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March 25 - April 7, 2010 VOLUME 10 : ISSUE 7

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The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

about the cover

A word from your Local sponsor

Steamboat’s Terrain Master

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march 11 - march 24, 2010 VOLUME 10 : ISSUE 6

lights of the groomers patrolling the ski area at night, you’ve Dolby® Mobile music player Create & manage playlists probably wondered what it’s FM Tuner with 12 station presets Sync Music from PC to phone like to be inside of one. This 3.2 megapixel camera & camcorder Shortcut key for top social networks past night The Local was given And much more! the opportunity to ride shotBuy 1 LG Chocolate® TOUCH for Chase Davis, a 5 year gun with $29.99, get up to 4 more free! Steamboat Ski Area snow-cat with new 2-yr activation req’d. First LG Chocolate® TOUCH veteran, and the man in charge 2-yr Contract Price.................$129.99 Mail-In Rebate Debit Card.......–50.00 of shaping Steamboat’s four terInstant In-Store Rebate...........–50.00 Your Price........................ $29.99 rain parks. 2nd LG Chocolate® TOUCH (Up to 4) Originally from Winter Park, 2-yr Contract Price.................$129.99 Mail-In Rebate Debit Card.......–50.00 Chase moved to Steamboat in Instant In-Store Rebate...........–79.00 Your Price.......................... FREE 2003 to attend CMC. To pay Each device requires data package the bills he began working for $9.99 or higher the ski area plowing snow in 846-2000 846-7000 the parking lots. In subsequent 675 S. Lincoln 1755 Central Park winters he moved up the ladder to groomer and during the winter of 08-09 he was given the FREE opportunity to take over the terrain park duties. He now works Xxxx nightly from 5pm - 2am molding and sculpting the jumps and features of the terrain parks into the high-flying works of art that they are. Ski Magazine has voted Steamboat as having one of the 10 best terrain parks in the United States and last season Chase was nominated as a finalist for the coveted Terrain Master award by the Colorado Ski Association.

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Our Surcharges incl. Fed. Univ. Svc. of 14.1% of interstate & int’l telecom charges, 7¢ Regulatory & 92¢ Administrative/line/mo., & others by area are not taxes (details: 1-888-684-1888); gov’t taxes & our surcharges could add 5% - 37% to your bill. Activation fee/line: $35 ($25 for secondary Family SharePlan lines w/ 2 yr Agmts) IMPORTANT CONSUMER INFORMATION: Subject to Cust. Agrmt., Calling Plan, rebate form & credit approval. Up to $175 free to all. share with friends. early termination fee ($350 for advanced devices) & other charges. Add’l charges & conditions apply. Offers & coverage, varying by service, not available everywhere. Rebate debit card takes up to 6 weeks & expires in 12 months. Limited-time offer. While supplies last. Network details & coverage maps at verizonwireless.com. Chocolate® is a trademark of LG. © 2010 Verizon Wireless. 031510CHOCO

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S ome other random info about the Steamboat Slope and Vehicle Maintenance department. - Steamboat has 19 snow-cats, including 2 $430,000 BR500 Prinoths - the biggest, fastest snow-cats in the world and 2 of only 5 in the entire US - 13 cats are used for nightly grooming, 5 for transport and utility, 1 specialized half-pipe cutter, and 1 backup. - There are 17 full time sno-cat operators on staff and 5 full time mechanics to keep everything running - The department also maintains 34 snowmobiles - 500 acres are groomed on average each night - Each snow-cat uses 40-60 gallons of diesel fuel per night - Maximum grooming speed is 13 mph

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Our Surcharges incl. Fed. Univ. Svc. of 14.1% of interstate & int’l telecom charges, 7¢ Regulatory & 92¢ Administrative/line/mo., & others by area are not taxes (details: 1-888-684-1888); gov’t taxes & our surcharges could add 5% - 37% to your bill. Activation fee/line: $35 ($25 for secondary Family SharePlan lines w/ 2 yr Agmts) IMPORTANT CONSUMER INFORMATION: Subject to Cust. Agrmt., Calling Plan, rebate form & credit approval. Up to $175 early termination fee ($350 for advanced devices) & other charges. Add’l charges & conditions apply. Offers & coverage, varying by service, not available everywhere. Rebate debit card takes up to 6 weeks & expires in 12 months. Limited-time offer. While supplies last. Network details & coverage maps at verizonwireless.com. Chocolate® is a trademark of LG. © 2010 Verizon Wireless. 031510CHOCO

- the lunatics are running the asylum -

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The following quotes were sent from Colorado area codes to textsfromlastnight.com:

Corey Haim died. 80’s me is so sad -


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

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He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douche bag - textsfromlastnight.com




The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

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The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

editor’s notes

Crime and Lack of Punishment ThomasReuter

Editor in Chief

Back in December, I wrote a column titled, “Make $18,710/month in the 14th Judicial District!” (Volume 9, Issue 25) In that column I analyzed 3 local embezzlement cases that were prosecuted last year. Averaged together, the perpetrators in each case averaged only 30 days in jail for each $18,710 that they stole from local businesses and non-profits. Based on these relaxed punishments I predicted that we would see an increasing amount of embezzlement cases in 2010. Sadly - but not surprisingly - this prediction has come true. This week, the case of Kati More became public. Ms. More, it seems, was emboldened by the light sentences that the DA’s office was handing out so she decided to steal $70,000 dollars from the Loggers Lane Business Owners Association, of which she served as treasurer. From 2008 until February 2010, Kati methodically fleeced the group’s funds, using the money to pay for everything from phone bills to new carpet to lingerie. When her elaborate swindle was finally discovered, however, Ms. More received very little punishment. In fact, she wasn’t even arrested. Because Ms. More was able to pay back all of the money she stole in a fairly short period of time, the president of the Owners Association, Rob Ryg, decided not to press charges. To understand his decision, it helps to know that Mr. Ryg is the pastor of the Euzoa Bible Church here in Steamboat. By all accounts Mr. Ryg is a decent guy who lives by his Christian beliefs, and this includes the forgiveness of sins. He is also the elected Routt County Coroner and he works closely with the police department on many cases. Needless to say, he is well respected and his wishes carry quite a bit of weight around town. With this in mind, it is understandable that Mr. Ryg chose to forgive the person that trespassed against him, and it is understandable that the police respected his decision not to press charges. At this point I should point out that the state does not have to respect the decision of a victim in order to press charges. For example, in domestic abuse cases, often times a victim may decide that they don’t want their spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend prosecuted for hitting them. This choice may come out of fear, or love, or simply because they decided it wasn’t a big deal. In the eyes of the state, however, domestic abuse cannot be tolerated so charges are filed anyway. When this happens, if the victim remains uncooperative with the state’s prosecution of the case, the victim can be charge with

Meet The Locals

obstruction of justice. In Ms. More’s case, if Mr. Ryg is truly the reason why the case was not prosecuted, he faces a major dilemma. On one hand he should be highly commended for living his Christian ideals. He sets an excellent example for the people of his church, and for humanity at large. The world needs more people like him. On the other hand, however, this case sets a horrible, horrible example for the local community. The outcome encourages would-be thieves to steal from their employers and possibly bankrupt local businesses, and the children of Steamboat will become even more disillusioned by the unfairness of the fact that they are continually arrested, prosecuted, and punished without mercy for minor crimes such as possessing alcohol and marijuana. Oddly enough, it seems that everyone in this case loses except Ms. More. The people of Steamboat are disgusted, the police are disappointed they have to let a criminal go free, the children of Steamboat will foster further contempt for law enforcement, and Rob Ryg is the bad guy precisely for the reason that he’s actually a really good guy. There is a solution to all of this, though. Pastor Rob Ryg should be arrested and charged with obstruction of justice. Think about it, everyone would win. Mr. Ryg would be put on trial for forgiving Mr. More’s sins and be given the opportunity to truly demonstrate the conviction of walking the Christian walk. (In an increasingly secular world, what a refreshing example that would be.) In addition, Ms. More would be arrested and face felony charges so the police would be happy because the law was being enforced. The children would still be ticked off about being treated like criminals, but less so. And the rest of the community would be satisfied that justice was served. It’s so simple. Everyone wins - except for Ms. More, who should lose, because it’s not right to steal $70,000 and get off scott free.

Editor-in-Chief - Thomas Reuter: Thomas is a Colorado Native and a resident of Steamboat since 1993. He and his wife, Kimberley are fueled by love for each other, traveling and the outdoors.

Senior Editor-Joe Carney: Copy Editor, Layout, Boatload of Entertainment, Movie Reviews and Calenders. Photography and Nightlife Shenanigans

Paul and Ellen Bonnifield - Our Story: Researching and writing together for over 35 years and they still like each other. Writing, he is loquacious, she taciturn; verbally, they reverse roles. Both enjoy the outdoors, laughing and dancing.

Inebriated Informant: The Inebriated Informant seeks solace in the large bosom of The Steamboat Local. Due to his near-continuous inebriation he chooses to hide his identity in anonymity - like Batman.

Chelsea Yepello - 'Scopes to Live By: Chelsea Yepello has been a Steam-

boat local since monkeys could walk on two feet and has been the scope lady for fiveish years. Chelsea is the only known survivor of the governmental experiment of ingesting Pop Rocks and soda at the same time. She hates bananas, raisins, root beer and peanut butter.

Lena Franzen: - According to Astrology: Lena originally from Sweden, has been a Massage Therapist here in Steamboat since 1986. She has been practicing Astrology since 1995. Her office is on 2955 Village Drive (corner of Walton Creek Road).

Jonah Weil- Age 13, is the cartoonist of “Walks Like a Duck.”He lives in Boulder, Colorado, but Steamboat is his favorite place to ski so he visits often. He is a student at Alexander Dawson School.

Chris Walsh- The ? Comic: Likes to draw pictures of himself in awkward situations!

Dr. Dawn Obrecht - Dr. Dawn's Rx: Dr. Dawn is the only MD addiction medicine specialist on Colorado’s western slope. She is a Fellow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine and teaches a course to medical students at CU Denver.

Justin Barker: Justin Barker has left town again to chase the almighty dollar in Saudi Arabia. His wife Teresa Villarroya Bronchal is waiting. Will he come back mounted proud upon a gleaming horse flying down out of the sky or crawling on his belly up from out of the sand?

"KatNThaHat" - Sports: T.D. Counts aka “That guy”. Snuck over the pass in 2000 and was hooked. Now on the radio, 1230 am ESPN radio, Monday and Thursday, 4-6pm. Born in Pasadena, CA, raised in Long Island, NY and a graduate in psychology from UWGB.

Scott L. Ford - Do You See What I See? Columnist for The Local since January 2003. Retired from CMC, he is currently a volunteer in several Yampa Valley economic development projects. He is married with three adult children and a chocolate Labrador Retriever, Tobias.

Nacho Neighbor: Graduate of Lehigh University and best described as a “practicing hedonist”. He likes his beef rare, martinis shaken, and his women conscious. He is all about Routt. His mantra: If you’re gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough!

Charlie Holthausen -  Captain Carburetor's Shop Talk: Born in northern NJ, he has called Steamboat home since 1995. Founder of Black Diamond Automotive and Master certified for over 25 years. Recently he has been working on building an “Art Car”

Far Flung CorrespondentDean Tresner Is an international boulevardier with an attendant sense of style, wonder and loathing. He’s currently perched at the foot of the mountain.

Allison Tonini - Intern Originally from Kentucky, where they train the horses and let the women run wild, it was only a matter of time before this mountain mama found herself seeking adventure in the Rocky Mountains. Her free spirit now has her working for free as an intern at The Local. Coffee anyone?

