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FABULOUS

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h Launce u s s I

eal R e b o Dare t You! e b o t Dare

E M B R A C E

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AUTHENTIC SEXUAL Living Women, Let’s

UNITE!

Y O U R

D R E A M S

Issue 1 - Summer 2012 www.fabulouswoman.co.za

Tips on living truthfully with Prof. Mamokgethi Setati, Ipeleng Mkhari, Edith Venter and Salamina Mosese.

Jo-Ann Strauss

Beauty from within

WIN

7-day trip for two to R27,95 (incl vat) RSA. R24,52 Other Countries

Mauritius


Contents Summer

2012

Regulars and Competitions 4 6 8 9 10 11 12 14 67 86 96

50 24

Editor’s note and editor’s favourite things What does being fabulous mean? Contributors Fabulous woman team Socialmedia Trending Upcoming events A fab affair - magazine launch Win with Asara wine estate Win a trip to Mauritius Subscription page

Cover Stories

18

90

24 Jo-ann Strauss - beauty from within 64 A life lived in music - Nothende Madumo 100 Interview with DJ Zinhle 101 Q&A with business woman Ipeleng Mkhari

Features 16 18 19 20 34 49 78

81

Perspective on life - Salamina Mosese Unity amongst women Belles Patisserie / Fab You champagne breakfast event Unity amongst women - Hellooow & Mama knit You are never too young to be driven - Babalwa Rasane Sasria Woman’s day breakfast event What my single mother taught me

Inspiration 30 Spiritual psychology - Omphile Sebitloane

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

36 Inspiration with Tumi Frazier 102 It’s your time - Zanele Mbokazi

Health, Beauty and Fashion 38 40 44 46 48 50 60 62 63

Authentic sexual living - Dr Eve Beauty Podiatry - foot problems caused by high heels Women in golf Business etiquette tips Authentic SA Fashion How to groom your partner without being a nuisance Gifts for him New concept stores

Careers 66 68 70 72 74 88 93

Events with a touch of humility: Edith Venter Inspiration with Professor Mamokgethi Setati The eye doctor Queen of luxury - Anina Malherbe Women in sales: Yugashnee Naicker and Begum Mohammed Passion Meets Purpose For the love of pets - Laura Whittaker and Nicole Badenhorst

Downtime 80 Décor 82 Chef Feature & recipes 90 Dream wheels: Porsche 92 A weekend getaway 94 Décor 103 New Wheels: Mercedes-Benz 104 Growing your own herbs


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Editor’s Note

Hello I am distinctly honoured and delighted to welcome you to the first issue of Fabulous Woman Magazine. This magazine is a culmination of a life-long dream and hopefully marks the beginning of a journey of self-discovery for all our readers. My absolute favourite mantra is a quote by Judy Garland which says, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else.” I believe it is time for us to claim our authentic selves as women and live every moment to our fullest potential according to the unique gifts that have been bestowed upon us. FWM is about extracting the beauty in the stories of women we feature. The beauty that lies within each and every woman irrespective of race, culture and background. While on honeymoon on my first trip to Mauritius, I was tempted to turn back as there was seemingly nothing enroute like the pictures I had seen of the island. The drive to the northern beaches from the airport was nothing spectacular, nothing to write home about. With perseverance and a little persistence, you finally come to see the postcard pictures unfold in front of you as you reach the coastal resorts. The extraordinary Mauritian beauty, pristine beaches and the tranquillity all suddenly hit you at once. And so it is with most women, no matter how they look, no matter what size they are...no matter the circumstances...there is beauty in all women. This magazine is about allowing women to discover the beauty within. It is about showing them how to embrace their dreams and proudly bring out their contribution to the world. All contributions are unique and incomparable. So it is important that every woman should celebrate and acknowledge every other woman’s unique gifts. There is no space for jealousy, envy and bitterness. When you live an authentic life, you are living the life that resonates with your inner being. A life that creates and maintains inner harmony. You will gain inner strength and become immune to manipulation, power plays, sarcasm, jealousy, dishonesty and downright hatred. You will find that your life is elevated to a higher spiritual level. We had a lot of fun working with the launch cover girl, Jo-Ann Strauss. What an authentic soul! Check out her inspirational story on page 24. The magazine is packed with stories about women whose journeys will challenge your views on life and what is important to you. These women bared their souls by answering the challenging questions we posed to them about their lives. We encourage you to take a journey towards your True self and uncover the incredible and powerful person that You are! Be authentic and embrace you dreams. And to you all, valued readers of FWM, I wish you a happy life as we build anew, mend broken lives and hearts, celebrate success and re-ignite the life force that brought each of us into this world in this lifetime. FWM invites you to live An Authentic Life!!

Pontsho 4

FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012


Editor’s

favourite things

Pandora Breast Cancer Awareness collection

PANDORA donates 15% of the proceeds from all breast cancer awareness jewellery to breast cancer organisations worldwide. In 2011, PANDORA globally unified in the Pink Ribbon Campaign and raised more than USD 2 million. Available from PANDORA Concept Stores in Menlyn, Brooklyn, Fourways, Sandton, Eastgate, La Lucia, select Edgars and jewellers nationwide. For more information or to view the collection visit www.pandora.net or call 011 706 2377.

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Embrace your Dreams

What does

BEING FABULOUS

mean?

We asked a few of our celebrities Siki Mgabadeli Anchor SA fm

I believe that being fabulous is about being comfortable and confident in your own skin. That starts with great self-awareness and selfknowledge, which takes years to build. Many young women feel the need to mould themselves in someone else’s image. Whilst there is nothing wrong with that per se, I believe that being fabulous starts with knowing yourself first before you emulate your role model. In today’s world, women have every opportunity to be whatever they want to be. We have opportunities that our mothers and grandmothers could only dream about. It takes hard work to navigate the working world. I believe it should be done with grace, wit and a touch of style.

GET IT! Get your Fabulous Woman Magazine delivered to your door. Check out page 96 for some awesome discounts!

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

Rosie Motene

TV presenter, actor, TV and film producer Being fabulous is about understanding your inner strength. It is the power to deal with your weaknesses head on without fear. Fabulous is about knowing that life has its ups and downs, but you can get through anything, no matter what happens.


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Embrace your Dreams

Zanele Mbokazi

Contributors Marlene Wassenar: Dr Eve

A well-known author, TV Talk show host on relationships, Inspirational speaker and Business woman of Note. In 1999 she started her own company, Mirror PR and Events – a company that specializes in Event Management, Communications, PR and media strategies. She has conceptualized, managed a number of high profile local and international events. As a business woman, Zanele sits in a number of boards and has received a number of accolades and awards including the Marketer of The Year Award from the Institute Of Marketing in 2001.

Marlene Wasserman is an internationally trained Clinical Sexologist, Couple and Sex Therapist, Sexual Medicine Consultant and Therapist, in Private Practice. This means that she spends most of her day thinking, talking and processing relationships and sexual conundrums that people bring to her professional practice. Marlene is the founder of the DR. EVE brand. Find Dr. Eve weekly on radio, occasionally on television and daily on www.dreve.co.za, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and LinkedIn.

Omphile is a Christian Clinical Psychologist; a Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner, Life and Corporate Coach. She is mother of two sons. She has been practicing since 1994, both as therapists (on a part-time basis) and as a corporate employee: manager or consultant in the human resources field particularly in the areas of recruitment a selection, learning and development, organisational development, and change management. She is currently running a consulting company – MoruoBathong Human Capital Investment, which was established in 2004. She has served as an advice columnist for True Love Magazine for three and a half years (2005- 2008) and continues to contribute to articles in magazines, recent ones being in Real, Psychologies, and Foschini Club magazine. She has also provided expert opinion in programmes such as 3-Talk and Motswako.

Omphile Sebitloane

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Tumi Frazier Frazier, one of South Africa’s gems and great change experts who are internationally acclaimed. She is an International Keynote Speaker, Author, Life Coach and Business Consultant. She speaks on Business Principles, Leadership, Effective Life & Work Habits Personal Development and Balance of Life amongst other topics.Tumi Frazier works with various organizations in the United States and Europe. Tumi’s clients range from medium to large corporations, government entities, NGO’s and Universities.


woman

Editorial Assistant: Sandy Waller

Features Editor: Helen Grange

Fashion Editor: Tracy Gold

ADVERTISING SALES advertise@fabulouswoman.co.za

Journalist:

SUBSCRIPTIONS subscriptions@fabulouswoman.co.za

Deepa Naran

Beauty Editor:

PUBLISHERS FABULOUS WOMAN MAGAZINE is owned and published by Bonisa Media

Lerato Masuku

Project Coordinator: Audrey Kgatlhiso Selomane

Editorial Intern: Thembalihle Mosupye

Managing Director: Pontsho Manzi

D R E A M S

WHERE TO FIND US Address: 1st floor, Palazzo Towers West, Montecasino, William Nicol Drive Fourways, Johannesburg Postal address: PO Box211, Fourways North, 2086 Tel: 011 510 0087 Fax: 086 552 1389 Website: www.fabulouswoman.co.za

The Fabulous Woman Team

Pontsho Manzi

Y O U R

team

E M B R A C E

Editor-in-chief:

MAGAZINE

FABULOUS

PRINTING

Creative Director: Ronelle van Zyl

Photographers: Denzil Jacobs, Thys Dullart, Susan McKay

All rights reserved. Reproduction of any material, including digital in whole or in part without written permission is strictly prohibited. REPRODUTION The views expressed in Fabulous Woman Magazine are not necessarily those of the Editor, STAFF or publisher.

SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

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Social Media

We’re LIVE ONLINE

join our social media!

Tw itte r@ fab

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Fa c

eb

oo

k:

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ulou

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ine z a Mag

Twitter@ fabwomanmag www.fabulouswoman.co.za Facebook: Fabulous Woman Magazine

wo ma o man mag ww .fabulousw w

FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

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Trending

?

Fabulous Woman Magazine asks its Facebook fans:

What does being

Authentic mean to you?

“I think it means when real or original”

Kim Dreyer Lindeboom Bongi Ngwira “It means your actions or words are truly what your thoughts are. To be true, genuine to yourself and others, or as our overseas sistas always say, Keeping it real!

“It means being brave enough to be truly yourself even when it’s hard”

Tracy Gold Rehema Isa Fulfilling your dreams, converting potential to reality while experiencing fear, trepidation, frustration, ambition, confidence, insecurity, exhilaration, inspiration, discomfort, joy & sadness independently and all at once sometimes, and being at peace with thinking, feeling, showing and enjoying it.

Write in and win: The writer of this quarter’s winning letter will receive a gift hamper from Beauty Factory.

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Upcoming events

Fabulous Tea Parties

Embrace

your Dreams Johannesburg Saturday the 23rd February 2013

Durban Saturday the 30th March 2013 Please RSVP to 011 510 0087 or audrey@fabulouswoman.co.za Visit www.fabulouswoman.co.za for more details on this and other events. Find us on Twitter: @fabwomanmag Like us at facebook.com/ fabulouswomanmagazine.

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012


TEINT IDOLE ULTRA 24H

LONG-WEAR COMFORT

Discover your perfect colour, formula and finish in 40 shades.** Receive a 7-day trial at your Lancome counter.12 SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

*Auto-evaluation by 109 women **40 shades available across 3 formulas: Teint Idole Ultra 24H in 15 shades, Teint Miracle in 12 shades and Teint Idole Freshwear in 13 shades. While supplies last. Consumer Advisory Department 086 100 1085

NEW


FW

Launch

The magazine was launched in a glittering and fabulously classy event at the Radisson Blu hotel in Sandton and was attended by select guests from the media buying, advertising and the social celebrity including Edith Venter and Jo-Ann Strauss.

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Thanks to our Sponsors!

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Embrace your Dreams

Perspective on life We interview actor, presenter and writer, Salamina Mosese to find out what her perspective is on life.

Salamina Mosese

What is your purpose in life? I am discovering what my purpose is every single day. I have learnt to stop telling God what I want, without constantly asking Him what He wants. Although I believe that I am on the right track, I do think I am still on a journey. And it is great!!

Do you think there is enough unity among women in South Africa today? I think there is not enough unity amongst women worldwide, not just in South Africa. However, I think great strides have been made over the years which have improved the dialogue that exists between women. We have more events organised where women are celebrated and empowered. I believe that the generations of women to come will be more empowered themselves. Therefore, they will not view other women as opponents but rather as sisters bound by a common cause.

If today was your last day on earth, what would do and say? I would say to my loved ones, “I have no regrets. Live your life in the service of others. Remember to do things that bring you happiness.”

Do you believe in helping another sister? Yes, women should lift one another up. Especially, those who are in positions of power and influence.

What’s your vision of a perfect society? A society where children do not suffer at the hands of those who are meant to protect, nurture and uplift them. It is a society where women know their place, and make efforts to uplift themselves and their communities. In this perfect society education is not just a privilege for the chosen few, but a right for everyone.

If you weren’t a presenter and actress, what would you choose to be? I always thought that I would have made a really good teacher.

What’s your own definition of happiness? Happiness is not a goal, but a by product. It is being satisfied with your God-given self. It’s about waking up every morning knowing that you are worthy and are cherished. It is knowing that you are becoming what you were created to be. I don’t believe that joy is in things. Joy is within us. What were your dreams as a child? I wanted to be a social worker. I wanted to work with children and survivors of abuse. I also wanted to travel around the world for fun, food and adventure. This is still my dream.

“When we women feel good on the inside, we radiate all that light into the world around us.”

Do you think you are living your dream? I have a wonderful man in my life, a beautiful daughter and I am doing what I love; acting. There is certainly much more I would like to be doing, but I am definitely living part of my dream. What are your three most important values? Humility, self -respect and faith. What contribution do you feel you are making towards improving our society? I mentor young women who come to me for advice on the entertainment industry. I also have an advice blog. I am currently working on some ideas to grow this further. I also participate in various charity initiatives where I have an opportunity to give back.

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

Do you believe in meditating? If so, do you meditate daily? Yes I do. But I do not meditate daily. I usually fall asleep when I do attempt it. Perhaps I should improve my technique. What does integrity mean to you? To me it means treating others with respect and respecting yourself. It’s treating others as you would like to be treated. It’s conducting yourself in a manner that would not shame your mother. Hahaha!

Has being a celebrity changed you? How? I was extremely shy growing up. However, presenting and acting from when I was about 15, broke me out of my shell and forced me to be more open and assertive. The more work I did on-screen, the more people expected from me when they saw me in public. I learnt very quickly that shyness can sometimes be mistaken for arrogance. So I developed a public persona, which helped me to navigate the sometimes choppy waters of our industry. What does being “Fabulous” mean to you as a woman? When we women feel good on the inside, we radiate all that light into the world around us. So being fabulous is being happy with you, flaws and all. It is knowing that no one makes a better You, than you do. Fabulosity isn’t so much about clothes and makeup, but about attitude and character. These speak volumes!


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Unity amongst women

My mission

to Unite Women

W

omen upliftment is very close to my heart. I made it my responsibility to be the voice that would drive the mission of bringing unity amongst women. I want women to stand together in unity despite race, colour and background. It is my dream that women should support, love, encourage, appreciate and uplift one another. I believe lack of unity among women is the biggest problem in South Africa and the world. One of my goals as an author and professional motivational speaker is to build a greater sense of unity among women. I believe that women must support each other in their personal and professional lives. I want to see women’s relationships change for the better. I often ask myself why it is so difficult for women to love each other and work together. If a woman is confident, she would understand her worth. She will appreciate and love herself. She will have no reason to distance herself from other women. If a woman, however, finds her security and comfort in the things of the world, then she’ll have every reason to want to compete with her sisters instead of loving them. Why do women, in general, have such a hard time displaying love to one another? I have yet to walk into a room, and feel a strong sense of love and respect among the women inside. Instead, what I see are women who purposefully keep their distance from one another. I see the unwelcoming body language, the unfriendliness and judgemental behaviour. And this is just amongst women alone with no men involved! Although slightly exaggerated you may say, the reality is painfully close to this observation. We are our own worst enemy. Let us encourage and support one another. We all crave that feeling of belonging. The warm feeling of assurance that other

sisters have your back. I long for the day when I could just sit with other women and not have to deal with baggage, gossip, petty image issues and other negative thoughts and behaviours that do more to separate than unite us. Let us mentor each other and uplift one another by demanding that each of us to rise above ourselves and embrace the greatness within all of us. I believe that women are the backbone of the world and the salt of the earth. If there is a lack of unity, the whole world suffers. We need to take a good, long honest look at how we relate to each other. We need to make more of an effort to reach out to one another and display gestures of friendliness, love and respect. Even if it is just a smile to ease each other’s struggles! Don’t walk past a sister without a smile. Let her know you see and acknowledge her as a friend and not a competitor. My aim is to encourage women to be there for each other and do something to show their appreciation to women around them. All women must undertake to “Be their sister’s keeper” and be mindful of the implications of their behaviour on other women and the cause of women in general. A true test of the appropriate behaviour should be an affirmative answer to the question, “Does this add to or subtract from the cause of women?” In most instances, women are, through our own doing, accused of being petty and therefore not deserving of being taken seriously in what is still a man’s world. You’ve heard the phrase, “United We Stand, Divided We Fall.” I believe women are powerful creatures beyond what the world would have had us believe in the past. We are the fairer sex not because of our weakness but as a result of our compassion and capacity to love. If women stand together, they indeed can change the world!! Sisters, let us unite and keep the fires burning!

Editor-in-chief

Pontsho

Twitter:@ladyPontsho

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If lashings of French butter on a woody baked fresh French baguette is your idea of indulgence, you will be spoilt for choice. A jewellery box of macaroons, red velvet cake, decadent cupcakes, tarts, light lunches and an extensive savoury line are just some of the hand-crafted products to eat in or take out from the new Belle’s Patisserie. An intimate space positioned in the chic and trendy Blubird shopping centre will have visitors desperate for more. A sophisticated blend of baroque panels with antique detailing, cabinetry of pearl white, dove grey and cameo pink, gilding and crystal are just some of the décor elements one can expect. Founder, Linda Lipschitz comments, “Since the inception of Belle’s Patisserie in January 2010 I have been able to express my passion for all things beautiful. The new Blubird destination is a natural progression for my brand and its extensive offerings. I look forward to patrons enjoying the complete sensory experience that Belle’s Patisserie offers.”

Visit us at Blubird Shopping Centre, Shop no. 16, Corner Atholl Oaklands Rd & Fort St, Birnam

Fabulous Woman magazine in proud partnership with The Marion on Nicol Boutique Hotel and Belles Patisserie hosted an intimate and exclusive Champagne Breakfast with 30 women to share inspiration.

The red velvet cupcakes from Belles Patisserie and the tantalizing breakfast from the Marion on Nicol Boutique Hotel served at the event were the staff of legend!

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Unity amongst women

Dreams and reality... I have the vision and the passion but I can’t do it all myself! I’ve realised that I’m good at conceptualising and coming up with the ideas but I need people with a creative eye and good attention to detail to help me bring my dreams to reality. That’s where my team of talented & enthusiastic ladies comes in. Together, we are learning new skills daily, working with crochet, knitting, pottery and needlework, creating gorgeous handmade products, while keeping the ladies employed and giving them skills that they will never forget.... and having loads of fun at the same time! All my ladies are HIV affected, so it’s really rewarding seeing them regain self worth and confidence. We are also working with a recycled paper clay to make all of our ceramic items, this adds to the ‘robustness’ of each piece, reduces their weight and also supports recycling. To find out more about us please visit our website:

www.hellooow.co.za

or email : me@hellooow.co.za Or call us, we’d love to hear from you ~ Merewyn de Heer : +27 82 465 1845 Showroom : Shop 2 Meander Square, Nottingham Rd ~ Opposite Gowrie Village : Weekend Viewing by appointment...

