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Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Editor Marc Craig Production Colm McCarroll

The material contained within Tenerife Weekly may not to be reproduced unless permission has been received from the Owner. Disclaimer

CONTRIBUTORS John Sharples Sir Old Golfer Steve Andrews Barry Pugh Diane McGlone Colin Kirby English Time

The opinion of the owner or staff of Tenerife Weekly is not necessarily mirrored in the opinions or assertions made by any of our contributors.

Janet Anscombe

Meryl Kew

(Red Queen Musings)

lagomera1.blogspot Adeje Blog

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PUB QUIZ (Page 34)

1: The brush 2: Pebbles 3: A sail on its back 4: It is square 5: The daffodil 6: None 7: Meg, Beth, Jo or Amy 8: Honda 9: Stephen Fry 10: Violet Carson 11: The Ballad of John and Yoko

SUDOKU Easy (Page 16)

627 686 830


Issue 111

Miller Rental S.L C.I.F: B 38709366 Deposito Legal: TFE 447/2012

While Tenerife Weekly makes every realistic effort to inspect the contents of all of our advertising, it cannot be held responsible for any assertions or declarations they may make.

SUDOKU Challenging (Page 16)

Owner & Publisher - Christopher Miller

1. Chairs 2. They Have Covers 3. They Come In Strips 4. Island Nations 5. Slang For Coffee 6. They Have Colonels 7. Goats 8. Books Of The Bible 9. Eyes 10. Guards 11. Tellers 12. Parts Of A Golf Course 13. They Produce Milk 14. They Have Drives 15. Lights




Solutions to this week’s puzzles


Hello all! As I sit here typing my editorial I’m struggling to make my fingers work it’s so damn cold! Yes it’s been another week dominated by extreme weather, from more rain, and also snow and hail here in Tenerife, but storm misery still dominates UK news and then of course the poor US of A is learning what it’s like to live inside a chest freezer! I didn’t know what a Polar Vector was until this week, but if I ever hear of one heading this way,

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014 I’m just going to follow in the footsteps of the Jamaican bobsleigh team in the movie Cool Runnings, and dress up in every item of clothing I possess! So, apart from the pictures that will make you feel a bit chilly, there’s a piece on page 5, listing all the times our islands has doubled for warmer locations, like ancient Greece and alien planets! Barry Pugh warms us up with a recipe for spicy oven-baked fajitas and Steve Andrews reminds us that spring is almost here, which brings me sadly to the announcement that unfortunately, due to circumstances


beyond our control, this is Steve’s last issue with us. I would like to thank Steve personally, not only for his fascinating gardening column, but for the thoroughly entertaining and engaging interview that I gave him not so long ago for my page 5, you’re one of a kind Steve, best of luck from all of us here at the Tenerife Weekly. Hopefully, if my cunning plan works, I’ll be unveiling a new columnist for our gardening section next week…. If I haven’t frozen solid by then!

Marc Craig

Hail, Gales And Winter Sales

Continued from page 1


ne week into the New Year and it seemed the weather worldwide was determined to make sure we know who’s really in charge. From the previously unheard of but scary sounding “polar vector” turning the US into a frozen hell, not unlike the Hollywood movie “Day After Tomorrow” to people-napping 30 foot tidal waves sweeping the coasts of the UK and parts of Europe including Spain and the Canaries, to hailstones the size of golf balls in Tenerife and snow ON SOME BEACHES AND ON THE TF1! After receiving an official orange alert for rain and snow on Wednesday predicting the new wave of bad weather to begin at around 4am Thursday morning, the storm was certainly prompt when at exactly 4am I

Letter From Christine Hoban At Tenerife Family Church To The Editor, Thank you Marc for going the extra mile. I was chuffed you worked so quickly and the article was in print and should have jogged people’s memories for the craft day tomorrow, hopefully had impact for the new church service in the Winter Gardens and yet again stir those messy people to come to Messy church, me included. I’m girding myself up for that, the children are mostly in the Mums and Tots age group i.e. very small!! I did sugarpaste snowmen with all generations and then did my first puppet

was awoken to what confusingly sounded like machine-gunfire! We gazed bleary-eyed but astonished as huge chunks of ice bounced through our open patio doors as the sky pelted us with hundreds of thousands of hailstones some large enough to do serious damage. Accompanying the deafening percussion of the hail came a continuous bass boom of growling thunder and a light show that Pink Floyd would be proud of, a nonstop lightning display that strobed across the sky for as long as my eyes managed to stay open. The rain continued throughout the night and by 9.30am it looked as if the worst had passed, much to the relief of the thousand of bargain hunters desperate to get to those shops. Yes it’s Winter Sales time here in Tenerife, they officially started on Tuesday 7th and are set to run until March with many stores offering up to 70% off their sale items! So far it looks as though this extraordinary weather won’t affect the shopaholics too much, Mother Nature was considerate enough to unleash the worst of it in the middle of the night... Who knows? Maybe she’s a shopper too!

story. I did carve a notch on my learning curve belt, which was to remind me NOT to throw chocolate coins to the kids, UNTIL I HAVE FINISHED THE STORY!! I’ve had my own children and grandchildren but most experience gained in running a cub pack with boys 8 to 11. Although they are absolute angels most of the time, if you let the programme slip for just a few minutes, you would turn round and find a pile of about 30 boys play fighting. Memories and learning curves! If you can deal with 30 boys out of school, believe me, you can deal with most things in life! Thanks for your help. Yours, sincerely, Chris



eaders Have Pledged To Consolodate Bilateral Relationship.

The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, and the president of the Canary Islands, Paulino Rivero, have agreed on a plan to bring about amendments to the Canary Islands Special Economic and Fiscal Regime, (REF) and at the same time aired each others’ differences on issues such as oil exploration in the waters of the archipelago. Rivero held a press confer-

ence at the end of his half hour meeting with Rajoy at the Moncloa Palace yesterday, in which they discussed the main problems of the inhabitants of the archipelago. There are to be further bilateral meetings before the end of February, with the aim of agreeing a proposal for the Islands’ special tax regime so that, as is mandatory, it can be forwarded to Brussels. Rivero explained that the Canarian government has almost completed the terms of its proposed approach

Rivero And Rajoy

to changing the economics of the scheme, in which issues such as subsidies for the transport of goods and passengers , desalination of water , the Canarian comprehensive employment plan and Tourism infrastructure plan are included . As far as Rivero is concerned, the modifications to the Economic and Fiscal Regime (REF) expected within this year, after an extension from Brussels, are a vital question for the Canaries, because the REF is the tool

which, he says will generate economic activity and create job options. The REF includes the special three-tiered IGIC sales tax scheme here as well as import duties on goods from the rest of Europe. The leaders also discussed the reform of the statute of the Canary Islands, an issue that Rivero is on record as saying cannot be separated from the modification to the REF, because of the need to shore up the legal validity of the special scheme.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

NEWS ON Well-known sportsman THE ROCK missing in las Cañadas Police in Tenerife said they rescued a man whose relatives locked him in the trunk of a car on New Year’s Eve because he was drunk. Police responding to an emergency call from a neighbor -- found the man, 24, unresponsive and wrapped in a blanket in the trunk of a car last Wednesday in Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Paramedics determined the man was simply passed out. When he came to, police said he told them he had a vague recollection of being put in the trunk by his brother, cousin and another person. No charges were filed The details are sketchy but a little girl has died in Tenerife after hitting her head on a door in Chimiche, Granadilla. Emergency services were called when the 2-year-old was already being taken by car for medical treatment for head wounds: controllers asked that the driver should stop in the nearest petrol station in order to link up with paramedics. The child was transferred to ambulance at Fasnia on the TF1, and then taken at full speed to Candelaria hospital where, tragically, she died. The Guardia Civil have taken charge of the investigation. A 77-year-old man died when he fell into the sea while fishing in the Las Bajas area of Santiago del Teide. Emergency services were called out and after finding him unconscious, rescued him with a jet ski, and took him to Los Gigantes harbour where paramedics attempted to resuscitate him. Their repeated efforts were to no avail, however, and the poor man was confirmed dead at the scene. The Teide access road via La Esperanza, the TF2, will reopen on Friday, the Cabildo has announced. The road has been closed since 10 December first because of ice and snow during the recent storm, and then before it could be reopened there was a serious collapse of an entire carriageway near the Los Loros junction. Cabildo roads councillor José Luis Delgado said that the reopening would proceed on Friday providing that there was no further snowfall in the meantime. The barranco del Infierno has been closed, officially anyway, to walkers since 2009 when a walker died in a rockfall. Since then, questions and rumours about when, or even whether, it would reopen have been plentiful. Now, however, Adeje Ayuntamiento has finally approved the administrative contract for the service of information and public use of the hiking trail; it was published yesterday in the Boletín Oficial de Canarias. Concejal de Obras y Servicios, Gonzalo Delgado, said that barring unforeseen problems the barranco should be reopened in three months. For conservation and security reasons, a limit of 300 walkers per day will be imposed. The average price of a new house in the islands dropped by 6.5 percent in 2013, according to the Spanish Society of Appraisers, who confirm that prices showed a negative trend for the fifth consecutive year in the Canary Islands. In Santa Cruz de Tenerife the price of a new home fell by 9.1 percent, while in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria the drop was 5.2 percent. The price of a home in the Tenerife capital was 1,289 euros per square metre but there has also been a downward trend in other areas such as as Arona (-12.8 percent), Puerto de la Cruz (-8.1 percent), San Cristóbal de la Laguna ( -6.5 percent), and La Orotova (-3.9 percent). The national average was a drop of -7.8 percent. La Laguna council has announced that the beach at El Castillo is now open. Having been closed due to contamination, the clean up protect has cost 60,000 euros and taken three months to complete. During the closure, other improvements were made, including access to the beach, stairs and ramps refurbished and a stone bench put in place.



HE GUARDIA Civil said on 4th January, that its mountain unit is searching in Las Cañadas for a sportsman who disappeared.

The search team has been joined by AEA, Bomberos del Consorcio de Tenerife, as well as mountaineering groups and friends of the missing man. He has been identified as 39-yearold Víctor Teni, a well-known triathlete, mountaineer and trail runner His last contact with family and friends is said to have been at 11am on 1st January. His vehicle was found near the mountaineers’ Refugio Edmundo Herrero in the Llano de Ucanca area. The Guardia Civil and other rescue teams resumed the search for Victor the following morning, starting at 8am, aided by around 100 volunteers, comprising friends and family, and fellow sportsmen. Victor was reported missing on the 3rd, after intending to spend New Year’s Eve in the mountaineers’ refuge as part of a training exercise on New Year’s Day. Rescuers are not sure, however, whether he was intending to scale Teide or Guajara mountain, so the search is being divided between those two areas, spreading out from the refuge where his car was found. The official team was joined by some 250 fellow athletes and friends rather than the 100 originally estimated, but still it was without result. The search continued the following morning, the third day of looking for Victor. The Guardia Civil brought in a rescue dog on the fourth day to help in the search, and said that they have been actively looking in an area where there had been a rockfall. Vic-

tor’s family and friends are putting the authorities under considerable pressure to bring in the army to help the search, which, on entering its fifth day, the full range of rescue teams, volunteers, dogs, and a search and rescue helicopter was back on Teide looking for any sign of him. Conditions up there have worsened, and the wind is picking up. The Teleférico has said it’s closed because of the winds, and the forecast is for heavy snow above 1,800m over the next 36 hours. As positive as one tries to be, it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that time is of the essence, and that this might in any case already be a recovery, rather than a rescue, operation. The Guardia Civil has announced that the search for Victor was suspended yesterday due to adverse weather conditions in the crater and peaks of Teide. The following photo shows the situation near the observatory around 10am this morning, with temperatures down to around -5ºC.

FRee 1 DaY TRIal FoR GYM oR a ClaSS


FRee 1 DaY TRIal FoR GYM oR a ClaSS


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


tenerife at tHe movies

ith Hollywood about to hit Tenerife yet again following the recent announcement that “50 Shades Of Grey” will film scenes from the honeymoon on Tenerife’s beaches and Chris Hemsworth taking direction again from Ron Howard on location in La Gomera for “In The Heart Of The Sea”, it’s almost becoming the norm to have a film production and celebrities filming around the corner. But the Canaries have long been a popular location for movie makers, from beautiful beaches, rugged coastlines, enchanting forests, majestic mountains, even alienesque landscapes, there is something for every movie project. So, here’s a list of the various movies that you may not know have filmed here in the Canary Islands. “Los Abrazos Rotos” Ok not a Hollywood production, but it starred a true Hollywood screen goddess, Penelope Cruz, and was written and directed by acclaimed Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar. Not only filmed in Lanzarote, its plot was Inspired by darkness and by a photo of a couple, that Almodóvar took of El Golfo beach in Lanzarote in the late 1990s. “The Dictator” I didn’t know about this one but Sasha Baron Cohen’s latest comic creation, Admiral General Aladeen, the dictator of the fictional Republic of Wadiya, who followed the in the footsteps

By Marc Craig

of his classic characters Ali G, Borat and Bruno, was filmed in La Gomera, doubling as the make believe North African country. “Enemy Mine” This 1985 sci-fi movie starring Dennis Quaid, used Lanzarote Montañas del Fuego National Park, to create the harsh alien landscape the two stars crash land upon. “The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy” The pre-title sequence of the movie adaptation of Douglas Adams book, starring Martin Freeman, was shot in Loro Parque. “krull” This fantasy/science fiction spectacular which was cashing in on the phenomenal success of the Star Wars trilogy became a cult classic. Again Lanzarote’s dramatic landscape provided the backdrop. Caveman Capers The archipelago has provided a prehistoric canvas for many a directors vision, “The Land That Time Forgot” and its sequel “The People That Time Forgot”, used multiple locations in the Canaries including La Palma, La Gomera and Garajonay national park in Tenerife, and Raquel Welch and her famous fur bikini was filmed here and in Lanzarote for “One Million Years BC,” but “When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth”, opted for Gran Canaria and Fuerteventura for their production locations. “wonderful Life” A 1964 British film made as a vehicle for pop star Cliff Richard and is the third in a series that included “The Young Ones” and “Summer Holiday”. The movie was filmed in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria city, and the “desert” scenes shot on

Maspalomas sand dunes on Gran Canaria. Tenerife Titans The recent big budget remake of the 80’s fantasy classic “Clash Of The Titans” and its sequel “Wrath of the Titans” were of course filmed primarily here in Tenerife using multiple locations such as Los Gigantes for the city of Argos and Teide doubling as Mount Olympus, home of the Gods, the production also filmed in Gran Canaria and Lanzarote. “Fast and Furious 6” The latest big budget movie to film here was of course F&F6 which made use of our still unfinished motorway to film an action set-piece involving a rampaging tank. whale watching With “In The Heart Of The Sea” currently wrapping in La Gomera, it seems apt that the 1956 movie adaptation of Moby Dick, which was inspired by the true events in the original novel, filmed in Gran Canaria. The Future We already know “50 Shades of Grey” is on its way, but what else can we expect? Originally “F&F7” was to be filmed back to back, as the second part of the same story so there’s a possibility the franchise could be back for more, and “Titans” has been approved for a 2nd sequel so Teide may be reprising its role of Mount Olympus. Ridley Scott was circling The Canaries for his epic “Exodus”, however, local bureaucracy got in the way, but, who knows? Things may turn around again. So I guess Tenerife residents and visitors alike will need to continue to get used to having their favourite Hollywood stars filming just around the corner.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


HOUSAnDS of people were in Adeje’s Calle Grande to see the kings, and enjoy a parade and snow!

Their majesties, the Three Kings, arrived by helicopter to Adeje as is the norm in recent years. Thousands of people were in the town’s municipal football stadium to watch them land and receive the magic key to all the homes in the borough from mayor José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga to make sure that all the children in Adeje get their presents. Rodríguez Fraga thanked their majesties “for coming to see us here again to remind us that all our dreams can come true. This is a town in which we are working to guarantee a harmonious and peaceful coexistence where all can live in peace.

There are people here from all corners of the world and we are working together to build a town with a big heart which beats in unison with respect, tolerance and peace.” The town’s first citizen explained to the Kings that “the children of Adeje were very involved in the life of the borough. There are music groups, folk schools, schools of theatre, dance, and all of these help bring out the best in our young people”. To help those in the audience wait for the arrival of the Kings the local cheerleading group, the Tenerife Tigers danced and performed some amazing stunts . A number of comic characters also arrived. After a brief rest the Three Kings took part in the traditional parade up the Calle Grande to the Plaza de España. An added

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014 extra this year was a snow machine which was sprayed from a car taking part in the parade much to the delight of all. Music was provided by a batukada drum group with the participation of students and staff from the Municipal School of Music. Once at the Plaza their Majesties met with children who were able to have their photographs taken with the Royal trio. Among those taking part in the parade were Almegesto Teatro, Teatro KDO, Ballet Beanky, Interludic Canarias, Dixie Band, Angelitos de Ángel, Tenerife Tigers, etc. Shrek and Fiona, Spiderman, Garfield, Pocoyó and friends, clowns, SpongeBob and his pals from Bikini Bottom, Winnie the Pooh, Tiger, Silvester and Tweety Pie, Snow White and the Dwarves and many more also took part.


tHeir maJesties, tHe tHree Kings, in adeJe

photo by Gerard Zenou

The Tigers performed for the crowds before the arrival of the three kings

photos by Gerard Zenou


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

CrYptiC CrossWord

vivo.11177 aCRoSS 8. Vehicles utilised around Crusades (4,4) 9. Captain or kidnapper? (6) 10. Rugby centre left for his 40th anniversary (4) 11. Leap and tumble for a Chinese snack? (6,4) 12. Volkswagen dashboard has some items for discussion (6) 14. Ran back, used oars and became thinner (8)

15. Loan sharks are more confident in America (7) 17. Abandon for Japanese rice wine? (7) 20. Consecrated as priest or deigned to be announced (8) 22. Heard sigh “Key for human soul!” (6) 23. Sodium bicarbonate requested for bay king’s odour! (6,4) 24. Make money when letters are sent from minaret (4) 25. Hover menacingly at devil demise (6) 26. Beginning of shower and prior arrangements (8)

13. Some lunar rat I’ve seen in stories (10) 16. Ned eager to become outlaw (8) 1. Mollifies as wages are declared (8) 18. Iron hook wrought into diamond? (3-1-4) 2. Jittery when concerned with borders? (4) 19. Take a break from road journey (7) 3. Gnaws ear, causing feeling of disgust (6) 21. Provides more guns to bring up 4. Sinatra slips in to see title Russian woman (7) woman’s title? (6) 5. Can Rosie be worked into story line? (8) 22. A hundred Romans dressed in plaid 6. Falsely incite written promise? Crafty! (10) look peaceful (6) 7. Shout of encouragement to Lee who tries to stop 24. Created odd meat diet 4) (4) the ball (6)


av Rafael Puig 7, Playa De las americas arona ( In Front of Hotel Tenerife Sol)

Answers to the CRYPTIC CROSSWORD are on page 2

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

meteor showers in the Canaries in 2014


HE FIRST meteor shower of 2014 will be the Quadrantids, which should be visible best between midnight on Thursday and dawn on Friday. Astronomers say that this shower might be the best of all those we can expect to see this year. The full list of this year’s meteor showers is:


latest 50 shades news

January 3, 2014 Quadrantids april 22, 2014 Lyrids May 5, 2014 Eta Aquarids July 29-30, 2014 Delta Aquarids august 10-13, 2014 Perseids october 7, 2014 Draconids october 21, 2014 Orionids November 4-5, 2014 South Taurids November 11-12, 2014 North Taurids November 17-18, 2014 Leonids December 13-14, 2014 Geminids


no Child left out in A guia de isora

by ore than 150 children in the Guia De Isora area have benefitted from this year’s ‘Give a smile’ campaign to collect toys, which was launched by the local Council in collaboration with the local Traders association and the Guia de Isora branch of the Red Cross.


Councillor Ángeles González explained that “the objective of the campaign was that no child would be left without a gift at Christmas, particularly for those families who are faring the worse in the current difficult economic

situation.” The campaign to collect toys began on November 28 and ended December 19 with over seventy local businesses acting as collection points . “There were a large number of new toys and many in very good condition donated by local people, to which were added contributions from participants in the charity night race held on December 21 in Playa San Juan that was organized by the council Sports Department. We are so grateful for the efforts of all those who have helped to make the campaign a success again this year, thanks to them all our children had at least one toy.” said councillor González.

Brit pensioner arrested


BRITISH pensioner wanted over child sex allegations has been arrested in the Canary Islands after fleeing the Uk using his brother’s passport. Frank Burgon, 76, from Hartlepool was arrested in Gran Canaria after he absconded following his release on bail on charges of rape, attempted rape and three counts of inde-

cent assault against a child. Since his escape, he has been travelling through several countries posing as his older sibling Stanley before settling in Gran Canaria. Spanish police arrested him on Sunday at an apartment in the holiday resort of Puerto Rico after a British neighbour of Burgon’s alerted cops in the UK. He is now set to be prosecuted by Spanish authorities for identity theft.

CCORDInG to unconfirmed reports, the cast of E.L James’ bestselling novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” has started filming in Tenerife. The stars of the movie, Dakota Johnson who plays the role of Anastasia Steele and Jamie Dornan, who plays Christian Grey have already begun the erotic movie adaptation and are currently filming the “honeymoon” scene in Spain, particularly in Tenerife, a full month earlier than expected as cameras were

originally set toroll in mid February on the beaches of Tenerife for honeymoon Scenes involving the main characters Christian and Ana, according to the producer of the film in a statement.

Although no photographic proof that filming in Tenerife has begun, photos have emerged of the erotic books main character’s first screen kiss and an unofficial trailer has been posted online that has been very well received by fans. The movie will also film in Madrid and will feature a cameo by Alessandro Proto, the entrepreneur who inspired the character of Chris-

tian Grey. It was also confirmed that singer Rita Ora will play the sister of Christian Grey. A source recently revealed that the reason for filming in various locations such as Spain and Tenerife would help in making the movie look and feel a lot like what reader’s of E.L James’ book had imagined: “Fifty Shades of Grey producers know they have to make the screen version just as steamy as the novel to make it a success. They can’t turn it into a Disney movie.” Despite mixed and negative reviews, E.L. James’ novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” has sold more than 90 million copies worldwide. The movie is set to be released in the USA on February 13, 2015.

inquiry in this way. It’s really important for a citizen to know they have many rights in case of a road accidents, and some of them are easily defensible

in court if only you act in the right way from the outset” says García González . Any data you submit is stored in the archives of the firm, ready if the client decides to proceed with a complaint but in the event that for whatever reason theydecide not to proceed the information will be destroyed . The firm’s publicity offers to more than double the amount awarded in injury claims on a no win no fee basis.