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Jessica Leon-Guerrero • www.digigirlstudio.com • 970-819-7100 The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my... - textsfromlastnight.com




The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

Our Story

Memories from the Past Part X: Dude Todd #6 Paul&EllenBonnifield

The Local • Steamboat Springs The last issue ended with the Colorado Supreme Court allowing Oak Creek to operate its municipal electric system. Soon after winning the court decision, the owner of the private system came into the town office and closed the door. “Well,” he said to Todd, “you beat me. I’ll give you a job for life and $35,000 to make this thing fail.” ($35,000 seems like a very large bribe to me.) Todd refused. A few nights later Todd was doubling as a marshal patrolling the town. (To keep costs down the Town Manager often worked as marshal. When the mines were working, Oak Creek was a very lively place.) After work he drove to the city hall and started to go inside when two men jumped him. He was forced into a car and driven beyond Palace Hill where the men stopped the car and nearly beat Dude to death. (On the old highway between Oak Creek and Phippsburg was the railroad spur and community of Palace.) Regaining consciousness, he managed to get back to Palace where he called his friend and lawyer Ray Munson. Munson advised Todd to say nothing and get out of

town. Todd decided to stay in town. His wife Dorothy was terminally ill. She began getting phone calls threatening her and the children unless Todd left town. This went on for about a year. One night Todd was again working as marshal when two men grabbed him and forced him into a car. He was taken over the Twenty Mile road to Trout Creek (Mule Gulch as it was then called). The men removed his shoes

Dude started with his first meeting with Black. He was about eleven years old and was returning from Oak Creek to his home on Morrison Creek. Coming to the junction bridge where the road crossed the river, (bridge at Stagecoach inlet) Andy and George were standing in the middle of the road with guns drawn. A bootlegger sitting on a high wagon seat was coming down the road toward them. When the bootlegger saw the two men, he turned the wagon around and started to run. As he fled, he was shot. Andy, who did not know Todd had ridden up behind them, turned and saw the boy. Andy walked over and said, “You never saw anything, and you had better not tell anyone.” Todd admitted, “I sure kept my mouth shut for many years.” When Todd first became Town Manager, Black was running the prostitution in Hickory Flats. Hundreds of single men passed through Oak Creek and the mining camps during the months when mines were working. Hickory Flats had dark alleys. Johns were often beaten and robbed and a few killed. Todd decided

ing, and th y n a w sa r e v e n u o Y “ yone.” n a ll te t o n r e tt e b d a you h and ordered him to walk away from town. A little later a rancher found him along the road and took him home. Soon after that the power company changed hands and Todd and his family were no longer harassed. I asked Dude about Andy Black. For years Andy ran Routt County’s underworld. Routt County’s organized crime was never an equal to Denver or other Colorado cities or mining towns. Still, it was organized crime and many prominent citizens and officials were in Andy’s pay.

something needed to be done. He and the marshals raided a couple of places. The Girls told him, “I’m a good girl. I pay every month.” When asked who they paid, he was told “Dick Phelps.” Before Andy moved in, Phelps was a power force in Oak Creek’s night life. Now he was Andy’s collection boy. Todd went to Phelps and asked how much the Girls were paying. “One hundred dollars” was the response. Then Todd asked how much Phelps was getting. He got 10 percent. Andy got $90 a month from September to April. Each Girl received twentyfive cents per trick. Something had to be done. If prostitution were shut down, the “good “young women of Oak Creek ran a risk of being attacked. It happened in other towns. Todd went to the Girls and told them to move downtown into a couple of hotels where it was safe for the Johns to come and go. They were not to pay anyone protection money. What they made was theirs. They could operate if the streets were safe for everyone. The streets of Oak Creek stayed safe for women and children. It was generally believed that the D&SL and miner owners (same people) were behind Todd, and their wishes were absolute law in Routt County. Thus, Todd could safely ignore Black.

do you see what i see?

You Have a Right to Know Even Though There is Nothing That Can Be Done ScottFord

The Local • Steamboat Springs In the past two weeks I have been involved in several conversations. All these conversations have been with very credible people who sought my advice. What concerns me most is that as a preface to these conversations there is an unspoken oath of silence, “What is said in this room - stays in this room.” I cannot stay silent anymore. The impact of what is being planned will affect the community of Steamboat Springs forever. I fully recognize that I am betraying confidences that people have placed in me. I know that I am committing professional suicide by going public. I am going to get fired. I have agonized over this decision to go public and lost several nights’ sleep. I although I am not sure what can be done, the public has a right to know! Here goes! As we all know Fortress Group, parent company of Intrawest the owner/operator of Steamboat Ski and Resort Company has had significant financial challenges. In order to avoid bankruptcy they have had to renegotiate a huge amount of debt. To accomplish this they have sold a number of valuable assets to raise cash. Most recently, they sold their interest in Copper Mountain, the ski resort



in Summit County. Effective June 1st Intrawest is selling a large block of land locally. As soon as the mountain closes for the season, you are going to hear more about this. Once you understand the magnitude of what is involved it is understandable why absolute confidentiality was important. The deal is this - Colorado Mountain College and Fortress Group finalized last week an arrangement that involves cash and a land swap. Colorado Mountain College (CMC) is paying $9.8 million in cash to Fortress Group for the Meadows Parking Lot. In addition to the $9.8 million in cash, CMC is swapping the land where the campus is currently located to the Fortress Group. We all know that this is prime real estate. Without question, Fortress will plan to either develop this land themselves

I’m sorry for the crack den comment.You have a lovely apartment.- textsfromlastnight.com

or sell it to another developer for the construction of luxury homes. CMC is expected to receive approval from the Colorado Department of Higher Education to begin offering four-year degrees. CMC plans to offer four-year degrees in Resort Management and Hospitality Services. CMC will be the first college in the United States to offer four-year programs in these two disciplines. CMC intends to build a new campus on the site of the Meadows Parking Lot. I became involved in all these discussions because the City of Steamboat Springs and the Steamboat Springs Chamber Resort Association wanted to better understand the local economic impact associated with expanding the residential college student population. Currently, approximately 250 students live in the CMC dorm. The plan is to build three dorm facilities on the new campus that will house 1,100 students. What will be the economic impact of this increase in student population? Huge! Since CMC is a public entity, it is not subject to the usual city planning department approvals. This is likely why we have not heard anything about this earlier. The biggest sticking points associated with this deal have nothing to do with relocation and expansion of the college campus. It has nothing to do with the land

swap. The sticking points have to deal with the collection of sales and lodging taxes. As a part of the campus expansion, CMC plans to build two restaurants, a 250-room hotel, and a conference facility capable of supporting 750 people. These facilities will be operated and staffed by the college as essentially a living laboratory to support both the Resort Management and Hospitality Services degrees. This is a brilliant idea and it will help expand the bed base close to the base area. This should be a win-win for all involved. The problem is that CMC has indicated that state law exempts them from collecting sales taxes on activities that are a part of an instructional program. Obviously, both the city and the chamber disagree. The issue has been submitted to John Suthers, the state’s Attorney General for an opinion. An opinion is expected sometime in June. This place never ceases to amaze me. I felt that you have the right to know what is going on. You have the right to know that this is an April Fools’ article. Of course none of this is going to happen. Got Ya! Take a deep breath and your blood pressure will return to normal soon. The scary part is that some folks are likely very disappointed that this is not going to happen. That is how I see it!


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

Props, Gripes and Smidgens are Sponsored by:

Sports

The Board is Correct… KatNThaHat The Local • Steamboat Springs I know , I strayed away from my analogical prepositional segment titles. But March madness will do that to you. Let me just cut to it- For the first time in quite a long time, I didn’t submit, enter, “friendly wager” with anyone or any entity donate [purchase squares]. I did not sacrifice my child’s daycare $, on a hunch, tingling, inside scoop [although – if you have a point guard named Scoop, you should consider yourself a favorite.] No, I am occasionally watching NCAA hoops, when my darling wife isn’t changing the channel to: Kendra, 16 & Pregnant, or Gene Simmons Family Jewels…As much as I want to blame her for my b-ball ignorance. I couldn’t even use the radio show excuse: “Honey, I need to know what is going on, if I am going to go on[shameless plug]: Harvey’s Huddle, Monday and Thursday, 4-6pm on 1230 am ESPN Radio, or on that internet device at www.kbcr.com. No, my schedule revolves around Cooper The Great, and yes even though he is only 3 months old, he picked Kentucky! Don’t ask how he knew, I think he likes Ashley Judd too. UK has 4 starting freshman, who hopefully, will stay for another year regardless of if they win or loose in the National Title game against Syracuse. Yeah – I said it, The Cuse vs Kentucky. Never mind the fact that on my pseudo, I have a clue bracket, I missed 15 games in the 1st round. Ouch, done, like that, never had a chance if I had donated to a charitable

fund on behalf of my son. So, that makes me love my darling incredible wife even more, for allowing me to focus more on my life sitting in my lap staring at the game on the screen with me, both of us wondering if NCAA hoops will be the same in 18 years when my son is college bound. That is the angle I was looking at while watching this years tournament. Listening to the announcers state numbers like Maryland only graduated 8% of their African-American basketball players. Does that mean they played 1 year of college ball, then headed for the NBA, or Europe, maybe even Japan? Will any of the starting 5 from BYU enter their names in the NBA draft? Will any of the starting 5 from Kentucky return to school for their 2nd year of college? Will the high school phenom who skipped college to go over to Argentina to prepare for the NBA, because he was too young to enter the draft yet, but apparently too good to go to college…Come back and play in the league, making some ridiculous amount of money without having actually proved himself? Where’s Jordan going to take the Bobcats, now that he is the 1st exNBA player to be a majority owner of a franchise? PS – UConn will obviously win the Women’s National Title…If I get that one wrong, I am not submitting any brackets ever again…Charlie Davies is back training…USA Soccer people, prepare yourselves for something incredible… I’ll Holla, MEOWWWWWT

Mountain MaMa’s Crepe & Goodies is BaCk! ALL BReAKFAST - Just $5 Open at 7:00AM

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Dear Friends, Mama has opened up shop in our new convenient downtown location at the Space Station on 7th & Lincoln! Stop in for breakfast, lunch or a delicious afternoon snack! Come Stop By & Check out Mama’s Menu!

MaMa’s MorninG, MaMa’s savory & don’t ForGet MaMa’s sweets!

• To Steamboat Veterinary Hospital for helping me in my time of need - from “stash” the cat. • To Ski Town Lions Club for two $100 Penguin Plunge donations! Those guys are great!

• P  eople in your office building that eat your food out of the shared fridge. Hope MY food gives you dysentery! • T  o the snowmobilers who continue to go into Hogan Park and other non-motorized areas. What part of respect, cooperation, and the law do you still not get? • Th  e group of young adults who were drinking shot sized servings of Wild Turkey American Honey on the 16th and just leaving their empty bottles on the side of the run by the benches and throwing them out the gondie window. If you can pack it in full, you can pack it out empty. You know who you are and you should be ashamed. You give being young a bad name. • Waitresses that add a bonus tip to my debit card... even though I left a cash tip of over 20%!

• O  verheard in the library: “I don’t think I’m stoned, but I sure am hungry!” • O  verheard at the hostess stand: “So, if I’m calling a number in Steamboat from my cell phone, do I use your area code, or my Iowa area code? Area codes really confuse me.” • T  eacher’s really screwed us by saying, “There’s no such thing as a dumb question.” • “ I’ve seen more camels in Steamboat in the past year than in Saudi Arabia.” • I f the plural of ‘attorney general’ is ‘attorneys general,’ then is the plural of toothbrush, ‘teethbrush?’ • I used to salivate at the sight of trees, now I loathe them. • Overheard on the bike path- “I’m not against growth; I’m against the Yampa valley’s quality of life.” -

• You Might be a Local If... • •Y  ou’ve ever caught a hummingbird by trapping its little feat when it landed on your finger to drink out of the feeder. • You’ve sunbathed in 40 degree weather

Props, Gripes, Smidgens & You Might be a Local if... Are submitted by the community Send submission to: info@thesteamboatlocal.com

I don’t know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with “wolf pack” tattooed on my knuckles.- textsfromlastnight.com




The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

50 Irrelevant Facts 1. Walter Cavanaugh, “Mr. Plastic Fantastic,” has 1,196 different valid credit cards.

13. How can you tell when a gorilla is angry? It sticks its tongue out.

2. The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age. Its name was Fred.

14. According to one poll, nearly 3/4 of all American women wear a bra that is the wrong size.

3. In 1987, a 1,400-year-old lump of still-edible cheese was unearthed in Ireland. 4. There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo. 5. In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers. 6. Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI. 7. If an orangutan belches at you, watch out. He’s warning you to stay out of his territory. 8. Einstein couldn’t speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded. 9. In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles. 10. About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they’re still sitting on it. 11. In 1984, a New Jersey man opened a summer camp for Cabbage Patch dolls. 12.You’re more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day that in any other weather.

15. In 1976, a Los Angeles secretary formally married her 50-pound pet rock. 16. The first sperm banks opened in 1964; they were located in Tokyo and Iowa City.

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

24. About 96% of all American children can recognize Ronald McDonald.

36. % of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.

25. An average person laughs about 15 times a day.

37. When he’s feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female’s nose with his teeth.

26. Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

38. In 1681, the last dodo bird died.

27. Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air. 28. The average human has seven sex fantasies in a day.

The Local • Steamboat Springs This column is dedicated to the memory of those who have succeeded in taking their own lives, to those who have considered or attempted to do so, and especially to those who feel the loss of their loved one. Is there anything worse than to not want to go on living? Seeing no end to unbearable pain, unable to imagine joy, peace or simply absence of anguish, the suicide victim is desperately isolated. Last week another friend succeeded in suicide. His pain is gone and his friends and family are grieving, each one wondering how he or she could have possibly made a difference. The survivors now suffer their own pain, some blaming themselves, perhaps believing they contributed to his desire to die, others blaming themselves for not realizing he was in such agony. When someone takes his own life, it is not the fault of friends and family. If the suicide victim was an adult, you did not cause the pain or his inability to resolve it. Neither could you cure the pain, even if he allowed you to know how hopeless he was feeling. Do not blame yourself. My grade school friend, Sange, killed



40. The Neanderthal’s brain was bigger than yours is. 41. An Indian woman can legally wed a goat.

29. The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million.

42. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.

30. The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.

43. The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.

18. Cold showers actually increase sexual arousal.

31. A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m.p.h.

44. Howdy Doody had 48 freckles.

19. ,200 college students streaked at the same time in Boulder, CO in 1974.

32. The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1,500s.

20. In 1977, a 13-year-old boy discovered a tooth growing on his left foot.

33. The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2,000 B.C.

17. In 1980, the Yellow Pages accidentally listed a Texas funeral home under frozen foods.

21. In 1983, a Japanese artist made a copy of the Mona Lisa completely out of toast 22. In the early ‘80s, a toad was discovered that meows instead of croaking. 23. In 1984, a Canadian farmer began renting ad space on his cows.

34. Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph. 35. America’s first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.

herself twenty years ago, escaping a destructive marriage and leaving two small children. Living in another country, she did not have access to the type of therapy and hospitalization we have, and as far as I know, she turned to nobody

for spiritual guidance. Only some of the factors that caused Sange the intense, searing hurt which precipitated her death are apparent. Was it the unresolved chaos of her painful childhood that surfaced with the birth of her own children? Was her husband a repeat of her verbally abusive father? Both of these are likely. Some years ago, when my physician friend J. A. killed himself, his adult son and daughter

45. What color was Christopher Columbus’s hair? Blonde. 46. In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones - Bhutan. 47. The most extras ever used in a movie was 300,000, for the film Gandhi in 1981. 48. Every person has a unique tongue print. 49.Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does. 50. Women’s hearts beat faster than men’s.

Suicide

dr. dawns rx: Dr. DawnObrecht

39. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee.

spoke at the funeral, saying wonderful things about their father. The son interpreted his father’s death as a courageous end to a brave life. He acknowledged the nearly constant emotional and spiritual pain his father had felt for as long as anyone could remember. J.A. had been severely emotionally abused by an alcoholic father. As children do, he blamed himself, internalizing the message that he was just not good enough. A lifetime of excelling did not erase the words of his raging father: lazy, bad, stupid, the cause of the father’s drinking and all of the family problems, and worse. Perhaps more effective therapy might have taught J.A. to give himself new and different messages. Maybe the self hatred would fade; maybe not. The therapy he had was marginally helpful and he chose to attempt to cover the pain, first with performing, trying through athletics and professional excellence to prove his father wrong, to finally be good enough. Later he tried wealth and material goods to feel better. When all of that stopped working, he, a practicing physician and surgeon, turned to alcohol; when alcohol no longer silenced the echoes of his father’s words, he used stronger drugs. Unable to find an escape, he could no longer handle life. Courageous? I understand why his son says this. Is there another way? Maybe. There is evidence that spiritual recovery from anything is possible. There is additional evidence that

The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it’s the sombrero!- textsfromlastnight.com

miracles happen, that there is a God and that He can and does heal. Believers seek God and allow Him into their lives, giving Him a chance to soothe their pain. Counterintuitive, distasteful and objectionable for some, easy for others, and a last resort for many, spiritual healing surpasses emotional and physical healing for those who allow. If you are open to the concept that we are more than physical and emotional beings, that there is more to life than we know now and that there may be something greater than you, consider seeking. Find others who have incorporated some spirituality into their lives. Become open to learning and even changing your mind about long held beliefs. Seek, search, explore. If you are considering suicide, tell someone and ask for help. Call a suicide prevention line, a therapist, a religious or spiritual counselor or a family member or friend. Don’t leave without trying everything! Pain can be resolved and healing can happen. The harm you do to those you leave behind is permanent. Dr. Dawn Obrecht is the only MD addiction medicine specialist on the western slope of Colorado. She is a Fellow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine and her office is in Steamboat Springs. She teaches a communication course to medical students at the University Of Colorado Health Sciences Center in Denver and can be reached through www.docdawn.com. Copyright Dawn Obrecht 2010


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

deep roots

Neo-traditional Agriculture EricaOlson Deep Roots • Steamboat Springs, CO

When people express their interest in neo-traditional agriculture—that is, going back to more traditional ways of farming, mimicking the agrarian societies of the 1800s—the main objection I hear is “what about all those diseases back then? Do you really want to go back to all that?� No, of course not. But the current model of overlaying antibiotics onto agriculture isn’t working either. You learn this in first grade: kill 99% of cockroaches, and the ones left breed stronger, heartier cockroaches. It’s the same with bacteria, pesticides, herbicides, and the like. Our current agricultural model, with feedlots, poultry farms, and monoculture crops, is setting us up for failure. A blend of heritage and science is needed. A hundred years ago, urbanization increased with the advent of the Industrial Revolution, but we didn’t have the infrastructure to support it—no refrigeration, indoor plumbing, or stainless steel. As a general rule, infrastructure lags behind innovation by an average of twenty years. Every paradigm eventually exceeds its level of sustainable efficiency. We are now at a

similar edge of cultural change, firmly ensconced in the Information Age, but our fear of ancient pathogenicity holds us hostage. Instead of the same answers to the same questions that have beleaguered us for a century, we need new answers. In 1910, newspapers predicted the fall of the American city due to the overwhelming problem of what to do with the amounts of horse manure from carriages. The same old solutions were no longer adequate. The advent of the automobile, however, pressed the metaphorical reset button, and manure no longer became an issue (of course, cars brought along their own problems to solve). Traditional solutions for a traditional problem was not the answer; innovation was. Adding antibiotics on top of antibiotics to treat disease and illness is not the solution. We cannot keep adding band-aids as solutions; we must address the problem at its source. The problems that we currently have are largely a result of over-manipulated husbandry—overcrowding leading to high stress and disease; unnatural diets in which animals are fed things they never would eat in nature; monospecies crops vulnerable to attack from a single pest or disease. Re-adaptation is needed. Factory farms are not the only beneficiaries of creative technology; inventions such as electric fencing and microchips allow us to utilize more eco-friendly techniques in modern farming. So how do we break through our current paradigm? Follow us in the next issue of The Local to read Part II: Germs and Legislature.

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The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

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The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

captain carburetor

A Real Saab Story

CharlieHolthausen The Local • Steamboat Springs

Just this week I received a very interesting email from a car mechanic in Oregon. She has been pulling her hair out on this problem for 3 days. The letter that follows covers all the main

points and the symptoms she is experiencing. Dear Captain Carburetor, my name is Amy and I have read about your Shop Talk column from the internet. I have never been to Colorado but hope to someday. I have a repair related problem from where I work as a car mechanic here in Oregon. I am working on a 2000 Saab 9-3, this is what I know so far. Sometimes everything functions properly, and then suddenly while on a test drive the speedometer drops to zero, the ABS light goes on and the traction light goes on. Driving the vehicle (5-spd trans) with a Snap-On Computer Scanner on live data the vehicle speed also reads 0. I suspect the VSS (Vehicle Speed Sensor) is the problem, but that’s only a S.W.A.G. decision, (Sophisticated-Wild-Ass-Guess) The books we have are no help. Thanks in advance

for any and all help. Dear Amy, Your idea about the VSS is a good one; if your shop has a Vantage Digital Scope you can hook into the output wires on the sensor and “see� the waveform display. Look for any irregularities or “glitches� in the pattern; also check to see if the pattern drops to zero-volts for a split second. Try warming the VSS with a hair dryer while it’s hooked up to the scope and watch for a change in output. Another place to look is the Bosch ABS Module. These units are well known for intermittent problems like you are seeing. Check the harness connections for bent or pushed-out pins. Last I heard this Module is not rebuildable, so your other options include a new module (bring your wallet) or used parts. Talk with your customer and go over the options with them. Keeping the car owner “in the loop� will improve relations and avoid any surprises in the end. Thanks for writing, please email and send the final solution.

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.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate.- textsfromlastnight.com

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The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

Jefferson/Jackson Potluck Fundraiser Congressman John Salazar will be the keynote speaker at the annual JeffersonJackson Dinner on Saturday March 27 at the Steamboat Springs Community Center. The annual fundraising event is open to everyone and is hosted by the Routt County Democratic Party. Sign-in starts and the bar opens at 5:30; dinner is at 6:00 pm. This is a Potluck dinner, please bring a dish to share. Admission costs are: Adults - $25 plus a potluck dish College students $15 (not required to bring a dish). Under age 18 free. Events for the evening include: - Door prizes for all attendees courtesy of Jim Steinberg Photography, Portfolio Publications, Inc. - Recognition for our Volunteer of the Year (the winner will be announced at the event). - Introduction of candidates for Routt County offices Diane Mitsch Bush - Commissioner Gary Wall - Sheriff Darrel Levingston - Coroner - LIVE Auction with County Commissioner Doug Monger as auctioneer. Among the prizes being auctioned this year is a stunning framed print by photographer Rod Hanna; Bronco Tickets Package including dinner and hotel in Denver and prime seats for a Broncos game; beautiful necklace hand-made by local artist Cate Potyen; and a Circle-the-Zirkels airplane ride. Congressman John Salazar represents the 3rd Congressional District, the largest district in Colorado, covering the south and western portion of the state. A veteran and lifelong farmer, John Salazar has put his natural understanding of rural values to work as rural Colorado’s voice in Congress. Congressman Salazar was first elected to the U.S. Congress in 2004, and has been re-elected with convincing victories in 2006 and 2008. During his first two terms in Congress, Congressman Salazar served on the House Committees on Agriculture, Transportation and Infrastructure, and Veterans Affairs.

In his role as a member of the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee, Congressman Salazar brought millions of dollars of funding for our state’s highways, roads and bridges; improvements that are critical for safety and for economic development in rural communities. His efforts to restore fiscal responsibility to our nation’s budget have been recognized by the Conservative Blue Dog Coalition with its “Spirit of Freedom” award. He is a strong supporter of farmers and our rural lifestyle, and is an advocate for our 2nd Amendment rights. At the beginning of the 111th Congress, Congressman Salazar was named to the powerful House Appropriations Committee. In this new role, he will not only be able continue his work on behalf of our farmers and veterans, but he will also be addressing critical issues such as energy, health care, jobs and the economy. After determining that it is indeed fiscally sound, Salazar voted for the large health care reform bill passed by Congress this week. If signed into law, this bill will bring the following benefits to citizens in this congressional district: - Extend coverage to 105,500 uninsured residents. - Guarantee that 18,600 residents with pre-existing conditions can obtain coverage. - Provide new funding for 35 community health centers. The Salazar office released this quote on March 21: “In my district, and in all of Rural America, finding a doctor who will take Medicare patients is becoming harder and harder. This bill will give all primary doctors in rural America a 10 percent increase in reimbursement to take Medicare patients. Under this bill, any American who has insurance will be able to keep their doctor and their plan. Any American who doesn’t have insurance will be able to get insurance.” For more information contact: Jack Dysart, Vice Chair, Routt County Democratic Party. 870-3362; C 846-4547... SEE AD BELOW

Jefferson/Jackson Potluck Dinner Fundraiser SaturDay, March 27 - 6:00 PM at the Steamboat Springs community center

SPecial gueSt SPeaker congreSSMan John Salazar Bring your best potluck dish! Bar opens at 5:30; dinner at 6:00 Donation: $25 per adult; $15 per college student; under 18 free For more information call 870-3362.

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nacho neighbor

Cosmic Debris Nachoneighbor The Local • Steamboat Springs The mystery man came over and said I was out of sight. He said for a nominal service charge I could reach nirvana tonight—Zappa Ah yes nirvana, the

elusive, obtrusive, exclusive place we all want to gather and frolic in the euphoric bubbles. We all have our predisposed methods to try to get there. Some by ounces of Jaeger, some by miles of running, some by splif, by spif, some by banter, horses by canter. Nirvana is not reachable by plane, even if accompanied by Jane. It can be in the rain, not usually reached while in pain. (well, there is that demerol thing). It can be reached alone, just ask the dog with his bone. It can be reached on the phone, but do it when you’re alone. (refer to the dog with his bone...lol) It can be on the slopes but not for the mopes. It seems to some who maybe ho- hum that it’s reached by tons of dope. Nope,Nope,Nope. There’s a fungus among us and still not there, can it be caught like a breathe of fresh air? When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. Does that mean that you are in the know? Jerry may have known, but the coop he’s flown. Get a life! Reality should not be a strife. Grab it with both hands but don’t choke it with demands. It is not you slave, but it prefers the brave. Ah, to behave? Some say it is cooked, some say in a book. Some say it’s in wine, some say bbq’d swine. Racers say it’s in horsepower, base jumpers on a tower. Boxers in a knockdown, Oakland Raiders with a touchdown. (It happens so rare) Winners in a checkered flag, hunters who bag a red stag. Doctors in a perfect stitch, trophy wives who can’t bitch. Boys and their new toys, high end stereos and their there beautiful noise.

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jaeger bomb #4.- textsfromlastnight.com

Grandmothers who quilt, lawyers with no guilt. A dentist and his drill, with hopes of a paid bill. A sheriff with many votes, commissioners and there secret notes. A ring or a fling? Hotel no-tell are they just the same? Whiskey or gin and the chessire grin. Satire or sin who gets the win? The dog looked at the man and said it’s easy to see, the crux of the bisquit is the apostrophe.--FZ For me indeed it is easy to see, the crux of the bisquit is my family. Whether by school or by pool, or when I act the fool. I know at first sight that my girl makes it right. For whenever I’m off, she doesn’t scoff. So in the end, be true to your friends. Frank may have not gotten so mushy, but he gave us a place to start, so when the sheets are overhead make sure to............breathe! Spring is here bitches, party time. Last one to river brings the beer. Just remember....... Respect the Yampa!

