Soulwork in the Woods

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soulwork in the woods



soulwork in the woods


Dag Furuholmen



The title ”Soulwork in the Woods” in a literal sense stems from the fact that XLIWI TSIQW SVMKMREPP] WXEVXIH XLIMV ¾S[ MR XLI [SSHW ERH QSYRXEMRW SJ XLI Colorado National park. Since the autumn of 1999, when I star ted out as a student in The Ridhwan School, I have spent a lot of time in these woods. 4VIWIRGI XS XLI FIEYX] SJ XLI QEKRM½GIRX REXYVI SJ XLI 6SGOMIW LEW KVIEXP] MR¾Yenced my personal spiritual journey. “Signposts from a Hero’s Journey” has a literal meaning in the sense that these poems are expressions from essential states or important crossroads, and has helped me penetrate and remember my journey. Each poem is a signpost from XLI VSYXI - LEZI FIIR [EPOMRK ±8LI ,IVS´W NSYVRI]² VI¾IGXW XLI SPH Q]XLW ERH XEPIW JVSQ QER] XVEHMXMSRW SJ XLI TVMRGI XLEX [EW WIRX SYX XS ½RH XLI TVIGMSYW pearl, the essence of his own being, and how he got lost on his way getting caught in the web of his ego and the splendour of the external world. Everyone that has been on this kind of journey knows something about this and also about the pain and endurance it takes to keep searching . I dedicate this book to my teachers in the Ridhwan school, Rennie Moran, Linda Krier, and John Davis, who have guided me with so much heart and hard work. I want to thank my wife Liv Evjan for her editing work, my son Eirik Evjan Furuholmen for making such a beautiful cover and my friend Ted Usatynski for his enthusiasm and comments, and for correcting my spelling. I also want to thank Robert Bly for teaching me that poetry is soulwork, and for his generosity to read ERH EHZMWI QI SR Q] ½VWX TSIQW - EPWS XLERO 1E\ 6IKER [LS LEW KMZIR QI MRspiration to experiment and play with my writing.

Nesodden, Norway. February 2008


SOULWORK IN THE WOODS Walking the path in rocky woods Life stirring among fallen logs

SUPEREGO 1 - [MXRIWW XLI ½KLX between wrong and right between black and white Discussions in my room on compassion or doom Am I the watcher? or am I the room? -And who is discussing?


EGO I could perceive them today those silvery threads of shimmering thoughts running through my space Like rubbery strings singing songs of dread as they color my day

SOUL FOOD Eating pain and chasing ghosts that marks the realms of childhood That bitter food for searching souls


RESTLESSNESS Like children we yearn for that peaceful milk Stilling ourselves with pleasures taking us further away

EGO II – THE PAIN OF PROTECTION The pain of longing has left me this armor -XW LEVRIWW WXMPP FVYMWMRK Q] ¾IWL Its steel and its leather still colors my mornings with dread

UNITY – FROM AN UNBELIEVER Standing trembling in unity with the tribe I hear the rain pouring down inside me


DREAMING Waking from the dream with a wild breath Heart yearning for that sweet union boundaries melting

DIGNITY See the boy how he needs consolation Serenity shamed and powers belittled Comfort was given in due time for grown ups When anger’s forgotten annoyance forgiven Connecting the well PIXW XLI [EXIV WXEVX žS[MRK Awaking the soil softened by mourning Then dignity blooms on the rock of the mountain Soft on the ground


SOULWORK IN THE WOODS III Nature, not like Disney movies friendly beasts that talk Awesome force and brutal beauty face me as I walk 7YRPMX WRS[他EOIW 他SEX XS WLEHS[W between the swaying trees Trunks so potent, rocky surface sing their song to me

FATHER LOVE No longer striving to be liked by him I let go of trying and settle like a mountain


FATHER LOVE II I brought home that wish for recognition and value Let it sprout in my heart MRXS ¾S[IVW SJ TVMHI

