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NOVEMBER 24, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Dear Readers, one stop for a few moments to breathe a sigh

Dear Readers,

We all thought that when the elections were of relief that Clinton never nominated them,

Oded Tzur

finally over, we’d be able to get some respite and then we all moved on. But it’s been hard

PUBLISHER publisher@thefloridajewishhome.com

from the chaos of the last two months. But to move on. I hate to admit that a lot of the

Dina Tzur

since November 8, when pursuing the news, talk at my Shabbat table last week was not I find it almost impossible to avoid the word about the Parsha. How he won, why he won, Trump. Every selection he makes for his Cab- what his policies are, what’s so bad about inet is analyzed. In previous elections, when her, what will the next four years be like – a president-elect selected someone for their we just couldn’t get away from the T-word. Cabinet, it made a headline or two and barely The conversation at the table was interestanyone registered the event. The only time I ing since we hosted some people who voted remember a scandal coming from a selection for Clinton and others who voted for Trump. came more than twenty years ago, when Bill They all came away with the sentiment that Clinton had the misfortune of nominating two it’s OK to disagree and I am sure that in four women for attorney general who happened to years the conversation will be a lot different. have employed illegal immigrants as nannies This weeks issue features an article about for their children. At the time, it made every- The Elecoral College and how it works in the election. Also featured in this issue is an

Contents

article about Israeli Innovations that can save your life. Have a wonderful thanks-

COMMUNITY Around the Community

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NEWS Global

giving break! Very Best, Dina

SENIOR EDITOR editor@thefloridajewishhome.com

Shoshana Soroka COPY EDITOR

Ronit Segal

ASSISTANT EDITOR

Yitzy Halpern

MANAGING PUBLISHER

Judah Shapiro

ACCOUNTING MANAGER

Berish Edelman Design & Production

Advertisements, Classifieds & Real Estate

ads@thefloridajewishhome.com realestate@thefloridajewishhome.com classifieds@thefloridajewishhome.com 305-467-9003 561-374-2005 The Jewish Home is an independent weekly magazine. Opinions expressed by writers are not necessarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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Israel 5 National 6 That's Odd

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FEATURE The Electoral College - Disaster or Genius?

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Israeli Innovations that Could Save your Life

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PEOPLE Dating Dialogue

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Political Crossfire

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JEWISH THOUGHT

Shabbos Zmanim

Parsha Perceptions

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Torah Thought

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Psychology Today

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Parshas Chayei Sara 5:07

Ways to Engage your Teenagers

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En Espanol

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Parshas Toldos 5:06

En Français

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HUMOR Centerfold

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Notable Quotes

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Candle Lighting

Shabbos Ends Parshas Chayei Sara 6:11 Parshas Toldos 6:10


The Florida Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 24, 2016

F R O M

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NOVEMBER 24, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

The Week In News The Week In News

Looking to Move?

The 2016 presidential election has thankfully concluded, but its tumultuous journey had many Americans making promises they probably won’t keep. Now we’re all guilty of having said things we don’t mean in heated moments, but for those who really keep their word, here is a list of the best places for expats (indi-

viduals who choose to leave their home country). Canada is an obvious choice for many disgruntled Americans: it’s close by and they speak English. In fact, on election night, Canada’s immigration website had so much traffic that it crashed. But there are many other options that offer the benefits of Canada, if not more. Earlier this year Vienna was crowned the world’s best city for expats in 2016, according to consulting firm Mercer’s 18th annual study of foreign workers’ overseas lifestyles. Its darling coffee shops, rich culture, and grand architecture make it a very attractive destination in addition to its overall quality of life. Popular cities, like New York, London, Paris, and Hong Kong, surprisingly didn’t even make it to the top 20. Where are the best places to head to if you’re fleeing a Trump presidency? The top 5 cities for expats are: 1. Vienna, Austria 2. Zurich, Switzerland 3. Auckland, New Zealand 4. Munich, Germany 5. Vancouver, Canada The study analyzed 440 cities based on standards of safety, health, schools, recreation, environment, public services and consumer goods. The highest ranked American city is San Francisco at number 28, followed by

Boston at 34, Honolulu at 35, Chicago at 43 and New York at 45. Despite being the scene of a brutal terror attack last year, Paris is the 37th best country for expats to reside. The Middle East’s best city for expats is Dubai in spot 75. Asia’s top slot was nabbed by Singapore, which garnered spot number 26 on the list. Start packing!

against the Jews during the Holocaust. The establishments on the list were all contacted by MBR (the Mobile Counsel against Right-wing Extremism) and Volker Beck, a Green Party Lawmaker. Beck told local reporters that he was “disgusted” by the post and said he would “stand with the Jewish community.” “I see this as an attack against our open society. This is an attack against us all,” Beck declared.

Iran Violates Neo-Nazis Make Nuclear Deal Kristallnacht Anniversary Threat On the 78th anniversary of Kristallnacht, a Berlin-based neo-Nazi group posted a map of 70 current Jewish institutions and businesses on their Facebook page. The map, showing addresses and location of the Jewish establishments, was titled “Jews among Us.” The list includes shuls, daycare centers, schools, memorials, businesses, restaurants and cemeteries. The post also had a tagline saying that today, Kristallnacht, is “such a nice day!” Kristallnacht is considered by many historians to be the opening shot in the violent and murderous campaign the Nazis led

According to a report from United Nations monitors last Wednesday, Iran exceeded the maximum amount of heavy water stockpile. The nuclear deal signed by world powers with Iran specifies a heavy water limit of 143.3 tons. The In-


The Florida Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 24, 2016

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The Week In News ternational Atomic Energy Agency report discovered that Iran’s stockpile exceeded that amount by 0.10 metric tons. Heavy water can be an explosion concern because it is used in reactors that produce substantial amounts of plutonium, a potential path to nuclear weapons. Investigators are claiming that this isn’t the first violation of the deal – it’s the second. “It’s important to note that Iran made no effort to hide this, hide what it was doing from the IAEA,” State Dept. spokesman Mark Toner told reporters. IAEA added that Iran surpassed the limit in February. In the report it was noted that Tehran said it intended to export 5.5 tons to an unspecified country, which would bring its number back under the limit. This disclosure came one day after Election Day in the United States, when Iran released a warning to the U.S. to uphold its end of the deal regardless of who controls the White House, a response to Trump’s threats along the campaign trail to rework the nuclear deal. The president-elect has described the Iran agreement as “the worst deal ever negotiated.”

