 1 3 A S B P r e s i d e n t h a s b e e n r e m o v e d f r o m o f f i c e f o l l o w i n g a n i m p e a chment process, effective immediat e l y . W e w i l l m o v e f o r w a r d b e g i n n i n g M o n d a y wi t h t h e c u r r e n t g ro u p o f students focused on finishing the s c h o o l y e a r i n e x e m p l a r y f a s h i o n . T h e r e a r e no p l a n s t o h a v e a ny t y p e of election to replace the presiden t , a s A S B h a s b e e n f u n c t i o n i n g e f f e c t i v e l y w i t h i n o u r e x i s t i n g s tr u c t u r e since late January. This process w a s a t h o r o u g h , f a i r a n d d i f f i c u l t o n e f o r a l l i n v o l v e d , a n d a s y o u m ight imagine , has weighed heavily o n t h e m e m b e r s o f A S B . I t w a s e s p e c i a l l y d i f f i cu l t f o r t h e E x e cu t i v e Council, whos e job it was to adjudic a t e t h e i m p e a c h m e n t , a s p e r t h e C o n s t i t u t i o n , ( S e c t i o n I V ) a n d w ho m u c h to their credit, have done an admi r a b l e j o b o f c a r r y i n g o n t h e i r n o r m a l w o r k , ev e n d u r i n g t h i s a rd u o u s task. The impeachment process was p u t f o r t h b y s t u d e n t s w h o c i t e d c o n c e r n s w h i c h c o u l d b e l i n k e d t o A r t i c le III, Line M of the ASB Constitut i o n : “All members of the ASB are expected to set a positive e xa m p l e for the school in all aspects of sc h o o l l i f e . ” A f t e r c a r e f u l d e l i b e r a t i o n , t h e E x e c u t i v e C o u n c i l a nd A S B Advisor found that he had indeed fail e d t o f u l f i l l d u t i e s a s A S B p r e s i d e n t a n d u p h o l d t h e s t a n d a r d s s et f o r t h in the Constitution of the ASB. Th e s t u d e n t b o d y m u s t s u p p o r t a n d r e s p e c t a l l s t u d e n t s t h a t w e r e i nv o l v e d in this difficult process equally. S t u d e n t s w h o f a i l t o d o s o w i l l f a c e d i s c i p l i n ar y a c t i o n . W h i l e y ou m a y or may not a gree with the decision, w e a s k t h a t y o u r e s p e c t i t . W e i n v i t e s t u d e nt s w h o h a v e a d d it i o n a l questions to drop by the Nicholas C o m m o n s t o d a y a t 2 : 4 5 . I a m w r i t i n g t o l e t y o u k n o w t h a t t o d a y o ur 2 0 1 2 -13 ASB President has been removed f r o m o f f i c e f o l l o w i n g a n i m p e a c h m e n t p r o c e s s , e f f e c t i v e i m m e d ia t e l y . We will move forward beginning Mond a y w i t h t h e c u r r e n t g r o u p o f s t u d e n t s f o c u s e d o n f i n i s h i n g t h e s ch o o l y ear in exemplary fashion. There are n o p l a n s t o h a v e a n y t y p e o f e l e c t i o n t o r e p l a ce t h e p r e s i d e n t , a s AS B h as been functioning effectively with i n o u r e x i s t i n g s t r u c t u r e s i n c e l a t e J a n u a r y . T h i s p r o c e s s w a s a t h o r o u gh, fair and difficult one for all i n v o l v e d , a n d a s y o u m i g h t i m a g i n e , h a s w e i g h e d h e a v i l y o n t h e m em b e r s of ASB. It was especially difficult f o r t h e E x e c u t i v e C o u n c i l , w h o s e j o b i t w a s t o a d j u d i c a t e t h e i mp e a c h m ent, as per the Constitution, (Sect i o n I V ) a n d w h o m u c h t o t h e i r c r e d i t , h a v e d o n e a n a d m i r a b l e j ob o f c arrying on th eir normal work, even d u r i n g t h i s a r d u o u s t a s k . T h e i m p e a c h m e n t p r o c es s w a s p u t f o r t h b y s t u d e nts who cited concerns which could b e l i n k e d t o A r t i c l e I I I , L i n e M o f t h e A S B C o n s t i t u t i o n : “ A l l m em b e r s of the ASB are expected to set a po s i t i v e e x a m p l e f o r t h e s c h o o l i n a l l a s p e c t s o f s c h o o l l i f e . ” A ft e r c a reful deliberation, the Executive Co u n c i l a n d A S B A d v i s o r f o u n d t h a t h e h a d i n d e e d f a i l e d t o f u l f il l d u t ies as ASB president and uphold the s t a n d a r d s s e t f o r t h i n t h e C o n s t i t u t i o n o f t h e A S B . T h e s t u d e n t b od y m u s t support and respect all students t h a t w e r e i n v o l v e d i n t h i s d i f f i c u l t p r o c e s s e q u a l l y . S t u d e n t s w ho f a i l to do so will face disciplinary act i o n . W h i l e y o u m a y o r m a y n o t a g r e e w i t h t h e d e c i s i o n , w e a s k t ha t y o u respect it. We invite students who h a v e a d d i t i o n a l q u e s t i o n s t o d r o p b y t h e N i c h ol a s C o m m o n s t o d ay a t 2 :45. I am wr iting to let you know t h a t t o d a y o u r 2 0 1 2 - 1 3 A S B P r e s i d e n t h a s b e e n re m o v e d f r o m o f f ic e f o l lowing an impeachment process, effe c t i v e i m m e d i a t e l y . W e w i l l m o v e f o r w a r d b e g i n n i n g M o n d a y w i t h t he c u r r ent group of students focused on fini s h i n g t h e s c h o o l y e a r i n e x e m p l a r y f a s h i o n . T h e r e a r e n o p l a n s t o h a v e any type of election to replace the p r e s i d e n t , a s A S B h a s b e e n f u n c t i o n i n g e f f e c t i v e l y w i t h i n o u r e xi s t i n g structure since late January. This p r o c e s s w a s a t h o r o u g h , f a i r a n d d i f f i c u l t o n e f o r a l l i n v ol v e d , and as you m ight imagine, has weigh e d h e a v i l y o n t h e m e m b e r s o f A S B . I t w a s e s p e c i a l l y d i f f i c u l t f or t h e Executive Council, whose job it was t o a d j u d i c a t e t h e i m p e a c h m e n t , a s p e r t h e C o n st i t u t i o n , ( S e c t io n I V ) and who much to their credit, have d o n e a n a d m i r a b l e j o b o f c a r r y i n g o n t h e i r n o r m a l w o r k , e v e n d ur i n g t his arduous task. The impeachment pr o c e s s w a s p u t f o r t h b y s t u d e n t s w h o c i t e d c o n c e r n s w h i c h c o u l d b e l i n k e d to Article III, Line M of the ASB C o n s t i t u t i o n : “ A l l m e m b e r s o f t h e A S B a r e e xp e c t e d t o s e t a p os i t i v e example for the school in all aspec t s o f s c h o o l l i f e . ” A f t e r c a r e f u l d e l i b e r a t i o n, t h e E x e c u t i v e C ou n c i l and ASB Advisor found that he had in d e e d f a i l e d t o f u l f i l l d u t i e s a s A S B p r e s i d e n t a n d u p h o l d t h e s ta n d a r d s set forth i n the Constitution of t h e A S B . T h e s t u d e n t b o d y m u s t s u p p o r t a n d r e s pe c t a l l s t u d e n t s t ha t w e r e involved i n this difficult proces s e q u a l l y . S t u d e n t s w h o f a i l t o d o s o w i l l f a c e d i s c i p l i n a r y a ct i o n . While you may or may not agree with t h e d e c i s i o n , w e a s k t h a t y o u r e s p e c t i t . W e i n v i t e s t u d e n t s w ho h a v e additional q uestions to drop by the N i c h o l a s C o m m o n s t o d a y a t 2 : 4 5 . I a m w r i t i n g t o l e t y o u k n o w t ha t t o d ay our 2012- 13 ASB President has be e n r e m o v e d f r o m o f f i c e f o l l o w i n g a n i m p e a c h m en t p r o c e s s , e f f ec t i v e immediately. We will move forward b e g i n n i n g M o n d a y w i t h t h e c u r r e n t g r o u p o f s t u d e n t s f o c u s e d o n f in i s h i n g the school year in exemplary fashi o n . T h e r e a r e n o p l a n s t o h a v e a n y t y p e o f e l e c t i o n t o r e p l a c e t he p r e s ident, as ASB has been functioning e f f e c t i v e l y w i t h i n o u r e x i s t i n g s t r u c t u r e s i n c e l a t e J a n u a r y . T hi s p r o cess was a thorough, fair and diffic u l t o n e f o r a l l i n v o l v e d , a n d a s y o u m i g h t i m a g i n e , h a s w e i g h e d h ea v i l y on the members of ASB. It was especi a l l y d i f f i c u l t f o r t h e E x e c u t i v e C o u n c i l , w h o se j o b i t w a s t o a dj u d i c a te the impeachment, as per the Const i t u t i o n , ( S e c t i o n I V ) a n d w h o m u c h t o t h e i r c re d i t , h a v e d o n e a n a d m i r able job of carrying on their normal w o r k , e v e n d u r i n g t h i s a r d u o u s t a s k . T h e i m p ea c h m e n t p r o c e s s w as p u t forth by students who cited concerns w h i c h c o u l d b e l i n k e d t o A r t i c l e I I I , L i n e M o f t h e A S B C o n s ti t u t i o n: “All members of the ASB are exp e c t e d t o s e t a p o s i t i v e e x a m p l e f o r t h e s c h o o l i n a l l a s p e c t s o f s c h o o l life.” After careful deliberation, t h e E x e c u t i v e C o u n c i l a n d A S B A d v i s o r f o u n d t ha t h e h a d i n d e e d f ai l e d t o fulfill duties as ASB president a n d u p h o l d t h e s t a n d a r d s s e t f o r t h i n t h e C o n s t i t u t i o n o f t h e A SB . T h e student bod y must support and resp e c t a l l s t u d e n t s t h a t w e r e i n v o l v e d i n t h i s d if f i c u l t p r o c e s s e qu a l l y . Students who fail to do so will fac e d i s c i p l i n a r y a c t i o n . W h i l e y o u m a y o r m a y n ot a g r e e w i t h t h e d ec i s i o n , we ask tha t you respect it. We i n v i t e s t u d e n t s w h o h a v e a d d i t i o n a l q u e s t i o n s t o d r o p b y t h e N ic h o l a s Commons today at 2:45. I am writing t o l e t y o u k n o w t h a t t o d a y o u r 2 0 1 2 - 1 3 A S B P r e s i d e n t h a s b e e n r em o v e d from office following an impeachmen t p r o c e s s , e f f e c t i v e i m m e d i a t e l y . W e w i l l m o v e f o r w a r d b e g i n n in g M o n day with the current group of studen t s f o c u s e d o n f i n i s h i n g t h e s c h o o l y e a r i n e x em p l a r y f a s h i o n . T he r e a r e no plans to have any type of elect i o n t o r e p l a c e t h e p r e s i d e n t , a s A S B h a s b e e n f u n c t i o n i n g e f f ec t i v e l y within our existing structure sinc e l a t e J a n u a r y . T h i s p r o c e s s w a s a t h o r o u g h , f a i r a n d d i f f i c u l t o ne f o r all involved , and as you might imag i n e , h a s w e i g h e d h e a v i l y o n t h e m e m b e r s o f A S B . I t w a s e s p e c ia l l y d ifficult for the Executive Council, w h o s e j o b i t w a s t o a d j u d i c a t e t h e i m p e a c h m e n t , a s p e r t h e C on s t i t u tion, (Sectio n IV) and who much to t h e i r c r e d i t , h a v e d o n e a n a d m i r a b l e j o b o f c ar r y i n g o n t h e i r n or m a l w ork, even du ring this arduous task. T h e i m p e a c h m e n t p r o c e s s w a s p u t f o r t h b y s t u d e n t s w h o c i t e d c on c e r n s which could be linked to Article I I I , L i n e M o f t h e A S B C o n s t i t u t i o n : “All members of the ASB a re e x p e cted to set a positive example for t h e s c h o o l i n a l l a s p e c t s o f s c h o o l l i f e . ” A ft e r c a r e f u l d e l ib e r a tTHE i on, TRUTH the Executive Council and ASB Ad v i s o r f o u n d that he had indeed failed to fulfill duties as ASB BEHIND THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONTROVERSY p re s i d e n t and uphold the standards set forth i n t h e C o n s t i t u t i o n o f t h e A S B . T h e s t u d e n t bo d y m u s t s u p p o r t BY ARIELLE SWEDBACK a nd r eSTORY s p ect all stude nts that were involved i n t h i s d i f f i c u l t p r o c e s s e q u a l l y . S t u d e n t s w h o f a i l t o d o s o BY CIAN LAVINaction. While you ma y o r m a y n o t a g r e e w i t h t h e d e c i s i o n , w e a s k t h a t y o u r e s p e c t w il l fPHOTOGRAPH a c e disciplinary i t. W e i nvite students who have additional q u e s t i o n s t o d r o p b y t h e N i c h o l a s C o m m o n s t o d ay a t 2 : 4 5 .



