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inside today: Why i’m smarter than you, p3; shenanigans, p5; this ain’t no party, p10; new age gobbledygook; p37



liBrary to Clear oUt BooKs to MaKe Way For BoUnCy Castle

aPril 1, 2013 VOluMe 19, nuMBer 1,898

don’t quote me but...

“Saw you brushing your teeth Thursday night, your hair in a ponytail and your glasses on. You sure were cute in your flannel pajamas.”


Getting rid of musty volumes to make way for fun

— Tom

monday: • Pawing through the Free Box: 9 a.m. • Returning see-through yoga pants to store: 10 a.m. • Gaper Slalom: 1 p.m., See Forever • Goggle Tan Hour: 2 p.m., Gorrono’s • Listen to someone else’s fabulous Hawaii off-season plans, 2:30 p.m., in line at Steaming Bean • Crushing PBRs: 9:30 p.m., The Buck tuesday: • Red Man Sighting! 10 a.m., Scraggly Edge • Children’s Chaos Hour: 1:30 p.m., library • F-bomb on the radio, 2:23 p.m., KOTO, oops • I can get you a toe, 3 o’clock this afternoon, with nail polish • Playing Taylor Swift on repeat while singing to my dog: 5 p.m., my place • The noodle show: 8 p.m., Old Timey Opry House • Local guy talks about his mustache, 10:45 p.m., Sheridan • Movie: “Something I don’t really want to see, but well, I have this Nugget Pass,” 5:30 and 8:15 p.m.


This rendering shows Kids Hill Development Company’s plans to build an amusement park in Upper Bear Creek Basin, where everything from mining to a ski resort has been proposed. [Courtesy image]

in OrBit: sunday focus: flattering & Cajolery snow job Coming tuesday: Yet another music preview

See ParK, Page 2

See Castle, Page 2

Owners scrap ski area plans, roller coasters in lofty basin instead


on Furry and Tom Capman of the Kids Hill Development Company have unveiled plans to develop an amusement park in Upper Bear Creek, Telluride’s legendary side-country playground. Bear Creek Funland is being touted as a family-friendly

destination for thrilling rides, water slides and kid-friendly features like a ferris wheel. A 3D Imax theater is even being considered for the park, according to materials from the developers. The area would encompass 1,300 acres of land and would feature nearly 2,000 feet of vertical elevation in the rides and a hotdog and cotton candy stand.


Peeping Tom roundup nets 74 suspects

muse: With warming temperatures and gusty winds, forecasters are warning of increasing poopsicles emerging from snowbanks and snowy yards in town. Watch where you walk. forecast: There is a high chance of ice spots on Woozleys on Monday, with crowds likely on See Forever and slush bumps to be found in sweet pockets of Gold Hill.

Avalanche mitigation is included in the plan, and patrollers would be on hand to ensure safety from hangfire and other dangers. Earlier this winter, Kids Hill Development Company (KHDC) proposed building a rugged, experts-only ski resort in the backcountry basin where skiers would access terrain via helicop-

An amusement park in Upper Bear Creek? Hack


Storyteller Extraordinaire

fter a mud-slinging special community meeting Thursday, the Wilkinfun Public Library has decided to clear out some books to make way for a kid-friendly bouncy castle. The castles have proven very popular among rowdy elementary school-aged children and library officials think it will fit nicely with the organization’s mission. “Everyone was using the library as a day-care center anyway,” said director Betsy Brumble. “We found some old, dusty books by this Irish guy, Joyce something-or-other and we figured, what the heck, we can do without these. We’re also ditching a few by this Faulker dude. Never heard of him and they were taking up too much space.” The inflatable bouncy castle






Ink-stained wretch

roundup of local men who match the description of the Peeping Tom who was reportedly lurking in Telluride’s alleys this winter has netted 74 suspects. For two months, Telluride Marshals have been searching for men who fit the description of the Peeping Tom, who was reportedly peering into windows of homes near the west side of town on several occasions this winter. The man is described as Caucasian, between 20-35 years old, scruffy looking, with unkempt hair and the start of a beard/ mustache, and wearing a puffy coat and Carhartts. On Tuesday in a sting operation, marshals nabbed dozens of men who fit this description in Telluride, and hauled them to

‘too many’ local men match description the station. “Unfortunately for our search, the description of the suspect fits roughly 90 percent of the males in that age category who live in Telluride,” said Chief Marshal Tim Roller. “This fact makes it very difficult to narrow it down. We realize we have an uphill battle ahead of us.” A lineup conducted at the marshal’s office just left the victims flummoxed, Roller said. And police still have about 25 more men who fit the description who are out of town in places like Indian Creek, Utah and skiing in Jackson, he said. The marshal’s office has received reports stretching back to December of a man looking into windows in alleyways between 7

p.m. and midnight. Officers have been compiling possible suspects since January, amassing a lengthy list of locals. One of these locals, Johnny Sitch, a server at The Chop House, was relaxing on a bench on main street with a cup of coffee and some friends when an officer approached him on Tuesday and asked him to come to the station. He was bewildered, he said. When he saw the composite sketch, he pointed out that the shapeless scruff on the man pictured is distinctly different from his look, which is more Doc Holiday/Gunslinger mustache paired with three-day shadow. “Totally different,” said Sitch, who adamantly maintains his in-

nocence. In Colorado, voyeurism is a class two misdemeanor, which carries a maximum penalty of one year in jail and up to $1,000 in fines.

Local man Johnny Sitch was taken in for questioning by police after matching the description of a reported Peeping Tom. [Photo by Lois Lane-Sackett]


aPril 1, 2013


Telluride daily PlaneT


now offering the

Telski has officially banned pointy hats — fleece or otherwise — on the mountain after a lift operator working in Revelation Bowl suffered from a serious eye injury when he was poked by the hat of a skier loading onto the chair Friday. “These hats pose a serious danger to our skiers, including the women and children out there,” said Telski owner Buck Korning. “We’re lucky our guy didn’t lose his eye. We’ve got to live up to our standards of safety and get these things off the slopes.” Anyone caught wearing a spiky hat will get their pass pulled for a minimum of a year or get their lift ticket clipped. [Courtesy image]


(on the corner of Spruce & Pacific)


Discover our colorful past. At the top of Fir Street



Commissioners to clone sage-grouse

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Bird Enthusiast

hy save ‘em if you can just make more of ‘em? That’s the thought of San Miguel County Commissioners, who earlier this week decided they would try their hand at the advanced scientific technique of cloning to boost populations of the Gunnison sage-grouse. “If KFC can do it with chickens, we figured, why not us?” said commissioner Joanie Mayfly. “Except ours will have beaks and feathers.” Local populations of the endangered bird have been decimated in recent years, with no

end to the decline in sight. Efforts at restoring the species have failed and road and home construction, mining and oil and gas development had been blamed. Until now. Current research points to the real culprit: Upscale restaurants of Mountain Village promoting the ground bird with speckled plumage as a popular menu item. They have been a featured special on “locavore” menus at trendy establishments and can be braised, fried, curried or fricasseed. Hungry foodies just can’t get enough of the tasty bird. “It’s getting out of hand,” Mayfly said.