IDF Field Hospital is Best in the World

It was a wonderful recognition of the thousands of volunteers and their unbelievable dedication and expertise around the world. Last week, the United Nation’s World Health Organization recognized the Israeli army’s field hospital, which is regularly sent abroad to provide aid at natural disaster sites, as “the number one in the world” in a ceremony last week, classifying it as its first and only “Type 3” field hospital, according to its commander, Lt. Col. (res.) Dr. Ofer Merin. In 2013, the United Nation’s WHO created a set of criteria to classify foreign medical teams in sudden onset disasters, on a scale from one to three. Israel is now the only country to receive the top mark. “Only a handful in the world could even

think of” doing so in the future, Dr. Ian Norton, the lead author of the classification system and head of the WHO delegation, said in a conversation with The Times of Israel last month. In the ceremony last Wednesday, the IDF’s field hospital team received the “Type 3” designation, along with some additional “specialized care” recognitions, which technically made it a “Type 3 plus,” though the army kept the information quiet until Sunday. “We’re going to recommend the director-general verifies [Israel’s team] as a Type 1, Type 2, and also Type 3 and multiple different types of specialty cells,” Norton announced. “We haven’t had that ever before,” Norton said, praising the months of work put in by the Israeli team to receive the designation. A Type 1 medical team can offer first aid and other immediate emergency care on an outpatient basis, meaning the victims do not remain in the hospital for extended periods of time; a Type 2 has at least 20 beds for inpatients and can perform 7-15 surgeries per day; and a Type 3 has twice as many inpatient beds, an intensive care unit and can perform 15-30 surgeries per day, as well as provide a host of other services, including rehabilitation. Israel’s field hospital blows past some of these requirements: A Type 3 field hospital needs 40 inpatient beds, Israel’s has 86. A Type 3 needs two operating rooms, Israel’s has four. For Type 2 and Type 3 teams there are additional “specialized care team” designations, including burn units, dialysis, obstetrics and gynecology, and reconstructive plastic surgery. Israel, in addition to its Type 3 designation, was also recognized for its abilities in the latter two categories, plastic surgery and OB/GYN care, making it a “Type 3 plus.” Israel will receive official WHO patches noting the new designation, and members of the IDF’s Medical Corps, including Merin, will meet with the head of the international organization at a formal ceremony in Hong Kong at the end of the month, the army said. In a phone conversation with reporters on Sunday, Merin, who has personally invested “hundreds of hours” in the recognition process, described the experience of having the work he and his team have done be classified as the best in the world as “emotional.” “I wish I could sit here and say it’s a ‘Mazal tov’ for me, but it’s a ‘Mazal tov’ for the army, for Israel,” Merin exulted. The recognition process took nearly a year, beginning in January 2016, most of that meticulously reviewing manuals and ensuring that Israel met the criteria. According to Merin, the military’s field hospital is “not just some medics and doctors spread out in the field”; rather it is a “national treasure” that has the capa-

bilities of an advanced, permanent hospital but can be set up almost anywhere in under 12 hours. Israeli disaster relief delegations — some of them led by Merin — have been some of the first and largest to arrive at the scenes of natural disasters. Teams from the IDF Medical Corps and Home Front Command provided rescue and medical services after an earthquake in Turkey in 1999, an earthquake in Haiti in 2010, a typhoon in the Philippines in 2013 and, most recently, an earthquake in Nepal in 2015. This Type 3 classification ensures that Israeli teams will continue to be the first allowed on the scene of future disasters and further cements Israel’s position as a world leader in emergency medicine, proving to friends and foes alike that the Jewish state knows how to handle catastrophes. “This recognition isn’t just international. It’s also recognition for ourselves, showing us what we can do,” the army spokesperson said on Sunday. While Israel’s emergency medical teams may be best known for their work abroad, Merin stressed that this takes a backseat to its primary directive. “Our role is, first of all, to deploy and assist in either — G-d forbid — a natural disaster, which

can happen because Israel’s on an active [fault line] or in cases of war,” he said. Israel’s regular humanitarian relief efforts have drawn both international praise and accusations of “rubble-washing” — or using its disaster relief effort to boost its international standing. Helping other countries in need is “the most effective kind of diplomacy,” then-foreign minister Avigdor Liberman said in 2015, after Israel sent a team to Nepal. “In crafting a country’s image, nothing is more effective than providing aid.” Diplomats insist the drive is mostly altruistic. “If we’re sending aid to Haiti, the Philippines and Nepal, we’re obviously not looking to reap great diplomatic benefits from these countries, which I might be allowed to describe as not superpowers,” said a former senior diplomat in 2015 In addition to being the only Type 3 team in the world, Israel’s is also the only one with a “military component” that has been recognized by the WHO. “It’s a proud moment for all the Jews around the world and for people from Israel and for people from the IDF Medical Corps. It’s great moment for all of us, really. It’s a great moment,” Merin said.


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NOVEMBER 24, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

The Week In News the clarity of polished diamonds.

ADT: Automated Diamond Tester The Israeli tech sector is looking to put another job into more objective, automated “hands.” In order to streamline and create more objectivity in the fine stone industry, Sarine Technologies Ltd. has invented a machine that can instantly grade

The diamond rating industry has always been a painstaking process that left

the grading up to the subjectivity of the diamond appraisal. The new system is being tested in India and is planned to be brought to market in mid-2017. The company hopes that its invention will enhance consumer trust in each diamond’s valuation. “Instead of a human looking at the diamond from various angles – maybe the light isn’t good, maybe he drank too much coffee – so he is making a mistake,” said executive director Uzi Levami. The machine can “make the final decision for the

grade of the diamond,” he said. Diamond dealers will still be needed to provide other services, such as determining if a stone is authentic. Although Israel does not produce any diamonds, the country is a leading polishing and trading center. Israel was one of the founding members of the Kimberley Process, which is the global body responsible for shutting down the “blood diamond” trade. The Israel Diamond Institute advertises that it has the world’s largest diamond trading floor.

NYT: We Will Have Honest Reporting The world reacted to Donald Trump’s surprising presidential victory last week in many different ways. Trump supporters celebrated, while Clinton supporters mourned, tantrumed, threatened, and some, rather surprisingly, apologized.

Amongst the apologetic ones was New York Times publisher, Arthur O. Sulzberger Jr. The NYT wasn’t shy about whose team it was on throughout the presidential race. They had a steady pro-Hillary, anti-Trump dialogue from the start and its “honest” reporting consistently made it seem like the majority of the country shared their opinions. After the votes were tallied, though, Sulzberger did some contemplating and promised that the paper will “reflect” on its stance. He vowed to “rededicate” his team to focusing on honest reporting. “After such an erratic and unpredictable election there are inevitable questions: Did Donald Trump’s sheer unconventionality lead us and other news outlets to underestimate his support among American voters?” In the letter he pleaded with his readership for their continued support. “We cannot deliver the independent, original journalism for which we are known without the loyalty of our subscribers,” the let-


The Florida Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 24, 2016

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The Week In News ter states. Liz Spayd, NYT’s public editor, highlighted the discrepancies between how the Times covered the election and the actual election results. The New York Times’ polling feature, The Upshot, claimed that Hillary Clinton had an 84% chance of winning the White House. Additionally, articles during the campaign painted Clinton’s campaign as organized and focused, while making Trump’s campaign look disorganized. In an op-ed piece, a columnist called Trump a “domestic terrorist.” There have been many outside critics as well. Take Michael Goodwin from the New York Post: “Because it [The Times] demonized Trump from start to finish, it failed to realize he was onto something. And because the paper decided that Trump’s supporters were a rabble of racist rednecks..., it didn’t have a clue about what was happening in the lives of the Americans who elected the new president.” Their “unbiased” reporting blinded the reality. Many readers expressed their disappointment by the NYC election coverage as well. Sulzberger, who still maintains that both candidates were covered fairly, assured the readers that reporters and editors will “give the news impartially, without fear or favor.” “But we also approach the incoming Trump administration without bias,” he added. A poll put out by Media Research Center after the election found that many people do not believe the media is truthful and that they see a bias in the news. According to the poll, 7 in 10 (69%) voters do not believe the news media are honest and truthful; 8 in 10 (78%) of voters believe the news coverage of the presidential campaign was biased, with nearly a 3-to-1 majority believing the media were for Clinton (59%) vs. for Trump (21%). Amazingly, even 1/3 (32%) of Clinton voters believe the media were “pro-Clinton.” 8% of Trump voters said they would have voted for Clinton if they had believed what the media were saying about Trump. Despite them admitting the bias, 97% of voters said they did not let the media’s bias influence their vote.