FATHER LOVE III Crying my heart out, wailing for help That big father hand came from an unknown place Scaring my mind and soothing my soul ½PPIH QI [MXL [EVQXL GEVMRK ERH PSZI Then through the tears, scared of loosing its hold Not a believer, not deserving this gold I was helped to be my original mind a mysterious space, feeling friendly and calm


LEAVING FOR HOME My chest is tight the heart door’s closed with anxiousness like claws Old runes call do not expand just stay here, like you’re told Then nauseated, torn between the stay! – and let me go! I open up to what is real Invasion has to go 1] GLIWX KIXW ½PPIH with starry night as mystery unfolds A lightness sweeps like sun bright morn’ and laughter wakes my heart


THE DEAL – MOTHER LOVE Give her your life and your sweetness that her powers can soar unrestrained She will pay you with crumbs from her table and tell you, you are the preferred You witness her crushing the father who’s love you must yearn for in vain Now you are her puppet and playmate a prince without king, without aim You believed in your princely powers your charm and your wit in the game But you only had what she gave you as long as you stayed in her chain

THE UNDOING OF THE DEAL Responsibilities weight on his shoulders almost crushing the legs of the boy Locked in the cage of his mother trying to care for her soul Retaliation and guilt were the powers that kept those commandments in place Now unleash the red and the hatred Let them splinter that cage


THE SMOOTH ADVISER – SUPEREGO II If you would only it said Follow my scheme, - and show them your grace your kindness and heart for the lonely Your strength against evil it said And do show them your wisdom! You will feel pride then with their admiration You will have value then it said If you would only


SECRET DOORWAY II The princely armor so smooth and so charming with chest plates of clay VSSXIH HIIT MR XLI ¾IWL It’s inside that bruises with hatred and anger is aiming the spears when charm is in vain I hear the depth calling beneath that hard armor but the prince as a guardian still serves me so well “You’ll have to leave now I need you no longer no more a boy child I yearn for the well” So I enter the deep then the doorway is opened in the vastness of space I am grieving the loss He’s been seen at the borders while he whispered his service but was stopped by the guard told to leave once again


SHERE KHAN Shere Khan, the beast awakened in my soul Sensing his powers watching his fangs Caressing me softly feeding my heart

WAKING UP II Suddenly, waking up not chasing the minds pointers The restless shoulds and over theres Just arriving every moment at the perfect spot outside time


THE BEAST Feeling like a beast now hiding in his shame His eyes betraying hatred their gazes causing pain That loneliest of spaces in midst of others joy That vulnerable smallness no voice to help him call And no one seems to notice no one seems to know His secret pain stays hidden the heart stays crushed below

FATHER LOVE IV Finally I entered that black spot of my heart His coldness and his hatred broke loose then from that dark -X ½PPIH QI PMOI XLI SGIER until I nearly drowned My sense of value broken around his poisoned heart


MOTHER LOVE II Running towards his loved one joyous heart and arms up high his little body, like a smile Then, that angry look that tone of voice that stops him dead XLEX FVEOIW LMW 他S[ His heart feels crushed for loss of love despair and doubt he must be wrong So watch him now his doubtful mind with careful steps and shameful eyes His value still on trial


THE PEARL Back through time my chest collapsed to shield the heart from damage A wall of rock against the world that left the source forgotten Then waking up that deadened pain my room inside expanding It opened up towards the world like furnace heat red gloving When cooling down that open space was giving birth to new life I watched in awe that pearly white so tender soft appearing


EVENING SPRING WALK Crisp sparkling light and tender greens make spring again on darkened wood That chilly moist that calls life back among old logs and last years grass Like arms of black the branches call to rosy skies for life and growth

LOST MISSION The moon seems so close and the stars so small from this faraway watching place What is my mission? I easy forget just to witness it all and rejoice?


