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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

A I P A C & B R S C O R D I A L LY I N V I T E Y O U T O

THE “STRATEGIC PARTNERSHIP ACT” IN ACTION

SHABBATON at BRS

STRATEGY

PARTNERSHIP

ACTION

November 18-19 Parasha Vayera Friday Night

POST-ELECTION: IN-DEPTH POLITICAL ANALYSIS

A pro-Israel perspective of the 2016 election results featuring AIPAC’s National Deputy Political Director, Ed Miller. Program includes Q&A with the crowd, dinner and dessert. Dinner is open to all BRS congregants who attended AIPAC’s 2016 Policy Conference, are registered for the 2017 conference, or who make an annual gift of $50 to AIPAC. Reservations are required by November 11. events.aipac.org/boca/events/brs. Congressional Club* Oneg, immediately following dinner “Scotch & Sweets” exclusively for Congressional Club* members at BRS. *Congressional Club members are AIPAC Club Members who commit to making political contributions to pro-Israel candidates of their choice.

Shabbat Day

LECTURE AFTER DAVENING ISRAELI INNOVATION & THE STRATEGIC PARTNERSHIP ACT Presentation moderated by Rabbi Goldberg featuring InSightec’s CEO Maurice Ferre; co-founder of Woosh, Itay Tayas Zamir; Greenberg Traurig’s shareholder/chief coordinator of the firm’s Israel practice, Meital Stavinsky; and AIPAC Lobbyist, Jeff Colman.

RABBI’S CLASS 4:00 P.M. POST-ELECTION: AN ANALYSIS OF THE WINNERS AND THE IMPLICATIONS FOR PRO-ISRAEL ACTIVISM A discussion with African American, Hispanic and Evangelical Christian pro-Israel advocates about post-election activism. The outreach panel features State Senator (FL-36) Oscar Braynon II; CEO of Marin and Sons, Governmental Consulting Firm, Steven Marin; Christian Zionist, Activist & Advocate for Israel, William F. Callahan. Moderated by Ed Miller.

SEUDAH SHLISHIET SHABBATON WRAP-UP WITH ED MILLER Your role in enhancing the U.S.-Israel relationship. For more information, please contact AIPAC BRS chairs Joey and Seema Loskove at jloskove@gmail.com or sloskove@gmail.com or Rebecca Sepiashvili, AIPAC Associate Director, at 954.653.6662 or rebeccas@aipac.org. 11-18 BRS Shabbaton 2.0.indd 1

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The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

4 Hours Before Rosh Hashanah 5777 Begins

Tefilas Gedolei Hador At The Kosel Hamaaravi For a Good and Sweet New Year For Vaad Harabbanim’s Donors

8,316

22,508

5,160

1,748

4,292

2,689

782

Monthly allocations

Food baskets

Medical assistance

Dental treatment

Widows and orphans

Educational assistance

Operations and difficult treatments

1877-722-2646

221 Regent Drive Lakewood, NJ 08701

Tax ID# 37-1456890

Fax: 1877-KVITTEL (1877-584-8835)

1888-36-36-248 international toll-free number

In Canada: 5831 Esplanade Montreal Quebec Canada h2t3a2

All donations are tax deductible. Please make checks payable to Vaad Harabbanim In accordance with U.S. tax law requirements regarding deductibility of contributions, VAAD HARABBANIM L'INYANEI TZEDUKA INC. shall have full dominion, control and discretion over this gift. All contributions subject to final board approval.

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Dear Readers, Dear Readers, Welcome to The Florida Jewish Home! We are so excited to be a part of such an amazing and special community. We are sincerely honored to become an integral part of the Jewish Communities of South Florida and to serve as a center of knowledge, insight, laughter and learning. Beginnings are a beautiful thing. Beginnings are filled with potential and excitement, enthusiasm and concern. At this time of year, we are faced with many new beginnings. Our children have started the beginning of a new school year.  We are coming together and welcoming Rosh Hashana, the beginning of a New Year. And it is of no coincidence that it is the beginning of The Florida Jew-

ish Home. Our mission is to engender a sense of unity in the greater South Florida Jewish Community — to create a space for all to feel involved. As a community, we strive together and we thrive together and that’s the primary goal of this community-centered paper. With this in mind, we would like to take the opportunity to wish all our readers a Shana Tova U’metuka filled with happiness, health and success! Please feel free to reach out to me at editor@thefloridajewshhome.com with any feedback, questions or comments, I sincerely look forward to hearing from you soon! 

PUBLISHER publisher@thefloridajewishhome.com

Dina Tzur

SENIOR EDITOR editor@thefloridajewishhome.com

Shoshana Soroka

MANAGING EDITOR editor@thefloridajewishhome.com

Yitzy Halpern

MANAGING PUBLISHER publisher@thefloridajewishhome.com

Berish Edelman

Dina

Design & Production

Advertisements, Classifieds & Real Estate

Contents

info@thefloridajewishhome.com 305-467-9003 561-374-2005

COMMUNITY

Around the Community

Oded Tzur

11

NEWS Israel

7

National 8 Odd-but-True Stories

8

ISRAEL Chayal El Chayal

28

PEOPLE Dating Dialogue

32

JEWISH THOUGHT From Broken to Golden

22

Don Fernando Aguilar’s Amazing Shofar

24

Nitzavim: Defeating Death

26

Preparación Para Rosh HaShaná

27

HEALTH & FITNESS Eating Healthy During the Chagim

25

HUMOR Centerfold

20

POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

36

Hillary Sharpens,Trump Softens. He’s Rising, She’s Falling

39

Shabbos Zmanim Candle Lighting Parshas Netzavim 6:46 Parshas Vayeilech 6:41 Shabbos Ends Parshas Netzavim 7:46 Parshas Vayeilech 7:36


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

Israeli CEO is One of Top 50 in the World

Another list from Fortune and this one ranks the 50 most influential women in the world. Rakefet Russak-Aminoach, president and CEO of Israeli baking giant Leumi, made the prestigious list at number 43. Most of the spots on the list were held by citizens of the United States, the U.K, China, and Switzerland. The annual ranking focused on how Russak-Aminoach responded to Israel’s tightening of its banking regulations. “Russak-Aminoach, whose bank posted a 73% increase in profits to $730 million, responded by announcing the early retirement of 700 of its more than 12,000 employees. The bank will also shutter some branches and launch a fully-mobile bank called Pepper later this year,” the magazine wrote. Despite the recent esteem for the banking businesswoman by the paper, the mass firing was heavily criticized by labor groups in Israel. The article also mentioned that though she had to work within a law that caps the salaries of those in the banking industry, her $2.1 million paycheck is the highest of the country’s top four banks. The list also includes several American Jews. Among them are Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg at number 6, Modelez International CEO and Chairman Irene Rosenfeld at number 8, Israeli-born Oracle CEO Safra Catz at number 10, and Google and Alphabet CFO Ruth Porat at number 13.

Bibi’s Rousing Words at the UN The highly anticipated visit from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Ne-

tanyahu to the U.N. took place last week on September 22. The Israeli leader touched on many topics during his speech at the 71st United Nations General Assembly. The prime minister spent the bulk of his time at the podium on a fiery rebuke of the Palestinian agenda and leadership, urging nations to halt their bias against the Jewish State. Netanyahu invited Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas to speak in front of the Israeli Knesset and offered to speak at the PA headquarters in Ramallah in order to put together a peace deal. Bibi explicitly illustrated how the PA continues to

incite terror by “poisoning the future” through educational and TV programs aimed at villainizing Israel and sanctifying “martyrs.” Netanyahu, who spoke minutes after Abbas, laid out the Abbas’s choice, ”You can continue to stoke hatred, as you did today. Or you can confront hatred and work with me to establish peace between our two nations.” Netanyahu underscored that he is “committed to a vision of peace based on two states for two people,” and that “Israel is ready to negotiate all final status issues,” as “the road to peace is through Jerusalem and Ramallah, not New York.”

“One thing I would never negotiate is our right to the one, only Jewish state,” Netanyahu thundered to a large round of applause. “This conflict is not about the settlements, it never was,” he said, contradicting Abbas’s earlier speech. “It’s always been about the existence of a Jewish state.” He pointed out, “If the Palestinians had said yes to a Jewish state in 1947 there would have been no war… and when they do finally say yes to a Jewish state we will be able to end this conflict once and for all,” Netanyahu said. Bibi also spent a long time blasting Hamas and Iran. Hamas has still

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

not returned the remains of two Israeli soldiers that were killed in action during Operation Protective Edge two years ago. He also brought to light how they have rejected any negotiations on the return of three captured Israeli nationals. He urged the world’s leaders to stand with the families of these victims “and against the inhumanity of Hamas.”

As for Iran, Bibi promised to never let them develop nuclear weapons, “not now, not in a decade, not ever,” he promised. He returned to the theme of many of his previous speeches by calling Iran the greatest threat to “Israel, the region, and the world.” In spite of last year’s nuclear deal with Iran, Netanyahu said that the “threat Iran poses to all of us is not behind us, it’s before us.” There “must be a sustained, united effort to push back against Iranian aggression, Iran’s terror,” he added.

First Presidential Debate: Hillary Comes Out Swinging “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth,” once said a famous heavyweight boxer. At the first presidential debate at Hofstra University last Monday night, Hillary Clinton went on the attack against Trump and he did not seem to have much of a plan. Whereas Clinton came across as well-prepared – and to some, perhaps as overly rehearsed – Trump seemed to rely on his usual

concoction of bombast, spontaneity and charm. However, those tools were not enough to fend off Hillary’s attacks and didn’t seem to have the effectiveness that they have at the massive rallies that Trump holds on the campaign trail.

Hillary charged full steam ahead at Trump on matters such as his questionable business practices, his failure to release his tax returns, and his prior statements about women. Trump, on the other hand, did not go after Hillary on the Benghazi debacle and the Clinton Foundation pay-for-play and only made tepid mention of her use of a private email server while Secretary of State. When Clinton suggested that Trump is not releasing his tax returns because “they may reveal that he is not as rich as he says he is or charitable as he says he is,” Trump replied, “I will release my tax returns... when she releases her 33,000 emails that have been deleted.” Aside for that exchange, Trump did not continue to attack Hillary on her being untruthful with the American people about her illegal use of a private email server while secretary of state. Towards the end of the debate when Clinton tore into many of Trump’s past controversial statements, Trump appeared “locked and loaded” to return fire. But he hesitated and said, “I was going to say something extremely rough on Hillary... and I said to myself, ‘I can’t do it, I just can’t do it. It’s inappropriate. It’s not nice.’” After the debate Trump explained that he wanted to bring up Bill Clinton’s indiscretions but thoughtfully didn’t do so because daughter Chelsea was present. Moderator Lester Holt, nightly news anchor for NBC, allowed the candidates to spar but jumped in at times on behalf of Clinton. Although Trump commented after the debate that “I thought Lester did a great job,” many of his supporters were outraged that Holt asked Trump six follow-up questions – indicating that his answers were not satisfactory – and did not ask even one follow-up question

to Clinton. Holt also attempted to fact-check Trump numerous times but never did so to Hillary. In total, he cut off Trump 41 times and only did so to Clinton 7 times. Even so, the majority of online instant snap polls immediately after the debate were favorable to Trump. However, by their nature, online polls are suspect and the true measure of who won the debate may be seen approximately one week after the debate, when the national polls reflect voters’ post-debate opinion of the candidates. It remains to be seen how this debate affects the election, if at all. The next presidential debate will be held on Sunday, October 9 and will take the form of a town hall meeting. The last presidential debate will take place on Wednesday, October 19, which is on chol hamoed Succos. A vice presidential election between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine will take place on Tuesday, October 4.

and BJs to help feed the needy. But she needed to do more. Now she has added couponing to her mission and the results are amazing. “I started couponing for food items like spaghetti, meatballs, and I was (often) able to get the items for free or for little to no money,” the New Jersey native explained. If done correctly, she said she can feed as many as 150 people on just $20, depending on the items. Lauren holds four degrees, including a bachelor’s, two masters, and a Ph.D. in psychology. But beyond those accomplishments, she said, “The joy of helping other people does not compare to any other accomplishment in my life.” She wishes to pass along her passion to her five-year-old son. “It is very important to teach him to help other people,” Lauren said. “The little things we take for granted, the food we throw away every day ... and if we just spread a little more love around, the world would be such a better place.” Lauren’s goal is to provide 30,000 meals by the time she’s 30. Her next delivery? Feeding 1,200 people in Washington, D.C., next month.

Clipping with Compassion

Lunch Money

Ever buy a newspaper on Sunday? You can barely lift it before coupons start flying all over the floor. But coupons are good for something – hey, some people actually use them! Lauren Puryear has put coupons to good use. The 29-year-old has fed 5,572 people since she has started couponing and hopes to increase that number in the coming year by enlisting friends and family to shop with her. “My first couponing experience ever was canned vegetables. I was able to get them for four cents a can at Dollar General so I bought 420 cans and I added chicken and rice to that meal.” Lauren devotes up to 10 hours a week searching for deals. “Just knowing that we’re making a difference in someone’s life, that’s the most rewarding thing and what keeps me going,” the indefatigable do-gooder said. Lauren started her initiative, The Love of Others, four years ago, after her grandmother passed away. Her grandmother had instilled within her a passion to do good and initially Lauren was buying food in bulk at Costco

It was lunchtime for Selena Avalos and as she opened up her box of chicken wings from Domino’s, she was surprised and shocked. Instead of crispy wings, the San Jose woman received a pile of cash – $5,000 in greenbacks. Can I have some fries with that? Avalos, although pleased with her find, realized that she must have received the store’s bank deposit instead of her usual poultry. She called Domino’s to let them know of her find. Interestingly, no one called her back. Avalos kept trying without success and in desperation called the local news who were able to connect her with the corporate branch of Domino’s. The restaurant is thrilled to have their money back, relieved to have given it to their most honest customer, and embarrassed to have made the mistake. In appreciation for her honesty, Avalos won’t have to worry about buying lunch anymore. The store is gifting her with a free pizza for a year. And her employer is so proud that it is giving Avalos a week of paid vacation from work. That’s what we call a slice of nice.