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The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

Ask a mexican

A NiĂąo Named Sue? GustavoArellano

OC Weekly • Los Angeles, CA Dear Mexican: By now, I’m sure you’re aware of all the hate crimes against Hispanics in the past few years. By now, I’m sure you’re thinking that this is ÂĄAsk a Mexican!, not ÂĄAsk a Hispanic! But let me tell you that all the hate crimes against Hispanics have been because they’ve been thought to be Mexican, and at least half—if not more—of those hate-crime victims have actually been Mexican. So, my question to you is: Can’t you pathetic losers defend yourselves? Not only do these white guys take your women, but they also kick the crap out of you all over America. Take the Luis Ramirez incident from Shenandoah, Pennsylvania: The racist pigs who fucked his ass up and killed him were found not guilty by an all-white jury. Why the hell didn’t the Mexicans of Shenandoah come together and riot? That little tiny hick town would have been burned to the ground in a matter of hours. I mean, I can see why they hate you people so much. You disgusting things come here illegally; you don’t bother to learn English and expect everybody else to learn Spanish. You guys like to use somebody else’s Social Security number to work. I can go on all day with the shit you people do. Basically, you people like to milk the cow that is America, but you do not feed it. It seems you all are taking over the whole damn country! Yet it doesn’t give these racist cockroach motherfuckers the right to come after you. Which brings me to my previous question: Why can’t you spineless wetbacks strike back? - Embarrassed to be Latino Dear Wab: Nice to know Latinos can be as stupidly aggressive as the San Diego Minutemen! To quote ranchera icon Vicente Fernandez, “La migra a mi agarrĂł/Trescientas veces, digamos/ Pero jamas me domĂł/A mi me hizo los mandados/Los golpes que a mi me dĂ­o/Se los cobrĂŠ a sus paisanos.â€? Translation for the gabachos and you, coĂąo: Better to beat bozos with punitive damages instead of putazos—the former hurt more!

Dear Mexican: I hear so many gringos saying that Mexican men are stinky and greasy! Well, I know from experience this is so not true! So what’s up with the misconception? I never met a greasy, stinky Mexican! And my mexicano novio is always very clean, never greasy and smells great! I am a gringa myself, so what’s wrong with my people? Why do they think this way about mexicanos? - La Gringita Bonita Dulcita Dear Pretty, Sweet Gabacha: The Mexican turns this question over to his Mexican, Dr. William Nericcio of San Diego State University, author of the scurrilous Tex(t)-Mex: Seductive Hallucinations of the ‘Mexican’ in America: “Tales of ethnicities and nationalities being able to sense one another litter the history books and the floors of water coolers the world over: so it is that the Japanese can ‘smell’ Americans (apparently we OD on milk products, producing an olfactory side effect that floors Kyotans, Godzilla and more); Mengele and the Nazis could out a Jew on the spot with their rulers, calipers and measurement tables; and, of course, Mexicans . . . well, we just plain stink. Or so the story goes. No doubt the shared wisdom that declares we stink derives from the same source that says we’re ‘dirty.’ Most, if not all of these tales derive from Pershing’s American Expeditionary force that invaded Northern Mexico (with General George S. Patton and President Dwight D. Eisenhower along for the ride, no less) in 1916. American fools from Maine to Poughkeepsie took their jingoistic xenophobia with them to the lands of Zapata and Villa and came away convinced that Mexicans were dirty—in this regard, they mirrored the motherland’s (England’s) view of the Spanish and joined a long tradition of loathing that characterizes the relationship between folks who speak English and those who prefer Spanish.� Translation for us proles: Smells like yet another Know Nothing myth!

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net or myspace.com/ocwab.

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The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

inebriated informant

Pill Bill Inebriated Informant

The Local • Steamboat Springs, CO

Imagine the embodiment of Grace Slick, Stevie Nicks and Janice Joplin, with the charisma of a some fire breathing Japanimation girl hurling lightning bolts of insults and party innuendo, and you have the Informant’s most recent female compatriot. The Adderall, Flexarall, Klonopin and Xanax-prescribed warrior goddess understands that when mixed with cocaine, ecstasy and alcohol these pills do not help the Informant, but instead become “crazy pills.” The Informant continuously tries to sneak a Xanax here and a Klonopin there. Japanimae girl throws insults along with shoes and other lightweight objects across the hotel room and demands the sort of respect deserved only by 19th century debutantes. She explains that the pills keep her “balanced”, and make The Informant act like a first class jackass. I neither sympathize with her balance issues nor submit to her demands for respect, and honk her boob instead. She laughs a little and then

kicks at the fleeing Informant. The dysfunction continues for another hour before the party clothes are fully adorned. The sartorially challenged Informant absorbs the insults of Stevie Nicks with the help of several barbituates and stimulants mixed at foolhardy proportions. The not so dynamic duo, adorned in the appropriate party gear, head for the Stupidity Factory, or whatever the music venue is called. Grace Slick weaves along the hotel hallway while families and retirees clutch their bibles and children closely. She crashes into each wall with the rhythmic syncopation of “white rabbit.” “Hey Grace, lock it up,” yells the Informant to the wobbling, yet beautifully bedazzled menace trailing him down the hotel hallway. She mumbles something inarticulate and then screams “You have no idea, I have a 3.89 GPA!” The informant realizes that good grades do not coincide with good morals. Not only that, but intelligence can also justify such debaucherous behavior. We arrive at our destination. “Bill” who shall remain anonymous, grabs her ass. She tells him not to. He then grabs my dick and ass. I tell him not to. The blue grass music on stage pulses with each of “Bill’s” pelvic thrusts towards innocent members of every sex on the dance floor. He is given a meter in diameter to perform his ritualistic slaughter of the art of dance. This deeply saddens the Informant because “Bill” is one of the Informant’s best friends from grade school. Small comfort that since it is “Bill’s” birthday, “Bill” at least will not remember any of this. The Molly invades our minds. The culmination of hedonistic drug mixtures manifests itself in all of us dancing like idiots and sweating like pigs. Japanimae girl has returned bouncing around like a possessed Pokemon, she deflects advances from douchy dudes and the night fades into an achronological vortex that can only be understood by someone attempting a 15 day bender.

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14

I lost my virginity in that bed. You just laid in history.- textsfromlastnight.com

-1 9-ÊUÊ-1 9-ÊUÊ-1 9-ÊUÊ-1 9-

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The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

Harlem Ambassadors vs Steamboat Allstars

Slam Dunklin!

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I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I’m terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hanger.- textsfromlastnight.com

15


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

• • • •

Beer Wine Mixers Spirits

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2851 Riverside Plaza Located inside Pisa’s

16

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I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.- textsfromlastnight.com

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The Local â&#x20AC;˘ Vol 10 issue 07 â&#x20AC;˘ march 25 - april 7, 2010

Live Music

The Localâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s #1 Choice for Cameraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Optics, Televisions, Stereo Equipment and Electronics.

Thursday, March 25 The Ragbirds

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saTurday, March 27 Holden Young Trio Friday, apriL 2 Brian Smith Band

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Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning...- textsfromlastnight.com

17


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

Red moon Chronic-le

Is Big Business Afraid of Industrial Hemp? SomeGuy Redmoon Chronic-le • Grand Junction

The Local is pleased to announce that we have partnered up with the Red Moon Chronic-le to bring you on-going coverage of medical marijuana topics in each issue of The Local. Red Moon Chronic-le is the Western Slope’s first Medical Marijuana News Journal and is based out of Grand Junction Colorado. Each issue we will reprint articles from their journal, and we also hope to introduce some local MMJ coverage as well. Please let us know what topics you would like to see covered about this growing Colorado industry.

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18

Although marijuana is far less harmful than tobacco, and it’s effects much more mild than alcohol, it is still listed as a schedule 1 narcotic (along with heroin, LSD, and cocaine) and is still an illegal drug. Simply by smoking this plant, many chronically ill patients find relief that most pre-scription drugs simply can not pro-vide, and with none of the sometimes serious side effects that accompany prescription and over the counter drugs. Tycoons fear hemp because it could out compete products in many industries. Marijuana, the psy-choactive form of hemp, is truly a medicine that has been misla-beled a drug. Not one death can be attributed to marijuana, a claim not even aspirin can make. Industrial hemp, contains almost no tetahydrocannabinol (THC). Hemp can be used to produce fuel, fabric, paper and even furniture. The cannabis plant is one of the most versa-tile plants in the world. Marijuana is not physically addictive, it has never killed anyone, and anyone who really needed it could grow it easily enough themselves. Corpora-tions are scared of the cannabis plant because of all of it’s quali-ties. They would make no profit if everyone could grow their own medicine! In 1938, Popular Mechanics called it America’s “Billion Dollar Crop,” coincidentally, this is the first time the phrase “billion dollar” was used to describe an American agricultural product. Shortly thereafter, with no concern for our revenue loss, it was made illegal.

Hemp as used for industrial pur-poses differs greatly from marijuana. Marijuana users would be greatly disappointed if faced with hemp in-stead. Offering absolutely no appeal for supposedly dangerous drug use, why is the hemp variety illegal? Even if a reasonable case against the usage of marijuana can be made, the illegal-ity of hemp remains ludicrous. Henry Ford designed his cars to run on hemp-seed oil, and even had a model built primarily from hemp. Hemp-seed is one of the most nutri-tionally complete foods with nearly all essential amino and fatty acids. Wood, does not even stand up against hemp; hemp is stronger and lighter. Either for recreational or industrial use, hemp is a bountiful natural re-source. Those making money from polluting the atmosphere and destroy-ing forests don’t want cannabis grown because they would make less money. Although the environment and people in general would benefit greatly, the ones in power would not. Money, over all else is the reason they fear hemp. Years ago, the United States required all land owning citizens to grow hemp, as well as England, Spain and many other countries. Not until bla-tant lies and propaganda campaigns did people turn against hemp and were tricked into allowing its ban. The oil companies do not want to compete with hemp. Neither do the logging companies, or the pharmaceu-tical companies. The very traits that make this plant valuable are what have made it illegal. There is no rational reason to fear cannabis, only irrational greed.

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970-819-0745 In Oak Creek next to Black Mountain Tavern.

i don’t know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...- textsfromlastnight.com

Saturday March 27 aMErIcaN BEauty with rob Eaton (dark Star Orchestra)

daVE KOchMaNN & JIM aLLard

(Rocky Moutain Grateful Dead Revue & Shakedown Street)

435 LincoLn • 879-3773

OPEN FOR DINNER! Winter hours: 12/18 - 3/31

MONDay-SatuRDay: Breakfast/Lunch: 7-3pm Dinner: 4:30pm to 9:30pm SuNDay: 7-1pm We will be serving all of our salads, soups, hot specialty items as well as desserts and coffee. Nightly specials at affordable prices!

617 Lincoln Ave • 879-2483 No Carry-out on locals specials


The Local â&#x20AC;˘ Vol 10 issue 07 â&#x20AC;˘ march 25 - april 7, 2010

another one bites the dust

Up in the Air

ElliotSilberberg The Local â&#x20AC;˘ Milan, Italy

considered Muhammad Aliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,â&#x20AC;? but that was just a nod to Sunâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s practicing acupuncture. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vital is having the feet anchored to Ma Earth. Doing Chi Kung is like being a tree: roots down here where we live, the branches and leaves, like our limbs, moving in the air. Sun Junqing talks a lot about the body and our organs. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s convinced the kidneys are primary to health. He calls sugar poison, and says sugar junkies are giving themselves small doses of it all the time. His solution to a sweet-tooth: eat apples. As for karma, he believes in it, but feels it can be re-directed by establishing a correct harmony between our bodies and the world by breathing right. I told him I thought Steamboat was so full of alternate therapies it was difficult to separate the extra-virgin from the snake oil. He said whatever the method, yoga, shiatsu, Pilates, tai chi, Feldenkrais, etc., it has to respect the power of air as energy. Sounds easy, but for this novice that means learning how to breathe all over again. Check out Sun Junqing doing Chi Kung at http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=HDTfQHidL24.

In an uphill effort to do some good for myself, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been practicing a Chinese method of breathing exercises called Chi Kung. A small group of us meets every few weeks with Richard, an American who leads us through the moves in 40 minute cycles. The method is based on recognizing air as energy and defining correct breathing as the key to good health and longevity. Not overtly strenuous, the method is arduous all the same and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m no great shakes at it. A few weeks ago, Sun Junqing, a 48 year old Chinese Chi Kung master, came to Milan to conduct a seminar. Fluid though Richard is, Sun Junqing is extraordinary. His moves flow and inspire. The discussion periods between the exercise sessions also gave philosophical depth to the event. People asked about what ails them, correct diet, karma and core questions about life itself. Sun fielded them all with seriousness, serenity and a great sense of humor. I asked about the value of ending showers with a cold spritz, having been told an icy zap closes the pores and protects. Since Sun is a big advocate of heat as energy, I was just setting myself up. (He recommends wearing two pairs of pants to stay warm in the winter and, besides lots of tea, drinks warm water and even warm beer.) Sun said my cold shower solution was like taking all your money out of the bank and spending it on the spot. Doing the exercises after these talks makes ordinary Planned Parenthood welcomes and breathing feel mighty special. encourages men to come in for services. Our Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an immensity about the affordable and confidential services for men simplest things. Exhaling and include STD testing and treatment, rapid HIV inhaling correctly and teaching testing, condoms and education about birth your body to move in harmony with that exchange all become control, reproductive health exams and more. part of thinking clearly. The feet are pretty much planted throughout. Arms are swung out sideways, up and over We accept most insurance plans. the head. Inhaling and exhaling are carefully measured with 1104 B 11th Streetâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Steamboat Springs awareness of the air exchange 970.879.2212 in the stomach. There are gentle turning and twisting moves and the feet stay put. At first I thought of airy comparisons, when you bring in this ad like being a kite, but it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like www.pprm.org (one per person). submitting to the wind. Then I

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Pasta Meals â&#x20AC;˘ seafood â&#x20AC;˘ Burgers â&#x20AC;˘ sandwiches riBs â&#x20AC;˘ steak â&#x20AC;˘ souP â&#x20AC;˘ salads Am I morally bankrupt? Reply: no. its just the recession.- textsfromlastnight.com

19


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

MainStreet Steamboat Springs

Lincoln Avenue Reconstruction – What do we get when it’s done? TracyBarnett The Local • Steamboat Springs

20

Friday- beer tasting 5-7 PM saturday- wine tasting 3-6 PM

Beer • Wine Liquor Downtown Steamboat

Fun Folks + ExcEllEnt knowlEdgE = grEat ValuEs

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Need Help Getting into a Home? $207,000 in Down Payment Loan Funds Available!