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On March 15, 2013, all 22 members of the Associated Student Body were pulled out of their eighth-period classes for an impromptu meeting. Sitting in the darkened ASB room, they silently read a projected copy of the letter that advisor Mr. John Morrison would send to the student body in a matter of minutes. The letter began, “I am writing to let you know that today our 2012-13 ASB President has been removed from office following an impeachment process, effective immediately.” “All branches of the ASB were present,” recalls Freshman Class Representative Athena Zander. “Our normally chatty class was eerily still. The air felt dense with curiosity, confusion, and anticipation. We were caught off guard by this meeting. It all felt a bit surreal.” She describes the scene as one of jarring contrast. “After being outside in the sun as the campus buzzed with energy, walking into the dark, quiet room was a shock.” It was really during the months that impeachment was pending, however, that the majority of the ASB and all of the student body were in the dark. Since the decision was publicized, the impeachment has been one of the most polarizing issues on campus—shaping the way that the average student perceives the ASB, the administration, and the general Parker culture. It also brought to light some policy and philosophical issues that have lingered beneath the ASB Constitution’s surface for years. Andres Gomez was one of four candidates who ran for the presidency in March 2012 and one of two students running for the position without prior ASB experience. He assumed his position the summer before the 2012–2013 school year as a president who had never been a part of the organization. “I had a lot of help in the start, and I really appreciated it,” Gomez

says. “But I was definitely treated differently from the other students because I had no previous experience with the ASB. I was more limited than past presidents had been.” He, however, credits his lack of prior affiliation with the organization with his ability to “bring in a perspective that isn’t in the confines of ASB.” Gomez says, “I was a very good president. All year I had students and faculty members pull me aside to say that I was bringing something new to our school; I think that this year there was an incomparable energy on campus.” This is why, to many students, the March 15th impeachment an-

When the process was outlined, no one ever could have imagined it would be used to impeach a president. —Mr. Marc Thiebach nouncement came as a surprise. “It really seemed to come out of the blue,” says sophomore Olivia Ghosh. “I don’t think that many students were expecting this to happen.” Morrison says the issues that were ultimately considered grounds for impeachment were recurring throughout Gomez’s term. “I can promise that it was explained multiple times that there were issues that needed to be addressed or an impeachment could happen,” he says. The formal impeachment was set into motion by a letter sent by a Parker student requesting that the ASB review the Constitution and consider impeachment. “The letters that were written demonstrated how the president was failing to fulfill duties and set a good example supported by sections of the Constitution,” says Vice President Rosana Murphy.

The impeachment process outlined in Section IV of the ASB Constitution calls for the Executive Council of the ASB to look at the charges and assess their validity before deciding to move forward. According to the Constitution, “A two week trial period will be issued beginning from that date until the Executive Council voted for removal.” Awareness Director Torri Johnson says, “The process technically started in December. Andres was warned that his presidency was in jeopardy and was given a trial period to try to improve. Then we went into winter break, Andres took a leave for personal reasons, then a formal impeachment proposal began after interim and during the month of March.” The Executive Council members met discreetly outside of the ASB class period every day for a week to deliberate. Assistant Head of Upper School Mr. Marc Thiebach oversaw the entire procedure. “Andres had a time to defend himself against the accusations. We discussed and debated an hour each day,” Johnson says. “It was a really hard process and we had a lot to consider.” The six members of the Executive Council and Morrison were each given one vote. After the ballots were confidentially tallied, the administration approved the vote.