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‫‪The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016‬‬

‫‪ News fro‬באדיבות אתר ערוץ ‪7‬‬ ‫!‪m Israel‬‬

‫!‬

‫ה"ב להתנגד למדינה פלסטינית‬ ‫על אר‬

‫אש עיריית ניו יורק לשעבר רודי‬ ‫ר‬

‫! הברית‬ ‫!להסיר‬

‫ג'וליאני מתנגד להקמתה של‬

‫מדינה פלסטינית וקורא לארצות‬

‫מסדר היום את האפשרות הזו‬

‫!‬ ‫!‬ ‫רודי ג'וליאני נאם הערב )מוצאי‬ ‫אש עיריית ניו יורק לשעבר‬ ‫ר‬ ‫!‪.‬הנערך בווש‬

‫ינגטון בארה"ב )‪ (IAC‬אמריקנית‬

‫!‬

‫שבת( בכנס הקהילה הישראלית‬

‫בישראל‪" ,‬חשוב לי להגיד לכם‬ ‫להקמתה של מדינה פלסטינית‬ ‫אני הבהיר בנאומו כי הוא מתנגד‬ ‫הקהל הריע לו‪" .‬ארה"ב צריכה‬ ‫ג'ולי‬ ‫רון שתי המדינות"‪ ,‬אמר ג'וליאני ו‬ ‫על ארצות הברית להתנגד לפת‬ ‫טינית רק כשהרשות הפלסטינית‬ ‫כי‬ ‫עליה לאפשר הקמת מדינה פלס‬ ‫לדחות את רעיון שתי המדינות ‪-‬‬ ‫!‪".‬תוכיח שהיא ראויה לכך‬ ‫שיבטל את ההסכם עם איראן‪...‬אי‬ ‫'וליאני‪" ,‬אני מקווה שיבחר נשיא‬ ‫בהתייחסו לאיום האיראני אמר ג‬ ‫אנשים שמאיימים להשמיד את‬ ‫אשים נשק אטומטי בידיים של‬ ‫לסמוך על איראן‪ .‬אני מעולם לא‬ ‫אפשר‬ ‫בא צריך להבין מי חבר מי אויב‬ ‫!‪".‬ישראל‪ .‬הנשיא ה‬ ‫רה בין הממשלות שלנו ‪ -‬האומה‬ ‫יורק לשעבר‪" ,‬לא משנה מה קו‬ ‫ום הדברים אמר ראש עיריית ניו‬ ‫המדינות הנהדרות בעולם‪ .‬תמיד‬ ‫בסיכ‬ ‫את ישראל ואני חושב שהיא אחת‬ ‫הב‬ ‫או‬ ‫אני‬ ‫ם‪...‬‬ ‫תכ‬ ‫א‬ ‫בת‬ ‫כאן אוה‬ ‫וישראל נמצאות באותה הסירה‬ ‫רעיונות ואני יכול להגיד שארה"ב‬ ‫!‪".‬חלקנו ערכים ו‬ ‫פעולה עם ישראל‪ .‬בהיותו ראש‬ ‫הזכיר את החשיבות בשיתוף ה‬ ‫אני ידוע כתומך ישראל ולא פעם‬ ‫בר בהם נרצחו כ‪ 3,000-‬בני אדם‬ ‫ג׳ולי‬ ‫רק בפיגועי האחד עשר בספטמ‬ ‫!‪.‬העיר הותקפה ניו יו‬ ‫‪ ,57‬מקרי הרצח ב‪ 65%-‬והעיר אף‬ ‫רדו מעשי הפשיעה הכללית ב‪%-‬‬ ‫ציין כי תחת הנהגתו את העיר‪ ,‬י‬ ‫!נ‬ ‫!הוכרה על ידי ה‬ ‫הבטוחה ביותר בארצות הברית‬ ‫!‪.-FBI‬כעיר הגדולה‬

‫!‬

‫!‬

‫!‬

‫!‬

‫!‬ ‫!‬

‫!‬ ‫!‬ ‫!‬

‫אוקראינה יגיע לקבר ר' נחמן‬ ‫ראש ממשלת‬ ‫קראינה‪ ,‬נהנים המגיעים לאומן‬

‫שנבחר ראש ממשלה יהודי באו‬

‫מיחס משודרג של השלטונות‬

‫!‬ ‫!‪.‬‬ ‫המגיעים לאומן מיחס משודרג‬ ‫!‬ ‫קראינה‪ ,‬ולדימיר גרויסמן‪ ,‬נהנים‬ ‫שנבחר ראש ממשלה יהודי באו‬ ‫אז‬ ‫!‪.‬מאז‬

‫גם השנה‪ ,‬עשרות אלפי יהודים‬

‫מ‬ ‫!‪.‬של השלטונות‬

‫!‬

‫ברו של רבי נחמן מברסלב באומן‬

‫יגיעו להתפלל בראש השנה בק‬

‫ת‪" ,‬בכל שנה יותר ויותר אנשים‬ ‫שלום"‪ ,‬מספר לערוץ ‪ 7‬על ההכנו‬ ‫ברהם חזין‪ ,‬ממנהלי אתר "אומן‬ ‫ודים‪ ,‬אבל גם במהלך כל השנה‬ ‫א‬ ‫שעברה הגיעו לכאן ‪ 50‬אלף יה‬ ‫גיעים לאומן לראש השנה‪ ,‬בשנה‬ ‫מ‬ ‫!‪.‬מגיעים לכאן מאות אלפים‬


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‫‪SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home‬‬

‫בכל שבת‬ ‫רגילה יש כאן לפחות ‪ 500-600‬מ‬ ‫תפ‬ ‫לל‬ ‫ים‬ ‫ו‬ ‫עוד‬ ‫ה‬ ‫מון‬ ‫ק‬ ‫בוצ‬ ‫ות‬ ‫!‪.‬נש‬ ‫שמגיעות לאומן בעיקר של"‬ ‫ים ובנות חילוניות כולל קבוצות‬ ‫של ערכים והידברות"‪ ,‬מספר חזין‬ ‫לדב‬ ‫ריו מאז שהתמנה ראש ממשלה‬ ‫י‬ ‫הו‬ ‫די‪,‬‬ ‫ה‬ ‫כל‬ ‫נר‬ ‫אה‬ ‫אח‬ ‫רת‪.‬‬ ‫"נ‬ ‫פת‬ ‫ומסעד‬ ‫חו כאן עשרות מלוניות מפוארות‬ ‫ות כשרות‪ ,‬זה הפך להיות מבחי‬ ‫נת‬ ‫ה‬ ‫עיר‬ ‫א‬ ‫ומן‬ ‫א‬ ‫תר‬ ‫ת‬ ‫ייר‬ ‫ות‪.‬‬ ‫ולדימיר גרוי‬ ‫מאז שנבחר לראשות הממשלה‬ ‫סמן שהוא יהודי‪ ,‬היחס השתנה‬ ‫לטו‬ ‫בה‬ ‫ו‬ ‫אנ‬ ‫חנו‬ ‫יו‬ ‫דע‬ ‫ים‬ ‫ש‬ ‫הוא‬ ‫י‬ ‫בוא לבקר באומן בשבוע של‬ ‫!‪".‬ראש השנה לכבוד חגיגות ‪0‬‬ ‫‪40‬‬ ‫ש‬ ‫נה‬ ‫לאו‬ ‫מן‪.‬‬ ‫הוא‬ ‫גם‬ ‫יב‬ ‫קר‬ ‫בציון‬ ‫חזין מ‬ ‫ציין שאומן כבר מזמן אינה נחל‬ ‫תם‬ ‫הב‬ ‫לע‬ ‫דית‬ ‫של‬ ‫חס‬ ‫ידי‬ ‫ב‬ ‫רס‬ ‫לב‪,‬‬ ‫הם חסידי‬ ‫"בראש השנה רק עשרים אחוז‬ ‫ברסלב‪ ,‬השאר זה מכל הזרמים‪,‬‬ ‫ס‬ ‫תם‬ ‫א‬ ‫נש‬ ‫ים‬ ‫שה‬ ‫הג‬ ‫עה‬ ‫ל‬ ‫כאן‬ ‫נ‬ ‫יש כאן מלא חסידי‬ ‫ותנת להם 'חיות' לכל השנה‪.‬‬ ‫סאטמר מויליאמסבורג‪ ,‬ליטאים‬ ‫רב‬ ‫ים‪,‬‬ ‫ו‬ ‫חס‬ ‫ידי‬ ‫ח‬ ‫ב"ד‬ ‫ש‬ ‫פת‬ ‫חו‬ ‫!‪.‬בנוסח חב"ד‬ ‫כאן בית כנסת מיוחד‬

‫!‬

‫!‬ ‫!‬

‫כמובן‬ ‫גם הרבה כיפות סרוגות ונוער ג‬ ‫!‪".‬אלף איש‬

‫!‬

‫בעות בהמוניהם‪ .‬אנחנו צופ‬ ‫ים שהשנה יגיעו יותר מחמישים"‬

‫לדבריו‬ ‫הרבנים אוסרים על נשים להגיע‬ ‫ל‬ ‫ציון‬ ‫בר‬ ‫אש‬ ‫הש‬ ‫נה‪,‬‬ ‫"‬ ‫יש‬ ‫תופ‬ ‫לראש הש‬ ‫עה שמגיעות נשים עם הבעלים‬ ‫נה‪ ,‬וכאן נוצרה בעיה כי במקום כ‬ ‫זה‬ ‫צר‬ ‫ש‬ ‫יש‬ ‫בו‬ ‫חמ‬ ‫יש‬ ‫ים‬ ‫א‬ ‫לף‬ ‫א‬ ‫!‪.‬בעיה‬ ‫יש‪ ,‬אם מסתובבות נשים זאת‬

‫!‬

‫לכן ה‬ ‫רבנים קראו לכל הנשים שבאות‬ ‫לא‬ ‫ומן‬ ‫לה‬ ‫יש‬ ‫אר‬ ‫ב‬ ‫בית‬ ‫ו‬ ‫לא‬ ‫ל‬ ‫הס‬ ‫!‪".‬נשים אבל‬ ‫תובב בחוץ‪ .‬בכל השנה יש עזרת"‬ ‫בראש השנה היא ממילא סגורה‬

‫!‬

‫חזין מציין שמי שנרשם השנה מוק‬ ‫דם‬ ‫ל‬ ‫טיס‬ ‫ות‬ ‫לא‬ ‫ומן‬ ‫ה‬ ‫רוו‬ ‫יח‬ ‫מא‬ ‫ות דו‬ ‫חזור‬ ‫לרים‪" ,‬כרגע טיסה לאומן הלוך‬ ‫עולה ‪ 750‬דולר לאדם‪ ,‬אבל לפני‬ ‫חוד‬ ‫שי‬ ‫ים‬ ‫ה‬ ‫יה‬ ‫מי‬ ‫שת‬ ‫רם‬ ‫שני‬ ‫מ‬ ‫זה נגמר‬ ‫טוסים במחיר של ‪ 148‬דולר‪ .‬לאדם‬ ‫תוך יומיים‪ .‬לגבי אוכל יש קבוצות‬ ‫שמ‬ ‫תא‬ ‫רגנ‬ ‫ות‬ ‫ל‬ ‫בד‬ ‫ו‬ ‫יש‬ ‫את‬ ‫ה‬ ‫!‪”.‬המ‬ ‫הכנסת אורחים של שיינר‪ ,‬שם‬ ‫חיר מסובסד ‪ 400 -‬שקל לכל החג‬

‫!‬

‫‪10‬‬


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

Around the

Community NCSY Current Events Only weeks into the new school year, we have already broken records in our weekly Latte and Learn attendance numbers. Latte and learn

is where Jewish teenager from various schools come together once a week to reconnect with their Jewish friends and get a weekly dose of Torah. Lattes and Learns are ran in cities across South Florida. Last week, over 100 teens gathered in Hollywood at the Dunkin Donuts on Sterling Road. We saw record numbers in Boca Raton, Aventura and Miami Beach! This past summer Southern NCSY brought 88 public school teens from South Florida to Israel on TJJ: The Shuval Journey, a 4 week experience to Israel. The trip was so impactful that within the first month of this year over 100 teens have pre-registered for Summer 2017. BEST.SUMMER. EVER. www.summer.ncsy.org

MONTHLY MITZVAH MENU OCTOBER

Canned Salmon/Tuna Mayonnaise Sugar Dishwashing Liquid

Please have your students bring an item or two from the list above Drop it in the designated KFKFB BIN in your school The BIN will be delivered to the Kosher Food Bank monthly Tizku L’mitzvot

(305) 947-8093

All packages must be listed with one of the following acceptable kosher symbols:

For More Information Please Contact:

JCS Kosher Food Bank Director

Bonnie Schwartzbaum: foodbank@jcsfl.org

Kids for Kosher Food Bank Founder + Chair Anat Garzon: anatgarzon@gmail.com Sharon Schechter Rudman: srudman@bellsouth.net

We began 2016-2017 with some controlled MADNESS at Ninja Lounge in Miami where over 370 teens rocked our kick off event! Teens jumped on the trampolines, chilled with their friends in the lounge, met some new friends, took pics at the photo booth and had networking opportunities to learn about upcoming NCSY events. Midnight Madness is

the first event of the year and we really started things off right! This year we are looking forward to many great things... we have new chapters, new programs and new staff members. All this together makes this year the best one ever. It’s never been a better time to be a teen in Southern NCSY!

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Kollel Opens Doors to New Bais Midrash It has been four years in the making and thousands of hours in the planning. Most people, including the creators of the project, thought it was more of a dream than a projected reality, but when the Kollel of North Miami Beach, Florida opened the doors of its new home, that dream indeed became a reality.  The Chanukas Habayis Inauguration was a three-day event that encompassed and enthralled the community with a satisfaction that could only be matched by the beauty of their new home. The Kollel’s new home was a combination of splendor and gratitude as every elaborate fixture, book case, window, table, chair, paneling, flooring and sefer had been donated by a community striving to be a brick in this structure of Torah.   The community event began on Thursday  with hundreds of men, women and children gathering in front of the Kollel to partake in the joy of transferring the Torah Scrolls to their new home.  The dancing peaked as Rav Dovid Schustal of Lakewood, entered the facility and escorted the Torah Scrolls into the new home for the first time. The evening of inspiration continued as speakers delivered their praise and bracha to the Kollel’s success and future accomplishments. Rav Aaron Kotler of Lakewood introduced the event by complimenting the community and the leadership in creating such a beautiful place. Rav Tzvi Eliyahu Meir Schmelczer and Rav Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro, the Rav of Cong. Shaaray Tefilah (the Kollel’s

Mr. Ely Levy donated the building in honor of his father z_l

previous home for many years) gave their blessing and praise of this monumental event. Rav Yaakov Tzvi Blejer and Rav Ahron Dovid Singer thanked the many people who made the new home of the Kollel a reality and declaring it a place of Torah for all. The program concluded with a community-wide siyum hashas (completion of Talmud) which was led by Mr. Ely Levy who donated the building in honor of his father. Kaddish was recited by R’ Chaim Meisels, the founding president and visionary of the Kollel. There was no doubt that the entire community felt a unity and debt of gratitude to the Kollel for the many years of lecture, shiurim, events and honest friendship bestowed by the members of the Kollel. “Community dedication to the growth of Torah has led to a new home for those who want to be inspired and expand their spirituality. This new building belongs to everyone and will bring hatzlacha to those who visit and learn within its walls,” exclaimed Rabbi Blejer. North Miami Beach has indeed been transformed and enhanced with the opening of the Kollel’s new home and the entire community looks forward to its continued success. The NMB Kollel Located at 990 Northeast 175th Street, is a non-profit that provides shiurim to the communities in Aventura, Hallandale, Hollywood and Surfside and infuses South Florida with a taste of Torah. Rabbi Aharon Dovid Singer can be reached at 305-972-6508 or office@kollelofnmb.org.