New No Win No Fee App In Tenerife L by aw firm Accilex Tenerife has created a mobile phone application to facilitate access to legal advice in case of an accident.

The main goal of this utimate “ambulance chaser” app is to “facilitate access to a better legal defense to a greater number of people, because sometimes, their rights are undermined at the time of an accident occuring” explained developer Javier García González. “The app provides basic information such as the location of the nearest health care and the like, but it really draws attention to possible

outcomes. The firm has always used new technologies and social networks to spread the word about the rights that protect people in the event of accidents, with the advent of smartphones the creation of this app is now another platform to access proper legal advice on this matter. Added to this is the fact of having a network of offices throughout Spain who specialize in this field, so anyone from all over the country can make an


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

les miserables Martín I couldn’t wait to buy my tickets. I originally thought I would get them at the box office which opens a couple of hours before performances, then decided it was such a popular show there might be no availability, so back in September / October I went ahead and bit the bullet. I was slightly concerned about purchasing on-line because the website was all in Spanish and I hoped I would understand what was needed, but as it turned out it was extremely easy. I chose mid-price tickets and you

get to select your seats. We were 14 rows from the stage and right on the centre aisle, we couldn´t have had better even if we had paid more. The first two rows are reserved for ‘dignitaries’ and press, the next are the most expensive but IMO being right at the front of the auditorium they are behind the orchestra and are on a level with the stage so you could get a crick in your neck looking up. For anyone who doesn´t know Tenerife’s equivalent of the Sydney Opera House, it is a majestic work of art, beautiful from every angle. Inspired by a Conquistador helmet, a leaping dolphin or perhaps a swooping seabird, it sits on the edge of the ocean and is commanding in its elegance. When the sunlight catches it during the day or the spotlights at night the mosaic rendering glistens and sparkles. It really is a must see building. Naturally it has some of the best acoustics in the world which takes me on to Saturday’s show.

Icod de los Vinos

Santiago del Teide

Plaza del Cristo, s/n, 38640 Plaza General Franco, s/n, Arona. 38300, La Orotava. Tel: 922 725 100 y 922 725 Tel: 922 324 444 - Fax 922 125 - Fax: 922 725 478 334 512

La Orotava

El Sauzal

Granadilla de Abona

El Tanque

by Red Queen’s Musings FIRST saw Les Miserables in London in 1985 it was part of a ‘hen party do’ and since that day I have been captivated by both the music and the story.


The original version that I saw stared Michael Ball as a very young Marius and Alun Armstrong as the cheating crooked innkeeper, Thénardier. I have now seen it several times, so when it was advertised as showing in the Auditorio de Tenerife Adán


C/ Grande 1, 38670, Adeje. Plaza Luis de León Huertas, Tel: 922 756 200 - 922 710 1, 38440, Icod de los Vinos. Tel: 922 869 600 - Fax 922 120 - 922 710 420 869 643


C/ San Francisco, 14, 38600, Granadilla de Abona Tel: 922 759 953 y 922 759 902 - Fax 922 759 965

Guía de Isora

Puerto de la Cruz

C/ Santo Domingo, s/n, 38400, Puerto de la Cruz. Tel: 922 378 400 - Fax 922 375 253

El Rosario

C/ del Ayuntamiento, 4, 38680, Guía de Isora. Tel: 922 850 100 - Fax 922 850 354

Plaza del Ayuntamiento 1, 38290, El Rosario. Tel: 922 297 447 - Fax 922 548 280


Ctra. de Los Abrigos 30, 38620, San Miguel de Abona. Tel: 922 700 000 y 922 700 001 - Fax 922 167 168

Plaza del Ayuntamiento, 4, 38500, Güímar. Tel: 922 526 100 y 922 526 101 - Fax 922 526 102

San Miguel de Abona

C/ la Placeta 10, 38436, Santiago del Teide. Tel: 922 863 127 y 922 863 150 - Fax 922 863 212 C/ La Constitución 3, 38360, El Sauzal. Tel: 922 570 000 y 922 570 24 - Fax 922 570 973 Avda. Príncipes de España 24, 38435, El Tanque. Tel: 922 136 715 y 922 136 623 - Fax 922 136 766


Plaza de San Marcos 1, 38280, Tegueste. Tel: 922 541 799 y 922 541 851 - Fax 922 540 903


C/ Doctor Pérez Cáceres 1, 38613, Vilaflor. Tel 922 709 002 - Fax 922 709 151

Having previously seen the show I was not concerned that it would be in Spanish; in fact I can probably translate word for word the lyrics in all of the songs! However for anyone who doesn’t know the story it could be hard to follow. The scenes are dark, the main characters being lit by spotlights – in fact it was almost an exact replica of other shows. Except on two counts which I thought Santa Cruz did far better than anything I have seen in the UK. Both OH and I thought the scene where Javert throws himself from the bridge really had a Wow factor. As he went over the edge, the backdrop whirled and swirled and you felt you were falling with him. The other scene that I thought was more impressive was where Jean Valjean carries

a wounded Marius through the sewers to escape and you literally travel through various routes under the city. Brilliant. Of course all the actors were first class, from Eponine, my favourite who always gets a pretty raw deal, to the sugary sweet Cosette, the hilarious Monsieur and Madame Thénardier, and even the

children, I swear the little Gavroche sang in Spanish with a cockney accent. The show was totally captivating, the score ranges from the rallying Do You Hear the People Sing and One Day More to the tearjerking On my Own and it wasn´t surprising that it achieved a huge standing ovation.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Adeje Youth Centre Pet Care Course


tHe World Comes to los Cristianos

Part of the ‘Adeje clean and healthy’ campaign

photo by Gerard Zenou.


HE ADEJE Youth Centre is offering a Pet Care course which will run from January 28th to April 29th, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 6pm – 8pm. The course, in Spanish, is being organised by professional pet trainer Juan Carlos Gaspar Abreu, and is part of the extended Adeje Clean and Healthy campaign. According to the councillor in charge of the campaign, Esther Rivero Vargas: “The main aim of the course is that young people learn more about their pets, and their duties and responsibilities, and to give them guidance to ensure that dogs are shown how to behave outside the home. The course has been designed with young people in mind as they spend a lot of time with their pets in public”. Registration for the course is open and taking place in the Adeje Youth Centre. Among the requirements is that owners are over 16 and own a dog. The cost of the course is �60 and students can pay on a monthly basis or the whole amount when they sign up at the beginning of the course. The course is in two phases. The first runs from January 28th until February 20th and is theoretic. During this part of the course participants will learn about dog behaviour, how to interpret their body language, as well as the different characteristics of individual races. In the second part of the theory course the students will be taught

about registration of the dog and their rights and duties as owners. They will also learn about the Adeje Rescue and Care Centre and take part in a visit as well as a workshop with a Vet. The third part of the theory course will be an introduction to pet training, and negative and positive reinforcements, etc. The practical session will run from February 25th to April 29th. During this time the students will learn about civic training: walking, sitting, listening, waiting with particular attention to behaviour in public places. The trainer will evaluate the behavioural problems etc of each dog with the owner. Students will also receive sports training adapted for each dog and owner, and different dog skills.


To take part the owners or carers must ensure that their dog is registered with the council and present the health and registration papers showing that all vaccinations are up to date. If the owner has changed address without letting the pet census office know that must also be done. (The census office is on the second floor of the Adeje council office beside the main post office and the process is quick and easy!) If you have a dog that is listed on the Dangerous Breed list you must be the owner of the dog and have registered the animal in your name, with all the relevant information, in the census office, and on the register of potentially dangerous animals, and present this along with the insurance papers related to the particular breed of dog.

HE CRUISE ship The world, also known as the ship of millionaires, made its first stop last Thursday at the port of Los Cristianos (Tenerife) with 300 passengers on board, and remained anchored until midnight


last Friday when she left for Gran Canaria. The World is a floating community of millionaire passengers who have leased or purchased any of the 165 private apartments that constitute it, and has several pools, restaurants, tennis courts, golf courses, and other services. The ship has twelve decks and construction represented an invest-

ment of $ 380 million. The apartments were sold at a price ranging between 2.5 and 8 million euros excluding travel costs and maintenance. To celebrate this first visit, the president of Ports of Tenerife, Pedro Rodríguez Zaragoza, has delivered a commemorative plaque and local wines to the captain of the ship during a ceremony held on board the ship. While the ship remained in anchorage, cruise pas-

sengers and crew moved ashore in small boats, known as tenders, to spend the day at one of the tourist areas of the island. The World, built in Norwegian shipyards Fosen Mekaniske Verksted, is registered in the Bahamas and was launched in 2008. She weighs 43,000 gross tons, reaching 196 meters long, 30 wide and 6.7 deep. She has twelve decks and has a top speed of 18.5 knots.

lions afternoon of entertainment

ROnA Lions Club International Las Galletas Costa del Silencio will be holding their second Sunday of the month afternoon of entertainment this Sunday 12th January at Dave’s

vivo tea danCe

VIVO will be holding their next two Tea Dances of the season on wednesday 15th January and wednesday 29th January. This time, however, there is a twist! Professional dance teacher Beverley is offering 30 minutes tuition from 1pm, the first half hour is for people who have not danced before, or have two left feet, so

Bar (formerly Zippys) , Costa del Silencio ... near Coral Mar Square. This will take place between 1pm and 5pm with your host and compere from the Lions club , Derrick . Entertainment will be provided by

you can brush up your dance steps before the start, at 1.30pm.

The organisers, Beverley and Carole were delighted to see some new faces last time, and look forward to seeing some more, as well as the regulars. entrance costs just 5,00 euros which includes refreshments and

Gary J , Hugo and Stan Fraser with maybe a few songs from the bars owner Dave G Tracey . Sunday lunch available in the area and at the venue so come early to get good seats . There will be a raffle with numerous prizes and hopefully a fun filled afternoon will be had by all. profits are shared between the Swallows official charity, Cancer Research and the living Room, which offers support to local workers. Numbers are limited, so please call Carole to book your place on 669 152 742 See you there


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

tigers taKe Hotel BY storm

photos by Gerard Zenou


n Saturday 4th January, the Tenerife Tigers Cheer and Dance School from Callao Salvaje, Adeje, entertained the audience at the Hotel Sandos in San Blas, Los Abrigos. Approximately 60 children from the age of 4 to 17 hit the stage to perform routines from both the Dance School and the Cheerleading Teams. The fantastic performances by these children, left the audience asking for more! The Hotel Boss was so impressed he has asked these talented children to make


All services 112 National Police 091 Local police 092 Ambulance 061 Fire Brigade 080 Guardia Civil 062 Citizen information 010 Lost property 092 Postal services 902 197 197 International operator 11825 Local operator 11818 Tourist information 922 605 590

TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofía) Flight info Airport info Tourist info

Multi-lingual police 902 404 704 central office

922 759 000 902 102 112 922 392 037 Call this number and ask for an English operator to make an official report or complaint. Tenerife north

TFn Airport (Los Rodeos) Flight info General info

Local police

902 404 704 922 757 006 922 635 800

Hospitals 094 national Ferry Services Hospital Las Américas,

Armas 902 456 500 Fred Olsen 922 628 252 Cosmos 922 793 802 Thomas Cook 922 757 409 Thomson 922 798 607 Tourist offices TUI 922 777 720 Costa Adeje 922 750 633 El Médano 922 176 002 Transport Buses TITSA La Laguna 922 631 194 922 531 300 La Orotava 922 323 041 The “Bono-Bus” discount card Las Galletas 922 730 133 can be purchased from all TITSA Los Cristianos 922 757 137 stations and terminals and 922 796 668 reduces the cost of transport by Las Américas Las Vistas 922 787 011 up to 30%. Puerto de la Cruz 922 386 000 Santa Cruz 922 289 394 Radio taxis Santiago del Teide 922 860 348 Arona 922 747 511 Main Tourist Office 902 003 121 Adeje 922 715 407

Tour operators

regular performances at the hotel! The Children performed various routines including, Ballet Classic, Ballet Pointe, Modern Jazz, Acrobatic, Tap and of course Cheerleading. The children of Lets Dance have already achieved great success in various competitions held in the UK, Wales and Madrid and are due to return once again to a competition in March in the UK. Their dance studio in Callao Salvaje is full of Trophies already and I am sure they will be returning with even more to decorate the walls of the dance school.

Playa de Las Américas 922 750 022

Playa de las Américas Centro Médicos Del Sur 922 791 000 Candelaria Hospital 922 602 000

Red Cross

Emergencies and ambulances 922 281 800

Pharmacy 922 282 424


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


live arico news

Just when we thought we were all spent up, we now have a chance to spend a little more! Tenerife’s winter sales will start on Tuesday 7 January and last until 6 March and hopefully there will be lots of bargains to be had.


HE LIVE Arico Christmas Party

It’s Festival Internacional de Música de Arona (FIMA) time again, and the dates for 2014´s festival have been announced as 16 February-8 March.

19th II Media Maratón de Montaña La Guancha enjoy the spectacular scenery and landscapes that the northern municipality offers in this 23.65 Km race Forest Park offers more than 90 activities for all the family a milestone in adventure parks. Enjoy sliding down zip jump Tibetan bridges, walkways and other games of skill. 10 minutes from Puerto de la Cruz and La Laguna for more information call 922246261 or 645968239 or

....was a huge success!! Apart from having an awesome evening, we raised 1020 euro on the Top square, Golf del Sur on 28th December. Entertainment, hosted by Suzy q, was provided by Live Arico vice president Kerry Railton, Colin Stevens, Caroline from the Emerald Lounge, Alfie B, and Micky Glamz. It was like New Year’ s Eve with not a seat to be had. As always, the business owners and staff did their bit, and Riverdance #2 was a blast, with Caroline and Stella holding key positions as the ever enthusiastic Suzy q did her best, with new comer Michael Flatulence (Colin Stevens) providing fancy footwork, leather pants and a spectacular blonde wig for the occasion. Then it was time for the Superheroes!!! In full costume, Dave Slippers,

Howard Owen and the one and only Sean Wren stole the show – it had to be seen to be believed!! Jackie from Ashro Autos and Wendy from Cats Welfare sold a mountain of raffle tickets in their retro gear, and many prizes were donated by Digs 4 Dogs, Claires Grooming, Revs Motors, Debbie Gilbey, Ashro Autos and Mrs Jean Blake; as well as some 40 bottles of wine collected by Slippers Bar over the past months. Can we better it at Easter? Well, it won’t be easy but we will do it, we always do. Many many thanks to all who supported the event, you made our year!!! Don´t forget the oldies. Sadly, over the past few days we have taken in several dogs of 10 years old or more, which is a crying shame. One wonders whether a Christmas

Private Investment May Be The Answer For Ring Road


RECEnT report has concluded that the El Tanque -Santiago del Teide section of the still-under-construction island ring road is ” socially profitable ” because it would boost the economy of the regions in the northwest. According to the study, commissioned by the Tenerife Cabildo, completion of this stretch would save 270 million euros a year

puppy has taken the place of a senior member of the family, simply cast aside with the wrapping paper. A 12 year old Yorkie came to us via the police of San Miguel who is now thankfully adopted; a 10 year old blind schitzu was abandoned in Granadilla to fend for himself and an 11 year old poodle cross found by one of our customers and her dogs in a deep ditch, infested with parasites, maggots and fur so matted she could barely walk. The latter two are being fostered but efforts to locate their ”owners” are proving fruitless. Please consider taking care of an old dog. Imagine how the above three must have felt, in family homes their whole lives only to find themselves alone and unloved. Abandoning any dog is unforgivable, but at this age it is a heartbreaking crime.

in transportation costs of both people and goods and reduce the emission of at least 1,700 tonnes of CO2 into the atmosphere. The section is 10.8 kilometers long with a budget estimated at 382.1 million euros and a three year construction period. If put out to tender in 2014 it would be operational in 2018. The president of the Cabildo , Carlos Alonso, says the completion of the island ring road is ” a priority for the Cabildo” and went on to explain they will be forwarding the results of the report to the State government Minister of Public Works in the hope that this will help secure that the next state funding for investment in roads Tenerife is allocated for the construction of the El Tanque – Santiago del Teide section . Users of this route daily currently take 180 minutes to travel the 198 km round trip. With the construction of the planned route, travelling time would be reduced to 47 minutes each way and the distance reduced to 65km. The obvious benefits to road users could mean that an alternative private funding method set out in the report may be the

We normally charge an adoption fee of 110 - 140 euro for younger healthy dogs but can be far more flexible with the over 10´s and can even offer ongoing vet care. Please contact us if you can help and would like to explore the possibility further. Thank you. Please, if you have QUALITY unwanted clothes, cds, dvds, shoes, household items or childrens clothing, call Siobhan now on 630 857626. And do come and see us, we have shops in Los Cristianos, Calle Revron near Churchills Bar, and San Eugenio opposite Hotel La Nina by Amandas bar at las Carabelas complex. Both shops open from 10 – 4 Monday to Friday, and until 2pm Saturday. Kel even opens the Los Cristianos shop on Sundays.... Come and have a browse, bag a bargain and help the animals..

best option for actually getting the road into use. In this part of the report a solution is explained where a private company undertakes the construction in exchange for a 40year concession and then charges a special kind of toll to travel on the road. Under this “shadow toll” system, the private company is also responsible for obtaining the financial resources to pay, not just for the construction of the work, but also to fund maintenance costs. The difference from a normal toll road system is that it is the government that pays the private company the toll amounts annually according to usage levels of the road, not the road user themselves.



Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

“Why tenerife” local taxes in tenerife showcased in paris A


enerife recently showed off its incentives for foreign companies at a themed presentation in Paris designed to attract investment on the island.

Through the brand “Why Tenerife?”the island government intends to increase the number of foreign investments either through companies who choose Tenerife as a location or simply operate from the islandsays cabinet chief to the President of Tenerife, Elsa Casas Cabello. Casas has argued that Tenerife is an ideal business location due to attractions like geographical location, international connectivity, infrastructures which meet European standards, human resources plus a very competitive tax system, all of which have prompted that 37 percent of the investment in the island today comes from abroad. Casas reveals that Tenerife has “one of the most attractive tax systems in Europe “but there is no risk of it becoming a tax haven because it is overseen by the European Commission. Steering well away from the holiday island clichés, Casas stressesthat Tenerife is “apt for businesses of all kinds” and she highlights the “powerful network of telecommunications infrastructures” that make the island particularly interesting for these companies such as French giant Atos, which has already set up there. As for telecommunications, Casas highlights

the Alix project, which she classes as “an integrated project” involving the development of six submarine cables that connect to the European, African and American continents and are already operational. Alix also has a neutral access point to internet (NAP) for all telecommunications operations, a data centre that already has 5,000 square metres operational for data storage, a fibre optics network which internally connects the entire island and the huge supercomputer Teide. For more information: www.whytenerife. com

by nother year and Parking permits – Vados still dreaded Each municipality sets up a taxes to pay so Tax Calendar giving due dates this article may make for voluntary payments. Any payments made outside of life a little easier for the voluntary period will incur some. additional charges. You can There are various types of local taxes all of which are dealt with by the corresponding tax office for each municipality ‘Consorcio de Tributos’ in Spanish. Although the tax system can seem daunting and confusing to many, once you start setting things up, it is quite straight forward. The most common taxes are the following: Housing tax – Impuesto Sobre Bienes Inmuebles (IBI) This payment is based on the value of the property and varies according to rates of inflation and location. Household/business waste disposal tax – Tasa de Basura Vehicle road tax – Impuesto sobre vehículos de tracción mécanica The payment is made in two instalments.

set up a direct debit or wait for the tax bill to be sent to you at your home address. Payment can be made in most banks or if y o u prefer


c a n p a y online with a credit/debit card on the following link, providing you are still within the voluntary period. On Line Payment

Below is an example of a Tax Calendar for the Adeje Council for this year, there may be slight alterations within other councils, but generally they all follow the same pattern. 1st Voluntary Payments – From 1st of May to 22nd of July - IBI Urban areas /Housing tax - IBI Rural areas/Housing tax - Tasa de Basura/ Waste disposal tax (1st payment) - Impuesto sobre vehículos/Vehicle road tax 2nd Voluntary Payments – From 1st September to 20th of November - Tasa de Basura/ Waste disposal tax (2nd Payment) - Vados/Parking permits If you do set up a direct debit for your car tax, always make sure that you cancel the payment with your bank after selling a car. Source Tenerife Forum.Org.ES As an addition to the above it was announced by the mayor of Adeje on Friday December 27th that there will be “No Local Tax Rises In 2014.

community administration Hestria is a professional company with more than 10 years' experience in conducting the administration of communities which are situated in the south of Tenerife. The staff of the company consists of 4 people, all speaking more than 1 language. Together we speak the following languages: Spanish, English, Dutch, French and German.

We know that transparency is very important. We therefore offer the owners in our communities complete access to the information of their community through our website. On the 24 hour office you can find the announcements of the General Meetings, the minutes, a monthly survey of the income and expenses of the community, see the state of your personal payments of the community fees, internal rules and/or the statutes, insurance policy, etc. In fact, anything you need to know as an owner.

The financial situation of the community has improved significantly since Hestria took over the administration of our complex, with a strong reduction of debtors.

Hestria is a professional company. They always respond immediately to any questions or issues that arise and they look at all viable options, keeping in mind price and quality.

They also publish the community accounts on their website, so nobody has to wonder how the community money is spent.

I would highly recommend Hestria to others!