Hillary Blames Comey In an effort to explain her devastating loss Hillary Clinton has pointed a finger at FBI director James Comey. Clinton suggested in a conference call with her top campaign funders on Saturday that Comey’s announcement to reopen the

criminal case regarding her use of a private email for classified information is the reason why she lost so many votes on November 8. A second announcement by Comey a week later that cleared Clinton of wrongdoing simply reinforced Trump’s allegation that the system is rigged in her favor, Clinton said.

teleprompter and then she’ll go home and you don’t see her for three, four days, then she comes back?” Trump asked the crowd. “She’s low energy, she actually is low energy. She’ll go home, she’ll take a nap for four or five hours then come back. No naps for Trump! No naps. I don’t take naps. We don’t have time! We don’t time.” Aside from the conference call and a chance encounter with an excited Facebook user, Clinton has kept a low profile since her concession speech on Wednesday morning, while Trump has been gracing the pages of every news outlet.

worry if you have glow-in-the-dark hair. Recently, a hair colorist invented a hair dye called Phoenix Neon Glowing Hair which transforms hair into a glow-in-thedark ball of light in the dark. During the day, the locks are neon pink, yellow, orange and green. So either way, you’re glowing – maybe even radioactive? Unfortunately, this is not something you can do at home. The supplies that the colorist used are only available to salons. Truthfully, though, I think this is something you probably should not even do in a salon. I’d rather use a flashlight than have a glowin-the-dark brain.

Big Time Spender According to two participants on the call, Clinton said her campaign and the national party had raised $900 million from more than 3 million individual donors. President Obama had thoughts on why Clinton lost the presidency. On Monday, he told reporters, “You know, I won Iowa not because the demographics dictated that I would win Iowa. I spent 87 days going to every small town and fair and fish fry and VFW hall and there were some counties where I might have lost, but maybe I lost by 20 points instead of 50 points,” he said, suggesting that Hillary didn’t work hard enough to garner a win. Obama outperformed Clinton in the rural suburbs in the Midwest, like traditionally blue-collar, Democrat-leaning Macomb County, Michigan. Of the 700 counties Obama won twice, nearly a third flipped to President-elect Donald Trump, including Macomb. “How we organize politically I think is something that we should spend some time thinking about. I believe that we have better ideas, but I also believe that good ideas don’t matter if people don’t hear them,” Obama continued. “And one of the issues the Democrats have to be clear on is, given population distribution across the country, we have to compete everywhere. We have to show up everywhere. We have to work at a grass-roots level, something that’s been a running thread in my career.” Clinton has been criticized for her lack of outreach to white, Middle-class America – instead her campaign focused on rebuilding Mr. Obama’s coalition of African American and Hispanic voters in largely urban areas. At a rally in July, Donald Trump said that Clinton was “low energy.” “No naps for Trump,” Trump said at the time. “No naps. I don’t take naps. We don’t have time! You ever see Hillary where she comes out and she’ll read a

Light Up the Nights With the days getting shorter, darkness comes all too soon. But there’s no need to

Ever hear those commercials for Patek


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NOVEMBER 24, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

The Week In News

Philippe? Then you know that you don’t really own a Patek Philippe watch; you merely hold onto it for future generations. Well, it seems like a Patek Philippe may be a good watch to share with your kids – if you can afford it. This week, a rare stainless steel Patek Philippe Reference 1518 watch sold for over $11 million, making it the most expensive wristwatch to ever be sold at auction. It was more than triple the initial pre-sale estimate. The

buyer has remained anonymous. The Patek Philippe Reference 1518 perpetual calendar chronograph wristwatch was made in 1943 and features a moonphase indicator, Arabica hour markers and a tachymeter scale. This is not the only Patek Phillipe to go for outrageous sums. Prior to this sale, the most expensive watch to ever be sold at auction was also a Patek Phillipe, which sold last year for more than $7.3 million.

“I think Patek Phillippe is considered a blue chip brand and one of the most important watch makers in the world. They have had uninterrupted production since 1839, they make very few watches every year, and it’s just considered the very best, like a Rolls Royce,” said Sam Hines, international head of watches at the Phillips auction house. You know what they say: time is money.

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Music for your Money

If your financial situation is causing you anxiety, perhaps you should start banking at Atom Bank. On Tuesday, the British bank launched the world’s most relaxing ATM machine: customers are serenaded by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra while accessing their cash. The bank instituted the soothing symphony when it was revealed that 29 percent of people suffer from anxiety when checking their bank balance, feeling nervous and physically sick. The string section of the world famous orchestra played Gustav Mahler’s Symphony No.5 on either side of a walkway leading to the ATM in London’s Brick Lane. Violins, cellos, violas and even a harp helped ease tensions in the uniquely relaxing space where the ATM had been installed – a room draped with white curtains. Interestingly, while many get sick from their money woes, 85 percent of people don’t know what their current bank balance is. 6 percent lie to the partners about their money situation. The music, feather fans, soft lighting and soothing atmosphere were welcomed by the bank’s customers. Amelia Hazelrigg, 27, from London, said: “I hate checking my bank balance, I worry about how much money is in there. Going to an ATM in a white gallery with a harpist playing isn’t something you do every day, but at least it took my mind off my lack of funds.” Atom Bank is the UK’s only purely digital bank. Customers use mobile phone apps with biometric security such as face and voice recognition.


The Florida Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 24, 2016

Around the Community Sharsheret To Host Breast Cancer And Ovarian Cancer Awareness Gala And Silent Auction Hollywood, Florida (November 4, 2016) - Sharsheret, a national not-forprofit organization dedicated to addressing the needs of Jewish women and families facing breast cancer and ovarian cancer, will host its Florida Annual Gala and Silent Auction Saturday night, December 3, 2016. The event will attract more than 250 women and men at NSU Art Museum in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Sharsheret will recognize the incredible contributions of Simone and Rabbi Josh Broide (Boca Raton), Adina Ciment (Hollywood), and Dr. Baruch Jacobs (Miami Beach). The honorees are being recognized for their many contributions that have shaped Sharsheret’s South Florida presence and programming and, in particular, for being community advocates. Simone and Rabbi Josh Broide are

passionate about creating partnerships between Jewish organizations. Rabbi Broide is currently the Outreach Rabbi at Boca Raton Synagogue (BRS), the Director of the Deborah and Larry Silver Center for Jewish Engagement, and an educator for March of the Living. Simone is involved in a myriad of community programs including the BRS Chesed Committee, Sisterhood, and Chevra Kadisha, the Katz Hillel Day School, and, most recently, the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project. Together, they founded the Boca Raton Jewish Experience, an outreach and engagement program. They are spearheading the first ever community-wide Sharsheret Pink Shabbat in Florida providing critical education and awareness to the South Palm Beach community. Adina Ciment shares her personal jour-

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FLORIDA ANNUAL

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recognizing Simone and Rabbi Josh Broide Gala Honorees, Boca Raton Adina Ciment Gala Honoree, Hollywood Dr. Baruch Jacobs Gala Honoree, Miami Beach Saturday evening, December 3, 2016 8:00 pm NSU Art Museum One East Las Olas Boulevard Fort Lauderdale, FL

RSVP Kosher Dietary Laws Observed For more information or sponsorship opportunities, please contact Briana Schwarz at 954.416.0087 or bschwarz@sharsheret.org.