SPRING LOVE My heart’s in love with every grain of life and spring out there It’s open pulse on playful move feels dizzy is this real The wall has gone -´Q ½REPP] LIVI a stranger MR XLMW ½IPH Intense and bright my presence feels like bursting into light


MOUNTAIN VIEW =SY EVI WXVMZMRK XS ½RH MX EVSYRH ]SY an expression of who you are To help you remember your greatness and to make you feel more at one You are carefully choosing your items you are picking them one by one Their color and texture reminds you but soon their importance is gone =SY´PP RIIH XLIR XS ½RH E RI[ SRI that is even more right than the last So that no one around you may wonder but will believe in the image you cast You are observing the feel of your actions and choosing your words with care 8LI] EPP RIIH XS ½X MR XLI TEXXIVR so you don’t loose the grip on your shell Sitting in silence you wonder when the view from the mountain appear This silent and spacious grounding not in need of assistance to be


THE GENIUS – SUPEREGO IV The Watcher from the distance will set your feeling mode and measure your performance according to the laws With promises of pride and teasers showing fame with humble rules of knighthood and shunning personal gain You sense the whip from distance a reminder of her rage a cold condemning hatred no interest in your faith You whip the stupid others who’re bragging out of vain you watch its work in action and keep yourself in line Do make your mother happy bestow her with your calm be her little genius admired by the crowd Presented like a statue a beauty on a block exposing his credentials a hero without pride


AT HOME IN THE NARROW I believed in the narrow I felt home in the tense I had forgotten my birthright that lively zest That fullness of breath so slowly regained and the softness of rest

THE FULL MOON The full moon’s revealing the land in the dark The clouds slowly drifting conceals it with night A watchful forget ness is hiding my home I slowly move closer when there’s light on my road


THE LOSS OF IDEAL Inside the man a boy is still yearning To feel the delight of fatherly strength The size of a King that can rule in the heavens Could make him feel safe and complete once again He searches his world ½RHW LIVSIW XS PIER SR Abandons his strength not to loose their support And again disappointed he might look for a new one 3V ½REPP] JIIP the depth of his hole


AUTUMN DAY Nature’s changed its colours now [MXL VIH ERH ]IPPS[ ¾EQIW Amongst the paling mountain grass and branches put to rest Evergreens in silent wait’ for the autumns end 8LIR XLI ½REP EWL MW WLIH as snowfall once again ;EPOMRK JIIPW PMOI ¾SEXMRK LIVI MR XLIWI FEVVIR ½IPHW Cold and clear the winds expand put the mind at ease Bluish mountains in the distance everlasting age Standing still beneath the heavens ½PP ]SY [MXL XLIMV WTEGI


UNKNOWN GROUND I lost my face to day What was that force that opened up and pushed its way towards the front I lost myself to another ground where silence stirred in unknown calm In background still the mind distressed it could not know it would not rest When nothing moved I was at one [MXL ½IPHW no longer looked upon Time had gone no aim or goal I was Gods face to witness all


ENJOYING THE RIDE The universe is playing games today Laughter is on tumble sale and sunshine’s in my head The doors are open something’s lost Identity with all its cost And wind is in my hair Happy seven age has left But I’m still here wondering Now the moon is rising big like a pie The universe is playing games and I enjoy the ride


SOULWORK IN THE WOODS IV Walking in the Rockies soaring like a bird wondering who’s the walker lends my feet such speed I try to grasp his nature FILMRH XLI ¾E[PIWW WXITW all I hear is laughter and joy I can’t explain

THE OBSERVER The clouds they move so light and swift across the moon and stars I stand below and watch I awe the beauty of it all The moon’s so full the clouds so white where does it all leave me I’m standing here far down below wondering who to be


COMMUNION – SECRET DOORWAY III The heart door was closed the space outside taken By mother who claimed her life was forsaken Joy was spite to her life of frustration He witnessed in fear his fathers’ castration The guardian was anxious he sent out his warnings You will be too much you’ll be shamed for your longing But the ice kept on thinning till water lay open ,IEVXW PSRKMRK JYP½PPIH XLSYKL SPH WSVVS[ [EW ¾S[MRK