The impeachment of an ASB president is an unprecedented occurrence. “When the process was outlined, no one ever could have imagined it would be used to impeach a president,” says Thiebach. Yet the issues surrounding the impeachment have been controversial aspects of ASB policy for years. Incumbent Junior Class Representative and 2013-14 ASB President Claire Klein says, “None of these issues are new. The aspects of the Constitution that we debated over have always been disputed.” The may 2013 THE SCRIBE










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most prominent of the issues raised by the impeachment was the rule allowing individuals with no ASB experience to run for president. The debate over allowing inexperienced students to assume the presidency has been woven into the history of Francis Parker ASB policy for more than a decade. In 2001, Thiebach advised an ASB class in which the students pushed to limit candidates to those with experience based on the shaky presidency they had endured that year. “The kids, completely on their own, put a movement together that said, ‘Listen, we really don’t think that a person who has never been in ASB can be an effective president,’” Thiebach says. The rule was in place until the 2009-2010 school year when the ASB, under the leadership of President Bridgette Ehman, undertook a Constitutional reform project. Thiebach says that the political and social atmosphere following the first election of President Barack Obama inspired a vocal group of students to challenge the exclusionary nature of the rule. “It was the most controversial amendment we made to the Constitution that year,” says Ehman, now a junior at University of Pennsylvania. “We argued back and forth and back and forth about the issue. And even though I was opposed to the idea, after an incredibly close vote, the rule was changed to allow any student to run for presidency.” This change was instigated two years before Gomez ran for president. He argues that preserving the integrity of the free elections is vital to the system. “Anybody can be president,” he says. “That’s how the system is set up and the reality is that the Francis Parker student body elected me.” Others say that true representation is not realistic in a situation where a student needs to run a class on a day-to-day basis. “The chances of a president with no ASB experience coming up short are extremely high,” Thiebach says. “They’re just not able to do it, it’s just such a great learning curve.” The ASB’s Constitution states that all members must “be a member in good standing in the community.” Gomez says that he does not believe this means that ASB students should be held to a higher standard than other students. Instead, “They represent other students, they shouldn’t be above them. At the end of the day, ASB is a class and we’re all students trying to learn.” Most ASB members acknowledge that being in a student government leadership position requires a heightened sense of responsibility. This blurred distinction between student and student representative

was a major factor in the impeachment process. “They’re always considered students first,” says Morrison about the ASB representatives. “In this case especially, Andres was considered a student first and his title was irrelevant.”

As shocking a revelation as the impeachment was to the ASB, it was even more surprising to the student body. “Most students seemed really surprised because we didn’t know this was happening,” says junior Jessica Bocinski. “I was personally surprised that the ASB could even impeach the president.” Her words echo a common student sentiment on campus in the days and weeks after March 4: Why didn’t the students know? One reason is the protection of Gomez’s privacy. “Something that is anything from sensitive to embarrassing to controversial cannot be announced to a whole student body,” Thiebach says. Gomez says that he would have preferred the student body to be more involved in the impeachment process. “I really wish that everything had been out in the open,” he says. “Not only do I think the outcome would have been different, but I also would have found the secrecy a lot less uncomfortable.” The reality is, however, that protecting Gomez’s privacy as a student was a priority. Head of Upper School Mr. Paul Barsky says, “As the head of the Upper School, I take an almost protective view on the well-being of students. I would never allow a student to be put in a situation where everyone knew the personal details which become part of an impeachment process.” As much as Gomez’s interests were being protected, the integrity of the impeachment process itself would also have been in danger had other students become involved. Members of the ASB argued to preserve impeachment as an inter-




nal process. Advisors presented the ASB with the possibility of sending out a letter to the student body alerting them of the fact that an impeachment process was beginning, but the idea was turned down after a class discussion. “There were a lot of factors in this decision from our perspective. I know a lot of students will be surprised that we chose to withhold this information,” Klein says. ASB members felt that pressure from an involved student body might influence the Executive Council’s decision or force it to abstain from voting. “We felt that it would be too much stress on the six members if the entire school knew that they were making this decision,” Klein says. Members of the Executive Council had the choice to abstain from voting, straying from the process outlined in the Constitution, and instead allow the Upper School administration to make the decision independently. “Our decisions were to protect Andres’s best interests and give him a real shot at a reasonable decision. There was the opportunity for the impeachment decision to be determined completely by the administration but that was the number one thing we didn’t want, in order uphold the power of student government.” As for the possibility of a student vote in the decision, Barsky says that was never considered an option. “We understand that students feel that Andres was their elected representative,” he says.

“But even in the United States, not all citizens would be involved in an impeachment trial.” The impeachment of ASB president Andres Gomez shook the school more in terms of culture than in leadership or organization. “Students often have the tendency to think of the president in terms of making decisions; and they do in the sense of setting agendas and leading the class, but he or she has no voting power in the class,” Thiebach says. “Does it matter who the president is to the average student? Does it affect your Prom, your Homecoming, your kickbacks? No. At least not to the level the position has reached in the past five or six years.” The president does not have much day-to-day impact on student life on campus, yet the impeachment marked a high point in student interest in ASB policy– putting the Constitution under a microscope for the first time in years. In light of the impeachment, the ASB will likely review its policies. “Constitution changes are pending,” Klein says. “The impeachment inspired us to reevaluate certain aspects of our ASB policy, and you can expect to hear more about them soon.”

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star ving art ist

noun 1. a person who, after failing in the professional world, gives up material desires to try and continue in their creative endeavors 2. a 20-something artist who lives in a one-bedroom apartment above a deli in Brooklyn; hackneyed diet consists of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Top Ramen, and Chinese take-out 3. a myth


The myth of the so-called “starving artist” is sometimes misinterpreted by students considering attending an arts college. Students forget they’ll end up at the school they love because they are passionate about their art, whether it be photography, drama, graphic design, music production or jewelry arts, offered at hundreds of colleges in the United States. Yet we can’t help but wonder: With such artistically ambitious graduates, what fate awaits our Class of 2013? Class of 2010 Parker graduate LaVon Wageman knew she wanted to be on stage from a young age. When it came to applying to college, Tisch School of the Arts’s musical theatre conservatory at New York University was “perfect for her,” she says.“I wanted performance to be more than a hobby, I wanted it to be my career.” The purpose of a traditional artistic education is, according to Brennan Dignan, associate director of admissions at Cornish College of the Arts, “to get the crucial experience in one’s projected career.” Wageman says that the education she recieved at Tisch prepared her for getting a job. She was immediately cast in a short film right out of school. “I have gathered so many new skills for my tool box,” she says. “I use them not only in performance but for my other fields that I work in, such as real estate and retail.” Parker graduate Jamie Bock, Class of 2008, attended New York University, where she studied drama. In college, she was constantly inspired

by the amazing professionals bustling around Manhattan and the supportive staff at her school. The biggest impression NYU left on her was how much her newfound knowledge and education in theater gave her the confidence to get up and go to a casting call or audition, even if she might not get the job. She says she decided to pursue an arts school education for a simple reason: “I loved acting – it was all I wanted to do and nothing else came close. I couldn’t see myself happier doing anything else.” But not all students know exactly what they’re going to go into later in their life. Alicia Valencia, Class of ‘10, attends Rhode Island School of Design/Brown University. “Applying to art school was an afterthought. Throughout high school my parents were always supportive of my interest in art, but I doubt they would have found the idea of me applying solely to art schools as particularly savory,”

As long as you’re doing what you love, and keep the passion and drive, you’re going to be happy. —Jamie Bock Class of ‘08 she says. “There are actually tons of opportunities available, but some students become fixated on the idea of ‘move to New York and work as an artist’. What seems to matter right now is how hard you work, how well you present yourself to employers, and how desirable your skills come across.” Her answer resembled something many prep school kids forget: not everyone will be happy as an investment banker, even if it means earning a lower salary. The key to the desired college experience is utilizing your materials at a great school, loving your major, and growing as much as you can in your craft. The solution to making it out of

school and into the workforce is motivation. When discussing the “starving artist” theory, Valencia says, “It seems like it reflects choices that certain types of people make regarding their abilities and time, and I definitely know students at Brown who didn’t study art and find they’re living on couches after school and becoming baristas. Even if the job is unpaid, it’s still experience in the field, a crucial aspect to the life of an artist.” Dignan presented surprising statistics at College Arts Night at Parker: our generation will experience 11-15 job changes in their lifetimes and only 40% of graduates end up actually working in the field they majored in. Although somewhat disheartening, there’s a positive spin that can be put on these alarming facts: What is written on your diploma or what classes you take should never become roadblocks. There will always be a job out there for you, even if it isn’t the exact practice you studied; scan your surroundings, you’ll see something that takes a little thought to uncover. It could be anything from the school’s modern architecture, a simple classroom with rudimentary shapes, or a bedroom with intricate design and interior decoration. Whatever it is, everything inside that space was originally designed by an artist or an artisan in their craft. Bock adds, from the position of a young, aspiring actress, “We all get in a rut. We all think, ‘What did I do?’ But you never know who you’ll meet or what play you’ll end up doing that gets a great review by the New York Times. As long as you’re doing what you love, and keep the passion and drive, you’re going to be happy.” As we send our Class of 2013 off to pursue their passions, we needn’t worry about the aspiring artists, actors, filmakers, and designers. A true inspired, confident, and determined artist of any kind will leave their mark on whatever field they choose.