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NOVEMBER 24, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Around the Community

ney through breast cancer as a member of Sharsheret’s Peer Support Network. She participated in the development of Sharsheret’s national webinar Take Control: Navigating the Emotional Roller Coaster of Cancer, addressing the emotional side effects of a cancer diagnosis and survivorship from a woman’s perspective. A teacher and writer, Adina is the English Department Chair at Katz Yeshiva High School of South Florida and a blogger for The Huffington Post. Dr. Baruch Jacobs is a renowned plastic surgeon with experience spanning three decades. He received his medical degree from New York University School of Medicine, completed residencies in general surgery at Boston University Medical Center and in plastic surgery at Cleveland Clinic, where he also served as Chief Resident in Plastic Surgery. In 1990, he launched the Miami Beach Cosmetic and Plastic Surgery Center, a long-time sponsor of the annual Step Up for Sharsheret walk. Dr. Jacobs raises awareness about Sharsheret’s programs and services by sharing resources with his patients and hosting educational events. “We look forward to celebrating the evening with Sharsheret volunteers, supporters, and families as we mark the third

year of our Florida regional office and pay tribute to our honorees,” said Florida Regional Director Briana Schwarz. “With a strong Florida presence, Sharsheret builds greater awareness about the impact of breast cancer and ovarian cancer on the Florida Jewish community and promotes broader national participation in Sharsheret’s support and education programs available to women and families.” For reservations and information about the Florida Annual Gala and Silent Auction, please visit http://www.sharsheret. org/FloridaEvent or call 866.474.2774. To learn more about our honorees and event sponsorship opportunities, please contact Briana Schwarz at bschwarz@sharsheret. org. About Sharsheret Sharsheret, Hebrew for “chain”, is a national not-for-profit organization supporting young women and their families, of all Jewish backgrounds, facing breast cancer. Our mission is to offer a community of support to women diagnosed with breast cancer or at increased genetic risk, by fostering culturally-relevant individualized connections with networks of peers, health professionals, and related resources.

Since Sharsheret’s founding in 2001, we have responded to more than 60,000 breast cancer inquiries, involved more than 7,000 peer supporters, and presented over 250 educational programs annually nationwide. Sharsheret supports young Jewish women and families facing breast cancer at every stage - before, during, and after diagnosis. We help women and families connect to our community in the way that feels most comfortable, taking into consideration their stage of life, diagnosis, or treatment, as well as their connection to Judaism. We also provide educational resources, offer specialized support to those facing ovarian cancer or at high risk of developing cancer, and create programs for women and families to improve their quality of life. All Sharsheret’s programs are open to all women and men. Sharsheret offers the following national programs: The Link Program Peer Support Network, connecting women newly diagnosed or at high risk of developing breast cancer or ovarian cancer one-on-one with others who share similar diagnoses and experiences Embrace™, supporting women living with advanced breast cancer or recurrent

ovarian cancer Genetics for Life™, addressing hereditary breast cancer and ovarian cancer Thriving Again™, providing individualized support, education, and survivorship navigation for breast cancer survivors Busy Box™, for young parents facing breast cancer Best Face Forward™, addressing the cosmetic side effects of treatment Family Focus™, providing resources and support for caregivers and family members Ovarian Cancer Program, tailored resources and support for young Jewish women and families facing ovarian cancer Sharsheret Supports™, developing local support groups and programs Education and Outreach Programs Health Care Symposia, on issues unique to younger women facing breast cancer and ovarian cancer Sharsheret on Campus™, outreach and education to students on campus Sharsheret Educational Resource Booklet Series, culturally-relevant publications for Jewish women, their families, and healthcare professionals

The Great Big Challah Bake of North Miami Beach 2016 For the third year, as a result of the initiative of South African Chief Rabbi Warren Goldstein, many local Challah Bake events took place in Miami as part of The Shabbos Project. On Thursday night November 10th, more than 300 women from the North Miami Beach area gathered at Lubavitch Aventura South to experience the process of baking Challah together. The room was beautifully decorated and each participant had the necessary ingredients to walk out with two braided loaves ready to bake! In collaboration with the Shabbos Project local team, and the Greater Miami Jewish Federation, a team of volunteer ladies including Jessica Zwaiman-Lerner, Stephanie Ghitelman, Ori Serfaty, Galit Weisinger, Dana Tangir, Anat Garzon, Dominique Bacal, Sharon Benmergui, Malka Hojchman and Chava Mann, worked together with many local sponsors to make this event come true. The Challah Bake Committee carefully planned all the details to allow their guests to feel the power of baking together, to teach and perform the Mitzvah of Hafrashat Challah with many “First-tim-

ers.” All the women kneaded and danced to the beat of traditional Jewish melodies. Inspirational words were delivered by Rebbetzin Rosenfeld and the evening activities were coordinated by Rebbetzin Esther Anton and the Committee. The night was full of laughs and friendly reunions. The power of over 300 women and young ladies baking together

was a fantastic experience for everyone that attended. The energy of the Jewish woman and her strength and guidance in our Jewish Homes is the fundamental ingredient to Jewish continuity.

May Hashem continue blessing the power of the Jewish Women in our community!


The Florida Jewish Home | NOVEMBER 24, 2016

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NOVEMBER 24, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Around the Community

Calling All Volunteers for Jewish CommUNITY Day in Action Concert with Renowned Josh Nelson to Cap Day of Service at 20 Projects Hundreds of volunteers of all ages from throughout South Palm Beach County’s Jewish community will fan out across the area on December 18, 2016 to make a difference for those in need at 20 hands-on projects. The Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County invites everyone to join in Jewish CommUNITY in Action Day! Whether they’re interested in preparing food for the hungry, wrapping gifts, gardening, playing games with children or seniors, or more, they’ll be surrounded by the inspiration and energy of joining their Jewish neighbors to help those less fortunate in the community. Everyone is welcome to participate individually, as a family or with friends. Community Service hours are available for students. Online registration, which is required to participate, is available along with the list of projects at www.jewishboca.org/action. A registration fee of $18 per person or per family includes free admission to that afternoon’s pre-Hanukkah celebration and concert featuring the renowned Josh Nelson (seat reservations required online), as well as t-shirts. One of the most popular performers and composers in current Jewish music, Josh Nelson spreads his message of hope, unity and spirituality through performances across the globe. High-energy, captivating and deeply moving, his music lifts up audiences to build community. Classically trained yet equally versed in rock, jazz and world music, Josh was recently hailed by Time Magazine as a “star of the

Rabbi Josh Broide (center), JARC residents and students from Katz Hillel Jewish Day School and Claire and Emanuel G. Rosenblatt High School at DKJA dig into what will be one of the Jewish CommUNITY Day in Action projects – gardening at JARC.

