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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home


The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

Dear Readers, The 17th of Tammuz has passed and we are now in the 3 weeks, quickly approaching the 9 days and Tisha Bav. During this time, we recall the events which led to the destruction of the Holy Temple, Bais Hamikdash, resulting in our continued exile. Throughout this period we should reflect on and improve ourselves, and learn from our long and painful exile, to better our relationship with G-d and fellow Jews. I recently read an article by Rabbi Yaakov Menken where he states that the Bais Hamikdash was destroyed because of baseless hatred. He explains that baseless hatred originates from a lack of communication. When there is an argument between two people, there is a lack of communication, an inability to reconcile differences, and a corresponding absence of concern for the other person. In the times of the second Bais Hamikdash, if there was such a disagreement, it would be taken to the courts. The person who lost no longer had justified claims against the other person, but they may nonetheless have remaining resentment towards the other, resulting in baseless hatred. If baseless hatred begins with a lack of commu-

nication, then the hope is to increase proper communication and remove animosity. With proper communication, we can build stronger relationships and counter any misinformation that breeds hatred. As we mourn the Bais Hamikdash during this time, we shall focus on finding the means to bring ourselves closer together with our fellow Jews and rebuild the Bais Hamikdash speedily. Have a great week. Very Best, Dina

PUBLISHER publisher@thefloridajewishhome.com

Dina Tzur

SENIOR EDITOR editor@thefloridajewishhome.com

Shoshana Soroka COPY EDITOR

Ronit Segal

ASSISTANT EDITOR

Yitzy Halpern

MANAGING PUBLISHER

Judah Shapiro

Shabbos Zmanim

Contents COMMUNITY Around the Community

Oded Tzur

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Classifieds 38 NEWS Global

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Israel

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FEATURE The Saint of West Dixie Highway and the Jews

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Jewish Heroes of the Holocaust

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PEOPLE Psychology Today

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Dating Dialogue

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Political Crossfire

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JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Efrem Goldberg

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Rabbi Berel Wein

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A Pocketful of Dirt in Celebration

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HEALTHY APPETITE Nine Days Menu

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Health and Fitness

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HUMOR Centerfold

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Good Humor

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Notable Quotes

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Candle Lighting Parshas Matot Masei 7:52 Parshas Devarim 7:48

Shabbos Ends Parshas Matot Masei 8:52 Parshas Devarim 8:48

ACCOUNTING MANAGER

Berish Edelman Design & Production

Advertisements, Classifieds & Real Estate info@thefloridajewishhome.com

305-467-9003 561-374-2005 The Jewish Home is an independent weekly magazine. Opinions expressed by writers are not necessarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.


The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

The Week In News

India is FB’s New BFF

Step aside, America; India is taking over. According to Facebook’s latest figures, India will become the social media site’s largest audience. As of July 13, Facebook was reporting a total “potential audience” of 241 million active users in India, compared with 240 million in the United States. The predictions were based on data from the last six months. Over the last half year, users in India increased by 27% (+50 million), compared with growth of 12% (+26 million) in the United States over the same period. Although the numbers sound extremely high, relative to India’s overall population, it is not a huge percentage. Only 19% of the country’s total population are Facebook users. In the U.S., on the other hand, 73% of the population uses Facebook. The global average is about 42%. Other countries where Facebook is extremely popular, in ranking order, include Brazil (No. 3), Indonesia, Mexico, Philippines, Vietnam, Thailand, Turkey, and the U.K. Recently Facebook reported that it has a total of 2 billion users.

France: Fuel-Free? France’s new president Emmanuel Macron is keeping his campaign promise of promoting policies that protect the environment. Macron’s administration hopes to end the sale of gas and diesel-powered vehicles by 2040. If the legislation goes through, automakers will only be allowed to sell electric vehicles or other cleaner power cars. Hybrids will be permitted. Nicolas Hulot, the government official in charge of France’s “ecological transition,” said the goal would help the nation’s automakers “innovate and become market leaders” while fighting global warming.

Automaker Volvo recently announced that every car it makes from 2019 onward will have an electric motor. Volvo is the first traditional carmaker to fully embrace electric and hybrid production. Last year, French drivers purchased just over two million cars, with only 4% powered by electric, hybrid and alternative fuels. Clearly there is a lot of work that needs to be done in the next two decades to reach this considerable goal. To help reach this lofty objective the government outlined a range of initiatives, including support for the development of alternative fuels such as electricity and hydrogen. The government also intends to finance new infrastructure for charging electric cars. Another initiative proposed to help overhaul the automobile sector is a cashfor-clunkers program, a program that will give people cash for trading in their old, polluting vehicles for a cleaner vehicle. Details on how exactly the program would be structured haven’t yet been revealed. Macron has made protecting the environment high up on his agenda. When President Trump withdrew from the Paris climate agreement Macron publicly condemned the decision and urged the public to “make our planet great again.” He also extended an invitation to American scientists, engineers and citizens who were disappointed by Trump’s move. “They will find in France a second homeland. I call on them, come and work here with us, to work together on concrete solutions for our climate,” he had said.

Millions of Venezuelans Vote in Protest

This week, millions of Venezuelans voted to reject President Nicolas Maduro’s controversial plans to rewrite the country’s constitution. Nearly 7.2 million Venezuelans took part in the non-binding referendum organized by the country’s main opposition parties, with the overwhelming majority of voters coming out against Maduro’s plan. The fact that so many came out to vote in an election that was mostly symbolic shows the emotions involved. It also shows that the opposition is more organized than previously thought. Venezuela is in the grip of social unrest, which has paralyzed the country amid violent protests seeking government reform. The government has condemned the refer-

endum as illegal, and has instead called for a July 30 vote to elect a special assembly to rewrite the 1999 constitution. The referendum asked voters three yesor-no questions. More than 98% of voters chose to reject the proposed constitutional assembly; request the military defend the existing constitution; and support fresh elections before Maduro’s term ends in 2019. Cecilia Garcia Arocha, rector of Central University of Venezuela, announced the results at the referendum headquarters in Caracas, pointing out that the number of polling stations, at 2,030, was much lower than in regular elections. Sunday’s turnout represents about 37% of Venezuela’s total electorate, according to CNN calculations based on 2015 National Electoral Committee figures. In 2013, Maduro was elected with just over 7.5 million votes, and Henrique Capriles came in second with 7.3 million votes. In response to Sunday’s results, Venezuela’s National Assembly Vice President Freddy Guevara called for a 24-hour nationwide strike to take place on Thursday. The strike is an effort to increase pressure on Maduro.

Iran Dominates Iraq

It seems that since the final American troops withdrew from Iraq in 2011 Iran has been babysitting. Although then-President Obama said that the U.S. is leaving behind a “sovereign, stable and self-reliant” Iraq, that doesn’t seem to be reality. Iran’s influence has infiltrated all aspects of life in Iraq including military, political, economic and cultural affairs. Iraqi stores are filled with goods from Iran. Iranians export everything from food to household products to illegal drugs into Iraq, completely taking over the commerce market. There are claims that private Iranian companies have been contracted to remove Iraq’s garbage. Iranian-sponsored militias are trying to channel men and guns to proxy forces in Syria and Lebanon. And in Baghdad, the government headquarters, the most senior Iraqi cabinet officials have been blessed, or bounced out, by Iran’s leadership. Political experts are saying that this was Iran’s game plan from the beginning, when the U.S. invaded Iraq 14 years ago and toppled Saddam Hussein. Over a decade, $1 trillion, and 4,500 American lives later, Iraq is still not the apolitical, democratic, Westernized country for

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which we had hoped. Many regard Iraq as Iran’s “client state,” a former enemy that Iran is hoping to control, if not outwardly, subtly. Over the past three years, Americans have focused on the battle against the Islamic State in Iraq, returning more than 5,000 troops to the country and helping to force the militants out of Iraq’s second-largest city, Mosul. However the U.S. has hinted that some troops will remain in Iraq even after the battle against the Islamic State, perhaps to keep an eye on Iran. “Iranian influence is dominant,” confirmed Hoshyar Zebari, who was ousted last year as finance minister because, he said, Iran distrusted his links to the United States. “It is paramount.” The vast majority of the world’s Muslims – around 85% – are Sunni. Iran, though, is 95 percent Shia. And the majority of Muslims in Iraq are Shia as well. Saddam Hussein was Sunni and so when his regime was toppled, the balance of power between Iraq and Iran – Sunni vs. Shia – was dismantled, skewing the region’s delicate equilibrium.

Paris Remembers 13,152 Jewish Victims

The 75th anniversary of the Vel’ d’Hiv roundup of French Jews was commemorated in Paris this week. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu participated in the ceremony, along with French President Emmanuel Macron, leaders of the French Jewish community, Holocaust survivors, French Righteous Among the Nations, and French WWII vets. The crown of 800 gathered together at the Quai de Grennelle, which used to be home to the Pris bicycle arena. It was at the Quai de Grennelle that 13,152 Jews were arrested, confined for four days without food and water, and eventually sent to Auschwitz. Less than 100 of them survived. When speaking at the event, Netanyahu first spoke in French, honoring the language spoken by those persecuted at that site. He noted, “The Nazis and their collaborators... shattered the lives of thousands of Jews at Vel’ d’Hiv. It seems that the values of the French Revolution – liberty, equality, fraternity – these values were crushed brutally under the boots of


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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

antis-Semitism. “13,152 people of the Jewish faith were dragged from their homes between the 16th and 17th of July 1942 to their death,” recounted the prime minister. “Among them, 4,115 children between ages of two and six, whom we are especially honoring today.” The president of the Association des Anciens Combattant – a group of French veterans who fought against the Nazis – also spoke at the ceremony. Salah Bellouti said that she was “very moved being here today, 75 years after the Vel’ d’Hiv roundup – a terrible act committed by the French police which we tried to prevent. I am here today to tell all French Jews and Jews around the world, ‘Never Again.’ We fought against the Vichy government and its terrible actions. The Jewish community must know that we, the veterans, did not

abandon them. And what happened there at Vel’ d’Hiv should serve as a lesson to our young generation in France.”

people.

Hungary Admits its Past Despite Hungary’s crimes during World War II, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban promised that his country will never again tolerate anti-Semitism. The vow was made to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu during a meeting between the two leaders on Tuesday. Netanyahu said that Orban “promised” him unequivocally that the Hungarian government is on the side of the Jewish

This vow comes after the Hungarian government conducted an aggressive campaign against Jewish billionaire and Holocaust survivor George Soros, who over the past few weeks attacked Hungary’s policy against immigrants and refu-

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gees seeking to enter the country on their way to Germany. According to Orban, Hungary’s collaboration with Nazi Germany during World War II was a “mistake” and a “sin” as it failed to protect its Jewish community. Orban said he told Netanyahu that he was aware of the “difficult history behind us.”  “At an earlier time, the government of Hungary made a mistake, moreover, committed a sin when it did not protect its citizens of Jewish heritage,” Orban said during a press briefing after his meeting with Netanyahu in Parliament. “Every Hungarian government has the duty to protect all of its citizens, regardless of their heritage.” Orban continued, saying, “During World War II, Hungary did not comply with this moral and political requirement. This is a sin because at the time we decided that instead of protecting the Jewish community, we chose collaboration with the Nazis.  “I made it clear to the prime minister that this can never happen again. In the future, the Hungarian government will protect all its citizens.” More than 550,000 Hungarian Jews were murdered in the Holocaust.  Netanyahu is the first Israeli prime minister to visit Hungary since 1989, when Hungary was still under communist rule. Netanyahu said he thought about Hungary first in relation to the birth of modern Zionism, as Theodore Herzl was born in Budapest in 1860. He also thanked Orban for Hungary’s repeated support for Israel.  Netanyahu cited French President Emmanuel Macron’s recent statement drawing a parallel between anti-Semitism and criticism of Israel. “Macron said there is a new anti-Semitism that is expressed in anti-Zionism, that is delegitimizing the one and only Jewish state,” Netanyahu said. “In many ways, Hungary is at the forefront of the states that are opposed to this anti-Jewish policy and I welcome it and I express the appreciation of my government and the people, many people, in Israel for this.”

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The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

rector of the Program on U.S.-Korea Policy at the Council of Foreign Relations, said. “This is an issue that has been going on under the radar for a long time.” Workers in Russia have constructed a new soccer stadium in St. Petersburg and a luxury apartment complex in Moscow. Many workers get injured on the job, and there have been some fatalities. Last month, the U.S. State Department issued a report on human trafficking that concluded that North Korean workers in Russia had been subjected to “exploitative labor conditions characteristic of trafficking cases such as withholding of identity documents, non-payment for services rendered, physical abuse, lack of safety measures, or extremely poor living conditions.” BONELESS “Secretary Tillerson has SKINLESS called on BREAST CHICKEN all all countries to fully implement U.N.