Robert Hobbs, President Tagoro Park Costa del Silencio

Jim Halliday, President Villas del Duque Fañabe (Adeje)

For more info: Hestria Administración de Fincas, S.L. Avda. Rafael Puig Llivina, 19 Centro Comercial City Center, local 23 38660 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 795 613 Fax: 922 789 820 E-mail:


he Island Government is urging caution and requests the public not to try to enter the national Park via footpaths or tracks because it is dangerous and affects the work of the snow ploughs

Tenerife Government (Cabildo de Tenerife) has closed all access roads to the Teide National Park due to snow and ice in the wake of the storm which hit the western islands in the early hours of today Thursday.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

The weather forecast predicts the low temperatures will prevail in higher ground and further snow is expected in the mountains. The Cabildo is urging citizens not to try to access the Teide National Park on foot or via forest tracks and strongly recommends caution due to the dangers. The public is also advised not to attempt to enter the Park to enable the snow ploughs to do their work. The Cabildo de Tenerife has cut the following roads: The TF 21 road to Teide via La Orotava to is

Wild Seas


Cabildo closes access roads to teide

cut from km 24 at Casa Ramón Caminero to km 64 at Vilaflor while the southern access road TF 38 via Chío is cut at km 10. The TF 24 road to Teide via La Esperanza is still closed for emergency works to repair the damage from landslides and holes caused by the last storm a few weeks ago from km 24 with the junction of the TF 523 to Arafo Los Loros until km 43 at the El Portillo junction of the TF 21 and TF 24. Also, emergency works continue on the TF 616 (Punta Prieta) at km 2, which has been

closed since the rain storm in December. The TF 51 Vilaflor-La Escalona road has been reopened. Earlier today there was sheet ice on the road. The Teide cable car is not operative today Thursday. At dawn today landslides occurred in Anaga on the TF- 12 road between El Bailadero and Chamorga but the road was operational early this morning. More information (in Spanish):




have no idea how, or even whether, this is connected with the wild seas battering the Uk which are themselves said to be connected to the “polar vortex” threatening the USA, but Aemet has issued a warning of huge waves here in the Canaries too. There is a yellow or orange alert for the entire Canarian

coastline this weekend – in Tenerife the orange alert is for the north coast where waves of up to six metres are forecast. The alerts started at 3pm last Tuesday. The Canarian government has issued an advice document to the public to stay safe, which basically boils down to “don’t go near the coast”.


’VE POSTED before about the Canarian government’s “upmarket tourism” drive, and how part of this is directed to niche markets, whether walking, windsurfing, gastronomy, and the like. I’ve also mentioned astrotourism, which Tenerife understandably places in high priority because of the observatories here and in La Palma, and the wonderfully clear night sky. now, Tenerife’s own tourism authorities have scored a huge victory, with the Cabildo designated as

by leader of the “EU Sky Route”, a European project to create astrotourism in different parts of Europe particularly suited to study of the night sky. The Cabildo says that it will head a group of seven other authorities located in Poland, Italy (2 members), Portugal, Bulgaria, Greece and Spain (Catalonia and Extremadura). Tenerife president Carlos Alonso said that taking part in such a pioneering project would bring many new opportunities for Tenerife’s tourism, and therefore for Tenerife’s economy and employment prospects generally. President Alonso stressed that Tenerife’s night

sky was of an incredible internationallyrenowned clarity and quality, and offered unique advantages which would benefit tourism, and allow an expansion into the government’s “niche markets”, an alternative to Tenerife’s traditional “sun and sand” holidays. Brussels will be funding the project, and it will involve not only tourism or astronomical authorities, but also social and economic businesses and institutions. The first meeting of the project will be held in Tenerife at the end of this month to start to establish the different activities which can be developed to create “astronomy routes”. The scheme is expected to be fully in place within 18 months.

CHalleNGING Puzzle

eaSY Puzzle


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

SUDOkU every Sudoku has a unique solution that can be reached logically.

enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row, column and 3 x 3 box contains the numbers 1 to 9.

Answers to the SUDOkU are on page 2.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


You Can Keep it!

Police in Spain arrested on Sunday a man suspected of belonging to an Al-Qaeda linked terror organization and participating in the Syrian conflict.The suspect, named by the Spanish Interior Ministry as Abdeluahid Sadik Mohammad, was nabbed at Malaga airport in southern Spain after arriving on a flight bound from Istanbul. He is suspected of having trained in a camp belonging to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant jihadist rebel group. One of Britain’s most wanted criminals, who was thought to be on the run in Spain, has been arrested in Greater Manchester.Lee Willis, 30, from Ashton-under-Lyne was detained in Bolton on Wednesday, police have confirmed. In November, he was named as one of Britain’s 13 most wanted fugitives by the National Crime Agency. He was due to be sentenced in court in June, after admitting possessing drugs, but failed to show up.He had pleaded guilty to possessing cocaine and cannabis but fled prior to his sentencing at Minshull Street Crown Court and a warrant was issued for his arrest.He was also accused of dealing cocaine and his profile was highlighted as part of Operation Captura, a project to track down criminals thought to be in Spain. The Euro is trading firmer against the Pound on Monday following the release of services purchasing managers index data which showed that Spain’s service sector expanded at its fastest pace in six-and-a-half years. Spain expanded to 54.2 in December, up from the 51.5 recorded in November and better than economic forecasts. The rise was the second straight increase in two months. Any figure above 50 indicates expansion, whereas a figure below marks contraction. The positive Spanish data went some to allaying concerns generated by France and Germany whose PMI’s both saw a slight decline in December. Spanish officials said mild earthquakes in the Gulf of Valencia may have been caused by drilling from a platform that was shut down after a September quake. A magnitude 2.3 earthquake struck early Friday, one day after a magnitude 2 quake hit, the National Geographic Institute said. The government has connected the tremors to a Castor oil drilling platform, which was shut down by Spain’s minister of industry Jose Manuel Soria soon after the first earthquake struck in September. Although relatively mild, six earthquakes occurred in December. The drilling suspected of causing the tremors is 1-1.2 miles under the seabed in the Gulf of Valencia near a pocket of gas that had the potential to produce enough electricity to last the province of Valencia for 50 days. A two vehicle crash in heavy hail near Pontevedra resulted in a chain of collisions including a car smashing into a Guardia Civil vehicle at the scene.Two vehicles had collided on the A-52 on the border of the provinces of Pontevedra and Ourense where hail storms were recorded. That collision resulted in the occupants of both vehicles suffering minor injuries.A Guardia Civil patrol attended the scene and officers were taking statements in the back of their multi-purpose, van like vehicle. A car travelling along the same road then crashed into the Guardia Civil vehicle, in which the original injured victims and officers were. As a result two officers were also slightly injured by the impact, one of whom was transferred to a medical centre for attention. A search operation has been launched off Spain’s northwest coast after three people from the same family were swept out to the sea by a huge wave. A man, two of his daughters and his brother were engulfed by the wave as they walked near the rocky shoreline in Valdovino, Galicia. One daughter managed to scramble back to the shore and was taken to hospital. It comes as severe storms batter Europe’s Atlantic coastlines. Local Mayor Jose Antonio Vigo said the search for the three still missing was being supported by a ship and an aircraft from a rescue centre based at A Coruna. He said the search effort was being hampered by the stormy conditions with waves 10m (32ft) high and winds of 80km/h (50mph) . “The sea is so upset that there is only foam,” he said. “It will be very difficult to see anything down there.” The mayor said that those missing were local people who had probably gone to the shore to watch the huge waves.



ETAILS OF a meeting which were released last week by the national Archives revealed that back in the eighties, king Juan Carlos of Spain who is still on the throne today, told Britain he “did not really want” Gibraltar, as such an action would lead to Morocco calling for the return of Ceuta and Melilla.

The ruler, according to government papers dating back 30 years, made the admission in a confidential meeting with Britain’s Ambassador to Spain, Sir Richard Parsons, in 1983, when Spain’s then-foreign minister Fernando Morán called for “confidential talks” over Gibraltar. UK-Spain relations were frosty at the time with Britain threatening to block Madrid’s application to join the EEC

unless border restrictions against Gibraltar were lifted. General Franco had completely closed the border in 1969, and it was only partially reopened in 1982. Dated July 21st 1983, the confidential note reads: “The King emphasised, as he had done with me before, that the requirement was to take some step over Gibraltar which would keep public opinion quiet for the time being. It should be clearly understood in private by both governments that in fact Spain did not really seek an early solution to the sovereignty problem. If she recovered Gibraltar, King Hassan of Morocco would immediately activate his claim to Ceuta and Melilla. The two foreign ministers should reach a private understanding between each other, differentiating between their actual aim and the methods used to propitiate public opinion on both sides.”

Another note from Ambassador Parsons addressed to the Foreign Secretary Geoffrey Howe said: “Moran said (as the King had done yesterday) that he was more than ever convinced that there should be early confidential talks between you and him. It is perhaps no bad thing that Spanish public opinion, as well as the Spanish government, have begun to understand that the principal aim of Spanish foreign policy, entry into the community, could be shipwrecked on the Rock of Gibraltar.” Spain eventually opened up the border with Gibraltar completely in 1985, prior to joining the EEC in 1986. However, relations between Spain and the UK over Gibraltar have deteriorated in the past 12 months, when Spain imposed strict border checks last summer, leading to queues of up to eight hours for people trying to cross the frontier.

Rise Of The Exorcists T HE ROMAn Catholic Church is training up a new generation of priests to meet the growing demand for exorcisms. Dioceses across Italy and many in Spain, are training more and more priests to administer the rite of exorcism, believed to cure people of demonic possession.

And it goes right to the top, in May it was claimed that Pope Francis had performed an exorcism during a Mass in St Peter’s Square The Catholic Church believe the rise in demonic cases is a result of an increase in practices such as black magic, paganism, Satanic rites and Ouija boards, and a wealth of information on the dark arts, readily found on the internet, The Church is also attempting to put unauthorised, self-proclaimed exorcists out of business.

In Spain, Antonio Maria Rouco Varela, the archbishop of Madrid, chose eight priests to undergo special training in May to confront what he described as “an unprecedented rise” in cases of “demonic possession”. The Church in Spain was coming across many cases that “go beyond the competence of psychologists” and they were occurring with “a striking frequency”, the archbishop said. Fr Francesco Bamonte, the president of the Italybased International Association for Exorcists said: “Diabolical possessions are on the increase as a result of people subscribing to occultism. The few exorcists that we have in the dioceses are often not able to handle the enormous number of requests

for help,” The Church insists that the majority of people who claim to be possessed by the Devil are suffering from a variety of mental health issues, from paranoia to depression. Priests generally advise them to seek medical help. Fr Vincenzio Taraborelli says: “The need for exorcisms is rare, very rare. In the cases where a mental illness is apparent, we try to send them to a doctor.” Don Gianni Sini a priest in Sardinia said: “People come to me thinking that with an exorcism they can resolve all the problems they have in their

lives. A child is doing badly at school? With an exorcism we can make him study. They see exorcists as a last resort. Out of 100 people that I receive, there will be one who has need of me as an exorcist.” Pope Francis has not publicly commented on exorcisms, but many of his sermons and homilies feature references to the Devil. During a Mass in November in the Casa Santa Marta, the Vatican residence where he lives, he said that although “God created man to be incorruptible”, the Devil entered the world and there are those “who belong to him”.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

fiestas to tHroW stuff at!


part from the friendly locals, cultural tours and unbelievable sights to see, one thing that Spain does particularly well is throw a party, and for those who don’t mind getting a little messy the best thing about some of these festivals is that they often involve

lots of drunken people throwing stuff!

la Tomatina Started as a protest in 1945, in a town called Bunol near Valencia, every last Wednesday of August, the people literally paint the town red, with tomatoes. La Tomatina Festival is flocked to by tourists from around the world. Numbers have become so huge the town au-








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thorities have limited tickets to 20,000. els enfarinats Flour and eggs are usually for baking but the people of the town of Ibi, Alicante throw them at each other, while wearing combat gear. Every December 28 of the year, people gather to celebrate the Day of the Innocent with the use of flour bombs and eggs and lots of fireworks. It’s a 200-year old tradition that’s attracts people from the world over.

Batalla de Ratas El Puig, just north of Valencia on the last Sunday of January, locals gather to bash their own version of piñadas called cucañas where goodies include fruits, nuts... and dead rats. Back in the days, the cucañas were only filled with natural goodies and rats were able to find a way to get inside them to consume the treats before people can even begin the festivity. Now, locals decided to include these dead rodents in the celebration!

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


n SPAIn, on 2nd January, they celebrate 1492 and the definitive completion of the Reconquista. In Morocco, descendants of the inhabitants of Granada remember the same event by flying black flags of mourning. On 2 January 1492, at the fabled walled city of Granada, Muhammad XII handed the city’s keys over to King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain. As he looked back from a mountain peak now known as el ultimo suspiro del moro (the moor’s last sigh), Muhammad wept for Al-Andalus, the 781year old Islamic state he had lost forever. Muslim forces first landed in southern Spain in AD 711 when the Berber general Tariq ibn Ziyad led his armies north from Morocco. Islamic rule in the early 700s brought prosperity in the form of agriculture and mining. Commerce with North Africa boomed and luxuries such as silk-worms were introduced, along with never-beforeseen crops like apricots, almonds, rice, and sugarcane. The new wealth it all generated allowed the creation of some of the most striking buildings of medieval Europe, like the Alhambra in Granada, widely recognised as one of the planet’s most beautiful palaces Seven hundred and eighty one years is more than three times longer than the United States of America has existed and in those eight centuries, many words seeped into European languages from Arabic, with a strong showing in science, the military, and foods — admiral, alcohol, apricot, arsenal, calipers, candy, chemistry, coffee, guitar, jar, jumper, lemon, magazine, mummy, sequin, sofa, spinach, sugar, talisman, and zero. Not to mention the most Spanish of all exclamations: Olé! The medieval Muslims mapped the sky, leaving our modern museums with hundreds of beautiful and intricately built astrolabes They also wrote the language of the stars, naming hundreds of heavenly bodies — most famously Betelgeuse, (at least, famous to readers of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy). They also brought back Aristotle. Aristotle may sound largely irrelevant today. But to 12th-century Europeans, he was the most exciting thing to hit their scriptorium desks for centuries The West had lost almost all copies of the works of the Greek philosopher, but the Arabs had not. The “discovery” of so many works of Aristotle shook Christendom and the cathedral schools and emerging universities of Europe fell madly in love with

the anniversary of the fall of moorish spain the pagan philosopher. But It wasn’t all an ancient paradise, the invasion in 711 had been violent and bloodsoaked, and the conquered people, Christians and Jews, became second-class citizens. For most of the period 711–1492, the three faiths rubbed shoulders, but they did not really come to understand each other any better, the tragedy of al-Andalus is that, when all is said and done,

Nuns Miss Bosses Call!


GROUP of nuns in Spain got a new Year surprise when they checked their answerphone machine to discover they had missed a call from the Pope, who left a message asking why they didn’t pick up. Pope Francis, who left the message on New Year’s Eve for the Barefoot Carmelites of Lucena, said through his chuckling: “What can the nuns be doing that stops them from answering the phone? This is Pope Francis,I wanted to give you New Year’s greetings. I’ll see if I can reach you later. God bless you.” The prioress of the convent, Sister Adri-


ana, said the Pope was an old friend of some of the nuns in their group, who, like him, come from Argentina, she and the four other nuns were busy at their midday prayers. Adriana said: “When my duties allowed me to go to the phone, I literally wanted to die, I took down the message and passed it on to the other nuns. We told ourselves we had just been fulfilling our duty of prayer. We never thought the Pope would remember us.” After frantically calling a bishop and other contacts to try and return the call to the Vatican, without success, Francis called back and managed to talk to the nuns in the evening.

the three cultures largely failed to grow in understanding or appreciation of each other. None seemed interested in looking beyond its own internal concerns. A 40-year-old Italian sailor stood watching the handover of Granada in 1492, he walked away and into history. His name was Christopher Columbus, and later the same year he set out west on his first voyage...and a New World.

the Board game is Back!


FTER two mediocre Christmas seasons, Alicante province’s toy manufacturers are smiling again, as classic toys make a comeback. selling well and holding their own against electronics and gift vouchers. Jose Antonio Pastor, president of the Spanish Association of Toy Manufacturers said: “We have to live w i t h technologi-

cal games, a child imitates lifestyles through play, hence the demand for tablets, interactive games and computers. They see adults using them and want them too. Toys like dolls that are popular with manufacturers and distributors, like dolls, will always be on the shelves. But traditional board games, remote-controlled toys and construction sets are the nucleus of the Spanish sector.”

Although Christmas has become more popular in recent years for

Spanish people, children still get most of their presents for Reyes, the Three Kings holiday on January 6. Pastor added: “Sixty per cent of the public wait until the last two weeks of the holiday before buying presents and they give them at Reyes, even in the smallest town there is a Three Kings parade; it would be hard to return home to find there were no presents.”


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Bamboo towels & sheets THEY are brand new to Tenerife; in fact, they are brand new to anywhere! You may not have heard of Bamboo towels or sheets before, but they are here and they are fabulous. Take an opportunity to discover the benefits of having bamboo bath towels. Picture yourself getting out of the bath or shower and wrapping yourself in pure heaven, in possibly the softest bath towel ever. Bamboo towels allow you to dry yourself off quickly due to their premium absorbent properties while also giving you the luxurious feeling of the softest fabric you have ever felt against your body. Imagine sleeping on pure heaven, now you can with the amazing Bamboo sheets that are now also available in a selection of different colours. Experience the ultimate in sleep comfort. Pure cotton can often feel a bit rough to the touch; not only will you find that the towels are exceptionally soft and absorbent, but you will also find that they are durable for everyday use. They are also perfect for people who want to maintain a hygienic environment, because they

are naturally odour resistant due to the fibres fast-drying characteristics. So say goodbye to that disgusting mildew smell you get from other towels from time to time, and bathe in serenity. Bamboo fabric is created from the bamboo pulp and is 100% biodegradable. It is also anti-bacterial and hypoallergenic; bamboo is naturally antibacterial and resists mould, mildew, fungi and dust mites. These properties remain intact, making it suitable for those with eczema, hyper-sensitive skin or hay fever caused by dust mite. Even better news is that bamboo fabric require less frequent washing, it needs no more than a 30ËšC wash and dries in half the time of cotton. Tumble dry low and remove from dryer as soon as it stops to avoid unnecessary creasing. The only place that actually stocks these delicious items is Antiquities Tenerife in Las Chafiras. The have stock in three different colours, soft brown, grey and aubergine. Pop in and see them and feel the difference for yourself.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


now You Can World’s most Complicated phone during face transplant take D off P

ioneering the use of electronic devices in flight, Spain has become one of the first countries to apply the European Commission’s new rules allowing the use such items during all phases of flight, including take-off and landing.

The European Aviation Safety Authority (EASA) gave its approval for use of personal electronic devices such as mobile phones, ebook readers, tablets and portable games consoles throughout the duration of the flight in November 2013, specifying that mobiles would need to be put into flight-safe mode. The new rules were approved by Spain’s civil aviation authority and published on 09th January, with airlines able to implement them from 10th January. Larger electronic devices, such as laptop computers, will still need to be stowed during taxiing, take-off and landing due to their bulk causing potential injury should the aircraft encounter problems Easa has stated that it recognised the wide proliferation of personal electronic devices and the wish of the travelling public to use them everywhere, and confirmed that it was looking at new ways to certify the use of mobile phones on aircraft without needing them to be put into a However, in accordance with the EASA’s recommendations, flight-safe mode.

OCTORS in Spain are preparing to carry out the world’s most complicated full face transplant. A team of around 50 health workers will take part in the high-risk op, expected to take place at Barcelona’s Vall d Hebron Hospital.

Former stock exchange worker,Luis Casaramona, 44, who suffers from a rare arterio-venous malformation which causes his blood vessels to swell and haemorrhage, will get new jawbones, lips, ears, hair, teeth, tongue, muscles and nerves as well as a new face once a donor is found. Medics have likened the surgery to a head transplant because the only body parts he will keep from the bottom of his neck upwards will be his eyes, brain, part of his skull and some nerve endings. The father of one said:

prinCess Cristina CHarged A

Spanish judge has charged Princess Cristina the younger daughter of king Juan Carlos with tax fraud and money laundering. After a lengthy investigation, Palma de Mallorca Examining Magistrate Jose Castro said in a 200page ruling there was evidence that Cristina, 48, had committed crimes and summoned her to appear in court on March 8, which could lead to an

unprecedented trial of a member of the royal family.

Former Olympic handball player Inaki Urdangarin, who is married to the Princess, has been charged with fraud, tax evasion, falsifying documents and, through his charitable foundation, the embezzlement of 6 million in public funds. Public opinion of the royal family is at its lowest ever with83 percent of Spaniards thinking that the royal family has mishandled the Urdangarin case and an unprecedented 62 percent

“I have to do something. The operation will give me my life back if it works. And if I die at least I will go down fighting.” Joan Pere Barret, who carried out the world’s first full face transplant, is help-

said, ‘He’s not looking for a face, he wants a new head’.” Barcelona-born Luis is being supported by his Mexican wife Serena, 38, and their 11-year-old daughter Frida while he waits for a donor to be found.

They’ll Have

T wanting King Juan Carlos to abdicate, according to recent polls. While under investigation, the couple have ceased to participate in public appearances. She and their four children moved last year to Geneva where she works for a Spanish bank’s charity. Urdangarin remains in Spain. The case is centered on Urdangarin’s non-profit Noos Foundation. He is accused of using his powerful connections to win public contracts to put on events in Mallorca and elsewhere in Spain. They both deny the charges against them.

ing Luis find a donor so the pioneering op can take place said: “Nothing like this has ever been done before. When I described Luis’ case to the woman in charge of processing hospital transplants, she


wO wOMEn have been arrested after they attempted to smuggle cocaine into Spain under their wigs. The suspects, Portuguese women aged 18 and 28, were arrested after arriving at Madrid-Barajas Airport on two separate flights from Sao Paulo last week with a combined 5.2 pounds of cocaine. Both allegedly carried the narcotics under fake hair, which had been sewn onto a black plastic cap which they taped to their head to hide the drugs. Each carried 2.6 pounds in six smaller packages. A police spokesman said the method was; “very difficult to de-

tect given the realism of the fake hair. The packages were perfectly adhered and

did not stick out from under the wigs, which made the narcotics imperceptible.”


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Black Hawk down


US helicopter has crashed during routine low-level flying exercise over the norfolk coast, leaving four servicemen dead. The U.S. military helicopter crashed on a coastal nature reserve in north norfolk on Tuesday night, killing the four crew members on board.