Proudly

made in the

South African sun!

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012


www.hellooow.co.za SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

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Unity amongst women

The Brains

behind the concept:

Knit-a-rowand-go

Me-a-Mama has launched a charity drive in June 2012 to knit 1000 blankets for orphaned babies. The idea is simple - we place wool, needles and instructions in cafes, Carey Dinwidd and Nicola Jackson hairdressers and waiting rooms then anybody can knit as much as they can while they wait or chat. They then leave the wool in the tub for the next person to pick up and carry on. It is plain stitch knitting - you can learn how to do it in two minutes s and you simply tie the next ball of wool on and keep going until your strip is the length of 2 knitting needles. Once the strips are knitted we are going to stitch them together with the help of some lovely ladies at old aged homes and then deliver them to orphanages and places of safety for abandoned children. So far, public engagement has been fantastic as we’re not asking for hand-outs, just hands to get stuck in and knit. We’ve had an incredible 8000 balls of wool and 400 pairs of needles donated by Elle yarns and the lovely people at Knead Bakery have hosted four launch events we call Mad Knitters Tea Parties. Knead donated tea, cupcakes, scones and R10 coffees to all knitters and the launches were phenomenal with beautifully styled tables of people chatting, knitting and feeling good because they were doing well. Independent people have also stood forward to volunteer to help manage the knitting or start their own guerilla knitting groups. The most awesome sight is to see groups of people feeling great about what they are doing. Instead of fiddling with phones or getting angry with bills arriving late they are knitting and getting us closer to keeping a baby warm this winter.

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If you would like to get involved or to follow the blankets please ‘like’ our Facebook page MeAMama Maternity, call Nicola on our knitting hotline 071 872 7104 or email carey@meamama.co.za

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Cover Story

Jo-Ann

Strauss Beauty from within

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012


Jo-Ann Strauss is not only a recognized beauty and well known TV presenter, she is also a charity worker who serves to alleviate poverty and in particular, give young girls the start in life that she was so fortunate to have herself. By Helen Grange.

J

o-Ann was only 19 when she won Miss South Africa What to you are the non-negotiable requirements in a marriage, in 2000, and was suddenly catapulted into the public and in friendship? consciousness. Still, she graduated from Stellenbosch Trust and laughter. We spent a few weeks reading books like Things University with a B.Com (law) degree. Most of us know I wish I’d known before we got married by Gary Chapman and her as the beautiful composed presenter of Top Billing, the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. It’s important that you can laugh at interviewing the likes of George Clooney, Charlize things and argue fairly. It’s inevitable that when two strong-willed Theron and Elton John. She was also the flawless face individuals decide to be together for a long time, that they trust and of Lux. Yet when you meet her, it’s not any of her public understand, or at least try to understand one another. Same applies personas you immediately respond to, but her down-toto a friendship. earth, girl-next-door warmth and unaffected generosity of spirit. One of Jo-Ann’s best known projects is the Princess Project, Why did you choose a simple, discreet wedding rather than a established in 2008 to give deserving young ladies the chance to go flashy affair? to their matric balls or proms in designer dresses previously owned I think that the entire process of marriage is very sacred. I’ve always by South Africa’s top celebrities. The idea behind her initiative dreamt of one long table with 30 guests and we decided to splurge was born of the fact that she herself went to her matric dance in a on those nearest and dearest to us. So we had a braai on the “previously-loved” designer dress which she bought with her mom Friday night at a beach house and then our late afternoon wedding at a second-hand store. followed by a brunch. We wanted the entire weekend to be a Jo-Ann’s story could be like any fairytale, full of bling, beauty, honeymoon for our guests too and they all stayed at this gorgeous brains and happy endings. But she is a real resort with us in Camps Bay. I try to separate woman who also embraces her spirituality, thinks work from my private life, and my husband and deeply, loves and cries, and laughs a lot (she is family never chose to be in the media industry. known for her laugh!). And this makes her all the more inspirational. Jo-Ann says her parents Johan Did Michael and you discuss all your respective Never take yourself and Ingrid Strauss have always been her rock and issues/needs/desires before getting married? too seriously and put example of how to live. Yes, we did. Our neighbour is a priest and we In April this year, our heroine got married went for various chats to make sure what it yourself into someone herself, to her long time boyfriend German meant to us and how our upbringings might else’s shoes first when orthopaedic surgeon Michael. Not under influence our views on marriage. We also read a making decisions. spotlights with hundreds of people like other lot together and spoke a lot about the idea of a celebrities, but discreetly and intimately. It speaks wedding versus marriage. I believe that people volumes of this fabulous woman and her nature, spend more time planning weddings than they which can be summed up as, ‘be true to yourself, do marriages. and live with honesty and integrity’. We meet up with Jo-Ann for a photo shoot and interview at the You went to a game lodge for the second leg of your honeymoon. exclusive 15 On Orange hotel on a cold, wet and windy Cape Town Have you always been a bush lover? day. Despite the typical Mother City weather, the atmosphere in the I’ve always been fascinated by nature and love the honesty that well-appointed penthouse is cozy, warm and personal. Just like our Mother Nature exudes, as opposed to man-made beauty. We did a leading lady! We ask Jo-Ann to take us on a journey through her life marine safari in the Maldives and then a bush safari. and what drives her to set the bar so high in her life, and then smash all her expectations by achieving even more than she ever thought What are your three most important values? possible. This is what she has to say: Integrity, honesty and unconditional love. You are now in your 30’s. Do you feel more confident and self assured than you were in your 20’s? Definitely! My Miss SA year happened in my teens, and to be honest I had so many insecurities. In your 20’s, everyone else’s opinion influences how you feel about yourself. In your 30’s, you focus less on the external and more on the internal and those who love you truly and deeply. Their opinions count.

What is your purpose in life? To be the best me I can be. I try to strive for things that make me happy, but these should never be at the expense of others. If today was your last day on earth, what would do and say? I’d probably sit and enjoy a glass of merlot on the couch with my husband and look at our stacks of photo albums and reflect on how blessed we are.

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Cover Story

What’s your vision of a perfect society? I envisage a society where we are driven by love and not by greed. What’s your own definition of happiness? I believe that it’s a choice and something that we consciously have to work at achieving and maintaining.

for a mentorship weekend. The webisodes (web episodes), which my production company JSP did, are up on the website www. presentersearch.com, so you can journey with us.

What were your dreams as a child? I had so many – I wanted to be a prima ballerina, a pilot, a doctor and a princess. I have started ballet again after 18 years and the oldest “girl” in my class is in her 70’s.

Do you think there is enough unity among women in South Africa today? Yes and no. In many instances, I do see that women try to uplift one another, regardless of circumstances, but in many instances, I also see how jealousy also clouds our judgment. I’m not innocent, but I’m trying to follow the idea that a candle loses none of its own light by lighting another.

Do you think you are living your dream? I do believe I am. Dreams evolve and so do we as people.

Do you believe in helping another sister? Absolutely, but we shouldn’t forget about the brothers too.

Has being a celebrity changed you? I’m sure it has and I don’t see how that’s always a bad thing. I’m probably a bit more guarded when it comes to strangers. And sometimes people are quick to say that I’ve changed when actually, their attitude towards me might also have changed because of the industry I work in.

What does being fabulous mean to you as a woman? So many different things mean “fabulous” to me! A fabulous pair of shoes, a fabulous new business contact or friend, a fabulous meal cooked by my mother! All in all, fabulous is a feeling – one of excitement, anticipation and elation!

Name an exciting initiative you have been working on? I held an online competition for people to submit their presenting auditions and out of 300 entrants, I took four finalists to Zambia

What does integrity mean to you? To be able to look yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you are daily.

Jo-Ann chatting with Editor-in-chief Pontsho Manzi

Glam Team

Jo-Ann with girls from her non-profit orgprincess project.

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I envisage a society where we are driven by love and not by greed.

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Cover Story

If you weren’t a presenter, what would you choose to be? I’d probably be investing more time in entrepreneurial development in this country. People have great ideas, but struggle to convert them into viable business plans and well-run businesses. We need to nurture entrepreneurs. What is your secret to success? Never take yourself too seriously and put yourself into someone else’s shoes first when making decisions. When do you see yourself starting your own family? When God steps in and says its time. Wink. Who was your rock as you grew up, and what qualities would you like to emulate when you become a parent? My mom and dad – they were married at a young age and fought the odds to raise two children in a nurturing, loving, caring environment. My mom finished her matric through evening classes when I was in Grade 11 and we raced to see who would finish first. This was while she worked a full-time job and took care of our family. She has shown me that intelligence is not only learnt in books, but it’s developed over time from relationships and understanding. What sort of parent do you think you’ll be? Hopefully the type of parents mine are. They’ve taught me never to give up! You’ve interviewed dozens of international stars. Who really stood out for you in terms of having their lives together and being in control of their destiny? I enjoyed interviewing Roger Federer. He was calm and collected and you could see how much he loves his wife. We spent a whole day together and I realized that while he is one of the most celebrated sports icons of our times, he is nothing without his wife and his family.

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Jo-Ann, a glamour girl since she was young...

You’ve been in many nerve-wrecking situations. How do you conquer fear and anxiety? I breathe deeply and smile. What is your spiritual leaning and are you devout in spiritual practice? I was raised in a Christian household and believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I also like learning about other practices like Buddhism, Islam and Judaism and feel that ignorance cannot be bliss when it comes to spirituality. I wouldn’t say that I’m devout, but I try to live a spiritual life mindful of others and God. What do you think is your strongest personality attribute? The fact that I’m quite open-minded helps a lot. When traveling, or when things don’t go as planned, it’s important to be able to change tack quickly and enjoy whatever life brings. If you had to choose two messages of inspiration for young career women out there, what would they be? “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” You have to take responsibility for your own destiny! “The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you’re the pilot!” Again, don’t blame others for things not going your way but yourself. Things may happen, but the way you deal with them is what counts. Lastly, how do you stay looking so lovely? ... A tip or two please! I try to live relatively healthily – long walks on the beach when I’m at home, drinking lots of water and not concentrating on external beauty too much. Wear a smile in your heart and the smile on your face will show that.

Jo-Ann is indeed a deserving Miss South Africa for both her absolute beauty and more importantly, her brains and emotional intelligence. She is a balanced and fabulous woman, a true ambassador of the fairest Cape. As we wrap up the interview, I can’t help but feel blessed to have spent a wonderful morning with one of the best ambassadors of the Miss South Africa pageant. I leave inspired, challenged and mostly grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know the real Jo-Ann Strauss and to present her to the rest of the country in a special way.

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Spiritual Psychology

Authenticity

Omphile Sebitloane

Definition Simply put, to be authentic means to be true, real, genuine, not false or copied. I found a definition in the online Business Dictionary for document authenticity that I thought might equally apply to human authenticity. It says: “Characteristic of a document or record created by the entity represented as its creator, and preserved in its original form without any falsification or tampering. A genuine signature is usually the best proof of authenticity”. It is often said that our lives are letters that can be read. By that one would assume that we have an author, who wrote us with a purpose. The above definition is loaded with possible interpretations. The book of all times, the Bible, tells us that we are created in God’s image, for a unique and special purpose. For us to pass the authenticity test, we ought to be preserved in the original form without any falsification or tampering. We are created spirit, soul and body, and are in constant effort to preserve harmony between these three. God’s signature in us is His Spirit, which is our proof of authenticity. We can manipulate the body, how we look, what people see on the outside, and we can also manipulate the soul, make pretence about our emotions, adopt beliefs and thought patterns that can either support or devalue our authentic self. The spirit, however, knows its purpose, and will constantly strive to identify and realise that purpose. The search for authenticity therefore rests in the constant effort to create equilibrium between these three, particularly, between spirit and soul. The soul has three main parts, thoughts, emotions and will. The three are interconnected. Thoughts are the seeds, everything starts with the thoughts. If allowed to take root, thoughts will lead to action. Thoughts also trigger emotions, and together, are a prelude to action. The will on the other hand, is a powerful force that can supersede thoughts and emotions. It can override thoughts and the emotions and cause action that may not always be consistent with those thoughts and emotions. It’s the part of the soul that acts like the regulator of the soul, although it is fed by the two. For example, when in a tempting situation, you may think that even if you fell into the temptation, no one may see you or will know. You may also feel the urge to do what you are tempted to do, but your will may override your thoughts and emotions and stop you from doing that thing. The opposite can also be true, your thoughts say it is wrong, you feel wrong about it, but you still do it anyway.

Internal battle to be authentic It is sometimes easier to be authentic with others than with yourself.In other words, you might succeed at portraying a picture of yourself to others which is so consistent that others come to believe that they know you. For example you may be an unassertive person, who is giving to people of your time, valuables and love, a person who never says no to a request for help. People may then

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see you as a generous, kind person, and come to believe you are authentic. However, this may not be out of your desire or will to be generous, it may be a consequence of your inability to say ‘no’, thus your acts of generosity may cause you a great deal of internal turmoil as you may feel resentful about having done something you feel you should have said no to. This is not true authenticity. True authenticity is having a soul that is in harmony with itself True authenticity is having a soul that is in harmony with itself and its portrayal to the outside. An authentic soul is at peace and its portrayal to the outside. An authentic soul is at peace with with itself and with the world around it. itself and with the world around it. What about the battle for perfection that continually challenges the authenticity of the soul? You are envious of a friend, yet you know that envy is not desirable, so you strive not to be envious but to rejoice with your friend over whatever it is that makes you envious. Does authenticity mean accepting that you are envious and behaving in a manner consistent with this, or is it allowing the will to override the emotion of envy and do all you can internally to make your emotions conform to your will? This internal turmoil is common to many, and requires an authentic response to promote the health of the soul. And so authenticity calls for an internal conference of the soul characterised by the following: • Admission: Admission that this is the state of affairs, acceptance that it is so, and your feelings are real not imagined. • Interrogation: Interrogating the causes of the state of envy, why you are feeling envious towards your friend, or whatever situation you find yourself in. What thoughts/beliefs inform your feelings about this situation? Do you believe you cannot attain what she has, or do you feel it is unfair that she has what she does and you don’t? Why? Is it because you feel you are not worthy to have it or don’t have what it takes to have it or that she is generally lucky/blessed and you are not? Where do these thoughts of unworthiness come from? An experience earlier in life? • Reparation: An internal workout to rationalise your unhelpful beliefs about the situations. Think, I am unique and have my own unique experiences and blessings. • Acceptance: Acceptance of yourself as OK, and therefore accepting your friend is also OK. Authenticity therefore is not a state of being, it is a process of cleansing of the soul, where the soul recognises that which is foreign to itself, that which is not adding to its health, and embarking on a journey to create harmony within itself. It is not accepting poison, nor saying I have poison therefore the world has to live with my poison if it wants me. Nor is it staying in self condemnation because what you experience on the inside may not always go with what is evident on the outside. This leads me to the quality inherent to a healthy soul contentment. A healthy soul is a content soul, but what does this really mean? Does it mean just being happy with what is,


appreciating things as they are and finding a way to live with them? On the contrary, contentment is a state of being satisfied, while the dynamic process of finding authenticity is in progress. So we see the difference here, that while authenticity is a process, contentment is a state of being. In other words, it is being OK even though you are not satisfied with your current state, while working towards your desired state. Having a desire for better things, yet not allowing that desire to so consume you that your happiness/joy depends on having or not having those things is the essence of contentment.

Anchors of Authenticity The journey to authenticity cannot begin without an understanding of oneself, of who you are. But who are you? It sounds unrealistic to try and define who you are, because the very effort of trying to put you in a bottle is confining, for how can you contain the greatness that you are? How can you narrowly define the power you have? Any effort to define who you are ought to take into cognisance the fact that the being in you contains powers to reinvent itself, desires to grow, to seek something more, and strives to find its true purpose. It is only when we stop the expressions of these, in the many variations that they come, that we begin to die, for then we deny ourselves. Every journey has a starting line, though the end may not be clearly defined. The starting point is that point where you define your values, what shaped these values, what living those values looks like in your daily walk, and what it means to you to live those values.

Brutal honesty

Authenticity demands brutal honesty with ourselves: being totally Authenticity demands brutal true to our feelings, thoughts andhonesty values. with ourselves: being totally true to our feelings, thoughts and values. When no-one is looking, being able to confront yourself without fear or shame. It means being able to accept that you have those feelings and thoughts that define you as human. Furthermore, it means being congruent or working to achieve that congruency within you. Such congruency is possible when you understand the root foundations of some of your beliefs and feelings, especially when they are rooted in painful experiences of the past.

Digging deep within to find the real you The process of answering “who am I” is not an easy one. The journey can be a long one for those who may have lived most part of their lives defining themselves according to other’s standards, living in the shadow of others or simply just getting along because the task of defining who they really are is too daunting. Often how we see ourselves is a product of the programming we received earlier in our lives. We are likely to see ourselves the way that our parents or primary care givers saw us. If they treasured us , loved us and thought we would be stars of tomorrow, that helped to develop a positive self-image and esteem in us. On the other hand, if their attitude was less appreciative of us, if they did not affirm

us or even expressly did or said hurtful things to us, we come to think that we are less worthy human beings. Unfortunately these beliefs get so deeply hidden in us that we often fail to recognise how they shape the way that we see ourselves, how we behave and how we let others continue to treat us in our adult lives. To reach authenticity requires continuous effort, courage and patience. It is not a journey for the faint-hearted, as often the images presented before us are hard to deal with. Often people do not even like the image they see in the mirror. The very essence of the authenticity journey is to work towards a point where you appreciate and not only like but love what you see in the mirror. This requires looking deep into those long burried perceptions of others that we have come to accept as ‘the truth’ and questioning what or who gave them the right to define who we are? After all, they are not our creator. The one whose signature is in us is the one who has the right to define us, and He says we are wonderfully and beautfully made , and we need to remember that to keep to the original copy, and be authentic. Bringing those negative perceptions into the open and dealing with them, so we can find out who we are, and who we want to be, requires us to do certain things: The famous prayer of serenity could not be far from reaching to the core of the journey towards authenticity: ‘Lord give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference’, the prayer goes. There are very few things that one cannot change in life, and most often these are things in the past, eg., divorce, loss through death, and pertinently some things about our physical selves, eg., our height, race, body shape. For these things, acceptance is the key to finding the authentic self. Acceptance is about embracing lessons from past events, and acknowledging that such events have not left you the same, but added to the essence of what defines you and have propelled you to yet another dimension of who are you. So, as a woman, a mother,

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Spiritual Psychology

Authenticity

Omphile Sebitloane

you cannot change the fact that you have children, but you need to recognise that having children has helped define who you are, has brought out qualities you never knew you had. Part of this journey means we not only embrace the good things, but also the painful ones, because it is the sum total of these experiences that makes us who we are. The challenging and exciting work though is changing those things that we can change. The good news is that there is nothing impossible to the human mind that believes that it is capable. So the prerequisite is to believe that authenticity is a possible and reacheable objective, that it is possible to be at peace with who you are and yet strive for something more, and for these forces to be different yet congruent within you.

Self Love I was recently challenged by a poem written by a 13-year-old girl who is battling with an ageing disease called progeria. She calls herself ‘first lady’ because she is the first black girl to suffer from this illness. She writes in her poem: “My life was never presented as a complex puzzle, but a simple experience whose solutions exist.” What is challenging is that at age 13, she has come to embrace who she is and to cherish it, with all the challenges it presents. Now that is what I call self-love. It doesn’t have to be conceited and inconsiderate of others, it simply says I exist and I matter. Only then does it appreciate that the other also exists and matters.