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Monday & Tuesday Special

Iran’s military and supporting the country’s ballistic missile program. The move came the day after the administration certified to Congress that Iran is technically complying with the nuclear deal and can continue enjoying nuclear sanctions relief, but warned penalties may still be in the offing over non-nuclear behavior. The U.S. Treasury Department sanctions targeted seven groups and five people that aided Iran’s military or the elite Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps. The sanctions also targeted what the U.S. says is a transnational criminal group based in Iran and three people associated with it, which the Treasury Department says stole software from the U.S. and other Western countries. The State Department also STEAK BURGERS targeted two more groups associated with FRESH FROZEN Iran’s ballistic missiles program and said

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it is just as deadly. The area around the mountain is constantly on fire, as the Camorra crime syndicate has been burning its toxic waste there for years. The area around Vesuvius is nicknamed the “land of fires” for all of the illegal incinerators that are constantly burning. Last week, several of the smaller fires joined together to create a major disaster. Hundreds of residents had to be evacuated, and dozens of hotels, restaurants, and businesses suffered. There is a lot of money to be made by bypassing the country’s mandatory toxic waste disposal regulations, and the mob in Italy is raking it in. Over 400 companies in the region have been investigated for allegedly selling their toxic waste to the mafia instead of using more expensive, more environmentally-friendly disposal options. Cancer rates in the region are higher than anywhere in Italy. This past February, eight children between the ages of 7 months and 11-years-old died from cancer. The mother of one of the young victims led a protest as part of the “Victims of the Land of Fire’s” group.  “These victims have no peace even in death,” she proclaimed. “We are burying them in the toxic soil.” Local Archbishop Marco Ricci spoke to an Italian news outlet. “There is toxic waste that propagates the flames and poisons the air. The smoke is black. Behind all this is a criminal hand,” he said. “We do not sleep anymore, we have sore throats and irritated eyes. It is not fair because many of our people have already paid for this with cancer because of the waste.”

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

it was “deeply concerned” over Tehran’s support for Lebanese terror group Hezbollah and Palestinian terror groups Hamas and Islamic Jihad. “Iran’s continued malign activities outside the nuclear issue undermine the positive contributions to regional and international peace and security that the deal was supposed to provide,” State Department spokesperson Heather Nauert. “The United States will continue to use sanctions to target those who lend support to Iran’s destabilizing behavior and, above all, the United States will never allow the regime in Iran to acquire a nuclear weapon.” U.S. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said that the sanctions show that the Trump administration will continue to act “aggressively” against Iran’s “provocative and destabilizing behavior.” “This Administration will continue to aggressively target Iran’s malign activity, including their ongoing state support of terrorism, ballistic missile program, and human rights abuses,” Mnuchin said. The sanctions freeze any assets the targets may have in the U.S. and prevent Americans from doing business with them. Tuesday’s sanctions came after the U.S. Senate in June overwhelmingly passed legislation to strengthen sanctions against Iran for its ballistic missile testing and other non-nuclear provocations. Passed by a vote of 98-2, the Countering Iran’s Destabilizing Activities Act of 2017 is supposed to impose new mandatory sanctions against persons and entities involved in Iran’s ballistic missile program and sanctions against the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corps. Both Democrats and Republicans in Washington have insisted on responding to Iran’s provocative ballistic missile tests for months, but reportedly waited until after the recent Iran election to vote on this legislation. The bill still has to go to the House of Representatives. If it passes there, it will go to the president’s desk. On Monday, Iran’s top army chief threatened attacks on U.S. military bases in the Middle East in the event that new sanctions are imposed on the regime as a result of the bill in Congress. Iran’s chief of staff, Major General Mohammad Hossein Bagheri, said that designating the Islamic Revolution Guards Corps a terrorist organization would be a huge miscalculation and threatened the consequences of doing so, saying it could destabilize the entire region, Iranian media reported. “Drawing an analogy between the IRGC and terrorist groups and imposing the same sanctions on the IRGC would be a big risk to the U.S. and its bases and forces stationed in the region,” Bagheri told a group of military commanders in Mashhad. Bagheri also said the U.S. should be wary of imposing new sanctions on the country to stop its missile program. “The Islamic Republic of Iran’s missile power

is defensive and is never negotiable at any level,” he threatened.

Reparations for Lasi Survivors

15,000 Jews were killed in pogroms in Lasi, Romania, in 1941. Many who survived were then loaded onto cattle cars for days at a time without food or water. Others were forced into ghettos, put under strict curfew, and lived in constant fear of being expelled or killed by both German and Romanian soldiers. Now, 72 years after the Holocaust horrors have ended, the survivors of Lasi are finally eligible for reparations. Julius Berman, the Claims Conference President, has announced that recent negotiations with Germany have led to a reparations budget for Lasi survivors in 2018. The benefits include an increase for nursing care at home for survivors from $399 million to $462 million. The requirements for eligibility for stipends have been eased as well. Previously, one had to live under treacherous conditions during the war for over 6 months; now those who lived that way for 4-6 months will qualify. “You can’t quantify the suffering of survivors who lived in fear they would be caught or exposed as Jews, which meant an immediate death sentence,” noted Claims Conference chief Greg Schneider. “The survivors who lived under these conditions, even for a few months, deserve the recognition these payments bring with them.” According to the Claims Conference, Germany has paid $70 billion to over 600,000 survivors since 1952. 40 percent of those funds went to survivors living in Israel.

Canada: OK to Drink Again Canada’s federal food inspection agency did some quick backtracking after some of their food inspectors ordered liquor stores to stop selling wines made in the West Bank because their label identifying

them as Israeli contradicts Ottawa’s policy on the territory. The retraction statement said that the Canadian Food Inspection Agency had not “fully considered” the Canada-Israel Free Trade Agreement when they had issued the ban. The wines, it turns out, do adhere to the agreement and are allowed to be on the shelves. Originally, the Liquor Board of Ontario said that the inspection agency had told wine sellers that the “Product of Israel” label on the bottles was a problem because the West Bank is not within Israel’s formal borders. The letter the board sent said that the country of origin on the wine was not acceptable as the West Bank is considered an occupied territory. The ruling they issued extended to wines from “any other territory occupied by Israel in 1967” that said “product of Israel,” specifically mentioning the Golan Heights, East Jerusalem and Gaza, as well as the West Bank. Before they reversed their position, B’nai Brith Canada said it “is expecting that the [CFIA] will soon rescind its recent decision to order the removal of certain Israeli wines from store shelves.” “B’nai Brith has received a lot of information on this matter from multiple sources and officials during the past 24 hours as we were advocating on behalf of the community,” said Michael Mostyn, CEO of B’nai Brith Canada. “We can say now that we are expecting this disturbing decision to be corrected in short order.” The order was reversed less than six hours after it was issued.

Higher Cancer Rates among Holocaust Survivors

A study has been published in the American Cancer Society’s Cancer journal that found that Holocaust survivors are far more likely to get certain kinds of cancer than other people. The study looked at 152,622 Holocaust survivors over the course of 45 years in Israel. The authors of the study compared cancer rates between those who were entitled to compensation for their experiences and those who weren’t, as well as those who lived in Nazi-occupied countries compared to those who lived elsewhere. The rationale behind the comparisons is that those who were entitled to compensation suffered the worst persecutions in death camps, concentration camps, and ghettos.

Siegal Sadetzki, of the Ramat Gan Sheba Medical Center, led the research team. She conducted the study hoping to find out if conditions such as lack of food, overcrowding, disease, and extreme stress affects one’s likelihood of getting cancer. “The data emphasize the importance of learning about the combined effect of several exposures occurring intensely and contemporaneously on cancer risk, such as those that unfortunately occurred during World War II,” Sadetzki said, adding that “such inspection cannot be conducted by experimental studies and could only be evaluated by using observational epidemiological surveys.” The study concluded that 22 percent of those who received compensation developed cancer, compared with 16 percent of those who did not. Those that received compensation had a 37% higher chance of having lung cancer and a 12% higher chance of having colon cancer. Those that lived in Nazi-occupied countries were 8 percent more likely to develop cancer.

High Flying Scores For Ben Gurion Int’l

Travel + Leisure magazine has issued its annual ranking of the world’s ten best airports, and Ben Gurion International Airport has made the cut. The publication asked readers to share their opinions of the world’s airports taking access, check-in, design, food, security, and shopping into account. Ben Gurion came in at number 8 this year. Though that is very impressive considering it is being compared to every international airport in the world, it did fall two spots from its ranking last year. Ben Gurion received a score of 79.40 out of 100. Coming in below Israel on the top ten list is Abu Dhabi International and Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport. Ben Gurion International saw 18 million people pass through in 2016, for its busiest year ever. Terminal 1 was completely renovated and reopened in June. Landing the top spot for the fifth year running is Singapore’s Changi Airport which offers lounges to nap in, a rooftop pool, shower rooms, a movie theater and a garden – all free of charge. Here are the top ten airports in the world: 1. Singapore’s Changi Airport 2. Hamad International Airport, Doha,


The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

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Qatar 3. Dubai International Airport 4. Incheon International Airport, South Korea 5. Hong Kong International Airport 6. Switzerland’s Zurich International Airport 7. Japan’s Haneda (Tokyo International Airport) 8. Israel’s Ben Gurion International Airport 9. Abu Dhabi International Airport (UAE) 10. Amsterdam’s Schiphol International Airport

Landmark Water Deal Reached

A deal has been signed that will both help the Dead Sea replenish itself and provide water to the Gaza Strip at the same time. Israel and the Palestinian Authority have announced an agreement that will include the construction of a 220 kilome-

ter pipeline from the Red Sea to the Dead Sea that will replenish the dwindling Yam Hamelach and generate electricity to power a desalination plant to give water to Gaza. The agreement was negotiated by President Donald Trump’s envoy Jason Greenblatt, who is hailing the deal as a “harbinger of things to come.” “As we all know, water is a precious commodity in the Middle East,” Greenblatt said. “The U.S. welcomes the agreement reached by the Palestinian Authority and the government of Israel, which will allow for the sale of 32 million cubic meters of water from Israel to the Palestinian Authority. In addition, we hope that the deal will contribute to the healing of the Dead Sea and that will help not only Palestinians and Israelis but Jordanians as well.” The deal was made under the watchful guidance of Regional Cooperation Minister Tzachi Hanegbi. “Unfortunately, in our neighborhood we don’t always have a reason to smile. This morning we do,” Hanegbi said. “After years of stalemate, and thanks to the passionate negotiations of Jason Greenblatt and thanks to the pragmatic and professional approach of both delegations… we reached an important agreement,” he said. President Trump has been very adamant that achieving peace in the Middle East is a “top priority for him.” The U.S. envoy that met with Benjamin Netanyahu

and the Palestinians as a launching point to reopen negotiations noted that this water deal is the second recent agreement that has been made between Israel and the PA, referring to the launching of the new Jenin electrical substation last week. The canal that is to be built has an estimated cost of $10 billion. Israel, the U.S., the EU, Japan, Italy and others have already committed to part of the cost, according to Netanyahu’s office.

Calls for Day of Rage after Temple Mount Terror Shooting Multiple people have been arrested by Israeli Police after a deadly terror attack took place at the Temple Mount last Friday. Two Druze Israeli police officers, master sergeants Haiel Sitawe, 30, and Kamil Shnaan, 22, were killed in the shooting attack. The terrorists, Israeli-Arabs Muhammad Ahmed Muhammad Jabarin, 29, Muhammad Hamad Abdel Latif Jabarin, 19, and Muhammad Ahmed Mafdal Jabarin, 19, were all shot after they fled from the scene. Other officers had given chase and opened fire on the killers inside the Temple Mount complex. Two of them were killed.

The third was arrested but was then killed when he lunged at officers with a knife. In addition to arresting additional suspects who may have helped carry out the attack, raids were conducted on the homes of the terrorists, who are all cousins from the northern Israeli city of Umm al-Fahm. For the first time in decades, police ordered the closure of the Temple Mount while they carried out security checks. It is not known how the terrorists smuggled the guns they used into the Temple Mount complex. Muslim visitors to the site are subjected to a much less rigorous search than non-Muslim visitors who enter through the Mughrabi Bridge. Israel is responsible for the security of the area. Jordan urged Israel to “immediately reopen” the Haram al-Sharif compound, which houses the Dome of the Rock. Public Security Minister Gilad Erdan, who is responsible for the police, called the attack “an extremely serious event which crossed all red lines. The investigation is ongoing. We will need to reevaluate all of the security arrangements on the Temple Mount and its environs. I call on all public leaders to act to calm the situation and ensure quiet in Jerusalem.”

Although no terror group claimed responsibility for the attack, Hamas did praise the shootings. saying it was a “natural response to Israeli terrorism.” Temple Mount was reopened on Sunday to Muslims and to non-Muslims on Monday. New security measures, including the installation of metal detectors, were implemented when it was opened. The Fatah movement, headed by Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, called for a “Day of Rage” on Wednesday to protest the new security measures. The announcement of a “Day of Rage” came amid unrest from Arabs who hurled rocks and firebombs and blocked roads in defiance. Along with other Islamic groups, the Waqf trust, which administers the site, on Monday  called on Muslims “to reject

and boycott all the Israeli aggression measures, including changing the historical status quo including imposing the metal detectors.” In its statement, the Waqf called on the faithful not to enter the mosque by passing through the metal detectors, adding, “If the metal detectors continue to be imposed, we call upon the people to pray in front of the gates of the mosque and in the streets of Jerusalem.”


The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

Around the

Community Yeshiva Toras Chaim Toras Emes BMZE Celebrates a Joint Siyum

Yeshiva Toras Chaim Toras Emes - Mordechai Buzaglo

There was a spirit in the room. After a long year learning the challenging Mesechta of Yevomos, Bais Medrash Zichron Ezra of Yeshiva Toras Chaim Toras Emes, was ready to celebrate a joint Siyum. The banquet tables were beautifully set, the delicious food catered by Grill Time was on the steamers, but everyone was waiting for one last thing. Mordechai Buzagalo finished the final Gemora and recited the Hadran and everyone broke out in festive dancing. Even though there was extensive dancing with professional sound scheduled for after the seudah, the bochrim couldn’t contain their simcha. They had to dance immediately to express their feelings of accomplishment. But this was only one element of spirit revealed that night.