Roshei Kollel and Rav Schustal carrying in Torahs

Dancing in the new building

Rabbi Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro

Rav Kotler speaking at the event


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

When a Shabbaton Becomes a Shavuaton Need a New car or truck? We can help! Any Make / Any Model Sales / Leasing / Finance / Purchase Insurance Services • Detailing Window Tinting • Car Wraps Exotic Rentals • Custom Installations

Wholesale To The Public Why Pay More? Call us today!

954-987-CARS (2277)

info@RegencyLeasing.com www.RegencyLeasing.com 3000 Stirling Road • Suite 100 Hollywood • FL • 33021

Retreat Provides Programs to Promote the Core Values of Sha’arei Bina TAG (Torah Academy for Girls) What happens when you take the best elements of a Shabbaton and schedule it during the week? It becomes a Shavuaton, a twoday whirlwind amalgamation of Torah learning, bonding activities, significant dialogues and achdus. Spearheaded by our new Head of School Dr. Brand, the retreat was scheduled at the beginning of the school year to “promote unity among our growing student body and offer unique opportunities for the teachers and the administration to nurture their relationships with the students through deep meaningful conversations as well as extraordinarily interactive and fun activities,  It also of-

fered a special opportunity to remind our students that by forging relationships with friends, we learn how to believe and then achieve lasting relationships with Hashem.” And the feedback? Students loved Project Challenge, an actual boat building team activity organized by our dynamic Director of Student Life Mrs. Rivkah Bodkins. Others loved the tile painting project, the campfire kumsitz, the inspiring shiur given by Principal Tobi Wolf and the bunk-bonding time. Believe. Inspire. Nurture. Achieve. Our TAG-line was reinforced in just two days. May this program set the bar for the upcoming 2016-2017 school year.


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

Katz Hillel Day School Celebrates A “Decade Of Dedication” Who would have imagined the impact that Rabbi Adam and Shira Englander would have on our community when they first arrived in Boca Raton? In only 10 short years, the Englanders have left an indelible mark on Katz Hillel Day School (KHDS) in numerous ways. Through Rabbi Englander’s vision, energy and wisdom, KHDS has grown both in enrollment as well as in the quality of the educational and extra-curricular programs. The Englanders embody the values that KHDS holds so dear, namely, a deep commitment to the love and study of Torah and Mitzvot within a warm, inclusive environment. The Englander family moved from New York in 2006, and Rabbi Englander began his KHDS journey

as the Upper School Principal. In 2014, he became Head of School and his leadership has provided optimal conditions for the faculty and students to flourish. Rabbi Englander’s warm and caring personality is evident in all that he does.  Shira, an employee of Katz Yeshiva High School for the past 9 years, is also dedicated to Jewish education. She is always willing to help many causes and volunteers her time on a regular basis.  Shira is routinely involved in many KHDS programs as well as the Katz Hillel PTA, Boca Raton Synagogue and in the community at large. She is always there to help and volunteers her time on a regular basis.  The Englanders have opened their home to hundreds of students over the years and exemplify all that

KHDS represents. They are giving of their time and are role models for our children as well as the community. The Englanders have four children, Gabi (Class of 2014), and current KHDS students Tani, Rivka and Meir. We thank the Englanders for their dedication to our school and community, and their passion in striving for excellence in education day after day. Katz Hillel Day School of Boca Raton will honor the Englanders for a “Decade of Dedication” at their Annual Journal Dinner, scheduled for December 12, 2016. Also being honored are faculty members Leslie Firestone, Beth Janock and Beth Kaminetsky, for 13 years of dedicated service to the school. Event co-chairs are Dr. Joshua and Stephanie Stern and Uri

Rabbi Adam and Shira Englander

and Rachel Yudewitz. Proceeds benefit the school’s scholarship fund. For more information visit: http://www. hilleldayschool.org/AnnualJournalDinner2016.php.

YTCTE host Gift of Life Drive for Adam Yeshiva Toras Chaim Toras Emes hosts Gift of Life bone marrow drive this past Friday in hopes of finding a suitable donor for Adam. Between the hours of 8-10am, YTCTE recruited men and women to come get

swabbed. YTCTE Parent ambassador, Chava Mann coordinated and executed this event. Despite uncomfortably hot temperatures, a record breaking 70 attendees participated in hopes of being Adams match. Adam is a 31

year old father of 3 small children and is battling an aggressive cancer, and is in desperate need of a bone marrow transplant. The registry is as simple

as a swab of your cheek. Gift of Life marrow registry is a public bone marrow and blood stem cell registry headquartered in Boca Raton, Fl. 

YOU HAVE THE GIFT TO CURE BLOOD CANCER

Adam, 31, and father of three young children, needs your help to find a life-saving match

Joining the registry is as easy as a simple swab of your cheek. Eligible donors must be between the ages of 18-45 and in general good health, meet the guidelines and be willing to donate to any patient, at any time, worldwide. Donors 45-60 are asked to consider the $60 processing fee incurred with processing each swab kit. Contributions of any amount are appreciated.

giftoflife.org

Toras Emes Campus (Carpool Dropoff) 1099 NE 164 Street, N. Miami Beach, FL 33162

Sept. 23, 2016, 8:30am-10:00am Contact: Hava Mann Chavitamann@hotmail.com

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

College Board Names 29 Scheck Hillel AP Scholars Twenty-nine (29) students at Scheck Hillel Community School have earned 33 2016 AP Scholar Awards in recognition of their exceptional achievement on AP Exams. The College Board recognizes several levels of achievement based on students’ performance on AP Exams. Four of the 29 Scholars qualified for the National AP Scholar Award by earning an average score of 4 or higher on a five-point scale on all AP Exams taken, and scores of 4 or higher on eight or more of these exams. These students are Steven Bursztyn, Sarah Dreyfuss, Ariel Gelrud and Abraham Milhem, all members of the Class of 2016. Sixteen (16) Scheck Hillel students qualified for the AP Scholar with Distinction Award by earning an average score of at least 3.5 on all AP Exams taken, and scores of 3 or higher on five or more of these exams. These

students are Steven Bursztyn, Sarah Dreyfuss, Uriel Epelbaum, Ariel Gelrud, Daniela Hojda, Daniella Lanes, Eithan Martinez, Sivanne Mendelson, Abraham Milhem, Tamar Mizrahi, Daniela Schmutter, Sarah Waxman, Abigail Winograd, Ilana Woldenberg, Joseph Wolf, and Jordana Zackon. Victoria Cohen-Sechter qualified for the AP Scholar with Honor Award by earning an average score of at least 3.25 on all AP Exams taken, and scores of 3 or higher on four or more of these exams. Twelve (12) students qualified for the AP Scholar Award by completing three or more AP Exams with scores of 3 or higher. The AP Scholars are Daniel Assor, Shana Cohen, Fortunee Cohen, Moises Doron, Shayel Encaoua, Mark Hanz, Charles Israel, Shanna Lewinsky, Rochelle Lieberman, Jacob Mars, Harrison Mizraji and Danielle Scheck.

Scheck Hillel Community School's Class of 2016

Scheck Hillel offers 22 AP courses, providing willing and academically prepared students the opportunity to earn college credit or advanced placement and stand out in the college admission process. From early childhood through Grade 12, Scheck Hillel Community School educates and inspires students to become exemplary global citizens

with enduring Jewish identity and values through an individualized college preparatory curriculum and meaningful co-curricular experiences highlighted by STEM. Scheck Hillel is one of the world’s largest Jewish community day schools and a National Blue Ribbon School of Excellence.

Shana Tova U'Metukah ‫שנה טובה ומתוקה‬

Congratulations to our Class of 2016, Accepted to Some of the Nation's Finest Colleges & Universities Best Wishes for an Incredible Freshman Year! Duke

200+

acceptances to Ivy League universities, state colleges and gap year programs

Cornell Florida

NYU

National Merit Scholar Finalists, Commended Students, National Hispanic Merit Scholars

State Soccer Champions

100+ students in National Art Honor Societies

University of Pennsylvania

29

AP Scholars named by College Board

Michigan Vanderbilt

Winner of Technion-Israel Institute of Technology’s STEM Challenge

Syracuse

& More

Keynote Presenters of Young Engineers Conference Presenter at Int’l. Society for Technology in Education

Because you want more.

Schedule your private family tour. We can’t wait to welcome you and are accepting applications for 2017-18. From early childhood through Grade 12, Scheck Hillel Community School educates and inspires students to become exemplary global citizens with enduring Jewish identity and values through an individualized college preparatory curriculum highlighted by STEM and design, Capstone, college dual enrollment, arts, athletics and service learning. Our 14 acres include a new 115,000-sq.-ft athletic complex with additional academic expansion plans. Scheck Hillel is one of the world's largest Jewish community day schools and a National Blue Ribbon School of Excellence. We are more than your child’s school; we are your family’s community.

Scheck Hillel Community School 18 months - Grade 12 305.931.2831 eHillel.org North Miami Beach


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

Scheck Hillel Chief Academic Officer Expands Focus on Individualized Student Experience, Advances School’s Strategic Plan Scheck Hillel Community School has expanded the role of one of its longtime educators as part of the school’s increased approach to personalized instruction and offerings. Head of School Dr. Ezra Levy has appointed Mr. Craig Carpentieri as Chief Academic Officer (CAO) to guide the school’s curriculum and instructional methods with an expanded focus on individualized student growth, opportunity and achievement. The CAO works within the Office of the Head of School. “Empowering our students to reach their full potential so they find fulfillment, happiness and success is our priority here at Scheck Hillel,” Levy said. “As Chief Academic Officer, Craig Carpentieri will further customize and personalize the learning experience for each and every child by working hand in hand with teachers, administrators and parents. I am eager for all that’s ahead for our students this year and beyond.”

Upon a recent infusion of technology, digital tools and professional development throughout Scheck Hillel, Carpentieri will continue to deepen the offerings of the school’s personalized program through use of student data and modern, time-tested and emerging methods of education. He is a resource for the school’s roster of 250 educators. “Ultimately, my role is to serve our students by supporting our talented, committed teachers,” Carpentieri said. “At Scheck Hillel, whether you are teaching toddlers in Early Childhood or teens preparing for college in biomedical engineering, you are here first and foremost because you care about each child’s needs and creating opportunities for success. I’m here to partner with my colleagues so that when we teach, every child soars.’” Hallmarks of 2016 student achievement at Scheck Hillel include STEM students’ win of an international Technion University technology

challenge and invitations to keynote a New York engineering conference and present at a Denver educational technology conference. The Class of 2016 was accepted to schools like the University of Pennsylvania, University of Florida, University of Michigan, Duke University, Vanderbilt University, Yeshiva University, and many other colleges and gap year programs. This CAO appointment advances Scheck Hillel’s strategic plan as it looks to its upcoming 50th anniversary in 2020. “With student creativity and innovation as the guiding light, the Scheck Hillel experience is designed for students to carve out their own learning journeys within the school’s overall college prep, Jewish educational curriculum,” Levy said. “Initiatives in place today and those being planned for tomorrow are built upon deep Scheck Hillel tradition, mission and values, turning the page into our next chapter to develop rising generations with the knowledge and identity

that fosters a bright Jewish future.” About Mr. Carpentieri: Carpentieri has been core to Scheck Hillel’s educational program for nearly a decade; until now, he was the Director of Curriculum & Instruction. “I’m honored to serve our Scheck Hillel community of families and faculty,” he said. “Teachers helped shape my life in profound ways, and I’ve devoted myself to education to, in turn, do the same for today’s children.”

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

First Annual Grandparents Day Bike-a-thon Celebrating and Honoring the Elderly

Start line in Greynolds Park

On Sunday, September 11, South Florida residents marked Grandparents Day in a unique and meaningful way. Over 150 people participated in the first annual Grandparents Day Bike-a-thon, with over 50 bikers raising awareness for senior citizens. The first of its kind, the Grandparents Day Bike-a-thon was a celebration honoring the elder community. “We have just raised tremendous awareness about senior citizens. We are so blessed to have an older generation that we can learn from, let’s get more connected with them” says Rabbi Smith, director of United Jewish Generations. “We hope this will change the trend, and make people think more about honoring and visiting seniors,” em-

phasizes Smith. Bikers were anywhere from 10 years old to 70. Every biker had the option to choose a senior citizen they wish to ride in honor of. Special certificates are currently being mailed to the senior citizens acknowledging that someone chose to ride in their honor. The Bike-a-thon began at Greynolds Park, where the bikers had an energizing breakfast before hitting the road. Bikers chose between a local eight mile ride around Miami or a tri-county 34 mile ride to Boca. The tri-county riders crossed the finish line at Edgewater Pointe Estates, where they were greeted by seniors and together enjoyed a musical performance, award ceremony and delicious lunch.

Three generations participate in the Bike-a-thon

Simcha and Frumma Gottlieb, who are grandparents themselves, joined the local ride along with some of their grandchildren. “We love riding, and getting outdoors and exercising,” says Simcha Gottlieb. “It was perfect fit for us, and it promotes health and wellness to this target audience in a positive way.” Charles Ness participated in the bike-a-thon together with his children, mother and step-father. “What a fun way to teach my children the importance of honoring their grandparents. All three generations had such a wonderful time riding together and also felt great about supporting an organization that fills such a void,” says Ness. Special thanks to the corporate

sponsors: Hampton Court Nursing and Rehab, South Florida Kosher Market, SilverOak Home Health Care, Florida Jewish Funerals, Sapoznik Insurance, City Bikes, Chen Med and Walgreens. For more info on the Grandparents Day Bike-a-ton visit: www.GrandparentsDayBikeathon.org United Jewish Generations brings happiness, enjoyment and inspiration to senior citizens through various services and events. UJG promotes Jewish pride, practice and values by offering educational lectures and experiences of our heritage. Under the auspices of Chabad, UJG serves as an oasis of strength, hope and purpose. Check out their website at www. UnitedJewishGenerations.com

Posnack School celebrates New Sefer Torah Dedication

The Posnack School celebrated another important milestone last week as the entire student body gathered with parents, staff and friends of the school to dedicate a sefer Torah (Torah scroll). The writing of a Torah scroll is an expensive and time-consuming process that requires great skill and expertise. Each letter is handwritten with a turkey feather quill by a sofer sta”m or Torah scribe on vellum made from the

skin of a kosher animal. The writing of a sefer Torah can take an entire year and is considered the fulfillment of an important mitzvah (commandment) by those who commission the work. The creation of a new Torah scroll is a momentous and joyous event in the life of any Jewish community. The Torah dedication ceremony was held in the school’s RAM Gymnasium, where the Cusnir Families, who underwrote

the creation of the Torah scroll, had the honor of scribing the two remaining letters with the help of the sofer (scribe). The writing of the letters was filmed live and broadcast onto a giant screen so all in attendance could share in the joy of the event. After completion, the new Torah scroll was carried in honor to the school courtyard where students and community members danced and sang with their new sefer Torah. Other donors to the school’s Sefer Torah Campaign were honored with the scribing of a letter of Torah in the previous week. A reception for the Cusnir Families and the campaign donors followed the dedication ceremony.

