ISS U E 3
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
BECAUSE SHOWING UP MATTERS Thank You For Being Here is a digital publication of original poetry and prose rooted in self-discovery and gratitude. Jenay Ross shares her experiences that explore topics of identity, self-worth, anxiety, relationships and personal growth.
@tyforbeinghere ~ @jenayross ~ #TYFBH Contributing Photographer: Vadym Zhyrov
A Note From Jenay For the majority of my life, I’ve waited for the best versions of myself. And once I felt like I reached a certain stage, I was ready to push myself further. I longed for more knowledge, beauty, confidence, and self-awareness. I’ve never been the type of person to settle. Up until recently, I wasn’t sure how to unlock sheltered pieces of myself that were shaded by low self-worth. On the outside I could appear confident while truthfully I wasn’t. The beauty of life is having the chance to evolve and be better. I’m in a constant state of discovering new layers and characteristics of myself, and I believe some of them have been here all along, deep down. Rather than those layers unleashing themselves with full potential, I first had to uncover and learn to understand them. I’m a few years shy of thirty and have heard great things about the
third decade of life. Maybe I’ll be in full form. But wait, there I go again. Thinking that if I just reach another period of my life, that will be it. I will have reached the utopia of my existence. But that’s incorrect. I’ll turn 30 and experience another 10 years of growth and evolution. Then another 10. And if I’m lucky, another and another. I’ll live many lives that once seemed out of reach or too complicated. They will become beautiful chapters for my whole self. Today, I feel ready for them. Thank you for being here. With care, Jenay
My Space i felt free when i created space for myself to think clearly and speak freely
Full Speed Ahead life will never be without a puzzle or problem to solve. in the backseat of my mind, i’ll always feel anxious about something and feel frustrated when i can’t quite put my finger on why i carry the suffering around with me. i’ll second guess my decisions. but i’m starting to understand that no matter what, the world is spinning. life is moving full speed ahead. and so will i.
Value they didn’t value you but this does not mean you shouldn’t value yourself
See You Tomorrow when all you’re seeing is black, i pull back the blinds for the light to wash over you warm rays of acceptance and love wrap around your body even when you think you don’t deserve it i plead, “please take care” and stay hopeful that i will see you tomorrow
Lies I Used To Tell Myself i have to be liked by everyone i need a lot of friends instagram likes and my job title determine my worth i’m not smart i can’t wear sexy clothing my natural hair makes me undesirable i should be agreeable all the time i’m alone i’m never enough
I’m Not Sorry For Caring people with toxic tendencies will come and go, and i’ll likely try to see the best in them. giving them a chance, maybe even two. i never used to think that being too nice, too vulnerable, or too caring, was a harmful trait. until i met people who took advantage of my kindness, and i found myself walking down too many one way streets. i’m not sorry about how i cared about them. but i’ll never again let someone take advantage of me. they are not deserving. i will no longer allow someone to drain my energy all the way down to zero, or cover my light. i’ve spent too much time building myself up to feel someone tear me down. i will be more selective of who enters my circle and quicker to show someone the way out if they aren’t riding the same wave as me. i have more power than i realize and will learn to respect it.
His Side Of The Bed his whole body shakes when he’s falling into a deep sleep. one night i placed my cheek on his back arms around his waist and panicked, thinking, “i hope i never have to miss this.”
Loaded Words “you’re the most wonderful girl in the world” he says this to me almost every day words i used to think were charmed and loaded with ulterior motives but by watching the sea of his eyes and the movement of his genuine actions i have evolved into a believer in things so deep i couldn’t see them until i was no longer afraid to dive in “you’re the most wonderful girl in the world” you’d think with every utterance the phrase would lose its merit but if there’s one word to describe him, it would be honest i used to hang on to the words of boys who were unlikely to grow into trustworthy men they diminished my trust and i started building walls around my heart until i let him in
Life Is Not A Burden when everything feels like itâ€™s happening all at once i take a step back trying to improve my point of view life is not a burden unloading the weight off my shoulders i long to have a childlike excitement about the minutiae of life this time setting the rules on my own terms
Stay Ready blessings come when you’re ready so stay ready when they start knocking on your door you’ll welcome them with open arms with no hesitation and only excitement because you’ve prepared and put in effort to be ready for moments meant for you
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
Issue 3 of Thank You For Being Here. Poetry and Prose by Jenay Ross. Photography by Vadym Zhyrov.