Rabbi Yaakov Kier spoke to the Talmidim in honor of this event. He quoted the words of the Maharsha in Meseches Shabbos (118b) that says any one talmid’s siyum in the Bais Medrash deserves a celebration of the entire Bais Medrash. Rav Henach Leibowitz zt”l would fondly explain the Maharsha that everybody in the Bais Medrash has an influence on each other. One talmid’s hasmada effects his friend, thus a siyum is an accomplishment for everyone. For everything is brought about through the spirit in the Bais Medrash. Rabbi Kier added that this spirit had showed itself some months earlier, when another Talmid made a siyum. This newcomer to Yeshiva was inspired by the environment of Bais Medrash Zichron Ezra.

Yeshiva Toras Chaim Toras Emes - Talmidim Dancing

He worked hard and succeeded in making his first siyum in his life. The Talmidim embraced this newcomer and his accomplishment and his siyum was a moment that he will never forget. A generous member of the community, when causally told this story, was so inspired that he offered to pay for a lavish dinner for the Yeshiva ‘s next siyum. This was the anonymous sponsor of tonight’s event. So you see the spirit of the Bais Medrash is inspiring and spreading. Finally, Rabbi Kier concluded that this spirit in the Bais Medrash didn’t just come about by itself. Rabbi Dovid Sharfman zt”l, the late Mashgiach, for whom the Talmidim dedicated this siyum, was a central source of this spirit. It was most appropriate that his Rebbetzin and fami-

ly were in attendance at the siyum. Rabbi Sharfman understood that the ruach of a Yeshiva is an underlying catalyst for its success. Besides his dedication to teaching the Talmidim shiurim which were masterpieces in Gemora, Halacha and Mussar, Rabbi Sharfman was instrumental in creating a special spirit in the Bais Medrash. This siyum was a testimony to not just the Talmid’s accomplishments, but also the Rebbeim’s inspiration behind it. So after the music stopped and all the tables were cleared, there was still something to be taken home from this event. The memories of the night will last forever. Just like the spirit of the Yeshiva, which has been crafted into the walls of the Bais Medrash for an eternal zechus.


The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

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Still Summer’s Hottest Ticket: PJ Library Ice Cream Socials

Children and families are invited by PJ Library in South Palm Beach County to drop in between 5:30 and 7:00 p.m. at frozen yogurt shops around town for sweet treats on hot summer Wednesday nights and enjoy story time with local rabbis as well as arts & crafts. For a third year, Conservative, Orthodox and Reform synagogues are partnering with PJ Library for a “Sweet Summer Series.” Each Wednesday night through August 9, a rabbi from one of seven partner synagogues will read PJ Library stories. This year’s series builds on the success of the last two summers, when PJ Library in South Palm Beach County introduced the innovative project to the community, explained Elana Ostroff, local Director of PJ Library, based at the Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County. “We are so glad to once again provide unaffiliated young Jewish families the in our community with these opportunities to connect to the different synagogues,” said Ostroff. “They are able to meet clergy and synagogue members as well as other young families in a relaxed, informal environment. It’s a great way for them to see what the community has to offer, enjoy the stories, crafts and ice cream - and also sign up for our PJ Library program!” Rabbis and parents agree that the Sweet Summer Series continues to be a seasonal hit for all. Deena Sturm of Boca Raton, a PJ Library parent, said, “The series is a great way to learn about the different synagogues in the area — as well as to support one’s own synagogue and meet new friends. My kids love the stories and crafts and, of course, the ice cream. I love how they listen to the rabbis and feel comfortable being proudly Jewish in a public place.” “This was a great opportunity to get together informally in the summer to meet new families, enjoy some delicious ice cream and reinforce for our children the importance of reading and Jewish values, said Rabbi Philip Moskowitz of the Orthodox Boca Raton Synagogue, after this year’s first Sweet Summer event, at Menchies Frozen Yogurt in the Garden Shops at Boca. “It was so meaningful to watch the diverse mix of children from different backgrounds and different communities have a good time with each other as both they and their parents met new friends. We’re so blessed to partner together with PJ Library and PJ Our Way in providing for these types of opportunities

and social programs.” “I’m so excited for this year’s PJ Library Summer Ice Cream series!” said Rabbi Greg Weisman of the Reform Temple Beth El of Boca Raton. “Every summer I get to take an evening to spend with children and parents from our school and our community and connect with them over a few stories and a delicious treat. Our families look forward to this event each year, and we are so grateful to PJ Library for this opportunity.” “I always look forward to our summers in Boca Raton with PJ Library!” said Rabbi David Baum of the Conservative Congregation Shaarei Kodesh. “I love spending time reading and spending time with our families.  Reading these incredible books over the summer is a great way for parents and children to connect in greater ways.”   Rabbi Yaakov Gibber of the Orthodox Boca Jewish Center/ Shaaray Tefilla concurred, after his recent evening at Yogurt Rendezvous in Del Mar Shopping Center in Boca Raton, “We are so thankful for the opportunity to participate in PJ Library’s fantastic programming which successfully brings warmth and inspiration to its young listeners as well as unites our community by bringing new families together for a shared and common purpose.”  PJ Library in South Palm Beach County provides high-quality Jewish books and music free of charge through monthly mailings to local families raising Jewish children aged 6 months through 8 years old. Part of an innovative international Jewish outreach program spearheaded by the Harold Grinspoon Foundation, it is based locally at the Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County. The program’s second chapter, PJ Our Way, provides self-chosen monthly books and online activities for tweens ages 9-11. PJ also holds family events large and small throughout the year. “The Sweet Summer Series is only one component of the PJ Library events held

throughout the local community that draw over 5,500 children, parents and grandchildren each year,” said Joanna Drowos, local PJ Library Chair, who enjoys attending the events with her children. Together, we enjoy stories, crafts, concerts and fairs; learn about holidays and mitzvot; pack food for those in need; make hamentashen; visit a farm, bookstores, synagogues and so much more. PJ Library brings Jewish life into local homes and brings the

young Jewish community together.” For more information about the Sweet Summer Series, visit http://jewishboca. org/sweetsummer, and to learn more about or sign up for the PJ Library program, visit jewishboca.org/pjlibrary, e-mail pjlibrary@bocafed.org or call Ostroff at 561.852.6080. To sign up for PJ Our Way for children 9-11, visit pjourway.org.


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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

Around the Community

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The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

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Around the Community

OU Advocacy Mission Brings Orthodox Community Leaders to Capitol Hill and White House National Contingent Urges Action for Legislation to Combat Palestinian Terrorism and Promote Jewish Community Security; Delegation also Discusses School Choice with Secretary of Education

More than 125 lay and rabbinic leaders of Orthodox Jewish communities from across the country convened on Capitol Hill and at the White House  for the Orthodox Union Advocacy Center’s annual Leadership Mission to Washington, D.C.  Orthodox Union President Mark Bane stated:  “The Orthodox Union Advocacy Center works year-round to advocate for the values and interests of the Orthodox Jewish community, and coming to Washington is a very visible reminder of our commitment to those we represent and our appreciation for this country’s leaders who work tirelessly on behalf of the Jewish people and Israel.” Throughout the day-long mission, the delegates focused  on advocating for three issues critical to the Orthodox Jewish community:   • greater funding for the federal Nonprofit Security Grant Program to protect Jewish day schools, synagogues and other nonprofits from attacks; • passing the Taylor Force Act, which will suspend U.S. aid to the Palestinian Authority until it ends its practice of paying financial stipends to the families of terrorists; • advancing school choice policies to empower parents to provide their children with a high- quality K-12 education. OUA Executive Director Nathan Diament stated: “We are grateful that so many prominent leaders of our community came to Washington and successfully advance the critical policy priorities of security for Israel, security for American Jewish schools and synagogues and school choice.” The day’s events kicked off with an opening session featuring Rep. Eliot Engel (D-N.Y.), the ranking member of the House Foreign Affairs Committee and Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.), chair of the Education Committee. Chairwoman Foxx spoke of her deep commitment to school choice policies. Rep. Engel spoke of his commitment to pass bipartisan legislation – like the Taylor Force Act – to put an end to the Palestinian Authority’s terrorist stipends. Orthodox Union delegates then met

with their congressional representatives in smaller groups to discuss the policy agenda. After those meetings, the entire group reconvened for a luncheon with U.S. Senators. Sen. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) announced the 98-2 vote that had just occurred in favor of new sanctions on Iran, for which he received a standing ovation.  Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) said the United States must make sure Iran is held accountable for its actions. “They haven’t moderated a bit,” Schumer said. “They’re still exporting terrorism.” Schumer was also among several senators who spoke about the need to pass legislation like the Taylor Force Act, saying: “Abbas has to stop making payments to terrorists and their families, and all elected officials should call them out” for this practice. He further stated he will support legislation like the Taylor Force Act if the Trump Administration cannot get the Palestinians to end the stipends. The ranking Democrat on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Sen. Ben Cardin (D-Md.) said: “We’re going to find a way to pass the Taylor Force Act.” Making the cause bipartisan, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), addressed the OU delegates noting he was one of the original sponsors of the legislation, and that Congress must take action immediately to stop funding Palestinian terrorism. Sen. Cruz also spoke about his support to relocate the U.S. Embassy in Israel. “Now is the time to recognize Jerusalem as the one eternal, indivisible capital of Israel,” Cruz said. “It is long past time to move the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem, where it belongs.” Other senators who spoke during the lunch were Sens. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), Bill Nelson (R-FL), John Hoeven (R-N.D.) and Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.), all of whom voiced

OUA delegation at White House with Betsy DeVos

OUA Florida's Contingent including Mimi Jankovits and Jonathan Chames

OUA Leadership, including Florida's Dr. Allan Jacob, with Education Secretary Betsy DeVos

their strong support for the OU Advocacy’s work and their ongoing efforts on behalf of Israel and the Jewish people. The OU leaders then traveled to the White House. There, they met with Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos to discuss school choice initiatives; Special Representative for International Negotiations Jason Greenblatt, who spoke about  advancing the Israeli-Palestinian peace process; and Deputy Assistant to the President Sebastian Gorka, who provided insights into national security policy.  OU Executive Vice President Allen Fagin stated: “Coming to Washington reminds all of us that we have great strength when we join together and speak with a unified voice in our nation’s capital. Our national delegation of leaders deeply appreciated the many Representatives and Senators who met with us and will be our partners on our policy priorities.  And we were all honored to meet with such senior Administration officials – Secretary DeVos, Special Rep. Greenblatt and Deputy Assistant Gorka.”  Orthodox Union Advocacy Center Chairman Jerry Wolasky stated: “I am proud to be among the leaders of the OU Advocacy Center.  Meeting with a Cabinet Secretary, top aides to the President and a score of Senators and Representatives is a testament to the high regard in which the Orthodox Union is held in Washington. The OU Advocacy Center works intensively – and successfully – to leverage this access into concrete policies that benefit our community and others.” The Orthodox Union Advocacy Center is the non-partisan public policy arm of the OU and leads its advocacy efforts in Washington, DC and state capital.

Sen Ted Cruz (R-Texas)


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

1.

TJH You gotta be kidding John is flying to New York for summer vacation. When he gets to the airline counter, he presents his ticket for JFK Airport and says to the agent handling his luggage, “I’d like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii and my red suitcase to London.” The confused agent says, “I’m sorry, we can’t do that.” “Really?” John responds. “That’s a relief. After all, that’s exactly what you guys did to my luggage last year!”

Centerfold Riddle me this?

An old righteous man, Luciano Pavarotti, George Bush, and Bill Gates are sitting in first class on the same plane. There are only three parachutes left for the four of them. Bush says: “As a former president, I think I should have the right to have a parachute, because I ruled millions of people in the greatest nation of all.” Pavarotti says: “As one of the greatest singers of all-time, I think I should deserve to be safe. I bring tears and laughter to millions of people, and I’m an important contributor to the opera.” Bill Gates says: “As one of the richest successful company owners, I think I should live because I’m on top of the economic cycle, creating jobs and incomes for millions of people. I am a wealthy and intelligent man.” Finally, the old man says: “I’m an old man. I lived a life that’s full; I’m ready to let go of a parachute and to face my fate.” Bush says, “I can’t let a righteous old man like you die. If you jump out then I will not use my parachute but will join you.” Then Gates says, “You know what? I am inspired. If Bush jumps out with the old man then I won’t use my parachute either and will leave it for one of the people in the back of the plane.” Which of them died? See answer below

Can you figure out what this means?

D N A T S ,D

Answer to riddle: None of them – the plane landed safely. Whoever said the plane was having any trouble?

Answer to Can You Figure This Out: Stand-up comedy


The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT… Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price? Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon. Customer: What’s the difference in the paint? Clerk: Oh, there isn’t any difference; it’s all the same paint. Customer: Well, then I’d like some of that $12 paint. Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint? Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It’s my day off. Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint. Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint? Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday. Customer: You’ve got to be kidding! Clerk: I’ll check and see if we have any paint available. Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it! Clerk: But it doesn’t mean that we have paint available. We sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just went to $16. We don’t have any more $12 paint. Customer: The price went up as we were talking? Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times a day, and since you haven’t actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want? Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I’ll have enough. Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can’t do that. If you buy paint and don’t use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.

Customer: WHAT?! Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining gallons of paint. Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it! Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every drop. If you don’t, it causes us all sorts of problems. Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don’t keep painting until after Saturday night! Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint. Customer: But what are all these, “Paint on sale from $10 a liter” signs? Clerk: Well that’s for our budget paint. It only comes in half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second half-gallon to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans. Customer: This is crazy! I’ll buy what I need somewhere else! Clerk: I don’t think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from someone else, but you won’t be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir, that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon. Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200! Clerk: That’s if you paint around the room to the point at which you started. A hallway is different. Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in one direction, you’ll confiscate the remaining paint. Clerk: No, we’ll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on your next gallon of paint. But I believe you’re getting it now, sir. Customer: You’re insane! Clerk: Thanks for painting with United!