Posnack celebrates dedication of Sefer Torah


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

1.

TJH

Centerfold

You gotta be

kidding

A politician was a guest speaker at the golf club dinner. As the politician stood up to speak, a few of the men saw it as an opportunity to sneak off to the bar. An hour later, with the politician still talking, another man joined them. “Is he still talking?” they asked him. “Yes,” said the man. “What on Earth is he talking about?” they asked. “I don’t know,” replied the man. “He’s still introducing himself.”

Riddle me this? There is a party of 100 highpowered politicians. All of them are either honest or liars. You walk in knowing two things: - At least one of them is honest. - If you take any two politicians, at least one of them is a liar. From this information, can you know how many are liars and how many are honest? See answer on next page

Famous Debate Lines…Who Said It? 1. I had a discussion with my daughter Amy the other day before I came here to ask her what the most important issue was. She said she thought the control of nuclear weaponry. 2. Under my plan, I will put Medicare in an ironclad lockbox. 3. I want you to know also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponent’s youth and inexperience. 4. I knew Jack Kennedy; Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy. 5. Sorry. Oops. 6. We can no longer afford to be second best. I want people all over the world to look to the United States again, to feel that we’re on the move, to feel that our high noon is in the future. 7. There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe. 8. When I hear your new ideas, I’m reminded of that ad, “Where’s the beef?” 9. I never attacked him or his looks, and believe me, there’s plenty of subject matter right there.

A. B. C. D. E. F. G. H. I.

Walter Mondale Gerald Ford Jimmy Carter Donald Trump Rick Perry John F. Kennedy Ronald Reagan Al Gore Lloyd Bentsen See answers on next page


The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

25

The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

Match the Flag with the Countries Just in case you see any dignitaries riding around with their flags during the UN General Assembly

~1~

~4~

~8~

~2~

~5~

~3~

~6~

~9~

~7~

~ 10 ~

COUNTRIES: Mexico • China • Switzerland • Brazil • Italy • Britain • Japan • France • Canada • Egypt See answer below Answer to Riddle: 1 is honest and 99 are liars. One of them is honest, satisfying the first piece of information. Then if you take the honest man and any other politician, the other politician must be a liar to satisfy the second piece of information, “If you take any two politicians, at least one of them is a liar.” So 99 are liars.

Answer to Flag Match-Up: 1. Italy; 2. Britain; 3. France; 4. Canada; 5. Egypt; 6. Switzerland; 7. Japan; 8. Mexico; 9. China; 10. Brazil

Answers to Who Said It: 1-C. President Jimmy Carter in the 1980 debate with Ronald Reagan. 2-H. Al Gore at the 2000 debate with George Bush. 3-G. Ronald Reagan during the 1984 presidential debates when asked if, at 73, he was too old to be president. 4-I. Democratic candidate Lloyd Bentsen in the 1988 vice presidential debate when Dan Quayle likened his political experience to that of John F. Kennedy. 5-E. Texas Gov. Rick Perry during the 2012 Republican primary debate after he spent 52 cringe worthy seconds trying to remember the name of a governmental department that he promised to close. 6-F. John F. Kennedy in the 1960 presidential debate with Richard Nixon. 7-B. Gerald Ford, during the 1976 debate against Jimmy Carter. 8-A. Walter Mondale during the 1984 Democratic presidential primary debate. 9- D. Donald Trump during the 2016 Republican primary debate when he was accused of attacking Sen. Rand Paul. Wisdom key: 8-9 correct: You, my friend, are Jack Kennedy! 4-7 correct: You are not a bad debater, but where’s the beef? 0-3 correct: Sorry. Oops!

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Another Look

THE JEWISH HOME

SEPTEMBER 10, 2015

178 04 22

SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Rabbi YY Rubinstein

From Broken to Golden I

remember when my youngest daughter was only eight years old. She came home from school one day with the cheekiest smile on her face, literally bursting to tell me a joke she had just heard. I smiled back at her excitement and she began. “There was an inflatable school with inflatable teachers and inflatable students. One day the principal called one of the boys into his office. The boy stood in front of the principal’s desk and he began, ‘Not only have you have let me and your teachers down, you have let all your friends down ... but worst of all you have let yourself down too!’” For an eight year old it was not at all bad. I laughed, and she giggled and danced away to tell her joke to her mom, sister, and brothers.

As

Rosh Hashana draws near and the last remaining moments of the year tick away, there is nothing more natural than thinking back. There will be pictures we can conjure up when we achieved much and helped others. There will be images of times we failed; when indeed we let ourselves down or let others we care about down too, sometimes badly. Often we feel so deflated we don’t believe we will ever recover or even deserve to. One of the most striking pictures in

my mind is from February of this year. I was standing on a walkway, which was taking me to collect my luggage at San Jose Airport. I was there to speak at the local shul’s annual dinner. Along the walls of the

where the fractures occurred. The astonishing thing is that an ordinary clay pot, which is hardly remarkable or especially pleasing to the eye, suddenly becomes so, precisely because it was broken and has now

walkway in glass cases was a display from a local museum. The cases were filled with clay pots, and intriguingly, all of them had been broken and repaired. The Japanese art of Kintsukuroi (golden repair) takes broken dishes or pots and uses a lacquer mixed with solid gold powder to glue the shattered pieces back together. The effect is quite simply amazing. Veins of shining gold trace the place

been repaired. A craggy broken fissure now gleams, transforming a mundane household container into a work of art. In fact, the more it has been repaired and consequently the more golden lines cover its surface, the more beautiful the object is. One of the pieces had clearly suffered catastrophic damage. It must have fallen hard and received quite a blow to have been shattered in so many places. That pot was by far the most beautiful of all. Last week I went to visit a family and spoke by phone to another that had suffered blows every bit as catastrophic as that pot. We all want our children to be sitting shiva for us one day. Chas v’shalom, no one wants it to be the other way around. The phone call was to a mother who as a girl used to come to my shiurim in the UK. She had lost a little child in tragic circumstances and together with her heartbroken husband and family was sitting shiva. The words I planned to say were nothing compared to the ones I heard. They were words of bitochon and deveikus to Hashem, even at a time when some might have felt that their

relationship with Hashem was fractured beyond repair. Both the mother and father spent the whole conversation telling me how difficult it must have been for me to make that call and how much they appreciated that I had done so. The visit was to another family whose child had coincidentally suffered an identical catastrophic accident as the first. The second child had somehow survived, but now needs constant medical care and attention. The parents, who are good friends of ours, have transformed their home into a hospital while sharing the role of nurse and caregiver equally between them. If their lives were busy in chinuch and rabbanus before the accident, they now had become doubly and triply demanding. Somehow they haven’t diminished their commitments to their kehilla and talmidim in any way that I can detect and they still manage to organize and give their little boy the demanding medical care he requires. They too carry the scars of trauma and pain most of us would not even want to think about. But neither the scars nor the pain have loosened their attachment or love of Hashem. As we sat talking, you could almost imagine they were unaware of what a dramatic turn their world had taken. Both recounted recent advances in their efforts to spread Torah as well as the little signs of improvement they saw in their child. In the hour I spent with them, their home resembled Times Square as the doorbell and phone rang again and again and a constant stream of people arrived for advice, help or just popped by. Both parents told me of their gratitude to Hashem for everything He had given them. I had approached both the shiva call and the visit with apprehension and worry. Finding the right words can help; the right words can heal. The wrong words can take pain that is already almost unbearable and make it even worse. Instead, as so often happens on such occasions, I found myself receiving chizuk instead of giving it.


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

Where

do Jews (as they so often do), get such strength at painful times like these, and why do such times bring them so close to Hashem? It may be that strength comes from their parents and grandparents. It may be that it comes from their teachers and rebbes. Ultimately, though, it comes from Hashem Himself. It is He who inspires someone to hear words that help. It is ultimately Hashem who helps us start to put the pieces back together again so that the scars heal. Despite the fact the scars are visible, they somehow make the people who carry them more precious and more beautiful for doing so. If a process of recovery and renewed connection to Hashem can occur in people who have suffered such pain, it can certainly happen for those of us who are in pain because of bad choices we made during the last year. Those choices cause us to hear a voice inside our heads, which says,

“Not only have you have let me and your teachers down, you have let all your friends down, and of course you have let yourself down too!” That voice tells you that the damage you have inflicted is beyond repair. It is essential to ignore that voice. It is lying to you. Reb Shlomo Wolbe zt”l in Aleh Shor cites the Talmud Kiddushin 30b,

writes Rav Wolbe, “no matter how much damage a Jewish soul has suffered or inflicted on itself.” The treatment of putting the pieces back together can start even when Jews find themselves on the forty-ninth level of tumah, as we did in Mitzrayim. The Talmud is full of stories of some of the greatest Jews of all time, Rabbi Akiva, Resh Lokesh, Reb

Despite the fact the scars are visible, they somehow make the people who carry them more precious and more beautiful for doing so. which says how the Torah provides the remedy and repair when we have let ourselves down and fractured our relationship with Hashem. “I created the yetzer hara, I created the Torah as the antidote.” “That cure applies at every level,”

Elozor Ben Durdoi and others. All of them were once broken with a shattered connection to Hashem. When they started to remedy the fact that they had let Hashem, their teachers, their friends and, of course, themselves down ... they started to shine

and inspire others. As Reb Sholomo Wolbe writes, and certainly the two families I spoke to last week showed, we can put our Jewish lives back together again, even when they are profoundly shattered either by tragedy or by our own tragic choices. If we try, Hashem will help us. Just ask Dovid HaMelech, Tehillim 147:3, “Hashem cures the brokenhearted.” When we start to reattach ourselves, the astonishing thing is that an ordinary Jew, perhaps someone others would not consider special in any way, suddenly becomes special precisely because he or she was broken and is now repaired. Those who suffer major damage and overcome it turn themselves into particularly precious works of art. In fact, the more Jews repair their flaws, and consequently the more golden lines are visible, the more beautiful and precious those Jews become. No Jew should feel embarrassed on Rosh HaShana to appear before Hashem knowing He sees the evidence of the damage we have suffered or inflicted on ourselves or others during the year. If we have used Elul to fix and repair the damage, we have turned ourselves into works of art and the damage is turned to gold. 

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Despite the severity and depth of their wounds, both families believed with emunah sheleimah and without complaint that these events came solely from Hashem. They were in real pain, but they shone like pure gold.

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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Don Fernando Aguilar’s Amazing Shofar BY YvETTE ALT MILLER

On

August 2, 1492, a young sailor named Christopher Columbus departed Spain. As his ships sailed out of Seville’s harbor, he noted something curious: thousands of men, women and children were desperately cramming into boats and ships. That day was the final deadline for all Jews to leave the Spanish kingdom. King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella had recently conquered all of Spain and sought to make their new kingdom an entirely Christian nation. No Jews could remain. In desperation, thousands fled, taking only those possessions they could carry. Within days, the Jewish community of Spain, which had flourished for hundreds of years, was no more. Synagogues were shuttered. Jewish schools were closed. The abandoned houses of the fleeing Jews were taken over by their non-Jewish neighbors. In the weeks and months that followed the expulsion of Jews from Spain, Jewish life seemed completely dead. Not all of Spain’s Jews had fled when the fateful edict was pronounced. It was possible to remain in Spain but the conditions for doing so were dire: any Jew who hoped to remain in his home had to publicly embrace Christianity and renounce all Jewish observance. Many Jews lived ostensibly Christian lives in public, but held on to Jewish observance in secret. On Friday nights, these secret Jews would shutter their windows so neighbors wouldn’t see them light their Shabbos candles. Jewish housewives would bake their weekly challah loaves in hiding; their husbands would whisper the words of the Shabbos kiddush. These clandestine Jews knew their very lives were at stake, should a neighbor overhear their murmured Hebrew prayers or a passerby spy them enjoying a holiday meal. The Spanish Inquisition had begun years before, when a secret Passover Seder was reported taking place among secret Jews: any Jew suspected of clinging to his or her religion would be tortured into confessing, then burned at the stake. Thousands of Spanish Jews had already died in public executions this way. Public burnings of Jews became so frequent they even had a name, auto de fe, and attending these frequent spectacles became a popular national pastime. Even though they had ostensibly embraced Christianity, the secret Jews of Spain were never trusted; neighbors and priests realized they continued to practice Judaism and were always alert to any display of Jewish ritual. Spaniards called these Jews “Marranos,” a disparaging term that means “pigs,” and many eagerly looked for any sign of Jewish practice to turn them over to the Inquisition.

The Conductor in Barcelona

Yet in the city of Barcelona, a large group of secret Jews clung to their ancient traditions. It’s impossible for us to know today exactly how many of Barcelona’s Jews continued following their religion, but we do know from the following story, passed down from gener-

Kippur, was impossible. Doing so would lead to immediate arrest, torture, and death.

The Shofar Symphony

ation to generation, that

it was a sizeable number. Don Fernando Aguilar was a prominent Barcelona Jew. Conductor of the prestigious Royal Orchestra in that city, he was a man of distinction and enjoyed great wealth and prestige. When the edict banishing him and his coreligionists from Spain came, Don Aguilar decided to remain. He publicly embraced Christianity, but at the same time made a daring decision: in private, Don Aguilar, like so many Spanish Jews, would never renounce his faith. Even though it meant he could be arrested at any moment, Don Aguilar continued to live as a Jew.