Pam and Robert Weinroth, Honorary Chairs of Jewish CommUNITY Day in Action

New Jewish Music.” The concert will take place in Zinman Hall on the Federation campus, 9901 Donna Klein Blvd., Boca Raton. Doors will open at 4:30 pm, and the concert will begin at 5:00 pm. Light refreshments will be available. The concert is free with registration for a project, but reserving seats is required on the online form at www. jewishboca.org/action. Those who would like to hear Josh Nelson but who are not participating in a project may register online at a cost of $18 per person or per family to attend the concert. Jewish CommUNITY Day in Action is an innovative local extension of the global phenomenon Jewish Unity Day that emerged to continue and strength-

en the sense of unity experienced when three boys were kidnapped and murdered on their way home from school in Israel during the summer of 2014. “South Palm Beach County has become synonymous with Jewish Unity, holding the largest observances in the country,” said Rabbi Josh Broide, Director of the Federation’s Deborah and Larry D. Silver Center for Jewish Engagement, which is presenting Jewish CommUNITY Day in Action. “This year, we are taking UNITY to a whole new level by building on our inspiration and momentum, coming together from across Jewish South Palm Beach County to reach out far into our community and see how much of a difference we can make together on one special day.” Serving as Honorary Chairs of the event are Robert Weinroth, Boca Raton City Council Member, and his wife Pam, who have long been active in an array

of Jewish and other community organizations and causes. “Pam and I are very excited to join in this day that will bring so many diverse members of our vibrant Jewish community together to accomplish so much for our neighbors in need. Brought together by the tragic deaths of three boys in Israel little more than two years ago, our Jewish community is rising in their memory to make a difference for the benefit of all. Committed to bringing us together as one community, one family, I am thrilled to be part of our Jewish Federation and its Center for Jewish Engagement’s vital and creative efforts toward that vision.” “This extraordinary Jewish community has done a remarkable job of uniting when we face local, domestic or international challenges,” said Matthew C. Levin, Federation President & CEO. “We have seen how we can come together across the usual boundaries of Jewish life for these greater purposes, and we keep going farther to make Jewish Unity an ongoing practice. We can come together simply because by heart, by history and by fate, we are all one Jewish family, and we are stronger together.” Registration is required at www.jewishboca.org/action. For more information about Jewish CommUNITY Day, the public is invited to contact 561-558-2112 or shirleyg@bocafed.org.

Rabbi Abramchik, Founding Principal of Sha’arei Bina, Retires After 45 Years in Chinuch The Founding Principal of Sha’arei Bina Torah Academy for Girls, Florida, decided to retire at the end of the past school year after serving Jewish communities in Florida, Israel and other cities in America, after 45 years in Chinuch. Rabbi Abramchik, a man who believes in planning, and his wife, Harriet O”H, was the same way. Together they had decided that she would retire at age 62 and the Rabbi would retire shortly thereafter. Harriet retired on schedule but the Rabbi was not ready to leave the world of chinuch. Unfortunately, his wife passed away soon thereafter her retirement, and he realized how wise his decision was in retrospect. Working as a principal, with talented administrators and a dedicated faculty, helped fill the void left by his wife.   The joy of working in Sha’arei Bina helped ease the loneliness of being a widower. “I gave it three years after my wife’s

passing” said Rabbi Abramchik. “I wanted to retire almost immediately after her passing, but was advised (correctly so) not to make major life decisions in a state of emotional stress. Actually, I am glad that I took that advice as I don’t know if the healing process would have taken place were I to have retired as planned”, said the Rabbi. “Retirement means a plan to do something else” said Rabbi Abramchik. “For me it never meant to just do nothing, it meant changing gears and re-focusing”, said the Rabbi. “One should learn Jewish texts every day of one’s life, regardless of what occupation one has. On the other hand, being busy with running schools does not leave much time for that luxury. I am planning to learn in the morning at the Miami Beach Community Kollel and offer my services as an Educational Consultant to schools locally and around the Country”, said the Rabbi. “After so many

years in Chinuch, elementary and high schools, I have what to offer and believe very strongly that every school can use an outsider to look in and help improve an already good situation”, said Rabbi

Abramchik. In addition, Rabbi Abramchik is known for being a Shadchan and has been successful in making dozens of Shidduchim over his lifetime. He plans on spending more time on that very big Mitzvah as the situation has only become much more difficult and by getting back into it more full time, he might be able to once again, contribute his share. Rabbi Abramchik also indicated that because he will no longer have a set schedule he will be free to visit his mother, children and grandchildren more often than in the past as in this way he can become an integral part of their lives. The Greater Miami community wishes Rabbi Abramchik Hatzlacha Rabah in his future endeavors and if anyone wants to contact him, please call him at 786-2473961.


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Around the Community

Holocaust Oral History Program Begins at KHDS Katz Hillel Day School of Boca Raton recently kicked off its’ Names, Not Numbers© project, a Holocaust oral history project for 8th graders. The students are working in small groups with local Holocaust survivors as they create a professional quality documentary about the lives of these incredible people as well as their own journey learning about them. The small groups of students have been paired with a local survivor and they will research their backgrounds, design interview questions, conduct the actual interview, learn how to use professional cameras and video editing equipment and, ultimately, help create the complete documentary. This project will take place over the course of the year and a major documentary presentation that will be

open to the community, will be shown at the culmination of the project. Last year was the first year that KHDS participated in the program and thanks to a generous sponsorship by a prominent foundation, and sponsored in part by Mr. and Mrs. Alex Folkman, the program is able to continue this year. Last year Mr. Folkman, a survivor himself, participated in the program. Rabbi Dr. Mordechai Smolarcik, an experienced Holocaust educator, is the faculty advisor for this program once again. Katz Hillel Day School of Boca Raton is a modern Orthodox Zionist day school, educating over 500 students from age two through 8th grade. For more information call 561-470-5000 or visit the website at www.hilleldayschool.org.

Rabbi Dr. Mordechai Smolarcik addressing the students

Posnack Jewish Day School Named 3rd Best In Florida Posnack School Rises To Crack Top 5 In Prestigious List Of State’s Best K-12 Private Schools. DAVIE, FL – For the second year in a row, the David Posnack Jewish Day School in Davie, Florida has been named one of the best private schools in the State of Florida. Posnack School was the first and only Jewish day school to crack the top 10 last in last year’s ranking by finishing eighth, putting it ahead of many of the most admired schools in the State. This year, Posnack School has made it into the top 5, earning the number 3 spot on Niche’s list of best private K-12 schools and climbing a remarkable 4 spots to rank as the fourth best private high school in

the State of Florida. Posnack School’s national ranking also rose significantly to place it in the top 1% of private schools nationwide. In an e-mail to the Posnack School community announcing the ranking and thanking the community for its support, Head of School, Dr. Richard Cuenca, wrote: “Above all, this astounding achievement validates our school’s vision of offering the highest quality education in both general and Judaic studies.” Niche.com analyzes neighborhoods, K-12 schools, and colleges. School rank-

ings are based on variety of factors including SAT/ACT scores, the quality of colleges that students consider, student-teacher ratio, student and parent reviews, and a number of other criteria. About David Posnack Jewish Day School David Posnack Jewish Day School is South Florida’s premier K-12 college preparatory Jewish day school. Ours is a vibrant school community that nurtures each child’s individual potential. With exceptional facilities—including the new

'D'Lites Night' in Support of Hochberg Prep Save the date for a “D’Lite-Full” event! Hochberg Prep’s D’Lites Night is scheduled for Monday, December 12,

2016, 3:00 pm - 8:00 pm at D’Lites Ice Cream Shop in Aventura. Enjoy a delicious, cool treat with family and friends

Selmar Family Hachonos Sefer Torah It was a momentous day for the community when a Sefer Torah found its new home at the North Miami Beach Kollel. The Torah was written by Rabbi Yaakov Selmar, the son of the mohel and sofer, Rabbi Yitzchak Selmar. It was sponsored by the Selmar family in memory of their parents Chazzon Abraham and Edith Seif A”H and Mr. Arthur and Zelda Selmar A”H, their siblings Shelly and Alan Seif A”H, their grandson Chaim Selmar A”H, and brother-in-law Rabbi Yossi Heber A”H. The joyous event began as family, friends, and neighbors gathered at the Sel-

mar home to complete the final letters in the Sefer Torah. This was followed by a procession to the Kollel which filled the streets of North Miami Beach with music and lively dancing. As everyone reached the new Kollel building, Sifrei Torah were brought out to greet the new Torah. The dancing and singing continued inside the Kollel. Faces were beaming, tears were streaming, as the Torah was placed in the Aron Kodesh. The North Miami Beach community continues to expand as new Torah institutions open and more people choose to make this their home.

while supporting Hochberg Prep! For more information, please call #305-9336946 ext. 7814.