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

Torah Thought The Absolute Wrong Reaction to Israel’s Recent Controversial Decisions Rabbi Efrem Goldberg Six million is an impossible number to fathom. We can picture 60 or 600 people in a room, and maybe even identify with being among 6,000 or even 60,000 in a stadium, but beyond that, the number is simply beyond our experience and therefore our comprehension.  That is why, standing in Majdanek last week in the barrack filled with shoes, I suggested to the members on our BRS trip that they fix their eyes on one shoe.  Examine the size, color, design, and picture the person who wore that shoe. Try to imagine what went through their mind when they walked in that shoe into this horrific place. In her testimony about arriving at Majdanek, Judith Becker talks specifically about shoes: Shoes are the most important thing you owned, if you owned it, in the camps, because if you didn’t have shoes your feet got sore and once you had sores on your feet, they didn’t heal.  You couldn’t keep up the pace and you might as well have died.  You were finished… I am sure that every survivor’s story has something about shoes because they became a matter of life and death.  The importance of shoes in the camps had extra resonance for me on our trip because just a few days before we left, I unexpectedly underwent minor surgery to remove a foreign body from my foot.  Baruch Hashem, I was able to wear a shoe just in time, but each step was painful and I wobbled around the sites we visited, moving slower and more gingerly than usual. Standing in that barrack of shoes at Majdanek, and later in front of the display of shoes at Auschwitz, I couldn’t stop thinking about the prisoners who were denied decent footwear and the pain, suffering and degradation they endured from that alone.  What happened to someone who stepped on a foreign body in those places?  If Judith Becker is right, they were finished, they couldn’t keep up the pace and, they might as well have died. Every morning we say the blessing, “she’asah li kol tzorchi,” blessed are you God who has provided my every need.  We follow it up by acknowledging God as the One who is, “ha’meichin mitzadei gaver,” who firms man’s footsteps.  Though we say these as part of the series of Birchos HaShachar, morning blessings, the Talmud (Berachos 60b) actually prescribes the recitation of these blessings

in conjunction with putting on our shoes in the morning. In proclaiming them, we acknowledge Hashem’s benevolence in allowing us to function independently and to be mobile so that we can accomplish, achieve, travel, and enjoy His world. In one of the barracks of Birkenau, our trip’s remarkable educator, Dr. David Bernstein, held up two contrasting pictures to illustrate a poignant point.  The first is a 1942 scene of a helpless man wrapped in a tallis being cruelly taunted and tortured

and said, “Meir was determined to ensure that the Jewish people would never be helpless and defenseless again and to this end he dedicated his life to building up the strength of the state of Israel.” Our week in Poland was physically and emotionally grueling. Visiting mass graves, former ghettos, and walking through death camps tore us apart and gave us a tiny glimpse into the suffering, torment, and devastation our people went through.  Traveling with many children

Meir Dagan's Grandfather being ridiculed and beaten by the Nazis

by the Nazis in the village of Lukow in central Poland. The man, whose yarmulka has been removed, is looking down, with his hands in the air, as if surrendering. He was murdered a short time later.

Meir Dagan, became a general in the IDF & Director of the Mossad

of survivors enhanced the trip greatly, as the stories they told made the places we visited much more vivid and real. Obviously, the Holocaust must be studied, mourned, and

“What I cannot possibly understand, however, and frankly find unconscionable, is any call for withdrawing support of Israel.” The second picture is of that man’s grandson. He is wearing a uniform.  It is not one of a prisoner in a concentration camp, but the uniform of the IDF, the Israel Defense Forces.  His name is Meir Dagan a”h and he rose to become a general in the Israeli army and then director of the Mossad.  Throughout his career, he kept the photograph of his grandfather on the wall of his office.  When eulogizing General Dagan, Prime Minister Netanyahu referred to the picture of his grandfather

shared as a discrete part of our communal, collective history. Nevertheless, the recognition of just how blessed we are to live in the time of the miraculous modern State of Israel is inescapable, even—or perhaps especially—on a trip like this. Our ancestors had no place to run, no one to welcome them with open arms, no place to provide refuge and nobody to protect them.  While many lacked shoes literally, they were also metaphorically barefoot: immobile, vulnerable,

and utterly dependent on others. Israel and the IDF are the shoes of our people, providing us all with protection, independence and safety, not only in Israel, but around the world. When Jews are held hostage in Entebbe, it is the IDF who pulls off a courageous and miraculous rescue.  When Jews are finally able to escape from behind the Iron curtain, it is Israel that absorbs them.  And when Jews need to be transported from Ethiopia, it is Israel who brings them home. I was in Poland when I read about the escalation of controversy coming from Israel due to two recent decisions.  I am greatly sympathetic to the pain and anguish of so many of our Jewish brothers and sisters as a result of these policy decisions and from the reneging on the deal that was struck and agreed to.  No matter how complicated these issues, I understand their desire to be recognized and to have access.  I respect their right to advocacy and to pursue their agenda vigorously. What I cannot possibly understand, however, and frankly find unconscionable, is any call for withdrawing support of Israel.  As American Jews are struggling with unprecedented levels of assimilation and intermarriage, threatening our very future in this country, is anyone in America really in a position to withdraw support of Israel? These complicated issues deserve to be addressed more fully and to a better conclusion, but in the meantime, American Jews must never make the mistake of thinking that Israel needs us more than we need her.  If God forbid tides would turn and we in America would be in danger, it is Israel and her powerful military that we would rely on to come to our rescue.  If we needed to flee and find refuge, it is Israel that we would expect to open her arms, no matter our denomination. Support for Israel must never be a negotiating tool or a point of leverage.  We don’t tolerate calls for boycotts of Israel from our enemies and we cannot, and must not accept them from our friends, no matter the reason or motivation.  A weaker or compromised Israel is a weaker and more vulnerable Jewish people globally. Seventy-two years ago, the greatest atrocity in history was followed a short three years later by the greatest miracle in nearly 2,000 years. Pledging to never forget means not only preventing another Holocaust, but remembering how fortunate and blessed we are to have a strong State of Israel and therefore, doing all we can to support Israel, unconditionally. With a strong Israel, never again will we walk without shoes. Rabbi Goldberg is the Senior Rabbi of Boca Raton Synagogue.


The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

Torah Thought

By Rabbi Berel Wein

Receive a Multitude of Blessings THROUGH THE REBBE OF KLAL YISROEL!

project: YHKSERVICES.COM

Parshas Matos-Masei

‫בס״ד‬

A T T H E H O LY

‫אר״י‬ ‫הקדוש‬ ON THE DAY OF HIS YARTZEIT, 5 AV

The Jewish people have always been a traveling nation. It is almost as if wandering has become our second nature, built into the DNA of our society and history. The Torah lists for us over forty way stations and oases that the Jewish people visited during their trek in the desert from Egypt to the outskirts of the Land of Israel. Rashi, subtly and almost ironically, comments that the L-rd was kind to us and that He did not force us to visit many other waystations that could also have been part of our journey. In fact, for thirty-eight years, the camp of Israel resided in one place in the desert. Wanderlust has within it a positive component of curiosity and creativity. It also contains the nucleus of dissatisfac-

countless number of contributions to human civilization. Over the past two centuries there has been a slow but steady reversal of our wandering. The vast majority of the Jewish people in the world now reside in two geographical locations – the State of Israel and the United States. Both communities feel themselves very much at home in their countries. So much so, that Jews from the rest of the world continue to migrate to these two centers of Jewish life. The State of Israel remains the Promised Land and our eternal homeland, spiritually and physically. The United States has provided its Jewish citizens with freedom and opportunity never before granted to them in the history of our exile and diaspora. There is no question that

The wandering Jew became a stereotype both in the Jewish and non-Jewish worlds. tion and frustration. We are constantly looking for a better place to be and we are loath to make the proper investment and effort in improving the place in which we are. We are always looking for a more comfortable environment, better weather and more luxurious surroundings. This has been true of the Jewish people over its long history. Even though many of our migrations were forced upon by others, with evil degrees and from cruel governments, nevertheless the spirit of migration made substantial numbers of Jews leave their homes to travel to other countries and continents. The wandering Jew became a stereotype both in the Jewish and non-Jewish worlds. Among the many disparaging comments made about Jews by Charles de Gaulle was the one that described us as a restless people.  Perhaps this is so but it is also the key to our creativity, with

these two communities have developed independently with different goals, ideas, practices and societal norms. I think that is obvious that neither community will be able to satisfy the other one completely and consistently. The idea of Jewish unity has to be built not only with what connects us – our faith and shared history – but also with the realization that the communities are different and will diverge in attitude and practice on a regular basis. Nevertheless, the fact that these communities are different should not mean that they are bound to be antagonistic one to the other. A healthy respect and tolerance for each other and for the differences that exist between these communities would go a long way towards easing tensions and in promoting a spirit of good will. Shabbat shalom.

R

ecently, a Tehillim Kollel member called us to request that we daven for him at one of Tehillim Kollel’s daily locations, the grave of the holy Ari Hakodesh ZY”A in Tzfas. He shared with us a story that he read in the Sefer “Elef Ksav”. In the times of the Ari Hakodesh, the Rebbe of Klal Yisroel, there was a yid, a Mekubal, named R”S Haleivy, who would recite the entire Tehillim on a daily basis at the grave of Yirmiyahu Hanavi. One day, while he was saying tehillim, he saw a yid clothed in white, holding a silver trophy filled with water. The yid gave him this trophy filled with water, but R”S Halievy was so terrified by this experience that he fell down and blacked out. When he awoke, he did not see the yid anymore. When he returned to the city, his rebbe, the Ari Hakodesh, told him, “You should know that your daily Tehillim made a storm in heaven, and you had the zechus to be Mekarev the Geulah! From heaven, they sent down Yirmiyahu Hanavi, who is a Kohen, and since you are a Leivy, he gave you the trophy water so that you could wash his hands for the Avodah. Together, you would have brought the Geulah! But we missed the chance!” The new Tehilim Kollel member continued and said, “This story so clearly demonstrates the power of saying Tehillim on a daily basis at the grave of a holy man. I am sure that your special Tefillos said at the kever of the Ari Hakadosh each day will bring Klal Yisroel so many yeshuos and brachos! Thank you for being our holy messengers.”

On the Yartzeit of the Ari Hakodesh, storm the heavens with the power of Tehillim!

Sign Up Today!

718.705.7174 info@tehillimkollel.org | www.tehillimkollel.org

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

Going the extra mile!

Psychology Today

Not I Dr. Yaakov Siegel

10 YEARS WITH THOUSANDS OF SECURE TRANSACTIONS.

732.987.7765 WWW.SELLMILESNOW.COM

We each have a plan and a vision for how life is “supposed to” go and how things are meant to turn out. In practice, very few – if any – meet their expectations. More often, we are left bewildered, frustrated and flummoxed at our own weakness and vulnerability. That we actually have little say in the way things are. This is when anxiety and addiction sets it. Faced with the truth that we are not in control, we begin to worry, agonize and fear; will it turn out all right? Allowed to fester, these thoughts mushroom into anxiety or full blown panic. Addiction works the same way. Realizing that we can’t have everything we want, knowing that things are not in our power, and unwilling to turn our lives over, we resort to substances and/or behaviors that help us maintain an illusion of control, or at least ease the pain of powerlessness. Sometimes the addict says, “if I cannot dictate the way this world runs, then I’m checking out of it.” The trouble with both anxiety and addiction is that it is a short-term solution (at best) that can become a big problem. Anxiety and panic quickly wear a person down. There is an endless supply of things to worry about and infinite number of scenarios that could go wrong - some of them more rational than others – but both equally destructive when allowed to take hold in our minds. Addiction, too, is a progressive “disease” that starts innocently enough only to spiral out of control. One college student asked: “what is wrong with drinking alcohol every night? You should see my dorm; students drink all the time, and they are still getting good grades. Seems like they’re ok to me.” The answer is that these budding alcoholics may be able to juggle their vices and their responsibilities - for now. Their relationships are still unattached, they enjoy the support of faculty, peers and campus staff, have parental backing, and live in an artificial bubble that allows them to “have their drink and down it too.” For the time being. But just wait…

Look ten, twenty, maybe thirty years down the line. If they keep up their drinking and other self-destructive behaviors, these same youngsters’ lives won’t look quite the same. The partying will have caught up to them – they are playing on borrowed time. Unhealthy behaviors eventually take a toll. As they say in the rooms (Alcoholics Anonymous): “addiction leads to one of three things: institutionalization, incarceration or death.” That is how it always ends. The road of addiction is like a highway winding toward the edge of a cliff. Cars rush by, racing blissfully onward, without a care. They may even enjoy the ride. Music plays, passengers smile and laugh as they watch the coastline pass. But it is only a matter of time until the road they are traveling meets its tragic end. There are many exits along the way. The smart ones – or the one’s with wise and caring relatives - get off the road before it is too late. That means facing limitations and accepting reality for what it is. It means letting go of resentment, anxiety and the illusion of control. The root of anxiety and addiction lies in our pretending that we are in control. Recovery from both starts in the same place: Admitting that we are powerless. That we are not, never were, and never will be in control. That is Step One. Which leaves us with a question: “if I am not running this world, then who is?” Dr. Siegel is a licensed psychologist in private practice. He has held positions in Federal and State institutions providing clinical services and psychological assessment.  He also served as clinical coordinator at an addiction center where he supervised and trained staff.   Dr. Siegel can be reached at 732-8061513 or drsiegel@siegelpsychological. com