Then, in the middle of the concert, a musician with the orchestra who was rumored by many to be a secret Jew took the stage. He was holding an unusual instrument: a ram’s horn. When he came home each night, he kissed a mezuzah that he kept hidden in his floorboards. He was careful to eat only kosher food and observe the Jewish holidays. As the years went by, it became harder and harder to keep up his Jewish practice, but Don Aguilar – like the rest of Barcelona’s Jews – did as much as he could. There was no synagogue in his city anymore, but groups of Jews would meet in private, under pain of death, to whisper prayers. There were no Jewish schools in Spain any longer, but families did their best to give their children a Jewish education. Year after grinding year, the secret Jewish community continued, holding on to as many of the mitzvot as possible. Some rituals, however, were nearly impossible to observe. One was listening to the shofar. Each Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, the secret Jews of Barcelona and elsewhere would gather to pray. On Rosh Hashana they would eat a furtive festive meal together. On Yom Kippur, they would go about their business in public, never letting on that they were fasting. But blowing a shofar out loud, let alone for the 100 blasts prescribed for each day of Rosh Hashana and Yom

Five long years after the expulsion of Spain’s Jews, five years of practicing their religion in secret, of living a double life, Don Aguilar saw an opportunity. In 1497, he made a public announcement: on Sunday, the 5th of September, he would personally lead the Royal Orchestra of Barcelona in a brand-new concert of his own composition. The piece he’d written was unlike anything ever heard in Spain before. It was, he declared, to be a celebration of native peoples and their cultures. Every instrument ever invented around the world, no matter how far away, would be represented. On the eve of the concert, the orchestra hall was filled. Some in the audience noticed that Don Aguilar was not wearing the gold cross he usually sported, but there was so much excitement about his unusual orchestral work, nobody paid much attention to this difference in his dress. Many of those in attendance were Marranos but the fact that so many of these people came to the concert apparently didn’t arouse anyone’s suspicions. As the curtains parted, the concert began as planned. Don Aguilar’s music was interesting. True to his word, the audience heard from a wide range of instruments. There were bells and horns, stringed instruments and an array of different drums. Then, in the middle of the concert, a musician with the orchestra who was rumored by many to be a secret Jew took the stage. He was holding an unusual instrument: a ram’s horn. The musician put it to his lips, and began to blow. Tekiah, shevarim, teruah. Each note of the Rosh Hashana shofar service rang out throughout the hall, one hundred notes in all. Most of the audience appreciated it as a virtuoso performance of an unfamiliar instrument. But to the secret Jews in the audience, Don Aguilar’s “music” gave them their first chance in years to hear fulfill the mitzvah of hearing the Shofar. September 5, 1497 was the first of Tishrei, 5258 – the night of Rosh Hashana. Little is known of Don Aguilar. Some say he was arrested soon after the concert and executed in secret, so that news of his exploits would not become public. Others maintain he lived to an old age, continuing to live a Jewish life. All that is known is his amazing actions on Rosh Hashana, over 500 years ago, when for one evening he allowed an entire secret Jewish community to fulfill the mitzvah of hearing the shofar. Primary source: Rabbi Eliyahu Ki-Tov, The Book of Our Heritage, and Rabbi Stewart Weiss’ article in the Jerusalem Post. Note: No written documentation of this event exists; the name of Don Fernando Aguilar and the legend of his actions in September 1497 have been passed down through the centuries verbally. While it is impossible for us to verify the details of these events, generations of Jews have maintained that this amazing Rosh Hashana “concert” took place. Reprinted with permission from Aish.com. 

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Eating Healthy During the Chagim Naomi Cohn

We’ve all heard it time and time again. Eating every 2-3 hours is the key to maintaining healthy weight. After all, this is what we are designed to do- babies eat every two to three hours don’t they? But as we grow up, our schedules simply don’t allow us the luxury of fueling our bodies properly. And if we did have the time in our day to stop and fuel our bodies, what kind of foods would we need to eat to maximize the benefits of eating right? Human bodies were designed to store food. And we are extremely efficient in doing so. Thousands of years ago, there were no grocery stores or refrigerators to keep stocked with fresh fruits, vegetables and milk. There were certainly no-drive thru windows or packaged shelf stable foods that we could grab and eat on the go. There were animals and bushes. When we passed a berry bush, we ate from it. When an animal or fish was available to eat, we cooked it and ate it. No leftovers- for there was no where to keep them. Not knowing when our next meal would be available, our bodies would use the calories that we needed for the day and store the rest in reserves. Our bodies are designed to be efficient fueling machines. And efficiency is achieved by storing fat reserves. Fast forward to modern day society. A grocery at every major intersection, restaurants that deliver food, prepared and pre-packaged foods so basic that we need not expend any energy at all to even make the foods that we eat. That’s a far cry from walking everywhere, carrying home our food and fueling before we head back out to tend to our fields. When we add in the massive profitable food industry that is dedicated to keeping our pantries well stocked- we contend with another reality- preservatives, artificial sweeteners, artificial colorings, and a plethora of highly addictive substances that our bodies have no idea how to process. And so we are overweight. We are tired and sluggish. We need coffee to keep us going and we are taking blood sugar lowering drugs at unprecedent-

ed levels to keep us “healthy”. But everyone is making lots of money- the food companies by making us overweight and unhealthy, and the drug companies that develop medications to treat our food induced ailments. A win-win for them, but a major loselose for our bodies and our families. So what can we do about the reality that has become the norm? As a society, we spend millions on nutrition education each year. Registered dietitians and nutritionists provide invaluable resources and education, meal plans and healthy eating guidelines that serve to reduce the alarmingly high incidences of obesity and type 2 diabetes. So why aren’t we all trim and fit and eating properly? There are two barriers to healthy living. First, the logistical hurdles of cooking properly, fueling ourselves every 2-3 hours, and buying the right foods when faced with hundreds of non-healthy choices at every turn. And much more difficult to overcome is the second, psychological barrier. Each of us turn to foods for different reasons. For some it’s social and for others its stress or other emotional reasons. Remember when you were young? If you scraped your knee, your mom gave you a cookie. Or perhaps an ice cream. If you had a rough day, you may have sat and talked it out with a good friend over a bite to eat. It’s not our faults that we link food with comfort. We have been conditioned since youth to soothe ourselves by treating ourselves. And more likely than not, the treat is edible. But as humans we are gifted with the most powerful tools to re-train ourselves. With the right support, we can replace bad habits with good ones and ultimately find ourselves living and modeling a healthy lifestyle. According to physicians Michael L. Dansinger, MD, MS Ernst J. Schaefer, MD in the American Journal of Medicine, “Many have accepted the belief that living in today’s society is incompatible with what is required to apply lifestyle changes, or even worse—that they barely work. Inadequate lifestyle counseling by physicians might contribute to this perception. However,

most able-bodied persons who can find a way to overcome the monumental logistical and psychological barriers that prevent the full application of lifestyle change can reverse obesity within months. It seems simplistic, but a potential solution for the obesity crisis depends directly on finding a means of properly dosing lifestyle change recommendations. The medical profession and society in general have under-dosed this potent cure by a long shot. “ With the food intense holidays coming right around the corner, it might seem a daunting task to incorporate some healthy into our Rosh Hashanah and Sukkot meals. Surely nobody starts their “diet” until after Simchat Torah! I’m looking forward to sharing some great recipes for sneaking in some healthy accompanying dishes to some of our holiday favorites. Here’s the first:

Whole Wheat Honey Challahfor a “sweet” New Year Partially adopted from Allrecipes. com 3 c WW flour 1 c bread flour 1 tsp salt 2 and ¼ tsp active dry yeast 2 Tbs vital wheat gluten (optional) ¼ c sugar ¼ c honey ½ c olive oil 1 c warm water 2 eggs ¼ c raisins (optional) In a large bowl, stir together the

flour, salt, yeast, and vital wheat gluten until well mixed. In another bowl, stir together the honey, olive oil, water, eggs, and raisins. Pour the liquid mixture into the flour mixture, and stir until it forms a dough. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface, and knead until smooth, about 10 minutes. Form the dough into a round shape. Lightly oil a bowl, place the dough in the bowl, and turn the dough over a few times to oil the surface. Cover the bowl with a cloth, and let rise in a warm, draft-free place until doubled, about 1 hour. Punch down the dough, knead it a few times to remove some of the bubbles, and cut it into 2 equal-sized pieces. Set 1 piece of dough aside under a cloth to prevent drying out while you shape or braid the first loaf as desired. Working on a floured surface, roll the small dough pieces into ropes about the thickness of your thumb and about 12 inches long. Ropes should be fatter in the middle and thinner at the ends. Pinch 3 ropes together at the top and braid them. Starting with the strand to the right, move it to the left over the middle. Take the strand farthest to the left, and move it over the new middle strand. Continue braiding, alternating sides each time, until the loaf is braided, and pinch the ends together and fold them underneath for a neat look. Repeat for the other loaf, place the braided loaves on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Bake in the preheated oven until golden brown, about 30 minutes. Serve warm for best flavor. Naomi is a wellness educator and certified by The MacDonald Center for Obesity Prevention and Education (C.O.P.E) through Villa Nova School of Nursing. Her interest in advocating for peoples’ interests started as a career in Human Resources in 1999 and evolved over the past 17 years into a passion for health and wellness. She’s lived in Boca Raton with her husband and children since 2009.

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Nitzavim: Defeating Death Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks Only now, reaching Nitzavim-Vayelech, can we begin to get a sense of the vast, world- changing project at the heart of the Divine-human encounter that took place in the lifetime of Moses and the birth of Jews/Hebrews/Israel as a nation. To understand it, recall the famous remark of Sherlock Holmes. “I draw your attention,” he said to Dr. Watson, “to the curious incident of the dog at night.” “But the dog did nothing at night,” said Watson. “That,” said Holmes, “is the curious incident.” Sometimes to know what a book is about you need to focus on what it does not say, not just on what it does. What is missing from the Torah, almost inexplicably so given the background against which it is set, is a fixation with death. The ancient Egyptians were obsessed with death. Their monumental buildings were an attempt to defy death. The pyramids were giant mausoleums. More precisely, they were portals through which the soul of a deceased pharaoh could ascend to heaven and join the immortals. The most famous Egyptian text that has come down to us is The Book of the Dead. Only the afterlife is real: life is a preparation for death. There is nothing of this in the Torah, at least not explicitly. Jews believed in olam haba, the world to come, life after death. They believed in techiyat hametim, the resurrection of the dead. There are six references to it in the second paragraph of the Amidah alone. But not only are these ideas almost completely absent from Tanakh. They are absent at the very points where we would expect them. The book of Kohelet/Ecclesiastes is an extended lament at human mortality. Havel havalim hakol havel: Everything is worthless because life is a mere fleeting breath. Why did the author of Ecclesiastes not mention the world to come and lifeafter-death? The book of Job is a sustained protest against the apparent injustice of the world. Why did no one answer Job: “You and other innocent people who suffer will be rewarded in the afterlife”? We believe in the afterlife. Why then is it not mentioned - merely hinted at - in the Torah? That is the curious incident. The simple answer is that obsession with death ultimately devalues life. Why

fight against the evils and injustices of the world if this life is only a preparation for the world to come? Ernest Becker in his classic The Denial of Death argues that fear of our own mortality has been one of the driving forces of civilization. It is what led the ancient world to enslave the masses, turning them into giant labour forces to build monumental buildings that would stand as long as time itself. It led to the ancient cult of the hero, the man who becomes immortal by doing daring deeds on the field of battle. We fear death; we have a love-hate relationship with it. Freud called this thanatos, the death instinct, and said it was one of the two driving forces of life, the other being eros. Judaism is a sustained protest against this world-view. That is why “No one knows where Moses is buried” so that his tomb should never become a place of pilgrimage and worship. That is why in place of a pyramid or a temple such as Ramses II built at Abu Simbel, all the Israelites had for almost five centuries until the days of Solomon was the mishkan, a portable sanctuary, more like a tent than a temple. That is why, in Judaism, death defiles and why the rite of the Red Heifer was necessary to purify people from contact with it. That is why the holier you are - if you are a Cohen, more so if you are the High Priest - the less you can be in contact or under the same roof as a dead person. God is not in death but in life. Only against this Egyptian background can we fully sense the drama behind words that have become so familiar to us that we are no longer surprised by them, the great words in which Moses frames the choice for all time: See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil ... I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that you and your children may live. Life is good, death is bad. Life is a blessing, death is a curse. These are truisms for us. Why even mention them? Because they were not common ideas in the ancient world. They were revolutionary. They still are. How then do you defeat death? Yes

there is an afterlife. Yes there is techiyat hametim, resurrection. But Moses does not focus on these obvious ideas. He tells us something different altogether. You achieve immortality by being part of a covenant - a covenant with eternity itself, that is to say, a covenant with God. When you live your life within a covenant something extraordinary happens. Your parents and grandparents live on in you. You live on in your children and grandchildren. They are part of your life. You are part of theirs. That is what Moses meant when he said, near the beginning of this week’s parsha: It is not with you alone that I am making this covenant and oath, but with whoever stands with us here today before the LORD our God as well as those not with us here today. In Moses’ day that last phrase meant “your children not yet born.” He did not need to include “your parents, no longer alive” because their parents had themselves made a covenant with God forty years before at Mount Sinai. But what Moses meant in a larger sense is that when we renew the covenant, when we dedicate our lives to the faith and way of life of our ancestors, they become immortal in us, as we become immortal in our children. It is precisely because Judaism focuses on this world, not the next, that it is the most child-centered of all the great religions. They are our immortality. That is what Rachel meant when she said, “Give me children, or else I am like one dead.” It is what Abraham meant when he said, “Lord, God, what will you give me if I remain childless?” We are not all destined to have children. The rabbis said that the good we do constitutes our toledot, our posterity. But by honouring the memory of our parents and bringing up children to continue the Jewish story we achieve the one form of immortality that lies this side of the grave, in this world that God pronounced good. Now consider the two last commands in the Torah, set out in parshat Vayelech, the ones Moses gave at the very end of his life. One is hakhel, the command that the king summon the nation to an assembly every seven years: At the end of every seven years ... Assemble the people - men, women and children, and the stranger living in your towns - so that they can listen and learn to fear the Lord your God and follow carefully all the words of this law. The meaning of this command is simple. Moses is saying: It is not enough that your parents made a covenant with God at Mount Sinai or that you yourselves renewed it with me here on the plains of Moab. The covenant must be perpetually renewed, every seven years, so that it never becomes history. It always remains memory. It never becomes old because every seven years it becomes new again. And the last command? “Now write down this song and teach it to the Israelites and make them sing it, so that it may be a witness for me against them.” This, according to tradition, is the command to write [at least part of] a Sefer Torah. As Maimonides puts it: “Even if your ances-

tors have left you a Sefer Torah, nonetheless you are commanded to write one for yourself.” What is Moses saying in this, his last charge to the people he had led for forty years, was: It is not sufficient to say, our ancestors received the Torah from Moses, or from God. You have to take it and make it new in every generation. You must make the Torah not just your parents’ or grandparents’ faith but your own. If you write it, it will write you. The eternal word of the eternal God is your share in eternity. We now sense the full force of the drama of these last days of Moses’ life. Moses knew he was about to die, knew he would not cross the Jordan and enter the land he had spent his entire life leading the people toward. Moses, confronting his own mortality, asks us in every generation to confront ours. Our faith - Moses is telling us - is not like that of the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans, or virtually every other civilization known to history. We do not find God in a realm beyond life - in heaven, or after death, in mystic disengagement from the world or in philosophical contemplation. We find God in life. We find God in (the key words of Devarim) love and joy. To find God, he says in this week’s parsha, you don’t have to climb to heaven or cross the sea. God is here. God is now. God is life. And that life, though it will end one day, in truth does not end. For if you keep the covenant, then your ancestors will live in you, and you will live on in your children (or your disciples or the recipients of your kindness). Every seven years the covenant will become new again. Every generation will write its own Sefer Torah. The gate to eternity is not death: it is life lived in a covenant endlessly renewed, in words engraved on our hearts and the hearts of our children. And so Moses, the greatest leader we ever had, became immortal. Not by living forever. Not by building a tomb and temple to his glory. We don’t even know where he is buried. The only physical structure he left us was portable because life itself is a journey. He didn’t even become immortal the way Aaron did, by seeing his children become his successors. He became immortal by making us his disciples. And in one of their first recorded utterances, the rabbis said likewise: Raise up many disciples. To be a leader, you don’t need a crown or robes of office. All you need to do is to write your chapter in the story, do deeds that heal some of the pain of this world, and act so that others become a little better for having known you. Live so that through you our ancient covenant with God is renewed in the only way that matters: in life. Moses’ last testament to us at the very end of his days, when his mind might so easily have turned to death, was: Choose life. Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks served as Britain’s chief rabbi from 1991 to 2013. He was recently named as the 2016 Templeton Prize Laureate. His latest book is Not in God’s Name: Confronting Religious Violence.