50,000 square foot state-of-the-art Paul & Maggie Fischer High School and Gymnasium--outstanding faculty, incredible programming, and cutting edge technology, the Posnack School equips students for success in a complex and interdependent world. Our graduates rank in the top 5% of college applicants nationwide and are admitted to the finest colleges and universities in the United States and around the world.


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NOVEMBER 24, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Election Brings Good News for the Tuition Crisis Mimi Jankovits The high cost of Jewish day school education in Florida is one step closer to being resolved with the election of a pro-school choice majority to the Florida Senate and House in last week’s elections. Florida is now one of the nation’s leaders

in helping families afford a quality education for their children. Pro-school choice candidates won in 20 out of 21 targeted state Senate and House races.  This was no small feat given that the Florida teachers’ union outspent

the school choice candidates by a ratio of almost three to one. In perhaps the most heated race, Rep. Frank Artiles handily beat the teachers’ union favorite Dwight Bullard by 10 points, despite the union’s investment of

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$825,000 in Bullard’s campaign. On the House side, incumbent Rep. Manny Diaz Jr., a school choice leader, won reelection by more than five percentage points over his anti-school choice opponent in a highly contested race. With a 25-15 Republican majority in the state senate and a strong majority in the House, Florida’s signature programs stand to get significant support. That is a good sign for Jewish families who are paying up to $25,000 a year for day school tuition for just one child. It’s not hard to see how day school tuition for a family of four children could be a struggle for most parents. This year, 2348 children are learning in Jewish day schools with the help of Florida’s tax credit scholarship for low income children – a total of $13.8 million in assistance to our families and schools.  That means one in four children in Jewish day schools benefits from this scholarship.  Another 160 plus are on Gardiner or McKay scholarships, which provide tuition for children with unique learning styles. The election results send a strong message that the public supports scholarship programs for non-public schools, and that school choice is here to stay in Florida. This is particularly important in light of the teachers’ union’s two lawsuits to shut down the scholarship programs.  Two Florida courts have rejected the lawsuit against the tax credit scholarship because of a lack of standing.  The case is now before the Florida Supreme Court, which has one more month to determine if it will hear the case.  Now that the people of Florida have expressed their support for school choice at the polls, we are hopeful the Supreme Court will affirm the lower courts’ ruling that the union has no standing.   The electoral victory is also our signal to come together to protect and strengthen the scholarships and work together with the legislature to broaden school choice programs in the state. Teach Florida is the community’s voice on this issue, bringing together our schools, synagogues and families to advocate for these important programs. Your vote made a difference, and now your voice can sustain and build the programs that are providing relief to all our families and Jewish education for our children.   Mimi Jankovits is Florida Director of the OU Advocacy Center. She heads up Teach Florida, an initiative of OU Advocacy and the leading voice for Florida’sJewish day schools and yeshivas. For more information, contact Mimi at mimij@ou.org.


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Parsha Perceptions

Chayei Sarah: A Journey of a Thousand Miles Rabbi Lord Jonathon Sacks

Our parsha contains the most serene description of old age and dying anywhere in the Torah: “Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people” (Gen. 25:8). There is an earlier verse, no less moving: “Abraham was old, well advanced in years, and God had blessed Abraham with everything” (Gen. 24:1). Nor was this serenity the gift of Abraham alone. Rashi was puzzled by the description of Sarah - “Sarah lived to be 127 years old: [These were] the years of Sarah’s life” (Gen.23:1). The last phrase seems completely superfluous. Why not just tell us that Sarah lived to the age of 127? What is added by saying that “these were the years of Sarah’s life”? Rashi is forced to the conclusion that the first half of the verse talks about the quantity of her life, how long she lived, while the second tells us about the quality of her life. “They - the years she lived - were all equal in goodness.” Yet how is any of this conceivable? Abraham and Sarah were commanded by God to leave everything that was familiar: their land, their home, their family, and travel to an unknown land. No sooner had they arrived than they were forced to leave because of famine. Twice, Abraham’s life was at risk when, driven into exile, he worried that he would be killed so that the local ruler could take Sarah into his harem. Sarah herself had to say that she was Abraham’s sister, and had to suffer the indignity of being taken into a stranger’s

household. Then there was the long wait for a child, made even more painful by the repeated Divine promise that they would have as many children as the stars of the sky or the dust of the earth. Then came the drama of the birth of Ishmael to Sarah’s servant Hagar. This aggravated the relation between the two women, and eventually Abraham had to send Hagar and Ishmael away. One way or another, this was a source of pain to all four people involved. Then there was the agony of the binding of Isaac. Abraham was faced with the prospect of losing the person most precious to him, the child he had waited for so long. One way or another, neither Abraham nor Sarah had an easy life. Theirs were lives of trial, in which their faith was tested at many points. How can Rashi say that all of Sarah’s years were equal in goodness? How can the Torah say that Abraham had been blessed with everything? The answer is given by the parsha itself, and it is very unexpected. Seven times Abraham had been promised the land. Here is just one of those occasions: The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, “Raise your eyes, and, from the place where you are now [standing], look to the north, to the south, to the east, and to the west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever.... Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you” (Gen. 13:14-17). Yet by the time Sarah dies, Abraham

has no land at all, and he is forced to prostrate himself before the local Hittites and beg for permission to acquire even a single field with a cave in which to bury his wife. Even then he has to pay what is clearly a massively inflated price: four hundred silver shekels. This does not sound like the fulfilment of the promise of “all the land, north, south, east and west.” Then, in relation to children, Abraham is promised four times: “I will make you into a great nation” (12:2). “I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth” (13:16). God “took [Abram] outside and said, ‘Look at the sky and count the stars. See if you can count them.’ [God] then said to him, ‘That is how [numerous] your descendants will be.’” (15:5). “No longer shall you be called Abram. Your name shall become Abraham, for I have set you up as the father of many nations” (17:5). Yet he had to wait so long for even a single son by Sarah that when God insisted that she would indeed have a son, both Abraham (17:17) and Sarah (18:12) laughed. (The sages differentiated between these two episodes, saying that Abraham laughed with joy, Sarah with disbelief. In general, in Genesis, the verb tzch-k, to laugh, is fraught with ambiguity). One way or another, whether we think of children or the land - the two key Divine promises to Abraham and Sarah - the reality fell far short of what they might have felt entitled to expect. That, however, is precisely the meaning and message of Chayei Sarah. In it Abraham does two things: he buys the first plot in the land of Canaan, and he arranges for the marriage of Isaac. One field and a cave was, for Abraham, enough for the text to say that “God had blessed Abraham with everything.” One child, Isaac, by then married and with children (Abraham was 100 when Isaac was born; Isaac was sixty when the twins, Jacob and Esau, were born; and Abraham was 175 when he died) was enough for Abraham to die in peace. Lao-Tzu, the Chinese sage, said that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. To that Judaism adds,