The search for meaning It is human nature to always look for something more, to extend oneself beyond one’s current level and find new capabilities, i.e., to grow. Whether this is triggered by internal forces of motivation or by external prompts, everyone at some point reaches a level of discontentment that can only be satisfied by expansion of personal horizons, conquest over previous limitations and a liberation that comes from doing something unusual or new. Victor Frankl, the father of existential psychology, calls this the search for meaning. Some people are catapulted into this state by personal experiences of trauma and hardship, yet others stumble into it, because of the emptiness they feel inside. He concluded: ‘love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire’. It is no wonder that he came to this conclusion, because love, of one’s creator, self and of others is the greatest commandment of all times.

Enemies of Authenticity Denial: To create a false sense of security, some people would rather not face the truth about themselves, or their situation. At its best denial is a form of pathology that forces one to create and live a false reality. While it can temporarily offer a buffer for gathering ones’ strength and prevent total breakdown in cases of trauma, its adaptive qualities cannot be sustained for a life of contentment and authenticity. Denying how you really feel about a situation, or your dislike for being treated in a certain way just to keep peace with your spouse, a friend, leads to suffocation of the authentic self.

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Fear: So many dreams and visions die or are aborted before they come to pass, all due to fear, whether it is fear of failing, of succeeding, of finding out something about yourself that you may not be very comfortable with. The best cure for fear is confrontation with the very thing that you fear, as turning away denies you the knowledge of the true potential and power in you. As you are reading this, may I dare ask you, is the job you are currently doing what you really want to do? Would you rather be doing something else but are too scared to venture out? Complacency: We are all too familiar with this one – we call it the ‘comfort zone’. What it boils down to really is simply laziness. Some people are too lazy to take action to find their authentic selves. Let’s face it, it does take effort and at times working hard against the odds. What you need is real courage and enough dosage of self-love to recognise you are worth it, and take time to invest in yourself for a more fulfilled you. A lot of people, and you may be one of those, have been dealing with issues that keep resurfacing time and time again, just in different ways, e.g., repeating relationship patterns, so you keep ending up with the abusive type. Have you ever considered taking time to reflect on why this is happenng, and do the necessary work to change those things in you that keep being attracted to and attracting these type of relationships? Self betrayal: This is the opposite of self love. Living in the shadow of another, walking the path of another, all in an effort to prove you can also do it: this is self-betrayal. The biggest tragedy in life is to invest so much of your time, hidden or undiscovered talents, walking in a path that was not crafted for you. This self-deception is not only the fate of the foolish, it happens to the best of us. A slight loss of focus on one’s journey can easily lead one to fall into the trap of adopting another’s journey as your own, simply because your own is not clearly defined. The glamour often portrayed by the media about ideal body shape, size, marriage, career, and definition of success in general, can easily lead one to despise what one has, and cause one to long for something that someone else presumably has, thus betraying oneself. The irony of it all is that the very thing you envy in another, they themselves may not be satisfied with it, or may be longing for something more… Settling for less than best: This is often a by-product of all the factors named above. I have seen it so often in women who choose to be someone else’s mistress. Whatever rationalisations one has for this, it comes down to the fact that you have acceded to the deception that there is no genuine love, you are not worthy enough for something better, and are willing to settle for the crumbs that others are enjoying the most benefit of. At times it’s about settling for that job because of the security it provides, while you deny your dreams and sacrifice your purpose. While the journey towards authenticity is not an easy one, it most certainly is worth the effort and time. Nothing beats you living life in its simplicity as the real you, embracing every moment, every encounter, every experience in a genuine childlike attitude, yet with wisdom, in a manner that is consistent with your inner self. One author said about writing a story: ‘a happy ending is the prerogative of the writer’. It doesn’t matter where we are in life at this moment, and yes it matters where we have been, but where you will be tomorrow, is your own prerogative, as the writer of your own script. The question is, when the originator looks at your life, would He be able to recognise you as the authentic piece he created you to be, or will He find a jagged cut and paste puzzle from others’ journeys and destinies? Will you take up the challenge to find, nurture and live your authentic self? You are worth it! Personal Breakthrough Workshop with Omphile Sebitloane Join us as we assist you on a road to self- discovery and mastery. Date: 10 November 2012. To book your seat, please register on the website www.omphiles.com


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Babalwa Rasane - TV presenter and Founder of Urban Glamour

You are never too

young to be

driven

People tend to think of celebrities and business people as possessing that other-worldliness about them and the hallowed sense of achievement that is elusive to all but these few ‘blessed’ individuals. So it is with this beautiful dynamite of a young lady and businesswoman who dreamt and started Urban Glamour, the producer of high quality locally made handbags. Prada, watch out as South Africa has another star in the making. As we sit down to a cup of coffee on a wintry morning in Johannesburg, I am amazed at how young she is to have achieved so much already. I am immediately intrigued by her and cannot wait to listen to her life story. “I grew up in Umtata in the Eastern Cape. I spent the first 7 years of my life in the rural areas living with my grandmother,” she smiles as she remembers her beautiful childhood. She would later move to the suburbs to live with her single mother who worked in Umtata. As unfortunately common in most of the South African households, she grew up without her father. At the age of 8, she loved staying with her mother who showed her that she was important and mattered in life. “Spending time with my mother was the best thing ever in my formative years. My business acumen was moulded by my mother who was an insurance sales person.” Since she had spent most of the first 8 years with grandma in the rural areas of Umtata, her command of the English language left much to be desired. When she got to Grade 9, Babalwa attended Gladys King Primary School. Her confidence soared. She started speaking English even at home in order to practice. “At the same time I started learning a lot about insurance and business worlds from my mother. I started believing in myself”. The most valuable lesson that her mother taught her was to never change her opinion because someone else held a different view. Her mother taught her that her thinking and opinion were important. She started feeling that her ideas were important, thanks to her mother. “It made me confident in myself and what I am capable of achieving.” By Grade 10, Babalwa had moved to Johannesburg to live with her aunt in Cresta. She enrolled at Randgirls High School. “It was a culture shock and a terrifying change!” she recalls. “I am a very shy and reserved person. I did however get attention wherever I went.” Babalwa took drama as one of her classes and got involved in the debating society at the school. This built her confidence and publicspeaking ability. “I remembered a primary school teacher back in Umtata who said that I was going to do great things in life. She could have been saying that to all kids she taught but those words struck

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a chord with me and stayed with me forever.” When Babalwa finished her matric, she enrolled for a B Com Marketing degree at the University of Johannesburg. She was now in the big league and away from her mother. She remembered her mother’s advice which said, “You must be like a duck. Paddle hard beneath the surface and above water make it seems effortless to the rest who are watching”. This is what made her transition into adulthood that much easier. Living with her mom was so rewarding that she missed nothing from living without her father. “My parents were never married. I only met my dad for the first time when I was 8. I didn’t really care who he was. My mom was enough. She did incredible things!” When I became a teenager, “I started feeling the gap because of the constant fights with my mom. I wanted to go to parties and she wouldn’t let me.” “The idea of a boyfriend was a definite no-no as my mom believed I could only ever think about it when I got to varsity. My mom had a much stronger vision for my life than I did, so I deferred to her better judgement.” As we talk, she tells the story of a picture of herself when she was 1 year old girl. She always has that picture with her and looks at it whenever she needs to make a big decision in her life. She imagines herself saying nothing is impossible at that young age. She would then say to herself, “Look at you. You are as radiant as anybody else. You can do everything!” At varsity, while doing her degree, she was a very balanced individual. She was always busy and worked on the side to support her own lifestyle. Her mother did not approve of her working on tv as this interfered with her studies. She defiantly got work as a TV presenter, promoter and also started doing part time modelling work. Her mother, on seeing her passion, finally relented and approved of her choice of career and lifestyle. “In 2003, I got my first TV advertisement for Johnson’s pH5.5. I got to fly to Cape Town with Claire Mawisa, who was a top model then. I was happy to be pampered.” Babalwa remembers always being independent and responsible from the age of 14. She organised a student loan for her B Com Marketing studies. “I liked Marketing because I had learnt that it was about bringing ideas to life.” While at varsity, in 2004 she auditioned for a presenting job for a TV programme called Craz-E. She made it to the top 10 and got the job. She could now pay her own way. “From the age of 19, my mother didn’t need to give me money anymore. I was happy to support myself!” “I finished my degree in 3 years. I had made the right choices


at varsity and ensured that I studied all the time.” When she finished varsity, Babalwa met with the CEO of Intebrand Sampson who chose her out of 20 graduates to work for the company. Babalwa, however, found the 8am to 5pm life extremely tiring at the age of 20. “I enjoyed the responsibility though and even bought my first car at 20!” A year later she found herself retrenched and looking for a job again. She however still had her income from Craz-E and could sustain her lifestyle. She was advised to seek employment in an FMCG company as this is where marketing professionals cut their teeth. She subsequently politely declined the job offer with the ad agency. “I got into the Tiger Brands graduate programme. No sooner had I joined than I had a big idea which I just had to launch at some point in my life.” She decided there and then that she would give the work thing at least 2 years. “I was obsessed with attending strategic meetings at work in order to know how the business world works.” True to form, at the age of 22 she was itching to launch her business idea. After a carefully worked out business plan, she approached Kula Enterprise Finance and was approved for funding. “I had to quit my job to start my business. I spoke to God first to confirm if this was my destiny.” She heard a loud and clear voice saying she will be successful in her chosen path. This was the birth of Urban Glamour – the manufacturer of exclusive, quality handbags. At the age of 23, Babalwa opened a shop at World Wear shopping centre in Fairlands, north of Johannesburg. “When I reflect back on the decisions I took, I realise without a doubt in my mind that I was meant to be in business” she declares proudly. “I was never a corporate type confined to a 9 to 5 existence. I had to be larger than life.” As we prepare to leave I could not help but think of the picture she carries around of herself when she was a 1 year old girl. That young girl has done well and has made her mother proud. I feel honoured to have shared a few hours with this young dynamo of a woman. I feel energised and ready to pen her story for the rest of young girls in South Africa to be inspired by her story. As we get up, she declares “I am better off now that I run my own business!” For her age, she has done a lot to prove that self-belief and confidence, taught at a young age, is crucial to future success. It is thanks to her strong mother that South Africa has another entrepreneur we can be proud of. She has done it with grace and poise. She may be paddling furiously like a duck underneath, but on the surface, she does carry herself effortlessly in the eyes of the world. Her life is truly an inspiration.

Urban Glamour www.urbanglamour.co.za SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

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Inspiration with Tumi Frazier

Dare to be

real!

The world is full of women who seem to have it all together on the outside, but on the inside they are filled with doubts and insecurities. Many of us try to appear confident by wearing the “right” clothes, following the latest trends and associating with the “right” crowd, but in reality it is just an act. Many of us are afraid that if we are known for who we really are, we will not be liked, so we pretend to be what we are not. We spend money we have not earned, to buy things we don’t need, to impress people we may not even like. The media perpetuates this by inundating us with messages about our size, looks and what it means to be “successful”. Advertisements show youthful beauty, flawless skin, what is ‘in’ or ‘out’ out in the world of fashion, long silky hair and slim bodies. Then there are TV shows that showcase the homes of the rich and famous, where the perfect family or couples spend perfect nights in perfect matrimonial bliss, or so we’re led to believe. Not only do we feel the need to compare ourselves with people portrayed through media images, but also to those close to us, our sisters, friends and colleagues. If you are single, you look at your married friends and envy their lifestyle. Or you look at that friend who just bought a brand new luxurious apartment in an upscale suburb, financed by her high paying job, and you suddenly think you could never be that successful. Even if you are doing extremely well in other ways, you find yourself always lacking in some respect. The truth is, there is always going to be someone taller, richer, smarter, thinner and prettier than you. If you always compare yourself with others, you will never be satisfied with your life. You need to start regaining your unique sense of beauty and purpose. God created you to be a unique individual with special qualities and abilities. You are an original creation that can never be duplicated. If you do not accept yourself, you are in essence saying that God made a mistake by creating you the way you are. Accept and love yourself just as you are. A healthy concept of yourself is not about comparing yourself to others, pursuing perfection or pleasing people. It is about you discovering areas where you already excel or have potential to achieve greatness, and

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recognizing areas where you could improve. When you pretend to be someone you are not, sooner or later you will be exposed and you will lose all credibility. People may like the mask or the false front you put up, but this will never make you feel loved or accepted because what they like is not the real you. You can only be loved to the extent that you allow yourself to be known for who you really are. The reality is that you can only be your best as yourself, not by imitating someone else or following someone else’s standards. No one can be another Mother Teresa, Mirriam Makeba or Maya Angelou. These are or were originals and we do not need counterfeits. It is important to have strong role models and mentors who nurture and inspire your success. Model your life on people who have been consistent and real in their contributions as role models. Whilst many women may contribute positively to the building blocks of your character, learn as much as you can from their successes and failures, but stay true to who you are. For single ladies, believe that you deserve a great man. The person you should be with is a person in whose presence you feel most like yourself. When you have to give up part of yourself to be with another person you will always miss the part that you sacrificed in order to be together and you will eventually resent the other person for it.

When you don’t accept yourself you overvalue material things. Wherever you can be yourself is the place you are supposed to be, and this includes your profession. You can not be your best where you don’t feel like yourself. Your work should be about you. It should mirror your best and capture your purpose in this world. After all, your legacy will be based on who you are, not who you pretended to be. When you don’t accept yourself you overvalue material things. You base your identity on things that do not matter. Our culture encourages us to “be more” and to “do more”. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with achieving. The problem is when it takes over our lives. When your career becomes your entire identity, then you know you are in trouble. We often tie our identity to what we do for a living. Our definition of who we are is often based on what we do. When we meet a new person, we invariably ask, “so, what do you do for a living?” Is it surprising that suicide rates rose exponentially all over the world over the past three years due to economic recession? Job losses and financial loses contribute to a deadly mix of shame, hopelessness, loss of self image and identity, and as a result people choose to take their own lives. We have come to a point in this era where wealth and status are too bound up with self esteem. We forget that real wealth is not about money. Your wealth is based on authentic networks and relationships you have built, your character, reputation, skills and competencies. When you have these and God, you are able to start all over, anywhere you happen to be. On the other hand, if you have been rejected or abused in any way, seek help and learn to forgive yourself, and those who hurt you. Not so much for them but for your own sake. No one else can be you but you. So, Dare to be You.


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The low down from dr Eve

Authentic sexual living

Once upon

a time

Once upon a time girls knew who they were and boys knew who they were: girls were pretty in pink, unselfish, undemanding and ignorant about their genitals. No one bothered Once upon a time I believed that women’s liberation had to include genital showsucceeded and women were free to express themselves sexually and-tell during their potty and emotionally. training. Parents, families, That was in 1994, when we came out of the darkness of Apartheid teachers believed girls had with its legal control over who we loved, whom we sexed and where no right to know her “down we lived. I celebrated for the women of my country. I went live on there” as she was not a sexual creature. Boys were tough, rough and radio and had the freedom to speak about sexuality. frequently tumbling into their own genital play. Potty training taught I believed women could finally live authentically as sexually him to hold his penis and he was even applauded and rewarded for healthy, self loving women who could choose their partners and this action. His parents, families and teachers knew he would never love in good faith. And live happily ever after. need to let go of his penis, as he had the right to sexual pleasure. That was once upon a time. Today our love and sexuality looks a Is it any surprise that by the time a girl becomes a woman she little like this: As you read this story I invite you to see yourself, your struggles to own her genitals and claim her right to sexuality and authentic self. Identify your trigger points, those moments when sexual satisfaction? Is it any wonder that men believe that her you inhale and say to yourself: “Aah, that could be me!” I ask you to genitals are his to own? And what’s worse, women take on this be authentic to yourself. This is the only way you can begin to make same erroneous belief, and offer their genitals on a platter to these more considered healthy sexual and loving choices. men. Sometimes even surrounded by sushi A woman meets a guy online. She has been sexually abused Welcome to my column in FABWOMAN. Expect to be intrigued, as a child by her grandfather. It remains a secret. She carries the entertained and always educated. About your sexuality, sexual sexual and emotional scars. This leaves her unable to make healthy health, rights and love. We women love having the story of love relationship and sexual choices. They chat, flirt, begin having online interwoven into our sexuality. And no wonder. Research consistently sex whilst declaring love for one another. They share values: he shows that over and above all else, lets her know that he does not like a woman thrives sexually when her condoms and when he loves a woman, relationship to her self and her body he refuses to wear a condom. He asks is loving, and when her relationship to her if they can make a baby when they another is caring, considerate and kind. meet as he knows she wants children That makes us hot. Of course we can get as does he. She “forgets” to tell him she really hot with a stranger, a hook up, a is married and he avoids telling her that • Mirror - do a full body examination of shag buddy or an online chat. We have his girlfriend lives in another town. You yourself. Stand in front of the full-length come a long way… or have we? I ask you can see, the scene is set for disaster. mirror and critically examine and appraise to ponder on a few facts. Once upon a time there was no HIV/ yourself. Decide what you need to do to Once upon a time young women AIDS, only STD’s (sexually transmitted authentically accept and approve of your were chained in chastity belts to prevent diseases). Once upon a time violence body shape, facial lines, hair, clothing. men having access to their genitals, against women happened to “other • Mirror - do a private genital self pushed into corsets to emphasize their “women. People did not have to mess examination. This is essential for your slim waists and their breasts, and wore up “the moment” of sexual activity to own education. Imagine how much long skirts to hide their ankles. All this put on a condom and fear disclosing more power you will have over your was done in service to men. No thought their status. And people did not divorce own sexuality once you know how your was given to women’s sexual needs. nor did women cheat. People “worked” genitals look, smell, taste and feel. Women had to marry if they wanted sex, on their relationships. There was no • Consider whether you feel loved and fell pregnant as they did not have the internet to entice and seduce us out of loving, ie. do you receive and offer right to birth control and immediately everyday drudgery. kindness, care and consideration? lost their role as lover to their men. Today, living an authentic sexual and • Consider whether you feel free to express Once upon a time in the ‘60’s, women relational life requires a woman to be yourself, verbally, emotionally and also strode through the streets demanding courageous, confident and clear with sexually. their sexual and reproductive rights her intentions and desires. • Ensure you take full responsibility after the gay, lesbian, bisexual and I ask you: how do you want to live for your own sexual health by using transgender communities had paved an authentic sexual and relational life? contraception, knowing your status and the way for them. Oral contraception How do you, as a FABWOMAN, want most importantly, having an ability to became available and women shagged, to express yourself, in and out of your request your man to use condoms. because they could, and without getting bedroom? a reputation for being a “slut”.