The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

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The Saint of West Dixie Highway and the Jews Norman A. Bloom

Statue of Saint Brenard erected in 1174 in the Study Hall

Nestled on a parcel of land along West their midst, the Jews. The result was large Bernard was well prepared for his Dixie Highway in North Dade County lies scale massacres, the first in the annals of mission. In his letter of 1146 to eastern one of the venerable tourist sites of South European Jewry, that resound in Jewish France and Bavaria, originally promotFlorida -- the Ancient Spanish Monastery. history till today. ing the Second Crusade, Bernard had inOriginally constructed in Segovia, Spain Stoking these fears were the preach- cluded an explicit directive that the “Jews during the years 1133-1141, it was moved ings of a fanatical French monk, Radaul- must not be persecuted, slaughtered, nor to its present site in the mid-20th century, and is considered the oldest structure in the Western Hemisphere.  Presently under Episcopalian aegis, it originally was home to a Cistercian Or“A collective sigh of relief would go up amongst der of the Catholic Church. As a Christian the Jews of France and Germany. There would be holy site, it should seemingly offer very little to attract Jewish attention. But it is no reenactment of the First Crusade; the angel of the saint for whom the church in the mondeath was no longer lurking at their doors.” astery was  named, St. Bernard de Clairvaux, and the pivotal role that he played in a crucial chapter of medieval Jewish history, whereby a connection may be forged. The year was 1145. News had reached Europe that the Christians had been de- phe, calling for the massacre of the Jews even driven out.” And, in yet another letfeated by the Seljuk Turks at the Siege of in the Rhineland. Innocent blood began to ter, to the Archbishop of Mainz, he acEdessa. Today, lying on the Syrian-Turkish be shed -- as numbers of Jews were mur- cused Radaulphe of “unauthorized preachborder, the county that went by that name dered. This served only to reinforce the ing, contempt for episcopal authority, and was the northernmost of the Latin states widespread notion that the opening act of incitement to murder” -- referring to him that had been established by the First Cru- a bloody replay of the First Crusade had as a  “a murderer, a liar, and the father of sade. Its fall clearly struck at the fate of begun. lies.” He called for an end to his scurrilous the key Crusader state, the Kingdom of Jerusalem. In response to this, Pope Eugenius III called upon the most prominent church figure of the time, Bernard, Abbot of  Clairvaux, to preach taking up the cross once again, to secure Christian hegemony in the Holy Land. In history, this would come down as the Second Crusade. That  another  Crusade was about to be undertakSaint Brenard Catherdral on West Dixie Highway The Introductory Summer Garden en undoubtedly struck deep in the heart of North Miami, FL chords of terror in the hearts of  Franco-German Jewry. Still fresh in Into this maelstrom entered the tower- activities, and for Radaulphe to return to their minds were the horrors that had been ing figure of Bernard de Clairvaux -- in- the monastery, where church figures of his visited upon them by the First Crusade of vited  at the behest of the local bishops, vocation rightfully belong.  barely a half-century earlier. Murderous undoubtedly sensitive to the murderous To assure that this directive be obeyed, hordes, on their way to the Holy Land to events of the First Crusade, and vehe- Bernard traveled  to Germany, where he rid it of the infidel Moslems, had decided mently opposed, therefore, to the actions personally confronted the wayward monk first to turn their wrath upon the infidels in of Radaulphe,  at Mainz, and permanently  silenced him.

Radaulphe was sent back to his monastery, and disappeared from history. A collective sigh of relief would go up amongst the Jews of France and Germany. There would be no reenactment of the First Crusade; the angel of death was no longer lurking at their doors. As a result, though Jews had been set upon and killed during the initial stages of the Second Crusade, the extent of the carnage in no way approached that of the First Crusade. Bernard’s courageous actions (unlike those of Church officials of similar rank during the First Crusade) were prompted by theological positions, clearly spelled out in his letters to the bishops. The downtrodden status of the Jews, he explained, served as continuing witness to their rejection of Jesus. They had, therefore, been “dispersed into all regions  that ... they pay the just penalty of so great a crime.” Their continued existence, Bernard emphasized, must not be threatened, so that at the end of time, they may ultimately be converted to what he believed was the true faith. The Second Crusade was a military disaster, utterly failing in its mission of reinforcing the Christian position in the Holy Land. It was on Bernard that the entire responsibility for the debacle was placed -- having been the one who had first preached what became a failed crusade.  His respected status in the Church, however, survived. Bernard passed away in 1153 at the age of 63. Twenty one years later, in 1174, he was canonized, and till today is formally known by the name that is also that of the church in the Ancient Spanish Monastery on West Dixie Highway -- St. Bernard de Clairvaux. Dr. Norman A. Bloom resides with his family in North Miami Beach, FL. He’s a local scholar and student of Jewish History and Theology.


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home JULY 20, 2017 | The |Jewish Home JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home

Nine Days Menu mix ‘n’ match

So, it’s milchigs for the next few days. Does that mean pizza every night? We hope not. This year, mix up your family’s Nine Days dinners with delicious and interesting dishes to get their stomachs rumbling. Out of ideas? Don’t worry, TJH has your back. Choose from some of these delectable choices to enhance your supper table.

STARTERS

Eggrolls

Mushroom Crostini

AND

Garlic bread

Stuffed mushrooms

Fried haloumi with grilled vegetables

SOUPS

Broccoli Soup topped with Ricotta

Guacamole with Chips

Techina platter with falafel balls Tomato basil bruschetta

SALADS

Minestrone Soup

Spinach Strawberry Salad

Egg drop noodle soup

Corn Salsa

AND Watermelon and feta salad

Hot and Sour Soup

Three bean salad

Tomato soup with bread croutons French onion soup

Greek Salad

Waldorf salad Tossed salad

AND Tortellini soup

Crudité with Dip

Salad nicoise Caesar salad

Cold fruit soup Watermelon gazpacho

Tabbouleh salad

Asian coleslaw

Beet salad with feta


The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

MAINS

Teriyaki Salmon

Fettucine Alfredo

Blueberry Pancakes or Waffles

Homemade Pizza

Fish Tacos

Sushi

Cheese Blintzes

Spinach Frittata

Asian seared tuna

Veggie omelet

AND Tomato tart

Baked potato with broccoli

Hasselback potatoes with cheese Quesadillas

Veggie burgers

Portobello mushroom burgers

Spaghetti squash with cheese and marinara Vegetable calzones

Ricotta Pancakes

Mushroom Quiche

Grilled tilapia

Latkes with applesauce

Veggie wrap

Spinach lasagna

Rigatoni with roasted tomatoes

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Good Hum r

Fine Wine By Jon Kranz

S

ome Jews like to whine but others like to “wine,” that is, to responsibly consume appropriate amounts of alcohol in the form of grape-derived goodness. On Shabbat, Jews drink wine to make kiddush and havdalah. On Passover, Jews drink at least four cups of wine and even dip their fingers in one of them. At weddings, Jews drink wine under the chuppah for ritualistic reasons (and perhaps if someone is getting cold feet). So, we know that drinking wine is a part of certain Jewish rituals and customs but the question is: what are the factors that should be considered to help Jews appropriately and responsibly consume wine? Wine drinking is particularly prevalent on Purim, a holiday on which Jews actually are supposed to drink until they can no longer tell the difference between the hero and the villain. See, Talmud, Megillah (7b) “A person is obligated to drink on Purim until he does not know the difference between ‘cursed be Haman’ and ‘blessed be Mordechai.’” Of course, this is not the only litmus tests for sobriety vs. inebriation. For the record, you have overloaded on libations if you can no longer tell the difference between: (i) a matzah ball and a soccer ball, (ii) a hotdog and a hot dog, (iii) Levi’s Jeans and a Levi’s genes or (iv) Colombia the country, Columbia the university, and Columbia the outdoor apparel company. In other words, you are overly tipsy

if you think Kathmandu is a place where adult males dress and act like felines, or if you think that Bangkok is a place where drummers play percussion using fowl. It is important to recognize that Judaism and alcohol consumption are not synonymous, and one certainly does not automatically lead to the other. This also is true of other

will hear you coming from a mile away. You should not mix firecrackers with animal crackers, not even if your child is born on the Fourth of July. You should not mix cookies stored on computers with cookies stored in your pantry (and you absolutely should not puree your iPhone or iPad in an attempt to make “Apple” sauce).

Hora Beer – when you are in a discussion that is going around in circles

aspects of Jewish life. For instance, if you swing a live chicken over your head before Yom Kippur (as some Jews do), it does not automatically mean that you dislike animals. It does mean, however, that the dizzy chicken will not be terribly fond of you. Let’s make another thing perfectly clear: in Judaism, as in secular life, drinking and driving do not mix. Drinking also does not mix well with all sorts of other activities, like drinking and hair-cutting, drinking and tightrope walking, or drinking and open heart surgery. Of course, there are many other things in life that should not be mixed. You should not mix wiretapping and tap dancing because those you are spying on

The Talmud, in Pesachim 109a, states that wine should be (responsibly) consumed to help increase holiday happiness: “A person is obligated to gladden his children and the members of his household on a Festival, as it is stated: And you shall rejoice on your Festival . . . With what should one make them rejoice? With wine.” While wine may help some people rejoice, there are other things that do not put people in the mood to rejoice, including colicky infants, visiting day traffic, anti-climactic stories with no real payoff, unflattering parent-teacher conferences, cholent shortages, higher taxes, lice, and “The Godfather - Part III.” The Talmud, when describing rit-

ualistic consumption of alcohol, does not specifically refer to beer. That said, when you stop and think about it, there are many “untapped” names for Jewish-brewed beers. Here are some potential names for Jewish beers and corresponding slogans: Exodus Beer – when you really need to leave Hora Beer – when you are in a discussion that is going around in circles Gefilte Beer – when something fishy is going on Dreidel Beer – non-alcoholic beer for when you want to take your car out for a spin Noah’s Ark Beer – when you’re super thirsty and start drinking two by two Kotel Beer – when you’re exhausted and have totally hit a wall Matzah Beer – when you’re feeling flat Klutz Beer – when you need to drop what you’re doing Kippah Beer - when you need to blow your lid Hamantashen Beer – when you need to triangulate your position Havdalah Beer – when you’re initially angry and “incense”d, but then you see the light and wish everyone a good week. Bottom line: L’Chaim! Jon Kranz is an attorney living in Englewood, New Jersey. Send any comments, questions or insults to jkranz285@ gmail.com.


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The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican. - New York Times op-ed by columnist David Brooks who wrote how elites like himself are causing the “less educated” to be at a disadvantage

During World War II, Hungary did not comply with this moral and political requirement. This is a sin because at the time we decided that instead of protecting the Jewish community, we chose collaboration with the Nazis. I made it clear to the prime minister that this can never happen again. In the future, the Hungarian government will protect all its citizens. - Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban, at a press conference with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in Hungary this week

We will yield nothing to anti-Zionism, because it is the reinvented form of anti-Semitism.

I knew I could run because I’m always in the yard working, and when the phone rings, I go running inside to answer it. I thought it’d be fun to run 100 meters since I’m more than 100 years old. -101-year-old Julia “Hurricane” Hawkins, of Baton Rouge, who became the oldest female athlete to ever compete in the USA Track and Field Outdoors Masters Championships and ran the 100 meters in 40.12 seconds

[I] missed my nap for this. - Ibid.

- French President Emanuel Macron while visiting, along with Prime Minister Netanyahu, a site where thousands of French Jews were killed in the Holocaust

I think only a real Indian can defeat a fake Indian. -Republican Shiva Ayyadurai, who emigrated from India as a child and is taking on Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) – who has lied about being of Native American descent – in an interview with Fox News about how he plans on winning the 2018 Senate race for Massachusetts

White House chief of staff Reince Priebus has dismissed the latest TrumpRussia story as””a nothingburger.” When questioned about his really strange choice of words, he explained, “My name is Reince Priebus.” - Conan O’Brien

MORE QUOTES

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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A candidate has the right to get information from whatever source the information comes. If the material was obtained unlawfully, you prosecute, if you can, the people who obtain the material. But there is a First Amendment right of a candidate to use information. You can’t include information under the campaign finance law. That would be unconstitutional .- Alan Dershowitz, on Fox News, arguing that the Donald Trump Jr. meeting, which took place after being promised damaging information on Hillary from a Russian source, was perfectly legal

Ladies and gentlemen. - The long-time greeting used in London’s Tube (train system) which is now banned

Polar bears hurt by climate change are more likely to turn to a new food source — humans.

Hello, everyone

– Washington Post headline for an article last week about climate change

We’re the voices, the Senate leader and I, are the voices for winning those races in the House and the Senate, and we’re ready.

Want to fight climate change? Have fewer children

-The politically correct term that engineers are now required to use

- House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D- CA) in a recent radio interview, talking about herself and her cohort, Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

-The Guardian’s headline for an article last week about climate change

Two Iranian men have been indicted for allegedly hacking a Vermont defense technology firm, but one of their cohorts who admitted guilt won’t be punished because of a pardon President Barack Obama granted last year as part of the Iran-U.S. nuclear deal.

The amount of time you spend in desperation on a topic that has plummeted you to 13th place in viewership ranking across America — more people watch Nick at Night cartoons than CNN today. - White House deputy assistant Sebastian Gorka in a debate with CNN’s Alisyn Camerota

The Trump administration is deporting Latinos to make the streets safer… You wanna make the streets safer? Deport the police. – So-called “comedian” George Lopez

– Excerpt from a Politico article published on 7/17/17

Kid Rock has officially announced his candidacy for the U.S. Senate. Kid Rock says he wants to restore America back to a better time when it would have been unimaginable for Kid Rock to run for the U.S. Senate.