INSECURE – MOTHER LOVE III Do not ask all these questions Do not dare to look close Just stay in the dizzy No sharpness of thought Or anger will haunt you And blow you away Your ground will desert you And leave you in pain So tense up your body Your legs and your fear Act strong and be charming To hold her at bay You try to forget But you still hear her say I am your ground You’re my foe or my pray


JOYOUS HEART 1SYRXEMR ½IPHW of late December Icy cold and sunny bright Packed in dunes of snowy crystals 6I¾IGXMRK FVMKLXRIWW of low light Cheeks are cold and chest is hot From skiing endless mountain slopes Snow is speaking sounds of dryness Below skis and moving poles Surrounded by this silent vast It opens up my joyous heart


TRAVELING LIGHT Lightness is a magic I invite into my life I feel it in my movements I feel it in my mind I see it in the landscape of snow and whitened pines The ranges in the distance XLEX WIIQW XS ¾SEX MR PMKLX But heaviness is pulling an old template of my soul Rage ‘gainst being helpless a shield ‘gainst feeling small Heaviness invades me as a helper from the past A make believe contraption support against all bad Then clouds that move like feathers across the winter sky Reminds me of the magic and pulls me back to life A lightness that is deep a lightness that is vast It speaks to my whole being and frees me from the past


BLESSING The boat is moving slowly towards the evening light A golden peaceful glow with winter all around The wind moves like an artist and shapes the waters face Light as soundless music it dances without end Surrounded by this lightness the dance of sea and sky I open to receive this blessing for the night


ABUNDANT LOVE I found my love was buried beneath the veil of fear I’d lost the recognition to me it felt like shame I’d settled for the version to merge when in the grace I made my luck by striving to change my given face Then seeing the delusion of judgment from without The veil of fear receded and love reclaimed the heart 1] LIEVX [EW SZIV¾S[MRK as love was settling in A sense of soft completeness wanting to be shared This kingdom made of softness still feels like mountain ground No neediness or worry from this abundant place


SACRED NATURE You say I’m like one of those big cats Killing when hungry enjoying his kingdom in the sun Caring for his cubs till they’re grown enough

SACRED NATURE II Witnessing the morning sun on that snowy range I remembered myself an open heart touched by beauty


SACRED NATURE III Remembering the Source that giant stream taking you away You die with fear but no regrets as you let go

WAITING FOR SPRING Spring rain falls on my morning face (VSTW MR 他MKLX catch my sleepy state They stop a while moistening the trees Let go and fall like little streams It wakes me up on this foggy day Branches bud we are all in wait


RAIN IS COMING Rain is coming from the sea I watch it drifting borne by wind I sit in silence nature moves it touch my skin and sets my mood Like an eagle sitting still I watch it close up on my sill The sounds of wind through grass and leaves mind so still ‘mong moving trees


FRIENDSHIP I laid my soul wide open for my friend to see put down those hardened scales and let it all run free I showed my pained confusion he said he knew this place he’d been there some years early I saw it in his face The sharing and compassion allowed me leave that space of lonely cramped illusion my happiness at stake His eyes that saw me open his voice that gave support I took it in and slowly I was no more alone


TRUSTING THE HEART Then trusting the heart its yeses and nos sensing this wholeness complete Not making speeches of rights and of wrongs appeasing the critic within Being one piece a wholeness of man soft and solid on ground Sensing and trusting XLI 他S[ JVSQ [MXLMR the knowing that comes from the heart

FEELING LOST Feeling lost As before In this friendly wood Exactly where I want to be


GARDEN SERENADE This old garden plays its songs Light and shadow serenades Helped by wind and morning sun Through moss and autumn trees Grass still green VI¾IGX XLI PMKLX Like shiny silver strings The larger trees of woods around Dance a slow old waltz Dead brown leaves upon the ground Reminds of what’s to come


GREEN SPROUTS Green sprouts on my fathers darkened picture 4VIWIRX MR XLI ¾S[ of teaching the boy

SEDUCTION The sea is a plate of silver 7SJX KVE] VI¾IGXW XLI WYR Boats move slow in distance Towards land of misty blue Summer seems to linger But autumn sings the tune I’m seduced by sweetness Of late October’s June