Want to help? Have an idea? Contact MainStreet at 970-846-1800 or mainstreetsteamboat@ comcast.net. Your participation would be greatly encouraged and appreciated. Next issue: Lincoln Avenue Reconstruction

870-0167 www.yvha.org 20574720

In the last article I let everyone know about the reconstruction of Lincoln Avenue beginning (weather permitting) on April 5 and anticipated to run until June 30. We all got a taste of what the construction might be like because of the work that was done last Fall. With that in mind, CDOT and Scott Contracting have been working on a better plan to communicate with the public utilizing the radio stations, the newspaper, TV18, email and Twitter. If you would like to get on the communication list for updates, send an email to jody@pattencom.com CDOT and the City have been planning coordination of two projects to take place simultaneously (what a GREAT idea – work together). CDOT will be working on the road surface while the City will be working on the bump-outs on the corners, the handicap ramps, the colored crosswalks at signalized intersections, fiber-optics installation to assist in the timing of the traffic lights for better traffic flow during peak traffic periods and installing another traffic signal at 11th Street. Why bump-outs? Currently crossing Lincoln Ave is not pedestrian friendly. At the signalized intersections, if you have noticed, pedestrians only have between 18 and 22 seconds (depending on the intersection) to get across the street. Bump-outs should help to make the intersections a bit friendlier by helping to calm traffic and making the distance between curbs less. Additionally, these bumpouts onto Lincoln will only be at signalized Convenient • Friendly intersecGreat Prices tions, Great Cigar Selection encouraging pedestrians 879-1536 to cross with the 12-12 M-F • 12-12 SAT lights. At 12-6 SUN all non1104 Lincoln Ave. signalized 11th/Lincoln intersec-

tions, the bump-outs will only go into the side streets and not out onto Lincoln. Additionally, bus stops are being moved downstream of the traffic signals so that busses can get out into traffic more easily when the light turns red. Currently, even with the yield lights on the backs of the busses, drivers will often not let busses pull back into traffic. To be able to pull into a bus stop more easily, the bump-out is eliminated so less room is required for the bus to pull in and to preserve as many parking places as possible. Also, because of the increase in bus ridership, and the desire to make waiting for the bus more pleasant, 9 new bus shelters will be installed after the construction is completed. You may have noticed that the handicapped ramps at the corners are all different. Some work better than others. Ask Routt County Commissioner Nancy Stahoviak about trying to negotiate some of the ramps in her motorized wheeled chair. She has to wear her seatbelt so that she doesn’t get pitched out because of the steepness of some of them. The new ramps will all be the same and more negotiable, thank goodness. And, hopefully, the new ramps won’t fill with water or ice the way the current ones do. Colored crosswalks are being added across Lincoln at signalized intersections to make a bigger statement to drivers to watch for pedestrians in the crosswalks. At all intersections, side streets will have colored crosswalks. And finally, the light at 11th. MainStreet has been advocating this light for years. Not only will it help the businesses in that area, but, again, it will make Lincoln Avenue more pedestrian friendly. Currently, both pedestrians and drivers take their lives in their hands to cross the street at 11th. Drivers leaving the 9th Street light speed up to try to make it through the light at 13th. No longer will drivers have to backtrack to 9th to get to a traffic signal so that they are able to turn left onto Lincoln. When the construction is finished, not only will we have a new concrete road surface that should last 30 or more years, our downtown will be more pedestrian friendly and will look more pulled together, instead of the mish-mash of installations that we are living with now. Yes, there will be some pain during the construction, but it will be GREAT when it is done.x

The Yampa Valley Housing Authority has helped nearly 300 working families secure affordable homes in the Steamboat area.

Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled “yes I started my period!” She came out of the stall and we high fived. Who am i to judge? I do that every month.- textsfromlastnight.


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

According to Astrology: March 25 - april 7

Let the Love in to our hearts LenaFranzen The Local • Steamboat Springs In the evening sky we can now see Venus in the west, Saturn in the east and Mars up high. They are a glorious sight to be seen! They are easy to spot because they are brighter than the stars, especially at dusk. March 25: Today is a dynamic day of change and creativity. What needs to change is where we haven’t been true to our soul’s calling. Here we need to slow down and take a closer look at what we are doing. What doesn’t serve our highest good need, should be let go of. (Pluto square Sun in Aries. Leo Moon trine the Sun.) March 26: On Friday our creativity is flowing easily and we are enjoying ourselves. (Moon in Leo trine Mercury and Venus.) March 27-28: Over the weekend we clean house, take care of business or our health. Good days for the outdoors too! (Moon in Virgo.) March 29: Full Moon in Libra on Monday evening. Here we have the opportunity to listen to our intuition and to open our hearts to a

new beginning in Love. We can now courageously love in a new way that is more true and honest, if we want to. First we have to let the love in to our hearts and everything will follow from there. (Neptune sextile Venus.) March 30: We are continuing learning how to open our hearts to love on Tuesday. Our love for Nature can help us here. (Chiron sextile Venus.) March 31: Venus moves out of pioneering Aries and into sensual and practical Taurus on Wednesday. Over the next four weeks we will desire stability, down to earth practicality and sensual delights. Venus in Taurus loves spring and flowers. Today our emotions are running deep since the Moon is in Scorpio. We might also

angle to Mercury.) April 3: Saturday is a dynamic day of practical creativity and passionate sparks flying. (Mars square Venus.) April 4: On Sunday we continue to feel passionate, but also practical and productive. Our minds are active and assertive today also. (Pluto trine Venus. Mars square Mercury.) April 5: On Monday we are feeling responsible and want to get back to work. (Moon In Capricorn.) April 6: We are continuing being productive in our work and projects on Tuesday. We might be feeling a bit intense since Pluto is turning retrograde. (Pluto trine Mercury.) April 7: Today Wednesday, we are passionate about our intellectual pursuits and ideas. (Moon In Aquarius trining Saturn and opposing Mars.) Lena is available for personal astrology readings. She also appreciates your comments, questions and feedback. You can contact her at lenasteed@comcast.net or 970-879-2444. www.lenahealingarts.com

Graphic Design • Logos • Websites • Brochures • Business Cards • Ads • Menus • Posters

Practical, cost-effective design solutions for your business. Jessica Leon-Guerrero • www.digigirlstudio.com • 970-819-7100

exploring the sacred

Naming God MatthiasKrier United Methodist Church How much better it might have been if we hadn’t named God. Once God was named, God was put into a box. Once God was put into a box, men tried to control what God was and was not--and used God for his own selfcentered purposes. Back in the Old Testament when God was asked about a name, God said, “I am who I am.” The Stephen Mitchell translation of Tao Te Ching in the very first chapter reads: “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The unnamable is the eternally real. Naming is the origin of all particular things.” Imagine if the leaders of the world religions were more humble in their approach acknowledging that whatever God is—God cannot be defined or fully explained. If we were more humble in our approach and open to the Mystery of God instead of using God

feel a lack of love and abundance, an opportunity to go within to find peace. Our minds are also very intuitive today. (Saturn in hard angle to Venus. Neptune sextile Mercury.) April 1: April Fools day on Thursday! And we have the opportunity to access new intelligence. We love to be outdoors today. (Chiron sextile Mercury.) April 2: Mercury the planet of our mind and thinking is moving into practical and comfort seeking Taurus on Friday. Mercury will stay in Taurus until the beginning of June, so we will enjoy springtime and think about what we need, to feel comfortable until then. Today though, we might be prone to negative thinking, but it will soon pass, especially if we can go within to find peace. (Saturn in hard

for our own ends, imagine what a different world it would be. Here is a parable from The Song of the Bird by Anthony De Mello that helps to illustrate: --The Formula-The mystic was back from the desert. “Tell us,” they said, “what God is like?”

But how could he ever tell them what he had experienced in his heart? Can God be put into words? He finally gave them a formula—so inaccurate, so inadequate—in the hope that some of them might be tempted to experience itfor themselves. They seized upon the formula. They made it a sacred text. They imposed it on others as a holy belief. They went to great pains to spread it in foreign lands. Some even gave their lives for it. The mystic was sad. It might have been better if he had said nothing. Yes, whatever God is—God is beyond us and yet within us. Can the Divine be fully explained? Not in my opinion. I close with this illustration from Anthony De Mello to further make this point: The disciples were full of questions about God. Said the Master, “God is the Unknown and the Unknowable.

Every statement about God, every answer to your questions, is a distortion of the truth.” The disciples were bewildered. “Then why do you speak about God at all?” “Why does the bird sing?” said the Master. Not because it has a statement, but because it has a song. Maybe we need a name for God, but at the very least, can we be more honest and humble regarding this Divine Mystery that by its very nature can never be fully explained. Paul served as Bishop in Steamboat for the past six years. He and his wife Wendy have four children. His training comes from studying the life and teachings of Jesus Christ and from years of service including a two-year, full time proselytizing mission. He is employed by TIC as Quality Assurance Manager.

Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender’s erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.- textsfromlastnight.com

21


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

out in the BOAT

• events • theater

• sports • entertainment

Email all listings to: Steamboatmusicman@gmail.com

25

thursday march

Danika Patrick was born today. Yampatika will host a free Uranium Mine Snowshoe Tour from 10:00am – 1:00pm. Meet at the Upper Lot at Fish Creek Falls. Please call 970-871-9151 for details and registration. Nondenominational community bible study for women. 9-11 AM @ Concordia Lutheran Church. For more information contact Martha, 871.4751. Dance & drum classes 5:30-6:30 p.m. mixed-levels djembe drum 6:30-8 p.m. mixed-levels dance @ The Depot. $15/class. Info: Jen Lowe, 846-6377 or visit the Steamboat Springs African Dance & Drum Ensemble online at www. yampavalley.info Community Cinema-Dirt. FREE, 6:30pm @ Bud Werner Memorial Library. March 25 - March 28, Live Theatre Performance: The Real Inspector Hound, 7pm at The Depot. The meditative ‘centering prayer’: United Methodist Church hosts a meditative lunch break practicing “Centering Prayer” from 12:15 to 12:45p.m. at the church at Eighth and Oak streets. Contact Pastor Matt Krier at 879-1290. Young Professionals Networking. Monthly Speaker Event with Kent Eriksen:founder of Kent Eriksen Cycles. 5:50-7:30 pm. For this event please park at Trailhead Lodge. We will be riding the new gondola up to the Alpine Club which is at One Steamboat Place. Tap House – Karaoke. Boathouse: Promo Night. Specials abound.

26

Friday MARCH

NWCP Annual Meeting and Local Products Showcase. Jayne Austin Community Agriculture Alliance. 5:00 pm, 879-4370. admin@communityagalliance.org. March 25 - March 28, Live Theatre Performance: The Real Inspector Hound, 7pm at The Depot.

27

saturday MARCH

Quentin Tarantino was born today. Skyscraper Day March 25 - March 28, Live Theatre Performance: The Real Inspector Hound, 7pm at The Depot. Yampatika will host a snowshoe tour on Emerald Mountain from 10:00am – noon. This tour is free with a $5 lift ticket. Please call 970-871-9151 for details and registration. Penguin Plunge: 12pm at Catamount Lake! Gather your friends, family, and co-workers to take the plunge in raising funds to acquire an Advanced CT Scanner for Yampa Valley Medical Center. For more information, please contact the Healthcare Foundation for the Yampa Valley: 871-2515, email: peguinplunge@yvmc.org., and become a friend of the Penguin Plunge on Facebook. Bud Light Rocks the ‘Boat’ Free Concert Series presents: Pimps of Joytime. Earth Hour: 8:30-9:30pm Steamboat city buildings, ski area buildings, restaurants, and homes will be turning out for this global awareness event.Visit www.earthhour.org to sign up. Tap house- DJs Ricky Prime and Pretty Ninja.

28

Sunday MARCH

Lady Gaga was born today.

Robert Frost was born today

IGLESIA EN ESPANOL: 7 AM @ Steamboat Christian Center.

Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalaniana`ole Day

March 25 - March 28, Live Theatre Performance: The Real Inspector

22

Hound, 7pm at The Depot.

deck.

Trivia at the Rio Grande starting at 6:30 p.m. The team with the most points takes home Rio gift cards or schwag.

Yampatika will host a Family Snowshoe Tour at Yampatika’s Environmental Learning Center from 10:00am – noon. This is a free tour for ages 5 and up. Please call 970-871-9151 for details and registration.

Knitting group from 7-8:30PM at Craft Cruises located at 2955 Village Drive #10. This group is open to the public so all are welcome. Join us to sit and knit and learn new skills for free. Call Melissa to register 367-6288. Boathouse: Bloody Sunday: $4 Bloodies and Mimosa’s.

29

monday MARCH

Lucy Lawless was born today. Integrated Community hosts a Spanish-English conversation group at 6:30 p.m. at 718 Oak St. Call 871-4599. Boathouse, Open Mike Night: Starts at 8PM. Every performer gets a free beer. Tap House- Recreational Poker League.