The cloning is set to take place in the basement of the San Miguel County Courthouse after spring break. There’s not much time for commissioners to pull the species back from the brink of extinction because demand for the delectable critters is increasing. Even though commissioners don’t have more than a basic understanding of the complicated genetics involved, they aren’t worried. “I think commissioner Fisher was a bio major or something, so I’m sure it will be fine,” Mayfly said.

Amusement park in Bear Creek? ParK, from page 1

ters or by human power. Previous plans for the basin included gold mining, a futuristic pod, a mountain chateau, armed guards, a giant fence and “no trespassing” signs. On Thursday, Furry said they reconsidered the ski area idea in the last couple months because it only aimed at a tiny demographic: affluent extreme skiers. “We figured, why not devise a plan to include all sorts of people — families, kids, visitors, theme park junkies?” he said. “This seems to us like it was the only real solution, it’s a real no-brainer. We believe it will benefit the largest number of people in the community.”

He added that it will draw more people to Telluride year round, which will provide a boost to the regional economy. Plans for the park include a wave pool, giant water slide and rides like a Mind Eraser, Tower of Terror, Log Ride and Zipper, as well as carousels and bumper cars. Furry said many details still need to be worked out; the company will deal with things like patrol and collecting money if and when a permit is issued. He Facebook messaged the Forest Service at the beginning of the week to let them know the plans, he said. The move represents a departure for Capman, a controversial land dealer who set the ski com-

munity ablaze in 2010 after buying up a strip of mining claims in the basin and promptly announced that they were closed to skiers and hikers. Several months after that purchase, the U.S. Forest Service closed access gates on Gold Hill that offered entrance into Upper Bear Creek, citing private property rights concerns. That set off a battle over access to Bear Creek, a rugged basin of cliffs, chutes and long, beautiful runs that has been a Mecca for backcountry skiers for decades. Capman said he’s tired of all the fighting; with Bear Creek Funland, people can just have a good time. “Who doesn’t love a Tilt-AWhirl?” he asked.

Make way for bouncy castle ParK, from page 1

will feature a drawbridge, tower, ball pit and video game console. Since kids will have to pay an admission fee to enter the bouncy castle area, the library sees it as a way to offset its recent budget reductions. “This could be the answer to our financial woes,” Brumble said. “It was either that or start charging people to check out

books. But who reads books anymore these days? It was a nobrainer.” Defenders of the old-fashioned tomes were vocal and raised objections to the plan. Upset that their classic literature was getting the boot, they have attended nearly every library board meeting for months. In the end, they won a small victory: The library agreed to keep

several paperback copies of the new popular masterpiece “50 Shades of Grey.” “It’s a great book,” Brumble said. “The vocabulary and character development are top-notch. It doesn’t sound like it’s been written by a 15 year old and it’s not physically sucking the brain cells out of my head at all.”

inside today: the View, p5; news, p6; Cop shop, p7; Voices, p17; sport, p18; Orbit, the back page


March 31, 2013 VOluMe 19, nuMBer 436

don’t quote me but...

“If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s how much you should enjoy every sandwich.”

— Brian, Heidi, Monica and Pete

Calendar sunday • Easter Egg Hunt: 9 a.m., Mountain Village Core • Easter Egg Hunt: 11:45 a.m., Town Park • “Jesus Christ Superstar”: 2 p.m., Palm Theatre • Alcoholics Anonymous: 5:30 p.m., Christ Presbyterian • Open Mic/Arts Lab: 7 p.m., O’Bannon’s • Movie: “Jack the Giant Slayer” (PG-13) 5:30 and 8 p.m., Nugget Theatre

Oh, baby!

A handsome crew of babies and their parents showed up for the Daily Planet’s annual baby picture this week, with the town’s newest citizens (born in 2012) posing on Colorado Avenue with their future classmates. Front row, from left: Eric with baby Otto Adolphi (mom Sherub in the back row), parents Ryan and Kailey with Declan Grady, mom Carrie and Keaton Koenig, Craig and Amy with Henry Siever, mom Sarah Palmer Billings with Ivy Billings; Ken Olson, Josselin Lifton-Zoline and baby Forrest; Michael and Anna with Harper Blanton. Second row, from left: Georgie Bishop and Willy with Tilly Glanzig, dad Patrick Laguens with Justus Laguens and mom Jen Knopp, unknown, parents Jonny Hine and Stephanie Burke with baby Hazel Hine, Jen Rose with Juna, parents Dori and Cody with baby Jia Crowe, mom Alyssa with Cash Saunders, Allison Gunter Templin with Walker Templin. Back row, from left: Matty Kuzmich and Kristen Craine with Arenal Kuzmich and Brian Werner and Meghann McCormick with Levi Werner (held high), Dwight and Amy with Simone Oliver, Barrett and Natalie with Kinsley Miller. [Photo by Melissa Plantz]


Commissioners approve agreement, comments to FWS

monday • Block of the Month: 11 a.m.-6 p.m., Needle Rock Fiberarts • “Let the Right One In”: 5 p.m., library • “Parsifal”: 6 p.m., Palm Theatre • Avalanche Forum: 7 p.m., Rebekah Hall • Movie: “Jack the Giant Slayer” (PG-13) 5:30 and 8 p.m., Nugget Theatre

Weather muse: It’s officially thundersnow season. forecast: Sunday will be mostly sunny with a high of 54 and a chance of rain and show showers and maybe some thunder. Monday will be partly sunny with a high of 48 and a chance of rain and snow showers.

in OrBit: sunday focus: business & real estate petra’s practice Coming tuesday: sports & recreation

Officials oppose designating land near egnar as critical habitat By HEAtHER SACKEtt


Associate Editor

he San Miguel County Board of Commissioners took two more steps Wednesday toward protecting local populations of a ground bird with speckled plumage. At their regular meeting Wednesday, San Miguel County

Commissioners approved a memorandum of understanding with nine other counties with the goal of increasing populations of the Gunnison sage-grouse. Commissioners also approved, pending some edits, the comments they will submit to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service regarding the bird.