The aircraft, which specialises in recovering troops from war zones from the American air force base at RAF Lakenheath, Suffolk, was out on a routine low-level flying exercise with a second helicopter, when it fell from the sky. Investigators are inspecting the wreckage of the HH-60G Pave Hawk from the 48th Fighter Wing, which still contains the bodies of the unnamed dead. The second Pave Hawk also out landed at the scene. Residents of Cley-next-theSea heard a ‘heavy and very unusual’ sound overhead as the helicopter plummeted into flooded marshland. Police confirmed it was carrying live ammunition and have set up a 400 metre cordon around the site

to protect the public. A 1,200ft (400m) area is cordoned off and the A149 through Cley is closed. Ch Supt Bob Scully, from Norfolk Police, said: “The crash site is about the size of a football pitch, with difficult terrain which makes this a challenging and lengthy process. This is mainly on marshland although some debris which was close to the beach has been moved as it would be vulnerable to high tide. Further close examinations of the scene will take place this morning and the bodies of the deceased will be removed once this has taken place. The helicopter was carrying ammunition this was in the form of bullets which are scattered across the site, which is why the restrictions are necessary. We must undertake this investigation and recovery operation in a careful and methodical way so we can provide answers as to why this crash happened. For reasons of safety it is essential that members of the public adhere to the cordon.” He described the scene has “hazardous” and said walking and bird-watching in the area would be restricted until the marshland was safe.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014




hite van man Rick Minns is using his vehicle to create works of art on his dirty vehicle. Rick, or Ruddy Muddy as he is also known has created a series of images out of the mud collected on the panels of his work van, including winter landscapes, children playing in the snow and a ship

on high seas.

The 39-year-old driver, who works for Norfolk-based floral wholesaler Flowervision, has an A-level in art and attends adult classes, creates his masterpieces by scraping away the dirt on the side of his van, he said: ‘It just started as a bit of fun while I was at work, we have six vans. Two of the guys keep their nice and clean but I draw on the others. The reaction I get is great – it’s just nice to see the smile on people’s faces when they notice. It’s always a

shame to wipe away a picture I’m proud of, then again it’s nice to start afresh – it’s just frustrating waiting for the van to get dirty enough.’ Each piece of art takes around 10 minutes to create and every few days Mr Minns wipes the van down to create a fresh canvas, the fatherof-three from South Norfolk posts pictures of his art, which he has named “Grafilthy,” on social media and said he wants to find a way of raising money for charity through his hobby.


HIS Thursday, 95 years ago on January 16th 1919, The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, prohibiting the “manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors for beverage purposes,” became the law of the land in America.

Concern over excessive alcohol consumption began during the American colonial era, when fines were imposed for drunken behavior and for selling liquor without a license. In the eighteenth century, when drinking was a part of everyday American life, Protestant religious groups, especially the Methodists, and health reformers urged Americans to curb their drinking habits for moral and health reasons. By the late 19th century, these groups had become a powerful political force, campaigning on the state level and calling for total national abstinence. In December 1917, the 18th Amendment, also known as

the Prohibition Amendment, was passed by Congress and took effect in January 1919. The Volstead Act provided for the enforcement of prohibition, including the creation of a special unit of the Treasury Department. Despite a vigorous effort by law-enforcement agencies, the Volstead Act failed to prevent the large-scale distribution of alcoholic beverages, and organized crime flourished in America. Al Capone was the most notorious gangster of his generation. By 1927, Capone and his gang were pulling in approximately $60 million per year- most of it from beer. Capone not only controlled the sale of liquor to over 10,000 speakeasies, but he also controlled the supply from Canada to Florida. Capone was imprisoned for tax violations and died January 25, 1947, from heart attack and pneumonia. Large quantities of alcohol were smuggled into the United States from Canada, over land, by sea routes along both ocean coasts, and through the Great


Lakes. While the federal government cracked down on alcohol consumption on land within the United States, it was a different story along the U.S. coastlines, where vessels outside the 3-mile limit were exempt. In addition, home brewing was popular during Prohibition. Malt and hops stores popped up across the country and some former breweries turned to selling malt extract syrup, ostensibly for baking and beverage purposes. Prohibition became increasingly unpopular during the Great Depression. Some believe that the demand for increased employment and tax revenues during this time brought an end to Prohibition. Others argue it was the result the economic motivations of American businessmen as well as the stress and excesses of the era that kept it from surviving, even under optimal economic conditions. In 1933, the 21st Amendment to the Constitution was passed and ratified, repealing prohibition.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Diamond Dog!

BRITISH woman a messy Christmas, having to delve through doo doo after she discovered a diamond worth 22,000 euros had vanished from her engagement ring.

Angie Collins, 51, left the engagement ring out on a table and went to sleep. When she woke up, the ring was still there but the diamond was missing. Her German Shepherd, Jack, had chomped on the ring and swallowed the stone. Collins said: “The next morning Jack was just lying on his back. The sun was reflecting off the jewellery and I think it must have been winking at him. He’s an inquisitive dog so I guessed that he’d taken a look. The ring was totally mangled so it seemed pretty obvious he’d spat it out and eaten the diamond.”

I After Collins took Jack, who is a police dog in training, to the vet, she was told that the chances she would get the diamond back were slim: “My first thought was for Jack’s health but I was obviously gutted about the ring, the vet said there was no point X-raying it because the diamond is made of carbon. He said it could get trapped for good in a pocket

in the dog’s tummy but there was a chance he could poo it out in the next 72 hours or so.” Having spent three days sifting through his poop, she was finally rewarded for her efforts with a grimy gift on Christmas day: “On Christmas Day I had three poops to deal with and it was in the third poop, I had almost given up, so it was the last shot. There it was, glinting in the sun. I have never had a dog like that. I’m going to get [the ring] reset and insured as fast as possible.”

‘Worst dating profile in HistorY’ eXperiment


wOMAn has used a picture of her model best friend with the “worst fake dating profile in history” in an experiment to see just how low men will go if they see a pretty girl – and was inundated by responses from hundreds of salivating men!

Australian columnist Alli Reed said: “I was hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it” but unfortunately there’s no such thing! As if her profile name, Aaroncarterfan, wasn’t bad enough, she indicated that she was mean, spoiled, lazy, racist, manipulative and a gold digger. Even a skill like being good at “convincing people im pregnant lol” and never wanting to be without “$$$, my car, my phone, keeping america american, my family,

my friends, and Aaron Carter” weren’t enough to keep away the men. Reed wrote: “After reading 500 messages from men who apparently had just slapped their ….. on their keyboard a few times and pressed ‘send’, my already flimsy grasp on reality was loosening,”. Once the experiment proved beyond a doubt that men will message just about anyone, even if they are “mean-crazy, life-destroyingcrazy or crazy-crazy,” Reed called it off by giving some parting advice: “You don’t want someone who will pull out your teeth and then sue you for child support; you deserve someone who will make you want to be better than you are, and will want to be better because of you. You deserve happiness, and love, and adventure. Be brave. Don’t settle,” she wrote. “STOP [EXPLETIVE] MESSAGING AARONCARTERFAN!”


All Change For iPhone 6?

nDUSTRY-watchers claim, Apple will raise the price of the next edition of the iPhone, ending rumours that the company plans to enter the budget handset market. Until now, Apple has kept the price of new iPhones static, the news of a price raise comes amid speculation that the next iPhone could be the one that finally sees Apple break with the recent cycle of iterative updates and deliver what many consider a much-needed major overhaul. Analysts are claiming that the iPhone 6 could be as much as £65 more expensive than the current iteration. The extra cost is due a much more powerful processor and a phablet-style monster dis-

play, which could be made of margin-eroding sapphire to make it extra robust. Other rumours doing the rounds include talk of a curved screen similar to Samsung’s Galaxy Round. All of these additions are under consideration by Apple, the analysts believe: “We think Apple could get away with a $50 to $100 premium for a larger screen size iPhone 6. We think such a move could avoid the margin erosion that occurred when the iPhone 5

w a s


Bat droppings


n SCEnES reminiscent of some kind of apocalyptic horror film, thousands of bats are literally dropping out of the sky in Australia.

Around 100,000 bats are estimated to have died as a result of the recent heatwave in southern Queensland, an animal charity says. Around 25 separate colonies across the region have suffered mass deaths, a spokesman for the RSPC Michael Beatty says:

“The heatwave was basically a catastrophe for all the bat colonies in south-east Queensland. That’s obviously going to have a pretty disturbing impact on those colonies and those colonies are vital to our ecosystem.” The smell of the corpses is also causing problems for locals, and survivors are being humanely euthanised by conservation workers and vets. described the scenes as “like we’re living in one of Alfred Hitchcock’s terrifying thought bubbles.”

Bat Conservation and Rescue Queensland president Louise Saunders, said; “These (hot weather) events are really impacting on them. It’s a horrible, cruel way to die. We’re just trying to deal with the animal welfare side of things.” Dead flying foxes are also falling from the sky in droves as temperatures soared to 43 degrees, residents are being advised not to touch the bats as some carry the disease Australian bat lyssavirus, which can cause paralysis and even death in humans.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


REAT white s h a r k s , ra t t l e s n a ke s , lions and tigers and bears (oh my), we all know these beasts are best avoided if you prefer your heart to be the kind that still beats, you can guarantee these and other obvious choices always feature on lists of the world’s dangerous and deadliest animals. But did you know there are just as many littleknown but just as potentially dangerous animals lurking in the wild?

asian Giant Hornet As soon as you see the size of the Asian giant hornet, which is nearly as big as one’s thumb, you’ll see why it’s here. Able to fly at faster than 25 miles per hour, with a wingspan bigger than that of some hummingbirds, this monster is responsible for numerous deaths in Japan every year, one sting can be fatal, regardless of the victim’s experience of an allergic reaction to the venom. The hornet’s venom contains cytolytic peptides that literally tear apart cell tissue on the molecular scale. The size of the stinger, ¼ of an inch, combined with the venom, mean that this hornet sting is devastatingly painful. Tseste Fly Though they look similar to other fly species, tsetse flies differentiate themselves by surviving solely upon the blood of other mammals and are deadly due to their incredible capacity to transmit disease. When making contact with people, the tsetse flies primarily transmit the sleeping disease known as nagana, which causes neurological problems, as well as long term issues in the kidneys, cardiovascular system and more. Large

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

tsetse populations even prevent humans from settling in some geographic areas. Golden Poison Dart Frog This beautiful, technicolour frog gets it’s name from the many tribes that use the frog’s venom on the tips of their weapons to assail intruders. There are nearly 100 species of dart frogs, but the most toxic of all is the golden poison dart frog, a single golden poison dart frog has enough venom to kill 10 adult humans. It is currently endangered, and as a social animal, is often found in groups of four to six. Scientists are still unsure as to how these frogs become toxic. Though the skin of a wild golden poison

frog is densely coated in alkaloid poisons, those raised in captivity never develop venom. Cone Snail Innocent looking, with intricate pattern decorating its shell, but pick one up and you could be in for a nasty surprise. The snail can inject venom through a harpoon-like tooth, paralyzing its prey which it swallows whole, regurgitating any leftover bits after digestion. The c o n e snail’s

venom is one of the most potent neurotoxins in existence, and can prove fatal to humans. Luckily, few deaths are reported each year, as the more deadly cone snails often live on the ocean floor away from humans. Cape Buffalo Cape buffaloes are highly unpredictable and incredibly dangerous and rival hippos as being the most deadly animal in Africa, seeing as they c a u s e a high


number of deaths each Because ferocity,

y e a r. their hunters who bring

c a n down


deadly animals You may not Have Heard of

the Cape buffalo are highly respected within their communities. In Africa, Cape Buffaloes are considered part of the “Big

5,” a definitive list of the most dangerous African animals. The other four animals that comprise the list are the lion, African elephant, leopard, and rhinoceros. Brazilian Wandering Spider Most people know the black widow and brown recluses y e t the Brazilian wandering spider is undeniably the most terrifying

of all. Though smaller t h a n

most spider s p e c i e s , Brazilian wandering spiders, also known as banana spiders, are not fearful of humans, territorial, incredibly aggressive, and highly venomous, these spiders are arguably the most dangerous species in the world, its venom does however have an in te re s t in g side effect, which c a n l a s t for prolonged periods of time, leading some to call it a “natural Viagra.” Box Jellyfish While only superficially distinguishable from other jellyfish by its cube-like shape, this well-developed species also has eyes and can propel itself through the water, but being stung by this type of jellyfish could cost a person his or her life as it’s one of the deadliest animals on the planet.The box jellyfish kills its prey by injecting poison using its 10 foot long tentacles that are covered in stinging cells. Often, the toxins shut down a person’s nervous system within minutes, and many swimmers have been known to drown before even making it back to shore.

drop the press! S

piderman was decidedly not super or a hero at a recent publicity stunt staged to promote the soon to be released movie “The Amazing Spiderman 2”. He had one job. All Spidey had to do was swoop down and catch a ‘faint-

ing’ news reporter, instead, missing his cue he allowed Good Morning America’s Sarah Haines to slip through his grasp and crash to the floor with a thud.

The awkward and epic fail was caught on camera, with the aBC News reporter taking to

Twitter afterwards to reassure viewers she was oK. She posted: ‘No injuries, but have never felt leSS graceful, it didn’t hurt, but maybe that’s adrenaline.’ a 2nd Spider-Man video when viral this week of the Marvel character defeating Batman and Robin in a bizarre mixed martial arts video.

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29 aRoNa 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 6 October, Santísimo Cristo de la Salud.

el RoSaRIo 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 4 August, Nuestra Señora de la Esperanza.

el SaUZal 4 March, Martes de Carnaval.

GUÍa De ISoRa 24 June, Celebración de San Juan Bautista. 22 September, Santísimo Cristo de la Dulce Muerte.

GRaNaDIlla De aBoNa 4 March, martes de carnaval. 13 June, Festividad de San Antonio de Padua.

FaSNIa 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 18 August, Fiesta Patronal de San Joaquín.

el TaNQUe 1 September, Celebración Festividad de Nuestra Señora de Buen Viaje. 20 October, Celebración Festividad del Santísimo Cristo del Calvario.

25 July, Fiesta Santiago Apóstol.

he Government has announced 2014s public holidays in the Canaries. The following are the official fiestas (bank holidays) for Tenerife in 2014:

aDeJe 20 January, Festividad de San Sebastián. 13 October, Festividad de Santa Úrsula.

In addition, each municipality has its own two days. It is the proliferation of these two local days throughout the island that gives the impression that the whole of Tenerife is constantly on holiday.

1 January, New Year’s Day; 6 January, Epiphany 3 February, Virgen de la Candelaria 17 & 18 april, Easter 1 May, Fiesta del Trabajo; 30 May, Día de Canarias 15 august, Asunción de la Virgen 1 November, Todos los Santos 6 December, Día de la Constitución; 8 December, Immaculate Conception; 25 December, Christmas Day The above dates are the fiestas for the Canaries together with the extra day which each island enjoys which, in Tenerife’s case, is 3 February for the island’s patron saint day, the Virgen de la Candelaria.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

GÜÍMaR 30 June, Fiestas Patronales de San Pedro Apóstol. 8 September, Fiesta en Honor de Nuestra Señora de El Socorro. ICoD De loS VINoS 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 25 April, Festividad de San Marcos Evangelista, Patrón de la ciudad. PUeRTo De la CRUZ 3 May, Fiesta de la Exaltación de la Santa Cruz y Conmemoración de la Fundación de la Ciudad. 15 July, Conmemoración de la Festividad de la Virgen del Carmen. SaN CRISTÓBal De la laGUNa 4 March, Martes de Carnaval.

Santa Cruz.

15 September, Día posterior a la Fiesta del Santísimo Cristo de La Laguna. SaN MIGUel De aBoNa 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 29 September, Fiesta de San Miguel Arcángel. SaNTa CRUZ De TeNeRIFe 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 3 May, Fiesta de la SaNTa ÚRSUla 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 21 October, Día de Santa Úrsula, Patrona del Municipio. TaCoRoNTe 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 25 de noviembre: Santa Catalina.

VIlaFloR 25 April, Festividad del Hermano Pedro. 1 September, Festividad de San Roque y San Agustín. VIlla De aRaFo 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 1 September, Festividad de San Bernardo. VIlla De aRICo 4 March, Martes de Carnaval.

8 September, Festividad de Nuestra Señora de Abona.

VIlla De BUeNaVISTa Del NoRTe 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 25 October, Festividad de Nuestra Señora de los Remedios. VIlla De CaNDelaRIa 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 26 July, Festividad de Santa Ana. VIlla De la MaTaNZa De aCeNTeJo 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 6 August, Día de El Salvador.

VIlla De la oRoTaVa 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 26 June, Infraoctava del Corpus Christi.

VIlla De la VICToRIa De aCeNTeJo 4 March, Martes de Carnaval. 1 September, fiestas patronales del municipio.

VIlla De loS RealeJoS 22 January, Festividad de San Vicente. 3 May, Exaltación de La Santa Cruz.

VIlla De loS SIloS 24 June, San Juan. 8 September, Nuestra Señora de la Luz.

VIlla De SaN JUaN De la RaMBla 24 June, Fiestas de San Juan Bautista. 15 September, Fiestas de San José.

VIlla De TeGUeSTe 25 April, Festividad de San Marcos Evangelista. 8 September, Festividad de Nuestra Señora de los Remedios.

VIlla HISTÓRICa De SaNTIaGo Del TeIDe 16 July, Festividad de Nuestra Señora del Carmen. 25 July, Festividad del Apóstol Santiago.

VIlla Y PUeRTo De GaRaCHICo 24 June, Festividad de San Juan. 16 August, Festividad de San Roque.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Winds, 30ft Waves, and giant Hailstones


he weather conditions that brought misery over the festive period continued to prove treacherous at the weekend - with a 47-year-old man becoming the third person to die in the storms. The unnamed victim died when his mobility scooter fell into the swollen River Thames at Osney Lock, Oxford, at 6.30pm last Saturday.

A search is continuing for missing 18-year-old student Harry Martin, who was last seen leaving his home in Newton

Ferrers, near Plymouth, on Thursday afternoon to take photos of the storms. A 27-year-old man from Surrey was found on Porthleven Sands beach in Cornwall after he was swept out to sea on New Year’s Eve night and a woman died after being rescued from the sea in Croyde Bay, north Devon. The western coastline of Britain has been devastated by the ongoing storms that have relentlessly battered the UK throughout December and into January. Huge tidal surges and monster waves towering to 30ft have flooding huge areas, smashing roads

and are causing transport chaos. There have been 21 severe flood warnings in place - the highest level and 500 lower alerts across the UK last weekend, with people being warned to stay away from the coast and swollen rivers. But police in Cornwall were forced away from emergency calls to order away sightseers who

decided to get close to the violent storm surge. One family were ENGULFED by a huge wave as they walked along Cornish sea front, the father, mother and three young children were walking along a promenade at Mullion Cove, which is almost the southernmost point in all of Britain.

Suddenly, a huge wave came over the top of the wall, drenching all four members of the family. The incident could have been extremely dangerous for the parents and children, who were walking along a narrow promenade and were nearly swept into the sea. But thankfully, the unidentified family

appeared to be unhurt - even if they were left extremely wet. On Monday Aberystwyth seafront - including 600 rooms of the university’s student halls of residence facing the beach - was evacuated and rescue centres set up amid a high tide as strong winds battered the coastline.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014



By Marc Craig


t was a year of low album sales in general, but Justin Timberlake, with his concept album 20/20 was the only album to sell over 2 million copies, making it the biggest selling of 2013 in the US, according to neilson SoundScan, which also listed Robin Thicke’s controversial Blurred Lines as the biggest selling single, in fact Pharrell, who features on the number 1 track had an incredible year, his Daft Punk collaboration Get Lucky made number 2, followed by Avicii’s stonking 2013 anthem, wake Me Up.

timberlake tops 2013

Other big sellers were, unsurprisingly, Bruno Mars, Eminem, Beyoncé, Rihanna, Pink and Katy Perry in both album and single sales. In the UK, One Direction, Olly Murs, Emilie Sandie and Robbie Williams all sold well, proving that the Brits like to buy British, with homegrown acts accounting for 60% of The Official Top 40 Biggest Selling Artist Albums Of 2013 (24 albums out of 40), while in the Top 10 the percentage is even higher at 80%. One Direction’s Midnight Memories was the biggest selling album of 2013. Harry, Niall, Liam, Louis and Zayn sold an impressive 685,000 copies of their third studio album, which was only released five weeks before the year-end chart was compiled. Midnight Memories is also t h e fastest selling artist album of 2013, shifting more than 237,000 copies during its first week on sale back in November, 1D’s Liam

Payne said: “This tops an amazing year for us! We’re so excited to have the biggest selling album in the UK this year, e s pecially with a record we are all so proud of. We’d like to thank everyone who has bought the album, it really means a lot to us.” “The British public’s affinity for British music is alive and kicking,” said BPI chairman Tony Wadsworth. “For an impressive ninth year in a row, a U.K. artist signed, developed and supported by a British record label has claimed the best-selling artist album on home turf.” On the telly, the BBC’s coverage of London’s New Year fireworks, pipped I’m A Celebrity to the post at the last minute, to be the most watched programme with 13.7 million viewers, the finals of Wimbledon and Britain’s Got Talent also had millions glued to their screens. Bookwise, Stephen King’s much delayed sequel to The Shining was on many a bedside table, as was Inferno, the latest Dan Brown novel to feature his Robert Langd o n character, but it was self help book StrengthsFinder 2.0, an update of a 2001 release, which ignited a global conversation and helped millions to discover their top five

The Desolation Of Smaug Showing daily at 15:30 hr - 161 min Adventure/Fantasy Rated 12A Starring Ian McKellen Martin Freeman Richard Armitage Ken Stot

Tel: 922 713 858

The dwarves, along with Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey, continue their quest to reclaim Erebor, their homeland, from Smaug. Bilbo Baggins is in possession of a mysterious and magical ring.

first movie, wisely the next installment will shift the focus to those hilarious minions! Fast and Furious 6 incredibly for a franchise that was dead in the water, or should I say road, a few years back is now a major money maker, coming 3rd at the box office and, with the sad loss of star Paul Walker last year, you can bet the already filmed 7th installment will get tills ringing.