30

tuesday MARCH

M.C. Hammer was born today. Doctor’s Day. The Depot $15/class. Info: Steamboat African Dance & Drum Ensemble online at www.yampavalley.info. Tap House – Wing Night. Boathouse Pub- Live music and Rock, Paper, Scissors for Free Drinks Starts at 9PM.

31

wednesday MARCH

Cesar Chavez Day. Angus Young was born today. Wednesday Apres Ski Club. Join KFMU and BUDWEISER at the Bear River Ball and Grill to enjoy warm weather, cheap drinks, yummy food, and live music on the

You probably haven’t been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad- textsfromlastnight.com

Steamboat’s Recreational Poker league plays at 7 p.m. at the Snow Bowl. The tournament is free and open to the public. Players must be 18 or older.Visit www.steamboatpokertour.com. Tap House- Live Trivia. Boathouse - Irish night: $3 Guinness, $3 Black & Tans, $4 Jamesons, $5 Car Bombs.

1

thursday APRIL

National kick your neighbor in the nuts day. Steamboat Springs Community Blood Drive @ Yampa Valley Medical Center 12:30 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. To schedule an appointment please call Bonfils Appt. Center at 1-800365-0006 Ext. 2 or sign up online at www.bonfils.org using site code 0234. Please eat a full meal and drink plenty of water before donating blood. Walk-ins are welcome after 2:30 as space permits. The Steamboat Writers Group. 12-2 pm @ The Depot. Everyone is welcome for reading and critiques: beginners, published writers, fiction, non-fiction, poetry. Susan,879-8138 or Harriet,8798079, www.Steamboatwriters. com. Tap House – Karaoke. Boathouse- Promo Night. Specials abound.

2

friday APRIL

Emmylou Harris was born today. International Children’s Book Day. Carol Jean - An Artist’s Journal, 5

to 8pm at The Depot. Don’t miss E this last chance to see a wonderful exhibit!

3

saturday APRIL

C S

Eddy Murphy was born today.

T

National Tartan Day.

B R D

Polymer Clay Jewelry Class for Adults & Teens at the Steamboat Arts and Crafts Gym 1 - 4pm: 970-870-0384

Community Classes for Mind Body J Awareness. 10-11:15 am. Steamboat Dance Theatre teaches Warm W Up Like A Dancer. K Jennie Lay. Bud Werner MemoT rial Library. 970-879-0240. jlay@ w steamboatlibrary.org. y d Tap house- DJs Ricky Prime and Pretty Ninja. A — sunday 4 6 A APRIL i Craig T. Nelson was born today. f a i World Health Day 1 Easter

T

IGLESIA EN ESPANOL 7 AM @ Steamboat Christian Center. Trivia at the Rio Grande starting at 6:30 p.m. The team with the most points takes home Rio gift cards or schwag. Boathouse Pub – Bloody Sunday $4 Bloody Marys, $4 Mimosas.

5

monday APRIL

Gregory Peck was born today Boathouse, Open Mike Night: Starts at 8PM every performer gets a free beer.

B n $

U

C S S

W S b c w m a F 8 b

Tap House- Live Poker TOURNIE. Free entry, play for points and F prizes. E C tuesday 6 a APRIL t Merle Haggard was born today a f


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

out in the BOAT

• events • theater

• sports • entertainment

Email all listings to: Steamboatmusicman@gmail.com Karen Schulman at 970-879-2244. SAVE THE DATE 27th Annual Cabaret Comedy Production, May 6 - 8 at the Strings Music Pavilion! Tickets now on sale!

Tap House – Wing Night.

YOGA center of steamboat

www.yogacenterofsteamboat.com. 970-870-1522 Monday, April 19 - 23 SPRING BREAK SPECIAL All regular classes ONLY $9, (cash or check). ASHTANGA WORKSHOP. Intermediate yoga to build physical and mental strength. Sun., April 25, 10a - 12pm Alex Pallut: 510-882-7126

Boathouse Pub- Live music and Rock, Paper, Scissors for Free Drinks Starts at 9PM.

7

wednesday APRIL

Jackie Chan was born today.

on-going

Wednesday Apres Ski Club. Join KFMU and BUDWEISER at the Tugboat Bar and Grill to enjoy warm weather, cheap drinks, yummy food, and live music on the deck.

Basic Mat Pilates: Mondays & Wednesdays 11:15am-12:15pm This class provides an introduction to the underlying principles of Pilates movement. Find safety, fun, strength, flexibility & awareness in a beautiful setting over looking the Yampa River.

Advanced pottery wheel class — Steamboat Arts & Crafts Gym, 6 to 9 p.m. Ceramic artist Julie Anderson leads a six-week course in advanced pottery making. Cost for the course is $250; materials are $60. Call 870-0384 for more information or to register. 1280 13th St.

Intermediate Mat Pilates : Monday & Wednesdays 12:30-1:30pm. NEW - now offered twice a week! Ongoing classes at the Yoga Center of Steamboat 701 Yampa St. in Steamboat (12 person maximum). Drop-ins & punch card welcome. Pamela Turner, MSPT: 819-3570 or psst1000@yahoo.com

Tap House- Live Trivia. Boathouse- Irish night: $3 Guinness, $3 Black & Tans, $4 Jamesons, $5 Car Bombs.

Country Dance: Thurs 7:30-9:00 Starts April 8th. Oak St. Dance Studio. $135 per couple. 846-4217.

Beginning/Intermediate Modern Dance for Adults! Wednesdays through May 26 (no class April 21) 5:15 - 6:15pm @ Oak Street Dance Studio, 326 Oak Street. For more info and to register: call Wendy @ 846-4450 or 736-1005. www.oakstdance.com

Winter Exhibit - Ken Carlson Showing through April 10: Steamboat Art Museum. Ken Carlson is considered to be the best living wildlife artist today. His work is in many public and private collections as well as in several museums. For more information please call 870-1755 or email sam@steamboatartmuseum.com

Hip Hop Dance Classes! Classes run March 15th-May 4th Beginning for Teen-Adult, Mondays 7:15-8:15pm at Oak St. Dance Intermediate for Teen-Adult Mondays 8:15-9:15pm at Oak St. Dance $15 drop in / $100 for 8 weeks Email: tiananeve1@aol.com for more info or visit www.steamboatdancetheatre.org

Focus Adventures The Spirit of Ecuador - International Photo & Cultural Tour. Saturday April 10 - Monday April 19:Spaces are still available for this once in a life time International Photo Tour to a land of endless discovery! www. focusadventures.com or contact

Children’s Danceworks Spring Session runs through May 28th. Classes offered include Hip Hop for ages 6 - 12, Pre-ballet, Creative Ballet and Creative Dance for ages 3 - 6. Parent/Toddler classes too! Modern Jazz for Pre-Teens/Teens starts after Spring Break! Boys

Up & Coming

Only Workshop for ages 8 - 12 with guest teachers in Hoop Tricks, African Drumming, Hip Hop, Juggling, & Fitness and Agility --- some drop-in available. To view complete schedule: www.oakstdance. com. All classes held at Oak Street Dance Studio, 326 Oak St. To register or for more info: call Wendy @ 846-4450 or 736-1005 ZUMBA Classes- Mondays at 5:156:15 pm Steamboat Pilates Yoga and Fitness. Tuesdays at 8:30-9:30 am Oak Street Dance Studio. Thursdays at 8:30-9:30 am Oak Street Dance Studio. Thursdays at 5:30-6:30 pm at Old Town Hot Springs. Hot springs class is $10 for members and $15 for non members. Fridays at 1pm-2pm at Steamboat Pilates Yoga and Fitness 970.390.1150 for more info. $10/class. The Steamboat Writers Group meets every THURS at the Depot from 12:00 to 2:00. Everyone is welcome for reading and critiques: beginners, published writers,; fiction, non-fiction, poetry. Susan,879-8138 or Harriet,879-8079, www.Steamboatwriters.com No charge, sponsored by Steamboat Springs Arts Council. Life Drawing Class from 9-Noon Every 2nd and 4th Friday (each month) at The Artists’ Gallery of Steamboat, 1009 Lincoln Av. Drawing from the human form from live studio model. Class Fee: $12. Critique and Instruction upon request. Tables, light, & model provided, BYO supplies. RSVP to inquiry@steamboatgallery.com Tuesdays-VNA offers drop in clinic 12-4 PM FREE to uninsured, low income adults needing vaccination against hepatitis, HPV, tetanus, measles, chicken pox, shingles, pneumonia and influenza. Any adult with risk factors may qualify for hepatitis vaccination at $0-$14/ shot. Come to 940 Central Park Dr, Suite 101 or call 879-1632 Thursdays-VNA offers drop in clinic 2-4 PM for adolescents ages11-18 years, for any recommended vaccine at $0-$14/shot. Come to 940 Central Park Dr, Suite 101 or call 879-1632. Parents must be present for children under 18 years and should bring

vaccine records. WOMEN’S EVENING CLIMBING with Jen Lowe. Every Wednesday 5:15-8:15pm $20 cash/check only. Practice climbing and belaying under the supervision of a guide in these evening clinics. Women only. Prereq: belaying experience. Sign up by noon Tuesday before. www. steamboatclimbing.com, 970-8708440 VFW POOL LEAGUE: Leagues 3 nights a week there - both 8 and 9 Ball formats for anyone interested. Contact Michelle for more information, yvapa@msn.com. Open Table Tennis (Ping Pong) is on Thursday evenings from 7-9 in the upstairs gym of the Old Junior High School. Yampatika will host a snowshoe tour on Emerald Mountain on Saturdays from 10:00am- noon. This tour is free with a $5 lift ticket. Please call 970-871-9151 for details and registration. Water Polo 5:30 -6:30pm. OTHS Coach Amy Charity will be teaching skills, drills, strategy and game play. Age=>16 yrs. And up. Cost: $5/members, $10/non-members. Open Volleyball @ Middle School Every Monday night starting at 7:30, $4. Tarot Card readings held every Wednesday at Off the Beaten Path, 68 9th Street. Tricks & Tips - Knitting group every Sunday from 7-8:30PM at Craft Cruises located at 2955 Village Drive #10. This group is open to the public so all are welcome. Join us to sit and knit and learn new skills for free. Call Melissa to register 367-6288. Weekly job search and networking group meets every Monday at the Steaming Bean Coffee Shop from 4:30- 6pm Free drop-in basketball games every Monday night at CMC. 8:30PM. Call 870-4479 information.

SPRING INTO

YOGA Pilates, Qigong & Tai Chi

No membership dues. JUST GREAT CLASSES!

970.870.1522

yogacenterof steamboat.com

20580621

Expressions of the Spirit - Fishcreek at Sundance Plaza, noon to 2 p.m.Susan de Wardt leads a weekly journaling workshop. Cost is $25. Call 846-6562. 465 Anglers Drive, Suite 2C.

7 0 1 Ya m p a S t . O v e r l o o k i n g t h e Ya m p a R i v e r a n d E m e r a l d M o u n t a i n

701 YAMPA ST., Bear River Center.

970-870-1522

yogacenterofsteamboat.com (Good thru April) Mondays: • Hatha Vinyasa Yoga, all levels: 8:30-9:45a.m. • Basic Mat Pilates: 11:15a-12:15pm • Intermediate Polestar Pilates: 12:30-1:30pm • Yoga for All Men: 2:00-3:00pm • Yoga for 50+: 3:30 - 4:30pm • Evening Yoga, all levels: 5;30-6:45pm Tuesdays: • Morning Yoga, all levels: 9:30-10:30am • Core Power Hour, Int.Yoga:12:00-1:00pm • Qigong & Tai Chi for Ageless Health & Vitality: 2:00-3:00pm • Beginning/Gentle Yoga: 5:15-6:15pm • Pregnancy Yoga: 6:30-7:45pm Wednesdays: • Morning Yoga, all levels: 8:30-9:45am • Basic Mat Pilates: 11:15-12:15pm • Intermediate Polestar Pilates: 12:30-1:30pm • Baby Massage Class: 2:00-3:00pm • Deepak Chopra’s 7 Spiritual Laws of Yoga, all levels: 5:30-6:45pm (through March 31) • Ashtanga Yoga: April 7th only. 5:30 - 6:45pm • Yoga for Equestrians: 5:30 - 6:45pm. April 14 -28. Thursdays: • Rise & Shine Yoga, Intermidiate: 7:00-8:00am • Morning Yoga, all levels: 9:30-10:30am • Core Power Hour, Int.Yoga: 12:00-1:00pm • Pregnancy Yoga: 4:00-5:15pm • Intermediate Yoga Practice: 5:30-6:45pm Fridays: • Qigong & Tai Chi for Health: 8:00-9:00am • Intermediate Hatha Vinyasa: 9:30-10:45am • Jivamukti Yoga, Adv/Int. :5:30-7:00pm. (Hot Yoga, Friday, March 26) Saturdays: • Morning Yoga, all levels, variety of styles. 8:00-9:30am Sundays: • Afternoon Yoga, all levels, variety of styles. 4:30-6:00pm

How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?- textsfromlastnight.com

23


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

Thurs mar. 25

Venue Tugboat Tap House

Karaoke

Gondola Pub & Grill

Trevor Potter

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

Night Life

Fri mar. 26

Sat mar. 27

Sun mar. 28

Mon mar. 29

Tues mar. 30

wed mar. 31

Wendy Woo

Wendy Woo

DJ Also Starring dance tracks

Pretty Ninja & Ricky Prime

Poker Night

Wing Night

Live Trivia

Sam Ayer

David Harlan

Trevor Potter

Sam Ayer

David Harlan

Old Town Pub

Holden Young Trio

Mahogany Ridge

Pat Waters

American Beauty

Bud Light Rocks The Boat

Pimps of Joytime

Thurs apr. 1

Venue Tugboat Tap House

Karaoke

Gondola Pub & Grill

Trevor Potter

Old Town Pub

Fri apr. 2

Sat apr. 3

Sun apr. 4

Mon apr. 5

Tues apr. 6

wed apr. 7

Henhouse Healers

Henhouse Healers

DJ Also Starring dance tracks

Pretty Ninja & Ricky Prime

Poker Night

Wing Night

Live Trivia

Sam Ayer

David Harlan

Trevor Potter

Sam Ayer

David Harlan

Brian Smith Band

Mahogany Ridge Bud Light Rocks The Boat

The Dirty Heads

happyhourspecials Potters Wheel- BYOB happy hour Friday’s 5pm-8pm. Snacks provided. Cheaper than therapy and just as effective! Big House Burgers and Bottle Cap Bar- 4:20 to 6 p.m. daily. $1 off bottled beers; half-price appetizers The Boathouse Pub- 609 Yampa St. 3 to 6 p.m. Awesome daily specials. Check them out! The Epicurean- 3 to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday get a glass of wine for half price with the purchase of an appetizer Mahogany Ridge Brewery & Grill 4-5:30 Everyday. 1/2 price drinks, $ Tapas. 9-11 Sun-Thurs. $2 Pints, 1/2 Price apps. Mazzola’s Italian Diner- 5 to 6 p.m. daily. $1 off all drinks, halfprice pizzas and appetizers at the bar Panda Asian Cuisine: 3-6PM Daily. Half off selected drinks and appetizers.