The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016

TORAH EN ESPANOL

Preparación Para Rosh HaShaná Rabbi Moshe Lazerus

Un componente clave en la preparación para Rosh HaShaná es pedir disculpas a toda persona a quien le pudiésemos haber hecho un mal durante el año anterior. En lo posible, queremos comenzar el año con una “pizarra limpia”, sin que nadie nos guarde rencor. También debemos ser rápidos en perdonar a aquellos que nos han hecho algún mal. Mucha gente tiene la costumbre de ir a la mikve antes de Rosh HaShaná después del mediodía. La mikve, que tiene el poder de purificar ciertos tipos de impurezas espirituales, puede ser una parte importante del proceso de teshuvá (‘retorno a Dios’). Otros tienen la costumbre de visitar algún cementerio en la mañana previa a Rosh HaShaná y rezar en las tumbas de los justos. Por supuesto, no le rezamos a los justos, sino que sólo a Dios, que oye nuestros rezos en mérito de los justos. En la mañana antes de Rosh HaShaná, realizamos hatarat nedarim, la ‘anulación de promesas’. En términos halájicos, decir algo tan simple como “Me niego a volver a comer dulces” puede ser considerado una promesa con valor legal a los ojos de la ley judía. Es por eso que, antes de Rosh HaShaná, anulamos nuestras promesas, tanto si fueron realizadas intencionalmente o no. Esto se realiza de pie frente a tres hombres adultos. Ante ellos solicitamos anular las promesas que realizamos. El texto completo puede ser encontrado en un Sidur o en un Majzor (libro de rezos) de Rosh HaShaná. Durante las Altas Fiestas, se utiliza una jalá redonda —simbolizando plenitud y la finalización de un ciclo—. Después de recitar la bendiciónhamotzí, es costumbre untar el pan en miel, simbolizando nuestro anhelo por un año nuevo dulce Luego, después de comer un trozo de pan, tomamos una manzana y la untamos en miel. Recitamos la bendición boré pri haetz sobre la manzana (ya que la bendición de hamotzí no cubre la manzana) y comemos un pedacito de manzana. Luego decimos, “Que sea tu voluntad, Dios, que tengamos un año nuevo bueno y dulce”. ¿Por qué pedimos por un año «bueno» y «dulce»? ¿Acaso la palabra «bueno» no incluye automáticamente «dulce»? El judaísmo nos enseña que todo lo que sucede es para bien. Todo es parte de la voluntad divina. Incluso las cosas que pueden parecer “malas” a nuestros ojos,

son en realidad “buenas”. Por eso cuando pedimos a Dios que el año sea “dulce” (además de bueno), es porque sabemos que todo será para bien. Pero también pedimos que sea un bien “revelado”, es decir, que tenga un sabor “dulce” para nosotros. En Rosh HaShaná, agregamos el párrafo yaalé veyavó en la bendición de agradecimiento después de la cena (birkat hamazón). En Rosh HaShaná comemos alimentos que simbolizan cosas buenas que anhelamos para el siguiente año. Contemplamos lo que estas comidas simbolizan, y nos conectamos con la ‘Fuente’ de todo lo bueno. Las comidas simbólicas están basadas en un juego de palabras que conecta el nombre de ciertas comidas con una esperanza en particular que tenemos para el nuevo año. Aquí veremos una lista del Talmud de comidas simbólicas que se acostumbra a comer en Rosh HaShaná. (La comida y su significado asociado están escritos en letras mayúsculas). Después de comer PUERRO o COL, decimos: “Sea Tu voluntad, Dios, que nuestros enemigos sean DIEZMADOS” Después de comer REMOLACHA, decimos: “Sea Tu voluntad, Dios, que nuestros adversarios sean ELIMINADOS”. Después de comer DÁTILES, decimos: “Sea Tu voluntad, Dios, que nuestros enemigos sean DESTRUIDOS”. Después de comer CALABAZA, decimos: “Sea Tu voluntad, Dios, que el decreto de nuestra sentencia sea ROTO, y que nuestros méritos sean PROCLAMADOS ante Ti”. Después de comer GRANADA, decimos: “Sea Tu voluntad, Dios, que nuestros méritos aumenten como las semillas de la GRANADA”. Después de comer la CABEZA de un cordero o pescado, decimos: “Sea Tu voluntad, Dios, que seamos como CABEZA y no como cola”. Como en Rosh HaShaná hay tantos rezos específicos, utilizamos un libro especial de rezos llamado “Majzor”. En la Amidá y en el Kidush de Rosh HaShaná, decimos la frase “Iom Teruá”. Sin embargo, si Rosh HaShaná cae en Shabat, decimos”Zijrón Teruá”. (Si una persona dice inadvertidamente la frase equivocada, no necesita repetir el rezo). La súplica  “Avinu Malkeinu”  debe decirse en Rosh HaShaná, excepto cuando Rosh HaShaná coincide con Shabat, ya que la halajá es que en Shabat no se dicen

súplicas. Si Rosh HaShaná cae en viernes, no se dice «Avinu Malkeinu» en el rezo de Minjá. Durante las Altas Fiestas, la cortina del Arón Hakódesh se cambia por una blanca, para simbolizar que “nuestros errores serán blanqueados como la nieve”. El jazán, ‘cantor’, para las Altas Fiestas no debe ser elegido por su talento vocal solamente. Idealmente, el jazán debe tener más de 30 años, ser temeroso de Dios, erudito en Torá, humilde y de preferencia casado. Un hombre erudito menor de 30 con otras condiciones es aceptable. Sin embargo, es preferible permitir que un jazáninadecuado guíe el servicio, antes que causar conflicto sobre el tema en la comunidad. Como existe la pregunta de si la bendición de  shehejianu  debe ser recitada en el segundo día de Rosh HaShaná, acostumbramos comer una fruta nueva o utilizar una nueva prenda de vestir y recitarshehejianu  sobre ella. Cuando decimos shehejianu, debemos tener en mente también las mitzvot de encendido de velas, Kidush y escuchar el shofar. La mitzvá principal de Rosh HaShaná es escuchar el sonido del shofar. El shofar utilizado en Rosh HaShaná debe ser un cuerno curvo de carnero, más largo que 10 cm. Está permitido utilizar un shofar hecho de un animal que no fue sacrificado ritualmente. La obligación mínima es escuchar nueve sonidos. Sin embargo, hay duda si el sonido del shofar debe ser del tipo que suena como un gemido (shevarim), o como un sollozo (teruá), o una combinación (shevarim-teruá). Por ende, se llevan a cabo los tres sonidos, cada uno precedido y seguido de un sonido continuo, tekiá. Tres de cada serie da como resultado 30 sonidos en total, los que son necesarios para quitar todas las dudas de que el precepto de la Torá ha sido cumplido. El shofar es como una ‘alarma espiritual’ que nos despierta de nuestro letargo. El shofar debe ser tocado durante el día. Todos deben ponerse de pie para escuchar el shofar y deben tener la intención de cumplir con la mitzvá de escuchar el shofar. Antes de tocar, se recitan dos bendiciones: “Que nos ordenaste escuchar el sonido del shofar” y “shehejianu”. Una vez que las bendiciones se han recitado, no debemos hablar sino hasta que se haya terminado de tocar el shofar. Las mujeres pueden tocar el shofar para sí mismas y recitar la bendición (las mujeres sefaradiot no recitan la bendición). Un niño que tiene edad suficiente para ser educado en mitzvot debe escuchar el shofar. El shofar no se toca cuando Rosh HaShaná cae en Shabat. Durante la repetición del jazan, tocamos 30 veces adicionales en las variadas combinaciones. Se acostumbra a tocar 40 sonidos extra al final del servicio, llegando a un total de 100. Se acostumbra a prolongar el sonido final, el cual es llamado Tekiá Guedolá. Se acostumbra a saludar a los demás de la siguiente manera:”Leshaná tová,

ketivá vejatimá tová”. Esto significa: «Para un buen año, que seas inscrito y sellado para bien [en el libro de la vida]». Uno debe tratar de no dormir o hacer caminatas ociosas en el día de Rosh HaShaná. (El Arizal dice que una siesta en la tarde es permisible). Se recomienda evitar las relaciones maritales, excepto si Rosh HaShaná cae en la noche en la cual la mujer debe sumergirse en la Mikve para purificarse después de su ciclo menstrual. Si un Brit Milá cae en Rosh HaShaná, debe ser realizado entre la lectura de la Torá y el toque del shofar. El rezo de tashlij se dice en la primera tarde de Rosh HaShaná frente a un río o a una pileta de agua que preferentemente tenga peces. Este rezo simboliza que arrojamos al agua nuestros errores. Por supuesto, es tonto pensar que podemos deshacernos de nuestros pecados simplemente al vaciar nuestros bolsillos. Más bien, el enfoque judío consiste en una profunda introspección y un compromiso a cambiar. De hecho, la idea de tashlij es en parte para conmemorar el Midrash que relata que Abraham atravesó un canal de agua para ir a realizar la Akedá (Sacrificio de Itzjak). El Midrash explica que Abraham tuvo que pasar a través de aguas que le llegaban hasta el cuello.Si Rosh HaShaná cae en Shabat, el rezo de tashlij se pospone para el segundo día. Si no se recitó tashlij en Rosh HaShaná mismo, puede recitarse en cualquier momento durante los ‘Diez días de arrepentimiento’. Tanto la fuente de agua como los peces son símbolos. En la literatura talmúdica la Torá es representada como agua. ¡Tal como los peces no pueden vivir sin agua, de la misma manera, un judío no puede vivir sin Torá! También, el hecho de que los peces nunca cierran sus ojos, sirve de recordatorio que, así también, los ojos de Dios (por así decir) nunca están cerrados; Él conoce cada uno de nuestros movimientos. Este es el texto de tashlij: ¿Quién es como Tú, Dios, que elimina la iniquidad y pasa por alto las trasgresiones del resto de Su heredad? Dios no permanece enojado por siempre, porque desea la bondad. Él será misericordioso con nosotros nuevamente, eliminará nuestras iniquidades, y arrojará a las profundidades del mar todos nuestros pecados. Concede la verdad a Iaakov, la bondad a Abraham así como juraste a nuestros antepasados. De los estrechos yo llamo a Dios, Dios me responde ampliamente. Dios está conmigo, no tendré miedo ¿qué puede hacerme el hombre? Dios está conmigo para ayudarme, y veré a mis enemigos (aniquilados). Es mejor refugiarse en Dios que confiar en el hombre. Es mejor refugiarse en Dios, que depender de los nobles. Muchas personas leen también los Salmos 33 y 130.

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Chayal El Chayal A Lone Soldier’s Home Away From Home By Tammy Mark

3,000 mishloach manot packed and distributed for Purim

After

weeks of intense military training and service, every soldier looks forward to an off weekend when they can take a brief leave from their army base. Physically and often mentally exhausted, they take their busses back to their homes, oftentimes collapsing with fatigue into their own comfortable beds, grateful for a warm house and a home-cooked meal. What about the lone soldiers? These are the brave volunteers who come from around the world to serve in the Israel Defense Forces, risking their own lives to protect the lives of the Jewish nation. Though they join the IDF with an independent spirit and an overwhelming amount of dedication and determination, they too need care and comfort in order to be their best, and many lone soldiers can find themselves

without a place to go for Shabbat. Chayal el Chayal is the home away from home for these young men and women. The organization’s Lone Soldiers Home hosts hundreds of lone soldiers every month, providing gourmet, home-cooked meals and a welcomed break from the army. With traditional delicacies and a warm atmosphere, Shabbat meals are typically attended by 100 soldiers every week, with as many as 25 to 30 staying over in the dorm-style accommodations, and many more soldiers joining for the high holidays. Chayal el Chayal is centrally located in the Jerusalem neighborhood of Nachlaot. Chayal el Chayal not only provides a physical respite for the soldiers, but the team at Chayal el Chayal is committed to addressing the other physical, spiritual and

emotional aspects of their daily lives. Services range from the utilitarian, such as lodging and laundry, to comfort and care such as an extra blanket in the winter, or a cold water bottle on a hot day. There are barbecues, trips, social events and activities; all intended to benefit the overall well-being of the soldiers and are infused with spirituality whenever possible. With 15% of lone soldiers being female, Chayal el Chayal hosts a “girls’ night in” every other week. The Chayel el Chayel team also goes out to visit the soldiers on their bases for other holidays, bringing necessary supplies and cheer – menorahs for Chanukah, mishaloch manos for Purim, and matzah for Pesach. They organize special programs to get the soldiers to do mitzvot, both on and off base. One such program is called “Strapping Soldiers,” where

the male soldiers put on tefillin for 11 days and post pictures to spread the word to other soldiers – with a chance to win a flight home. Most importantly, Chayal el Chayal offers guidance and direction to the young adults as they are far away from their homes and families. One major project is preparing the various care packages, with 300 to 1,400 soldiers receiving them each holiday. Chayal el Chayal can depend on supporters to the send basic necessities for the soldiers, such as socks, deodorant and toothpaste. The soldiers really get to see and understand that there are people around the world who appreciate them for protecting the land. Chayal el Chayal also encourages school projects, both in Israel and around the world. Having children write letters to lone soldiers is another way for these heroes to feel the

warm embrace of the greater Jewish family.