MILD LIGHT Suddenly a mildness in the evening light Songs of love from every bird into a warmer sky Branches birthing green in between their calls A dog’s bark into stillness Announcing spring

HUMANISM Humanism is being happy with the abundance that is you Not comparing loosing ground Not judging through another’s eyes Not conjuring visions from long gone past Being ordinary is enough


THE DOME The dome of ego shudders its rusty structure screams The superego frantically trying to maintain its beams It’s painting old ideals and securing with critique Comparing you to others and hope you come out clean Inside this rusty hollow is emptiness, no ground Identity is shattered HI½GMIRX TEMR MW EPP The stronghold of this tower of guilt and old beliefs Holds on from solar plexus a cramp from front to rear It holds itself in panic not to disappear But space dissolves its body and laughter is what’s real


THE CRADLE OF I I fell out of the cradle into a boundless space Between images and stories SJ XLI ½RI HIWMKR - LEH The loss was overwhelming no address and no goal Separate from others a sense of being lost The habits of the friendly that cozy glue was gone The I still strongly tempting that cradle of the known How to trust my nature XS ½RH ERSXLIV KVSYRH Being in this open no views to lean upon


HYMN TO AN OLD MASTER High in barren landscape Of snow and howling winds Home of this old giant No longer just a tree His roots still eating rock His trunk like hardened steel This old and silent master Is showing how to live -R IZIV] LEVHIRIH ½FIV In all his glistening green He shows the force of life The willingness to be


THE CALL OF THE I 8LI FYXXIV¾] MW VMTI RS[ ½KLXW PSSWI SJ XLI GSGSSR Yet the I is calling you left your hull too soon It calls with different voices it sings with different tunes 7SQI WXSVMIW ½PPIH [MXL W[IIXRIWW some with threats of doom The birthright of this being XS PMZI E PMJI MR ¾MKLX Borne on wind and sunshine expressing all its life


THE SQUEEZE 8LI SYX¾S[ SJ LMW FIMRK caught between do’s and don’ts Mommy’s fear of others Father feeling small 8LI ¾S[ SJ PMJI ERH TPIEWYVI born within his core Lost to his awareness mommy needed all Calling for the father wanting his support Alone there in the open hurting from his loss Now rest in the abundance away from calls of shame As the caller weakens the fullness of his strength


EATING THE DRY % WTEGI ½PPIH [MXL PMJI precious and full ZMFVERX ERH ¾S[MRK nothing is dull Then a call comes with stories of beauty and fame “Come to my store I will feed you again” I am sensing its dryness hollow and dull like eating a picture of something that’s full Sense the abundance and taste what is real Sense your own life XLEX MW ¾S[MRK [MXLMR


STAYING ON THE EDGE I see the wall of future still tempting me to look The mind a willing ally it knows the way to hook Soothing me with stories of whom I am to be Or looks into the mirror its back view safely speaks Being in the middle this edge of sacred ground A space of no opinion not knowing what’s to come


THE KING`S GUARD The darkened guards hold their lines watch the royal castle Trunks like iron ‘gainst the sky on this autumn morning Grownup men feel like boys with these solemn elders Struck by power of the still reaching for the heavens


THE KING`S GUARD II Old guards still standing tall in the dark Cold rain announcing winter Their hardened feet deep in the ground Shed leaves the only shelter Young soldiers march between their legs Click heels like paper tigers


WARRIOR DREAMS The warrior stance was protecting his heart Gave him the armour that set him apart He fought for his value he fought for his right His keen eyes were watching LMW FVEZI LIEVX HMH ½KLX Then letting his fence fall [EZIW žSSHIH [MXL TEMR Letting go of his hopes to make right again That vigilant stance gone so focused with fear Left him wide open to sense his own pearl So soft and alive this pearly white fruit Out in the open in touch with it all