Instead of giving everyone a seat at the table, this White House is a locked down good ol’ boys network. For years – for years – Washington has talked about an axis of evil overseas. Well, there is an axis of evil here at home – oppression, suppression, and repression. - Sen. Elizabeth Warren talking about the Trump administration

- Conan O’ Brien

MORE QUOTES


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Health & F tness

Summer: The Perfect Time for Kids to Try New Foods By Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

T

he 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend that elementary school-aged children should consume 2 ½ cups of fruits and vegetables daily. Less than 10% of U.S. children consume the recommended amounts of fruits and vegetables. Summer brings a seasonal abundance of delicious new foods. Now is the perfect time to introduce new fruits and vegetables to the entire family. Try these produce superstars.

BERRIES There are many type of berries – blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, cranberries, blackberries, and goose berries – each with their unique texture, color, flavor and, let’s not forget, health benefits! All fruits contain antioxidants, however, berries are one of the best sources. There are many powerful antioxidants found in berries, including anthocyanins, quercetin, and vitamin C. Anthocyanins give berries their bright color, as well as reduce inflammation, thereby helping to prevent and manage arthritis. Anthocyanins also work together with quercetin to reduce age-related memory-loss. Another strong antioxidant found in berries is vitamin C. Vitamin C helps protect the body from infectious agents while serving as an antioxidant. High intakes of vitamin C have been shown to ward off certain cancers, heart disease,

reduce arthritic symptoms, and to minimize asthmatic problems. In addition to antioxidants, berries are “juicy foods,” which means they contain mostly water. The high water content keeps us hydrated and makes berries a great snack on these hot summer days.

keep trying. Experts believe that some kids need to be introduced to a certain food 20 times before developing a liking to it. Furthermore, the sun increases one’s appetite, so after a long, hot summer day, your kids might just gobble up anything.

AVOCADOS

Nothing says summer like a fresh slice of watermelon. This summer favorite is easy to eat and tastes great. Watermelons, as per their name, are made up of 90% water which helps keep us hydrated on

Do your kids resist fruits and vegetables? Marina Chaparro, MPH, RDN, LD, CDE, a spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, says to give the lush, buttery

WATERMELONS

Nothing says summer like a fresh slice of watermelon.

taste of avocados a shot. “Avocados are such a versatile food,” she says. “You can add them to tacos, as a spread with grilled cheese sandwiches or with some eggs and fruit in the morning. They contain hearthealthy monounsaturated fat as well as fiber, vitamin E, potassium and vitamin C.” Recently we discussed the importance of avocados for all ages. Although avocados are in season all year round, use this time to introduce avocado to your little ones. If they disliked it in the past,

these hot summer days. Watermelons are also rich in health-promoting phytonutrients and antioxidants essential for optimum health. Watermelon is a rich source of vitamin A, which is an important antioxidant and protects our immune system. A more commonly known form of vitamin A, beta-carotene, helps support good eyesight and prevents glaucoma. Vitamin A is also known for maintaining healthy skin. Beta-carotene, along with other antioxidants found in watermel-

on, lycopene, lutein, zeaxanthin and cryptoxanthin, have been found to protect the body from colon, prostate, breast, endometrial, lung, and pancreatic cancers.

TOMATOES Technically a fruit, tomatoes provide fiber, vitamins A and C, potassium, and other important vitamins and minerals. Tomatoes are famous for containing the antioxidant lycopene. Lycopene acts as an anti-inflammatory agent and helps fight free radicals. Lycopene has also been shown to prevent certain cancers and protect the skin from harmful UV rays which makes it important to consume high amounts of lycopene in the summer. The list can go on and on. All fruits and vegetables are healthy and should be included in your kids’ diets. Be creative and choose from a variety of fruits of vegetables to keep your loved ones healthy and hydrated on these sunny summer days. Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN, is a Master’s level Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist. She graduated CUNY Brooklyn College receiving a Bachelor’s in Science and Master’s degree in Nutrition and Food Sciences. She is currently a dietitian at Boro Park Center and a private nutrition consultant. She can be reached at

CindyWeinberger1@gmail.com.


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JULY 20, 2017 | The Florida Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Jewish Heroes of the Holocaust By Tammy Mark

“I

believe that acts of goodness, no matter Jew or non-Jew, need to be portrayed and need to stand

out.” Author and educator Dr. Mordecai Paldiel dedicated over two decades of his life seeking out and honoring the Righteous among the Nations, the valiant gentile men and women who risked their lives to save Jews during the Holocaust. It was a mission that he undertook with the deepest of devotion and appreciation. Throughout this journey Paldiel came across numerous stories of other heroes: the courageous Jewish heroes that put themselves in a danger even graver to save their fellow Jews from death.

Having written eight books on the subject of the Righteous Gentiles, Paldiel has now compiled some of the most inspiring and noteworthy stories of these unsung heroes into his latest book, Saving One’s Own – Jewish Rescuers during the Holocaust. Paldiel believes that it is due time to pay honor to these little known and virtually forgotten brave souls. Himself saved by a Catholic priest as a young child, Paldiel worked for Yad Vashem for 24 years. Yad Vashem - The World Holocaust Remembrance Center in Jerusalem, Israel, is known as the ultimate source for Holocaust education, documentation and research, and was the first of its kind. As director of the Department of Righteous

among the Nations, Paldiel’s job was to identify and honor non-Jews who risked their lives to save Jews during the Holocaust. During his time there Paldiel added 18,000 names to the registry, leaving Yad Vashem in 2007 with a total of 22,000 names of documented Righteous Gentiles. Today, there are over 26,000 names on record. Through these many years of intense research and verification, Paldiel would often learn of Jews involved in various rescue efforts. While in some instances the non-Jewish rescuers worked in tandem with the Jewish rescuers, in many others the Jewish rescuers were actually the prominent ones in the operation. “I kept wondering to myself, here

I am at Yad Vashem,” recalls Paldiel, “and how come nobody talks about the Jewish rescuers?” When he initially went to speak with the scholars and historians at Yad Vashem, Dr. Paldiel was told that there were very many instances of Jews helping Jews, and that one Jew helping another Jew is not a big deal – and in fact they were obligated to do that. Since a gentile that helped a Jew was not obligated to do it at all, the belief is if a gentile did indeed help then he must certainly be saluted. Paldiel explains that although under the Yad Vashem program of Righteous among the Nations a gentile saving one Jew is actually sufficient criteria for recognition, that wasn’t quite what he had in mind for


The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Family photo of the Paldiel family, taken in Antwerp, Belgium, in 1947 or 1948. Mordecai is standing at the top on the extreme right. He is pictured with his parents, Shlomo Yehezkiel and Hinde; his sisters, Annie (top, center), Leah (top, left), Frieda (bottom, extreme left), sisters Rebecca (on mother’s lap), Mania-Malk (bottom, right); brother Simon (leaning on his father); and his maternal grandmother, Yocheved Labin-Kanner (extreme right) the Jewish rescuers. Paldiel was intent on bringing to light the extraordinary stories of the bravest ones who went way above and farther beyond – the outstanding men and women who created elaborate plans and clandestine networks in efforts to save the lives of their fellow Jews. There were, in fact, cases of those who stayed behind to continue their efforts when they had opportunity to flee to safety. “I didn’t understand who decided that a Jew had to add risk on top of the risk because he was a Jew?” ponders Paldiel. “He was ‘obligated’?!” During his tenure at Yad Vashem, Paldiel met a man named Haim Roet. Roet was born in Holland and was saved as a teenager by a Dutch man who was honored as a Righteous Gentile. Roet launched a program across Israel called Unto Every Person There is a Name, where names of people who died in the Holocaust are read aloud on Yom Hashoah. Along the way, he too began to wonder about the Jewish rescuers – and he too was met with opposition when he approached Yad Vashem. Roet went on to form the Action Committee for the Recognition of Jewish Rescuers of Jews, a non-partisan civilian association, in hopes of convincing representatives of Yad Vashem to recognize the value

of the mission. The more Roet engaged with the educators and administrators of Yad Vashem about including and honoring the Jewish rescuers, the more resistance he encountered. His objective of adding this new concept to the existing programs of Yad Vashem was partially complicated by the fact that it wasn’t in the originally mandated law of Yad Vashem. The law which created Yad Vashem, legislated by the Knesset in 1953, only stated that the organization would

Mordecai Paldiel as a child in 1943 (Swiss police mug shot)

As a young child in Switzerland, 1944

cation process. Through his immersion and dedication to his department at Yad Vashem Paldiel came to be known as “Mr. Righteous Gentile” and was well qualified to advise on the challenge at hand. “We need a program so we can be proud of these people – they should serve as role models for our own purposes,” Paldiel asserts. “This in no way, in my opinion, would detract from what we’re doing with the Righteous Gentiles. I wrote eight books on the Righteous Gentiles –

him to finally tell the stories of the Jewish rescue efforts and the heroes that saved hundreds of their fellow Jews – and certainly time for these souls to be saluted and honored in some way.

“Why isn’t there a street in Israel named after her?” Paldiel wonders. “Name a street in Israel after her and people will ask, ‘Why Marianne Cohn?’ and then they will learn.” be obligated to honor the gentiles; honoring Jewish rescuers was simply not in the statutes. This drove Roet’s group to appeal to members of Knesset, requesting to amend the law to mandate Yad Vashem to expand the programming. An additional concern of the representatives at Yad Vashem was how they would go about determining whom to honor. Paldiel reassured them that just as with all nominations, there would be intense research, evaluations, and a verifi-

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but we also need this. These are your people’s heroes,” he explains. In 2007, with the discussion and debate still ongoing in Israel, Paldiel retired from his long-standing post at Yad Vashem and returned to the United States to join his children and grandchildren. He began teaching courses on the Holocaust and the history of Zionism at Yeshiva University and at Touro College. It was about four years ago when he decided the time had come to write his ninth book. He felt it was time for

A Zionist Mentality To Paldiel’s credit, after several years of much discussion and deliberation, Yad Vashem has this year agreed to accept and incorporate Jewish rescuers and heroes into their programming. “This will go to the credit of Yad Vashem now that they have taken on a program like this.” As other Holocaust centers look to Yad Vashem as the standard, Paldiel hopes they will follow suit. “I think this is something which should flow by itself without opposition. There’s nothing there that needs to be hidden. Everything here is positive and good. Not even Yad Vashem has questioned the data.” Paldiel tries to make sense of their initial opposition, reasoning that, in general, it is difficult to amend organizational goals. He recognizes two issues, one general, and one more specific but complex. One simple reason is that Yad Vashem is a very large and well-respected organization. Organizations in general don’t operate by the suggestions of


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At the Kotel after its liberation during the Six Day War. Mordecai is in the middle with the beard and the hat

those outside the organization, or look to change gears from the mission and good work they are already engaged in. “The main reason, though, is the mentality in Israel, the Zionist ethos under which Israel was established,” asserts Paldiel. “When Zionism was created, the basic message of Zionism was that Jews living in the diaspora are defenseless and they are submissive and they don’t know how to handle themselves when they come upon danger – except to flee from one country to another country.” The widely accepted history was that during the Holocaust Jews went like proverbial sheep to the slaughter; they did nothing, and that’s why the State of Israel was needed. “We needed to create a new type of Jew, a Jew that was not a submissive. So we fought. We fought the Arabs, we won; we fought another war, and we won. This is the new Jew, the muscular Jew – Samson, David and Goliath. But in the diaspora we don’t have that mentality,” Paldiel elaborates. “That was the main message of Zionism. Zionism derided diaspora Judaism.” Paldiel further examines the atmosphere surrounding the creation of Yad Vashem and how it wasn’t created until mandated by law. The attitude at the time was to shield the Israeli youth from knowing about this so-called shameful and humiliating chapter in Jewish history where Jews “allowed” themselves to

Placing a wreath on the tomb of Oskar Schindler in Jerusalem, surrounded by persons he saved, in 1994

be killed in such great numbers. He explains that it was not the example they wanted to show. The mentality of what the Holocaust represented was diaspora Jewry at its worst – defenseless, hopeless, submissive. He explains that even at the time that the Knesset debated when to finally establish Yom Hashoah they decided that the commemoration would be between Passover and Israel Independence Day. “Why? The message: Passover, liberation; Holocaust, downfall; State of Israel, redemption. And that the State of Israel took us out of the Holocaust. So it is tucked in between these two dates. “When you talk about Jewish rescuers you show the Jewish people in the diaspora – not necessarily Zionists – who did get the right message, who did decide that they were going to try to take on the Nazis by saving Jews and trying to figure out how to create clandestine organizations. They were going to help Jews either alone or with the help of gentiles,” says Paldiel. “These are assertive people – not submissive, not standing by. This shows that also in the diaspora Jews can also take care of themselves, in spite of the great odds of the Nazi regime.” The mentality in Israel has slowly been changing, says Paldiel. “We are vulnerable even with our military prowess; we have to have an open mind for Jews outside of Israel who did something.”