The MOU includes the Colorado counties of Gunnison, Saguache, Dolores, Montezuma, Delta, Montrose, Hinsdale and Mesa, and San Juan County, Utah. The goal is to increase the abundance, viability and vitality of the Gunnison sage-grouse and its habitat. According to the See HaBitat, Page 16

mOuntain Village


sKi resort Begins WinDing DoWn oPerations Lift 8 to close at 1:30 p.m., closing day April 7

Council wants Conference t Center results By COLLIN MCRANN


Staff reporter

fter its first few months managing the Telluride Conference Center, the Telluride Ski & Golf Company is facing some tough feedback from the Mountain Village Town Council. Telski has been managing

New marketing plan presented the Conference Center, which is located in Mountain Village, since last fall when it took the reins from Cadence Hospitality. Cadence had managed the

town-owned center since 2009. With the transition over to Telski, a new five-year management agreement was signed last year. But during a recent presentation of Telski’s new marketing plan for the center, town council members had some critical feedback for the ski company. See Plan, Page 16

he Telluride Ski Resort is wrapping up its 2012-13 season and will begin winding down operations this week. Beginning Monday, Ute Park Express (Lift 11) and the Lynx Lift (Lift 13) will close. The Oak Street Lift (Lift 8) will scale back its operating hours to 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. through the end of the season. The Mountain Village Express (Lift 4) will continue to operate until 4:30 p.m. and the Polar Queen Express (Lift 5) will run until 4 p.m. Some on-mountain dining establishments will also scale back operations for the last week of See Closing Day, Page 16

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March 31, 2013

Telluride daily PlaneT

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129 Victoria Drive, MOUNTAIN VILLAGE

Located on over two acres, this fabulous home is bordered on three sides by open space, overlooks the Telluride golf course, and offers more than 400 ft of ski trail frontage. Designed for entertaining or an active family, the 4 bdrm, 4.5 bath home also offers a library, four fireplaces and views of the San Sophia ridge. Offered at $3,499,000

130 High Country, MOUNTAIN VILLAGE DIRECT TRAILSIDE LOT! Located in a premier ski in/ski out location, this expansive slopeside residence is offered furnished and features more than 7,000 square feet of living space including 6 bedrooms, 5.5 baths, and over 2,000 square feet of outdoor entertaining areas with wrap around decks and a built-in hot tub. Offered at $4,695,000

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MOUNTAIN VILLAGE Just steps to the Double Cabin Ski Run, this 2 bdrm + flex room, 3 bath condo offers a great location, San Sophia views and luxury amenities including direct access elevator and beautiful bathrooms with steam shower and whirlpool tub. Offered at $995,000

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MOUNTAIN VILLAGE Enjoy spectacular unobstructed views of Mt. Wilson from this 3 bdrm, 4 full bath residence. Offering an inviting living room plus separate den for additional seating and entertaining, the unit is located in the smaller and more intimate San Sophia Lodge and offers exceptional privacy, yet is easy accessibility to the Village core. Offered at $2,295,000

Located in the heart of the Mountain Village Core this 3 bdrm, 3 bath condo features two master suites, a beautiful stone fireplace, deeded garage parking space and storage room, two ski lockers, and large deck with Ski Area views. The current owners have never rented, but this unit does have good rental potential with its great location and bedroom flexibility which includes a 3rd bedroom lock-off. Fully furnished and turn-key. Offered at $749,000

547 W. Pacific, TELLURIDE Prime redevelopment opportunity in the heart of Telluride. Consisting of a 1506 square foot historic home on a 3,931 square foot lot, this property provides an estimated redevelopment potential of approximately 3,500-5,000 sq.ft. Good location on the bus route between Lift 7 and the Gondola. Offered at $1,295,000

Luxurious 1 bdrm, 1 bath condo in the heart of downtown Telluride. Gas fireplace and large private deck with hot tub and great views of Ajax and Ballard. Tastefully furnished and decorated, this unit is being sold turnkey. Strong short term rental history. Offered at $399,850

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March 31, 2013

trUe stOries Car ends up On neighbOr’s rOOf

A Southern California man’s car ended up on his neighbor’s roof in an unusual accident. Glendale police Sgt. Sean Riley tells City News Service that the driver lost control on a driveway in an area where homes are arrayed on a steep hillside. The vehicle ended up on the roof of the next house down the hill. Riley says the driver reported he had a mechanical failure. The driver, his wife and the resident of the neighboring home were unharmed.

treasure hunt prOmpts bOmb sCare

A Utah bomb squad thought a package marked “Army” was suspicious, but it was just part of an elaborate plan by a guy trying to ask a girl to a dance. St. George police rushed to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints temple on Saturday after the package was placed near a gazebo. The investigation ended, however, when officers were told the package was part of a treasure hunt, and contained candy and a note asking a girl to a dance.

tellUriDe DailY Planet publisher: Andrew Mirrington, ext. 22 editor: Katie Klingsporn, ext. 12 associate editor: Heather Sackett, ext. 14 reporter: Collin McRann, ext. 18 photographer: Melissa Plantz, Columnists and Contributors: Jim Hollrah, Sean McNamara, Bobbie Shaffer, Michelle Curry Wright, Thom Carnevale, David Brankley Calendar e-mail: associate publisher: Dusty Atherton, ext. 24 sales and marketing manager: Maureen Pelisson, ext. 21 account executive: Anna Goller, ext. 20 Classifieds account representative: Robin Fritsch, ext. 10 Classified e-mail: Office manager: Shelly Bolus, ext. 16 production manager: Nola Svoboda, ext. 26 design/production: Peter J. Glenn Circulation: Telluride Delivers, Ellen Metrick subscriptions: 970-728-9788 Telluride Daily Planet is owned and operated by Telluride Newspapers, Inc., P.O. Box 2315, Telluride, Colorado 81435. Phone: 970-728-9788; Fax: 970-728-8061; Editorial fax: 970-728-9793; Online edition: Telluride Daily Planet (Incorporating the Telluride Times/Times-Journal, 1898-1998) (USPS 5373-60) (ISSN 1085-1704) is published daily by Telluride Newspapers, Inc. Telluride, Colorado 81435. Subscription rate $139 for Friday only and $199 for Friday and Sunday. Postmaster: Send address changes to: Telluride Daily Planet, P.O. Box 2315, Telluride, Colorado 81435. Copyright ©2011 Telluride Newspapers, Inc.