PILLARS OF TRUTH Looking at the tower The pillars of old truth I sense the fear behind it It’s reason getting loose The real truth of the moment I tasted in my heart An intimate communion And freedom from the past This longing from forever Gives rise to open space Allows me take my true seat And sense into the depths The path that I am walking Feels like my own ground The doubt of real belonging Has gone, I’m coming home


FLOW Following the body in such amazing speed ¾S[MRK XLVSYKL XLI QSXMSRW no thought of where this leads The oneness with the movements XLMW TVIWIRGI MR XLMW ½IPH lets me sense the mover dancing at his will When peace is slowly settling a lightness does appear a smiling boy of sunshine at peace with what he is

GREEN SPROUTS II Green sprouts on my fathers darkened picture Honouring the love and the longing That once was in my heart


WARRIOR DREAMS II The little hero rises he steels his tiny legs He takes his sword and helmet the armour for his chest The warrior takes his stance he feels his strength and will Behind his shining armour he’s proud and has no fear The soul within this steel MW GETXYVIH MR MXW žS[ It can no longer feel the outside takes it all


ALONE In his private chamber the boy maintained his woe to be strong and clever like his hero could support ALONE II The wonder of the father this sense of having gold Was robbed him by the mother who shamed the one he loved Heartache in his own home feeling lost and wrong With the blinded father that left him long ago ALONE III Alone in natures garden stillness does arise Feeling like a lone child without his known support Every moment laden with the presence of it all No strings of action soothing not knowing clear and cold


ALONE IV Separate among others 2S ½PEQIRXW EGVSWW XLI WTEGI No hooks of ingratiation No sense of having debts The clarity of vision From this seat inside Resting in aloneness I see your natural face ALONE V Soaring like a big bird borne upon the winds alone between the heavens a golden heart within


THE BIGGEST THIEF The biggest thief of all lives right beneath my skin He tells me: “Oh I like this!” “Let’s play it once again” I sense I am being drawn out from this serene and inner place To the outer charms of doing it again And once the thief has eaten the life that’s new and fresh He wears it as a medal upon his rusty chest


SONG OF PRESENCE Why don’t you want to Be present She said In the freshness That’s here Instead of walking the tombs Of your past Or the airy castles Of future She said Why not pay attention To the winds Moving you Like a song You must listen closely To hear The words of beauty


THE BIGGEST THIEF II The thief my companion has been working so hard To gather his medals of fame He’s been running and helping and serving as guard All just to protect my heart He’s sad about leaving he is scared to be lost But he’s paid and I’ll kiss him Goodbye


BENEATH THE WALLS I slipped into the darkness I fell beneath the walls into a peaceful blackness I lost the sense of home Then starlight seemed to gather it lightened up my mind From my darkened body the light began to shine It streamed out from the well and settled in my heart I found my private seat no longer in the dark A softness moved my body where walls had lost their hold The mountains moved inside me we shared the ground of all


DIFFUSION Not trusting what’s real in his own heart He’s looking for truth in the other A child without ground he longs for support 8V]MRK XS ½RH MX in mother The grownups are naming it sensible ways Like pros and cons and politeness When the energy’s gone diffused from the real A sense of confusion and smallness He’s loosing contact with his soul Letting the old fear control him In need of support he offers his charms And walk the walk of the others


THE RAW You’re moving past the guardian MRXS XLI ½IPHW EPSRI Separate without guidance small and on your own This outrage will be punished the betrayal of your guide You curl up like a foetus still hurting in your heart =SY [MPP RSX WXST ]SYV PMJI ¾S[ you move into the pain As black space slowly rises your presence has no end You’ve opened to the wholeness no veils to soothe this raw The sound of rain runs through you ]SY WIRWI XLI VMZIVW ¾S[


NO ADDRESS I cried out loud I loose it all my friends my life my self Another journey has begun Of shrinking into dust The fear prevails I loose my hold No address left in space No inside and no outside here To put the self at rest


SWALLOWS 8LI W[EPPS[W ¾] so low now They say “it’s ‘fore the rain” I hear the distant thunder I still can sense the pain But sun is slowly rising It gently holds my walk A smile inside my body Brings hope and joy and warmth