Walker’s Character Will “retire” in f&f7

E The Hobbit:

Information Correct at time of going to press. Check our Facebook page or contact the cinema for further information.

talents, that sold the most copies according to Amazon. Gamers flocked in their millions to pick up Grand Theft Auto V, with 26.75 Million units s o l d worldwide, it shattered r e cords and wowed critics, selling well over double the 2nd biggest, Call Of Duty: Ghosts, and triple the third, FIFA 2014. In the movie world Tony Stark proved that Iron Man doesn’t need the Avengers to clean up at the box office, Iron Man 3 was the highest grossing movie of 2013, confirming yet again that Marvel/ Disney are an u n s to p pable force at the box office, a position that surely will strengthen now that Star Wars episode 7 edges ever nearer! Minions make money!! Despicable Me 2 was the second highest grossing movie, a sequel that didn’t quite hit the heights of the

ver since the tragic death of actor Paul walker, Fast and Furious fans have been wondering how the partially filmed 7th installment would go ahead without one of the franchise’s main players. Universal Pictures have already acknowledged that walker had filmed many of his scenes before the untimely accident, but they also pushed back the movie’s release date from this July to April 2015, leading to spec-


ation that the filmed scenes may be scrapped and walker’s character would be written out entirely, perhaps killed off-screen.

However it has recently emerged that writer Chris Morgan and director James Wan have agreed to “tweak the script and add scenes so footage of the late actor’s Brian O’Conner character can still be used -- but the franchise can continue.” It has also been decided that O’Conner will not be killed off in the film, but the studio will “retire” the character via the existing footage of Walker that was shot prior to his death, with the hope of satisfying fans with a fitting conclusion to the characters story arc.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Self Assembling Robots Are Coming!

JanuarY 2014 Friday 10th January . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted experience Saturday 11th January . . . . . . . Saturday TITaNIC Night Sunday 12th January . . . . . . . . . ViVo Sunday Carvery Monday 13th January . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 16th January . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 17th January . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted experience Saturday 18th January . . . . . . . Saturday Gala Night Sunday 19th January . . . . . . . . . ViVo Sunday Carvery Monday 20th January . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 23rd January . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 24th January . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted experience Saturday 25th January . . . . . . . Saturday Gala Night Sunday 26th January . . . . . . . . . ViVo Sunday Carvery Monday 27th January . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 30th January . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 31st January . . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted experience

feBruarY 2014 Saturday 1st February . . . . . . . . Saturday Gala Night Sunday 2nd February . . . . . . . . . ViVo Sunday Carvery Monday 3rd February . . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 6th February . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 7th February . . . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted experience Saturday 8th February . . . . . . . . Saturday Gala Night Sunday 9th February . . . . . . . . . ViVo Sunday Carvery Monday 10th February . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 13th February . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 14th February . . . . . . . . . Valentine´s Night Saturday 15th February . . . . . . Saturday Gala Night Sunday 16th February . . . . . . . . . ViVo Sunday Carvery Monday 17th February . . . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Thursday 27th February . . . . . . Decades Spectacular Friday 28th February . . . . . . . . . Bitter & Twisted experience * Discount vouchers are not accepted for these dates


esearchers in Switzerland have developed the Cubli, which, by using a system of wheels and motors, can balance on its corner, jump, and “walk” on its own. Because of the sophisticated mechanics inside, it can stabilize itself in microgravity, making it ideal for various tasks in space. Alarmingly, the Cubli is a 15cm cube that can be used for self-assembling robots. Seriously? Haven’t Switzerland heard of Skynet? Wasn’t Terminator released over there? If robots no longer need humans to construct

them and repair them, how long before they figure out that they can wipe us out, or enslave us? Maybe global warming, world war three, or invasion by alien ove r l o rd s

isn’t what w e need t o worry about, t s little Swiss cubes in the corner of some research lab plotting our’ve been warned!! i

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


Sharples in Session By John Sharples




ife seems to hurtle by at an amazing rate. I remember watching Blue Peter as a child in the seventies when Val, John and Pete buried a time capsule for the year two thousand. At the time that they buried the box, I remember thinking that I would be in my thirties when the box was dug up again. It was dug up fourteen years ago! When they opened the box it was full of old slop because the seal had broken. That is how I feel, like an old slop! I just had by fifty first birthday. It was a shock really. Although I knew that it was inevitable, I really thought that I would get to enjoy being fifty for a little while


Oh Well, I could just pretend that I am still fifty or even better, I could turn back the clock on each birthday so that I get a year younger each time a birthday happens. Last night a bloke in a bar said that he thought I was a talented entertainer. I was flattered of course, I had only been running my quiz night at Zepps Bar in Puerto de la Cruz, but the audience were fantastic and I had them laughing along. The man said that I was obviously a lot younger than him. I took a look at him and thought that he looked about the same age as me. He told me that I looked about forty two! WOW! I love it! I haven’t been forty two for about nine years. Compliments like that are welcome. Anyway, as we hurtle towards 2015 and another new years eve, I would like to wish you all the happiness in the world for this New Year!

Sort it Out!


here are some superb acts and shows in Tenerife. There are some truly professional people, who work hard on an ongoing basis to update their shows. They are constantly looking for and rehearsing new numbers. They regularly change their stage clothing and their music is spoton. These shows are a pleasure to see and they are generally booked up most of

the time.

On the other hand, there are some acts that turn up to work on stage looking like they have just got up out of the audience. Their music is spread out over a number of Discs, which means that they constantly have to change them whilst on stage performing, and they guzzle water from a bottle on the side. I don’t want to be controversial here, these are merely my humble observations, but surely the Stage is a place for doing the very best

that you can do. Being a Show is an opportunity to Show-off your talents. It doesn’t take an awful lot of thought and effort to turn a standard cabaret act into something special. A little bit of Glitz or Glam and backing tracks that don’t fade out at the end, but that have a proper ending can make such a difference. Sort yourselves out! Calling yourself a show doesn’t make you a show! I’m going to take a valium and wait for the backlash! Where’s my bottle of water?


rag has been around as long as the British Entertainment scene if not longer! Back in the days of William Shakespeare, women weren’t allowed to perform on the stage. This meant that a male would have to play the female parts. It would usually be a young pretty male that would get the parts like Romeo’s Juliet. Drag itself, gets its name from Carnival speak, or Polari as it is also known. The initials of the word Drag spell, DRessed As Girl. There are many types of Drag. The most famous and most enduring is the tra-

ditional pantomime dame. These highly outrageous and colourful characters usually end up being the stars of any pantomime whether intended or not. There was a surge of drag acts (as we know them now) in the 1960’s when gay liberation was at its height. The best clubs in London would always feature a drag show on their main nights. One of the early people to don a dress was entertainer, Arthur Lucan, who became famous as the washerwoman “Old Mother Riley”. His exploits and clown like antics with his beautiful daughter Kitty were part of the nation’s staple diet of entertainment. Danny La Rue was by no means the first drag act, but he was certainly the most famous of his day. He took drag to a new level. His costumes were covered in

Ostrich feathers and sequins and were rumoured to have cost thousands of pounds. His fans adored him. His heyday was without doubt the 1970’s when he had his own TV series, record albums, books and even a movie called “Our Miss Fred”. Danny’s club in London was the “in” place to be with the rich and famous and he was, of course, top of the bill every night. People like Billy Breen, who later changed his name to Larry Grayson, also had humble beginnings on the club circuit as a drag act. Drag shows can be very expensive to put together as Barry and I know. We are always updating the costumes and adding new things to our repertoire. It is certainly the most fun job that I have ever had and the audiences are fantastic. You could say that life is a drag ….. but it isn’t!


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

polar vortex punishes us


AST week America’s East coast faced the wrath of winter storm Hercules, as he dumped 22 inches of snow in new York, DC and Boston grounded 4,000 flights and closed every school, yes every school, as the extreme weather sent temperatures plummeting to levels so cold exposed skin would FREEZE within 15 minutes. new nYC Mayor Bill de Blasio said he was was:

‘Ready for whatever hits us’ as Outreach teams looked to get homeless people off the frozen streets of New York City and Boston. Lake Michigan was frozen solid and ice breakers

were deployed to clear the way for shipping. A blustering winter storm that dropped nearly 2 feet of snow just north of Boston, shut down major highways in New York and Pennsylvania and forced U.S. airlines to cancel thousands of flights nationwide because of the snowfall and low visibility, menaced the Northeast with howling winds and frigid temperatures. Some cities have banned driving for anyone other than those seeking shelter. Douglas Brunette, an A&E doctor in Minneapolis’ warned: ‘I have seen frostbite occur through clothing, it’s not enough just to be covered. You need clothes made for the elements. You need to repel the wind.’ Indianapolis mayor Greg Ballard added: ‘The cold is the real killer here. In 10 minutes you could be

Question 1: What is a fox’s tail called? Question 2: What do Emperor penguins make their nests from? Question 3: What special feature did the dimetrodon have? Question 4: In what way is the trunk of the cottonwood tree unusual? Question 5: What is the national flower of Wales? Question 6: What effect does alcohol have on body temperature? Question 7: Name two of the four March sisters in Louisa May Alcott’s classic Little Women?

Question 8: Name the Japanese motor-cycle manufacturer who introduced the classically styled Gold Wing in 1989?

Question 9: In 1995, which TV personality vanished after walking out of a play in which he starred with Rik Mayall?

Question 10: Who played the hairnetted battleaxe Ena Sharples in Coronation Street?

Question 11: What was the Beatles’ last No. 1 hit in the Uk?

dead without the proper clothes.’ The winter storm raged from coast to coast affecting 100million Americans. Forecasters warned that gusts of up to 30 miles per hour could bring wind chills to minus 25 degrees, cold enough to cause frostbite in about 30 minutes or less. The weather service said people should dress warmly to avoid hypothermia and cover all exposed skin. Governors in New York and New Jersey declared states of emergency, urging residents to stay home. Towards the end of the week, conditions worsened considerably as dense air known as a ‘polar vortex,’ a whirling mass of freezing air brought heavy snow and wind chill temperatures of minus 50C to large parts of America, last seen two decades ago. People have been urged to stay indoors.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


gardening and Nature By Steve Andrews - aka Green Bard


Signs of Spring in Tenerife

t looks as if spring has sprung in Tenerife even though it is early January. Already many flowers are in bloom and are brightening up the towns, countryside and roads of the island.

One of the most colourful that can be seen in many places in the north of Tenerife is the golden houseleek (Aeonium holochrysum). This succulent plant has branching stems topped by rosettes of leaves and in the middle of these appear the flowering stalks. The golden houseleek has coneshaped spikes of small bright yellow starry flowers and is often seen growing out of walls, roadside banks and, as its name suggests, on the roofs of houses and buildings. Drive around or catch a bus in the north and you are sure to see plenty of examples of this pretty flower.

Almond Blossom

Sonchus Flowers

Golden Houseleek


Nasturtiums (Tropaeolum majus) are growing fast in many locations, again mainly in the cooler and damper north, and they are in flower already in some places. This plant is an annual and dies in the hot summers here but springs up anew from seeds left scattered on the ground. The nasturtium has attractive rounded leaves and orange, yellow or red flowers and is often grown in gardens in other parts of the world including the UK. Here in Tenerife it helps add its charm to the countryside of the island. The white flowers of the viper’s bugloss species Echium giganteum are already to be seen. This plant is a close relation of the red viper’s bugloss (E. wildpretii) that grows high up on Mt Teide and comes into flower in late spring and early summer. The red viper’s bugloss is known as “Taginaste rojo” in Spanish and is a very rare plant found in the wild only on Mt Teide and in Vilaflor. The giganteum species can form quite large bushes and is sometimes planted in shrub borders. It is found in the north of Tenerife in coastal districts. It can often be spotted growing on waste ground and roadsides in the Icod de los

Vinos area but is also found higher up in the mountains. Everywhere in Tenerife in spring has gone green, even the normally arid mountains and semi-desert coastal plains of the south are covered in vegetation at this time of year. Further north the Canary Island sowthistle (Sonchus acaulis) is forming large rosettes of jagged leaves. This plant grows back every year after dying down for the previous summer. It produces flowering stems that carry bright yellow flowers. The Canary Island sowthistle species are very much like giant dandelions in flower and leaf-form. And indeed they are related because they are all in the Asteraceae family. The woodlands and forests are really at their best in spring when walkers are sure to be delighted by the many wild flowers that can be seen. One of the most beautiful of

all is the Canary Island bellflower (Catacular displays of this flowering narina canariensis). tree and guided walks are held there This plant is one of the many every year so that people can folthat disappear in summer but start low the paths that lead through the to grow again after the autumn farmland and mountain slopes on and winter rains. The Canary Island which the trees grow. bellflower has rambling stems that It is not just the plants and trees climb all over whatever is in their of Tenerife that are enjoying the way. It has bell-shaped flowers of spring and have responded to the pale orange. change of season. The birds all know After flowering a quite large it is time for them to start thinking greenish-yellow to orange-reddish about finding mates and making fruit is formed which is nests. actually edible. It seems a Everywhere around the island you shame to do so though becan hear birds calling, birds such as cause it would be far better the blackbird (Turdus merula). Frogs to leave them where they too are looking for mates and croak are so they can produce in chorus at night. more of these beautiful Spring is the time that nature plants. The Canary Island shows of its glories and bursts into bellflower, in any case, is song. a protected species. One of the real delights of the Tenerife countryside in spring is the blooming of the almond trees (Prunus amygdalus). The white or pink blossom covers the trees before they grow new leaves. Almonds flower at Canary Island bellflower different times in Tenerife depending on the altitude and temperature so it is usual to see them in flower in one part and then a bit further along a road to see them still as bare branches. Almond blossom time makes the countryside they grow in literally as pretty as a picture. The Santiago del Teide area is one part of the island that Echium Giganteum is known for its spec-

Uses for the Nasturtium

Besides being a pretty garden flower the nasturtium has its uses. It is also known as Indian cress and there is a clue in that name because like cress it is an edible plant. Nasturtium leaves and flowers can be eaten raw in salads and

sandwiches and have a hot and tangy taste a lot like watercress. The hard green seeds are like little nuts and can be pickled in vinegar and served as a substitute for capers, as can the buds. Nasturtiums contain plenty of vitamin C and minerals and

are good for your health. They can also be used for their herbal properties as a treatment for urinary and respiratory infections such as bronchitis, as well as being a blood-purifier. It is also said to be an aphrodisiac.

Also known as the Bard of Ely, the Green Bard has a Green Beard, as can be seen in the photo. He is an expert on nature and loves to write about wildlife and conservation. He has a very wide knowledge of edible plants, foraging and herbs.

He was quoted as a “Weed expert” in The Ecologist. The Green Bard, though originally from Cardiff in Wales, is currently based in Tenerife where he has successfully reared many Monarch butterflies on plants grown on his apartment balcony. In May, 2012, at the English Library in Puerto de la Cruz he gave a talk on the Flora and Fauna of Tenerife to a full house and has been invited back to be a guest speaker again.

Keep up to date with him at:


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Bye Bye Love

Aquarius 20 January to 18 February

Your unorthodox side will emerge on Monday. If you go to work wearing pajamas, the boss won’t be pleased! Spend time with someone you love on Wednesday. Being with friends and family should be your first priority in 2014. You may feel unmotivated when the Moon in aquarius squares Saturn on Friday. Read self-help books by inspirational writers. Call on your common sense on Saturday. Don’t give your heart or money away too quickly this weekend.

Pisces 19 February to 20 March

Create a new household budget on Monday. You could be spending more money than you’re saving. Put your life experience to good use on Tuesday. Counsel a friend who’s making the same mistakes that you once did. an unexpected blessing will come your way on Wednesday. You’ll be very happy as 2014 begins! Your aura will sparkle when the Moon in Pisces sextiles the Sun on Sunday. all eyes will turn in your direction everywhere you go

Aries 21 March to 19 april

Put safety first when the Sun squares Uranus in aries on Monday. Keep your valuables under lock and key. Have a blast on Tuesday. Call friends over for an impromptu party. Create a New Year’s resolution list on Wednesday. Don’t forget to follow through! a family member may need a helping hand on Friday. Be prepared to change your plans to assist this person. a business venture could run into trouble on Sunday. Consider pulling out of the deal.

Taurus 20 april to 20 May

Tension may fill the workplace on Monday. Rely on your stoic side when you’re under pressure. Consider going back to school when the New Moon occurs in your education zone on Wednesday. Celebrate 2014 by learning a new skill! Think about overhauling your image on Thursday. It’s possible that a new hairstyle will boost your self-confidence. an estranged friend will contact you on Sunday. This person wants to rehash unfinished business. If you’re not interested, say so!

Gemini 21 May to 21 June

Your sweetie will feel amorous on Monday. Fireworks might go off in the bedroom! Stay flexible on Tuesday. an unexpected event may change your New Year’s eve plans. organize your closets on Wednesday. Welcome 2014 by putting the house in order. look at the big picture when your ruler Mercury opposes Jupiter on Friday. Don’t get bogged down in details regarding an important matter. Give yourself permission to be lazy on Sunday. avoid burnout by relaxing over the weekend.

Cancer 22 June to 22 July

a partner may play power games when Mercury conjuncts Pluto in your relationship zone on Tuesday. Think about setting new guidelines in the partnership. Dance to a different tune on Wednesday. Start 2014 by jazzing up your life. a colleague will give you job tips on Friday. This person knows the ropes, so listen closely to the advice. Spiritual matters will be on your mind on Saturday. It might be time to join a religious organization.

leo 23 July to 22 august

Buy noisemakers on Tuesday. New Year’s eve is your favorite time of year, so party hard! Review your dietary requirements when the Moon conjuncts Mercury in your health zone on Wednesday. eat fruits and vegetables to improve your personal well-being in 2014. a neighbor may ask you to walk the dog on Thursday. If you’re allergic to fur, turn down the request. You might be confused on Sunday. Wait until you’re thinking clearly to make any decisions.

Virgo 23 august to 22 September

It wouldn’t be wise to play the stock market on Monday. You might lose lots of cash if you take a financial risk. a love affair will blossom when the Moon enters your sector of romance on Tuesday. If you’re single, a new honey might appear at a New Year’s eve gathering. Review your aspirations on Wednesday. Don’t pursue outdated ambitions in 2014. Your creative juices will flow on Saturday. It’s a great time to draw, dance, make pottery, or compose music.

Libra 23 September to 23 october

empower yourself when Mars in libra squares Pluto on Monday. enroll in an assertiveness training workshop. You’ll be indecisive on Tuesday. Choosing which New Year’s eve event to attend won’t be easy. a family member may become extremely demanding on Wednesday. Try to be patient with your loved one. Have a good laugh on Friday. Call a friend and go to a comedy club. The boss may ask you to work on Sunday. This person will reward your dedication to duty!

Scorpio 24 october to 21 November

Watch your step on Monday. It isn’t wise to wander alone in an unfamiliar locale. look on the bright side of life when the New Moon occurs in your zone of the mind on Wednesday. Vow to banish pessimistic thoughts in 2014. Call on your determination on Thursday. You’ll need a little extra juice to finish a project. Don’t spread gossip on Sunday. It’s possible that your words will come back to haunt you.

Sagittarius 22 November to 21 December

The week ahead has a strong party element, especially as your social life appears to be vital and very exciting. With the wine flowing and kisses under the mistletoe, you’ll certainly enjoy yourself. There’s also the chance of a romantic attraction out of the blue, which could be very tempting. a spontaneous decision could take you on a roller-coaster ride full of fun and delight. Chances are good that it may not last long, but you’ll enjoy it while it does.

Capricorn 22 December to 19 January

a colleague may try to drag you into office politics on Monday. Don’t get involved in this person’s game. You might be in a disagreeable mood when Mercury in Capricorn squares Mars on Tuesday. Mellow out by walking in a peaceful setting. Dynamic vibrations will surround you on Wednesday. You’ll be eager to take on challenges in 2014. extra money will come your way on Sunday. You could find spare change under a sofa cushion!


hil Everly, the younger brother of the harmony duo The Everly Brothers whose sweet vocals and steel-string guitars were an inspiration for many a c t s

including The Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel, has died.

His Wife Patti Everly told reporters that her husband, a life-long cigarette smoker who was 74, had suffered from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. He died on Friday in Burbank, California “We are absolutely heartbroken,” she said. “He fought long and hard.” Don, 76, was born in Kentucky, while Phil was born two years later in Chicago. Their father, Ike, was a musician and he and wife Margaret moved the boys to Te n n e s s e e when they were in high school. Guitar

legend Chet Atkins, a friend of the family, took an interest in Don and Phil’s musical talents and introduced them to the producer who would ultimately lead them to their first record deal. The Everly Brothers had dozens of Top 100 hits, including “Bye Bye Love,” “All I Have To Do Dream,” “Wake Up Little Susie” and other country-inflected pop songs that are still in rotation on classic radio today, in fact, Billie Joe Armstrong and Norah Jones just released Foreverly, a reinterpretation of the duo’s folksy 1958 album Songs Our Daddy Taught Us, in November. Phil and brother Don were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s first class in 1986, Robert Santelli, executive director of the Grammys Museum, said in a statement: “When you talk about harmony singing in the popular music of the postwar period, the first place you start is the Everly Brothers.You could say they were the vocal link between all the 1950s great doo wop groups and what would come in the 1960s with the Beach Boys and the Beatles. They showed the Beach Boys and the Beatles how to sing harmony and incorporate that into a pop music form that was irresistible.” “Phil Everly was a groundbreaking artist, and he leaves an indelible and timeless mark on music and our industry,” added Recording Academy president Neal Portnow. “Our sincerest condolences go out to his family, friends and those who were inspired by his outstanding talent.” In addition to his wife and brother Don, Phil Everly is survived by mother Margaret, sons Jason a n d Chris and two g randchildren.