“It is not for you to complete the work but neither are you free to desist from it” (Avot 2:16). God himself said of Abraham, “For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him” (Gen. 18:19). The meaning of this is clear. If you ensure that your children will continue to live for what you have lived for, then you can have faith that they will continue your journey until eventually they reach the destination. Abraham did not need to see all the land in Jewish hands, nor did he need to see the Jewish people become numerous. He had taken the first step. He had begun the task, and he knew that his descendants would continue it. He was able to die serenely because he had faith in God and faith that others would complete what he had begun. The same was surely true of Sarah. To place your life in God’s hands, to have faith that whatever happens to you happens for a reason, to know that you are part of a larger narrative, and to believe that others will continue what you began, is to achieve a satisfaction in life that cannot be destroyed by circumstance. Abraham and Sarah had that faith, and they were able to die with a sense of fulfilment. To be happy does not mean that you have everything you want or everything you were promised. It means, simply, to have done what you were called on to do, to have made a beginning, and then to have passed on the baton to the next generation. “The righteous, even in death, are regarded as though they were still alive” (Berakhot 18a) because the righteous leave a living trace in those who come after them. That was enough for Abraham and Sarah, and it must be enough for us. Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks served as Britain’s chief rabbi from 1991 to 2013. He was recently named as the 2016 Templeton Prize Laureate. His latest book is ‘Not in God’s Name: Confronting Religious Violence.’


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Torah Thought Trump Lovers and Haters are Making the Same Critical Mistake Rabbi Efrem Goldberg On the morning after this week’s historic upset in the election, the chazzan at the minyan I attended finished the repetition of the Amidah and something unusual occurred. One person called out “Hallel,” indicating that for him it was a miraculous day in which we should sing out to the Almighty in appreciation. Immediately, another person called out “Tachanun,” proclaiming the day as one of sobriety and sadness. Both reactions were terrible and inappropriate disruptions to davening, but they reflect the deep divide across this nation. On Wednesday, many people were euphoric, celebrating what they consider a miraculous victory that will herald in a new era for America. Many others were despondent, grieving and mourning for what they consider a national calamity and tragedy. Indeed, universities across the country considered canceling classes to allow students to absorb the results and many professors postponed exams. On the one hand, thousands have taken

to the streets protesting the election results and the president-elect. A group is attempting to form a movement to convince Californians to secede if Trump is president. A letter has been circulating entitled, “Open Letter From American Jews” that is addressed to “everyone who is threatened by the president-elect and his administration,” and asking people to sign. And perhaps the most extreme response, as reported in Ha’aretz: “U.S. Synagogues Invite Grieving Jews to Sit Shiva Together After Trump Victory.” On the other hand is a group that is triumphant and jubilant, proclaiming with absolute confidence and certainty that the economy will improve, the US-Israel relationship will thrive, and that indeed, America will be “great again.” The same pundits and pollsters who grossly miscalculated the election have not hesitated to offer their opinions on how and why the upset occurred and what the future will now hold for every aspect of American domestic and foreign policy.

Both those that are grieving excessively and those that are celebrating jubilantly are making the same critical mistake. With unintended hubris, both groups presume to know exactly what the outcome of this election means and what the future holds. While an elected official’s campaign speeches and promises certainly give an indication of what they hope to accomplish and what policies they will pursue, never forget that the future is not entirely up to them. As observant Jews and people of deep faith, we must not fall prey to the mistake of the both the haters and the lovers of our president-elect. Long ago King Shlomo (Mishlei 21:1) taught us, “Palgei mayim lev melech b’yad Hashem, al kol asher yachpotz yatenu, the heart of a king is like a stream of water in the hand of Hashem, wherever He wishes, He will direct it.” It is only natural and expected that when losing a loved one or suffering a painful setback one mourns and grieves. However, the Rambam writes (Hilchos Aveilus 13:11) that while it is acceptable and even encouraged to mourn, it is prohibited to mourn excessively. On the prohibition to cut one’s skin in reaction to suffering the death of a family member, the Ramban writes, grieving excessively suggests that one doesn’t believe in God, the afterlife, the world to come, or the reunion of souls. When one mourns and laments hopelessly he has erased God from the equation and fail to trust in His presence and His divine plan. Similarly, Chazal tell us not to experience unrestrained celebration or laughter. Only when redemption comes, “az yemalei sechok pinu, our mouths will

be filled with unbridled laughter and happiness.” Until then, we must be cautious with our joy and careful with our delight. Both excessive mourning and extreme celebration presume to fully understand the meaning and implications of a particular event or experience. We say every single day in our davening, “Al tivtechu b’nedivim, don’t place your faith and trust in princes and diplomats.” As believing Jews, we recognize that ultimately it is the Master of the Universe who orchestrates domestic, foreign and all policies and their consequences. To be a student of Torah and of Jewish history is to see the Almighty’s guiding hand. His Hand guided our history and ultimately it is His hand that will guide our destiny. It is not only as observant Jews and people of faith that we believe it is God who guides the world. On every bill in our currency and adorning the House of Representatives is the phrase “In God We Trust.” So yes, we campaign, lobby, and advocate for our candidate and on behalf of the policies that we think are best. But when the election is over, when the dust settles, it is with deep humility and profound modesty that we place our trust in God. None of us, the haters, lovers, or those in between, know with true confidence what this election means for America or for Israel. It is understandable to be disappointed or to be jubilant, but don’t be arrogant. Let the pundits pontificate. As Torah Jews, we pray. Whether you are desperately worried about the future or tremendously hopeful, channel that feeling into heartfelt prayer to the One who holds not only the key states, but the keys to everything, Hashem.

Feeling threatened is confused with racism, feeling weak with illness and feeling sad with injustice. This is not to discount or invalidate any true feeling. We have a right to our feelings and all feelings are real. But they do not always reflect reality. Feelings need to be filtered; unchecked feelings often lead us astray. This is a central tenet of Rational Emotive Therapy. Rational Emotive Therapy is an approach that uses the practical mind to shape emotion – not the other way around. Instead of teaching self defense to guard against an imagined threat, we can use reason to observe that there is scarcely any menace at all. Like Hillary and Barack both said, we need to pick ourselves up and move ahead. After validating and expressing the hurt, we temper it with rational thought. No matter how painful it feels, losing an election does not qualify as a national disaster and it does not point to the end of the world. One recent Friday night, I found myself walking along a deserted rural road. Dark woods lined one edge of the street and as the Autumn wind rustled through the trees, there was an eerie sense of foreboding. The thought raced across my consciousness: “maybe I am being followed by some

wild animal prepared to lunge suddenly out of the darkness.” Before succumbing to panic, a cry-in, or running back home, I checked the feeling against reality. A quick look back confirmed that there was no stalker but still took the precautionary measure of crossing to the other side of the street. Armed with the knowledge that there was no real danger, I continued calmly and safely along the way. As a society, it is time to return to sanity. Feelings are useful and important. But they need to be based in rational thought and reflect reality. We need to start to think before we emote. Encourage the youth to react to reality instead of their sensations. We may just become great again. Dr. Y Siegel is a licensed psychologist in private practice. He has held positions in Federal and State institutions providing clinical services and psychological assessment.  He also served as clinical coordinator at an addiction center where he supervised and trained staff.   Dr. Siegel can be reached at 732-8061513 or drsiegel@siegelpsychological. com