the View


Telluride daily PlaneT



hortly after my father Thus, Analysis Research Asis fired from Boeing sociates (my father’s personal in the early ‘70s along do-anything-he-feels-like corpowith half the rest of the ration) enters the vitamin race. workforce, he decides Cut to giant drums of potasnot to go back to work but stay sium gluconate and magnesium at home instead, much to my citrate arriving at our door, and mother’s great and lip-pursing the birth of a cottage industry, chagrin. It’s a big enough house which leads to the very first not to see each other all day, but bottles of K+, a potassium-based even so. supplement, and their distribuWhat she sees in her future, tion, for a limited time, to health like a dark zeppelin of a cloud, is food stores in the Seattle area. a withering line-up of sandwichThe vitamins are house-made, es at noon, holding flashlights, 123 at a time, in a contraption standing at the base of ladders, dad makes out of Lucite with his listening to efficiency-expert pep drill press, glue and scroll saw. talks and being shown new ways Gel cap bottoms are placed in to do things she’s been doing for holes and filled with powder and 30 years. Like organizing a coat then tamped down using our ebocloset, for instance. Or peeling a ny chopsticks, (I still use them). potato. We pack up 12-per cartons and Dad has lots of time on his dad starts peddling his wares, hands but is never idle, not on old school and in person. Miyour life. In addition to vegetable raculously, we start filling orders gardening, an infatuaand then get busier and TeA leAves tion with apple farming miChelle CurrY busier with it. There is Wright (a dream he never reala second product based izes), an obsession with on magnesium, and we newly minted NASA patents and spent even more time at the learning early computers, he be- kitchen table, the three of us hicomes a health food fanatic — lariously sweat-shopping around long before the rest of the world a 5 by 12 inch piece of Lucite. has, except, of course, for the There is no branding, no real fine folks at Prevention Maga- logo, no catch phrase, no marzine, which we subscribe to, and ket research, no strategy; there with which I, in turn, become ob- is just my father selling cases of sessed at the age of about 16. In beloved product, one at a time, 1974. I just can’t get enough. in the early days, before elecWhat Prevention gives a neu- trolytes begin to flood not just rotic girl in Catholic school is a health food stores but grocery sense that in every single vita- and convenience stores — in the min on the shelf lays an answer form of increasingly ubiquitous to any number of problems one sports drinks. is sure to have. Nerves. Shyness. Now, as I pop milk thistle Romantic fantasies. Bad skin. capsules twice a day for a springLow self-esteem. Lethargy. The time liver cleanse and consider desire to run away. Unbridled further anatomical housekeepyearning. It all seems so straight- ing measures for the coming forward: If zinc can’t do it, may- off-season, I think back on my be tryptophan can. If tryptophan larger-than-life father and his or any other freshly gel-capped enthusiasm for knowledge and supplement can’t, well, then, entrepreneurship, his persisthere’s food combining, ferment- tence, his optimism, and his reing, sprouting, juicing, fasting. fusal of cynicism, and I hold it all There is hope in the health food close. store, eternal, bottle-and-gadgetIn the spring, cleansing of the grabbing hope. body feels like the foundation Dad, fearless in matters of of a good spring cleaning of the blazing forward, gets so worked heart and spirit, for an annual up on “Diet for a Small Planet” purging of all that never has and and the revolutionary new sta- never will serve us, the emotionples (like millet and rye) with al dark matter we insist too adawhich he’s re-organized our mantly is ours for the duration. kitchen cupboards (insert wife’s Is it really ours for the duration? frown here), he starts boning up I don’t know about that. on biochemistry at the Seattle Because in the spring, as the Public Library. Day after day, for lambs drop and begin instantly months and months, he sits in a bounding on the wick fields, as carrel until finally, one night at threadlike roots blindly displace dinner, he shares this before-its- hundreds of pounds per square time gem, this eureka moment of inch of clay and dirt, I feel a simGray’s Anatomy beauty: the hu- ple sort of radiant hope and the man body’s need for electrolytes spirit of my father shine through is of utmost importance! No one me, helping the process along. seems to be addressing this glar- Thanks, dad. ing omission!

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editor's note: The View is a space in the Telluride Daily Planet for local voices on local matters. We’re always looking for more opinions and more voices in our pages, so if you’ve got something to say we’d love to hear it. Guest opinions should be about 750 words long and, as always, not contain any personal attacks. Please include picture and a tagline, with general information about the author. This is your space — use it. Questions? Manuscripts? E-mail:

TODD CREEL BROKER/OWNER • 970-728-6400 / 729-2222 Prospect Realty, 134 E. Colorado Ave., Downtown Telluride View all properties in the county MLS:




Philanthropy Days registration opens Monday

News March 31, 2013 Page Six

News in Brief

Event takes place June 17-19 in Ouray



Old human remains found at Colorado school

Authorities say the remains of five people unearthed at a Colorado school where construction is under way could be from a burial plot. The remains were discovered last week in a ball field at Ignacio Intermediate School, where a construction crew is laying a sewer line. La Plata County Coroner Jann Smith says the bones are believed to be 50 to 75 years old, and are possibly from a family burial plot. The Durango Herald reports no foul play is suspected. The remains are expected to stay in the ground for a couple of weeks or longer until archaeologists can excavate them and move them to a new burial site. ASPEN

Night ski hikers asked to be careful

Aspen Skiing Co. officials are asking night ski hikers to be careful after a man broke his leg coming down Buttermilk mountain early Thursday. The man was a member of a group coming down the mountain after attending a full-moon party at the top of the resort. The parties are not organized by the ski company. According to the Aspen Daily News, the man was taken to a hospital, where his condition was not available. DENVER

Last light

A skate skier enjoys the last bit of daylight this week at Priest Lake. With warming temperatures and longer days, the Nordic skiing season is winding down in the San Juans. [Photo by Katie Klingsporn]


2 gun bills get 1st House OK with less controversy Proposals don’t have full support of Republicans By IVAN MORENO


ENVER (AP) — Lawmakers in the state House gave initial approval Thursday to measures requiring in-person training for conceal-carry permits and strengthening a ban on gun ownership by domesticviolence offenders, proposals that haven’t been as contentious as other firearm legislation this year. But the proposals still don’t have the full support of Colorado Republicans. None in the House Judiciary Committee voted in support of the bill restricting firearm possession by domesticviolence offenders, and only Republican Rep. Bob Gardner voted

Colo. farmers holding back on corn plantings

Farmers around the country collectively intend to plant more corn this year, but growers in dry Colorado are holding back. The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s spring planting survey showed U.S. farmers intend to plant 97.3 million acres of corn this year, which would be the most since 1936. Agriculture officials said Thursday that Colorado farmers only intend to plant an estimated 1.25 million acres of corn, which is 12 percent below their plantings last year. The U.S. Drought Monitor shows all of Colorado is experiencing some level of drought. A large portion of southeastern Colorado is experiencing exceptional drought, which is considered the most extreme condition on the U.S. Drought Monitor’s five-level scale.