655 Marketplace Plaza - Steamboat Riggio’s -1106 Lincoln Ave. 5 to 6 p.m. daily. $2 Stella and Newcastle drafts, 1/2 price martinis and selected specialty drinks, 1/2 price appetizers Rio Grande Mexican Restaurant- 4-6 daily - Bario Menu: Drinks- $1 off Margs, Draft Beer and Cuervo Gold & Silver shots. Food- $4 Mini Queso Deluxe. $4 Botano Taco (steak, grilled or smoked chicken, mahi mahi) $4 Side Salad. $5 Mini Nacho (steak, chix or cheese). $5 Mini Quesadilla (steak, grilled or smoked chicken, veggie). $5 Flautitas. $5 Bowl of Soup (homemade green chile or tortilla soup) The Tap House Sports Grill- 3 to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday. $1 off all draft beer pints, $2 off all draft beer pitchers. $2-Drafts and Well drinks from 9-11 seven days a week The Tugboat- 3-6 pm. $1 drafts & selected half price appetizers Old Town Pub- 4-6 M-F: Dollar off drafts, house wine and well liquor. Sunday $ Bud & Bud Lite Drafts all day.

Rex’s American Grill & Bar - 3190 S. Lincoln Ave. (next to Holiday Inn) 4:20 to 6 p.m. daily. $1 off all drinks and 1/2 price apps.

24

Wildhorse Stadium Cinemas

I’m watching someone hooking up in the library! Reply: procrastination at its finest.- textsfromlastnight.com

970-870-8222 FRIDAY, MARCH 26 THURSDAY, APRIL 1 (No passes or coupons allowed on this film at this time. (HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON (PG)

Fri & Mon – Thurs: 4:30 7:20 Sat & Sun: 1:45 4:30 7:20 DIARY OF A WIMPY KID (PG) Fri, Mon – Thurs: 4:40 7:10 Sat & Sun: 2:00 4:40 7:10 ALICE IN WONDERLAND (PG) Fri, Mon – Thurs: 5:00 7:30 Sat & Sun: 2:10 5:00 7:30 THE GHOST WRITER (PG 13) Fri, Mon – Thurs: 5:10 8:00 Sat & Sun: 2:20 5:10 8:00 GREEN ZONE (R) Fri, Mon – Thurs: 5:20 8:00 Sat & Sun: 2:30 5:20 8:00 CRAZY HEART (R) Fri, Mon – Thurs: 7:45 Sat & Sun: 2:00 7:45 SHUTTER ISLAND (R) Fri, Mon – Thurs: 4:50 Sat & Sun: 4:50


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

A bOATlOAD OF ENTERTAINMENT Band spotlight

Band spotlight

Holden young trio March 27th at

The Brian Smith Band

Old Town Pub

The Holden Young Trio of Boulder, Colorado is redefining the experience and the sound of the power-trio. “With just guitar, bass and drums there is a certain flexibility that allows us to change songs on the fly every night and for each of our instruments to shine throughout the tunes,” says Holden of the reason for the trio setup. And it seems to be working.... Since beginning the Holden Young Trio project in 2006 in Colorado, Holden has performed with the Disco Biscuits, JJ Grey & Mofro, the Motet, Outformation, Chris Littlefield (Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe), and such local/regional acts such as Yamn, Hot Soup, DVS, Juno What?!, Full Belly, Moo-Got 2, Equaleyes, and more. Their unique blend of funk, rock and a hint of world music has them playing to audiences of all ages from the song world to the jam scene. Referring to Fela Kuti, Thievery Corporation, and the Chili Peppers in the same sentence Holden tries to explain their sound with words, “Funky. No. Scratch that. Really funky.”

April 2 at

Old Town Pub It’s a classic case of the blues, and don’t forget rock, man. Men, in the midst of working and teaching and having relationships, naturally would have the need to sing the blues. And so it is with the Brian Smith Band, nee Warpig and the Bong Water Blues Band, a.k.a. The Brian Smith Project. This group was born under a bad sign in that the front man, J.P.L. was in a wheelchair at the time from a bad wreck. His friends had mercy on him and brought him into their home for jam sessions that turned into practices that turned into rehearsals that turned into gigs...They practice in the old embalming room, at the old coroners’ abode as the story goes and who can forget the colorful, to say the least, harp player, Warpig. His unabashed enthusiasm for the moment adds quite the flavor to the off beat rock and blues tunes that are the cornerstone of the bands’ set list. Thanks to the old punk influences of the rhythm guitarist, Hermo, the band never forgets the forces of the Clash era. Mick, a real Stone’s rock and roll man, loves to punch out the beat down in the dungeon. And so that is the Brian Smith Band, oh, not to mention the newest member, Brian Smith the bassist. Of course, the band loves to bring in the magical guitar of Neil Marchman whenever possible.

Band spotlight American Beauty March 27th at

Mahogany ridge Among the Grateful Dead tribute bands appearing on Colorado’s music scene in recent years, one newcomer in particular is rising in meteoric style. American Beauty, featuring Rob Eaton, made its debut in December and is bringing its electrifying performance to Steamboat Springs this Saturday at Mahogany Ridge Brewery and Grill. The band is building its reputation largely by focusing primarily on the ‘70s era of Grateful Dead music, which is generally regarded by fans as their “Golden Era”. Taking this concept one step further, the band selects certain engagements to showcase it’s new feature, “Legendary Dead Shows”, in which they perform a pre-announced Grateful Dead show that has risen over time to “legendary” status for its energy, artistry, and song selection. American Beauty builds upon its previous notoriety as Rocky Mountain Grateful Dead Revue with a couple key replacements on drums and keyboards, filled by Andy Sweetser and Stef Briggs. The other three veterans of the previous band include Rob Eaton, of Dark Star Orchestra fame, on rhythm guitar and vocals, Dave Kochmann on lead guitar and vocals, and Jim Allard on bass and vocals. This Saturday’s show at Mahogany Ridge will be open-ended, as the band will call songs spontaneously while taking requests from the crowd. They are excited to return to what has been a long-time favorite venue of theirs. Show time is 9:30PM. Mahogany Ridge Brewery and Grill, 435 Lincoln Avenue, (970) 879-3773. Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out I am broke and the sex doesn’t get better.- textsfromlastnight.com

25


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

by: KeithAppleby Ungulates: hooved animals

1. What is the largest ungulate native to North America? 2. Bactrian of Dromedary, which type of camel has two humps? 3. What band needed more cow bell in a classic SNL sketch featuring Will Ferrell and Christopher Walken? 4. Who starred as Tom Booker , The Horse Whisperer, in the 1998 film based on the novel of the same name by Nicholas Evans? 5. What Cistercian monastery was founded in 1219 AD in Buchan, Scotland with the patronage William Comyn? Hint: The monastery’s name is a homonym for a popular advice column. 6. What company uses Geoffrey the Giraffe as its mascot? 7. What country has the largest domestic sheep population in the world with 157 million sheep as of 2004? 8. The Bay of Pigs was a CIA sponsored invasion of what Latin American country? 9. What R-Word describes ungulates that digest food in two steps, chewing and swallowing in the normal way to begin with, and then regurgitating the semi-digested cud to rechew it? 10. H  ow many reindeer are listed by name in the original 1823 poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas”?

Intermediate Sudoku Puzzles by KrazyDad,

Sudoku #2

The Sudoku Conundrum

1. American Bison or Buffalo 2. Bactrian 3. Blue Oyster Cult 4. Robert Redford 5. Deer Abbey 6.Toys R Us 7. China (Though, New Zealand does have the highest sheep population per capita) 8. Cuba 9.Ruminants 10. 8

5 1 beans for brains

BuddyScofield

2 5 8 1 26

He showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie!- textsfromlastnight.com

6 7 2

5 8 1 8 3 9 1 6 4 7 7 9 2 6 2 © 2008 KrazyDad.com


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

Walks like a Duck

The ?

JonahWeil

“Stuff It”

ChrisWalsh

my cup runneth over.

Across 1 Big-eyed bird 4 Addis ___, Ethiopia 9 “___ and Abner” (old radio comedy) 12 “Well, ___-di-dah!” 13 He followed George 15 “___ Few Dollars More” 16 Appetizer of bread, tomatoes and olive oil* 18 Wading bird in hieroglyphics 19 “Bless you” preceder 20 Super ending? 21 Nine-digit IDs 22 Morning brew* 26 D.C. clock setting 29 Burt Reynolds costar DeLuise 30 Toothpaste holder 31 Present add-ons 33 Buster? 36 Hides in the shadows 39 Where the 2010 Winter Olympics was held* 42 Church council 43 Totally uncool 44 Half of 62-across 45 Potting need 47 Constricting snake 49 “Akeelah and the ___” 50 Actress in 1997’s “Jackie Brown”* 55 Sound like a heavy smoker 56 Most common word in English 57 1998 Edwin McCain hit 61 “___ boy!” 62 Celeb couple in tabloids* 65 Depilatory brand 66 “Who, me?” response 67 Taint 68 Armenia, once: abbr. 69 “At Last” singer James and namesakes 70 Peak ___

DOWN

A bucket of water weighs 20 pounds. What must you add to it to make it weigh 12 pounds? (Answers to Sudoko, Riddle and Crossword can be found on page 28)

1 Exile island 2 “Unwrapped” host Summers 3 “Not gonna happen” 4 Fastest Finger options on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” 5 Scrooge’s word 6 “___ you insane?!” 7 Traditional cloth dyeing technique 8 ___ God (natural disaster) 9 Seafood restaurant cover

10 Pee 11 Former New York congressman Eric in a March 2010 scandal 14 Gold purity unit 15 Handshake alternative 17 Cry convulsively 23 Long times to wait 24 “___ and the Night Visitors” 25 “Star Trek” role 26 Dies down 27 Ellen DeGeneres’s role in “Finding Nemo” 28 Mary-Kate, to Ashley 32 Stuck firmly with one’s opinion 34 Co. whose mascot is Nipper 35 Meal with fries and a drink 37 “The ___ Runner” 38 Fill to excess 40 Beatnik’s assent 41 Kings of ___ 46 Allow to pass 48 Grenoble goodbyes 50 Cereal aisle ingredients 51 Hotel postings 52 “Schoolhouse Rock” magic number 53 Take advantage of the buffet 54 The largest share 58 Nice wheels 59 ___ B’rith 60 “My Name Is ___” 63 Big paper, for short 64 “We all ___ little mad sometimes” (quote from “Psycho”) ©2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com). For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0451.