What

h e l p s make Chayal el Chayal such a truly exceptional place is its founders, two former lone soldiers who understand the unique needs of the lone soldier. Chayal el Chayal – literally “Soldier to Soldier” – was established in 2011 by Mordechai (Mordy) Botnick from Ottawa, Canada, and his fellow soldier Ari Abramowitz from Monsey, NY. When Mordy Botnick traveled to Israel from Canada he had just $40 in his pocket. His grandmother had advised him to go there after he had gotten kicked out of school. After landing in Jerusalem, Mordy was fortunate to connect with a rabbi who allowed him to stay at his yeshiva while waiting to enter military service. Mordy enlisted in


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Torah dedication for our Lone Soldier Shul

the IDF, becoming a lone soldier at 18-years-old. One off weekend, with training over and a few months left to his service, he found himself without an invitation for a Shabbat meal. Rather than being alone, Mordy gathered some fellow lone soldiers and arranged to share the meal. At that time, Mordy was not fully shomer Shabbat. He had a mix of friends that would have dinner together on Shabbat and then go elsewhere after. Once Mordy was settled in an apartment he continued to organize his weekly meals. After a while, Mordy realized that he wanted to do more and be a good example for his friends; he decided to become religious again. Ari Abramowitz was studying in yeshiva in Israel during the 2007-2008 academic year. During his time there he witnessed rockets falling into the town of Sederot not far from where he was. That was the same year that eight Mercaz HaRav students were tragically murdered. Ari returned home and told his parents that he wanted to join the IDF. Though worried about his safety – and his Judaism – Ari’s father said he would

Receiving lulavim and etrogim for Sukkos

always have his back. Once he was back in Israel, Ari struggled to make it on his own. He didn’t want to ask his parents for money, and it was very difficult to work on a student visa. Yet at 20-years-old he was so very passionate and determined to serve that his new Israeli friends there thought he was crazy. He realized that they too felt like lone soldiers since they were on their own for the first time, whereas Ari had already been away for school and yeshiva. Ari was on a trip when he first met Tova and Noam Novik. The Novik family had emigrated from the U.S. to Israel, and after speaking with Ari they invited him to their house. The family eventually became a surrogate family to Ari, making sure he had a place to go at all times, and Ari would visit any chance he had. He was able to rest and do his laundry there, and they even included him in their family trips. The grandparents embraced him and the grandfather even stood under Ari’s chuppah. Mordy and Ari joined forces, and Chayal el Chayal was born. Through their collective experiences they

became attuned to the struggles that lone soldiers – and all soldiers – often face. At Chayal el Chayal, they are there to help soldiers at every stage of their journey, be it pre-, present, or former lone soldiers.

Pre-draft

soldiers often arrive in Israel needing a place to stay while looking for an apartment. Chayal el Chayal makes the transition easier, offering two weeks of free lodging, assistance in finding an apartment, and complete guidance along the way. During the soldiers’ IDF training and service, Ari and Mordy are there for support always, even attending the “tekes” military swearing in ceremonies for the lone soldiers. At times they have had to help these young adults navigate difficult situations in life, such as medical conditions or other personal issues that are not easy to deal with while in the army. Post-IDF, the soldiers have formed everlasting friendships through Chayal el Chayal that continue as they move on in life. 70% of the lone soldiers go back to their home country after

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Directors of Chayal el Chayal Mordy Botnick and Ari Abramowitz

service. Chayal el Chayal’s number one priority is the soldiers’ continued physical, spiritual, and mental wellbeing. They offer help in every way possible through their network of connections for schools, yeshivas, jobs and degrees. “My only goal is to see them all succeed in life,” says Ari. For parents of IDF lone soldiers, Mordy and Ari pride themselves on being available 24 hours a day to ensure that their child has everything they need to succeed. Avi David of Far Rockaway, NY, joined the IDF last summer, having previously attending Yeshiva Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway and Waterbury Yeshiva in Connecticut. Although he always knew that he wanted to join, he had no idea how to do it or where he would stay. “It was kind of unsettling for us,” recalls his mother, Ilana, of the day he announced his decision. The next day she decided to do some research online – she searched “lone soldier” and the Chayal el Chayal organization popped up. She called the U.S. number and Ari himself answered the phone. He gave the concerned mother

“We take care of them for who they are, not just what they are. We know that they’re soldiers, but they are also kids.”

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Girls’ night in event for female lone soldiers

Birthday party for a lone soldier

“He feels like there’s somebody there that cares about him.”

his cell number and assured her he would take care of her son. When Avi arrived in Israel, Chayal el Chayal provided him with a place to stay and helped him get everything in order. Avi was selected to serve in a very specialized unit and will be there for a total of three years, as opposed to the standard 18 months. He came in as an American that didn’t speak Hebrew, and is currently the only American in the unit and doing extremely well. Avi still returns to the Lone Soldier Home for Shabbat and for special events. The Davids visited Avi in Israel this past year and even joined in a Shabbat meal at the Lone Soldier Home. They observed firsthand the delicious home-cooked meals provided in the most welcoming atmosphere, where someone can drop by without a reservation. “It makes us as parents feel settled,” admits Ilana. “He feels like there’s somebody there that cares about him.”

The

number of lone soldiers is on the rise. The soldiers come from all over the Unit-

ed States as well as from Europe. Many are inspired to join the IDF after traveling to Israel on the Birthright program. From the U.S. there are about 1,000 lone soldiers per year coming from states such as Washington, Alabama and Kentucky – men and women, unaffiliated and affiliated. Ari says, though, that once they join the IDF, “they’re automatically affiliated.” Of the 6,300 lone soldiers serving in the IDF, 3,300 are actually from within Israel. Some of the young men come from Hareidi families who don’t support their decision to serve; some are orphans that have no other family to go to. Lone soldiers are coming to Israel from Russia, France, Brazil and Australia too – basically every metropolitan Jewish area – and the trend is increasing tremendously. In places like France and Russia it is the rise as anti-Semitism influences their decision to leave their homes. Many of the lone soldiers come from families that are connected to Israel, either having close relatives there or the ability to visit regularly; some are truly in the

Avi David from the Five Towns and his fellow lone soldiers receiving Rosh Hashana cards from children around the world

country alone. Additionally, Chayal el Chayal does not simply fill the void for those away from their own families, but also operates as a family for those who do not have a positive support system at home. Ari and Mordy have seen a lot since Chayal el Chayal opened. While most lone soldiers are simply motivated by a sense of duty, a strong Zionistic belief and love for the country, for some there’s also another reason – they are kids trying to find themselves. There are many troubled teens trying to improve their situation. Some were abused when they were younger; Ari has seen close to 30 such kids come through his doors. Ari explains that he deals with sensitive issues like these on an everyday basis, with young soldiers coming to him to speak to him, crying. Many of them were kids struggling at home and have unresolved issues that linger with them during their service. Some may have been kicked out of school or suffered the loss of a parent. Once they are in uniform, however, they might be even more reluctant to go for therapy or

even ask for help lest it be seen as a sign of weakness as a soldier. “We take care of them for who they are, not just what they are. We know that they’re soldiers, but they are also kids,” Ari explains. Chayal el Chayal is not funded by any organization or government agency and depends heavily on its supporters for help in their mission. The organization recently moved into a new larger facility, complete with a large dining hall, bedrooms, lounge, shul, office and more. They are hoping to furnish it soon, allowing them to eventually cater to the needs of thousands of lone soldiers during the year on an even larger scale. Though there are a number of organizations dedicated to helping this influx of valiant lone soldiers, Chayal el Chayal prioritizes the emotional and spiritual needs of the person. They operate not as an office but a home, a home where the doors are always open – both literally and figuratively. They make sure to get to know who they are before, during and after


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Aaron Kornbluth from the Five Towns at his graduation ceremony with his parents

their service. Ari also travels to the U.S. to help support the soldiers deal with any struggles that remain, hoping to reach out to all the former soldiers in every

Strapping soldiers tefillin campaign

major community. “There is nothing that I would turn someone away for. If I can’t help them, I will refer them,” says Ari. “We try to help each and ev-

Lone soldier lighting the menorah at Chayal el Chayal

ery one of our children.” On Monday, September 5, at 9:30 AM, an inspiring Labor Day breakfast in support of Chayal el Chayal,

Receiving winter gear

featuring former IDF lone soldiers and parents of lone soldiers, will be held at the home of Gila and Josh Jedwab at 356 Roselle Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY.

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

Chaim and I have gone out already for several months. Things have been moving along very nicely and progressing without a hitch. We’ve started having more serious conversations and Chaim felt it was important for me to meet his parents before we took any further steps.

Since you don’t know who I am, I can comfortably say this. I can’t stand Chaim’s mother! From the very first moment that I met her she made me feel enormously uncomfortable. She blatantly and without any shame looked me up and down, as though I was a piece of meat at a butcher! She started assaulting (that’s how it felt) me with dozens and dozens of questions, some very personal. She asked many personal questions about my parents and there was a judgmental edge to her reactions and responses. We sat in their living room for maybe half an hour. It was the longest, hardest half hour I ever remember experiencing. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Chaim is great. He is such a wonderful guy and has all the qualities I’m looking for. But now I’m feeling as though marrying into that family and winding up with a mother-in-law like his mother could be the end of me. I really don’t know what to do. I’ve started slowing things down with Chaim, but haven’t told him why. I don’t want to hurt his feelings and it’s not his fault that his mother is so aggressive and rude. My own mother thinks I should run for my life. (Apparently, she didn’t have the kindest mother-in-law either and knows what it’s like to be saddled with a harsh one.) I figured it can’t hurt to get all of your perspectives on this problem. Should I take my mother’s advice and run for the hills?

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration. Check out Soon By You’s Aftershow with the Navidaters on YouTube for a sit-down with coproducer Danny Hoffman.


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The Panel

The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

T

his is a tricky one. Your instincts are probably right but I think you and your mother should do your due diligence before you make a decision. Do your homework and ask around to see if she is truly a harsh and difficult person. You may have felt insecure under scrutiny because the nature of the meeting was about getting to know each other and you were in the hot seat. The onus was on Chaim’s mother to try to put you at ease. Clearly she didn’t do this and therefore the encounter felt very unpleasant. It could very well be that she had not done her due diligence regarding you and you may be from a different community than the one she is familiar with. You may be overreacting. Give her the benefit of the doubt as you clarify what she is all about and what happened exactly. If she is truly difficult and unpleasant, you should have gotten wind of this from Chaim during the months of dating and he should have prepared you a little. Something is off here; there is something wrong at one end or the other.

tions. Maybe she was uncomfortable. Maybe she’s nervous. Maybe she’s never done this before. Right away you’re assuming she’s your enemy – wow! If I were Chaim, I would run away from the girl who thinks like that about his mom. And if you really liked him, you would try again to meet up with her and see for yourself that maybe you’re looking at this through the wrong lens. Maybe you are the one who is assaulting her. In her eyes, you’re a stranger. How else is she supposed to know anything about you if she doesn’t ask? How can she know anything about your parents, if she doesn’t ask? I think it’s pretty sad that you are already thinking this way about her. You don’t even know her. And just because your mom wasn’t comfortable with her mother-in-law, doesn’t mean she has to reflect that back onto you. Your mom should be encouraging you to look at the positive and find out more. If you meet again and see the same pattern, at that point you can decide. But for now, I think you should change your tone. Put on a different pair of glasses. Go out with her, be friendly and move on from there. Good luck.

A Mother The Dating Mentor Rochel Chafetz, Educator/ Mentor

W

ow, you sound really angry, and personally, you sound to me to be just as judgmental as you think Chaim’s mother was to you. You write how she looked you up and down and assaulted you with questions. That’s some description. Hashem gave you two eyes. You have a choice how to use them. Step back and ask yourself if maybe she was curious about who her son is dating and was just asking ques-

Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, PA

F

ull disclosure: For all of you who believe there can never be an amicable shvigger-daughter-in-law (DIL) relationship, I am living proof that you can love your shvigger. Thanks Ma, for being the kindest, most generous, most easygoing shvigger. That said, getting along with your shvigger is a challenge for every new DIL (see Megillas Rus). Meddlesome mothers-in-law are among the top five reasons marriages break up. The good news regarding your predicament is that

you were exposed to her nastiness before joining the family. Talking to Chaim about Mommy Dearest may either 1) offend him (“My mother?”); 2) baffle him (“My mother?”); 3) or put him on the defensive (“Nothing to worry about. She really likes you but has a hard time showing it”). I wouldn’t take the chance. Listen to your mom on this one; run for the hills…or Australia…or South Africa. Ten thousand miles should make a comfortable distance.

Another Mother Miriam Stern

A

s someone who has experienced both ends of this scenario, I have compassion for both you and for Chaim’s mother. I can still remember back what it was like for me to meet my mother-inlaw for the first time. I was only 18-years-old, very immature and inexperienced. She appeared to me to be bigger than life and, frankly, kind of scary. I felt myself shaking as she tried to get to know me by asking questions about myself and my family. I was sure she hated me and that I made an awful impression. Luckily, my now-husband reassured me at the time that his mother was fond of me and that it went well. Through my young eyes, I had no idea. Ultimately, my mother-in-law and I became very close and best of friends. And we have looked back and laughed together over the first meeting and how nervous we both were. As the potential mother-in-law, I have sat more than once with perspective daughters-in-law, being the one asking the questions and trying to put the young woman at ease. I’m sure I did not necessarily succeed. But ultimately, it was a tough process that we had to go through.

The most important part of this conversation is how Chaim reacts to your feelings and whether he values them.

Think about it. Two strange women, thinking about sharing the same man in different ways, and both assessing each other’s worthiness. Not a simple situation! I do believe it is incumbent upon Chaim to help you feel more comfortable about the whole thing. Though I don’t think you should tell him that you don’t like his mother, you certainly can tell him that you felt uncomfortable being questioned by her. And see where Chaim takes it. He may reassure you and tell you that in fact his mother was even more nervous than you were and that his mother felt the meeting went very well and that she was enamored with you. Or he may in fact tell you that his mother is not the easiest of women, but that he is aware of it and will always stand by your side. Either way, the most important part of this conversation is how Chaim reacts to your feelings and whether he values them and is anxious to make you feel safe and secure. That’s truly the key – that he is prepared to always prioritize you. After all, you won’t be marrying your mother-in-law.