Briefs, from page 12

Associated Press

in favor of the training bill. The bills still need consideration by the full House. One bill would allow some online gun education for permitseekers but would require them to prove in person handgun competency, such as showing how to safely carry a gun, clean it, or know where the safety is. “Currently, the way that we issue a conceal permit is that you can do the whole course online, never having to show in person with a certified instructor” to demonstrate competency, said Rep. Jenise May, D-Aurora, who is sponsoring the bill. Another bill strengthens a ban on gun ownership by domesticviolence offenders by establish-

ing a process through the courts for them to relinquish their firearms. “It does put teeth into the law now that says they’re not allowed to possess them,” said Rep. Beth McCann, D-Denver. Both bills have already cleared the Senate. The legislation is part of a package of bills that Democrats unveiled in response to mass shootings last year in Connecticut and suburban Denver. Other bills that have already been signed into law, including limits on ammunition magazines, have generated more controversy.


Colorado could be forced to repay federal funds State could lose more than $8.4 million


ENVER (AP) — Colorado is among Western states that could be forced to repay millions of dollars in federal funds locked up in the national budget debate. U.S. Rep. Scott Tipton, a Republican from Colorado, said the Obama administration has advised the state that money from timber sales and mineral royalties are subject to the budget debate and the state could receive a bill for repayment of funds already distributed to counties. Colorado stands to lose $8.4 million from the federal mineral royalties paid to states, and $720,000 from timber sales, Tip-

ton’s office said Friday. Many communities rely on those revenues for public schools, public-works repairs, emergency services and other programs. Nationally, the U.S. Forest Service is expected to take back about $18 million from timber sales to states that use the money for local schools. The Interior Department, meanwhile, has notified states that they won’t get about $110 million from mineral royalty payments. The federal effort is aimed at forcing states to return money already given to them under the Secure Rural Schools and Community Self-Determination Act.

It has been criticized by more than 30 representatives, including Tipton, in a letter to the Agriculture Department of Office of Management and Budget. “For the administration to announce three months after the disbursement of these payments that they are subject to the sequester (budget debate) and that the states will receive a bill for repayment of funds already distributed to counties, appears to be an obvious attempt by President (Barack) Obama’s administration to make the sequester as painful as possible,” the letter said.

nline registration opens Monday for Western Slope Rural Philanthropy Days (WSRPD), which takes place June 17-19 in Ouray. Western Slope non-profits will have a unique opportunity to connect with more than 30 Colorado foundations at the 2013 WSRPD conference. Non-profits, government, business and community leaders from Delta, Gunnison, Hinsdale, Mesa, Montrose, Ouray and San Miguel Counties are all invited to attend. For 23 years, local communities have worked to coordinate Rural Philanthropy Days (RPD)  in partnership with the Community Resource Center, the Anschutz Family Foundation and statewide grant makers. The RPD program provides a powerful opportunity for the state’s most influential funders and local grant seekers to strengthen partnerships to better meet the needs of rural Colorado communities. It results in increased access to resources, relationships and skill building opportunities for important local projects.  RPD began in 1991. At that time, just 3 percent of grant dollars from Colorado’s private foundations were awarded outside of the Front Range. As a result of the WSRPD conferences held in Telluride in 2005, and Crested Butte in 2009, grants to Western Slope communities increased 120 percent. The number of grants awarded increased from 87 grants to 138 grants, annually. RPD makes a difference for non-profits and the economy at a time when local funding dollars designated for non-profits have decreased. WS RPD is expecting more than 300 attendees for the 2013 conference including representatives from private and government funders. The three-day event begins with discussions within the communities about the region’s needs with funders, local governments, non-profits, business owners and community members before the event as preparation. The conference includes workshops and presentations, and culminates in “Funder Roundtables,” at which non-profit representatives discuss their projects and programs with grantors. Some of this year’s speakers and presenters include: • Sue Hansen, corporate trainer and motivational speaker • Lisa Flores, senior program officer, Gates Family Foundation •  Melanie Hall, executive director, Montrose Community Foundation • Laurel Petralia, program officer, The Colorado Trust • April Montgomery, programs director, Telluride Foundation Registration open Monday online at Registration.htm.


March 31, 2013

Cop shop telluride marshal’s department



lOst and fOund: A family reported that a member of the family was missing. A deputy located the missing person after a short search.

runaWaY: A man got into a fight with another man in front of O’Bannon’s Irish Pub and after a woman tried to break it up she was hit and fell to the ground. A crowd then chased one of the men up to the New Sheridan Bar where he found refuge.

reCkless driVing: A deputy responded to a reckless driver complaint on the Spur. After patrolling, no contact with the driver was made.

MARCH 24 his Other hOme: After a man failed to appear in court, officers were able to locate him in a parking garage near a liquor store where he was hiding behind a car. MARCH 26 saVe lift 8: A window was broken at the Lift 8 lift shack after a chunk of ice was thrown through it.

san miguel sheriff’s OffiCe March 18 busted: An employer reported finding illegal drugs allegedly owned by an employee. The case is under investigation. ellerdsVille? A deputy took a report of an animal problem and obstruction of the roadway in Ellerdsville. The issues have been cleared up for the time being.

searCh fOr narCOtiCs: Deputies executed a search warrant for possible narcotics violations. No arrests were made at this time. MARCH 21 Crank Call: A resident received a suspicious and possibly harassing phone call in the early morning hours. It is believed to have been from an employee who the recipient had let go from a job more than a year ago. The matter is being investigated. aggressiVe driVing: A motorist called to report an aggressive driver who was making illegal passes on Keystone Hill. Deputies found the truck in Telluride and gave the driver a warning. YOur turn tO dO the dishes: A Wright’s Mesa resident called 911 to report a domestic dispute, saying threats were being made. A deputy and Norwood marshal went to the residence and found the dispute was over dirty dishes and the alleged threats were questionable at best. The parties were advised, in no uncertain terms, that 911 is not to be used to figure out who needs to do the dishes.

Telluride daily PlaneT



Car Vs. guard rail: A deputy assisted Colorado State Patrol with a car vs. guardrail accident. The driver was cited and released.

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MARCH 22 OOps: A gas skip was reported at the Society Turn Conoco. The driver realized she had failed to pay and returned of her own accord. nOt drunk: A deputy received a report of an intoxicated driver at the San Miguel Country Store. The person was having some medical issues and was given a courtesy ride. MARCH 23 rOCk fall: A deputy assisted CDOT after receiving a report of a 3-foot boulder in the northbound lane of Highway 145 near mile marker 74. A plow was able to remove the rock.

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aCCident: Deputies responded to a minor injury, one-vehicle accident on Highway 145 near mile marker 67. The occupants of the vehicle were taken by ambulance to the Telluride Medical Center. Colorado State Patrol is investigating the accident. Editor’s note: Cop Shop is compiled from police reports provided to the Daily Planet by local law enforcement agencies. For space reasons, not every incident that appears in the police reports appears in Cop Shop.