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Nestled near San Diego’s downtown is a thriving stretch of streets lined with independent retail stores, bustling cafés, and cutting-edge art galleries. The muted buzz of people chatting over espresso and zeppole gives Little Italy a staycation feel that we so often lose. In the early 1900s, Little Italy was home to a large, tuna-canning industry. Its humble beginnings paved the way for a flourishing district that with only one trip will leave your stomach full but your mind craving more. Self-coined as a “hip and historic urban neighborhood” (, Little Italy is a great place to get away from the Subway-Panera-Starbucks routine. If you are coming from school, just jump on 5 South and get off at Laurel. A left onto Kettner Boulevard takes you to Little Italy’s main drag. Mangia!

The dining area of C&C


“Ode To The Burger” The stands of the Mercato

Rainbow chard Street view

The dining and bar area of Isola


Little Italy mercato

Isola pizza bar

With an artistic fusion of rustic and industrial styles and miscellaneous items dispersed throughout, this restaurant gives off the feeling of a grown-up “I Spy” game. The food is not much different from the atmosphere. The levels of complexity of the layered spices and marinades in dishes as simple as french fries are mind-boggling and their remarkable “Ode to the Burger” ($10) with onion marmalade, aged cheddar, and their house sauce might possibly be your dying wish for the next life.

Of the 52 farmers’ markets in San Diego, Little Italy’s is definitely one you can’t miss. With booths selling artisanal goods from orb plants to spiked caramel, the market has something for everyone and the fresh produce is second to none. You might enter the market set on purchasing only one good, but leave the market with your arms full. The market is open every Saturday, spanning across three blocks of Little Italy, from Kettner Boulevard to Front Street, and Date Street to India Street.

Looking to break the pizza rut of Pizza Hut? Head to Isola Pizza Bar to reimagine traditional Italian dishes and try something new. Massimo Tenino, head chef and owner of Isola Pizza Bar, founded the restaurant in his grandmother’s memory. On the menu are classics revamped, like their Quattro Formaggi Pizza ($14). Indulge your cheesy side with mozzarella, parmigiano, gorgonzola, goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes. Words cannot describe how good this pizza sounds. Just say, “delizioso.”

675 W. Beech St. 619.269.2202

Date and india street Saturdays 8am-2pm mercato

1526 India Street 619.255.4230

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S check out our website for more must-see places in Little Italy


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TAKE THE QUIZ Do you like the beach? No

Yes You can’t go to the beach without...


your camera

With the school year coming to an end, students are counting down the days until San Diego’s favorite season: summer! With these three months of bliss come sleep, sunburns, and super beach celebrations. From the funky town of Ocean Beach to the quiet hiking trails of Torrey Pines State Park, each of these beaches has its own distinct character. Switch up your usual beach experience and explore the hidden treasures in the stretches of the golden San Diego coastline.

Why do you live here?

your volleyball

You like going to the beach...

At the beach, you spend more time...

shopping in town

hanging out on the sand

Your favorite beach activity is...

Your favorite time to visit the beach is...


early morning

with a group of friends

people watching

taking selfies!

Do you like to hike?

running in the sand

Do you surf on a long or short board?

Short board Are you a hipster? Real hipsters don’t call themselves “hipster.”


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Bike or skateboard? Skateboard


No, please I bought my Lulu’s for show

Keeping up with the Kardashians or your fitness plan?

I surf readit

Long board

Give me the remote.



Yes, I am a solidude

Be honest... Are you mindful?







S check out our website for exclusive footage of the Parker Surf Team

To survive and thrive in OB, you need to be quirky and cultured. The town has a unique personality, from the eccentric locals that have been dubbed “OBeacians” to shops that look like they’ve been frozen in time since the ’70s. Relax on the warm sand by the pier or surf some of San Diego’s best waves at Sunset Cliffs just south of town. Grab lunch at one of the restaurants that line Newport Avenue, like the locally-famous hamburger joint Hodad’s, which was featured on the Food Network’s Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Though its bizarre features may intimidate some, OB is the place for the hippies at heart.

If you’re a super artsy photographer (or at least you think you are), check out La Jolla. There are surf shops throughout, like Roxy and Quicksilver, along with ocean-kayaking, enjoyed by tourists and locals alike. If you’re really trendy, take some underwater selfies at the Cove, where swimmers explore the water and snorkel with native fish. Or, for an adventurous attraction, try the Pink Wall, a 10-15 foot cliff where locals like to jump off of into the murky ocean below. And don’t miss out on the best Instagram photo-ops.

If you’re a laid-back, go-with-the-flow person looking for a place to relax, Coronado is the place for you. Walk down the palm tree lined Orange Avenue while peeking in the kitschy boutiques. Explore the famous Hotel Del Coronado, which has been part of the sets for multiple Hollywood movies, including Marilyn Monroe’s Some Like It Hot. Then continue on to the beach lined with beautiful seaweed-free sand, making it a perfect place to enjoy your summer in peace.

For you sporty and active beachgoers, Moonlight Beach is the perfect place to run along the sand and exercise in the San Diego sunshine. Centrally located, there are three side-by-side beach volleyball courts where people of all ages and skill levels play. Street access off the beach allows you to easily reach restaurants such as Kealani’s Hawaiian eatery, Berry Happy frozen yogurt shop, and Lotus Café so you can replace all the calories you just burned. Dig in!

4. 5.


1. 3.

If you’re a quiet and independent person, try Torrey Pines State Park, a great place to refocus your mind and body. Just south of Del Mar, there aren’t any touristy shops or malls nearby. Stay on the lower level of the parking lot to relax near the water, or drive to the upper parking lot above the cliffs to access the many hiking trails. The trails snake through groves of the extremely rare Torrey Pines all the way down to a smaller, uncrowded portion of the beach. Be prepared though, because this beach is in a state park; you either have to pay to park or try to find a spot out on the street. may 2013 THE SCRIBE








1 . AL P H A - FE M ALE S Say goodbye to Disney princesses in pink gowns begging to be rescued from their towers: modern alpha-females like Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, and English

teacher Ms. Carol Obermeier are here to show the world that there’s nothing quite like a woman with the confidence to assert her own independence—all hail the winners of Battle Of The Sexes. Just face it boys, we run the world. 2 . RE U S A B LE C OFFEE C U P S

Starbucks has upped its ante once again by introducing reusable coffee cups. For only one dollar, customers can sip away at their sweet drinks while being environmentally friendly at the same time. Earth-haters have no excuse to kill our plant friends now. 3 . S U M M ER W EA T H ER

Global warming may be melting the icebergs of the Southern Hemisphere and fossil fuels may be melting the ozone of the stratosphere, but our tans are out of this universe. It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes (and put on a bikini and jump in the pool, of course—nudity is bad!).


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1 . T IG H T S W I T H S O C K S

Peter Pan auditions are not being held in the Parker Upper School any time soon, so do us all a favor by choosing one form of hosiery and sticking to it. 2 . M ODER N M ILE Y C Y R U S

She may have a flawless bod and a unique taste in style, but her new grunge persona seems a little ingenuine. We fully support you being your own person, Miley, but we kind of liked you better when Disney did the identity-forming for you. You may be getting the best of both worlds, but all we’re getting are magazine spreads of your cleavage. Hannah Montana, come back. 3 . GREA S E

We’re perfectly okay with the term “grease” rolling off the tongues of the seniors, but we aren’t quite as okay with actual grease rolling down from your unwashed hairline. We live in the most temperate climate in the United States and, let’s face it, you probably don’t exercise, so there’s no way all that sweat showed up today. We’re all for conserving water, but the environment can suffer this one time: It’s called shampoo, use it.


Nothing says “hip” more than someone who knows how to flaunt his or her ’tude. Start expressing your opinions wherever you go. However, let’s try to avoid drama and keep your opinion on your least favorite person to a minimum, thanks. 2 . AR M Y J A C K E T S

Calling all guys and girls who constantly struggle to find the perfect piece to throw over those bland polos in the mornings: paired with the right neutral-colored outfit, these jackets will keep you protected from the chilly winter draft—get it, draft? 3 . T H E EIG H T H GRADER S

Eighth-grade girl, why is it that we had to double take when we saw you prancing through the Middle School quad? Your face wasn’t perfectly posed, your skort was just as unflattering as the rest of ours, and there weren’t 200 likes floating over your head. We wanted to touch you to see if you were real, but weren’t sure we were worthy. Lucky for us, you and your pretty friends will be making the leap to the big kid campus next year; maybe you can give us some tips on how to brave our awkward stages?

dress for success TIPS FROM THE SENIOR




If you’re a senior getting ready for the rest of your life, then these tips are just what you need to look great as you take on the world. The Cavalcade’s 2012-2013 best dressed, Alexandra Alemany and Kevin Eve have shared their fashion tips for getting ready for college. They’ve explored the summer must haves, winter trends, and perfect job-interview garb. So read up and get ready to look your best, because you never know who may be checking you out.