The Single Irit Moshe

T

ell Chaim that his mom makes you uncomfortable. When asked why, be honest but say it in


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the kindest way possible and stay as feminine as possible. See how he responds to you being uncomfortable. From there, you will know what direction to take. See if Chaim cherishes you by taking your feelings into consideration and tries to make you feel comfortable and even goes into protective mode or

see whether he goes into defensive mode and gets upset at you for saying something negative about his mother. Whether married with a difficult mother-in-law as part of the deal or with a good one, you need to be a team and always support each other. So Chaim’s job, once married

Pulling It All Together

(dating lays the foundations of what he’s made of), is to support, cherish and protect you and your inner circle that consists of only the two of you. As long as you have a supportive teammate in marriage, even the worst of mothers-in-law will not be intolerable. A perfect example is the fact that your mother and father are still married! She didn’t run for the hills because your father was obviously well worth tolerating

Couples have to talk about uncomfortable feelings or situations that arise.

his mother. Is Chaim worth it for you to tolerate his mom? Only you can determine that for yourself. Good luck!

The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

N

o one likes to feel judged or on display. Most of us have at some point or another felt someone’s disdainful eye taking in every inch of us. When in the company of someone truly disapproving or hypercritical, an energy descends upon the room. And for those of us who feel born with a sixth sense, that energy is almost palpable. Rachel Chafetz’s insight is that perhaps you are the judgmental person in this situation. I respectfully disagree. It doesn’t matter who was or was not judging. You felt something, strongly. As a therapist, I work with people’s feelings and intuitions. I don’t know what went on in that room because I wasn’t there. But I know you felt judged, belittled, demeaned, looked over, etc. And it is OK to trust your intuition. So, here you are in a relationship with Chaim, not a big fan of his mom, and your own mother is waving a red flag, telling you to run for your life. What’s a girl to do? Let’s cut to the chase with the two schools of popular thought when it comes to a potentially “difficult” mother-in-law. One school will tell you that you don’t marry someone’s mother and that everyone comes with a pekalah … this

is Chaim’s. The other school will tell you that a mother-in-law can make your life and your marriage miserable. Why marry into this situation? The third school of thought is to ignore everyone, forget about Chaim’s mother for a while, and focus on your relationship with Chaim. I think it is imperative that you speak with Chaim about this issue. The most important factor and the only thing that matters to me for now is how comfortable you are telling Chaim about your feelings, how Chaim will handle your feelings, and what action he will take to help you cope with or manage these feelings. In other words, I want you to become hyper-focused on your relationship with Chaim right now. Can we talk about this productively? Will it lead to a fight, or will it lead to feeling heard, validated and soothed? Will Chaim stick up for his mother right off the bat? How will you and Chaim navigate this situation as a couple? Perhaps Chaim will completely agree with you, or completely disagree with you. We can’t know that right now. But what you need to find out is, is

Chaim here for me? And you need to ask yourself first and foremost, am I here for Chaim? Now, let’s talk about what has prevented you from speaking about this with Chaim, thus far. I think it is significant that you have been dating for months and find yourself pulling away from him without giving him a reason. What’s going on? What is your insight or understanding of this? I’m feeling badly for the guy. Here he is, on Cloud 9 (dating the most wonderful girl in the world, I’m sure) and without reason, she has pulled away and left him in the dark. I can’t imagine how he is feeling right now. Even though it is hard to talk about uncomfortable things like not loving his mom, I think you need to have this conversation. Couples have to talk about uncomfortable feelings or situations that arise. And whether you wind up marrying Chaim or not, this is a wonderful opportunity for you to practice handling your own personal discomfort with maturity, grace and kindness. If you never see Chaim again, I would bet that you will find yourself in another uncomfortable situation with another guy somewhere down the road, whether dating or married.

Will you avoid it and ruminate? Or will you face it head on, taking your discomfort along for the ride? In conclusion, for now at least, don’t worry about either of your mothers. Put them both away, mentally, for another time. You need to focus your energy on talking to Chaim. I would begin with owning your own behavior with regard to why you have slowed things down. (Don’t be too hard on yourself. These situations don’t come with manuals). And then tell him why you have slowed down the relationship and what has been on your mind. You can do this! Sincerely, Jennifer

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed, clinical psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up an appointment, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail. com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram.


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SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 | The Florida Jewish Home

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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A spokesman for the Royal Family says ThePrince real issue is chronic dehydration, that William and Kate Middleton’s upcoming family trip to Canada will be exacerbated by her lung problem and aClinton’s “largely casual” and “highly reluctance to drinkoutdoors” water, event. normal people said, ... whichThen has become a source of“So tension camping. You’re going camping.” with her staff. “She won’t drink water,

and you try telling Hillary Clinton she has to drink water,” said a person in her Iforbit. I had a bowl of skittles and I told – Jimmy Fallon

– From a Politico article detailing how Clinton’s distain for

you that three would kill you, drinking waterjust led to her dehydration would you take a handful? That’s our Syrian I drink tons refugee of water.problem. Just as much - Tweet by Donald Trump Jr. water as I can possibly drink.

– Hillary Clinton in an interview with Katie Couric in 2008, professing her love for water

Donald Trump’s running mate Mike Pence said that This weekend, Martha Donald Trump should not his role model for Stewart the vicesaid presidency is Dick Cheney. be To president because he is “totally unprepared.” Though to be prove it, this weekend Pence had six heart attacks fair,and by Martha Stewart’s standards, we’re all unprepared. his friend the OCTOBER 29, 2015 | Thein Jewish Homeface. 22 shot – Conan O’Brien – Conan O’Brien

Hillary Clinton and her campaign of 2008 started the birther controversy. I finished it… Barack Obama was born in the United When it comes we States, period. Now weto allISIL, want to getare backin to a fight, America a narrative with them, a making strongfight and great again.

narrative battle.

– Statement by Trump addressing the Obama birther issue

- White House Spokesman Josh Earnest, on CNN, one day after several ISIS-inspired terrorist attacks in NY, NJ and Minnesota

There’s been a lot in news Trump’s childhood in I’ve briefed about the bombings in the New Yorkabout and Hillary New ForDonald the record he’s saying home BIG LEAGUE. Butbeen I like Clinton’s recent bout of pneumonia. Hillary Queens is going we up for auction next Jersey, and the attack in Minnesota. Bigly too. Maybe need to call Websters. herself tweeted about it yesterday, saying just

month. Apparently, the house has five bedrooms, or as Trump calls it, “20 walls.”

– First sentence of Hillary Clinton’s short statement to the press shortly after the Saturday night

- Instagram post by Donald Trump Jr., commenting on a t-shirt which declared “Vote Bigly,” a bombings word that his father seems to say often

like any sick person, she’s “just anxious to get back out there.” That shows how out of is with People Secretary Clinton, do youtouch have Hillary any reaction to regular the fact people. that Donald - Jimmy Fallon don’t want go back to work. in Trump, upon taking thetostage tonight, calledNobody’s the I will consider it a personal insult, an insult to my legacy, if immediately this bed at 1 p.m. thinking, “Oh man, I wish I was in New York a “bomb”? community lets down its guard and fails to activateexplosion itself in this Linda’s PowerPoint on how to fill – First question to Clinton after herwatching statement election. You are welcome Colin out my expense reports.” - President Obama speaking at the meeting of the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation

Kaepernick.

- Tweet by New York Rep. Lee Zeldin (R) on Monday, taking a swipe at cop-hating NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick after authorities took custody of the Chelsea bombing suspect

– James Corden Well, I think it’s important to know the facts about any incident like this… I think it’s always wiser to wait until you have information before making conclusions justdoing in the so beginning Herbecause doctorswe sayare she’s well, she’ll be worship the $ stages of trying to determine what happened. up and deleting emails in no time.

I’m not owned by corporate+ I don’t nor do I care what Zionists think of me.– Clinton’s response Hillary Clinton is featured in the upcoming issue of Women’s Health magazine. While next month she’ll be featured in Bad Timing magazine.

- Tweet by Newsweek magazine’s senior deputy editor Leila Hatoum after she was accused of being anti-Israel

– Jimmy Fallon, after Clinton collapsed at the 9/11 memorial ceremony

– Ibid.

There have been smarter and better looking men than me who are no longer alive. All that is left for QUOTES us to do is to keep working as hard MORE as we can and rebuild what we lost. - 113-year-old Yisrael Kristal, of Israel, upon celebrating his bar mitzvah a century after he was unable to celebrate due to World War I

MORE QUOTES


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The Florida Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 26, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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A woman in Oregon who was hospitalized for E. coli after eating Chipotle is suing the company for free Chipotle. It’s all part of Oregon’s “right to die” law. – Conan O’Brien

Yesterday Hillary tweeted to her supporters that like anyone who’s ever been home sick from work, she’s just anxious to get back out there. Then those people said, “Nope, we’re pretty happy just staying home and watching Netflix.” – Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump admitted to Dr. Oz that he is overweight, loves fast food, and doesn’t exercise. In a related story, Trump just won Wisconsin. – Conan O’Brien

I don’t know about you guys, but I am so relieved that the whole birther thing is over. I mean, ISIL, North Korea, poverty, climate change, none of those things weighed on my mind like the validity of my birth certificate. - President Obama joking at a fundraiser on Saturday night, several hours after ISIS-inspired attacks in NY, NJ and Minnesota

Yesterday Joe Biden told some of Hillary’s campaign workers that he’s also had pneumonia before, and that if the doctor tells you to take three days off, you should actually take six days off. Of course, that advice only really works if your job is vice president. – Jimmy Fallon

Most damaging of all may have been a remark she made at a fundraiser on Friday when describing Trump’s voters as a “basket of deplorables.” Wow. Hillary should put her insults in “the hamper of awkwardness.” – Steven Colbert

It sounds like the worst-selling item at Edible Arrangements. Or maybe your cousin’s suburban punk band. Or even better, maybe the Korean translation of the “Minions” movie. - Ibid.

Hillary Clinton is taking the day off again, she needs the rest. Sleep well Hillary — see you at the debate! - Tweet by Trump six days before the debate, noting Hillary’s lack of scheduled events until the debate

Wal-Mart is working on a self-driving shopping cart that would return itself to the store after you’re done using it. Though the minute that Wal-Mart shopping cart becomes self-aware, it’s going to drive itself to Target and never look back. – Jimmy Fallon

Papa John’s has announced it will be coming out with an app for Apple TV that will allow customers to order pizza from their screen. You get a soda, breadsticks, and a large pizza when you say, “Siri, how will I die?” - Seth Myers

MORE QUOTES


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SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Political Crossfire

Hillary Sharpens, Trump Softens. He’s Rising, She’s Falling By Charles Krauthammer

I

f you are the status quo candidate in a change election in which the national mood is sour and twothirds of the electorate think the country is on the wrong track, what do you do? Attack. Relentlessly. Paint your opponent as extremist, volatile, clueless, unfit, dangerous. Indeed, Hillary Clinton’s latest national ad, featuring major Republican politicians echoing that indictment of Donald Trump, ends thus: “Unfit. Dangerous. Even for Republicans.” That was the theme of Clinton’s famous “alt-right” speech and of much of her $100 million worth of ads. Problem is, it’s not working. Over the last month, Trump’s new team, led by Kellyanne Conway, has worked single-mindedly to blunt that line of attack on the theory that if he can just cross the threshold of acceptability, he wins. In an act of brazen rebranding, they set out to endow him with stature and empathy. Stature was acquired in Mexico whose president inexplicably gave Trump the opportunity to stand on the

world stage with a national leader and more than hold his own. It’s the same stature booster Sen. Barack Obama pulled off when he stood with the French president at a news conference in Paris in 2008. That was part one: Trump the statesman. Part two: the kinder gentler Trump. Nervy. Can you really repackage the boasting, bullying, bombastic, insulting, insensitive Trump into a mellow and caring version? With two months to go? In a digital age in which every past outrage is preserved on imperishable video? Turns out, yes. How? Deflect and deny – and pretend it never happened. Where are they now – the birtherism, the deportation force, the scorn for teleprompters, the mocking of candidates who take outside money? Down the memory hole. Orwell was wrong. You don’t need repression. You need only the sensory overload of an age of numbingly ephemeral social media. In this surreal election season, there is no past. Clinton ads keep showing actual Trump sound bites

meant to shock. Yet her numbers are dropping, his rising. How? Trump never goes on the defensive. He merely creates new Trumps. Hence: (1) The African-American blitz. It’s a new pose and the novelty shows. Trump is not very familiar with the language. He occasionally slips, for example, into referring to “the blacks.” And his argument that African-Americans inhabit a living nightmare and therefore have nothing to lose by voting for him hovers somewhere between condescension and insult. But, as every living commentator has noted, the foray into African-American precincts was not aimed at winning black votes but at countering Trump’s general image as the bigoted candidate of white people. Result? A curious dynamic in which Clinton keeps upping the accusatory ante just as Trump keeps softening his tone – until she finds herself way over the top, landing in a basket of deplorables, a phrase that will haunt her until Election Day. (Politics 101: Never attack the voter.) (2) The immigration wob-

ble. A week of nonstop word salad about illegal immigration left everyone confused about what Trump really believes. Genius. The only message to emerge from the rhetorical fog is that he is done talking about deportation and/or legalization. The very discussion is off the table until years down the road. Case closed. Toxic issue detoxified. Again, that’s not going to win him the Hispanic vote.

well, Obamacare. But wait. Didn’t Trump’s acolytes assure us that he spoke for those betrayed by the sold-out, elitist, GOP establishment that for years refused to stand up to Obama’s overweening mandates, Big Government profligacy and budget-busting entitlements? No matter. That was yesterday. There is no past. Nor a future – at least for Ivanka-care. It would never get

It is meant to signal what George H. W. Bush once memorably read off a cue card. “Message: I care.”

But that wasn’t the point. The point was to soften his image in the Philadelphia suburbs, pundit shorthand for white college-educated women that Republicans have to win (and where Trump trails Romney 2012 by 10 points). Which brings us to: (3) The blockbuster childcare proposal. Unveiled Tuesday, it is liberalism at its best, Big Government at its biggest: tax deductions, tax rebates (i.e. cash), and a federal mandate of six weeks of paid maternity leave. The biggest entitlement since,

through the GOP House. Nor is it meant to. It is meant to signal what George H. W. Bush once memorably read off a cue card. “Message: I care.” And where do you think Trump gave this dish-theWhigs cradle-to-college entitlement speech? Why, the Philadelphia suburbs! Can’t get more transparent than that. Or shameless. Or brilliant. And it’s working. (c) 2016, The Washington Post Writers Group

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