37 parkle´s S y r r Ba

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

pugh´S pantrY By Barry pugh

Bit On The Side

let’s go meXiCan…. Hellooo sparklettes !! M w exican food has always been one of my very favourite meals, but it’s no secret it can be fattening. This alternative that bakes the fajitas is great, and much better for you! It’s also incredibly easy. I have always used a basic recipe, however, I have added a few things, and taken out a few things, to make it a little bit different. I love the added cilantro…such a great addition. I also tossed the Chicken in garlic Philadelphia cream cheese, there’s lots of different flavours available, and they all give different

results - they are really good. The garlic version has just enough spice where it’s not overpowering…but really kicks the taste up a notch. If you don’t want to go out and buy that, use cooking cream adding a little garlic salt would also taste great. For a quick dinner, this is perfect. 5 minute prep, toss it in the oven, forget about it for 25 minutes, and dinner is served!! And this tasted brilliant as leftovers. It really is so good!Such a quick and easy

1 Kilo boneless, skinless chicken breasts cut into strips 1 can diced tomatoes (drained) 1 medium onion, sliced 1 large pepper, seeded and

sliced 1 Tablespoon vegetable oil 1 Teaspoon chilli powder 1 Tablespoon cilantro 2 Tablespoons Garlic Philadelphia Cream cheese ½ teaspoon dried oregano

(and delicious) dinner option!! Put them in the oven, leave them,take them out, and eat them! For the added homemade touch – there’s a really easy Tortilla recipe for you… Who needs shop bought Tortillas when they are just so simple to make!

oven BaKed faJitas Ingredients:

¼ teaspoon salt 12 flour tortillas, warmed to serve Sour cream, salsa, and shredded cheese for garnish 1 fresh lime (for garnish)


Preheat the oven to 200°C.Grease a baking dish. Mix together tomatoes, peppers, and onions in the dish.In a small bowl combine the oil, Garlic Philadelphia Cream cheese, and spices. Toss the sliced chicken breast in the spice mixture to coat.Com-

bine chicken and vegetables in baking dish. Bake uncovered for 20-25 minutes or until chicken is cooked through and the vegetables are tender. Serve with warmed tortillas, garnished with your choice of shredded cheese, salsa, and sour cream.

tHe simple tortilla Ingredients:

250g plain flour 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking powder

1 tablespoon butter 100ml water


In a large mixing bowl, combine together flour, salt and baking powder. Rub in butter until mixture resembles coarse breadcrumbs.Add the water and mix until the dough can be gathered together. If necessary, add more water (1 teaspoon at a time) until the dough comes together. Cover the dough with a damp cloth and let rest for 15 minutes. Divide the dough into 12 equal pieces and roll into rounds.

On a lightly floured surface, use a rolling pin to flatten and stretch each round into a circle 35cm across. Cook on an ungreased frying pan over medium high heat until brown spots begin to appear on the

tortillas. Keep covered with a clean, dry cloth until ready to serve.

ELL another week of festivities, it was of course king’s Day this Monday, when Spanish children receive presents from the 3 kings, who arrive the night before for a procession through the streets and do those three know how to Sparkle! I was at the Hard R o c k Cafe this week, where everyone was so welcoming and treated me like a King... Not only that I met The King or at least the best Elvis impersonator I’ve ever seen, sadly though it reminded me of my pet

chameleon Elvis, who sadly died after biting me, of course if he hadn’t bit me I would be able to change colour at will! Last week I told you about my connections to Splash, well the show kicked off at the weekend. It was nice to see semi regular Tenerife DJ Vernon Kay back on the Telly, but more exciting than that was the news that my old swimming coach Greg Whyte from Tom Daley’s team r e c e i ve d a n

O.B.E in the Y e a r s

New Honours

List ... Congrats !! Celebrity Big Brother was also back on the box last weekend, with the likes of Ollie Locke, TOWIE’s Sam Faiers, Lee Ryan from Blue, Lionel Blair, Jim Davidson, Linda Nolan and Evander Holyfield (a right poofter) in the BB house it’s bound to get exciting !! Before I go I’d just like to give a huge shout out to Dennis Rodman. I’m all about peace and love and the flamboyant basketballer has headed back to North Korea and has vowed to talk to his unlikely pal c o n t r o ve r s i a l leader Kim JongUn about human rights “when the time is right,” good on you D-Rod! Until next week... Keeeep Sparkling !!


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


What’s a commonym you ask?

a commonyms is group of words that have a common trait in the three words/items listed. For example: the words; a car - a tree - an elephant.. they all have trunks. These will make you think! 1. easy - High - lounge __________________________________________________ 2. Matchbooks - Magazines - Beds _______________________________________ 3. Malls - Bacon - Comic _________________________________________________ 4. Cuba - Ireland - Japan ________________________________________________ 5. Mud - Java - Joe ______________________________________________________ 6. Corn - The U.S. army - Kentucky Fried Chicken __________________________ 7. Nanny - Kid - Billy ____________________________________________________ 8. Judges - Ruth - Kings ___________________________________________________________________ 9. Black - lazy - Bloodshot ________________________________________________________________ 10. Body - Corssing - life __________________________________________________________________ 11. Story - Fortune - Bank ________________________________________________________________ 12. Rough - Curtain - Fringe _______________________________________________________________ 13. Cows - Goats - Coconuts _______________________________________________________________ 14. Charities - Golfers - Computers ________________________________________________________ 15. Flood - Pilot - Flash ___________________________________________________________________

Issue 111 - PUZZLES Page 8. Page 16. Page 34. Page 56.


Cryptic Crossword Sudoku Pub Quiz Quick Crossword

answers to the CoMMoNYMS are on page 2.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Motoring neWS


By lingy

How to w drive through floods

ith the recent severe storms over here in Tenerife and many holiday makers facing the prospect of going home to face the horrendous storms back in the Uk, there has never been a better time to learn how to correctly drive through floods on the road. Firstly, avoiding driving through floods is the best option, but if you can’t avoid it, make sure there is not more than six inches of standing water or four inches of moving water. A good way to do this is by Parking up and watching other vehicles negotiate the flood, which will give you a good indication of how deep it is. Be mindful of hidden dips and gullies where the water could be deeper. Once you literally take the plunge, try to stay on the crown of the road, avoiding the


apanese car giant nissan are hoping to put the wacky BladeGlider concept car into production this year.

Nissan chief planning officer Andy Palmer says: ‘It’s in our mid-term plan, our intention is to do it.’ The ‘swept wing’ BladeGlider has a front track that is just one metre wide, which is claimed to improve not just aerodynamics, but also agility and handling. There’s a 30:70 front-to-rear weight distribution because the

lithium-ion battery pack is mounted towards the back of the car, and each reach wheel contains an electric motor. ‘It’s the antidote to the traditional sports car,’ claims Palmer. ‘It changes your perception of how a car handles: the weight is over the back wheels, it drifts in a neutral way, and it’s guilt-free fun. It looks entirely different, it’s fun to drive and it doesn’t harm the planet. Never in my life have I driven a car that drives like that. Nothing drives like it.’

temptation to make a quick exit, as going at speed can push water into the engine bay, crawl through the water very slowly in first gear. Keep the engine revs up by slipping the clutch if necessary, to avoid water entering the exhaust pipe. While many cars will get through quite severe floods, there are a number of dangers. Apart from shorted-out electrics on petrol cars, there is also a risk of the engine sucking in water which, being incompressible, will cause it to lock solid (hydraulic lock), smashing connecting rods, pistons, even crankshafts. If the water is fast-moving, there is also a risk that the car could be carried off into deeper flood water with you inside. Even SUVs and 4x4s need to use caution. Experts at Land Rover advise entering the water slowly (about 1-2mph), before accelerating to about 3-4mph. This creates a bow wave in front of the vehicle, which will create a depression in the engine bay and keep the air intake clear of water. Even going too fast into shallow puddles

can lead to aquaplaning, where the tyres will no longer steer the car and you lose control, and did you know it is illegal to soak pedestrians? Once you are through the water, dry the brakes by using them gently, and if there were leaves in the water, check the radiator matrix for blockages. If your car does get stuck in the flood and stops, leave the bonnet closed to avoid any further water getting to the engine, climb out, lock the car and wade to dry land. In direst emergencies, you could try winding the car out by operating the starter in first or reverse gear but few starter motors will stand that sort of punishment so don’t rely on it. A third of flood-related deaths involve drivers taking unnecessary risks in a vehicle. In 2013, the second wettest on record in the UK, floods claimed the lives of several motorists. In the same period, the AA rescued almost 9,000 vehicles that had driven through or were stuck in flood water, with an estimated insurance bill of more than £34 million.

nissan’s Blade glider to go into production



Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

10 J a n u a r y

Friday - TV 06:00: Breakfast 09:15: Wanted Down Under 10:00: Homes Under the Hammer 11:00: Rip Off Britain 11:45: Real Lives Reunited 12:15: Bargain Hunt 13:00: BBC News at One 13:45: Doctors 14:15: Father Brown 15:00: Perfection 15:45: Escape to the Country 16:30: Antiques Road Trip 17:15: Pointless 18:00: BBC News at Six 18:30: BBC London News 19:00: The One Show 19:30: Celebrity Mastermind 20:00: EastEnders 20:30: Miranda 21:00: Silent Witness 22:00: BBC News at Ten 22:35: The Graham Norton Show 23:25: EastEnders Omnibus 01:45: Weatherview 01:50: BBC News

06:55: 07:55: 08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 16:10: 17:05: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 23:20: 00:25: 00:55:

You’ve Been Framed! Jeremy Kyle Show USA Dinner Date The Real Housewives of DC Real Housewives of Orange County The Millionaire Matchmaker Emmerdale You’ve Been Framed! Jeremy Kyle Show Real Housewives of Orange County The Millionaire Matchmaker Dinner Date You’ve Been Framed! You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men The 40 Year Old Virgin Take Me Out Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men

06:00: 07:00: 07:45: 08:15: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 13:00: 16:15: 17:15: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:05: 23:55: 01:55:

06:00: 06:25: 07:20: 08:20: 09:30: 09:55: 10:20: 10:50: 11:50: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:10: 16:50: 17:20: 17:55: 19:00: 20:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:10:

Homes Under the Hammer Rip Off Britain Real Lives Reunited Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds Sacred Wonders of Britain Question Time BBC News BBC World News The Daily Politics Darts The Great British Winter Flog It! Eggheads Great British Railway Journeys Great British Garden Revival Mastermind Kangaroo Dundee Italy Unpacked QI Newsnight Darts Darts Question Time

Fresh Fields Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy Murder, She Wrote Wycliffe Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Fresh Fields Man About the House George and Mildred Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Agatha Christie’s Poirot Scott and Bailey The Vice Changeling


06:00: Daybreak 08:30: Lorraine 09:25: Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30: This Morning 11:25: ITV News 11:30: This Morning 12:30: Loose Women 13:30: ITV News 14:00: All Star Mr and Mrs 15:00: Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00: Britain’s Best Bakery 17:00: The Chase 18:00: ITV News London 18:30: ITV News 19:00: Emmerdale 19:30: Coronation Street 20:00: The Martin Lewis Money Show 20:30: Coronation Street 21:00: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 22:00: ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35: The Americans 23:35: Benidorm 00:25: Jackpot247

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06:00: 07:00:

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Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol The Sweeney Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals The Sweeney Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals Cheers Cheers Storage Wars The Matrix Revolutions Universal Soldier: Regeneration Hell on Wheels

08:20: 08:50: 09:25: 10:25: 11:00: 12:00: 12:05: 13:05: 14:10: 15:10: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:25: 01:10: 01:40:

07:30: 08:00: 09:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 21:40: 22:20: 23:00: 00:00: 00:40: 01:20: 02:00:

According to Jim Will and Grace Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Building the Dream Channel 4 News Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me A Place in the Sun Countdown Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown David Blaine Saw Coming Up The Big C

Home Shopping Later Live... with Jools Holland Later Live... with Jools Holland The Gadget Show Top Gear Man v Food: The Carnivore Chronicles Three Men in Another Boat Top Gear Top Gear Man v Food: The Carnivore Chronicles Three Men in Another Boat Top Gear QI XL Suits Not Going Out Not Going Out Mock the Week QI XL Not Going Out Not Going Out Mock the Week Suits

06:00 Children’s TV 08:50: Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00: Tickety Toc 09:15: The Wright Stuff 11:10: Bigger Big Body Squad 12:10: 5 News Lunchtime 12:15: Celebrity Big Brother 13:15: Jungle Babies 13:45: Neighbours 14:15: The Mentalist 15:15: Defending Our Kids 17:00: 5 News at 5 17:30: Neighbours 18:00: Jungle Babies 18:30: Newstalk Live 19:00: Police Interceptors 20:00: Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 21:00: Celebrity Big Brother 23:00: Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 23:30: Celebrity Big Brother 00:00: Super Casino

08:00: 09:00: 10:00: 11:30: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 14:30: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 17:30: 18:30: 19:30: 22:00: 23:00: 23:30: 23:45: 00:00: 01:00:

Good Morning Sports Fans Capital One Cup Copa Del Rey Football Barclays Premier League World Capital One Cup Copa Del Rey Football Barclays Premier League World Football Gold Capital One Cup Copa Del Rey Football Barclays Premier League World Football Gold The Fantasy Football Club Football The Fantasy Football Club Barclays Premier League Football Gold Football Gold FL 72 -Highlights The Fantasy Football Club

19:00: 19:25: 21:00: 22:30: 23:00: 23:25: 23:45: 00:15: 00:40: 01:00: 02:00:

11:00: 12:50: 15:00: 16:45: 18:40: 21:00: 23:25: 01:15:


Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes Doctor Who Sherlock EastEnders Family Guy Family Guy Live at the Electric American Dad! American Dad! Edinburgh Comedy Festival Live Live at the Electric

Guadalcanal Diary Donovan’s Reef Genevieve Cat Ballou Footloose Ghost Wayne’s World Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... and Spring

Copa Del Rey Football 07:00: Capital One Cup 08:00: Football Gold 08:15: Football Gold 08:30: Big Bash Cricket 12:00: Ringside 13:00: Rugby Union 16:00: Ringside 17:00: WWE Raw 19:00: Rugby Union 22:00: World Wrestling Entertainment Late Night Smackdown 00:00: World Wrestling Entertainment Late Night Bottom Line 01:00: Football’s Greatest International Teams 01:30: NFL

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


S a t u r d ay - T V 06:00: 10:00: 11:30: 12:00: 12:45: 13:00: 13:10: 13:15: 14:45: 16:30: 17:15: 17:25: 17:30: 18:15: 19:00: 20:30: 21:20: 22:10: 22:30: 23:55: 01:10: 01:15:

Breakfast Saturday Kitchen Live The Good Cook Football Focus Saturday Sportsday BBC News BBC London News Athletics Darts Final Score BBC News BBC London News Dynamo: Magician Impossible Reflex The Voice UK The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins Casualty BBC News Match of the Day The Football League Show Weatherview BBC News

06:00: 06:45: 07:05: 09:25: 12:25: 14:30: 16:30: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 20:30:

22:50: 23:55:

Beauty and the Geek You’ve Been Framed! Coronation Street Omnibus Emmerdale Omnibus Step Up Curly Sue You’ve Been Framed! You’ve Been Framed! You’ve Been Framed! Evan Almighty Tomorrow Never Dies 007 action thriller in which a media baron sets about triggering World War III so that his 24-hour news network can profit from exclusive coverage of the conflict. The Magaluf Weekender The Interpreter

06:00: 06:30: 07:55:

11 J a n u a r y th

This is BBC Two The Informer I Married a Witch Life on Earth Life on Earth Fred Dibnah’s Made in Britain Great British Railway Journeys The A to Z of TV Cooking A to Z of TV Gardening Summer Magic The Go-Between Darts Flog It! Nature’s Weirdest Events Dad’s Army Morecambe and Wise in Pieces QI XL Burke and Hare Darts They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

07:25: 07:40:

06:20: Murder, She Wrote 07:20: Blue Murder at St. Trinian’s 09:05: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10:15: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12:30: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 14:40: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 16:50: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 19:00: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 21:00: Agatha Christie’s Poirot 23:00: Prime Suspect

06:00: 06:45: 07:10: 07:40: 08:05: 08:35: 09:05:

09:10: 10:05: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 12:45: 12:50: 14:35: 16:30: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 20:30: 21:30: 22:15: 23:40: 00:30:

01:15: 01:35:

Tennison investigates a murder which has been staged to look like suicide. The case exposes a web of fraud, local government corruption and hollow relationships that lie beneath the respectable veneer of the community.

Judge Judy Judge Judy

07:50: 08:05: 08:30: 09:00: 09:25: 09:30: 10:30: 11:25: 11:45: 11:55: 13:55: 14:55: 15:55: 16:55: 17:05: 17:20: 19:00: 20:30: 21:45: 22:45: 23:00: 01:20:

09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:00: 13:30: 15:45: 17:35: 20:10:

22:00: 00:40:

Sooty Almost Naked Animals Almost Naked Animals Horrid Henry Victorious Deadtime Stories ITV News Dinner Date Murder, She Wrote Countrywise ITV News Columbo The Chase Boyzone at 20: No Matter What Show Me the Telly ITV News London ITV News Ice Age: The Meltdown Splash! Take Me Out The Jonathan Ross Show ITV News Miami Vice Jackpot247

The Sweeney Cheers Cheers Cheers Cheers Cheers Motorway Patrol Minder The Professionals I Want That Car Duck Dynasty Duck Dynasty Shalako A Reasonto Live, a Reason to Die Midway Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow Comedy sequel in which the trainee cops, who somehow always manage to triumph despite their incompetence, return yet again. Firefox The Dead Pool

06:10: 07:00: 08:00: 09:00: 09:30: 10:00: 10:30: 11:00: 11:25: 11:55: 12:30: 13:30: 16:05: 16:35: 17:10: 17:40: 18:10: 18:45: 19:15: 21:00: 22:00: 00:00: 05:55:

06:00: 07:10: 08:00: 09:00: 10:00: 10:30: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 15:30: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 21:40: 22:20: 23:00: 23:40: 00:40: 01:20: 02:00:

The Voice - Blind auditions: episode 1

BBC 1 - 19:00 - 20:30


he Voice is back for a third series and the famous red chairs are to be filled with a new line-up of megastars as pop icon kylie Minogue and kaiser Chiefs frontman Ricky wilson join Sir Tom Jones and in the search for the Uk’s next vocal sensation. This series welcomes new presenters Emma Willis and Marvin Humes who will be with the acts throughout the Blind Auditions, consoling and congratulating. The ever-popular coaches’ group


performance returns this year as Kylie Minogue, Sir Tom Jones, Ricky Wilson and perform an exciting arrangement of familiar songs… The auditions are about one thing and one thing only - The Voice. Each Coach picks the artist that they want to work with based solely on what they can hear. Facing away from the stage, the coaches cannot see what the artists look like – if they like what they hear and they want to mentor the voice, they hit their famous red buttons and turn round to see the performer.

American Football Highlights Transworld Sport The Morning Line Everybody Loves Raymond How I Met Your Mother How I Met Your Mother Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons The Taste Channel 4 Racing Channel 4 News Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Crocodile Dundee Hostages Wanted House of Flying Daggers Kirstie’s Vintage Gems

Home Shopping Ace of Cakes Top Gear Top Gear Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Flip Men Flip Men Lizard Lick Towing Lizard Lick Towing Top Gear Top Gear Storage Hunters Storage Hunters Lizard Lick Towing Lizard Lick Towing Top Gear Top Gear Storage Hunters Storage Hunters QI XL Not Going Out Not Going Out Not Going Out Mock the Week QI XL Not Going Out Not Going Out Not Going Out

06:00 08:10:

Children’s TV The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 08:30: Angelina Ballerina 08:45: Rupert Bear 09:00: Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:15: Jelly Jamm 09:30: LazyTown 10:00: Power Rangers: Megaforce 10:35: Slugterra 11:00: Access 11:05: Celebrity Big Brother 12:30: World’s Busiest Hotel 13:25: Police Interceptors 14:30: Columbo: How to Dial a Murder 16:05: Diagnosis Murder 18:05: Mr and Mrs Murder 19:00: CSI: NY 19:45: NCIS 21:40: 5 News Weekend 21:45: Celebrity Big Brother 22:45: Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Psych 00:00: Super Casino

06:00: 06:15: 06:30: 07:30:

Football Gold Football Gold FL72 Barclays Premier League 08:00: The Fantasy Football Club 09:00: Game Changers 10:00: Soccer A.M. 12:00: Football 14:30: Saturday Night Football: Team Talk 15:00: Gillette Soccer Saturday 17:00: Ford Saturday Night Football Live 20:00: Saturday Night Football: Game of the Day 22:00: Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 23:30: FL72 00:00: Saturday Reloaded 01:00: Saturday Night Football: Match Choice


19:30: 20:30: 22:40: 00:10: 01:15: 01:35: 02:00:

11:00: 13:00: 15:10: 17:05: 19:15: 21:00: 23:25: 01:05:

06:30: 07:30: 08:00: 11:30: 12:00: 13:00: 15:30: 17:45:

20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00:

01:00: 02:00:

Great Movie Mistakes IV: May the Fourth be with You Top Gear Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Family Guy Family Guy Family Guy American Dad! American Dad!