Dr Eve’s guide to

authentic sexual living:

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Podiatry

Foot Problems Caused by High Heels A large selection of the population wears high heels for most of the day. According to podiatrists, chiropractors, doctors and physiotherapists, women who wear high heels most of the time are at high risk of developing a number of foot, back and neck problems. One can assist a client strike the balance between fashion and sensibility by giving good advice and education. Wearing heels can result in many conditions that could be avoided if use is limited or eliminated. This article will discuss four common conditions caused by long term high heel use. Conditions: High heels may cause one or more of the following conditions: • Back ache/pain • Achilles tendonopathy • Bunions • Morton’s neuritis What Causes Back Pain? When standing in high heels, the body undergoes a postural change, shifting the person’s centre of gravity forward. The back becomes arched and the chest and pelvis are thrust forward. In order to accommodate this new posture, the body undergoes joint and muscular adjustments. These adjustments typically cause pain in the lower back as the muscles attempt to maintain balance. What Causes Achilles Tendonopathy? The wearing of high heels results in the shortening of the Achilles tendon. This causes the calf muscles to contract and form the attractive muscle definition sought by heel wearers. However, extended periods of time in this position cause the tendon to contract and may result in discomfort and pain when the sufferer wears flat shoes. What Causes Bunions? A bunion is a bony prominence on the base of the joint of the big toe. The big toe is often angulated towards the second digit. Often high heels force the toes into a tight enclosed space which places this prominence under frictional pressure. This increases bone turnover locally causing the area to become more prominent and inflamed. What Causes Morton’s Neuritis? This is a condition when one or more of the sheaths surrounding the

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

nerves on the dorsal aspect of the metatarsals become thickened and inflamed. This usually occurs between the third and fourth metatarsals. High heels force the fore-foot into a close, confined space that is usually too narrow to comfortably contain it. This causes mechanical irritation of these nerves and is characterised by numbness and a burning sensation in the toes. Treatment The success of treatment is based largely on the client’s willingness to comply with advice. The main aim of treatment is to reduce the amount of time the client wears in high heels. • Analgesics: Paracetamol (Panado® tablets) may be advised to relieve symptoms by reducing the production of prostaglandins. Care must be taken to ensure the client has no allergies to ingredient. • Time: Encourage the client to avoid wearing high heels for extended periods of time and to wear flat, comfortable shoes at home or whenever possible. • Stretching: Stretch calf muscles throughout the day to discourage Achilles tendon shortening. • Education: Educating a client about the complications of long term high heels use may encourage the client to wear adequate shoes. Avoid a high heel with pointed toes. High heel wearers account for a large percentage of people complaining of foot pain. Good shoe-wear advice and education play a large role in preventing the conditions listed above. Article sourced from www.jessicaspence.co.za.


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Women in golf

A note

from the Physio

“Golf is a game of co-ordination, rhythm and grace. Women have these to a high degree.” Babe Didrikson Zaharias I am sure you have heard the old wives’ tale: “GOLF = Gentleman Only Ladies Forbidden”. This of course isn’t true! More and more women are taking up this exciting sport to either spend time with their partners, friends and clients, to take up a sport for health and fitness or simply because they like a challenge. The struggle with being a female and playing golf is that we all want to be able to hit the ball further. We also want to hit the ball consistently straight and accurate to get the ball into the hole in as few shots as possible. The problem with mastering this boils down to the complexity of the golf swing. You need two very important physical aspects: • Enough flexibility in the right areas, for example hips and thoracic spine • Stability in others for example lower back and pelvis, as well as the shoulder blade and shoulder joint Everyone is different and has varying amounts of flexibility and stability. It is important to assess the balance in the body in order to identify where the problems lie and what needs to be done to improve on this to avoid injury, and create a more efficient golf swing. What is the quickest way to start playing golf? Professional golfers, with their beautiful and efficient golf swings, make the game look easy. The golf swing is however very complex and technical in nature. The best way to start is to invest in lessons with a golf professional. There are one on one and group lessons available, so you can invite your partner or some friends to get started with you! This can be a great way of introducing you to the game. Starting with professional golf lessons will help you develop the fundamental skills required for a good golf swing and prevent bad habits from forming. Besides, a driving range is a good place to start hitting balls. You can’t lose any of them! What are the advantages of playing golf? There is no doubt that golf is a challenging and difficult sport, requiring patience and persistence. There are, however, rewards that keep you coming back week after week. The beauty and tranquillity of a golf course, in the company of friends, provides you with a clear mind and a much needed escape from everyday stress. There will always be that one fabulous shot, an amazing drive off the tee or a 15 foot putt holed that gives you that sense of accomplishment. Not only is golf a fun experience, but many a great business deal has been clinched on a golf course. Golf is a very

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

effective tool in providing a relaxed atmosphere for networking and deal making in the modern business world. Participating in Golf Days or taking a trip to a magnificent Golf Resort and Spa exemplify the pleasure and exhilaration that the game offers. What are the exercise benefits of playing golf? There are definite physical benefits of playing golf, including burning calories while walking. You walk approximately 7km each time you play! The golf swing is a full chain of events, utilising many muscles and joints throughout the body. All these muscles must act in unison to produce that great golf swing. It keeps your joints moving and your internal stabilisers working to support your body. These physical benefits contribute to healthy body functioning and can reduce the risk of heart disease, diabetes and obesity amongst others. There are great golf specific exercise programs that can be customised to suit what your body needs to function optimally and improve your golf swing. You are exercising while you are playing but you can also exercise in between to improve your game as a whole. What are some of the quick rules of golf? The rules of golf generally describe what to do in unusual circumstances and what penalties are involved. Booklets describing the rules can be found at Golf Clubs, Pro Shops and bookshops. Check out the “Women’s Golf South Africa” website home page for rules at http://www.wgsa.co.za.


Some common golf lingo to get you talking like a pro Handicap: A handicap system was introduced to enable golfers of different skill levels to compete against one another. In South Africa, ladies start on a handicap of 36, allowing them 3 shots more than par per whole. You have to be a member of a golf club or of Play More Golf to be allocated an “official” handicap. When you start playing better your handicap will become progressively less. Par: Each hole on a golf course has an allocated number of shots that an expert golfer should need to complete the hole. It is calculated by adding 2 putts to the number of shots needed to get to the green. Golf courses are comprised of par-3, par-4 and par-5 holes. If you hit one less shot than par, then you have made a birdie, 2 less you have made an eagle. However, if you hit 1 more shot than par, you have made a bogey and 2 more you have made a double bogey. Front 9 versus Back 9: A golf course is comprised of 18 holes. Your front 9 are your first 9 holes, followed by a meal at the halfway house. Then you complete the back 9 (last 9 holes). Short game versus long game: The short game consists of pitching, chipping and putting. The long game consists of your tee shot and shots from the fairway with the long range clubs, that is woods and irons. What essential golf gear is required for a beginner golfer? Firstly, you need a set of good beginner clubs. Using your husband’s or brother’s clubs isn’t going to work because men’s’ clubs are often too long, too heavy and the shafts are too stiff. Traditionally, women’s clubs have a flexible shaft, are shorter and lighter, which makes them easier to swing. There are also certain features on the head of the club making it more forgiving. The best way is to go for a club fitting with a golf professional and buy what you can afford. The Pro Shop provides a custom fit service, where qualified fitters can match a set of clubs to your body and golf swing. Alternatively, one can purchase a good set of second hand clubs at a very reasonable price. Golf attire isn’t essential in the beginning but there are stunning and trendy outfits on the market to make you look and feel fabulous! I would suggest that you initially get yourself a golf glove, comfortable golf shoes and a cap to protect you from the sun. Who are the top South African Female Professionals? South Africa is very privileged to have some top class female golfers playing on the European Tour, including Lee-Ann Pace, Connie Chen and Ashleigh Simon. The World of Golf is also very proud to have their own touring professional, Stacy Lee Bregman. The South African Women’s Open has reclaimed its place as part of the Ladies European Tour, where South African and international players compete for a total purse of R2.7 million! Each tournament has a different winning total, but any player who makes the cut wins a share of the money depending on where they finished on the leaderboard. What are the women professional golf associations available in South Africa? The association for female professional golfers in South Africa is The Women’s Professional Golf Association (WPGA). How do you qualify to be on WPGA? For a WPGA touring professional, you must be: • Female, 18 years and older • A member of a recognised Professional Golf Association

Amateur Golfers must have: • A handicap of 3 or less • 2 letters of recommendation from golf professionals or professional bodies • A total of 8 points accumulated according to specific tournaments won To be a teaching professional, you must have completed 3-year PGA of South Africa apprentice program. What are the top golf courses and driving ranges in the country? According to Golf Digest, South Africa’s top 10 golf courses are: 1. Leopard Creek - Malelane, Mpumalanga 2. Fancourt CC Links - George, Western Cape 3. Gary Player Country Club - Sun City 4. Arabella Golf Club - Kleinmond, Western Cape 5. Pearl Valley Golf Estate -Paarl, Western Cape 6. Blair Atholl - Lanseria, Gauteng 7. Fancourt CC Montagu - George, Western Cape 8. Royal Johannesburg and Kensington (East) - Johannesburg, Gauteng 9. St Francis Links - St Francis Bay, Eastern Cape 10. Wild Coast Sun Country Club - Port Edward, KwaZulu Natal The World of Golf is a fantastic driving range facility where you can practice all aspects of your golf game. There are a number of excellent golf professionals to give lessons. There is a fully equipped gym and Wellness Centre at the World of Golf. The team consists of Gavin Groves (Biokineticist), Theo Bezuidenhout and Boudine Pearce (Physiotherapist) who specialise in sports screening, sports injuries and rehabilitation, as well as spinal pathology and headaches! The team provides a vital service of keeping you healthy and strong, and contributes towards your better golf game! Short Biography: Nickname: Bo Favourite Golf Course: Zimbali – KwaZulu Natal Favourite Golfer: Ricky Fowler, Tiger Woods Lowest 18 hole score: 89 How I got into the game: Physiotherapist at CCJ Woodmead Degrees: BSc Physiotherapy, MSc Sports Physiotherapy Golf Fitness Experience: 3 years If you have any questions, seek advice or would like to make an appointment for assessment and treatment, please do not hesitate to contact me! Looking forward to working with you and helping you towards a great, injury free golf game! Yours in Golf, Boudine Pearce (Physiotherapist) Email: boudineh@gmail.com Websites: www.theworldofgolf.co.za/content/golfers-wellness-centre www.theworldofgolf.co.za/facilities/golfers-wellness-centre Contact Number: 011 545 8618 Address: Corner of Maxwell and Woodmead Drive, Woodmead

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Business Etiquette tips

Here are a few tips on

business etiquette

Etiquette is a very important factor in determining the success or failure of a business or a person. Phone Etiquette • When leaving a message keep it short, clear and simple. • Leave your name, company and telephone number along with a reason for the call. • Be a considerate cell phone user. Turn your phone to silent or turn it off altogether during meetings. • If an important call comes through, it’s best to ask if those around you mind if you take it. Excuse yourself. Business Dining Etiquette • Elbows should be kept away from the table top. Hands should always be above the table. • Place your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down. • Never reach across the table to pick up something. It is polite to ask for it to be handed down. • When you leave at the end of the meal, leave your napkin to the left of your dinner plate. • Eat lightly and avoid messy food • Be careful with liquor consumption • If you invite someone for a meal, you should pick up the bill. • Hold your drink in your left hand so your right is not cold and moist for handshakes. • When you have completed the meal, place your knife and fork across the plate. Some “Don’ts” while dining • Don’t put liquid in your mouth while you are still chewing. • Don’t chew with your mouth open. • Don’t talk with food in your mouth. • Don’t tuck your napkin into your clothing. • Don’t leave the spoon in your coffee cup or lick it after stirring. • Don’t lean back on the legs of your chair • Don’t reapply cosmetics at the table • Business cards should never be exchanged while dining. For Image Tips and Makeovers, please go to www. fabimage.co.za or email: info@fabimage.co.za

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Advertorial

Woman’s Day Breakfast event Sasria SOC Limited invited insurance industry women for breakfast on Wednesday, 08 August to celebrate Women’s Day. The event was meant to thank and spoil women and have a good laugh at the same time. We often take it for granted that we have to work hard and sometimes forget to enjoy the little things that life offers along the way. Sasria wanted to remind women in the industry that they are appreciated. Their dedication, care, love and smile earns them a relaxing time-off, even if for a brief moment. Sasria ladies hosted the event which was also attended by all the female executives of Sasria. The event was also attended by prominent women in the industry and by people who, in one way or the other, have contributed to Sasria’s success in the 33 years of its existence. The highlight of the breakfast was the realisation of common blunders that women make when they go shopping for clothes. Pontsho Manzi, an image consultant and editor-in-chief of Fabulous Woman magazine, was captivating in her delivery of what to wear based on individual body shapes. The morning felt really short as she had the ladies eating out of the palm of her hands with tips and advice on image management and dress sense. What a breakfast in celebration of women! Insurance women really rocked the morning away!

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Grooming

How to groom

your partner without being a nuisance

M

y mom used to say to me that I must be clever in situations where I am not strong. When it comes to dealing with men, this has always been my motto. If we want to be able to groom our partners, we as the women in their lives have to be aware of some hard facts. If your man thinks that you as his partner dress well, you have the advantage of credibility when it comes to dress sense. No one, not even a man’s strength, can resist us if they agree with what we offer them. A key consideration will be the games we play as women. Normally, emotional manipulation like whining, complaining, begging and crying will get us what we want. Men have a special secret radar that can detect this behaviour. The goal is to groom him without being a nuisance in order to circumvent the super sensitive male radar. As fabulous women, our role is to creatively flow into his male role of structure and influence him with grace. Under no circumstance can we attack his ego. Men see themselves as strong. We want the world to see what we see in our men too. This is exactly why we want to influence and groom them. To appear to the world in a way that they can live up to their potential. We want to support them in their leadership roles without undermining their strength. If you forget everything else you read, remember only this: “Do not make dressing him about him being wrong and you being right.” Undermining a man’s ego will make him believe you do not think he can do it by himself and that you do not trust him. If dressing him becomes a power struggle about whose choice of clothes he wears, you have already lost before you have begun. Think of your role as being the neck that supports and turns his head, instead of

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being the eyes in the head thinking you can make him look where you want him to look. The next step is to get him to like what you have chosen for him to wear. There is no one better than you to know what he really likes to wear. And maybe it is exactly what you do not want him to wear, but do try to pick at least one item he does like. Then start putting the outfit together from there. Pick his favourite underpants or socks if you have to and work your way into a full ensemble. I had a partner who used to wear very colourful clothing. I did not care for matching colours. After we got married, I bought just white shirts with different colour and style pants for him to wear.


How we do dress him requires emotional intelligence. The one thing that comes naturally as a woman! I suggest the following 10 tips: No matter what he chose, the colour combinations would always work. When it came to my boys, I made sure that their clothes were mostly navy, cream and white. In that case no matter what the nanny, who had little dress sense, chose they would look acceptable. At this time I completely bypassed any permission needed. Today’s men are different. They like to dress and have their own ideas. Chances are you know exactly what you want your man to wear. At a deeper level, we can choose to have spiritual integrity between our actions and values. Why not let him decide if he wants to play along, without expecting an outcome? That way there is no manipulation involved and your desire to dress him becomes a co-creation. It might even be fun. Remember who he is to you. He is your reflection in so many ways. Even your need to dress him is because you consider him an extension of what people think of you. When he looks at you, what he sees can reflect what he likes and dislikes about himself too. So remember to be gentle and come from a place of love. If all else fails, know yourself as a woman of substance and keep trying. Remember any man’s attire can be carried off with your approval in public. Even if it is only to say: ‘My man is so free and I am this confident about our relationship’ ... until he comes around. Look exceptional all the time and make sure you pass on the complements you receive to improve your credibility in the fashion department. Oh, and do let me know how it went. Written by Adele Green, coach and writer for beautiful women. Company details: Train your brain - conscious relationship Coaching & inner beauty assessments available. agreen@lifephilosophy.co.za or 083 679 2000 (Life coaching and Kinesiology since 2007)

1. Be sincere about your needs. Tell him how the clothes he wears normally makes you feel and why you want to groom him this time. Explain to him what it will mean to you if he allows you to let him appear to those he knows in the best possible light. Tell him that the reason you want to dress him is because he made his way to a leadership role and your only desire is to support him. 2. Express your needs honestly. Remember he has a super sensitive radar that will detect any manipulation. Only say what you really believe. If you are just speaking for the sake of pleasing him, he will know. 3. Be mentally present when you do this. Give it all the attention it deserves. Even if you temporarily need to block out the kids and give him all the attention. 4. Do it with a smile. He cannot resist you when you are beautiful and attractive. Get dressed first and look gorgeous. When he likes what you wear, it will give you the credibility you need for him to allow you to show what you can do for him. 5. Notice any resistance in his body language. Simply smile when he might disapprove and ask him questions until he can see the value in what you are offering him. 6. Imagine it is a game. You are seducing him and he is a man you don’t really know. Be very curious. Your questions will keep his busy mind occupied and interested in you. 7. Tell him you love him. And that you appreciate him letting you do this one thing.

Adele Green changes inner beauty routines for women through writing, coaching and presenting. She offers personal sessions, workshops and mentoring groups. She gave up everything searching for herself, from Peru to Hawaii, learning to open her heart. Adele knows that a vision of beauty breaks through obstacles.

8. Let him be proud to be your man. Admire him in the mirror. Need I say more? 9. Be quick about it and do not fuss too much. You do not want him irritated. Be prepared up front with what you will need and play it out in your head. Notice your own comments and keep it light. 10. Do reward him later, but tell him now. He will be waiting the whole time keeping his eye on you.

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

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Nothende Madumo

A life lived

M

in music

afikeng has been a source of musicians for the South African music scene for decades. It is not much wonder that Nothende Madumo also hails from these talented parts of the country. Born 28 years ago, this farm girl was raised by a Xhosa grandmother who also gave her the name Nothende. The arts were the first thing she got exposed to even before she could write when she attended an art preschool called Mmabana in the first 4 years of her life. At the age of 5, she got shipped from her idyllic farm life to live with her grandfather in Garankuwa, Pretoria, where she started school at Mpho Primary school. Besides a table and chairs, the only girly things she possessed, Nothende grew up as a tomboy. Her less than stable upbringing saw her moving back to Mafikeng at 6 to live with her aunt who introduced her to the TV and media world while working for Bop TV. Life was good then, with frequent events as a tag along with her famous aunt. Being an old hand in changing living arrangements, she found herself living with her grandfather again by Grade 3. As the stars would have it, she enrolled at the Loreto Convent School in Pretoria where music was part of the syllabus. From early on she enjoyed music and joined the choir while learning to play the piano. A certain Mrs Bateman, a music teacher, heard her sing during hymn rehearsals on Friday afternoon. The die was cast and she told her, “to show up for choir practice the following day and she was not asking for my permission! It was when I joined the choir that I realised that I had a beautiful voice.” She recalls fondly being heartbroken when Mrs “I now know that my purpose Bateman had to suddenly leave the in life goes beyond just writing school to tend to her ill husband. songs. I came into this earth to The music teacher who took over from Mrs Bateman stopped the choir lift people up. I came here to one day when she could not help but remind people about love. Lift notice an angelic voice coming from them up from dark place and a particular section of the choir. She show them the light.” offered to teach Nothende to play the guitar and piano. “Unfortunately, this was my last year at the primary school and I sadly had to leave without completing my music lessons” she recalls with a tiny tear in her eye. Her brush with music again occurred when she joined a small creative group in high school which provided an outlet to compose music and write lyrics. “The composer in me was awakened! I learned to write music and create melodies.” The rest of the high school experience was normal with Nothende participating in school committees, captaining netball team and also becoming a prefect.

“I knew I wanted to be a musician for a living after matric. However, my parents did not approve as they didn’t believe that it was a worthwhile career” she recalls. Nothende decided to enrol for a B. Com marketing degree at RAU on the insistence of her step father who wanted her to pursue an academic career. It

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was a difficult time in her life when she dropped out of RAU after just a year into her studies. To placate her parents, she enrolled with UNISA while trying her luck in Idols 2002. It was her voice that gave in on her and she couldn’t sing a note when it mattered. She was eliminated from Idols and soon tried out for Pop Stars where she got to the third round. She was told she lacked the “X-Factor” even though her voice was phenomenal. “I worked at the Market Theatre for a while dancing, singing and acting. I started bunking classes for six months. My parents didn’t know!” she recalls. “I found the performing arts to be exhilarating and liberating. I joined a group of kindred souls and hung out in a studio in Orlando West, and started my first music group called The Play Off. I entered every available competition!” It was during an on air competition on YFM that Unathi Msengana discovered Nothende and offered to introduce him to Lance Sterr of Ghetto Ruff Records after winning the on-air competition. After a whirlwind experience which culminated with the recording of the sound track for the Gaz’lam TV series, she was asked to choose a stage name as her song would be featured in the soundtrack. “I could not believe my ears when I heard the song played on radio. I was so happy!” she recalls. After collaborations with Kuli Chana, Amu and Proverb, she found herself engulfed by the celebrity of singing and as a 20-year old, she found herself vulnerable and ended up in the first traumatic episode of her life with the celebrity world pulling at her in all directions. During the time, she sought and found her biological father but lost him again in 3 months. She found herself in the nadir of her life and tried unsuccessfully to commit suicide. “This is when I realised

that I didn’t love myself. I needed to spend time discovering who Nothende really is without seeking affirmation from other people in my life”. Nothende poses for a moment to take in the emotion of this realisation. It is as if it was not long ago and the scars are still fresh in her mind.