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Bill would grant immigrants licenses

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Democrats plan to introduce bill on Monday

217 E. Colorado Ave. Telluride, Colorado



Associated Press

ENVER (AP) — Illegal immigrants would be eligible to get Colorado driver’s licenses under a bill Democrats plan to introduce Monday, the third substantial piece of immigration legislation this year for a party that a few years ago joined Republicans in passing strict enforcement laws. With the proposal, Colorado would join only a handful of states in the nation that allows driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants. New Mexico and Washington allow illegal immigrants to obtain the same driver licenses as U.S. citizens. Illinois passed a law this year. Colorado Democratic Sen. Jessie Ulibarri, the sponsor of the bill, said illegal immigrants are already driving, whether it is to take their children to school or take loved ones to the hospital. “If they’re driving on our roads, we want to make sure that every single driver is licensed and insured,” he said. The bill will be unveiled Monday during a news conference. The bill will be called the “Colorado Road and Community

Safety Act.” Immigrant advocates tried to get driver’s licenses proposal on the ballot last year, but failed to get enough signatures to send it to voters. Ulibarri said the licenses would show that the people are not U.S. citizens so they would not be able to register to vote. Immigrants would have to prove they’re paying state and federal taxes and have an identification card from their country to get driver’s licenses. Ulibarri said qualifying documents are to show that immigrants “are here in our community, paying taxes, trying to play by the rules” and making themselves known to state government. Republican Sen. Kent Lambert argues the proposal would violate federal immigration law. “Maybe he plans to override all federal law. I think that’s very problematic,” said Lambert, who has been a staunch opponent of illegal immigration. “If people are here illegally, that means it’s illegal to do this,” he said. Connecticut is considering a similar proposal to Colorado’s this year. Utah grants immigrants a driving permit that can’t

be used for identification. Ulibarri said public opinion on immigration has changed over the last 10 years, and he’s optimistic he can get Republican support for the measure. In 2006, Democrats joined Republicans in passing a strict package of immigration laws in Colorado, including barring nonemergency benefits to those in the country illegally. This year, with Democrats in control of the state Legislature, they passed a bill granting in-state tuition for illegal immigrants who graduate from Colorado high schools. The bill is expected to be signed soon by Democratic Gov. John Hickenlooper. Democrats are also advancing a bill to repeal a 2006 state law that requires law enforcement to report to federal immigration officials people they arrest who are suspected illegal immigrants. The bill has passed the House and is being considered by the Senate. New Mexico Republican Gov. Susana Martinez has tried unsuccessfully to repeal her state’s driver license law.


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March 31, 2013





Telluride daily PlaneT


Exuding a distinguished level of finish and ski-in/out location that is u n m a t c h e d i n t h e To w n o f Te l l u r i d e , t h e A u b e r g e R e s i d e n c e s a t E l e m e n t 5 2 offer two to five bedroom residences within an intimate community setting. Distinctive luxuries and services include a private ski funicular, 24 hour concierge, spa, heated outdoor soaking pools, private club room, and expansive mountain and town views. Simply the best.

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March 31, 2013

Telluride Daily Planet





1) Over-stuffed opulent furnishings. 2) One of the best viewing spots from this private balcony. 3) Unique stairwell with an adjacent interior stream! 4) Regal furnishings in the master bedroom and throughout this penthouse.

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The address is 136 Country Club Drive which is located at the top of the Peaks Resort Hotel in Mountain Village, just above Telluride, Colorado! The interior design concept was inspired by the Furness Abbey near Cumbria, England, a former monastery. That abbey dates back to 1123 and was once the second wealthiest and most powerful Cistercian monastery in the country. This visually stunning abbey concept has come to life with architectural details – carved stone fireplaces walls, corridors, rugged/rustic cabinetry - and resonates throughout with furnishings, décor, artwork and statues, fabrics and rich textures. All

components together will transcend you to a fantasy-laden lifestyle. This theme beautifully contrasts with our mountain region making this property feel like a true “get-away”. There are very few properties in the Village Core with the gorgeous, allencompassing views (which span all the way to Utah!) from this penthouse whether taking in the views from inside or out on one of the private balconies. Plus, this unit stretches out on two separate levels! Playing into the theme, there is even a stream that flows along the stairway. The trickle of running water in this environment engrains the richness of the whole experience. Extensive amenities included with this Peaks property are: pool and hot tub; tennis; ski storage; added security with onsite management, front desk coverage; conference

room; day care; shuttle service and more! With 2 huge bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms and a sleeping den, where you can host family and friends in royal comfort within the interior spaces and surprise nooks that may beckon one to sneak away without ever leaving this penthouse. The price of this fantastic fantasy property is $1,800,000. Feel free to contact George Harvey about this property: Cell: 970.729.0111 or online: We have created a showcase website for this property at:


March 31, 2013

Telluride daily PlaneT



Colo. massacre suspect’s plea offer rejected Prosecutors say the proposal can’t be considered genuine

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Associated Press

ENVER (AP) — Prosecutors in the Colorado theater massacre case have rejected an offer from suspect James Holmes to plead guilty in exchange for avoiding the death penalty, saying the proposal can’t be considered genuine because the defense has repeatedly refused to give them information needed to evaluate it. No plea agreement exists, prosecutors said in a scathing court document Thursday, and one “is extremely unlikely based on the present information available to the prosecution.” They also said anyone reading news stories about the offer would inevitably conclude “the defendant knows that he is guilty, the defense attorneys know that he is guilty, and that both of them know that he was not criminally insane.” Holmes is charged with multiple counts of murder and attempted murder in the July 20 shootings in a packed theater in the Denver suburb of Aurora. Twelve people were killed and 70 were injured. Holmes’ attorneys disclosed

In this March 12, 2013 file photo, James Holmes, left, and defense attorney Tamara Brady appear in district court in Centennial, Colo. for his arraignment.

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[AP Photo/The Denver Post, RJ Sangosti, Pool, File]

in a court filing Wednesday that their client has offered to plead guilty, but only if he wouldn’t be executed. Prosecutors criticized defense attorneys for publicizing the offer, calling it a ploy meant to draw the public and the judge into what should be private plea negotiations. Prosecutors did not say what information the defense refused to give them, but the two sides have argued in court previously about access to information about Holmes’ mental health.

Karen Steinhauser, a former prosecutor who is now an adjunct professor at the University of Denver’s law school, said prosecutors clearly do not want to agree to a plea deal without knowing whether Holmes’ attorneys could mount a strong mental health defense. “One of the issues the prosecution needs to look at is, is there a likelihood that doctors, and then a jury, could find that James Holmes was insane at the time of the crime?” she said.

Monday 8:30 Ski Conditioning 9:30 TRX Suspension Training 12:30 Barre Fusion

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March 31, 2013

Off for the off season?