I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.- textsfromlastnight.com

27


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

THANK YOU! Macedonian Mission for Humanity (MMH) would like to express its sincere gratitude for all the help and support to the International Dinner Event that took place on March 5, 2010 at Steamboat Springs High School from the following organizations, businesses and people: Kiwanis Club of Steamboat Springs Steamboat Springs High School Steamboat Springs School District Culture Club of the SSHS National Honor Society of SSHS Environmental Club at SSHS Interact Club of Steamboat Springs Wells Fargo Bank Jack Dyser & Carol Milligan Yampa Valley University Women The Tennis Center of Steamboat Springs Steamboat Local Steamboat Pilot @ Today Dr. Dawn Obrecht UPS Store Ciao Gelato Shauna Lamansky Photographic Designer The Holly Name Catholic Church The Oak Street Dance Theatre Nora Parker & Irish Dancers The Alpine Bank City Market Walmart Riggio’s Ristorante Carol Baily

Jim Swiggart Ski Haus Visiting Nurses Association (VNA) Alpine Bank of Steamboat Springs Yampa Valley Mortgage Bank Ski Town USA Rotary Club Café Diva 8th Street Steakhouse Egg & I Qdoba Mexican Grill Lift-up Drunken Onion The Ore House Mazzola Majestic Italian Diner Rex’s American Grill & Bar Winona’s Restaurant Mountain Mama’s Steamboat Meat & Seafood Company Cugino’s Pizzeria & Italian Restaurant Fiesta Jalisco Mexican Restaurant L’Apogee Restaurant /Harwigs Freshies Restaurant Bombay Indian Restaurant Mambo Italiano Creekside Café & Grill The Old Town Pub ACE at the Curve Deep Steep Tea Company The Steaming Bean Café Beaujo’s Pizza Rio Grande The Shack Café Tap House Steamboat’s Sports Grill Tennis Center at Steamboat Springs Western Slope Accounting Group/ Jim Nowak Mrs. & Mr. Loken Lynne Garell Jo & Jim Stanko

All that Jazz Mister Money Cornerstone Fulfillment Service Lone Oak Studio Inc Canton Chinese Restaurant Smokehouse Bistro C.V. Restaurant Steamboat Springs Orchestra Annie’s Consignment Shop Life Essentials Old Town Health Club Yoga Center of Steamboat Baroness Wines/Amanda DeCicco Weaver’s Waggin Wash Off the Beaten Path Bookstore, Coffehouse & Bakery Cafe East West Frameshop Marie Matta & Dan Hill Sue & Terry Leonard Diane Kirkendall Johnny & Gigi Walker Claudia Droel Beverly A. Lehrer Brennan Anne-Marie Reynolds Dan Miller & Kathy Kiser-Miller Holly Rogers Lynn Ross-Bryant Mrs. & Mr. Romberg John & Reba Dobell Jennifer Gabriel Cindy Gay Irene Alicot Dr. Shalee Cunningham –Superintendent Babette Dickson Marlene Horace Fisher Silvija Valdez Janice Poirot Sharon Fuller Paula Huselton Holly Larson Nutritional Service at SS School District

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

Scopes To Use in Your Resume ChelseaYepello • The Local • Steamboat Springs Aries

March 21- April 19

April 20 - May 20

When you need that ego boost, try standing in the front row of a concert, then turning around and pretending that everyone is cheering for you. They love you, they really love you.

Gemini

Finally.You are reaping the benefits of all of your trials and tribulations. Ahh. Now that feels better.

cancer

This fortnight you will make your dream come true when you buy that Cookie Monster costume and begin your quest to redeem his name. Go you, everyone is cheering for your success.

LEO

You and the stars are not on speaking terms right now, therefore you have no horoscope. Try again later.

TAURUS

May 21-June 20

June 21 - July 22

July 23 - Aug. 22

VIRGO

Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

So, you may be spending a small fortune to live by yourself. So, you will never be able to afford to pay for your children to go to college. But, damn it, no one is drinking your milk.

SCORPIO

Oct. 24 - Nov. 21

Yay! You finally caught the big giant rabbit that has been lurking around your house. The neighbor kids will be psyched when they hear that you kidnapped the Easter bunny. Jerk.

Sagittarius

Wrestling. Really. What kind of pathetic idiotic loser actually watches that. Oh... Sorry.

Sept. 23 - Oct. 23

capricorn

You want something and they do it... as soon as they do it, you get upset that they did it... can you ever be pleased?

aquarius

No, you are not being ignored or forgotten.You are always in their hearts and you are always loved. Sometimes it’s just nice to know that you are there for them and they take so much security and comfort in that fact, that they don’t feel it necessary to contact you every day. Take it as a compliment.

Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

PIsces

Feb. 19 - March 20

WINNER! 28

She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??- textsfromlastnight.com

You haven’t mentally changed... but you have been working out a lot... and taking more showers... and suddenly all of those neigh-sayers are staring at you like you are the cheese to their wine. Well, take it as a compliment but keep them at arms reach.You can never trust people that base their loyalty to you off of your sex appeal.

LIBRA

Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

Be a

Although it’s strangely fascinating, its never a good idea to eat at a restaurant with pictures of the food on the menu... unless you are a parent and ordering off of a kids menu for your small child... or you have a slur, are seeing double, and may be feeling a little sick. Same difference.

That’s good.You finally took that breathing ornament you keep in your room on a walk. That’s good of you.

Answer to the Riddle Sudoku #2 9 8 4 3 7 5 1 6 3 2 6 7 1 6 8 2 4 7 5 1 2 9 3 4 6 3 7 9 5 4 9 8 8 1 2 5

A Hole 1 2 5 6 4 9 3 8 5 8 1 9 7 3 4 5 9 6 2 3 8 5 7 1 2 1 8 4 3 7 6 2 6 4 9 7

7 2

4 9

8 6 5 1 3


The Local â&#x20AC;˘ Vol 10 issue 07 â&#x20AC;˘ march 25 - april 7, 2010

7gdd`anccĂ&#x2030;hE^ooZg^V ;Vhi#;gZh]#6[[dgYVWaZ# 9Za^kZgnV[iZg*eb -,&"&%%%Â&#x2122;&%i]A^cXdac DeZc&&Vb"&VbÂ&#x2122;,9VnhVLZZ`

Be a

WINNER!

zirkel-local-tp-vert-8.1x5.15.pdf

12/8/09

5:09:31 PM

Northwest Coloradoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BEST VALUE for High-Speed Internet Service!

The ZIRKEL Wireless Advantage:

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Save 10% or 15% with pre-payment discounts

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Compatible with VPN and VoIP

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Compatible with gaming platforms such as: Playstation, Wii and Xbox

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Responsive local service and support

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Reduce, Reuse, Repurpose, Recycle, Refurbish... Redecorate! tuesday - saturday 11-6 â&#x20AC;˘ 870-1300 sundance @ fishcreek â&#x20AC;˘ 405 anglers drive Old Town â&#x20AC;˘ 56 9th St. (temporary location until April)

gift certificates available

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* 8 Mbps speeds are not available in all areas. Call for details.

NOW AVAILABLE IN MOFFAT AND ROUTT COUNTIES It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.- textsfromlastnight.com

29


The Local • Vol 10 issue 07 • march 25 - april 7, 2010

UNClassifieds

The BIZ Business ads Starting at $25/issue

PICTURE CLASSIFIED

Full Color!

Starting at $25/issue

Free section:

Includes two bold lines and around 20 words.

20 word limit please!

freebies LegaL Happy Hour

Free legal advice! Call to sign up.

(970) 879-6200 ext.13 randall Salky, esq. McGill Professional Law

Free Towing of unwanted and abandoned vehicles or equipment from your property. 970-8791998 Cash for your junk car, truck, or equipment, your local steamboat metal recylcler, daily drop off at 2616 Jacob Cir. 970-879-1998 Free Cat, Im moving cant keep him Neutered,rabies shot, de wormed, medium length black hair, loves to cuddle, litter box trained. call for more information 218.368.7666

For sale For Sale: 1974 Suzuki TS185 Enduro Motorcycle. Street legal. Clean title. Kick-start. Two-stroke. New tires. Retro look. Runs Great! Perfect bike to get you around town cheaply this summer! $500 OBO. 970-819-9455 2003 Z71 Chevy Tahoe, 106k, tan leather interior, 6 CD changer, new tires, $11,700 OBO 846-8519 MTD 5/24 Snowblower, refurbished, starts 1st pull. $350 Call Hank (970) 879-9062 Recumbent exercise bike - $100. Pro Form Cross Trainer 55 Model #: PFEX3993.0 Can deliver locally. steamboatvicki@hotmail.com – (970) 846.6489 custom aspen log corner tv stand

30

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

with shelves $150 pd $450. white cabinet set (3) $65 $45 $35. glass computer desk $45 pd $165. glass shelving, goes together like boxes for display $2 ea pc. custom birdseye maple dinning room table top $375 pd $800. custom duel kohler/ rock pedicure station $800. custom glass/cement manicure tables $90 ea. european lg hood heater/dryer $160 pd $400. off white leather chairs $30 ea. brand new blackstone portable grill/griddle $400 pd $550. spa makeup/brushes/nail polish...call for price. Sundazzler standup 10 min tanning bed...low hours new bulbs reg. $9000 sell for $3355 call 970-819-1989 2006 Kona Stinky Deluxe $1700. 970-846-3726

Deadlines: All unClassifieds are due by the

Tuesday before print. Payment for all color photo ads must be made before ad will be printed.

for rent For Rent: Private R.V. Camp Site. Available now, includes water, grey water hookup, black water dump, and garden plot. Electric, propane, and dish hook up available. Horse, cat, & dog negotiable, five acres of pasture on 35 acres. $ 400 /month. See http://rockies.craigslist.org/ sub/1648196111.html to see or call 846-8489. ROOMMATE WANTED: Share House in Oak Creek WD/DW, furnished or unfurn. FREE WIFI $500 mo +utility Avail 4/1/10 (970) 291-1103 ROOMMATE WANTED: 2 rooms in West Acres mobile home park. $410/month large bedroom. $310/month small bedroom. Rent reduction for skilled home improvement. One pet may be OK. 970-819-1804.

real estate Brand new custom poker taBle.

Seats up to ten. High quality. Steal for $750. Call Robert 819-4522.

Buy LocaL! Kismet Jewelry by Gail Holthausen available at Epilogue Bookstore, 837 Lincoln Ave. or online athttp://www.etsy.com/shop/KismetArts

Mobile home in Fish Creek for sale by owner 12’x64’ lot rent $420, best offer (970)291-1103

services

towing

Lost: March 17th at the Boathouse, a black wool jacket with a grey scarf in the pocket. Please call Shawnie at 846-7649

First Month Free while you move in.

Premium 10 X 8 foot storage units. Roll-up doors, hardwood floors. $80.00 / Month. incentives available. Charlie 970-846-4671.

50% off highlights and grey coverage at The Hair Bar, 970-818-1989 Best rates for all your towing needs in Northwest Colorado, 970-879-1998.

The Black Diamond Building is for Rent. First 2-Months Free while you get settled. 1500 SF, Retail or light industrial. $1500. Kitchen, bathroom, lots of parking. First 2-Months Free while you get settled. Call Charlie 970-846-4671.

Travelling massage therapist Sore? Treat yourself to a massage at your location or mine. (970)291-1103

True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back- textsfromlastnight.com

4 SIZES: • 5x10 • 10x10 • 10x20 • 10x30

help wanted Caretaker for small

guest ranch in Steamboat. Must have own vehicle. P/T work in exchange for room. Single person. Housekeeping, guest relations and livestock skills required. Call Steve 819-0055

• All Steel Fireproof Buildings • 24 House Access • Security Lighted • After Hours Rentals

• Outdoor Space (Cars, RVs, Trailers, Etc.) • 3 & 6 Month Discounts • Paved • Fenced

879-9171

2504 Downhill Drive

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(off of Hwy 40, Steamboat Springs)

, 7ÊÊ   ,-t

œ“iÊܜÀŽÊˆ˜Ê>ÊÊ v՘Êi˜ÛˆÀœ˜“i˜ÌÊ>˜`ÊÊ ÀiViˆÛiÊ>Êyi݈LiÊÊ ÃV…i`Տi]Ê«ÀœviÃȜ˜>ÊÊ ÌÀ>ˆ˜ˆ˜}]Ê>˜`ÊLi˜iwÌÃt ««ÞÊ>ÌÊޜÕÀʏœV>ÊÊ -Ìi>“Lœ>ÌÊ-«Àˆ˜}ÃÊÊ -̜Àit

Wyoming Aero Photo aka: “Fly the Boat”

Practical solutions to life’s problems. Reasonable.

Black Diamond Building Mini-Storage

No Stairs • No Hallways All units Drive-Up Access

lost & found

Addictions recovery Life Coach.

Erik Landvik 846-6586 erikdawn@hotmail.com

970-367-7117 OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

American Towing: Free towing of unwanted or vehicles and equipment. Possible cash reimbursement for vehicles. 970-879-1065

Problem with drugs or alcohol?

For rent

Email ads to: info@thesteamboatlocal.com

Now HiriNg SHift MaNagerS We are seeking career minded motivated individuals to help manage Quick Service Restaurants. we offer: • Competitive Pay • Benefits • Paid Training • 401K • Paid Vacation • Unlimited Opportunities for Growth and Personal Development Based on performance. We offer more opportunities for people to find the challenges they want and the recognition they deserve. If you’re ready to match challenge with opportunity, come join our team. Preferred candidates will have previous management experience and demonstrated growth in personal and professional development. Please email resume to: ApplyingForPosition@Hotmail.com or fax 719-573-9404

Documenting the Yampa Valley Since 1991

Aerial photography for Maps, GIS and beautiful prints for your home and office. www.wyomingaerophoto.com ......................................

307.231.1326


The Local â&#x20AC;˘ Vol 10 issue 07 â&#x20AC;˘ march 25 - april 7, 2010

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Hit a parked car with a â&#x20AC;&#x153;property of Jesus Christâ&#x20AC;? bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail maryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and left it on the windshield

31


The Local â&#x20AC;˘ Vol 10 issue 07 â&#x20AC;˘ march 25 - april 7, 2010

32

I found out what Alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness!- textsfromlastnight.com

www.thesteamboatlocal.com (970) 367-7117

Issue 10.7  

Issue 10.7, March 25 - April 7

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