A Band of Heroes Stories of the extraordinary efforts of gentile heroes have been portrayed in the media and widely disseminated, from the iconic award-winning Schindler’s List to

With the Raoul Wallenberg tree at Yad Vashem

the 2017 movie The Zookeeper’s Wife recounting the story of how Antonina and Jan Zabinski saved the lives of 300 Jews in their Warsaw Zoo. Although the exceptional story of the Jewish Bielski brothers was depicted in the 2008 major mo-


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Rabbi Weissmandl, who tried to "buy" Jews from the Germans

tion picture Defiance, countless other stories of Jewish rescuers are still ripe to be told. Dr. Paldiel’s book, Saving One’s Own, organized by country, includes remarkable stories of remarkable people. The foremost example that Dr. Paldiel cites is that of the Bielski brothers, the Polish Jewish brothers, Tuvia, Asael, Zus and Aharon, who established a large partisan camp in the forests of Belarus. While there are many stories told of Jews who fled to the forest and joined partisan organizations, those who joined were young, able-bodied and in some cases were required to come with a gun. All who could not fit the qualifications of fighting age were not admitted to the partisan groups – with the sole exception of the Bielski brothers’ group. The Bielski brothers, led by Tuvia, said that any Jew that flees into the forest could join; they accepted any Jewish person no matter how old or weak. The Bielskis had decided to both save and fight, at whatever the risk to the group, and for every one fighter there were about three people in the forest who were not fighting. The Bielskis succeeded in saving over 1,200 Jews from the Nazis, largely women and children and elderly, and their group considered one of the largest rescue operations of Jews by Jews. After the war, the partisans disbanded. Tuvia went with Zus to Israel and then to America, settling in Brooklyn. To make a living Tuvia procured a truck and dealt in mov-

Marianne Cohn, a young hero

Members of the Bielski partisan group - Photo from Yad Vashem

ing furniture but struggled to make ends meet. Tuvia Bielski died in 1987, with his heroic efforts mostly unknown, while other Jewish partisans were hailed and celebrated. Paldiel expresses his dismay. “He was completely forgotten by the Jewish community. When he died here, no one paid attention, no one knew – nothing. The Jewish community overlooked it. Here’s a Jewish person who created a network in the forest, saved over 1,000 Jews, not even a handshake…” laments Dr. Paldiel. “So he’s dead and buried now; he has children and grandchildren but it’s a shameful thing. We honor someone – a non-Jewish person who saved one Jew – we give him a medal, we give him a certificate, we plant a tree for him at Yad Vashem. “A story like the Bielski brothers – you should teach it to Jewish children and show them and say, here’s a fellow who fought the Germans but he saved more than he fought. His message was, ‘I am here to save my people.’”

boarded trains without knowing where it was heading, many knew and tried to alert people of the danger their people were facing. Jews from all walks of Jewish affiliation reached out to help their fellow Jews. Rabbi Zalman Schneerson, the scion of the Lubavitcher Hasidic sect, suffered severe persecution under the Communist regime in the Soviet Union for spreading religious teachings, yet years later he bravely established two homes for adults and children in need in France during the war. The charismatic Rabbi Schneerson also ran a yeshiva and a vocational school and was able to maintain good relations with the police for some time. He was even able to have his radio technology school registered as a “labor group,” saving many students from being taken to labor camps. Later on Rabbi Schneerson would have to go into hiding, moving the children from chateau to chateau to stay ahead of the Germans. Ultimately, when many of the children in his care were taken and deported to Auschwitz, the rabbi remained with the several dozen surviving children until France’s liberation. During his research Paldiel discovered that he was one of the fortunate children who had been hidden in Rabbi Schneerson’s children home in Marseilles for a few months. Rabbi Michael Dov-Ber Weissmandl from Slovakia tried tirelessly to move others to action in saving the Jews. He crafted the Europa Plan –

Heroic Leaders Contrary to the idea that the Jews had no idea or guidance, Saving One’s Own opens with the quotes of Jewish leaders throughout Europe warning their fellow Jews to leave and be aware of what was happening; imploring them to hide, flee and do anything to not be taken and not to board the trains. While many indeed

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a bold and elaborate ploy to “negotiate” with the Nazis. Not a diplomat but a Talmudic scholar, Rabbi Weissmandl took advantage of the Nazi propaganda that proclaimed that the Jews were powerful and controlled the world and that the war was actually launched by Jews to destroy Germany. Weissmandl fabricated documents claiming that he was a delegate of the secret Jewish government and was sent to negotiate a deal. These documents eventually made it to S.S. Commander Heinrich Himmler, and to Rabbi Weissmandl’s shock, Himmler was willing to negotiate. It was 1942 and Himmler, realizing that Germany alone could not win the war, thought he could be a hero by preventing Germany from going down in defeat. Himmler told Rabbi Weissmandl that for the sum of $2 million they could halt the Holocaust in France and Belgium – with $200,000 up front. Rabbi Weissmandl immediately scrambled to raise these funds, reaching out to Jewish organizations and joint distribution funds but was met with skepticism and resistance. He was fully willing to take the monetary risk in efforts to stop a few trains or to save even a few Jews. After repeated failed attempts and stalling Himmler for a while, Rabbi Weissmandl had to eventually abort the mission. His efforts weren’t completely for naught. He was able to bribe the Slovaks for a period of time, saving thousands of Jews from death.


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Rabbi Zalman Schneerson with Rabbi Kotujanski in Paris after the war

Some boys at the Yeshiva of Eragny, led by Rabbi Schneerson

Marianne Cohn and Her Children

was managed by the Jewish federation in Switzerland, and his parents were interred in a camp for adults. After the war the family went back to Belgium and in 1950 came to America, where Paldiel went to a Lubavitch yeshiva high school and then Washington Irving in New York City. Paldiel was trained by his fa-

Dr. Paldiel tells another story of a Jewish woman named Marianne Cohn. Born in Germany, Cohn fled first to Spain and then to France. When the Germans came into France, Cohn joined the Jewish underground where she was assigned to smuggle Jewish children across the border into Switzerland. This was done in secret collaboration with Jewish people on the Swiss side who would meet the children. Cohn went on several trips, taking groups of 20-50 children across the border at night until May of 1944, when a German patrol arrested Cohn and took the children. Cohn remained in prison there until the eve of the German retreat, when she was taken out to the forest and brutally shot and killed at the age of 22, tortured before her death for her refusal to give information. There were two Frenchmen along on that last trip who were hired to take the children on their trucks to a certain point at the border. They too were arrested but released. These Frenchmen were later honored by Yad Vashem as Righteous Gentiles, yet Marianne Cohn – the leading spirit who was successful in saving over 200 children – received nothing. There are schools in both France and Germany named after her and a stone is placed on her house in Berlin marking her noble efforts and her tragic murder. “Why isn’t there a street in Israel named after her?” Paldiel wonders.

“Name a street in Israel after her and people will ask, ‘Why Marianne Cohn?’ and then they will learn.” Paldiel’s frustration is strong – he wants to shout it out. He wants to educate the Jewish children about Marianne Cohn and explain what she did. “That is the purpose of this book – which I hope will also be translated into Hebrew.” Saving One’s Own is filled with story after story illustrating the great pains these Jewish heroes went through to save their fellow Jews at tremendous risk to their own lives. Paldiel’s 400 page tome couldn’t possibly cover all that needed to be told and he even had to edit the book down by twenty percent. Needless to say, he is gratified that the many included stories will be made public and his efforts will finally come to fruition.

His Journey Although he initially found his position at Yad Vashem posted on a job board in Israel, Dr. Paldiel couldn’t be more suited to this mission. “I was saved by a Catholic priest in France who arranged for us to cross into Switzerland,” he explains. Born Marcus Wajsfeld in Belgium in 1937, Paldiel and his family fled to France when the Germans invaded. In France the family went from one place to another place until fatefully crossing into Switzerland. The second of six children, Paldiel was taken to a children’s home that

ther as a diamond polisher, working a few years in the Diamond District to help his father support the family, until he was eventually drafted into the U.S. Army. His parents and siblings, who all kept the original family name of Wajsfeld, landed in Brooklyn and in Israel. In 1962, upon completion of his


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Mordecai Paldiel with his rescuer, Simon Gallay, in 1990

military service, Paldiel decided to make aliyah and then served in the Israeli Army and studied at Hebrew University. He met his wife, Rachel, an Israeli of Iraqi descent, and together they had three children. Their oldest daughter, Sigalit, was born a few days before the Six Day War. When the war broke out, Rachel and the newborn hid in the building’s bomb shelter as Mordecai went back to fight the war. Afterwards, he worked a few jobs before returning back to the States to further his education, receiving his M.A. and Ph.D. in Holocaust Studies from Temple University in Philadelphia. Paldiel returned to Israel in 1982. It was at that time that his trajectory was set. A friend had helped him secure a job as a Yiddish on-air announcer, yet something drew him to visit an employment office on King George Street. It was there on the office bulletin board that Paldiel saw the notice that Yad Vashem was looking to hire. Despite his intensive education in Holocaust studies, he hadn’t yet heard of the program for Righteous Gentiles. Nevertheless, he interviewed at Yad Vashem, got the job, and remained there until 2007. His work at Yad Vashem understandably led him to thinking about his own experiences and wondering if the cleric who saved him was still alive. Paldiel’s parents were living in Boro Park at the time. He wrote to his parents and urged them to send him all the information about the cleric and the circumstances of how they met him as best as they could

A recent photo of Dr. Paldiel

recall. One of the most meaningful encounters for Paldiel occurred the day a French monk came to see him at Yad Vashem. In Israel on assignment, the robed monk stopped into the office to check on somebody’s tree before heading back to France. Paldiel took advantage of this rare opportunity to ask if perhaps the

Dr. Paldiel with his family at Holocaust Memorial Park in Brooklyn

Today, the traditionally observant Paldiel and his wife Rachel do their best to pass on Jewish pride to their children and five grandchildren, sharing holidays together at their home in New Jersey. Oldest daughter Sigalit “Siggy” works on television and has used the medium to highlight her Israeli and Jewish heritage, even filming her father

“‘I’m the man that arranged for your family to cross over into Switzerland,’ it said, and I almost fell off my chair,” Paldiel recalls.

monk would help find the cleric that had saved his family. The monk agreed to take the information and left. Paldiel thought it was a long shot until a few weeks later he received a postcard from the priest himself. “‘I’m the man that arranged for your family to cross over into Switzerland,’ it said, and I almost fell off my chair,” Paldiel recalls. Paldiel started corresponding with him. On September 19, 1989, Yad Vashem recognized Abbe’ Simon Gallay, the French Catholic cleric who saved six-year-old Mordecai and his family 46 years earlier. In 1990, Paldiel visited Gallay, who was then in a retirement home in France, to award him the prestigious Righteous Among the Nations medal and to give him a certificate of honor. The two were joined at the ceremony by a bishop, a rabbi, local yeshiva boys, and the Israeli ambassador.

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saying kiddush for a Shabbat dinner scene (the filming in actuality took place on a Wednesday). Paldiel lectures widely and has even spoken at the United Nations, giving the keynote address at the United Nations Holocaust Memorial Ceremony to the General Assembly in 2013. Paldiel continues to teach courses in Y.U. and at Touro. He would love to spend more time talking about the rescuers but typically doesn’t get that far in the curriculum. He explains that although the students are eager to learn, he needs to make sure they first have a solid grasp of the dates and other details of the Holocaust. He makes sure to tell them a few of the stories of Jewish heroes, such as those of Bielski and Cohn, but insists that they focus more on understanding the history and the timeline of the horrors. Paldiel also teaches the back-

ground of Zionism and all its ups and downs, and that the State of Israel came into being through many efforts – and also miraculously. “No one could foresee it was going to happen. That’s my message – nothing should be taken for granted as a Jewish person. We have to be on guard and we have to be vigilant. There are always people trying to end our history by conversion or assimilation throughout history,” he notes. Paldiel strongly believes that the stories of these heroes need to keep being told and that each Holocaust Remembrance Day should include stories of the Jewish heroes alongside the tragic stories. “There is so much evil and bad things in the world and people sometimes forget that civilization is based on acts of goodness – if there’s no goodness then the whole thing would collapse. Because of good people and people who devote themselves to help others – even at risk to themselves – that gives encouragement, that’s the medicine that helps people to get over things,” says Paldiel. “Maybe one day goodness will be the more prominent feature in human behavior…but at least we have these examples.” “This is not something that somebody imagined and wrote about. It happened,” Paldiel says, “The people who did these things – these heroes – were people that we can identify with, that did it for the simple reason that it had to be done – and not because they expected a medal or a tree.”


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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I got married around eight months ago to Shira. Shira is a wonderful girl, and she is everything I had hoped for. The reason I’m writing to you is because ever since we got married I am shocked to see how connected Shira is still to her mother. When we were dating and engaged, I knew that she was super close to her mother and thought it was kind of sweet since my relationship with my parents is respectful but formal. I certainly don’t pour my heart out to them, and when I need advice, they are close to the last people I turn to for good advice. I thought it was so special that Shira would call her mother several times a day and also call her father at least once a day. I loved witnessing their closeness. But I just assumed that once we got married, I would take over for a good portion of those times. I am finding that it not the case. Though I consider my relationship with Shira to be a good one and I feel that we are getting closer all the time, when something comes up, I’ve noticed she will feel the need to tell her mother about it before she tells me. I happen to like my in-laws very much and have a fine relationship with them. But I’m finding myself feeling jealous of them because of the special place they hold with Shira. I know this must sound very childish and certainly immature, but I can’t help myself from feeling like I’m not where I should be with Shira. I want to be number one in Shira’s mind. Now I’m number 2 or number 3. I know I need to speak to her about it because I find myself getting angry at times but I don’t want her to think I’m a child. Any suggestions about how a newish husband like myself should approach this conversation with his wife? And while I’m at it, let me ask you this: am I correct to expect to be No. 1?

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.