Telluride daily PlaneT

Not us. We’re still here for you while everyone’s away. Make sure you schedule your May Health Month appointment for discounted physical exams & lab work.

Briefs, from page 6

40% of eye injuries are sports related.


Obama tO Visit COlO. in gun COntrOl push


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Congratulations from Telluride Institute, to the 2013 Bridal Veil Living

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Telluride Medical Center 500 W. Pacific Ave To make an appointment, please call 970-728-3848

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Bridal Veil Falls (Photo Credit: Alessandra Jacobson)

Elizabeth Vickers - Norwood High School Sam Demas, Brooke Skelton, Emma Gerona, Briana Santa Ana, Erin Kean, Sierra Merrick, Mikaela Balkind – Telluride High School We are looking forward to an educationally vigorous summer adventure with you all!

Hungry for Sausage?

The Agenda and Board Packet for this meeting can be found on our website,; click on “The Board” then, “Board Meeting Materials”. If you are unable to attend, but would like to tune in, please visit and click on “The Board” then, Watch the Actual Meeting. The Board will be discussing Dial-A-Ride, the Sunset Concert Series and other funding requests.

Come join us!!


COlOradO unemplOYment rate COntinues tO drOp

The Colorado Department of Labor and Employment says the state’s unemployment rate dropped to 7.2 percent in February from January’s 7.3 percent. The last time the Colorado unemployment rate was this low was in 2009. According to the department, the largest gains were in professional and business services, leisure and hospitality, trade, transportation and utilities.


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President Obama is coming to Colorado to highlight the state’s gun control push as he tries to convince Congress to tackle the issue. Obama is scheduled to come Wednesday. The White House says the president will meet with law enforcement and community leaders to discuss the gun control package signed into law by Gov. John Hickenlooper. Colorado has gone farther than any state outside the northeast in passing new gun laws. The state now prohibits the sale of magazines that hold more than 15 bullets and requires background checks for all private gun sales. Democrats passed the laws over strong Republican objections.




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March 31, 2013


Telluride daily PlaneT





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March 31, 2013


Telluride daily PlaneT


Arizona gun proponents launch free gun program Campaign has divided residents in community still reeling from shooting By CRIStINA SILVA


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UCSON, Ariz. (AP) — A campaign promising free shotguns for people in Tucson’s most troubled neighborhoods has divided some residents in a community still reeling from a shooting rampage in 2011 that killed six people, left a congresswoman and several others wounded, and made the city a symbol of gun violence in America. The nonprofit Armed Citizen Project is part of a national campaign to give shotguns to single women and homeowners in neighborhoods with high-crime rates. The effort comes amid a national debate on gun control after mass shootings in Arizona, Colorado and Connecticut. While towns in Idaho, Utah, Virginia and Pennsylvania have debated ordinances recommending gun ownership, the gun giveaway effort appears to be the first of its kind. “If you are not willing to protect the citizens of Tucson, someone is going to do it, why not me? Why not have armed citizens protecting themselves,” said Shaun McClusky, a real estate agent who plans to start handing

Former Tucson mayoral candidate Shaun McClusky talks about the privately funded program he is launching to provide residents in crime-prone areas with free shotguns so they can defend themselves against criminals, Thursday in Tucson, Ariz. [AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin]

out shotguns by May. Arizona gun proponents have donated about $12,500 to fund the gun giveaway and McClusky, a former mayoral and city council candidate, hopes to collect enough to eventually arm entire neighborhoods. Participants will receive training on how to properly use, handle and store their weapon, as well as trigger locks. It costs about $400 per participant for

the weapon and training. Tucson police officials declined to discuss the gun program or public safety concerns, but statistics published by the department show violent crime was at a 13-year low in 2010, with 3,332 incidents. That compares with 5,116 violent crimes — including homicides, sexual assaults, and robberies — in 1997. Tucson averages about 50 homicides a year.

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Associated Press

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March 31, 2013


Obama pitches public works spending to create jobs Trip designed to show that economy, unemployment top priorities for president By JOSH LEDERMAN


Associated Press

IAMI (AP) — Trying to show that the economy remains a top priority, President Barack Obama promoted a plan Friday to create construction and other jobs by attracting private money to help rebuild roads, bridges and other public works projects. Obama fleshed out the details during a visit to a Miami port that’s undergoing $2 billion in upgrades paid for with government and private dollars. The quick trip was designed to show that the economy and unemployment are top priorities for a president who also is waging high-profile campaigns on immigration reform and gun control. Obama said the unemployment rate among construction workers was the highest of any industry, despite being cut nearly in half over the past three years. “There are few more important things we can do to create jobs right now and strengthen our economy over the long haul than rebuilding the infrastructure that powers our businesses and economy,” Obama said. “As president, my top priority is to make

President Barack Obama speaks at a port in Miami, Friday, promoting a plan to create construction and other jobs by attracting private investment in roads and other public works projects. [AP Photo/Luis M. Alvarez]

sure we are doing everything we can to ignite the true engine of our economic growth — a rising, thriving middle class.” Among the proposals Obama called for, which require approval from Congress, are:

• $4  billion  in  new  spending  on two infrastructure programs that award loans and grants. • Higher caps on “private activity bonds” to encourage more private spending on highways and other infrastructure projects. State and local governments use the bonds to attract investment. • Giving foreign pension funds  tax-exempt status when selling U.S. infrastructure, property or real estate assets. U.S. pension funds are generally tax exempt in those circumstances. The administration says some international pension funds cite the tax burden as a reason for not investing in American infrastructure. •  A  renewed  call  for  a  $10  billion national “infrastructure bank.” Arriving at the expansive port in Miami, Obama stood inside a double-barreled, concrete-laced hole in the ground, touring a tunnel project that will connect the port to area highways. The project has received loans and grants under the programs Obama touted and is expected to open next summer.

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Telluride Performing Arts Department presents:

Society Turn


Construction Resumes April 2013

words and music by Tim Rice & Andrew Lloyd Weber

Project Overview

 On Monday, April 1, 2013, the

Colorado Department of Transportation will resume construction on a $2.6 million project to build a new roundabout at State Highway 145 (SH145) and Society Turn, approximately 3 miles west of Telluride.

 This safety improvement project will replace the “T”

intersection with a roundabout.

Schedule and Traffic Impacts

 Impacts to travelers should be minimal. Motorists may

expect brief delays with occasional stops for work between the hours of 9 am - 3 pm, Monday - Friday. However, the crews will be working on the site from 7 am - 5:30 pm, so please exercise caution when traveling through this work zone. Traffic will remain on the current roadway until the spring work commences.