“My family and friends suggested I seek professional help. As stubborn as I am I decided to go through the healing process by myself.” she recalls defiantly. The music kept her away from home often and ended up with late nights which put a strain on the relationship with her parents. It didn’t help that her step dad was not happy with her going behind their backs to find her biological father. She knew her father when she was younger. When her paternal grandfather passed on, she felt a void that she thought could only be filled by finding her father. “I was in a bad

space. I was in an abusive relationship. It was so bad that even when I fell pregnant, I miscarried. People whom I loved started dying, first a good friend and then my other grandfather.” She poses to regain her composure. “I just wanted to drink booze to soothe away my pain. When booze didn’t work, I took an overdose of pills in an attempt to commit suicide. It was then that my parents kicked me out of the house.”


after one of my performances that was aired on TV. I was so heartbroken I would go home and cry every day.” Nothende decided to go on a spiritual healing process and got rid of all the negative things and people in her life. She also changed her diet and finally found peace in herself and who she is. “I am no

longer moved by praises from people or negative comments anymore. I learned about real LOVE. The love I should have for myself. Everything is beautiful and nothing can move me now. It is the love that keeps me standing till this day. I started tweeting about love. I was teaching and learning at the same time,” she breaks into a laugh filled with relief. A tiny voice in her started telling her to read as much as she can. She became obsessed with healing her skin and discovered a much more forgiving world. Life started being fun and I learned so much about music. I learned how to communicate spiritually through my music. The stress was gone and Nothende realised that God was the only truth worth knowing and the greatest love worth finding. Although she doesn’t own a TV set in her apartment, she is never bored. “I enjoy music so much more. I enjoy the silence.

There is no dull moment in my life.” “I have simplified my life. With the clutter gone, there is now so much space for good things to fall into place in my life.” “I now know that my purpose in life goes beyond just writing songs. I came into this earth to lift people up. I came here to remind people about love. Lift them up from dark place and show them the light.” She starts singing her latest hit “Remember Love” which is currently receiving much needed airplay on the airwaves.

The healing process proved harder than Nothende anticipated. She was separated from her parents and also broke up with her then boyfriend. She realised that most of her relationships were unhealthy and painful. It was so bad that she thought about quitting her dreams of a solo music career until Lira asked her to work with her as a backing vocalist. “I learnt so much about performing during that time. When I found my feet again, I left Lira to go solo again with the help of Tshepo.” Although they liked her music, EMI, Sony and Gallo did not come through with a record deal. It was Kabomo who advised her to finish her album in 2010 on her own. “I was extremely happy since I was involved in the production of the album from inception until it hit the music stores.” She beams with pride as she remembers the experience. The album however was not marketed properly and Nothende struggled financially in that period. She stayed with a friend after she was kicked out of her home until she decided to go stay with her aunt. When her aunt couldn’t help her any further, she again resorted to staying with friends and slept on their couches throughout 2011. She was however happy that she was doing what she loved and always wanted to do. She then went online to release her next album. After good reviews in the UK and USA, and placing on charts in the UK, she was invited to perform at the Apollo in the UK. “I couldn’t go to the UK because I couldn’t secure a VISA”, she remembers sadly. “I struggled again financially and started having self-esteem issues. The stress hit and my skin had a terrible breakout. Twitter was abuzz with cruel comments about my skin

“Everything I do is part of my purpose. I recently studied numerology and am starting to understand astrology. I am becoming a master of my own mind and tuning in to nature. I am learning about colours in order to understand the energy that various colours bring into a performance.” She takes on a long deep sigh and declares proudly that, “I am no longer as concerned about the media and the music industry as I was before. I would rather be at home reading about life and doing research for projects I want to get involved in future.” Nothende believes that people pay too much attention to what happens on social media like Twitter and Facebook. These can also be used to motivate people and make people happy. We were all born with a capacity to love deeply and be happy. She now calls herself “wonder woman”. Nothende organised a well-attended “No Make-Up” event on youth day in 2012. The event was blessed and the light in that event could not be underestimated. “I now have healthy relationships with people. I know I am successful and the people around me are very supportive. Although I do not have a car at the moment, I do, however, feel triumphant. I released an album in August 2012 both locally and internationally. I also released a DVD which was recorder on the 16th of August at the SABC. Life couldn’t be better!”

“I want to make a difference in all my projects. I am in such a good space. I even sing and write better! As I leave the meeting venue at the Southern Sun Hotel in the Montecasino complex in Fourways, I can’t get the melody of the Nothende’s hit song “Remember Love” out of my mind. This is one lady who has found love of self and others in a way no one can take away. Nothende has been to hell and back, and she’s still standing! As we hug each other goodbye, I can’t help but feel honoured to have been given a tour into the life that almost never wasn’t. South Africa, a star is reborn!

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Events with a touch of humility

An interview with South Africa’s queen of fabulous events

Edith Venter

What is your purpose in life? My purpose in life is to help charity organisations raise money and be sustainable in their projects. What is your personal motto? It is to treat everyone that I meet with respect.

What’s your vision of a perfect society? It is a society where no child or animal is abused through violence or hunger. What’s your own definition of happiness? My definition of happiness is the ability to make a difference in someone else’s life in whatever way I can. What were your dreams as a child? Growing up I wanted to be just like my own mother. I wanted to be a good mother to my children and a good wife to my husband. Do you think you are living your dream? Even if I say so myself, I do believe I am a good mother. I have raised well-adjusted and disciplined children. On the dream of being a good wife, I am afraid you will have to ask my husband for his opinion. Hahahaha! What are your three most important values? The three most important values that I truly cherish are trust, honesty and humility (to always be humble). These values inform all that I do in my life. What contribution do you feel you are making towards improving our society? I do events as a business. Most of the events I help organize are aimed at raising money for charity organisations. I do believe that these events help to improve our society. Do you think there is enough unity among women in South Africa today? I personally believe we have come a long way but are nowhere near where we should be as women. I think we still have a long way to go in ensuring that women are united and support one another in our individual endeavours and pursuits. Do you believe in helping another sister? Always. I believe it is imperative that we each do that for the sake of our country and the course of women in South Africa. Do you believe the world would be a better place if women unite? It would surely be a better place. As a unified force, I believe that women would be unbeatable and very strong. Do you believe in meditating? If so, do you meditate daily? Yes, I believe in meditation. I call it ME time. I meditate every day without fail.

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What does being “authentic” mean to you? To me, being “authentic” is being honest with yourself and others, and being helpful to others in all interactions. It is about keeping the promises you make to others. What does integrity mean to you? Integrity is the core of who we are as human beings. If you do not have integrity you have nothing. What advice would you give to other women who want to do what you do or want to start a business? The most important thing is to make sure that you have asked for and received as much advice as you can before starting your business. Women need to know that nothing worth having happens overnight. It is always about hard work and learning the hard lessons that life throws our way. What is the most rewarding thing you have done for other women? I have personally made the lives of some of the women I have met feel worthwhile. So many women are abused mentally and physically. They need to know that they matter and that someone cares. Can you tell us about women in your life who have played an important role and what roles they played? The single most important and only woman in my life was my mother. My mother gave me the foundation I needed in my childhood to make sure that I stayed real and grounded no matter what life offered me. Besides your daily work, what are you passionate about? I am passionate about my children and my cats. We see that all your events have got charities that benefit from them. How important is giving back to the community? It is all there is. We all have to give back in order to help every person reach their true potential in life. Lastly, what does being “fabulous” mean to you as a woman? Being fabulous is living a happy life by choice. It is being able to go to sleep at night knowing you have done your absolute best. www.edithunlimited.co.za


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Inspiration with Professor Mamokgethi Setati

An interview with Professor Mamokgethi Setati, the first South African black woman to obtain a PHD in Mathematics education.

How she harnessed

the power of her passion!

What is your purpose in life? My purpose in life is to give hope to others by doing what I do, being who I am and standing for the truth. What is your personal motto? I strongly believe that love is better than anger. That hope is better than fear. And that optimism is better than despair. What’s your vision of a perfect society? It is a society where everyone focuses on serving others. As Simon Sinek says, “Serve those who serve others and they will serve those who serve others and they will serve those who serve others and together we will change the world.” What’s your own definition of happiness? Happiness is being at peace with others and with oneself. What were your dreams as a child? As a child I loved mathematics and even though I did not know what I would do with it. I just wanted to study it. I grew up at a time when career information was not as readily available as it is now, so I did not know about many of the careers in the mathematical sciences. Do you think you are living your dream? Oh absolutely! Dreams are of course not static, so the life that I have now is a 100 times better than the dream I had when I was in high school. At that stage being a professor was unthinkable for me, so it did not feature in my dreams. What are your three most important values? I believe in integrity, loyalty and optimism. I hate complaining and also hate people who complain about their circumstances when they do nothing to change their situation. It is easy to complain, to see why things are not what they should be. It is much more difficult to make things happen. I prefer to make things happen! People who complain never make anything happen. They don’t change anything. They just die quicker. What contribution do you feel you are making towards improving our society? My specific contribution is in the area of mathematics education. We have a great challenge in this country and we have to find solutions sooner rather than later. The challenges that we face in mathematics have to do with the fact that we are not producing enough matric students with the required mathematics grades to study science, engineering and technology at university. This has to do with resourcing in our schools as well as the quality of teaching mathematics. For South Africa to be on the path of advancement, every child must have the right to be taught by a highly qualified teacher of mathematics, one who is knowledgeable in content, understands how students learn and uses appropriate

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instructional methods. Every child must have the opportunity for a mathematics education required for an economically secure future. Socio-economic background should not limit future opportunities to learn mathematics. The one mathematics education project that I am leading and very proud of is the mathematics education chairs initiative. Its focus is to research sustainable solutions to the mathematics education challenges of our country. The project is funded by the FirstRand Foundation, Rand Merchant Bank, Anglo American Chairman’s Fund and the Department of Science and Technology. While the Department of Basic Education did not provide funding, they are a critical partner. They have played an important role in the conceptualisation of the project. They have also provided the list of schools that we work with in the project. We have appointed six professors to research the sustainable solutions and so far we are making good progress. I am hopeful that in 2013 we will be able to make public some of the results from the project. Do you think there is enough unity among women in South Africa today? I have received a lot of support from women in this country. My mentor is a woman and it is through the generosity of many other women that I am what I am today. Does this mean I can generalize and say there is unity among women in South Africa? No! Despite the support and mentoring I received, I have also experienced a lot of undue criticism and opposition from women in this country. The point is that women are human beings and human beings are complex and so it is not easy to make a general statement. My view is that we have enough unity as women of South Africa to move forward, take leadership and create new/different futures for our youth. Do you believe in helping another sister? Oh yes! There is a quite a few of them I am currently mentoring and several are on my adopt-a-learner project. Do you believe the world would be a better place if women unite? The unity of women is important for a variety of reasons. There is so much that we have in common and so many common challenges that we face. Do you believe in meditating? If so, do you meditate daily? I am a Christian and so I meditate on the word of God every morning before I start work. I have a Bible on my desk in my office and also on my headboard at home. I get to my office every morning at 6:00 and I spend the first 30 minutes meditating and being in fellowship with God. This is important for my day. I am sure you know the Setswana hymn that says “Lekunutu le Morena”. That is exactly what happens during my meditation time. I can open up to God, dump all that is troubling me onto Him and just bask in His glory, take in His greatness so that it can sustain me throughout the day.


What does being “authentic” mean to you? It is about being real, being true to who one is – warts and all, no pretences. We have to make peace with who we are (because that is not going to change anytime soon!) and focus on how we can make the most of it! What does integrity mean to you? It is about being honest, reliable and dependable. What advice would you give to other women who want to do what you do or want to start a business? Focus on doing things that you are passionate about. In that way whatever you do will never feel like work and you will always have the energy to do it. Never do anything just for fame or financial gain. Anything that you do only for fame or money is not sustainable. Always remember that there is no better way to gain respect and self-respect than through hardwork. Remember that you cannot short circuit the learning process, it takes time to get to the top and that is good because by the time you get there you will have learned all that you need to know in order to stay there. So focus on what you want, take your time to work at it and do not be in too much of a rush. Also know that on your way up you may run into critical and judgmental people, jealous people. People who may say you got to where you are because of who you are and what you are; or what you look like or who you knew when. It does not matter, brush it off. If they have a problem with you it is their problem not yours. Just shove your ego, put your head down and move forward. There is no better way to gain respect and self-respect than through hard-work. What is the most rewarding thing you have done for other women? I ran a very successful women in rural areas project a few years ago. I started this project in 1996 with 40 women in the rural village of Matamanyane in the Limpopo Province. The main aims of the initiative were: to create a co-operative venture which can generate sustainable jobs and income in rural communities; to build independence, self awareness and self esteem, restore human dignity and prepare participating women for the developmental challenges that they are likely to face and to promote sustainable rural livelihoods. The project was implemented through participative workshops that were run in two phases, personal empowerment and economic empowerment. The women started with a bakery and then they expanded into breeding chicken and planting and selling vegetables and fruits. In 2004 they went into collaboration with the youth in the village. As coordinator of the project I remained 100% involved only in the first year of the project and ensured that the women had full ownership of the project and community support. I introduced them to resourceful networks. I remain in contact with them and visit occasionally. In all the community work I do, I believe that it is important that the beneficiaries of the work are the owners of the work. I see my role as an enabler who makes available resources that people can use to reach their dreams and become self-reliant. While I have done many projects with and for women, this project was the most rewarding because it was the first time that I had an opportunity to work with a group of women, some of whom had no basic education. The experience was very rich – I gained a lot of cultural knowledge. This is by far the most motivated, organised and committed group of women I have ever worked with.

Can you tell us about women in your life who have played an important role and what roles they played? My mother is very important to me – she has served as an inspiration for me and a constant reminder that everything is possible if one puts one’s mind to it. She started her working life as a domestic worker and went back to school (standard 6) after getting married and with three children. I am inspired by her determination to get an education no matter the circumstances. The fact that she was never embarrassed about wearing school uniform and going into class with students who were much younger than her inspired me. So I went through school and university with a mother who was studying. She did her matric through night school after obtaining her primary Teachers Certificate (PTC). When we got our results she also got hers and so we could not afford to fail. Well, certainly I could not afford to fail. I knew that I had to do well. My mother kept on studying until she obtained her BA degree at the age of 58 in 2002. The year in which I obtained my PhD and just two years before she retired as a teacher. Her story is a story of resilience that serves as inspiration, reassurance and challenge for me. Besides my mother the two women I also admire are Dr. Mamphele Ramphele and Naledi Pandor. They are courageous and focused. Whenever I am in their audience I get wowed! Besides your daily work, what are you passionate about? I am passionate people, things and causes. When it comes to people I have to say the youth take first position for me. I love spending time with young people from different backgrounds. Some of them remind me of myself many years ago and others give me hope. When it comes to things – travelling, reading and gym are my best indulgences. I have been to all the continents in the world except the Antarctica. There are books everywhere in my house and I am addicted to audible.com. I go to the gym at least three times a week and I also make sure that I walk at least 10km a week. Community development is something that I love because it is a cause that involves the people that I love the most – the youth. I started an adopt-learner project in 2004 through which I provide financial support for the education of young people from townships who have potential in mathematics. You are the first SA Black woman to receive a PHD in Mathematics Education, how does it feel? Getting a PhD was a defining moment for me. I guess what made me happier was the fact that finally there was someone with a PhD in my family and in my township. I felt like I made my family and my township proud because they raised me up. I was surprised to learn that I was the first black South African female to get a PhD and that was in 2002! While I consider it a blessing that I was the one to break the mould, I think it is really sad that it only happened in 2002. Why only in 2002? Lastly, what does being “fabulous” mean to you as a woman? Being fabulous comes from within and it is manifest in how you come across to those around you, how they experience you and how you make others feel. It is that pep in your step, that sparkle in your eye and that glow in your skin. It is the caring that you give and the passion that you show. While it cannot be bought, it is, undoubtedly, noticeable to everyone around you.

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eyedoctor

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Careers

The

diseases, performs eye surgery and prescribes and fits glasses and contact lenses. Ophthalmologists complete: 5 years of medical school 2 years of internship 1 year of community service Dip Ophth(SA) (4 years), at least, of residency (hospital-based training) in the diagnosis and medical and surgical treatment of eye disorders.

What are the different professions in the treatment of the windows to the soul and our interpretation aides of the world around us? Our eyes are what enable us to make meaning in the world around us. Before you allow a medical professional near your most important organ, you must be aware of their purpose, qualification requirements and span of expertise in treating eyes diseases and visual disorders. There are essentially three professionals that provide eye care services, namely ophthalmologists, optometrists and opticians. While they all assist us in getting our vision as close to 20/20 as possible, it is important to understand what each of the “three Os” is qualified to do. Ophthalmologists An ophthalmologist is a physician (doctor of medicine, MD, or doctor of osteopathy, DO) who specializes in the medical and surgical care of the eyes and visual system and in the prevention of eye disease and injury. An ophthalmologist has completed a full medical degree (MBChB) and three or more years of specialized medical and surgical and refractive training and experience in eye care. An ophthalmologist is a specialist who is qualified by lengthy medical education, training and experience to diagnose, treat and manage all eye and visual systems and is licensed by a state regulatory board to practice medicine and surgery. An ophthalmologist is a medically trained specialist who can deliver total eye care: primary, secondary and tertiary (i.e., vision services, contact lenses, eye examinations, medical eye care and surgical eye care), diagnose general diseases of the body and treat ocular manifestations of systemic diseases. Ophthalmologists are different from optometrists and opticians in their training and in what they can diagnose and treat. As a medical doctor, an ophthalmologist is licensed to practise medicine and surgery. An ophthalmologist diagnoses and treats all eye

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Optometrists An optometrist is a highly trained eye care professional. Optometrists are primary are practitioners for most vision and ocular health concerns, and are trained to diagnose, manage and treat a multitude of visual health-related concerns, which include, but are not limited to the fitting and prescription of glasses and contact lenses, the diagnosis and treating (excluding surgery) of muscular abnormalities, treating minor ocular injuries, the diagnosis and treating of diseases such as glaucoma, and the diagnosis of others such as diabetic retinopathy. They perform comprehensive eye examinations and diagnose and treat many of the most common eye disorders, whether they are visual or physical. Optometrists complete: 4 year degree (B Optometry) Learners can also register for research-orientated Master’s (MPhil) and Doctorate (DPhil) degrees. Some institutions also offer an Advanced Diploma in Sport Vision. There are only 4 universities that offer the Optometry degree in South Africa, namely UKZN, UJ, UOFS and University of Limpopo. Opticians An optician is a technician who makes, verifies and delivers lenses, frames and other specially fabricated optical devices and/ or contact lenses upon prescription to the intended wearer. The opticians’ functions include prescription analysis and interpretation; determination of the lens forms best suited to the wearers needs; the preparation and delivery of work orders for the grinding of lenses and the fabrication of eye wear, the verification of the finished ophthalmic products; and the adjustment, replacement, REPAIR and reproduction of previously prepared ophthalmic lenses, frames and other specially fabricated ophthalmic devices. Opticians complete: N.Dip: Optical Dispensing (3 years) plus one year of approved salaries experiential learning. The optical dispensing course is available only at the Cape Peninsula University of Technology. Only 16 students are admitted yearly.