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The Florida Jewish Home | JULY 20, 2017

The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

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t’s really smart of you to reach out for help during shana rishona. Both parties in a new marriage have a lot of adjustments to make and skills to learn in order to have a good strong marriage. You are honest with the panel and you are understanding of Shira’s past closeness with her parents. Recognition that you’re angry about her turning to her mother first and that you feel that you are not her number one is something you want to communicate about. That’s good. It’s how to communicate that is the challenge. And simply coming out with it is not the way to go. All of your pent up anger and feelings may

be too much for Shira to handle and really hear. People get defensive in new relationships where there is a lot at stake. You need to build trust and a comfort zone in both directions with Shira. She also has feelings that should be shared but isn’t doing that yet. How to communicate so that you are heard and that you feel safe is something you can learn together in a healthy, non-threatening atmosphere through the Shalom Workshops. These workshops, which are offered to newlyweds and other couples by the Shalom Taskforce, are led by trained facilitators including social workers, rabbis and kallah teachers who get certified in this nationally accredited healthy marriage training called PAIRS. Hundreds of engaged and mar-

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ried frum couples have taken the workshops (which run several sessions and are offered in group or private settings), with which I am very familiar. The content covers many relationship issues, financial issues and practice sessions plus matters that are unique to observant couples. This is a good start. It will help you talk and share in non-threatening ways so that you can be understood. If you feel that your communication skills need more help, consider going into couple’s therapy. But the workshops are recommended first – they are non-threatening and have become almost a rite of passage for new couples in our communities. Meanwhile, on a day-to-day basis, try to be warm and show that you’re caring. Don’t create a problem by bringing up the workshops. Propose enrolling after talking to some of your friends. Give it the context of “let’s make our new marriage as best as could be. Let’s do this for ourselves; it’s a gift to ourselves to make our relationship even better.”

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ou guys sound very young. Shira – running to her parents to discuss every tidbit of your day. You – disappointed and, dare I say, jealous that you are not number one in her life. There’s a sure-fire cure for your problems. TIME. In time your connection as marrieds will grow stronger. In time, you will have built more common experiences to discuss and delight in. In time, you will have forged the relationship that makes you each number one in the other’s mind. This affinity and trust between the two of you does not happen overnight or even in eight months of marriage. Communication may expedite the process. Tell Shira how you feel;

This affinity and trust between the two of you does not happen overnight or even in eight months of marriage. skip the part about being number one. Creating an awareness that “now we are a couple” will hopefully make her more sensitive to your needs as a husband/sounding board/confidante/friend.

Another Shadchan Michelle Mond

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married woman’s obligations to her husband supersede her obligation to honor her parents in situations where she must choose between the two. (See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 240:17) Shira’s relationship with you should be number one. It is very nice that she has a wonderful relationship with her parents but it sounds like she must learn ways to cut the cord. Start with a non-threatening, loving conversation about it. If she does not know it is a problem, she will not know to change. Tell her the things that bother you,and how much you appreciate her loving family. However, make it clear that you are feeling second in her life. If she is not able to hear you, try making a meeting with the two of you and a rav/mentor who she admires to help moderate this difficult conversation. Try to convey that although her relationship with her parents is very admirable, now that you’re married the two of you should be one unit that puts each other first and foremost. Hatzlacha with this discussion; iy”H it should just bring you closer!

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The Other Shadchan Tzipporah Feldman

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ometimes singles see red flags while they are dating and misread the content behind the behavior. Understanding it to be sweet or cute. In your case, on some level you probably felt that the enmeshment between Shira and her parents was definitely on the extreme side but you chose to view it from an admiring perspective since your own relationship with your parents may have been wanting in some ways. The point is, you shouldn’t be surprised by Shira’s behavior now that you are married. Someone who is ready to get married should not be calling her parents, collectively, four or five times a day. That doesn’t reflect a great deal of maturity or independence. It sounds like Shira has some growing up to do and some realignment to do regarding who is number one in her life.

You are not wrong to be feeling slighted. As Shira’s husband, you should hold the number 1 slot. That is what a good marriage is all about. Expressing this to her, however, may not be easy. Shira is already programmed to behave in a certain way and changing behaviors is never easy. I suggest that you and Shira work with a couple therapist who can talk about the rules of engagement that is typical for a healthy marriage. Coming from you, without the support of a professional, may come off sounding controlling and judgmental, and that’s the last thing Shira needs to feel. It will send her running right back to her parents for validation. But if you deal with this issue in the safety of a professional’s office, it will sound safe and helpful. Marriage is all about learning how to be one’s best self. It takes time and work. Hopefully, Shira will be willing to put in both the time and the work, and together you will

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

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azel tov on your newish marriage and thanks for writing in! Sometimes we know something feels wrong but we bury our heads in the sand, hoping for a new outcome or reality the next time we come up for air. While this strategy keeps the peace in the short term, it can be a recipe for disaster long-term. Kudos to you for recognizing there is an issue in your marriage, acknowledging it, and reaching out for help. Hopefully, you are already on your way to a closer, more intimate relationship with Shira. Generally speaking, in healthy

marriages there is a pecking order. 1. Spouse 2. Children 3. Parents This list does not mean we love one more person more than another. G-d forbid, and quite the opposite. It means that in order to love each person on this list to the best of our abilities, we must prioritize our loved ones in this order. Now, of course, if your child is performing in a play and your husband has a cold, you leave your husband at home and go see your child’s performance.

forge ahead in the best way possible.

The Single

Learning how to set boundaries around your relationship is the “work” of marriage.

Tova Wein totally understand where you’re coming from and think you have every right to feel that you are being undermined by Shira’s relationship with her parents. I’m sure the dynamic between her and her parents is complicated and not the healthiest in terms of normal boundaries – especially now that she is married to you. I’m wondering how well the two of you communicate in general. Are you both able to talk about what bothers you, in a mature way, without either of your feeling defensive? If that’s the case, then this should be a conversation that the two of you can have with good results. It’s p o s s i b l e that Shira doesn’t even

I

realize that you expect to be her first call when she has something important to share. Sometimes, we just assume we know that the other person is thinking and are far from the truth. Hopefully, hearing from you how it feels to be her second or third phone call is news to her and something she can work on, knowing that it causes you distress. If Shira reacts dismissively, as if your feelings aren’t relevant and important, then you’ll probably have to bring in the professionals! But hopefully, as with so many other issues that come up during the first year or so of marriage, this reality will be something that Shira can appreciate and respect and work on.

(Sorry Hubs, I’ll leave you some Kleenex and Ricola on the night table). Or, if G-d forbid your mother falls or your father needs you to help him put up his sukkah, you are there and your spouse will understand. Children benefit from putting your spouse first because they feel most secure and well-adjusted when Mom and Dad are actively loving and warm with each other. And your parents benefit from being the third priority (or in your case, the second) because parents want what is best for their children. And healthy, evolved parents want their married children to make their spouses numero uno because they know when the spouse is not numero uno it will cause tension in

their marriages. And when there is tension in the marriage, their child is not happy. So, generally speaking, this pecking order should work for everyone. (However, there are those spouses and parents of said spouses who missed the memo and for reasons unique to each family system, maintain the belief that the nuclear family of origin is the main priority and the spouse comes second.) Let’s do a little reality check. It’s not as if Shira duped you. She was spending this kind of “intense” time with her parents before you got married. The wool wasn’t pulled over your eyes, nor did she pull a switcheroo. What you once found endearing is now frustrating and causing you to feel angry. Learning how to set boundaries around your relationship is the “work” of marriage. For some couples it comes naturally, and others have to work at it, i.e. how much time do we spend together? How much time do we spend apart? How


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type of guy who would do that, but just in case others are reading this … we can’t tell a spouse what to do. That usually backfires. Rather, you are going to approach her with a lot of “I messages,” telling her how you feel, instead of telling her what she is doing wrong. WHAT NOT TO SAY: “You spend way too much time talking on the phone with your parents. I’m finding myself really angry. I even wrote into this therapist in a newspaper and she agreed with me, saying you should put me before your parents.” SAY SOMETHING MORE ALONG THE LINES OF: “I’m crazy about you and you know I love your family. I also love and respect the close relationship you have with your parents. I just feel like you go to your mom before you come to me, about small things and important things … and it makes me feel uncertain about your feelings for me.

I wanted to tell you this because I love you and I don’t want to hold anything back from you. I also want to work on this together, so we can take both of our needs into account.” If Shira has a great reaction – you’re golden. You can collaborate and compromise and come up with a plan that works for both of you. If she outright disagrees, or you find that you cannot compromise, it is then that you should see a couple’s therapist to help you navigate the touchy subject matters of her family and the lack of boundaries built around your marriage. Remember, you married a woman who always prioritized her family, so be prepared for some pushback. You and Shira come from two different worlds with regard to your relationships with parents. It can take some time for couples to fully emerge from their “old worlds” and create a new one, together. Hopefully this

is nothing more than a little shana rishona misunderstanding. It happens all the time. These things can always be worked out with two willing parties. All the best, Jennifer

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

EX G CL RE U AT SI VE W E Q DD UA IN LI G TY G FA IFT BR ! IC S!

much time do we spend with parents? With friends? How much do we share with our parents? How can we both get our needs met, honoring our marriage and honoring our healthy need to spend time apart? We teach people how to treat us. You never put the message out there that you’d like to feel like more of a priority to Shira. For all she knows, this arrangement is working beautifully. She found a man who understands the importance of her family. She can’t fix what she doesn’t yet know about. What to do about this situation? You wrote that you don’t want her to see you as childish. I want to validate how “unchildish” your feelings are. I think you do need to talk with her (unless you are satisfied with the status quo). And I think it can be done tastefully and lovingly. You aren’t going to throw orders around… you don’t strike me as the

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105

Political Crossfire

Bungled Collusion is Still Collusion By Charles Krauthammer

T

he Russia scandal has entered a new phase and there’s no going back. For six months, the White House claimed that this scandal was nothing more than innuendo about Trump campaign collusion with Russia in meddling in the 2016 election. Innuendo for which no concrete evidence had been produced. Yes, there were several meetings with Russian officials, some only belatedly disclosed. But that is circumstantial evidence at best. Meetings tell you nothing unless you know what happened in them. We didn’t. Some of these were casual encounters in large groups like the famous July 2016 Kislyak-Sessions exchange of pleasantries at the Republican National Convention. Big deal. I was puzzled. Lots of cover-up, but where was the crime? Not even a third-rate burglary. For six months, smoke without fire. Yes, President Trump himself was acting very defensively, as if he were hiding something. But no one ever produced the something. My view was: Collusion? I just don’t see it. But I’m open to empirical evidence. Show me. The evidence is now shown. This is not hearsay, not fake news, not unsourced leaks. This is an email chain released by Donald Trump Jr. himself. A British go-between writes that there’s a Russian government effort to help Trump Sr.

win the election, and as part of that effort he proposes a meeting with a “Russian government attorney” possessing damaging information on Hillary Clinton. Moreover, the Kremlin is willing to share troves of incriminating documents from the Crown Prosecutor. (Error: Britain has a Crown Prosecutor. Russia has a State Prosecutor.) Donald Jr. emails back. “I love it.” Fatal words.

ateur collusion, comically failed collusion. That does not erase the fact that three top Trump campaign officials were ready to play. It may turn out that they did later collaborate more fruitfully. We don’t know. But even if nothing else is found, the evidence is damning. It’s rather pathetic to hear Trump apologists protesting that it’s no big deal because we Americans are always intervening in other people’s

Lots of cover-up, but where was the crime? Not even a third-rate burglary. Once you’ve said “I’m in,” it makes no difference that the meeting was a bust, that the intermediary brought no such goods. What matters is what Donald Jr. thought going into the meeting, as well as Jared Kushner and then-campaign manager Paul Manafort, who were copied on the correspondence, invited to the meeting, and attended. “It was literally just a wasted 20 minutes, which was a shame,” Donald Jr. told Sean Hannity. A shame? On the contrary, a stroke of luck. Had the lawyer real stuff to deliver, Donald Jr. and the others would be in far deeper legal trouble. It turned out to be incompetent collusion, am-

elections, and they in ours. You don’t have to go back to the ‘40s and ‘50s when the CIA intervened in France and Italy to keep the communists from coming to power. What about the Obama administration’s blatant interference to try to defeat Benjamin Netanyahu in the latest Israeli election? One might even add the work of groups supported by the U.S. during Russian parliamentary elections – the very origin of Vladimir Putin’s deep animus toward Hillary Clinton, then secretary of state, whom he accuses of having orchestrated the opposition. This defense is pathetic for two reasons. First, have the Trumpites

not been telling us for six months that no collusion ever happened? And now they say: Sure it happened. So what? Everyone does it. What’s left of your credibility when you make such a casual aboutface? Second, no, not everyone does it. It’s one thing to be open to opposition research dug up in Indiana. But not dirt from Russia, a hostile foreign power that has repeatedly invaded its neighbors (Georgia, Crimea, Eastern Ukraine), that buzzes our planes and ships in international waters, that opposes our every move and objective around the globe. Just last week the Kremlin killed additional U.N. sanctions we were looking to impose on North Korea for its ICBM test. There is no statute against helping a foreign hostile power meddle in an American election. What Donald Jr. – and Kushner and Manafort – did may not be criminal. But it is not merely stupid. It is also deeply wrong, a fundamental violation of any code of civic honor. I leave it to the lawyers to adjudicate the legalities of unconsummated collusion. But you don’t need a lawyer to see that the Trump defense – collusion as a desperate Democratic fiction designed to explain away a lost election – is now officially dead. (c) 2017, The Washington Post Writers Group


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