Psychology Today

Reality Check Dr. Yaakov Siegel Donald Trump is President-Elect and half the country is in mourning. Angry mobs take to the streets while others withdraw, broken and depressed. It’s as if some kind of tragedy has struck and people simply can’t cope. Colleagues on college campuses tell me that the pain is widespread. Students cry all day and some are paralyzed with fear. This is not a joke, it is serious. The panic is real. Since the election, millions of people – mostly young adults – have been gripped with a foreboding sense of impending doom. They are convinced that life as they know it is about to come to an apocalyptic end. Our respected educational institutions are scrambling to meet the challenge. Cornell University arranged a “safe space” for students to gather and hold a “cry-in” where they weep in each others’ arms. The University of Kansas allows for visits to

therapy dogs on alternating Wednesdays because students are “frustrated, sad and shocked.” University of Michigan arranged for gatherings where young adults used PlayDoh, coloring books and hot chocolate to ease their hopelessness and grief. At the Brooklyn Museum, protesters learned self-defense in preparation for the “coming danger.” Contrast this to the reaction of millions who felt similarly betrayed, worried and sad when Barack Obama took office eight years ago. At that time there was no mass hysteria, no organized crying fits, no missed work, no adult play dates, and no group hugs. What, if anything, has changed in the past eight years? Perhaps we, as a society, have come to believe that our feelings create reality. Individuals self-identify according to how they feel inside instead of who they really are.


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EN ESPAÑOL

Jaiei Sara:

Todo queda en familia Por Rav Rosenblatt Cuando Abraham envió a Eliezer a buscar una esposa para su hijo Itzjak, su único criterio fue que buscara una mujer de la familia de Abraham. La Mishná nos comenta algo similar: “Que no te distraiga la belleza, mira la familia”. Siempre me interesó el hecho de que la familia fuese un criterio en la elección de la pareja. Entendería elegir según el carácter, los valores en común, o incluso quizás según la personalidad. ¿Pero

por qué la familia? Obviamente debemos juzgar a las personas por quiénes son, ¡no por la familia a la cual pertenecen! Déjenme explicarles primero cómo creo que esto es por lo general entendido de forma errónea. Me parece que se suele mirar éste asunto desde un punto de vista elitista: hay gente que considera que ciertas familias no son lo suficientemente buenas como para que sus hijos se casen con un integrante de ellas. Sin embargo, esto

la familia. Si viene de un contexto familiar disfuncional, estate atento a los problemas que puedan existir. Pero si viene de un hogar sano, siéntete alentado. A fin de cuentas deberás juzgar a la persona por quien es, pero los antecedentes familiares pueden servirte de guía y ayuda en el proceso. La familia es un factor sumamente importante en el desarrollo de un niño. Los padres tienen gran influencia sobre quién será su hijo, lo cual es una gran responsabilidad. Mi primera esposa, Elana que en paz descanse, solía decir que lo mejor que se le puede dar a un niño son padres felizmente casados. Padres felices que están contentos el uno con el otro por lo general educarán niños felices. Un hogar feliz es un ambiente ideal en el cual crecer.

no es lo que la Torá nos está diciendo; eso es simplemente una arrogancia tonta. Creo que el mensaje de la Torá es el siguiente: Las familias sanas generalmente producen niños sanos. Es una ecuación simple; si los chicos crecen en un ambiente estable, cálido y que les brinda apoyo, probablemente se convertirán en adultos sanos emocionalmente. Y si crecen en un hogar con conflictos e inestabilidad, seguramente deberán esforzarse mucho para lidiar con los desafíos de la vida. Por supuesto siempre existe el libre albedrio; los huevos podridos pueden provenir de las mejores familias y pueden brillar estrellas que provengan de las peores familias. Abraham, cuyo padre era dueño de una tienda de objetos de idolatría, es el clásico ejemplo de esto último. Entonces, una regla útil para chequear al momento de buscar pareja es evaluar a

EN FRANÇAIS

Haye Sarah:

Une famille en or Par le Rabbin Rosenblatt Wednesday, December 14, 8:00PM

Dr. Hillel Abramson Topic: "The Surprising History behind Chanukah: More than Dreidlels and Latkes" Henry (Hillel) Abramson, PhD, a longtime former member of YIBH, serves as Dean of the Lander College of Arts and Sciences in Brooklyn, New York. He is the author of many works on Jewish history and thought. Wednesday, December 21, 8:00PM

Rabbi Dr. David Nesenoff Topic: “A Funny Thing Happened to Me at The White House” David Nesenoff, is a renowned speaker, rabbi, publisher, journalist, author, musician and filmmaker. He received his formal education from Yeshiva University and Hebrew University. He was the publisher and editor-in-chief of The Jewish Star newspaper in New York and The Jerusalem Observer in Israel. Dr. Nesenoff literally travels the globe delivering highly sought after messages about Israel and the Jewish people, David's audiences have reviewed his presentation, or one-man show, as “hilarious” “mind-blowing” “uplifting” and “life-changing.”

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Quand Avraham charge Eliézer de trouver une épouse pour son fils Isaac, le seul véritable critère qu’il pose est que la jeune fille en question soit issue de sa propre famille. Une idée à laquelle fait écho la Michna suivante: « Ne te laisse pas distraire par la beauté. Examine plutôt la famille. » J’ai toujours été intrigué par le fait de considérer la famille comme un critère de choix dans la quête de l’âme sœur. Je veux bien comprendre que le caractère, la présence de valeurs communes, voire même la personnalité du candidat constituent des critères de choix. Mais pourquoi la famille ? Ne faudrait-il pas juger un individu selon son identité propre, non pas d’après la famille dont il est issu ? A mon avis, cette injonction de la Torah est interprétée à tort comme du simple élitisme. On trouve parfois des gens qui refusent que leurs enfants entrent dans telle ou telle famille sous prétexte qu’elles ne sont pas de leur rang. Ce n’est vraiment pas ce que la Torah nous suggère. Cela n’est que du snobisme pur et simple. Il me semble que la Torah nous enseigne le principe suivant : une famille saine produit des enfants sains. C’est une simple équation ; si un enfant grandit dans un environnement stable, chaleureux et attentif à ses besoins, il deviendra certainement un adulte stable et épanoui. En revanche, s’il grandit dans un foyer instable et conflictuel, il aura plus de mal à affronter

les défis de la vie. Bien entendu, il reste toujours une place pour le libre-arbitre. Les foyers les plus exemplaires peuvent abriter les pousses les plus rebelles, et les bicoques les plus sordides peuvent engendrer des êtres d’exception. Avraham, dont le père tenait un commerce d’idoles, en est l’exemple le plus flagrant. Voilà pourquoi, si vous vous intéressez à un certain parti, n’oubliez pas de jeter un coup d’œil sur sa famille. Si celle-ci s’avère être dysfonctionnelle, méfiez-vous des retombées. Si vous constatezqu’elle est saine et harmonieuse, c’est un bon point à ne pas négliger. Au bout du compte, vous jugerez la personne d’après ce qu’elle est. Mais son origine familiale peut certainement guider votre choix. La cellule familiale est un élément primordial dans le développement harmonieux de l’enfant. Les parents ont une influence considérable sur l’avenir de leur enfant. Et c’est là une énorme responsabilité qui pèse sur eux. Ma première épouse, Elana, puisse-t-elle reposer en paix, avait coutume de dire que le meilleur cadeau que vous pourrez faire à vos enfants est celui de parents unis. Des parents heureux de vivre ensemble engendreront généralement des enfants heureux et biens dans leur peau. Un foyer harmonieux est le plus bel environnement qui existe pour élever des enfants épanouis.


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