Beauty

Attirance natural cosmetics If you venture down Rivonia, in the heart of Morningside, you’ll stumble upon the upmarket Morningside shopping centre. Unique to this mall is also a few owner-run shops, such as Attirance; Attirance is one of those stores that draws customers in by the scent emanating from the door, and once inside, you are hooked!

This retail outlet in Morningside is the first Attirance store in South Africa. Internationally, Attirance products are sold in more than 45 different countries. Attirance International was inspired by the beauty of Provence (France), and their goal was to create natural cosmetics that combine expression of feeling beautiful and harmonious.

The French word, “Attirance” means “power of attraction” and Morningside shop stocks close to 300 unique products; hand-made soaps, bath bubble balls, several varieties of bath milk and bath salts, as well as essential and massage oils, salt and sugar scrubs, oils, creams, shower products, perfumes, candles and many more.

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Inspiration

The

Dynamic queen of luxury brands

S

he’s the person luxury brands want in their corner; a consummate professional whose personal and business philosophy hinges on her passion for the world of luxury and her commitment to professional service and excellence. Malherbe’s vision found its ideal expression in 2007 when she started VIVID Luxury PR & Marketing. The journey, however, began 15 years earlier when she graduated from Stellenbosch University with a BA Fine Arts Degree, boasting a speciality in Jewellery Design for which she won a SACDA Student Award for Jewellery Design in 1996. Her qualifications launched her into the retail space; paying her dues first as a designer for various leading fashion jewellery and accessories manufacturers and then, two years later, into a role as Merchandise Buyer at Truworths where she worked in departments as diverse as Formal Wear, Lingerie and, ultimately, Fine Jewellery. She soaked up two-and-a-half years of invaluable experience at the prominent chain, before prominent jewellery brand Shimansky snapped her up in 2001. Joining Shimansky at the early stages of its expansion, Malherbe initially started out in general management and retail management, where she helped launch four new stores. She quickly moved up the ranks and eventually found her niche in marketing, where she eventually rose to the position of Marketing Director. At the end of 2007, having put the Shimansky brand firmly on the map, the entrepreneurial bug bit as did her desire to branch out and work on other luxury brand categories. So Malherbe struck out on her own. It was a heady debut, and within 12 short months Malherbe was invited to speak at the first Luxury Marketing Summit hosted

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by Marketing Mix. VIVID Luxury had also attracted such high-end clients as Gucci, Jimmy Choo, Burberry, MaxMara and Gerard Darel. Today Malherbe still boasts some of these, and many other top names, among her clientele. Other coveted international and local brands soon followed, the likes of Bentley, Phoenix Private Jets, Patek Phillippe, Limeline Interiors and Boating World (who represents international luxury motor yacht brand, Fairline). More recently Val de Vie Estate, African Romance and Belvedere Vodka signed up for VIVID Luxury’s unique brand of service and expertise. Her hard work was finally rewarded when VIVID Luxury won a PRISM Award in 2011 for their Belvedere Vodka Campaign, VIVID’s first and only entry. Malherbe is down-to-earth about her success, focusing rather on the satisfaction she enjoys from doing something she loves. “I started VIVID because of my intense interest in and love for luxury brands and fashion,” she says. “Before I started my business, I spent a lot of time researching and studying all the top international luxury brands across fashion, jewellery, footwear and accessories. I studied their philosophy, brand proposition and image, logos, ad campaigns and seasonal collections. I wanted to offer a 360 degree marketing offering for luxury brands in South Africa.” Today she is proud to also share her luxury brand knowledge with emerging South African luxury brands. “It’s highly rewarding,” says Malherbe, who recently chalked up another first by hosting the first ever Veuve Clicquot Masters in South Africa in April 2012. Fabulous Woman Magazine caught up with this dynamic queen of luxury brands and quizzed her on her success and the state of the luxury brands market. This is what she had to say: 1. You are the founder of an award winning PR and Marketing Agency Vivid Luxury. What inspired you to start the agency? The idea that I could bring my own ideas to reality. When you work for an employer, you can’t always carry out your own vision. I had


Anina Malherbe, Founder and MD of VIVID Luxury Marketing

that unstoppable urge to go out and see my own vision come to life. Once I let go of the fear of not having a secure income, my vision had the opportunity to flourish. 2. How did you select the brands that you market and promote in South Africa? We select our brands based on their values, compatibility with our other brands (clients), and our ability to relate to them. We only handle brands that we feel we can get passionate about. Otherwise you can’t do the brand justice or really know their target market. 3. How did you convince the brands that you represent to entrust their brand to you in South Africa? Most savvy clients can see your passion, commitment and expertise pretty quickly. I was very determined in the beginning and was not going to take ‘no’ for an answer. After the first ‘big brand’ client, it only got easier from there. But passion definitely played a big role. 4. What challenges did you come across running the agency? I never knew running a business would be that hard. Luckily it gets easier and easier as time goes by. The hardest is dealing with issues that are not necessarily your core strength, such as HR, Finance, Legal and Administration. Not all of it is fun, but if you push through the hard and uncomfortable stuff, you will eventually get to the fun stuff! 5. What did you do to overcome those challenges? I had to toughen up quite a bit. Luckily I’m a very determined person, so that helped a lot. I think this is key in business, as well as perseverance and an unwavering willingness to learn. It is also important to keep your eye on the goal post!

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Interview

My

sister’s keeper

An interview with women in Sales, Begum and Yugashnee.

Yugashnee Naicker Regional Sales Manager Southern Africa, The Rezidor Hotel Group

Begum Mohammed National Sales Manager, Vodacom Business Services

What really inspires and engages you? I am inspired by an opportunity to learn new things and to do them excellently. I believe that if something is worth doing it is worth doing it well. What is the importance of being an authentic leader? The importance of being an authentic leader is in setting a good example for others to follow. This is especially important to our youth, the leaders of tomorrow. Our youth need authentic and principled leaders to look up to and to emulate. What is your biggest dream? My biggest dream is to meet Madiba. This is a man that the whole world admires. He is a man to whom South African society owes a debt of gratitude and whose very name inspires others to find the good in themselves. Such a man comes about once in a millennium. To meet him would be indeed an honour and a privilege. Are you a sister’s keeper? If yes why? My answer honest answers on self-evaluation would be no! I just believe that I do my siblings what they would do for me as well if the situation were reversed. My sister, however, vehemently disagrees. She offered to answer this question on my behalf in this way: “My sister is truly my keeper and that of all the people she knows. From a very young age she took up the lead role in our family. My mother was a single mother and worked almost seven days a week. Begum was the one who ensured all was well in the household. In January this year I was ill with an almost fatal illness, she paid for my hospitalisation and ensured that I got the best care available. She truly saved my life. Begum is a giver and she has a heart for people. She makes an impact in people’s lives in a very big way. She is very efficient and her word is her honour. She has a humungous heart. She truly is a phenomenal woman.” Put this way and without much protest, I am best advised to accept that I am indeed my sister’s keeper.

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What really inspires and engages you? I am mostly inspired by my parents. They worked extremely hard and succeeded against all odds to achieve their goals and brought us up in a manner that today makes me proud. My parents are strong, strict, yet loving and caring. They were relentless in encouraging us to read books. I became a member of the local library at a very young age and became an avid reader. As a person who likes facts, I read mostly non-fiction. My parents instilled in me a sense of family and the importance of doing things together as a family. I would like to do the same one day when I have my own family. I get really inspired when engaging with bright people. I absorb information like a sponge and am always eager to learn something new all the time. What is the importance of being an authentic leader? Authenticity as a leader is the core of who you really are as a person. A leader is someone who is trusted in their community and is living their life with honesty and integrity. It starts with how you run your own affairs and those of your household. Everyone is a leader. It is important to know that your role is to mould behavior and not impose decisions. As an authentic woman leader, it is about using our sixth sense to influence people around us. What is your biggest dream? My biggest dream has always been to open up my own soup kitchen. The soup kitchen will not be for just offering a shelter or a meal but will be geared towards offering basic life and educational skills to the youth. The youth of today are the leaders of tomorrow. I believe that each one of us has a duty to ensure that our future leaders are well rounded and grounded individuals with a strong sense of community and responsibility. Are you your sister’s keeper? I’m most definitely my sister’s keeper. I have taken on the responsibility of nurturing my niece. Even though I’m meant to be the cheerful aunt, I have taken on the role of a sister to her. My niece has moved in with me. I’m grooming her into becoming a responsible woman. It is hard work taking care of a teenager but with a stoic personality, I’m certain I can do this. We have open conversations about everything in life and I advise here wherever I can. However, my main priority is getting her to complete her studies and to become a responsible young lady. She has a part time job over the weekends and this way she manages her own money and pays for the things she wants to purchase. I like playing the role of leader at home and influencing rather than imposing my decisions on my niece.


Enjoy. Radisson Blu Hotel Sandton, Johannesburg Situated in Africa’s most affluent square mile and ideally located in Sandton, the up-market business and shopping hub of Johannesburg. This stylish hotel offers 290 guest rooms and 12 exquisite fully equipped Penthouses all with spectacular views of the Sandton skyline. Experience successful meetings in our state-of-the-art meeting rooms with complimentary high-speed Internet access and 100% Guest Satisfaction Guarantee. Discover a unique dining experience at Vivace Restaurant, enjoy an invigorating work out in the 5500m2 Platinum Planet Fitness Centre or relax at our elegant outdoor swimming pool and Amani African Spa for an ideal retreat. All you need for an unforgettable lifestyle experience...

+27 11 245 8000

radissonblu.com/hotel-johannesburg


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Carrol Boyes takes pleasure in launching her most stylish leather range yet. The softest grey and black bovine leather has been sourced for the creation of these exquisite handbags, wallets, purses, business card holders and organizers. Handcrafted and embossed with elegant detail, these accessories will add an unmistakable iconic luxury to any wardrobe. The unique embossed patterns that set these leather items apart echo many favourite pewter and aluminum pieces in Wound Up, Quicksilver and Pebble designs. View them now at selected Carrol Boyes stores throughout South Africa.

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Inspiration

What my single mother The

current affairs queen

Sihle Nyamazana, 22, Flagstaff, Eastern Cape. Community radio current affairs show presenter and part of the LoveLife team.

“I forgave all those who wronged me and I thank The Lord for wanting to build a strong being. My parents got separated when my mother fell pregnant with me. They stopped talking after that. I now know who he is, but he wants nothing to do with me. I was raised by a single parent, my mother. In the process of growing up I was sexually abused by family and neighbours, and raped at the age of eight. Currently I’m working at a community radio station in Eastern Cape, doing the 12-3pm show. It’s a current affairs show which also focuses on raising awareness. I’m also part on the LoveLife team, and we conduct talks at schools locally. When my mother gave birth to me she was already independent. Due to work, she kept relocating and was not around much. This taught me independence but also meant that I was raised mostly by family members. I was about three or four years old when the molestation started. I grew up thinking it was part of the growing process when a family member would sneak me into wardrobes, toilets, bedrooms and all these secret places to have sex with me. Other males from my neighbourhood also joined in. When I was seven, I moved to Durban to live with relatives. It was in Durban that I was raped at the age of eight. I told the people I lived with, but I got a beating for causing problems with the neighbours. I never told my mother, neither did I blame her, as she worked really hard and I was taken care of financially. Growing up, all my needs were met. It all came out in 2003 when my mother found out that the family member was molesting my other siblings. When she confronted me about it I denied that anything had been done to me. My mom said, ‘you know you can talk to me about anything, and I would never judge you. If something did happen, know that you were the victim, so whenever you ready you can tell me’. Mom wanted the family

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member in jail, but all I wanted was peace because there was anger, and sides were taken. It all hit me when I was doing my tertiary education. I got really depressed. In 2008, after my second unsuccessful attempt at committing suicide, the love I received from my everyone made me realise that I am loved. That’s when I started seeing all the hurdles as blessings. I forgave all those who had wronged me and I thanked The Lord for wanting to build a strong being. I changed my mindset and I told myself that what happened in the past will only set me back. In 2009, however, after I started working at the community radio station and we were encouraging people to voice their issues during the commemoration of the ‘16 Days of Activism’, I decided to be interviewed myself. I first consulted mom and she said if that was going to help me heal then I can go ahead with the interview. That’s when I revealed, for the first time, that I was also raped. My mother has taught me independence. She’s a no-nonsense person who doesn’t need anybody to complete her. That made me the strong person that I am today. Everything I have been through has made me realise that I actually have a best friend in her. My mother instilled in me my self-worth, and never rushed my healing process even though it exhausted her financially with my visits to a psychologist. I want young men and women to know that you don’t need both parents in order to become something. The love I received from my mom was more than enough. Appreciate what your parents can offer and work hard to make her/him proud one day. Be considerate, loving and appreciative. Every day I wake up and look at the good things in my life that bring so much happiness. I’m just always on a natural high, and I believe my mother, my mind and My God, have everything to do with it.”


taught me. Two Women share how growing up with a single mother did not stop them from becoming a success. By Deepa Naran.

The

multimedia princess

Allegro Dinkwanyane, 22, Johannesburg. Founder of Orgella Entertainment. Allegro followed her mother’s advice to follow “Even before my parents divorced, my father The most important thing my mother taught her heart, defy the odds had given up on being a father. I was 12 when me? A strong woman can be both a mother and and never let anyone my parents divorced and my father stopped being a father. Throughout our lives she always advised pity her. a father to me and my siblings altogether. My mother me to follow my heart, work hard, defy the odds and took on all the responsibilities. I went from ‘daddy’s no matter what, I should never let anyone pity me. The little girl’ to ‘mommy’s little princess’. After the divorce my look of pity in someone else’s eyes is to her the worst thing mother wanted nothing from him. She just walked out with any human being trying to survive can endure. It makes you absolutely nothing but her kids, dignity and a degree. She put vulnerable and exposed to exploitation by those ‘better’ than her fears aside, and for the first time in her life she went job hunting you. In order to avoid it, work hard and never think that you can with the degree that she had never utilised until then. do it alone. Put God first. This is the power that has allowed me My mother sacrificed everything. Her pride, her youth, her to accomplish everything I have so far. I am the founder of Orgella money. Putting three children through university was not easy but Entertainment, PR and Communications, Manager at Geobek she did it out of love and continues to instil an attitude of hard work Entertainment, a blogger, an intern at BBC in Johannesburg and an in all of us so we have the chance to become better. Growing up, on air personality for UJFM. my life was pretty good. Our family had its ups and downs like any My mother’s outlook on life changed the way I look at life and other. My mother hid her problems very well. After finishing my how I mould my own. Her faith in God made me an even greater matric I went to study journalism at the University of Johannesburg. believer. The love she continues to show me, my sisters, brother, Although I had other male role models in my life by way of uncles niece and nephews has taught me just how important family is. Her and my brother, there was a point in my life where I felt the need always positive, never-give-up attitude has made me fight and work for some sort of validation from a close male figure or close friend. harder for my dreams. I don’t need to look any further for a success Having my male best friend say ‘I’m proud of you’ and genuinely story with humility and love. She is it. My mother is living proof that mean it brought me to tears because he was filling the void that second chances exist and that strong women are capable of being my father had left. Those are the words the ‘daddy’s little girl’ in me both mom and dad and do it better. She’s everything I have and I live longed to hear from my own father but never did, and never will. to make her proud.”

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Décor

Décor by WMI: www.wmi.co.za

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Décor

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Chef Feature

Our Fab Chef:

Jodi-Ann Pearton Jodi-Ann graduated as the top student form Silwood Kitchen in 2005 • She was selected as the youngest ever member on the National Culinary team • In 2006 she represented South Africa at the World Culinary Olympics in New Zealand where she won the gold medal in the Junior individual competition • In 2007 she achieved another milestone by working under the incredible Thomas Keller at his flagship 3 star Michelin restaurant, The French Laundry • In May 2008 opened the doors of her brain child, The Food Design Agency cc • The Food Design Agency together with PR events, food shows, The no fry zone on 94.2 FM and presentations at conferences has given JodiAnn the platform to become a household name • During the past 4 years, Jodi-Ann has won every competition on the continent, including all 5 of South Africa’s Chef of the Year titles, Junior, Senior, Team, By Invite Only and the most prestigious of all the Sunday Times chef of the year. The Food Design Agency HO and Studio: Unit 19 / 20, Stepping Stones Garden Village 283 Honeydew West, Johannesburg, Gauteng, 2040 PO Box 1188, Lonehill, 2062 Tel: +27 83 327 5814 Fax: +27 86 617 5166 E-mail: info@fooddesign.co.za or jodi@fooddesign.co.za Twitter: chefjodes Facebook: The Food Design Agency

Here are some of Jodi-Ann’s recipes: 82

FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012


Seared Scallops with a hazelnut vinaigrette served with a pickled cucumber mat, madumbe and vanilla puree, snoek pate & a celery and port jelly salad

ingredients:

equipment:

Seared Scallops: 8 fresh scallops 30ml oil 10g butter salt & pepper 16ml black lump fish caviar 8ml lemon zest 8ml 6 day old celery micro greens

Pots, Pan, chinoix

Hazelnut vinaigrette: 8 toasted hazelnuts, skinned 60ml hazelnut oil 40ml white wine vinegar 2ml smoked salt 2ml ground black pepper Madumbe & vanilla puree: 350g madumbes, peeled 1L chicken stock 80g butter 1 vanilla pod Pickled cucumber mat: 1 cucumber, peeled 70ml spirit vinegar 50ml vegetable oil 30ml sugar 15ml cumin seeds, toasted 10ml salt Snoek pate: 200g fresh, un-smoked snoek 100ml full cream milk 1 bouquet garni 1 carrot, chopped roughly 1 rib celery, diced 1 onion, quartered 30ml olive oil 2 spring onions, di-cut Salt & pepper Port jelly: 500ml port 60g sugar 2 leaves gelatine Celery Salad: 2 ribs celery 20 small rosa tomatoes Âź red onion, brunoise 30 coriander micro greens

serves 4

method: Seared Scallops: 1. Heat a non-stick pan and add oil and butter 2. Sear the scallops on a high heat for approximately 2 minutes per side until just cooked through Hazelnut vinaigrette: 1. Chop the hazelnuts and mix all ingredients together, season well and set aside Madumbe & vanilla puree: 1. Chop the madumbes and boil gently in the stock until completely tender 2. Drain the vegetables and retain the stock 3. Place the soft madumbe into a chinoix and pass it, scrape the vanilla seeds into the puree and then correct the consistency with the retained stock 4. Season well Pickled cucumber mat: 1. Cut the cucumber into long strips discarding the seeds 2. Cut the strips into blocks approximately 5cm x 2.5cm 3. Mix the vinegar, oil, sugar, salt and spice together and pour it over the cucumber 4. Allow to rest overnight to pickle Snoek pate: 1. Poach the snoek in the milk with the bouquet garni and stock vegetables 2. Once cooked remove the fish and chop gently until a fine pate forms

3. Mix in the spring onion and season well. Port jelly: 1. Mix the port and sugar together and reduce by half 2. Sponge the gelatine in a little water and add to the hot port mixture 3. Pour into an oiled tray and allow to set 4. Cut out perfect squares Celery salad: 1. Peel the celery 2. Use the peeler to remove long thin strips of flesh from the ribs, blanche these then place them in ice water 3. Cut the remaining celery on the dias 4. Peel the tomatoes ASSEMBLY: 1. Place the celery ribbons, di cuts, tomatoes and jelly together on the plate to form a salad, garnish with coriander micro greens and dress with hazelnut dressing 2. Lay 3 pieces of cucumber onto the plate with a little pickling liquor 3. Set the scallops beside the cucumber and top each with 2 ml of lumpfish caviar, a little lemon zest and 2ml of baby celery micro greens 4. Quenelle the snoek pate and madumbe puree and set beside the scallops, season well 5. Dress the scallops and plate with hazelnut dressing. 6. Serve SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