On the Town The Golden Compass King Solomon’s Mines Night at the Museum Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer Dogma Evil Dead II Micmacs

Ringside Ashes Modern Classics Big Bash Cricket Sporting Greats Ringside Rugby Union Rugby Union Rugby Union Heineken Cup Round 5 -Gloucester v Munster. Gloucester tackle Munster at Kingsholm in round five of the Heineken Cup pool stage. The hosts have the chance to close the gap at the top of Pool 6 here. Sporting Greats World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars WWE NXT World Wrestling Entertainment Late Night Smackdown Football Sporting Greats

editor Recommends



Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

12 J a n u a r y

Sunday - TV

06:00: Breakfast 07:35: Match of the Day 09:00: Andrew Marr Show 10:00: The Big Questions 11:00: Sunday Politics 12:15: MOTD2 Extra 13:00: BBC News 13:15: Moving On 14:00: Bargain Hunt 14:45: Real Lives Reunited 15:15: Escape to the Country 16:00: Songs of Praise 16:35: Dolphins: Spy in the Pod 17:35: BBC News 18:00: Countryfile 19:00: Celebrity Mastermind 19:30: Antiques Roadshow 20:30: Sherlock 22:00: BBC News 22:15: BBC London News 22:25: Match of the Day 2 23:25: The Revolution Will be Televised 23:55: Cemetery Junction 01:25: Weatherview 01:30: BBC News

06:00: 06:45: 09:30: 12:00: 13:10: 15:30: 17:45: 20:00: 21:00:

22:00: 00:25:

Beauty and the Geek Emmerdale Omnibus Coronation Street Omnibus Take Me Out The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Step Up The Incredible Hulk You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Holidays The Magaluf Weekender Cameras follow two groups of holidaymakers as they arrive for a long weekend of partying and debauchery at the Lively Hotel, guided by four colourful resort reps - Jordan, Imogen, Tobi and Ali. The Butterfly Effect Duplicity

06:00: 06:40: 08:05: 09:05: 10:00: 11:30: 12:15: 13:00: 17:00: 17:45: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:50: 00:40:

06:00: 06:10: 08:00: 09:00: 10:05: 12:20: 14:30: 16:45: 19:00: 21:00: 22:00:

00:40: 01:45:

This is BBC Two A Woman’s Secret Monty Don’s French Gardens Countryfile Saturday Kitchen Best Bites Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds Masters Snooker Ski Sunday Darts The Tea Trail with Simon Reeve Operation Grand Canyon with Dan Snow Let Me in Masters Snooker Highlights Masters Snooker Extra

Movies Now Larry Crowne Heartbeat Heartbeat Agatha Christie’s Poirot Agatha Christie’s Poirot Agatha Christie’s Poirot Agatha Christie’s Poirot Agatha Christie’s Poirot Being Poirot In the Name of the Father In a Britain frightened and angry after the IRA bomb campaign, Irishman Gerry Conlon is locked up with three friends and falsely accused of planting a bomb in a Guildford pub. Cracker Agatha Christie’s Poirot


09:25: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 11:35: 12:35: 13:35: 14:20: 15:50: 16:50: 18:00: 18:15: 19:45: 20:30: 21:00:

22:00: 22:15: 22:45: 23:45: 00:10:

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ITV News Dickinson’s Real Deal Murder, She Wrote ITV News Inside the National Trust The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Catchphrase Splash! All Star Mr and Mrs The Chase: Celebrity Special ITV News Dancing on Ice All Star Family Fortunes Dancing on Ice All New It’ll be Alright on the Night’s Best of the Worst ITV News Birds of a Feather Piers Morgan’s Life Stories River Monsters The Store

06:10: 06:35: 07:00: 07:25:

World of Sport Cheers Cheers Cheers Police, Camera, Action! Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol Ax Men The Professionals The Professionals The Professionals The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp Horizons West The Cimarron Kid Dirty Britain Absolute Power The Enforcer Police, Camera, Action! World’s Wildest Police Videos

07:10: 08:00: 10:00:

Tel. 922 714 500 Whale Watching Puerto Colon 2 Hours 22 euros

07:55: 08:25: 08:55: 09:30: 12:30: 13:00: 13:30: 14:00: 14:25: 15:00: 15:30: 17:40: 18:35: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 23:35: 01:40: 05:35:

10:30: 11:00: 12:20: 13:00: 15:00: 15:30: 16:00: 18:00: 19:20: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:55: 00:55: 01:55:

The Hoobs The Hoobs Will and Grace Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier Sunday Brunch How I Met Your Mother How I Met Your Mother Big Bang Theory Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons 27 Dresses Deal or No Deal Channel 4 News Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast Speed with Guy Martin Fast Five End of Days Southland Deal or No Deal

Hardliners Top Gear Man v Food Presents Man v Food Presents Red Dwarf Have I Got News for You Top Gear Man v Food Presents Man v Food Presents Top Gear Red Dwarf Have I Got News for You QI XL Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howard’s Good News QI XL Russell Howard’s Good News Russell Howard’s Good News

06:00 08:20: 08:40: 08:55: 09:15: 09:30: 10:00: 10:10: 10:45: 11:05: 11:10: 12:10: 13:15: 15:30: 17:10: 17:15: 19:05: 21:00: 22:00: 23:55: 00:55:

06:00: 07:00: 07:30: 08:30: 10:00: 12:00: 13:30:

16:00: 19:00: 20:00: 22:00: 23:30: 00:00: 01:00:

Children’s TV Angelina Ballerina Rupert Bear Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom Jelly Jamm LazyTown Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures Power Rangers: Super Samurai Slugterra Access Celebrity Big Brother World’s Worst Holiday Horrors Holes Space Jam 5 News Weekend Loch Ness My Super Ex-Girlfriend Celebrity Big Brother The Switch Hens Behaving Badly Super Casino

19:00: 20:35: 22:05: 22:30: 22:50: 23:15: 23:35: 00:05:

Football FL72 Game Changers The Sunday Supplement Goals on Sunday The Sunday Supplement Ford Super Sunday Newcastle United v Manchester City. Newcastle United and Manchester City meet at St James’ Park in the Barclays Premier League. City recorded a comprehensive 4-0 victory when the sides met at the Etihad Stadium in August. Ford Super Sunday La Liga La Liga Ford Football Special Scottish Premier League La Liga Ford Football Special


01:05: 01:35:

The Voice UK 102 Dalmatians Family Guy Family Guy American Dad! American Dad! Bad Education Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2011 Live at the Electric Bad Education

11:00: 13:00: 15:25:

The Violent Men Stardust Honey, I Blew Up the Kid 17:10: The Truman Show 19:15: Post Grad 21:00: Coming to America It´s the 21st birthday of Prince Akeem of Zamunda, and he is to marry a woman he has never seen before. 23:15: Sixteen Candles 01:10: No Escape


17:30: 00:30: 01:30:

Rugby Union Heineken Cup Round 5 - Ospreys v Northampton. Ospreys and Northampton Saints meet at the Liberty Stadium in round five of the Heineken Cup pool stage. The visitors could move level on points at the top of Pool 1 with victory. Rugby Union Heineken Cup Round 5 - Tolouse v Saracens. Saracens head to the Stade Ernest Wallon to face Toulouse in round five of the Heineken Cup pool stage. The sides are level on points at the top of Pool 3 coming into this game. NFL NFL European Rugby Special

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


13 J a n u a r y

M o n d ay - T V 09:15: 10:00: 11:00: 11:45: 12:15: 13:00: 13:45: 14:15: 15:00: 15:45: 16:30: 17:15: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:20: 00:05:

Wanted Down Under Homes Under the Hammer The Sheriffs are Coming Real Lives Reunited Bargain Hunt BBC News at One Doctors Father Brown Perfection Escape to the Country Antiques Road Trip Pointless BBC News at Six The One Show Inside Out EastEnders Fake Britain Special I Want My Baby Back BBC News at Ten Have I Got Old News for You Who Do You Think You Are? USA Graham Norton Show

06:00: 06:25: 07:25:

Emmerdale Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed! 07:45: Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:30: Dinner Date 09:30: The Real Housewives of DC 10:30: Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30: The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30: Emmerdale 13:00: Coronation Street 14:00: Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10: Real Housewives of Orange County 17:05: The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00: Dinner Date 19:00: You’ve Been Framed! 19:30: You’ve Been Framed! 20:00: Two and a Half Men 21:00: The Sweetest Thing 23:00: Fake Reaction 23:40: Two and a Half Men 00:10: Two and a Half Men

06:00: 06:05: 07:05: 07:50: 08:20: 09:05: 10:05: 10:35: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 20:30: 21:30: 22:30: 23:20: 00:10:

06:00: 06:25: 07:20: 08:20: 09:20: 10:15: 10:40: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:10: 16:40: 17:15: 17:50: 18:50: 19:55: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:10: 01:15:



This is BBC Two Homes Under the Hammer Rip Off Britain Real Lives Reunited Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds Britain and the Sea Britain’s Empty Homes Click BBC News The Daily Politics Masters Snooker Eggheads Great British Railway Journeys Great British Garden Revival University Challenge The Great Sport Relief Bake Off Sacred Wonders of Britain Newsnight Masters Snooker Highlights Masters Snooker Extra

Fresh Fields Heartbeat The Royal Murder, She Wrote Judge Judy Judge Judy Agatha Christie’s Poirot Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Fresh Fields Man About the House George and Mildred Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Agatha Christie’s Poirot Long Lost Family Trial and Retribution The Vice Agatha Christie’s Poirot The Blackheath Poisonings

06:00: 08:30: 09:25: 10:30: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 00:40:

06:00: 06:25: 06:50: 07:35: 08:30: 09:35: 10:35: 11:40: 12:40: 13:40: 14:10: 14:40: 15:50: 16:50: 17:55: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 20:30: 21:00: 21:30: 22:00: 23:00: 01:30:

Daybreak Lorraine Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather All Star Mr and Mrs Dickinson’s Real Deal Britain’s Best Bakery The Chase ITV News London ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street A Great Welsh Adventure with Griff Rhys Jones Coronation Street The Bletchley Circle ITV News at Ten and Weather 300 Jackpot247

06:30: 07:15: 08:05:

Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol The Sweeney Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals The Sweeney Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals Cheers Cheers Storage Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars Storage Wars Ax Men The Matrix Revolutions Hell on Wheels

06:00: 07:10: 08:00: 08:30: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00:

08:35: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 12:05: 14:10: 15:10: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:05: 00:10:

13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:40: 23:40: 00:40: 01:40:

Countdown Will and Grace Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier The Secret Millionaire Australia Building the Dream Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me A Place in the Sun Countdown Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Dogs: Their Secret Lives Benefits Street Dave: Loan Ranger American Football Playoff Highlights Random Acts Speed with Guy Martin

Children’s TV Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:45: Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00: Tickety Toc 09:15: The Wright Stuff 11:10: Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 12:10: 5 News Lunchtime 12:15: Celebrity Big Brother 13:15: Home and Away 13:45: Neighbours 14:15: NCIS 15:15: Love Begins 17:00: 5 News at 5 17:30: Neighbours 18:00: Home and Away 18:30: Newstalk Live 19:00: World’s Scariest Weather 20:00: Go Hard or Go Home 21:00: Celebrity Big Brother 22:00: Baby Faced Brides 23:00: Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 00:00: Living with ADHD: Louis Smith

Home Shopping Driving Wars The Gadget Show The Gadget Show Top Gear Top Gear Motorway Cops Three Men in More Than One Boat Top Gear Top Gear Motorway Cops Three Men in More Than One Boat Top Gear Top Gear QI XL Suits QI XL Would I Lie to You? Russell Howard’s Good News Extra QI XL QI XL Would I Lie to You?


06:00 08:35:

07:00: 08:00: 09:00: 10:30: 11:00: 12:00: 12:30: 14:00: 14:30: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 23:00: 00:00: 00:30: 01:30:

Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Ford Football Special FL72 La Liga Scottish Premiership Ford Football Special Scottish Premiership La Liga Game Changers Soccer A.M. -The Best Bits FL72 Ford Monday Night Football FL72 SPFL Round Up Soccer A.M. The Best Bits Ford Monday Night Football

19:00: 19:05:

19:35: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:25: 23:45:

Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes Great Movie Mistakes IV: May the Fourth be with You Monsters vs Aliens Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents Uncle EastEnders Family Guy American Dad!

11:00: 13:30: 15:05: 16:50: 19:00: 21:00:

A Town Like Alice The Tall T The Black Knight Jesse James Bugsy Malone Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Unconventionally structured, inventive and comic paean to the alternate universe of computer gaming. 23:15: Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow

06:00: 06:30: 08:00: 09:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00: 01:00: 02:00:

FL72 Ford Football Special FL72 European Rugby Special European Rugby Special NFL NFL Sporting Heroes NFL NFL European Rugby Special WWE Raw NFL NFL European Rugby Special NFL NFL European Rugby Special NFL

a Great Wesh adventure editor Recommends ITV - 20:00 - 20:30


riff Rhys Jones presents this brand new series on his native country wales, famed for its beautiful landscapes, friendly locals and Celtic traditions. Over eight episodes, Griff explores the land of his birth, appreciating the stunning scenery and searching for his inner welshman.

In each programme Griff visits a different part of Wales; Snowdonia, Gower, Pembrokeshire, Anglesey, Mid Wales, Conwy, Border, Brecon. He is also set challenges

designed to test his Celtic credentials and bring out his adventurous spirit. From searching for the Holy Grail to taking a dip in a mountain lake, Griff canoes, climbs, abseils and rides his way across the Welsh countryside in a bid to uncover the true spirit of Wales. In episode two, Griff visits the Gower peninsula, an area made up of 30 miles of dramatic coastlines, 50 beaches and 70 square miles of farm and common land. Griff’s challenge in this programme is to provide a meal for a famous Welsh rugby player using only locally sourced food. The Gower was once almost cut off from the mainland so has learnt to be self-sufficient and use locally sourced products.



Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

14 J a n u a r y

Tu e s d a y - T V

09:15: 10:00: 11:00: 11:45: 12:15: 13:00: 13:30: 13:45: 14:15: 15:00: 15:45: 16:30: 17:15: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:25: 22:35: 23:35: 01:15: 01:20:

07:25: 07:45: 08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 16:10: 17:05: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 23:30: 00:00: 00:25:

Wanted Down Under Homes Under the Hammer The Sheriffs are Coming Real Lives Reunited Bargain Hunt BBC News at One BBC London News Doctors Father Brown Perfection Escape to the Country Antiques Road Trip Pointless BBC News at Six BBC London News The One Show EastEnders Holby City Death in Paradise BBC News at Ten BBC London News Motorway Cops Disturbia Weatherview BBC News

You’ve Been Framed! Jeremy Kyle Show USA Dinner Date The Real Housewives of DC Real Housewives of Orange County The Millionaire Matchmaker Emmerdale Coronation Street Jeremy Kyle Show Real Housewives of Orange County The Millionaire Matchmaker Dinner Date You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men Tomorrow Never Dies Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

06:00: 06:05: 07:05: 07:50: 08:20: 09:05: 10:05: 10:35: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 13:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:20: 00:10:

06:00: 06:25: 07:20: 08:20: 09:25: 09:55: 10:20: 10:45: 13:00: 14:00: 15:05: 16:15: 16:45: 17:20: 17:55: 18:55: 20:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:10: 02:00:

This is BBC Two Homes Under the Hammer The Sheriffs are Coming Real Lives Reunited Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds Antiques Roadshow Britain’s Empty Homes HARDtalk BBC News BBC World News The Daily Politics Masters Snooker Eggheads Great British Railway Journeys Great British Garden Revival The Great Sport Relief Bake Off Wild Brazil House Of Fools Newsnight Masters Snooker Highlights Masters Snooker Extra

Fresh Fields Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy Agatha Christie’s Poirot Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Fresh Fields Man About the House George and Mildred Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Midsomer Murders Trial and Retribution The Vice The Railway Children ITV3 Nightscreen


06:00: 08:30: 09:25: 10:30: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:35: 00:05:

06:00: 06:25: 06:45: 07:35: 08:05: 08:35: 09:40: 10:40: 11:40: 12:45: 13:50: 14:20: 14:50: 15:55: 16:55: 17:55: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 21:30: 22:00: 00:30: 01:30:

Daybreak Lorraine Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather All Star Mr and Mrs Dickinson’s Real Deal Britain’s Best Bakery The Chase ITV News London ITV News and Weather Emmerdale River Monsters Weight Loss Ward Paul O’Grady’s Animal Orphans ITV News at Ten and Weather Sports Life Stories The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Jackpot247

Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol The Sweeney Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals The Sweeney Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals Cristiano Ronaldo: Footballing Superstar I Want That Car Duck Dynasty Duck Dynasty Absolute Power Minder The Sweeney

08:00: 08:30: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 12:05: 14:10: 15:10: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:55: 23:55: 00:00: 00:55: 01:25:

06:00: 07:10: 08:00: 08:30: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:40: 23:20: 00:00: 01:00: 01:40:

Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier The Secret Millionaire Australia Building the Dream Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me A Place in the Sun Countdown Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Location, Location, Location The Taste Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA The Undateables Random Acts Pokerstars.Com Ept Barcelona KOTV Boxing Weekly Transworld Sport

Home Shopping Driving Wars The Gadget Show The Gadget Show Top Gear Top Gear Traffic Cops Three Men in More Than One Boat Top Gear Top Gear Traffic Cops Three Men in More Than One Boat Top Gear Top Gear Flip Men Flip Men Suits QI XL Mock the Week Mock the Week Never Mind the Buzzcocks QI XL Mock the Week Mock the Week

06:00 09:15: 11:10: 12:10: 12:15: 13:15: 13:45: 14:15: 15:15: 17:00: 17:30: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 00:00:


Children’s TV The Wright Stuff World’s Worst Holiday Horrors 5 News Lunchtime Celebrity Big Brother Home and Away Neighbours NCIS Too Late to Say Goodbye 5 News at 5 Neighbours Home and Away Newstalk Live Highland Emergency Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun Celebrity Big Brother Autopsy: Whitney Houston’s Last Hours Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side Botched Up Bodies

Good Morning Sports Fans 08:00: Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00: Ford Monday Night Football 11:30: SPFL Round Up 12:00: FL72 13:00: Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 14:00: Ford Monday Night Football 16:30: Football Gold 17:00: SPFL Round Up 17:30: Barclays Premier League Review 18:30: Football Gold 19:00: Football’s Greatest International Teams 19:30: Gillette Soccer Special 22:00: Barclays Premier League Review 23:00: Football’s Greatest International Teams 23:30: Football Gold 00:00: Football Asia 00:30: Barclays Premier League Review

19:00: Don’t Tell the Bride 20:00: Tough Young Teachers 21:00: Underage and Over the Limit 22:00: Bad Education 22:30: EastEnders 23:00: Family Guy 23:45: American Dad! 00:30: Underage and Over the Limit 01:30: Bad Education 02:00: Tough Young Teachers

11:00: 12:40: 14:50: 17:00: 18:50: 21:00: 23:45: 01:55:

06:00: 08:30: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 16:30:

19:30: 22:30: 23:30: 00:30: 01:00: 02:00:

Carry on Sergeant Operation Pacific Donovan’s Reef When Eight Bells Toll The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec True Lies Working Girl Little Miss Sunshine

Ford Monday Night Football Big Bash Cricket Ashes Modern Classics Sporting Greats Big Bash Cricket Ashes Modern Classics Mcgrath. A look back into the archives to relive the Ashes careers of ten legends of the modern game. This episode features Australia’s Glenn McGrath. Revista De La Liga Special Weber Cup Ten Pin Bowling 2013 Sports Unlimited Sporting Greats Poker 100 Greatest Moments Weber Cup Ten Pin Bowling 2013

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


We d n e s d ay - T V 06:00: Breakfast 09:15: Wanted Down Under 10:00: Homes Under the Hammer 11:00: The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45: Real Lives Reunited 12:15: Bargain Hunt 13:00: BBC News at One 13:30: BBC London News 13:45: Doctors 14:15: Father Brown 15:00: Perfection 15:45: Escape to the Country 16:30: Antiques Road Trip 17:15: Pointless 18:00: BBC News at Six 18:30: BBC London News 19:00: The One Show 20:00: EastEnders 20:30: Waterloo Road 21:30: Live at the Apollo 22:00: BBC News at Ten 22:25: BBC London News 22:35: A Question of Sport 23:05: Tropic Thunder 00:45: Weatherview 00:50: BBC News

07:25: 07:45: 08:30: 09:30: 10:30: 11:30: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 16:10: 17:05: 18:00: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:00: 23:50: 00:20:

You’ve Been Framed! Jeremy Kyle Show USA Dinner Date The Real Housewives of DC Real Housewives of Orange County The Millionaire Matchmaker Emmerdale The Cube Jeremy Kyle Show Real Housewives of Orange County The Millionaire Matchmaker Dinner Date You’ve Been Framed! You’ve Been Framed! Two and a Half Men Benidorm The Magaluf Weekender Fake Reaction Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men

06:00: 07:00: 07:45: 08:15: 09:00: 10:00: 10:30: 11:00: 11:30: 13:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:20: 00:10:

06:00: 06:25: 07:20: 08:20: 09:25: 09:55: 10:20: 10:45: 13:00: 14:00: 15:05: 16:15: 16:45: 17:20: 17:50: 18:55: 19:55: 22:00:

23:00: 00:10: 02:00:

Homes Under the Hammer The Sheriffs are Coming Real Lives Reunited Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds Great Continental Railway Journeys Kangaroo Dundee See Hear BBC News The Daily Politics Masters Snooker Eggheads Great British Railway Journeys Nature’s Weirdest Events The Great Sport Relief Bake Off Wild Brazil Mock the Week Newsnight Masters Snooker Highlights Masters Snooker Extra

Fresh Fields Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy Agatha Christie’s Poirot Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Fresh Fields Duty Free George and Mildred Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Doc Hollywood DCI Banks Crime drama series. A mysterious phone message leads DCI Banks to Harrogate to search for his estranged younger brother, Roy. The Vice Prime Suspect ITV3 Nightscreen

06:00: 08:30: 09:25: 10:30: 11:25: 11:30: 12:30: 13:30: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 19:30: 20:00: 22:00: 22:35: 23:40: 00:35:

06:00: 06:25: 06:50: 07:35: 08:05: 08:40: 09:40: 10:40: 11:45: 12:50: 13:50: 14:20: 14:50: 15:55: 16:55: 18:00: 19:00: 19:35: 22:00: 23:00: 01:45:


15 J a n u a r y th

Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning ITV News This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather All Star Mr and Mrs Dickinson’s Real Deal Britain’s Best Bakery The Chase ITV News London ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Midsomer Murders ITV News at Ten and Weather The Jonathan Ross Show The Cube Jackpot247

Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol The Sweeney Cheers Cheers Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals The Sweeney Police, Camera, Action! Motorway Patrol Kojak Magnum, P.I. Minder The Professionals Cheers The Horse Soldiers Hell on Wheels The Outlaw Josey Wales The Sweeney

08:00: 08:30: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 12:05: 14:10: 15:10: 16:00: 17:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:05: 00:05: 00:10:


07:00: 07:10: 07:35: 08:00: 08:30: 09:00: 10:00: 11:00: 12:00: 12:30: 13:00: 14:00: 15:00: 16:00: 16:30: 17:00: 18:00: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 23:40: 00:40: 01:40:

Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier The Secret Millionaire Australia Building the Dream Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me A Place in the Sun Countdown Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Restoration Man 24 Hours in A and E Finding Mum and Dad Benefits Street Random Acts Launched at Red Bull Studios with Sony Xperia Smartphones What Happens in Sunny Beach...