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Stay cool, shorts are a must. I like shorts that are cut well above the knee, if your thigh tan isn’t high enough, J. Crew has some shorts that won’t make you feel exposed. I like to wear pastel buttondowns in the summer, but make sure to have some gingham or madras shirts to mix it up. They allow for a pretty versatile look. Another key element is Sperrys with no socks, as long as you wash them every couple wears.”


“ Alexandra is a senior who plans on attending Rhode Island School of Design next year. She describes her style as “classy chic”. “I love layering, using unique prints, and collecting antique and vintage clothing as well as jewelry. I feel very inspired by the 50s and love to play with colors.”

Kevin will be attending Brown University next fall and has the fashion tips to make any lady swoon. “I would describe my style as urban preppy. I like to wear button-downs, simple patterns, and coats with an east coast feel. Jean jackets also kill it!”

I say play with patterns, mix it up with some fun socks, oversized shirts and dresses with bold prints. For summer, definitely keep it flowy, but you can always use a skinny belt to cinch your dress. It’s great to match the belt and shoes. Play with skirts and to work with pastels. If you want to let your feet show, then do sandals. Summer is the time to experiment with fashion, wear what you want, and have fun! Remember, you can pull it off!”



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Layers on layers on layers, I usually start with a collared shirt, then a sweater, either v-neck or crew neck. On top, a sturdy winter coat and a simple scarf make a really classic look. Stay away from sneakers, Vans, or boat shoes in the cold, go with a pair boots to keep out the chill. Every wardrobe should have some corduroy and a pair of jeans. I like a darker wash denim, especially during the winter, it tends to look better with boots. Don’t forget warm socks. Have fun with the pattern!”


I can’t emphasize layers enough! I love to use leggings during the winter, even corduroy leggings sometimes. Use rich, dark colors, especially a nice burgundy. For shoes, I work with boots, and always have a key pair of knee highs. I enjoy using long socks that can peek through my boots. Have some sweaters and a goto jacket that can work with most outfits. Lastly, always accessorize with some fun scarves, jewelry, hats, or gloves.”


Go with formal, classic looks, but make sure to differentiate yourself from other applicants. That doesn’t mean you should break new fashion ground, but have fun with it. Go with underutilized fashion pieces: a handtied bow tie, some seersucker pants, and a nice blue blazer. Most importantly, make sure the clothes fit and you’re well-groomed.”


Stay conservative, classy, and don’t go too short with the dresses and skirts. Girls, don’t go for the crazy heels, but don’t lose your fashion voice. I would say add a fun print and keep the rest neutral, show your edge and dress your outfit up with some jewelry, but don’t overdo it. You can never go wrong with a simple black dress and a blazer.”


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the scribe 2012-13


How and why did you become a trainer?

I kind of fell into it. I wanted to study kinesiology, which is the study of movemen: half of it was coaching and half was sports medicine. I figured I could always fall back into coaching if need be, but I really enjoyed sports medicine. What’s the worst injury you’ve seen in your time here?

In 2006, we had a visiting team [with a player] who was taken off in an ambulance and we later found out that he had a ruptured cyst in his head. We’ve had three pretty bad fractures in the past few years: one femur, one tibia and fibula, and one wrist. Who cause the most trouble in the training room?

Gabe Harrington is kind of like a silent assassin, Milan [Marrero] keeps things regulated in here, [Michael] Baddour is the problem child, and Claire Nut Tree [Nussbaum] eats all my food. Those are probably the main troublemakers.

M I C H AEL B ADDO U R ’ 1 5

During one of our stunning performances during the 2012-2013 junior varsity soccer season, [freshman] Jonas Munson fearlessly leaped for a header, but missed the ball completely and fell down, breaking his arm in two pieces. Heroically, Coach Jarrad sprinted across the field and saved the day after. He was able to create a makeshift splint merely out of athletic tape. Coach Jarrad’s skill and knowledge in his profession have impacted us and the Parker community in a variety of ways.”


How much tape do you go through during the fall?

In the fall, I go through a lot of tape. It’s probably about a box a week, which contains thirty-two rolls per box—each roll is fifteen yards long: you do the math. But Evan Fitzner has really big feet and in the winter, I have to tape [his ankles] every day. What season requires the most work from you?

The fall and winter are a tie. [During the fall] football and volleyball are obviously big sports on campus and occupy a lot of my time. But in the winter there are four major sports: girls’ basketball, girls’ soccer, boys’ basketball, and boys’ soccer. What’s your favorite part about being the Parker trainer?

The most rewarding part about being the trainer is being able to get an injured kid back on the field, no matter the severity of the injury. What season do you enjoy the most? Why?

The summer is probably my favorite season because I get to spend time with my kids instead of everyone else’s kids, but there are some great kids here. What do you do during the day when you’re not tending to the physical needs of the students?

Depending on the season, I teach anywhere between two and four classes. I either teach Middle School PE, Sports Medicine, and this year I helped out with Health and Fitness a lot. [When I’m not teaching], I have to keep track of injury records, forms, and sometimes I have to call parents and doctors. [During the school day] I see anywhere from about three to ten students who receive treatment during lunch.


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About 15 months ago, Coach Jarrad, Gabe Harrington, and I went on a field trip. Unfortunately we came across a cat that had been hit by a car and its leg was messed up, definitely broken. Because of the information that Jarrad taught us like RICE­—rest, ice, compression, elevation—we were able to brace the little kitten’s leg. Jarrad got his medical tape out and we wrapped up the cat, got it in a nice stable position, and it was able to walk away. Without Trainer Phillips, that cat would’ve probably been dead, but we were able to save him.”





In the summer of 2003, seventeen-year-old Dionne Passacantando, attending Allen Texas High School, began to give herself almost daily injections of a steroid called Winstol. After she had been using for about five weeks, solely for the purpose of “improving” her appearance, Passacantando became suicidal. She understood what she was putting into her body, but she didn’t understand the hormonal effects. Realizing she was in trouble, Passacantando sought the help she needed to become clean. According to The New York Times, “A report done by the Oregon Health and Science University using data from the Centers for Disease Control said 5.3 percent of teenage girls [have] admitted to using anabolic steroids, mostly for body-enhancing reasons or self-protection, not athletics.” Steroid usage is harmful for people of all ages, but with physical and mental states so highly in flux during the teenage years, the younger generation is especially at risk. Athletics are a big commitment at Parker. With integrity as the foundation of every sport, a high school athlete must understand his or her responsibilities, as high school athletics present many of the same ethical questions. With so many professional athletes are using performance enhancing drugs, the question is on athletes’ minds everywhere: should the drugs just be legalized? Senior David Nussbaum, varsity boys’ Volleyball setter, says that if the decision to legalize isn’t made, the playing field will never be balanced. “So many professional athletes are using, and those that aren’t begin to fall behind and that will


lead to more athletes using [PEDs]. I think PEDs should either be legalized or completely banned.” However, freshman Emma Moore, a Parker track runner, fears that sports will never be the same if the drugs are made legal. “Many professional athletes want the sport to stay pure, and if the drugs were legalized that would make it virtually impossible. Athletes that don’t use have achieved their goals fairly.” But PEDs exist beyond the professional sports world. When asked their opinions on the usage of PEDs in the high school competition, many Parker students responded similarly. Sophomore Matt Goff, a starting player on the boys’ varsity soccer team, says that the only problem of PEDs is that usage results in an artificial hormonal increase, especially in teenagers. “Hormones are already overpopulated in teenagers’ bodies, so by using steroids and further increasing those hormones, the problems inside and outside of the body will only get worse and could lead to physical and mental damages,” says Goff. Senior Eva Scarano, captain of the varsity girls’ lacrosse team, says that she is aware of some teenagers who are very focused on their body image. “I know a few high school guys that try to bulk up and look good,” she says. “I just don’t think minors should be able to have the option to take such harmful drugs.” So, should steroids be legalized, or should the obvious usage of these potentially harmful drugs continue to be prohibited? Athletes

understand what they are putting into their bodies, and yet they still make the decision to use PEDs. Is the idea of winning and the heat of the competition that stressful? I have personally experienced the struggle of falling behind in the athletic competition. This past November, I tore my ACL playing soccer and noticed the weakening in my legs. The inability to remain a strong athlete took an emotional and physical toll on my life. This being said, I believe the usage of performance-enhancing drugs, especially for minors, is out of the question. I understand the fight to stay on top and to be the best in the league, but why should drugs be the next best solution to that problem? Mental strength is the key factor in athletic competition, and if athletes are lacking this mental stability, then they shouldn’t be involving themselves in their sports. If PEDs were legalized, athletes who are already using could stop worrying about getting caught while “clean” athletes could have the choice to use PEDs. However, there are athletes that want to ban steroids completely, which has caused problems and tensions in the sports industries. So, yes there are some “pros” of legalizing-for example leveling out the competition-but why legalize something that removes human nature from an activity that revolves around natural ability? This topic is something that people of all ages need to be aware of and informing the students at Parker is a great place to start. may 2013 THE SCRIBE



Football and girls’ volleyball, two major fall sports teams on campus, will have to say goodbye to their senior star players. These upcoming athletes will need to rise up and assume leadership roles on varsity teams.