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Seared venison back strap and venison bobotie with a beetroot & pomegranate salad, cumin spiced butternut puree, seasonal South African beans, spiced morogo sphere and a Cape Shiraz jus

ingredients: Venison back strap: 400g venison back strap, cleaned 30ml vegetable oil 2.5ml juniper, ground 2.5ml cumin, ground Venison Bobotie: 1 slices white bread 250ml milk 1 onions, chopped ½ apples, grated 30g butter 15ml curry powder 450g venison offcuts minced 15ml chutney 60g almonds, chopped 30ml raisins 15ml vinegar salt & pepper 2 eggs 2 bay leaves Fruit Chutney: 200g dried fruit 120ml sugar 120ml water 120ml vinegar 2ml mixed spice Beetroot & Pomegranate salad: 4 baby beetroot, roast whole 1 pomegranate 15ml olive oil 20 beetroot micro greens Cumin spiced butternut puree: 300g butternut, peeled & cubed 30ml vegetable oil 30ml cumin, ground 70g salted butter Seasonal South African beans: 80g dry red kidney beans 80g dry white beans 200g fresh broad beans 140g fresh soya beans 100g fresh green beans 4 bay leaves ½ onion 1 carrot 2L chicken stock 2 bouquet garni’s 80g butter

84

20 20 45g

red mustard micro greens rosemary leaves butter

Spiced Morogo: 200g morogo, cleaned 400ml chicken stock 1 onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, chopped

15ml 2ml

masala powder nutmeg

Cape Shiraz jus: 2L venison stock 750ml cape shiraz 1 cinnamon stick 120g butter salt pepper

equipment: pans, pots, chinoix, stick blender, silicone moulds, drum sieve

serves 4

method: Venison back strap: 1. Brown the meat in a hot pan then rub on spices 2. Roast at 180C until rare, rest prior to slicing Venison Bobotie: 1. Sauté the minced venison. 2. Soak the bread in the milk. 3. Cook the onion and apple slowly in the butter until soft but not coloured. Add the curry powder and cook for a further minute. 4. Mix the apple and onion with the meat, chutney, almonds, raisins and vinegar 5. Squeeze the milk out of the bread, reserving the milk, and fork the bread into the meat. Season with salt and pepper and place into non-stick moulds 6. Place in the oven at 180C until a slight crust has formed about 10 minutes. 7. Meanwhile, mix the eggs with the milk in which the bread has been soaked. Season with salt and pepper. Pour this over the meat and bake until set Fruit Chutney: 1. Place the sugar, water, vinegar and spice in a pot and dissolve gently 2. Add the fruit and cook until thick and sticky Beetroot & Pomegranate salad: 1. Julienne the beetroot and season well 2. Remove the pomegranate rubies from the fruit and mix with the beetroot, season well and mix with the beetroot micro greens Cumin spiced butternut puree: 1. Drizzle oil over the butternut and sprinkle with cumin 2. Roast at 200C until tender 3. Pass through a drum sieve, mix butter into the puree Seasonal South African beans: 1. Soak the dry beans in separate bowls over night

FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

2. Place 2 pots onto the heat and add 1L chicken stock, ½ carrot, ¼ onion, 2 bay leaves and 1 bouquet garni into each pot 3. Bring to the boil and then add the beans (cook variants separately) 4. Cook until tender and then drain 5. In a large pot of boiling, salted water blanche the broad beans, soya beans and green beans 6. Slice the green beans at an angle then add all beans together. 7. Heat butter & rosemary. Sauté beans gently. Finish off with mustard micros Spiced Morogo: 1. Blanche the morogo in chicken stock 2. Sauté the onions, garlic and spice in a pan 3. Drain the morogo and slice roughly 4. Add morogo to the onions and garlic and sauté gently 5. Cool completely and then roll small balls, wrap them in cling film and leave overnight 6. Sauté in butter to reheat. Cape Shiraz jus: 1. In a good pot reduce the port by ½ add the stock and cinnamon and reduce again by 2/3 2. Finish the sauce by mounting it with butter and seasoning. ASSEMBLY: 1. Warm all components 2. Place a bobotie on the plate with a dollop of chutney next to it. 3. Place a morogo sphere onto the chutney 4. Place a tear drop of butternut puree onto the plate and full with beans 5. Slice the meat and lay 3 slices next to the bobotie 6. Top the bobotie with beetroot and pomegranate salad 7. Sauce the plate and garnish with appropriate micro greens 8. Serve


Flourless chocolate and ground maize torte with a white chocolate and naartjie semi-freddo, three citrus salad and candied hibiscus flower stuffed with a poached strawberry

ingredients:

equipment:

Flourless chocolate & maize torte: 3 eggs 100g unrefined sugar 300g butter 400g 72% dark chocolate 110g cocoa 110g fine maize meal 30g cocoa, additional White chocolate & naartjie semi-freddo: 2 egg whites 120g castor 200ml mascarpone 200g white chocolate 2 leaves, gelatin 2 naartjies, zest 5ml mixed spice 30ml honey Three-citrus salad: 1 orange (flesh and zest) 1 madarin 1 grapefruit 60ml van der hum 60ml stock syrup 4g mint Chocolate sauce: 180g 72% dark chocolate 100ml cream Blueberry coulis: 200ml blueberry pulp 220ml stock syrup Candied hibiscus flower: 4 hibiscus flowers 200ml stock syrup 55ml liquid glucose 55ml raspberry concentrate Poached strawberry: 4 strawberries 250ml hibiscus syrup Candied Zest: 1 Citrus zest, peeled 200ml stock syrup 100g castor sugar

lamington tin, ring moulds, non-stick mat, chinoix

serves 4

method: Flourless chocolate & maize torte: 1. Whisk the eggs and sugar until fluffy 2. Melt the butter and chocolate together then add to the eggs, beating continuously 3. Mix the cocoa, salt and maize meal together then fold this into the chocolate and egg mixture 4. Pour into a lamington tin and bake at 170C until just set 5. Once cooled dust with cocoa and slice White chocolate & naartjie semi-freddo: 1. Melt the white chocolate and then cool it slightly, then mix it into the mascarpone 2. Mix the mascarpone mixture and naartjie zest together, sponge the gelatin and then temper it with a little mascarpone mixture. Add it to the mascarpone 3. Whisk the egg white and sugar to a thick meringue 4. Mix the meringue mixture into the mascarpone mixture 5. Pour into oiled ring moulds and freeze until service Three-citrus salad: 1. Segment the citrus and cut each segment into small pieces 2. Pour the van der hum & stock syrup and zest over the fruit and allow it to infused Chocolate sauce: 1. Melt the chocolate and cream together to form a sauce Blueberry coulis: 1. Mix the blueberry pulp and stock syrup together and then cook it gently for 4 minutes – do not boil 2. Pass it and place it into a squeezie bottle

Candied hibiscus flower: 1. Mix the stock syrup, glucose and concentrate together and heat gently 2. Remove the stamens of the flowers gently and discard 3. Place the flowers into the syrup and simmer gently until they become translucent. Sterilise a jam jar and gently pour the syrup into the jar followed by the flowers 4. Store in a cool place Poached strawberry: 1. Turn the strawberries and then poach them gently in syrup from the candied hibiscus jar 2. Gently remove 4 flowers from the jar and pry open the petal, place the turned strawberry into the centre of the flower Candied Zest: 1. Peel the zest off a naartjie and remove all white pith 2. Julienne the zest and blanche it in stock syrup 3. Once the zest is removed from the syrup toss it in castor sugar and then lay the julienne onto a nonstick mat on an oven tray 4. Bake at 80C until crisp ASSEMBLY: 1. Slice the chocolate tart whilst warm and lay a slice onto a plate, top with 5ml of chocolate sauce 2. Place a little fruit salad in front of the torte and garnish with mint 3. Place the hibiscus flower at the tip of the torte and then place the semi-freddo behind it 4. Top the semi freddo with a few pieces of citrus, mint and candied peel 5. Garnish the plate with a few drops of blueberry coulis 6. Serve

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World Leisure Holidays Competition

WIN A TRIP OF A LIFETIME FOR 2

with World Leisure Holidays!

The all-new Ambre Hotel looks exactly like your secret beach holiday dream. It is expansive beachfront, endless ocean, natural tones and infinite breathing room. The hotel itself is a wellbalanced mix of arty design and simplicity, making it ideal for the traveller who seeks calm with a hint of vibrancy. The natural surrounds of the Ambre Hotel form the perfect space for a beach vacation, because the blue-green-blue belt of sky, palm trees, ocean and quietly luxurious rooms inspire relaxation. They’re a steadfast reminder that you’re on holiday.

Sig

86

hts

to b

ehold

and adven

FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

tures to be enjoye

da

tur y r e v te

n...


WHAT YOU’LL WIN: A trip for two including: • Return flights to Mauritius • 7 Nights accommodation at the 4 star Ambre Hotel in Mauritius • Return airport transfers • Breakfast and dinner daily • All non-motorised water sports • Evening Entertainment

HOW TO ENTER: Answer one simple question about World Leisure Holidays on www.fabulouswoman.co.za Entries close 31 January 2013.

The prize does not include domestic flights, airport taxes, travel insurance and meals not specified. Prize is valid from 01st March 2013 to 01st March 2014. World Leisure Holidays standard terms and conditions may apply. Travel Smart Program SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

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Passion Meets Purpose

Touching

Young Women’s lives

Wendy

Dikgole

Thobile

Mkhwanazi

Wendy Dikgole, the founder of It’s a ladies thing Movement.

Thobile Mkhwanazi, founder of Tops Motivations

A 24 year old, dynamic young woman who realised that her life was about serving people.

Tops Motivations was conceived through Thobile Mkhwanazi wellknown as Tops a dynamic, selfmotivated zealous woman. She is an Inspirational Consultant, Speaker, Writer and MC. Tops Motivations is committed to making a difference, creating positive change and playing a significant role in the transformation and the emancipation of women empowerment and ‘feminine equality’ in South Africa through its unique projects and associations.

Its a ladies thing host workshops, motivational talks, financial fitness seminars, mentorship programmes to groom and teach young women about life skills. For events, please email w.dikgole@gmail.com

Thembalihle

Mosupye

Thembalihle Mosupye National Project Manager: FabGalz Foundation FabGalz®’s mission is to uplift and empower women and girls from Grade 10 onwards from all backgrounds with skills to harness the power of dreams, life plans and the projection of the appropriate image for their desired destiny. FabGalz® seeks to inspire young women to aim much higher than their current circumstances in the belief that life is indeed fabulous in spite of their personal history. For partnerships and sponsorship, please go to www.fabgalz.co.za.

For bookings: Tel: 072 602 2925

Email: Thobile@thobilemkhwanazi.com

Twitter: @Topsdiva

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THE MARION ON NICOL Boutique Hotel of Distinction

Tucked away in the peaceful, leafy suburb of Hurlingham, in Northern Johannesburg, one finds The Marion on Nicol, a newly established five star Boutique Hotel. Situated just off William Nicol Drive, this magnificent hotel, offers its guests luxury accommodation in a tranquil and relaxing setting. Close to renowned shopping centres, such as Hyde Park and Sandton City, as well as being less than 30 kms from both OR Tambo International and Lanseria airport, the hotel is in a perfect location for both businessmen and tourists. The Marion on Nicol strives to offer its guests a completely unique and totally unforgettable experience. From the moment that you walk through its magnificent glass doors, you know that this is truly a boutique hotel of distinction. From the plush, rich carpets and gleaming tiles to the enormous glass windows that look out onto the lush, sprawling gardens and sparkling pool, everything about the hotel is magnificent. The reception area, like the rest of the hotel is luxurious and tastefully decorated, while at the same time warm and inviting. Stunning artwork adorns the walls, including an unusual piece of our former president, Nelson Mandela. At present the hotel offers guests a choice of 25 rooms. All rooms situated on the ground floor are

decorated in earthy, green hues, while the upstairs rooms are all decorated in calming, blue tones. Each room, however is very distinctive from the next, with different fabrics, textures and decor being used, thus allowing for each room to be completely unique. All of the upstairs rooms have their own private balconies, with stunning outdoor furniture, and provide the perfect place to enjoy a cup of coffee, or a sundowner, while overlooking The Marion’s perfectly manicured lawns. One of the outstanding features of this boutique hotel is the size of both their rooms and bathrooms. All of the rooms are incredibly spacious and luxurious, with large double beds (all of which are extra length), workstations, wall mounted LED screens, an electronic safe and fully stocked mini bars. They are also equipped with all of the latest state of the art amenities including WIFI, wireless internet access and high speed broadband, ideal for the businessman who needs to stay connected. The hotel also houses a gym area and exclusive, executive spa. The spa, which is open to both guests and non-guests, is the perfect place to unwind and pamper yourself. There are 4 treatment rooms available, including a stunning outside treatment room, as well as a range of

different treatments to choose from. The hotels restaurant, which can seat up to 50 people, offers guests the opportunity to enjoy fine dining at its best. The incredible new menu has been receiving rave reviews from all of the guests, a visit to the restaurant is highly recommended. Guests can also enjoy high tea (served on Saturdays and Sundays) on the hotels terrace. Upmarket conference and boardrooms are also available, with the largest being able to accommodate 30 delegates. With the overwhelming success of the hotel during its first two years plans are in place to expand this stunning hotel. Construction is already underway, with the aim of building some extra bedrooms, another restaurant, as well as extending the already magnificent gardens. Immaculate furnishings, luxurious settings and unparalled attention to detail, ensure that a stay at this five star boutique hotel will definitely not disappoint. Cnr Stirling & Hamilton Roads Hurlingham, Johannesburg Tel: +27 (0)11 783 7816 Fax: +27 (0)11 783 6278 E-Mail: reservations@mariononnicol.co.za www.mariononnicol.co.za


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Dream wheels

DREAM

The New Porsche Boxter Lighter and more fuel-efficient, faster and more agile - with an all-new lightweight design body and completely revamped chassis, the latest generation of the Boxster is setting new top scores for Porsche Intelligent Performance. Considerably lower weight, a longer wheelbase, a wider track and larger wheels significantly enhance the mid-engine sports car’s driving dynamics yet further, already far and away the best in its class, supported by the new electro-mechanical power steering. As an additional boost to driving dynamics, Porsche offers the Sport Chrono Package as an optional extra for the Boxster, featuring dynamic transmission mounts for the first time. Also new in the Boxster is Porsche Torque Vectoring (PTV) with mechanical rear axle differential lock.

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WHEELS

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Relax

A weekend

away

at the 5 star luxury hotel… The Bay Hotel, Cape Town.

No less than four hotel pools with expansive sun decks offer superlative views of the Atlantic Ocean and majestic Lion’s Head. Renowned as a haven for romantics, leisure is our catchword, from rejuvenating spa treatments to the convenience of our unique cocktail bar or beachfront café. And for the ultimate in relaxation, we recommend our cigar lounge and bar with breath taking views.

Breathe deep... exhale slowly and rediscover fun. Float into blissful relaxation while enjoying our exceptional brand of hospitality!!

www.thebay.co.za

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Feature

For the love of pets Happy Tails is an exclusive doggy day care facility for dogs of all ages, shapes & sizes located in Fourways, South Africa. Happy Tails understands that every dog is special and deserves personalised care to cater for their unique needs. Every dog receives the highest quality day care experience because Happy Tails knows that your dog deserves the best! Happy Tails’ mission and promise to every dog owner who entrusts their pooch to the staff, is to provide a Pets-Safe certified environment of the highest quality for dogs to play and socialize with other ofriendly dogs, under the care of experienced professionals. The key benefit of sending a dog to daycare is the physical and mental stimulation that each dog gets by being with other healthy and socialised dogs in a secure, controlled and loving environment. Every dog owner can have peace of mind knowing that when their dog is left at Happy Tails, they are in a safe environment that is enriched with fun and learning. Some dogs visit every day; others just a couple of times a month. Every dog is unique and Happy Tails is happy to discuss the best play schedule to suit every dog’s needs, as well as the owner’s busy schedule, budget and life-style. The facilities are specially designed to accommodate a variety of canine personalities. Anxious or shy dogs will find the experience stress-free and comforting. Active and spirited canines will enjoy making new friends and burning off the energy during frequent romps in the spacious and secure garden Laura Whittaker and Nicole Badenhorst, founders of Happy Tails

Whether a dog is full of PUPPY POWER, experiencing their TERRIBLE TWOS, into their GOLDEN YEARS or perhaps a little BIG-BONED, daycare holds many benefits. Happy Tails day care is just the place to take your treasured pet and family member.

www.happytailsdaycare.com SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

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Décor

yeah

Retro office pieces by

www.yea-h-furniture.co.za

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Décor

Shop 9 Lifestyle Centre Ballito, KZN Tel: 032 946 3522 www.OriginsLifestyle.co.za (We distribute nationally)

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Subscriptions

FABULOUS

woman

E M B R A C E

Y O U R

MAGAZINE

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D R E A M S

Dear Fabulous Woman reader Join our quest to unite women. Embrace your dreams by subscribing to Fabulous Woman Magazine and you could win one of 10 Ice Watches to the value of R990 each. Editor-in-chief and Managing Director

Pontsho

Subscribe

TO FABULOUS WOMAN AND WIN ONE OF 10 ICE WATCHES WORTH R990 EACH

R99 FOR 4 Issues!!

IT IS SO EASY TO SUBSCRIBE... Choose one of the following options and get your Fabulous Woman copy now! Subscribe online at www.fabulouswoman.co.za or email subscriptions@fabulouswoman.co.za EFT OR DIRECT DEPOSIT Payable to Bonisa Media Bank: Nedbank Branch: Broadacres Dainfern Branch Code: 13280500 Account Number: 102 654 6214 Ref: Your surname + cell no Fax proof of payment to 086 552 1389. Terms and Conditions: Prize offer valid until 31 January 2013.

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Twitter: ice_watch_sa Head Office: 011 783 8310

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Relationships

The other

woman

Who is The Other Woman?

Funny to say, the other woman might just be someone you know, like, appreciate and adore, she might be your close friend, your very confidante, or your neighbour, and even in some cases, your own sister or domestic helper. What makes her do it?

No-one sets out to be the other woman. The normal young girl dreams about her prince finding her and together living happily ever after. Love shattering experiences in the course of life steal something from this innocent young love hopeful, whether by her direct experience or those she observes from those around her. Her trust is shattered. Having been disappointed too many times, she no longer believes in true love. She has fear of commitment. She has seen her mom being cheated and hated that, and has sworn to herself she will not allow herself to be put in that position. She has good morals, yet her resistance let her down. She may have low self-esteem, feeling her beauty, virtue and who she is, are not worth offering therefore not sufficient to get her the love she deserves. So she is willing to settle for less than the best, she has been in a marriage that did not work out, and is determined (consciously or unconsciously) not to get married again, yet she needs male companionship. The scenarios go on and on, as there are many diverse reasons why well-meaning women end up being the other woman. Yes, there is also the other woman who is mean, aims to hurt, and intentionally separates a man from his family so he can come to her. She may have been cheated on herself, so unconsciously she is looking for revenge but the dynamics are basically the same. At the root of such motivation, is a little girl who was let down, hurt and disappointed. There are of course benefits of being the other woman. Others go into it for material and financial gain. Married men feel the urge to make up for or quiet the guilt of their non-committed/nonavailability status by showering TOW with gifts and money. It’s a way of assuring themselves that they are needed. She is bound to enjoy this.