06:00 Children’s TV 08:45: Bananas in Pyjamas 09:05: Tickety Toc 09:15: The Wright Stuff 11:10: Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 12:10: 5 News Lunchtime 12:15: Celebrity Big Brother 13:15: Home and Away 13:45: Neighbours 14:15: NCIS 15:15: Flower Girl 17:00: 5 News at 5 17:30: Neighbours 18:00: Home and Away 18:30: Newstalk Live 19:00: Extraordinary People 20:00: Bigger Big Body Squad 21:00: Celebrity Big Brother 22:30: Hens Behaving Badly 23:30: Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 00:20: Pokerstars: The Big Game

Carpool The Gadget Show The Gadget Show Flip Men Flip Men Top Gear Top Gear Traffic Cops Flip Men Flip Men Top Gear Top Gear Traffic Cops Flip Men Flip Men Top Gear Top Gear QI XL Suits Have I Got a Bit More News for You Al Murray Live: Barrel of Fun QI XL Have I Got a Bit More News for You Al Murray Live: Barrel of Fun

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 09:00: 12:00: 13:00: 13:30: 16:30: 17:00: 17:55: 18:25: 20:30: 22:30: 23:30: 00:00: 01:00: 02:00:

Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Good Morning Sports Fans Revista De La Liga Special Barclays Premier League Review Football Asia Revista De La Liga Special Football Gold Barclays Premier League Review Football’s Greatest International Teams Copa Del Rey Football Copa Del Rey Football What’s the Story? Football Gold Copa Del Rey Football Copa Del Rey Football What’s the Story?

19:00: 19:05: 19:55: 22:00: 23:00: 23:30: 00:15: 00:35: 01:05:

Great Movie Mistakes Top Gear Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents EastEnders Family Guy American Dad! Uncle Underage and Over the Limit

11:00: Cry ‘Havoc’ 12:55: Guadalcanal Diary 14:45: Kidnapped 16:50: One Million Years B.C. 18:50: Night at the Museum 21:00: District 13: Ultimatum 22:55: The Last Temptation of Christ Willem Dafoe stars as Christ, with Harvey Keitel as Judas, Barbara Hershey as Mary Magdalene.

06:00: 07:00: 08:00: 08:30: 12:00: 13:00: 16:30:


18:00: 23:30:

Game Changers Barclays Premier League Review Ashes Modern Classics Big Bash Cricket Ashes Modern Classics Big Bash Cricket Ashes Modern Classics A look back into the archives to relive the Ashes careers of ten legends of the modern game. This episode features Australia’s Justin Langer. WWE Bottom Line Catch up on all the latest events from Monday Night Raw, featuring the best matches and the WWE’s most exciting superstars. This programme contains flashing images. Big Bash Cricket Big Bash Cricket

The Great Sports Relief Bake editor Recommends off BBC 2 - 20:00 - 21:00


he Bake Off is back, and this time 16 celebrity Sport Relief supporters will whisk their way through the Bake Off tent in an effort to cook up some serious cash for charity in The Great Sport Relief Bake Off.

Four more celebrities with mixed baking abilities battle it out in the Bake Off tent in this episode presented by comedian Omid Djalili. Judged by legendary cookery writer Mary Berry and acclaimed Master Baker Paul Hollywood, the celebrity who rises to the occasion will win the coveted title of Sport Relief

Star Baker. Olympic gold-medal winner Nicola Adams will be in South Africa, showing one of the projects that Sport Relief cash supports and how the money raised really makes a difference. Episode two will see the celebrities take on a tray bake for their signature challenge, while Mary and Paul will be hoping the celebrities achieve a hole in one on their technical bake (doughnut). The showstopper (a layer cake representing a sporting hero) demands that the celebrities up their game and for some there are tears in the tent. Who will put the icing on the cake and who will end up sobbing into their sponge mix? It’s all to play for in this closely fought episode.



Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Thursday - TV

06:00: Breakfast 09:15: Wanted Down Under 10:00: Homes Under the Hammer 11:00: The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45: Real Lives Reunited 12:15: Bargain Hunt 13:00: BBC News at One 13:30: BBC London News 13:45: Doctors 14:15: Father Brown 15:00: Perfection 15:45: Escape to the Country 16:30: Antiques Road Trip 17:15: Pointless 18:00: BBC News at Six 18:30: BBC London News 19:00: The One Show 19:30: EastEnders 20:00: Hidden Kingdoms 21:00: Silent Witness 22:00: BBC News at Ten 22:25: BBC London News 22:35: Question Time 23:35: This Week 00:20: Skiing Weatherview 00:25: BBC News

06:25: 06:55:

Coronation Street You’ve Been Framed! 07:45: The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:30: Dinner Date 09:30: The Real Housewives of DC 10:30: Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30: The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30: Emmerdale 13:00: Coronation Street 13:30: You’ve Been Framed! 14:00: Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10: Real Housewives of Orange County 17:05: The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00: Dinner Date 19:00: You’ve Been Framed! 20:00: Two and a Half Men 21:00: Tricked 22:00: Fake Reaction 22:50: The Sweetest Thing 00:40: Two and a Half Men 01:35: Tricked

06:00: 06:05: 07:05: 07:50: 08:20: 09:05: 10:05: 10:35: 11:00: 11:30: 12:00: 13:00: 18:00: 18:30: 19:00: 20:00: 21:00: 22:00: 22:30: 23:20: 00:10:

06:00: 06:25: 07:20: 08:20: 09:30: 09:55: 10:20: 10:45: 12:55: 13:55: 15:00: 16:10: 16:45: 17:15: 17:50: 18:50: 19:55:

22:00: 23:00: 00:10:

This is BBC Two Homes Under the Hammer The Sheriffs are Coming Real Lives Reunited Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds Tudor Monastery Farm Kangaroo Dundee HARDtalk BBC News BBC World News The Daily Politics Masters Snooker Eggheads Great British Railway Journeys Masters Snooker The Great Sport Relief Bake Off Wild Brazil Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe Newsnight Masters Snooker Highlights Masters Snooker Extra

Fresh Fields Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Judge Judy Judge Judy Judge Judy Agatha Christie’s Poirot Heartbeat The Royal Agatha Christie’s Poirot Fresh Fields Duty Free George and Mildred Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote A Touch of Frost When a beautiful woman is found dead in a car park, the list of suspects leads Jack Frost into the heart of a religious community. DCI Banks The Vice A Touch of Frost

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16 J a n u a r y th

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Copa Del Rey Football 07:00: Copa Del Rey Football 08:00: Football Gold 08:15: Football Gold 08:30: Big Bash Cricket 12:00: World Pool Masters 13:00: Big Bash Cricket 16:30: Football’s Greatest International Teams 17:00: FL72 18:00: Ringside 18:55: Copa Del Rey Football 21:00: Copa Del Rey Football Copa Del Rey Round 5 - 2nd Leg -Getafe v Barcelona. Getafe entertain Barcelona at the Coliseum Alfonso Perez in the second leg of their fifth-round tie in the Copa Del Rey. 23:00: World Wrestling Entertainment Late Night Raw 01:00: WWE NXT 02:00: Ringside

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014



Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


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Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


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Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


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Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

Winter dates for Qatar

World Cup 2022?

ferrari vigil for schumacher’s Birthday


AST Friday, on his 45th birthday Michael Schumacher’s former team, Ferrari Mark F1 brought coachloads of fans to the hospital in Grenoble where he is fighting for his life. The carmaker, which has 130 clubs in Europe, provided about 20 coaches across Italy to bus in fans for the racer’s birthday.

The fans held a silent vigil outside the hospital where he remains in a coma following a skiing accident on Sunday 29th December. They left a poster outside the Grenoble hospital saying: “Schumi, All our Thoughts for You and Your Family.” Stefano Pini, who arrived from Milan to pay tribute, said: “Schumi has given us a lot in the past, the least we could do is to come here and support him and his family on his birthday.” The Ferrari team, brought supporters from all over Italy and France to the hospital, and also posted a message on its website, saying “Forza Michael,” or “Go Michael” in Italian. Schumacher’s old team also said “He is tackling the most important fight of his life and therefore we want to send him very special wishes.” Messages and tributes to the legend are com-

ing from all over the word, from simple tweets to elaborate sand sculptures like Indian sand artist Sudarsan Pattnaik’s message, but controversy surrounds the Ferrari tribute - with some accusing the Italian racing giant - which asked fans to sport its trademark colour red and its insignia - of exceeding the limits of good taste, Roberto Luongo, president of the Roma-Colesseo Ferrari club, refused to be associated with an event linked to “a man who is suffering”. He added: “It’s very delicate and if I was among those who are close to Michael, such an initiative would not have pleased me.” Schumacher slammed his head against a rock while skiing in the French Alps and has had two operations to remove bleeding and pressure on his brain. He is being kept in an induced coma and in the latest health update given by his manager on Wednesday 1st January, his condition was described as stable but still critical. His father Rolf and brother Ralf, as well as his wife Corinna and children Gina-Maria, 16, and 14-year-old Mick were at his bedside on his birthday. A statement from the family said: “Following Michael’s skiing accident, we would like to thank the people from all around the world who have expressed their sympathy and sent their best wishes for his recovery.”


t may seem a long way off but the 2022 world Cup is already a HOT topic, FIFA’s second most powerful official, Jerome Valcke, has said the 2022 world Cup in Qatar will not be held in June and July, breaking from tradition. FIFA, however, quickly called this statement “an opinion.”

Jerome Valcke does not expect the 2022 World Cup in Qatar to be played in the northern hemisphere’s summer, the European club football off-season, as is tradition. Valcke said: “The dates for the World Cup [in Qatar] will not be June-July, to be honest, I think it will be held between November 15 and January 15 at the latest. If you play between November 15 and the end of December that’s the time when the weather conditions are best, when you can play in temperatures

equivalent to a warm spring season in Europe, averaging 25 degrees Celsius (77 Fahrenheit).” He did not specify whether the World Cup would be moved forward or backwards, leaving it theoretically possible that Qatar 2022 could be played in late 2021, or early 2023.However, the Winter Olympics are scheduled to take place early in 2022, perhaps speaking in favor of a delay to the competition to avoid a clash. FIFA spokeswoman Delia Fischer soon after Valcke’s interview, stated that FIFA had made no official decision on the matter and that Valcke was merely expressing “his view.” FIFA said in a statement that no final decision would be reached prior to this year’s World Cup, held at the usual time in Brazil. But, with similar previous comments from FIFA President Sepp Blatter - and UEFA head Michel Platini - the retraction might have come too late.

facebook likes Barcelona


ARCELOnA announced last Thursday that their football team has become the first ever sports club to reach 50 million followers on social networking website Facebook. The club said on their website that Barca’s Facebook page, which provides fans with photo and video content of the Spanish soccer champions, has the most followers in Indonesia with 4.73 million, followed by Mexico (3.5 million), Brazil (2.5 million), United States (2.1 million) and Turkey (1.75 million), Cairo is the city with the most Barca followers with 746,000, followed by Mexico City (666,000), Jakarta (623,000), Lima (481,000) and Bogota (420,000). Didac Lee, a Barca director responsible for new technology said:

“Being the first sports club in the world to reach 50 million Facebook fans is a source of pride and at the same time a responsibility towards our followers, Barca is the world’s most popular club and this is just the latest evidence of that.” Rival Spanish club Real Madrid are not far behind Barca with 46.7 million, while Real’s Portugal forward Cristiano Ronaldo has nearly 69 million and Barca’s Argentine World Player of the Year Lionel Messi 52 million. Barca said their Facebook page was among the 30 most followed overall, although they are way behind popular recording artists, like singer Rihanna on 82 million, rapper Eminem with just under 80 million and Colombian pop star Shakira, whose partner Gerard Pique plays for Barca and Spain, has almost 77 million followers.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014


Brand Ronaldo’s Goal Angrily Tribute To Legend Tweets A “Smug” Gallagher fter scoring his 400th career goal, Cristiano Ronaldo dedicated his two goals in Real Madrid’s 3-0 win over Celta Vigo to Portgual legend Eusebio. Ronaldo seemed to pay tribute to his much-loved compatriot by raising his arms to the sky after his second landmark goal.


e’s not normally a person you’d associate with the sports pages but controversial comedian and West Ham fanatic Brand has tweeted a pop at ‘smug’ City fan Noel Gallagher over Capital One Cup semi-final mauling. The Hammers’ chances of reaching Wembley aren’t hopeful after the first-leg mauling at the Etihad Stadium, but Brand claims it’s not over yet.

Ronaldo’s brace has made him the fourth highest scorer for Real Madrid in La Liga history. A minute’s silence was held at Real’s Bernabeu stadium before kick-off in memory of Eusebio, who died aged 71 from a heart attack at the weekend. Ronaldo said: “I dedicate these two goals to you Eusebio but in fact you were the one who scored them. You’ll always be in my heart. “We have lost one of the greatest players of all time.” Widely considered one of the best players of all time, Eusebio was top scorer with nine goals at the 1966 World Cup in England, famed for his blistering acceleration and dazzling dribbling, he scored 733 times in 745 professional matches.

Taking to social networking sit Twitter to have a go at high profile Manchester City fan Noel Gallagher, claiming the former Oasis star shouldn’t get too ‘smug’ over Wednesday’s 6-0 Capital One semi-final humiliation. City fans he says, should remember the tie is over two legs and hash-tagged his message ‘#7attheBoleyn’ Russell is stating a fact of course, but the flip side is that there would be no surprise if another 90 minutes only sparked a further City goal rush and if the Irons play that badly again at Upton Park in the return leg, it could be City bagging the seven in East London.


ormer England striker Ian Wright believes England forward Theo Walcott may never “truly get over” missing out on the World Cup in Brazil. He’s speaking from experience, Arsenal’s secondhighest goalscorer with 185 goals in 288 appearances, Wright missed out on representing England at the 1998 World Cup in France because of a hamstring injury. Talking to BBC Sport, Wright said: “He’ll be devastated to miss a special World Cup, with it being in Brazil - a fantastic place, a fantastic venue for the World Cup - it’s a nightmare one to miss.It’s one of those you don’t truly get over. He’s an intelligent lad. I’m sure he’ll bounce back, but he’ll be absolutely

Walcott’s World Cup Nightmare devastated.” Walcott is expected to be out for six months with the knee injury he suffered in

Arsenal’s FA Cup win over Tottenham. The 24-year-old will undergo surgery “in the near

future” but has been ruled out for the rest of the season and this summer’s World Cup.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

the SportS SCene By Colin Kirby

redemption in murcia for Cd tenerife


ORE determination and team work ensured a 1-2 away win at Murcia to at least partially erase the 0-3 home loss to Sabadell before the break. At times it wasn’t pretty on a heavy pitch but CD Tenerife stuck to their task and got their reward.

Ayoze was back and showed how vital he is to the side, hopefully it wont encourage his many admirers at other clubs as the January transfer window is open. Several players needed big games to underline their commitment, Aridane was in that category and responded well scoring after 11 minutes thanks to the hard work of Ayoze. Loro was back in favour, he often

is for away games, and that helped the balance of the team, Chechu had a strong game but the slender lead was pegged back just before the half hour by a Kike Garcia strike after a poorly cleared Saul pass. Tenerife could have buckled at this point but dug in and made things happen, Ayoze put pressure on the home defence and it paid off as Mauro used too much force to stop him and gave away a penalty. Loro showed a cool head and slotted home the ball to regain the lead. Reveling in his return Loro had the right idea early in the second half when he slipped the ball through for Ayoze but it was just too far for him to get a boot to. There were plenty of scary moments, Acciari wasted a headed chance in front of the Tenerife goal and some of the defending was desperate but it worked. Kike Garcia spurned another gift wrapped opening, it was Tenerife’s day though and the win moved them up to 15th place, two straight home games can make things look even rosier starting with Sporting in Santa Cruz this Sunday at 5pm.

pick Your distance on five on the Bounce the golden mile run for iberostar tenerife T he in form sports team on the island is Iberostar Tenerife basketball team, they have just wracked up five straight wins and now sit in fifth spot in Spain’s elite ACB League. High scoring has been a feature of their game but the latest victory, 75-59 at


OR SERIOUS athletes and keen enthusiasts the Tenerife Golden Mile Run on Saturday 18 January is their chance to burn up a 10 km course around Playa de Las Americas. For those with more modest fitness levels there’s the 5

km version and for children there are choices tailored to their ages.

This years challenge will also be collecting food and toys for the needy, and it will be a great spectacle to watch. Some 2,000 runners will pound the streets around the busy commercial area. Categories are 6 &

7 years, 8 & 9, and 10 and 11, these will all run 400 metre races. For 12 and 13 year olds the dash is 800 metres, and 14 and 15 year olds will have to complete 1,200 metres. The course begins outside the Hotel Villa Cortes and loops round into Avenida Americas before finishing outside the Hard Rock Café.

home to Cajasol, showed their defensive strength as well with a 19-7 third quarter that killed off the match. The Seville side had no answer to the power of the home team, Blagota Sekulic led the way with 14 points, the versatile Luke Sikma and Nico Richotti added 10 each as they delighted the 4,092 crowd in La Laguna. This weekend they face a tough

test as they travel to play second placed Valencia. The individual honours for last year were also dominated by Tenerife players, Blagota Sekulic was the ACB league’s player of the month for December with Saul Blanco and Ricardo Uriz tucked in second and third. Blagota also finished as the top scorer for 2013, quite an achievement.


tarting the second half of the Tercera division fixtures a win was vital to keep CD Marino in the top four promotion play off spots. Visiting neighbours UD Las Zocas showed dogged resistance but couldn’t shackle the lethal striker Murci from bagging both in a 2-0 home win. On a ropey pitch bearing the scars of the previous weeks Arona 7’s tournament it took Marino a while to get going but they dominated the first half. The tackles were crunching and there was plenty of extra edge to this clash not just due to the near distance but also the flow of Marino men to Las Zocas, coach Willy Barroso was a long term gaffer with the Las Americas club and Rayco and Saul had both previously worn the blue shirt.

Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

While Rayco barked the orders in the middle and the powerful Cabrera shored up the visiting defence the adventurous Jesua was their main strik-

ing threat with an early shot across Alberto’s goal and a long curling shot just wide of the post. Pulido was first to test their goalie, his fierce shot gave

Murci Goal Power Gives CD Marino A Winning Turn

Isaac work to do. Murci is a clever and persistent forward and Cabrera had only limited success against him, after 12 minutes he forced his way into the goal mouth and with great control hooked the ball at waist height into the net. Jesua tried another couple of speculative long shots, Las Zocas seemed to lack the confidence to take the ball closer for a better angle. Josimar was having a good tussle with the Las Zocas left back and Lamine was working hard in midfield for Marino. Helio did the hard work to create an opening but his hurried shot didn’t trouble Alberto and it was Aaron Darias at the other end who could have increased the lead but chose something between a shot and a cross. Marino were well in control but needed to underline their superiority, just after the break Cabrera

Welsh Swimmers Find A Welcome In Los Cristianos


n a week of high seas and big waves the Wales swimming squad found the perfect training base for this years Commonwealth Games. The municipal outdoor pool in Los Cristianos was home to an intense training schedule for 15 swimmers with an eye on the big event in Glasgow this summer. Martin Woodruff, National Performance Director and Head Coach took a break from his stop watch, form guide, and words of encouragement to give me a stroke by stroke guide to the training camp. “Our national centre is in Swansea but we flew in from Gatwick on Thursday, we were in the pool early on Friday at the start of just over a weeks stay. The squad ranges in ages from 17 to 24 and are mostly gathered from the Swansea and Cardiff clubs.”

It certainly looked testing as they pounded up and down their three allocated lanes, national pride was evident in their swim caps and a few GB track suits and even tattoos showed that many had plenty of international experience. Martin mentioned a couple of swimmers with medals already in their lockers. “Jazz Carlin is 23 and was at the last Commonwealth Games in Delhi in 2010 and won bronze at 400 metres and silver at 200 metres. Leuan Lloyd took three golds at the 2011 Commonwealth Youth Games and competed at London 2012 for GB.” So why pick Tenerife as a training base? “The weather and the great facilities mean we can have uninterrupted swimming with no distractions, several of the squad have been before and Team Manager Gill Jacob has been three times. Club Activo have done a great job of organizing everything for us from accommodation at Hotel Paradise Park just up the hill to making sure our equipment is


stored and ready when we need it. We are doing two sessions most days, 7.30 to 9.30 am and 2.30 to 4.30 pm, 15 altogether during our stay. As well as the swimming it’s a chance for our six strong coaching staff to get to know each other and the swimmers better.” From here on until the games in the pace doesn’t let up. “ The selection trials are in April at the Glasgow centre where the big event takes place, then there are more training camps in France, Spain, and finally London before flying up to the games in July. The pool looks pretty impressive, it’s an 8 year old venue expanded with more seating and a second 50 metre pool. Last time we set a target of five medals and won four, this time we are aiming higher for seven. It’s going to be tough, Australia and South Africa will be among the leaders and of course Scotland will have home support but we have a lot of talent and will be well prepared.”

tried to block Murci’s route to goal but some nifty footwork left him watching as the striker tucked the ball in the net making him the division’s top scorer on 14 goals. Las Zocas tried to come back, Helio picked up a loose ball but an outstretched foot from Alberto stopped his shot and from another break the home keeper showed his agility to pull off a stunning mid air save. Las Zocas were a spent force, Marino were able to

welcome back long term injured forward Airam Garcia as Murci went off. David Garcia had a short stay as a sub for Las Zocas, he got a straight red denying his side any further say in the game. In the end it was a stroll for Marino, this weekend they go to El Cotillo, their away form is their weak spot and Murci could do with a little more support up front but they are well placed to make a genuine promotion challenge.


Tenerife Weekly - 10th January 2014 - 16th January 2014

QuiCK CrossWord


aCRoSS 1. Snatched 5. Car’s transmission 9. Watched over 10. Musical time 11. Dark wood

12. Private teaching 13. Confronts 15. Giant 17. Russian rulers 20. Contagious disease

21. Raven’s cry 23. Rice field 27. Sail poles 30. Wooden carton 32. Detailed & thorough (2-5)

33. Expect 34. LP record 35. Unshackle 36. Tells off, ... down 37. Concentrated flavour

DoWN 1. Gladden 2. Nuclear 3. Sexist people 4. Appointments records 5. Dizzier 6. Fervent

7. Retire gracefully (3,3) 8. Taking bone photos (1-6) 14. Eject lava 16. Bring upon oneself 17. Water outlet

18. Give a leg up 19. Asian sauce 22. Pierced with spear 24. Kidnaps 25. Corrupt morally 26. White ant

28. Thinly spread 29. Tummyflattening exercises (3-3) 30. Mantras 31. Reddish-brown

av Rafael Puig 7, Playa De las americas arona ( In Front of Hotel Tenerife Sol)

Answers to the QUICK CROSSWORD are on page 2

Tenerife weekly issue 111 web  
Tenerife weekly issue 111 web  

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