Sophomore Khaleel Jenkins will be the starting varsity football quarterback for next year. This position was previously held by senior Gabe Harrington. After observing and playing alongside Harrington for two years, Jenkins is ready to take on his new leadership role on the football team. Harrington explains, “Khaleel is a terrific athlete and a smart kid. It can be very tough to take over the starting role; a lot of pressures are put on you, but Khaleel is a level-headed kid and a natural leader. I have great expectations for him.” Being a quarterback is much more than what spectators see on the field: it is helping others during practice, being a role model in a school environment, and being a positive influence in the locker

room. Jenkins says, “My job is to pick guys up when they’re down, and to be a vocal leader on the field. Technically I’m not the captain, but quarterbacks are natural leaders on the field.” Jenkins is relaxed and confident about his upcoming position in the fall. “I don’t feel pressure for next year because it will be my third year on varsity. I’m mostly excited for the experience,” says Jenkins. He also has new plans to make sure the 2013 season is a successful one. As Harrington explains, “[Jenkins] will be put into a different kind of offense next year more suited to his traits, which will help him excel.” With this and a few other tricks up his sleeve, Jenkins is ready to lead his team to the CIF playoffs next year.

After winning this year’s CIF and State championships, junior Michaela Dews is practicing hard to ensure that the varsity girls’ volleyball team will win another title. Since her freshman year, Dews has been a crucial player on the team. Winning another championship is all she can think about. “I want to do the same thing we did last year: plan for a championship. It’s important [that] we focus on what’s ahead and to prepare for it the best way possible,” says Dews. “She’s always so positive on the court, even when the game becomes a little tighter; she rises to the occasion and holds her composure,” says her teammate, senior Sarah Schnell. Rather than just playing, captains are responsible for making sure the team

stays in line, are role models for other players, and are the collective team voice. Dews wants her senior year to be the year that she steps up and assumes a leadership role on the team. “A lot of the past captains have done a good job of giving me someone to look up to, and I really want to take on that role, too,” she says. “I also want to make sure that as a captain, I don’t start any drama and I am sure to extinguish anything that can sway our chances of winning a title.” Dews is looking forward to the next season with her fellow seniors Sarah Benjamin, Alex Deddeh, Sam Deddeh, and Torri Johnson. And as for the departing players? Schnell has lots of confidence in Dews. “Michaela will bring her big arm swing and beaming smile to lead the team to victory next year!”

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Fitzner has been a force in three different sports over the course of his high school career: football, basketball, and volleyball. “Playing three sports this year was a lot of work, but I wouldn’t have done it any other way,” says Fitzner. “I really appreciate all the support I have gotten from my family, teammates, and coaches.” His dynamic combination of size and experience will be missed on both the field and court here at Parker by his teammates. “Bryce was the anchor to our team. It was great having an experienced leader who was able to come up big in the clutch,” says junior Dane Norman. Bryce is going to continue his athletic career as a football player at Kansas State University. “I’m excited for the challenges of college football,” he says, “and will work hard every day to get better.”

ERIKA CONNERS Conners is a four-year letterman, has been the starting setter on the team since her sophomore year, and led Parker to a CIF and State championship her senior year. “As a passer, it was great to have an experienced setter like Erika who made smart decisions and plays,” says senior Sarah Schnell. “Alexis [Salmons] and I worked together into order to become better players and leaders because of our desire to win,” Conners says. Alexis and Erika faced adversity throughout their Parker volleyball careers because of the constant head-coaching changeovers.“The pace of the game is a lot faster but Parker has definitely prepared me for all of the obstacles coming my way,” Conners says. She will compete with two seniors next year at UC Davis to be the starting setter.

ARIANNA GASTELUM Gastelum has been the number-one player for Parker girls’ golf team for the past two years. She won 2012 Player of the Year for the Coastal League. “My favorite part [about playing golf] was spending time with [the other players] and basically just being complete idiots,” says Gastelum. Many of her teammates will miss not only her great ability on the golf course, but also her great personality. “She [is] really funny and energetic so she made us all ready to play matches,” says junior McKenna Allard. Gastelum has an uncanny ability of both keeping her teammates loose and performing at the highest level. Next year, she will be taking her talents to Drake University. “I’m looking forward to traveling year round, instead of just one season!” Gastelum says. LANCERS GOING TO THE NEXT LEVEL

Soccer Princeton University

Crew UC Los Angeles

Softball & Volleyball Amherst Univsersity

Tennis UC Los Angeles

Football Washington in St. Louis

Lacrosse University of Arizona

Sailing Brown University

Football Claremont Mckenna

Cross Country Wesleyan University

Football Colby University

Soccer Seattle University

Golf San Diego State

Soccer Emory University

Volleyball Saint Mary’s College

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the scribe 2012-13



Some would argue the most unruly time of senior year is every single day of the third trimester. Some would say Powderpuff. But one day stands out as more than unruliness, and even more than rebellious. The day of legend, where classes’ deeds are set in stone. Throughout the years, this day has marked what some call the best and some call the worst of senior traditions. A senior class’ legacy: the Senior Prank.


1996 L i f e ’ s a B E a ch

1998 A N i m a l H o us e

1999 RED , wh i t e , a n d GL U E re-creation

2009 Lady(BUG) Killers re-creation


may 2013 THE SCRIBE

This day in the middle of May transformed the campus into a poolside beach complete with red decorations. Overnight, truckloads of sand were piled onto the grassy commons area, a pool was filled, and red beach chairs were set up. “A student’s free period had become a period at the beach,” recalls Assistant Head of Upper School Mr. Marc Thiebach, “and that is what a senior prank should be like.” It was even complete with BBQ food and a diving board. Organized by the senior class representative, who went on to become an event planner, this prank enveloped the campus in red. Pranks and events included: a Mariachi band, a senior in an ape suit scaring people, a giant water balloon fight, a trampoline, a petting zoo, and 10,000 pounds of sand to create a dune buggy course that was complete with offroad vehicles.

Veteran teachers remember this day well. Rooms, rancid with the smell of vodka, had red graffiti dripping down the walls. Doors—which at that time still had manual locks—were glued shut. Teachers couldn’t even open their rooms, and windows had to be broken into, doors kicked down. The consequence was $10,000 worth of property damage, according to Mr. Patrick Mitchell, the Upper School head at the time.

The infamous lady-bug prank was intended to surprise and shock the student body, and not necessarily to think about the genocide of the little red bugs that was about to occur. Years after this prank, the critters continue to be found in electrical outlets, encyclopedias, the corners of study rooms, and in the nightmares of Mr. Thiebach.

WHat would be Your Dream Senior P r a nk ?

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Cut down all the trees in honor of La Jolla Country Day.


Putting Mr. Barksy’s car on craigslist. Or, filling the office with various zoo animals that have been previously fed.


Laxitives in the water system and a senior in every bathroom.


Flood the with pugs.



Switch the Parker senior class with the Bishops senior class for one day.



Patrick Barba: I’ll be on the eternal quest for happiness. Sally Aul: I’ll be on my meteoric rise to success in the architecture world. Molly Morrison: I’ll be married to Jack Benoit in a mansion made of gold with nine puppies. Madison Gerace: I’ll be sleeping at 8 in the morning. Brent Breslau: I will still be snapchatting Caroline Merkin. Raphie Cantor: I’ll be a starving writer washing cars in Hollywood, leaving scripts on studio execs seats. Molly O’Meara: Jamal and I will be married after meeting in North Carolina. He will take care of the kids while I perform on Broadway. Hank Childs: I’ll be the president of the country of Texas. Erika Conners: I’ll be married to one of the Fitzners raising our super athletic children. Eva Scarano: I will be living with Savannah Philyaw in a nudist colony in Tahiti. Olivia Wei: I’ll be probably stuck in med school. Kevin Eve: I’ll still be explaining to Patrick Barba how much cooler I am than him. Tess Exumé: I will be 20 years behind on sleep. Ryan Wantanabe: I’ll still be third wheeling with Sean and Sam. Nahum Mendoza: I’ll be having a Parker building named after me. Zack Frailey: I’ll be a groupie for Jesus Jimenez. Dalton Sheehan: I’ll be still working on my thesis. Jake Glasser: Living in a lake house with Brent Breslau. Evan Bramberg: I’ll be using the millions I have made by curing cancer to travel the world with my family.