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What she means to him? While he makes her feel like she is the better one over his wife, who is often demonized as Lady Dracula. The truth is that she is nothing more than an outlet. Fact is, a marital relationship has cycles, when the hormones have subsided, and practical realities of building a home, raising children and taking care of the bills hit home, and these can take a toll on a relationship that is neglected. I stress, on a relationship that is neglected. It ought not to be so when both parties are fully committed and have not neglected the work of keeping their relationship relevant and fulfilling. When this happens, one of the partners, in most cases it is the man, goes out looking for an alternative to excite himself, to give himself the false illusion of a love relationship that is sustained by hormones that trigger the feeling of ‘falling in love’, the same feeling he experienced


at first with his now wife. The other woman becomes an escape from dealing with his reality, an escape from taking responsibility in building excitement into his marriage. An escape from taking the leadership role in the family and creating a marriage he promised his wife, and honouring that commitment. Often, he has no plans to leave his wife and family, but is simply looking for that escape. What keeps him coming back is the feeling he gets when he is with the other woman. The By Omphile Sebitloane fact that he has no responsibilities except of being there and having his manhood reinforced or being reassured that he is still a man. He may further sustain this relationship by lying to TOW, that he is a getting divorce, but the timing is never appropriate. The reality is that men who cheat get away with it because TOW is often needy. While their own reasoning tells them that he is lying, they are inclined to feed their neediness, and to give in to their feelings rather than follow logic and their values. If you are in this situation, have been with him for over two years, and he is still leaving his wife, it may be time you re-evaluated your position. He keeps coming back to you because, as the saying goes, ‘stolen waters are sweet’, the thrill of having this secret relationship fuels the excitement attached to it. However the fact remains, TOW is but an escape. The Down Side He may never leave his family. If you are looking for commitment, you may be just wasting your time. By the time you realize it is time to move on, the work of picking up your life will be insurmountable. It is not easy to just pack up, end it and move on. Depending on your moral values, you may not fully enjoy the relationship, and may have to bear with constant internal conflict of being riddled with guilt for going against your values. Particularly if you know his wife! The fear of being discovered and of breaking a meaningful friendship that has stood over the years might cripple you. You have to live with the heartache of knowing that you may not be with him at times when you most need him, like during family gatherings. The frustration you will experience when you need his company but he is with his family. The jealousy you feel when he does things for his wife. All these can slowly damage your own perception of love. In the long run, your perception of love will be perverted to a point where this becomes normal love for you. You end up being unable to sustain meaningful relationships with men who are available.

How the real woman feels? She is often the last to know, so of course she feels betrayed, hurt and belittled. She is the one who has to pick up the dirty socks, has to keep his integrity together, his family together and still offer him sex. His betrayal may be painful, but perhaps not as painful as the betrayal of the ‘sisterhood’, especially if the other woman is someone she knows. ‘The Sisterhood’ Relationships involving the other woman may lead to some form of confrontation in one way or another. Sad to say, this is often between the sisters instead of the sisters confronting the man who is the betrayer. Women could do better for the sisterhood and for society, if they could put their collective energy towards teaching the man (i.e. if he lied about being married) some lessons on commitment and responsibility, instead of fighting each other. Of course, some men don’t lie about their marital status because they know that there are sisters who are quite happy to steal from another sister. What women don’t realize when they do this is that they actually make him feel like he is a worthy commodity. His arrogance shoots up and he sees no reason to make any changes in his life. The result is that it is the women who remain with scars, and may continue to hurt each other while he ‘has his cake and eats it’. Thoughts to Ponder By law, social thugs are arrested for going against societal norms and stealing what is not theirs. I know these scenarios may not be exactly the same, but there are similarities in my mind. What do you think society should do with love/ marriage thugs (both men and women) who break up families? What should society do with marriage thugs who create conditions of escape instead of encouraging married people, especially the men, to take up leadership in their homes? Where does this leave young men of tomorrow? Who do they have for role models if we as the women who raise them help perpetuate the cycle of non-commitment and unfaithfulness by being prepared to be the other woman? Yes they say one person cannot change the world, certainly one woman cannot change this societal ill that has probably been around as long as the institution of marriage itself. But the world could change from the collective actions of individuals, and it could start with you! Certainly, society could be a better place if more and more women resolved to never be the other woman, at an individual level. After all, women power has contributed to many social transformation agendas. The Future? If you are TOW, take a good look at your situation and ask yourself a simple question: Are you REALLY happy with being the other woman? Yes some may answer this in the affirmative, for whatever reason, but perhaps for hopefully many others, this could be time to re-examine your motivations for being in this relationship, be honest with yourself and ask yourself if this is how you really would like to spend the rest of your life. When he has settled himself back into his family, or has found another new love (because often they do), are you happy to start all over again? What are your fears, disappointments, and hurts that you have not dealt with that may have landed you in this relationship or pattern of relationships, is it perhaps time you did some work on yourself, for yourself, to heal, be true to yourself and your values? Every woman deserves and is worthy of love, and so do you, but the question is DO YOU BELIEVE IT? Do you have the courage to love yourself enough to seek only that which is best for you and is meant for only you? SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

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Interviews

Her Majesty…

The Queen...

E

DJ Zinhle

Ever self-effacing, this rural girl from KwaZulu Natal has come a long way to the heady heights of the South African house scene and the dance floors of elite clubs around the world. From using candles and fetching water as a young girl, arguably the best part of her life, this beautiful African woman is not lost in the bright lights of Jozi where she now resides and does her work. We meet up Zinhle to talk about her life, her career in the music industry and most importantly what inspires and gets her out of bed every morning. She lights up when she talks about her childhood and her primary school life in the rural part of Zululand. Her family moved to the suburbs when she went to high school! This queen of the dance floor was always reserved from primary school throughout her schooling career. She laughingly remembers being ‘very in love’ in high school where she had her first boyfriend. As it was a boarding school, she thrived in an environment where she was fully responsible for herself away from her teacher parents. She made sure that she made the right decisions as a young girl and was always careful never to disappoint her family. Fast forward to Johannesburg in 1999 when she visited her brother, she got exposed to the house music of DJs Oskido and Fresh and the bug hit. Zinhle wanted to be as good as them! She never dreamt she could be as good as them but with help from her brother she learned deejaying skills. She doubted her skills as a DJ. Even though DJ Fresh gave her a promo slot on YFM, she still went looking for a ‘proper’ day job. She joined the South African Breweries (SAB) as a sales representative after seven interviews! Such tenacity and strength of character would later bode well for her career in the music industry! Zinhle’s weekend slot on YFM, a regular gig on SABC 1’s Jika Majika and her club gigs under the wing of DJ Oskido started making her more money than her sales representative job at SAB. It was very stressful for her to keep the work schedule and pursue her passion on weekends. Even with the support of other popular DJs like Vinny Da Vinci, Black Coffee and Oskido in 2007, she still did not believe that she was going to make it big as a DJ. With a very supportive and proud brother and a more than gentle nudge from Oskido, she was finally persuaded to quit her day job as a sales representative. Incidentally, in her last days at SAB, she was given an award for ‘person most likely to be famous’. Yet again, the self-doubt bug hit and she thought that people were just making fun of her and brushed the award aside. Oskido assured her that she would be able to sustain herself as a DJ and that quitting will get her to focus on her craft. Zinhle’s stature and celebrity grew even though she did not have an album. Club patrons knew her and the regular house DJ slot on Jika Majika put the word out that a queen of the dance floor was in the making. “My life never changed financially after I resigned from SAB. I was never broke.” she states confidently. Her star was on the rise and nothing could stop her purpose and

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I believe that being a DJ is my calling. It is my purpose in life.

passion. When she got paid out her benefits from SAB, she used the money to start a DJ school in response to many calls she was receiving from a lot of girls and their mothers who were requesting help with learning DJ skills. Although people charge for such services, the DJ school that Zinhle runs is a non-profit initiative aimed at giving back to the youth of South Africa. This is exactly what drew this magazine to this fabulous woman in what is predominantly a vain and money driven industry. What kind of a person will take her hard earned pension pay out money and open a school to teach other girls to follow in her footsteps? A fabulous woman no doubt! “I believe that being a DJ is my calling. It is my purpose in life.” She started her DJ school in 2009 and has todate seen 100 girls graduating. As part of the school, she also launched a mentoring programme where she takes one of her students and travels with her to all her gigs for exposure. Her latest track called “My name is” made it to the top 5 nationwide, receives regular airplay and is a hit on all club dance floors. This star of a woman is inspiring while being honest and grounded with a girl-next-door demeanour. As a parting shot, we asked her a few questions in typical Fabulous Woman Magazine style about her passion and drive for success. This is what she had to say.


What keeps you grounded in this crazy and sometimes superficial industry? My brother keeps me grounded. There are two separate parts of me, DJ Zinhle and Zinhle. DJ Zinhle is a brand I have created and have come to appreciate as it pays the bills. And then there is the same Ntombezinhle that my family and friends know who has not changed much. What do you value in life? I place a very high value on happiness. Do you think there is unity amongst women? No, women pull each other down all the time!! It is a sad reality. How do you remain feminine in a predominantly male dominated industry? By branding myself appropriately and staying true to myself as a woman.

What do you think makes you fabulous? My friends! We call ourselves the ambassadors of laughter. I love simplicity. My work makes me fabulous because I am doing what I love without competing with anyone. I am running my own race. Any future plans, babies? I am in love (she smiles as she starts glowing) and I find my partner amazing in many ways. But no plans with regards to babies as yet. I still have a lot of work to do in my own career, the girls I mentor and my DJ school. I am taking it one step at a time. It is encouraging to still find gems in the music industry and this makes me believe that all is not lost for future generations. There are people who still care about the well-being of this beautiful country we call home and are prepared to invest their time and money to help others realise their dreams. I end the interview inspired by this diva of the South African dance floor. Big up sister and keep representing! DJ Zinhle, take a bow!

Q&A with business woman

Ipeleng

What is your purpose in life? I want to leave a legacy for generations to come. What’s your vision of a perfect society? For me, a perfect society is one characterized by classlessness and higher levels of education What’s your own definition of happiness? It is a deep sense of contentment with self and one’s achievements

I want to leave a legacy for generations to come.

Mkhari

What were your dreams as a child? I wanted to be successful like my mom. Do you think you are living your dream? I think I am getting there. There is still a long way to go. I’m VERY grateful for everything that I have. What are your three most important values? I value respect, humility and leadership Do you believe in helping another sister? Yes. I try to help another person every day. I especially believe in helping other women.

their business idea. They should have self-belief about their concept/business. More importantly, they must know that nothing comes without hard, hard work for people who want to be successful. What is the most rewarding thing you have done for other women? Giving time to a young woman who feels lost and overwhelmed is always rewarding to me. Can you tell us about women in your life who have played an important role and what roles they played? My late grandmothers (maternal & paternal) played an immense role in shaping my views on life and giving me the true meaning of my role in and contribution to society at large.

If you weren’t a business woman, what would you choose to be? I would be a stay-at-home mom. Family is very important to me, so an opportunity to raise my children would be about the best career I would have chosen if I wasn’t in business.

My late mom was also a phenomenal woman who was way ahead of her time in almost everything she did. She was a humble, servant leader with real character and finesse. I look up to her example in everything that I do to this day.

What advice would you give to other women who want to do what you do or want to start a business? My advice to other women would be to make sure that they plan properly, be prepared to make sacrifices and have confidence in

Besides your daily work, what are you passionate about? I am passionate about my 3 beautiful daughters. I am also passionate about the development of women, especially black women, in business and as leaders of their destiny. SUMMER 2012 • FABULOUS WOMAN

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FABULOUS woman FW

My journey to success

- it’s your time to shine!

Shalom and greetings in this first edition of Fabulous Woman! Oh what a privilege indeed to share with you some of the fundamental principles that have assisted me in my journey to success. I am humbled by this opportunity and sincerely hope that together we will grow and inspire each other to achieve all the things that God designed for our lives. This is yet another fulfilment of my own calling i.e. to use my pen and my voice to change lives! This being the first issue, I would like to simply introduce an overview of what this page will seek to achieve. Allow me to start by emphasizing that I am not a motivational speaker. I prefer the term inspirational speaker, because my aim will always be to inspire you, to ignite something from deep inside you, to poke you to stand up and shake away any laziness, sense of defeat, fear and worry about people’s opinion of you. I would seek to inspire you to take calculated risks, to dream more, to strive to be a person of excellence and lastly to know that, with God on your side, nothing is impossible.

achieve their goals because they are scared of what people would say, what if I fail…. You are a legitimate heir and a beloved child of the Most High. Human beings, no matter their positions and titles, have temporary power, but they will die just like you!

My success comes from 8 things

Take it to God in prayer Speak to God about your dreams, fears and aspirations. Communicate with your FATHER in the morning, during the day, anytime. God’s telephone is always open for you, and never engaged. In 2012, don’t give up, this is your year. PUSH!

My source is God and God alone! For me, before I embark on any task, I seek counsel from God. If He says YES, then I know He will provide, and protect me in whatever I am doing. This assists in times of trouble and when the plan seems to go off the rails. I always know that the match is fixed! Most people don’t achieve their goals because they rely on people’s opinions for affirmation. I don’t, and that is so liberating! Hard work I matriculated from St Francis College, in Mariannhill, and our school motto was ORA et LABORA which means work and pray! This has been my guiding principle ever since. You don’t just pray and hope all will be okay. There is no substitute for hard work. The Bible says, God blesses the fruit of our labour. So if you want to succeed, work and pray. Don’t live according to other people’s expectations If you really want a fabulous and glorious life, then it’s time to train yourself to listen to God alone. Yes, we need guidance from some people, but do not make them your yardstick. A lot of people can’t

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Value time To have a fabulous life, you must understand the value of time. If you want 2012 to be your year, start now to respect and appreciate time. Commit to being on time for class, for church, meetings etc. My team knows that I always emphasis that every person must make “every hour count”. Let me tell you the secret of success: everyone has 24 hours in a day, but some achieve much and some achieve nothing in each day. It all depends on how they use their time! Determination and perseverance In my book ‘PUSH! You are closer than you think’, I emphasise being determined and to perservere. There is a song that says “Nobody said the road would be easy, but I don’t believe God has brought me this far to leave me”. That’s the spirit. Stand, no matter how hard it gets, and remember that joy will surely come in the morning. Check your friends and associates! Who are your friends? What if I told you that some of the people who are very close to you are not moving in the same direction as you? You have to let go of some relationships, because some people will hold you back.

P - Pray U - Until S -Something H -Happens! We will deal with all these items in detail from our next issue. For now, go out and represent! Be fabulous and glorious! Lastly - Christian women are allowed to look fabulous too!!!! Yes ladies, in the column we will talk about looking fabulous, feeling fabulous whilst being glorious! Catch Zanele on SABC 1 every Sunday afternoon 17h30 Khwezela with Zanele Mbokazi. To buy books or speaking engagements go to www.zanelembokazi.com, 031 303 3520, Twitter@mbokazizanele


New Wheels

New four-cylinder diesel engine gives the ultimate in driving efficiency Diesel engine: four-cylinder CDI available for the first time in the luxury coupé segment Efficiency at the highest level: this is the common characteristic shared by all engines used in the MercedesBenz CLS. All of the engines feature increased performance and torque compared with previous models, while at the same time boasting significantly reduced consumption and CO2 emission levels. Setting entirely new standards for efficiency in the luxury segment is the CLS 250 CDI BlueEFFICIENCY. Available for the first time in the four-door Coupé segment, the fourcylinder direct injection diesel engine has already enthralled customers of the E-Class, C-Class and M-Class models. With an output of 150 kW, a top speed of 242 km/h and a full 500 Nm of torque, it provides complete driving pleasure, yet will astound you when filling up with its consumption figures comparable to those of a compact car: on average the CLS 250 CDI BlueEFFICIENCY uses between 5.1-5.3 litres per 100 km, which is equal to CO2 emissions of 134 g/km. In addition to optimisations in the powertrain the CLS 250 CDI BlueEFFICIENCY is fitted with the enhanced 7G-TRONIC PLUS automatic transmission as standard and the sophisticated ECO start/stop system helps to ensure extreme efficiency even when driving in urban traffic.

Mercedes B 200 Natural Gas Drive Saving the environment and your wallet: the Mercedes B 200 Natural Gas Drive The B 200 Natural Gas Drive is the first B-Class model to make use of the “ENERGY SPACE” modular body concept: a partial double floor beneath the rear seat bench creates space to accommodate one large and two smaller natural gas containers, holding a total of 125 litres of natural gas (corresponding to approx. 21 kg). Thanks to this intelligent packaging method, the five-seater model is able to retain the generously proportioned luggage compartment for which it is known. In natural gas mode, consumption of the 115 kW (156 hp) B 200 Natural Gas Drive is just 4.2 kg/100 km – corresponding to CO2 emissions of 115 g per kilometre. As a result, emissions are around 16 percent lower than those of the B 200 BlueEFFICIENCY with petrol engine, which offers equal performance. The new model belongs to efficiency class A and meets the EURO 6 emissions standard, which is not due to come into effect for all petrol-engined vehicles until 1st September 2014. But the model not only spares the environment – it is also good on the wallet: converting the consumption of the B 200 Natural Gas Drive into the energy equivalent of petrol, the price per kilometre comes out at around 50 percent lower than the fuel costs of driving a petrol model. The B 200 Natural Gas Drive is celebrating its world premiere at the Paris Motor Show and is optionally available with manual transmission as well as the 7G-DCT dual clutch transmission. It is due to arrive in dealerships at the beginning of 2013.

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Gardening

Grow your

own Herbs

The rewards of growing herbs are far greater than with other plants. Other plants in the garden are mostly planted for their decorative value. Herbs, on the other hand, can also be used for a myriad of other purposes that stretch from flavouring your food to curing your flu to ridding your home of insects. Herb Garden Location The ideal site for a herb garden is a sunny, open but sheltered spot with well-drained fertile soil. As far as possible it should be free from weeds and overhanging trees and have good access to the house so that the herbs can be harvested in all weathers. Most herbs will survive in poor sandy soil, but few will tolerate wet clay soil. If you are using the Stack-A-Pots system, your water drainage problems are a thing of the past. The pots are designed to drain excess water, keeping your herbs healthy and optimally maintained. Herb Garden Design The appeal of a small formal herb garden remains timeless. For people with lots of space available, formal designs are based on geometric patterns, which are framed by low hedges and paved paths. Sounds overwhelming? There is a simpler, eco-friendly and space-saving solution for people with only a courtyard, balcony, verandah, porche or patio to spare for growing herbs. The Stack-A-Pots solution is ideal for both indoor and outdoor herb gardens. This system can also be converted into a state of the art hydroponics system, soilless growing techniques and saves water. Whether you are restricted in terms of space or movement, the days of stressing about not having fresh organic herbs for your fabulous meals are gone! With a Stack-A-Pots solution, the problem is solved as all herbs grow in their own separate pots with no encroachment into other pots. Even for a novice herb garden enthusiast, the results can look as beautiful as in the picture below with little training and lots of love. For more information and advice on planting herbs, subscribe to the Timeless Herb Secrets newsletter by Di-Di Hoffman.

This article is an adapted version of an article featured in Timeless Herb Secrets by Di-Di Hoffman, Owner of Bouquet Garni Nursery (South Africa’s Top Potted Herb Growers and Marketers) and director of the South African Herb Academy.

For information on Stack-A-Pots solution visit www.growingstacks.co.za

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FABULOUS WOMAN • SUMMER 2012

A simple guide for the modern woman


visit www.patek.com

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Fabulous Woman