BABY BLUE A lonely child is calling across the plains of time Doesn’t trust your doing doesn’t trust your charm It’s fear of disapproval takes hold and pulls your heart A mist of dread invades you you sink into the part This entity of old hurt is known by every cell You start forget your hereness and soon you’ve left yourself


CONNECTED The brightness of an open heart 他S[W to meet you like the sun

TRUTH To sense your hearts desire To feel its light and joy 8S 遜RH your true connection To be ]SYV PMJI ERH 他S[ Your seat of peace and riches No doubt or quest for fame Your dignity like water 8LEX 他S[W to meet itself


YELLOW I feel silly I said light like a child With giggles and laugh pouring out of my heart What am I to do with myself in this state? Maybe there’s nothing but being She said It struck me so deep I fell into my heart The truth is so simple I make it so hard


HEART What is your heart E TPEGI SJ 他IWL of veins and blood inside you Now sense again and sink into the spring of life that bides there This space of joy this sense of smile that shines its light around you


PANIC You panicked when they told you To be is not enough =SY LEZI XS ½RH another ground desert the soft and calm You have to check your natural step to be your new ideal to watch your every move and smile to prove you’re in this deal That new ground so evasive a construct of your mind those constant dos and don’ts to keep you on the line The tense became your new home It served your cause so well You did forget the real You think you are this shell


SIMPLICITY Simplicity she said, is not about style It’s not about being the right kind of guy It’s not about acting the right kind of way It is she said, being at one with whatever you are walking the streets or driving your car

CHANGE Dark mornings and wet leaves Autumn talks


ALIVE Being that 他S[ SJ PMJI Being that WTMVMXIH 他IWL Being that conscious space sensing it all


TURNING AWAY You’re moving out betraying That stillness of your heart The duty so compelling You move to play your part You’re reaching out to please them You’re moving out to care You turn away to have that smile that makes you feel so safe The hurt of your betrayal is numbed by every move You’re master of your image But still you’ll have to prove Then suddenly such stillness Such pain to turn away This intimate communion with your sacred space


HOPE A little boy was punished a little boy was left his chest caved in like burning his longing had no end Then hoping for tomorrow soothed by his plan to make a real good mother of the one he had CHILDHOOD In the aftermath of punishment the certainty of doom Abandoned in that empty dead no way to stop the pain Still, crying comes to end a new sound ½RHW MXW [E] A tune emerging from the depths soothing: “You exist”


THE KNIGHT The King in his castle sense in his heart a wanting for contact and joy He calls for his knight The knight comes at once bringing a silvery tray “I will carry your message into the world I will tell you how well they respond” He bows and leaves The King stays behind His life safe beneath walls The knight returns Message written in gold “They like you and sends their regards” The King feels numb No life in those words He turns and he closes his heart


CHANGE Early morning comes with change One of many deaths A ship is leaving Slow and heavy no return Your body feels the weight A ship is leaving You turn to sense behind you A dark tune of farewell A ship is leaving Then to bow the sense of joy This journey has begun A ship is leaving


THE FORTRESS I am looking at the fortress from inside these old walls its attitudes and knowledge the laws in case of war I’m hanging like a puppet in those silver threads they tell about the outside and bides me not to rest


THE DEEP I woke up to a starry night Floating in its black peace Rooted in its light



THIN LINE The thin line of the living Almost broken in my friend His chest and heart laid open To bring him back again Crying in his pain and hiding in his fear He shook us all to wake up The line between is real


THE ARAB SINGER The Arab singer opened his heart Calling the Holy I am yours tonight Bourne by strings driven by beat Moving the souls come feel the heat ,IEVXW EVI 他SEXMRK to a warmer space Bodies are moved by this bliss taking place


MOON CHANT The cicadas evening concert ½PPW XLI WSYXLIVR EMV Old frog calls out to join them a hoarse old-fashioned chant They’re complaining to the new moon she keeps hiding in her home Just a narrow silver line shines out beneath her door They’ll keep on singing every night until their call is heard And then they’ll sing her praise all night till the sun wakes up