Vishnu Pokala: I will be somewhere. Matt Gluck: I will be Parker Stow’s human friend. Also, I wanna be rich. That would make me sooo happy. Nils Green: I’ll be living it large in Sweden. Kay Toma: Olivia Wei and I will have finally attended Mr. Lewis’s wedding to Dr. Flewis. Joseph Haack: I’ll be exploring the world, watching live soccer matches every week, but more importantly loving and experiencing life. Michael Smargon: I’ll be 37. Kasey Hutcheson: I will be probably changing my career for the sixth time. Indecision never dies. Tom Chidlaw: I’ll be living in a middle-class neighborhood with a wife and kids, working normal days with no say in my job. Because let’s be real, someone with my work ethic is not getting rich. Jesus Jimenez: I may be a priest and compose for royalty. Amy Irving: I’ll be traveling in some obscure country, preferably on horseback, preferably with Dylan. Mongolia sounds like a good place to be in 20 years. Hailey Ralston: I’ll be still attempting to catch up on sleep and the reading, and failing miserably because there are just so many other (better?) things to do. David Nussbaum: I’ll be living with my sister. Savannah Philyaw: I’ll be touring the world and Taylor Swift will be my opening act. Katie Reilly: I’ll be still procrastinating doing this english paper. Parker Stow: Doin’ my own thing and living the dream more or less. Also, my only friends will probably all be cats. Rukman Thota: I will be running the THOTA & KOKA clothing company. Tony Witt: I will have even more of my debonair attractiveness and be even more humble. Andres Gomez: Head of School. Stanley Gambucci: I’ll be working in the stock market, probably investing in gold, married to a pretty lady, three kids, two boys and a girl—just kidding I’ll be poor and gay. Walker Newton: I’ll be still pretending to like people.

may 2013 THE SCRIBE


The seniors go out, not with a whimper but with a bang. Here is the juicest dirt that they were never willing to share before:


Nils Green: “Stop trying so hard.” Hank Childs: To Alex Clark: “I threw the egg that broke your window sophomore year.” Matt Gluck: I wish I had told that Matt Gluck kid to stop talking so much and get a haircut. Vishnu Pokala: “Stop with the sass everyone.” Anonymous: To everyone: “Stop trying to be me. Seriously, just stop. It’s not cute.” David Nussbaum: “I have never not said what was on my mind.” David Wright: “Dear Sakura, I love you. Ever since I first laid eyes on you that day at the academy, I have been at your feet. I always did my best to get the attention of your sparkling eyes. Lost in your snow-white skin, I’d stare but you’d never notice because you’d stare at Sasuke. Why do you love him? Are you too lost in his crimson-red Sharingan to see he is lost in the dark? But fret not, for I am here, here to give you what you always deserved. Love, Booty.”


may 2013 THE SCRIBE


Molly Morrison: My sophomore year, I confidently argued for the current existence of saber-toothed tigers. In front of an entire class. Apparently they went out with the dinosaurs. Hailey Ralston: I may have hit someone’s really ugly expensive car with my hand-me-down Honda, twice. Katie Reilly: Freshman year. Grace Nicklin: Getting Hannah Montana and MGMT mixed up in Harrington jeopardy... Jake Siegler: Tearing a hole in my shorts during a game of lunchtime basketball and failing to notice as I walked into 6th period. Baby got back... Claire Kim: I mean... Once you get your cover to Korea Daily printed for the enitre school to see... there’s not much more to be embarrassed about... so....



Raphie Cantor: Throwing water balloons at underclassmen from rooftops like a senior should. Grace Nicklin: Never doing my homework....actually, no, I don’t. Lexie Smallwood: Finding the fort in the canyon. Michael Smargon: Having an article on me in The Scribe. Tony Witt: Join a cult.I started one, but that’s a little different... Brent Breslau: Having my very own “Ferris Bueller’s” day off. David Nussbaum: I regret never getting onto a roof. I feel like I missed out on a whole different perspective. I was so consumed by the little things every day that I forgot to sit back and enjoy the experience from above. Evan Bramberg: Trying to climb the Parker social ladder. Sarah Schnell: Attending floatbuilding... not. Tess Exumé: Sleeping more.


Anonymous: I punched a hole in the locker room. Grace Nicklin: I have a newfound phobia of pools... Anonymous: On multiple occasions I have drawn inappropriate things on Shane Mahvi’s car. Frannie Gascoigne: I actually read every assigned reading book in my high school career. Anonymous: I once peed on the Bishop’s lacrosse field. Tom Chidlaw: This one time, I studied for a test. Zach Frailey: I have a man–crush on Mr. Wineholt. Anonymous: I love you. Matthew Spees: Females terrify me. Anonymous: I don’t actually like Beyoncé. Kevin Eve: My dirty little secret is that I don’t trust The Scribe with my dirty little secret. Anonymous: I’ve gotten a B before.

may 2013 THE SCRIBE


Conversations with the coolest kids on campus article and photographs by patrick riley

K y r a Gh o sh Kyra Ghosh likes food. There’s not much else to say. Her favorite meal from Cafe Parker is, without question, the macaroni and cheese, but she also enjoys pasta with garlic bread, cheeseburgers, and chicken teriyaki bowls. When asked to describe herself in one phrase, Ghosh insisted that “slow is beautiful.” That mentality definitely pays off on the tennis court, where she is a Varsity player and senior leader. As she departs for the dark unknown that is her future, she would like to wish her “sista for life,” Olivia, a happy and healthy completion to her high school career. What is your most appealing quality?

I would say probably my hair and eyes and face, and body. What is your most embarrassing Parker moment?

In 8th grade, I made my entire grade wait for 15 extra minutes at Disneyland so I could get a hotdog. What is the biggest difference between being an upperclassman versus an underclassman?

Upperclassmen have more hair on their bodies? If you were Mr. Barsky what would you do?

I would make a block schedule and extend lunchtime to two hours! Do you have any words of wisdom for the remaning Parker students?

I have literally tried every food item in the school cafeteria, you should try it too.

T o ny W i tt Honestly, Tony Witt is a fairly boring person. Aside from having three middle names, mastering the art of Kendo at the age of eight, and running the infamous Jazz Club on campus, Witt spends the rest of his time on the Lancer Lawn with his faithful campanion: a frisbee. His recent dedication to Ultimate Frisbee, a sport of undeniable intensity, is actually quite extraordinary. Next year, those skills are sure to prove useful as Tony takes a step up to the collegiate level. How would you describe yourself in one sentence?

Tony has amazing humility and refers to himself in the third person on occasion. What is your biggest regret of high school?

All those wasted hours studying. I could be so much better at Ultimate Frisbee. What teacher can you see yourself turning into in the future?

There’s this band teacher. It’s weird because we have the same last name. So probably him, I guess. How have you changed throughout your high school career?

I can talk to girls now without feeling self conscious. No. Wait. I can talk to girls now. What advice do you have for the remaining classes?

Don’t be our grade and the faculty may actually miss your grade when you leave.


may 2013 THE SCRIBE

L e x i e sm a l l w o o d

Lexie Smallwood is definitely not sarcastic. That was sarcasm. In her free time, Smallwood runs, rides horses, and attempts to play tennis. Other hobbies include eating, correcting grammar, and not taking care of her house plants. One of her best Parker moments that she’d like us all to remember, is having the winning name for the spider outside of Mr. Barsky’s office. She’d also like to make a special, slightly embarrassing shoutout to welcome her favorite incoming freshman: Chase Smallwood. What do you do in your spare time?

I write poetry My impromptu haikus rock Send this to Bema

What is your biggest regret of high school?

I think I said “YOLO” once as a joke, but I still regret it. What is your best Senior Prank idea?

Put Chai Barsky in a giant pen filled with thousands of other pugs. If you had to repeat high school, what would you do differently?

I would be the one to discover Macklemore and constantly complain about him becoming too mainstream. Freshman year, did you ever envision yourself becoming the person you are now?

Nope. I imagined myself going more in the emo/goth direction.

p a r k e r st o w Parker Stow is perhaps the biggest ladies man on campus. Aside from wooing the ladies with scented candles, lava lamps, and reading books in trees, his talents include (shirtless) running, hacky sacking, and getting poison oak on hikes. He also has an adventurous streak, during which he enjoys sxploring the canyons behind school with the Great Everett Waterman. This year, Stow has broken out of his mold and is making the most of his Senior year. What is your most embarrassing Parker moment?

My general interactions with girls between Kindergarten to 10th grade. Are you involved in the Senior Prank this year?

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what a Senior Prank is. I’ve only heard of the “Senior Celebration.” Which was your least favorite year of high school?

Sophomore year I got diamond earrings at one point and then took them out three days later because I was intimidated by Mr. Crowley’s piercing gaze. That alone should be an indicator of how the year went. What is one thing you’d change about Parker?

I would like to have better abs and more well-defined pectoral muscles. Is there anything else you think I should know?

I really like cats and I sort of like Arielle Swedback. But mostly cats. may 2013 THE SCRIBE





Brent Breslau, on behalf of the OGs, leave Laura’s credit card to Lou Tauber, so that no child be left hungry after school. Andres Gomez, leave behind my passion and evasive nature to Alex Barnes, Milan Marrero, and Max Feye and Cheyenne Tabb my socks and sandals so she won’t stop being beautiful. Frannis Gascoigne, leave my quiet yet undeniable wit, humor, sass, and cynicism to the wonderful Esther Cheng. Will Gaines, leave Jonah Davis my number 14 for baseball season. Savannah Philyaw, leave Cian Lavin my daily joy, love, and cheer. Kevin Eve, leave Jack Benoit my classic style and effortless way with the ladies. Tess Exumé, leave my love of rowing to Gina Barba, and loud laugh to Hadley Debello. Eva Scarano, leave my twerking abilities to the one and only Grant Shives. Zach Frailey, leave my place as the school’s coolest Colombian to Señor Gomez. Jake Glasser, leave my good charm to Jack Benoit because he needs it. Matt Gluck, leave the job of entertaining the cross country team to Jeremy Kahan, my inability to stop talking to Ali Oswald and Taylor Salmons, my best-friendship with Kiernan Aiston to Andy Bickel, and I guess I leave my socks to Cassia Wallach. Nils Green, leave behind my senior GPA to Mr. Barsky. Ceci Jordan, leave the legacy of the squad to Kate Pasterkiewicz. Austin Martin, leave Khaleel Jenkins, Daven Horne, Ayman Mayberry, Alex Jones, and Nate Abernethy the torch; carry it with pride, my brothers. David Nussbaum, leave my deep resonating voice to Braden Salvati, until puberty graces him with one. Also, I leave my petite ankles to my sister, Claire, for obvious reasons.

Michelle Pond, leave behind my beloved football team to Mackenzie Rowe. Take care of my boys, they need a lot of love and patience. Zach Copeland, leave Charlie Bullard my excellent frisbee skills (because he desperately needs them). Katie Reilly, leave Leah Munson and Christina Clark the management of the JV girls’ soccer team and Mr. Barsky during advisory. I do not leave my jean shorts to Cassia Wallach, I’d like those back please. Matthew Spees, leave my athletic excellence to Ayman Mayberry. Olivia Wei, leave behind my bird Lou, reason, and sense of reality to Matthew Wei. Hank Childs, leave Lu Mestre my sweatshirt for cold days. John David Wright, leave Chris Papa the O-line shirt and Mickey Miller the #65. Joseph Haack, leave Andre Boyance my ability to leave my house super late and still make it on time to school. Amy Irving, leave Alex Deddeh and Dylan Kauth-Gullett my captainship of Improv. I also leave Dylan the other half of my pokeball necklace. Molly Morrison, leave my spot on the bench to Torri Johnson and the lost and found bin to Claire Klein. Rukman Thota, leave Sanjay and Sapna my curry recipes hidden in the ceiling of the library in Study Room A. K-Dawg (Kay Toma), leave behind our rap group “K-Dawg and Olive,” as well as our fresh beats, to Olivia Heifitz. Zach Frailey, leave my place as the school’s coolest Colombian to Señor Gomez. Vishnu Pokala, leave the tennis team with Alec Morgan and Matthew Miller. Claire Kim, leave my Asian sass to Audrey Yang and my love for late night refrigerators to Dutra Brown.


may 2013 THE SCRIBE


Who would you like to speak at graduation?

Can you teach me how to dougie?

Name a smoothie after yourself:

If you call me maybe.

The French Drench

I can teach you to do more than dougie.

Grease Monster: consists of good looks, hard work, swag, and class.

According to Mrs. Duehr, pH strips.

Mitt Romney, he’s a stud.

Go to college, study business, and hopefully join the Navy eventually.

Can you teach me how to dougie?

The King James

Blood, sweat, and tears — mostly blood though.

Mr. Barsky

Go to college, duh.

The Latina Swirl.

A Latina Swirl.

Alan Rickman. His voice is like chocolate.

Attend Stephen Armstrong’s celebratory bookburning bonfire.

Killer Bee

I don’t taste victory I eat it. It’s always sweet never salty.

Based God

Play football for Kansas State. Go Wildcats.

What does victory taste like?


After I graduate I plan to...

Whoopi Goldberg

I’m graduating...?

Alex Frachon

Sam Bagheri

James Wamsley

Only if you can teach me how to twerk. Arianna Gastelum

Bryce Fitzner

No, but I could teach you how to Cat Daddy.



Jeremy Lamb may 2013 THE SCRIBE


University of Washington Caroline Suttie Seattle University Shane Mahvi

University of Puget Sound Tess Exumé


University of Portland Nicole Simmons University of Oregon Adam Bloom Nils Green UC Berkeley Tony Armas Meghan Babla Alex Clark Maggie McGregor Sam Melville David Nussbaum Parker Stow Kay Toma Everett Waterman University of San Francisco Marisa Young California College of the Arts Kaitlin Garza Santa Clara University Lexie Smallwood California Lutheran University Dani Cohn UC Los Angeles Dominique Cetale Christine Buckley California Institute of Technolgy David LeBaron

Rocky Mountain College Amy Irving UC Davis Jacob Siegler Erika Conners St. Mary’s College of California Alexis Salmons

Loyola Marymount University Hailey Ralston University of Denver Solia Yaley Kelly Mahaffey Claremont McKenna College Riley Maniforld Jake Glasser Scripps College Kansas State University Olivia Wei Bryce Fitzner Pitzer College Kyra Ghosh University of Arizona University of Redlands Maria Duong Texas Christian Chris McAuliffe University Will Gaines Sam Bagheri Grace Nicklin Robert Mahoney Suzanna Tomey Michelle Pond Taylor Romero

University of Southern California Soka University Stephen Amstrong of America Raphie Cantor Elyse Watson Christian Jimenez Katie Kreitzer University of San Diego Chapman University Connor Polk Arianna Dicker Paola Coronado Daniel Ruiz Jacky Salomé Inigo Sanchez Sarah Schnell


may 2013 THE SCRIBE

University of Colorado Boulder Andres Gomez Eric Lee Walker Newton David Wright

Baylor University San Diego State Madison Gerace University Cooper Luvisa Nahum Mendoza Vishnu Pokala Rukman Thota Tony Witt Hawai’i Pacific University Natalie Contreras

Colby College Gabe Harrington Boston College Roxy Roncarolo de Vries Amherst College Boston University Jackie Buechler Calen Bole Alena Silberman University of Michigan Michigan State Wellesley College Middlebury College University Claire Bryan Ciaran Gallagher Joseph Haack Jade Willey Eva Scarano Case Western Berklee College of Music Brad Tauber Reserve University Ryan Watanabe Gina Belli Cornell University Evan Bramberg Northeastern University Rosana Murphy Sarah Osborne Katie Reilly Loyola University Chicago Syracuse Dalton Sheehan Alex Frachon University Caroline Martinez Brown University Adam D’Onofrio Kevin Eve (Gap Year) Ellie Molise Austin Martin Molly Morrison Diego Torres-Torija Rhode Island School of Design Alexandra Alemany Columbia College Chicago Trinity College Ceci Jordan Caroline Feeney Wesleyan University University of Notre Dame Drake University Matt Gluck Brent Breslau Shannon Fisher St. John’s University Arianna Gastelum Miami University Zach Frailey Kate Dodge Fordham University James Madison Claire Kim University Washington University Tisch School of the Arts (NYU) Savannah Philyaw in St. Louis Stanley Gambucci Hank Childs University of Virgina Princeton University Sally Aul Patrick Barba Elon University Haverford College Molly O’Meara Frannie Gascoigne Emory University Drexel University Sean Naficy Southern Methodist University Megan Allcock Matt Spees Tom Chidlaw Toni Mendez Lily Thomas University of Pennsylvania Kasey Hutcheson Villanova University James Wamsley Franklin and Marshall College Maya Jackson Gap Year Colin Grey Jesus Jimenez Not Confirmed Ivan Jichi

Attending College Abroad Jennifer Nugent-Sciences Politique & Columbia Univeristy Dual B.A. Program Santiago Romo-Instituto Tecnologico de Monterrey

University of Richmond Zach Copeland Duke University Michael Smargon

may 2013 THE SCRIBE



Issue 5  
Issue 5