PERFUME RIVER – SONG HUONG Among Buddhas and scooters and farmers of rice The holy and practical seems to unite Working and smiling and intent to sell They build up with bricks what the war once erased Like swarms of mosquitoes from morning till night 8LI] ½PP YT XLI WXVIIXW with their motos and noise But up from the river the monks work in peace In the Thien Mu Pagoda the Buddha still lives


WAKING UP Early morning ½PPIH [MXL PMJI like a river moves inside Sea breeze singing in the palms sun just touching soft and calm Open ended this new day pregnant in a peaceful way


PATHAYA ATTRACTIONS He looks at his toy from a faraway place Lost in his deadness he still wants to enjoy His money has hooked her she plays by his will Control is the game of no pain and no fear He sucks on her youth his own so far gone Attracted by life’s heat PMOI E ¾] MR XLI GSPH


SAD GIRL She came with a blackness of duty and shame Punished with words from her past I asked her to tell me the truth of her pain She told me her God was so stern His voice was like thunder He told her she failed To be like her mother would want This haunted young woman who claimed she heard God So special in her painful way Was shocked when she saw she’d created it all her own fear of judgement was all


RIVER Standing in the river in this stream of life Captured by its beauty mysterious and dark - XV] XS VIEH MXW GSSP 他S[ that pulls me with its might Will it bring me fortune or just a frozen night


GROWN MEN They were all marked these grown men Stern fathers and harsh rules They had to choose those young boys Obey law or stay alone They found their means those young warriors To bend fate their own way 2S ¾S[ SJ ease for those men Hearts still carry pain Sixty years’ ½VI A long burning ,EXI ¾EQIW ERH sorrow feeds


NUMB A small boy’s standing very still he does no longer want Arms pulled back not reaching out loud for mothers love Young man sitting in the corner silent with his beer Sees her arms round someone’s neck He never VIEGLIH XLI ¾SSV Grown man trying to sense his want in the hollow of his heart It all evades him he’s numbed out for giving up so long


DIGNITY III Her daddy like a child Her mother like a teen She was far too much for them She couldn’t hold it in She begged for their compassion She starved and cut her arms They said she was self centred “We’re the ones who’re harmed” I met her as a grown up generous and wild She took back what belonged to her Her dignity and heart 108

FLIES Those young men in the bar Business suits and stone eyes Waiting PMOI 他MIW for prey Mobile phones 他EWL PMOI ORMZIW Gritted teeth make insect smiles To the world for more champagne


DADDY’S GIRL This woman child so stiff and sad so lost in rules of nice Rules for every turn of life and deadness in her eyes No reason to complain she said with money from my dad She even judged her sadness the only life she had


FUNFAIR BOY I saw him behind his shelter Selling balls to throw Hardly seventeen of age His eyes already gone What takes a young mans life this way And leaves him in the dull Selling tickets rainy days is hardly what’s to blame


FUNNY HAT An old lady with a funny hat walks through autumn gold Kicking leaves ERH PIX XLIQ 他] with such a tender smile The sunny park and memories of summers that have gone


NEON Autumn has reached the city Dark nights and wet lights shining on pavement and stone The Kings trees have sighed and let go of their gold turning brown on the wet lawns Autumn faces, pale and closed, passing neon paintings for a bleak season Rain gently washing


THE KINGS GUARD III Old soldier in the park Scarred skin and broken limbs from those long snowy winters Roots like steel no leaves green moss ‘round his heart L loves M in this pale winter light

PEACE The sea is silent cold and dark Winter sings its tune A ferry’s gliding on its lights red and green towards the key Comes to pick me up


GREETING Winter morning red and grey ice on ponds frozen bay - GEWX Q] ¾] ERH KVIIX XLI W[ER I am not here JSV XLI ½WL


THE DEEP I woke up to a starry night Floating in its black peace Rooted in its light

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