 Construction is expected to be completed by October


Hank Williams Construction thanks you for your cooperation and patience during this project

For more information, please contact the Project Team at 970-325-2244 or

or visit:


directed by Angela Watkins with musical direction by Tuck Gillett

March 29th & 30th at 7:00 pm, March 31st, Easter Sunday, at 2:00 pm the Michael D. Palm Theatre Tickets available at the Telluride Intermediate School office in the Palm Theatre lobby or at the door. Call 970.369.4719 adults $15 students $10 This show is rated PG-13


March 31, 2013


Telluride Daily Planet

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agreement, this will be accomplished by sharing data, strategies, plans, tools and engaging in dialogue. In January, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service released a proposal to list the bird as “endangered” under the Endangered Species Act. The birds live in shrub habitats and exist in seven populations in southern Colorado and Utah, including one in the San Miguel Basin. Commissioners have long worked to protect the bird, leading a lawsuit a few years ago against the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service for not listing the bird as endangered. San Miguel County contributes $9,500 a year to the San Miguel Basin Sage-Grouse Working Group and will have spent $78,500 in support of the group by the end of 2013. The comments to the FWS have five main points. The first questions the designation of an area around Egnar as critical habitat for the bird. “It seems like they used a broad view approach and we know the land a little better piece by piece, parcel by parcel,”

commissioner Joan May said. “A lot of that land has long ago been plowed and is bean fields. It doesn’t have sage brush on it now.” Some of the more than 1.7 million acres that will be designated as “critical habitat,” if the bird is listed as endangered, are in San Miguel County. The largest swath of the proposed critical habitat is in the West End of the county, with more, smaller areas on the county’s mesas. Critical habitat is land that the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has identified as essential for survival of the species. There are two divisions of critical habitat: “occupied” where the birds are known to exist and “unoccupied,” which may have been historic habitat or may support birds, but there is not enough data to know for sure. The second point has to do with oil and gas development. The FWS says in its proposed rule that it does not consider nonrenewable energy development to be a threat to the longterm survival of the species. But commissioners don’t agree. “We believe that to the extent the smaller populations are critical in maintaining genetic diversity; the threats posed by oil and gas to them seriously threaten the species as a whole,” commis-

sioners wrote in the comments. Commissioners also asked the FWS to clarify the definition of a “take.” Under the rule, if a landowner has property designated as critical habitat, they are not allowed to kill a bird or do anything that would result in killing a bird, like destroying its habitat. “They didn’t really give a very clear explanation of that,” May said. “We wanted better clarification.” Commissioners also identified home developments near Cone Reservoir as a principal threat to the persistence of the sage-grouse. In the comments letter, commissioners urged the FWS to make its listing decision based on scientific data, after taking economic impacts into consideration. “We support anything that Fish and Wildlife determines is the best way for supporting the viability of the species, anything they can back scientifically,” May said. Earlier this month, the FWS extended the comment period on the Gunnison sage-grouse listing by three additional weeks — until April 2.

Conference Center results tract that we would see strong “I’m concerned that TSG is leadership, crisp organization not nailing this out of the gate,” and rapid progress — we’ve seen Mayor Dan Jansen told Tel- none of the things,” Delves said ski officials during the meeting. at the meeting. “We’ve seen no “Things like not cleaning the leadership, we’ve seen anarchy facility and not getting a sales — that’s the organization model we’ve seen — and and marketing plan negative progress, “We’ve seen no in place on time are not good. Please leadership, we’ve and TSG is grossly delinquent at this take the contract seen anarchy — point. It’s happenand really immerse that’s the orgaing everywhere, and yourself in it. We will nization model it’s got to stop.” not tolerate bad perSpecifically, we’ve seen — and formance.” Jansen went on negative progress, Delves said, Telto say the council and TSG is grossly ski had been late on deadlines and was is making a point delinquent at not communicating to keep a close eye this point.” well. on how the ConferJim Mikula, the ence Center is being Bob Delves new executive vice managed. He said Former mayor and councilman president at Telski, that in the past he thinks that if the council would presented the plan, which outhave monitored what Cadence lined different entities that are was doing more closely, it could involved with marketing at the have seen better results from the center. They include the Town of Mountain Village, Telski and center. However, the toughest com- the Telluride Tourism Board. ments came from former mayor According to the plan, marketand councilman Bob Delves. ing responsibilities for each enDelves directed his comments tity are divvied up by different toward Telski Owner Chuck groups that may want to use the Horning, who was not present center. The plan states the TTB will during the meeting. “We were told that if we al- handle larger groups that may lowed TSG to assume the con- require multiple hotels as well

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as the center. Meanwhile Telski will try to create core annual events that utilize the center. The town has also contributed around $125,000 toward the center’s marketing and capital expenditures. Around $50,000 of that will go toward marketing efforts, while the rest will be used for things like capital improvements. Last year the town spent around $35,000 to conduct a survey of the center to show what improvements would be the most cost effective. The study pointed out several areas of potential improvements, which were listed in a two-phase plan. Phase one involves improving and upgrading the current conference center. Phase two would involve an expansion of the facility and would come with a higher price tag. While the council appeared to accept the marketing plan presented, some members would like to have seen it presented to the council sooner. During the meeting, Jansen said he thought the study made some good points that he would like to see implemented. “We hope that you guys can make it work,” Jansen said.

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Resort Closing Day, from page 1

the season. Allred’s closes April 6. Alpino Vino will continue with regular operating hours for lunch through April 7. It is no longer

open for dinner this season. Big Billie’s and Crazy Elk close Monday. Bon Vivant will be open through the end of the season with regular operating hours, as will High Camp and Giuseppe’s. Bon Vivant will continue with its French Underground Happy Hour starting at 2 p.m. every day with 25 percent off wine and beer and half-price desserts.

Gorrono Ranch will be open with regular hours through the end of the season, with a prom party on April 6 and pond skimming closing day, April 7. Live music will follow at the base of the mountain. Tomboy Tavern will stay open until April 12.

tellUriDe DailY Planet

VOiCes March 31, 2013 Page SeVeNTeeN

The empirical kids


welve years ago, I of young people agree with the wrote a piece for statement, “America should be The Atlantic, called more globally proactive.” The “The Organization Occupy movement, Buhler notes, Kid,” about the “launched more traffic jams than smart, hard-work- legislation.” The Arab Spring ing, pleasant-but- seemed like a popular awakening cautious achievatrons who thrive but has not fulfilled its promise. In what I think is an especialin elite universities. Occasionally, somebody asks me how stu- ly trenchant observation, Buhler dents have changed since then. I suggests that these disillusionhaven’t been perceptive enough ing events have led to a different epistemological framework. “We to give a good answer. But, this year, I’m teaching at are deeply resistant to idealism. the Jackson Institute for Global Rather, the Cynic Kids have emAffairs at Yale, and one terrifi- braced the policy revolution; they cally observant senior, Victoria require hypothesis to be tested, Buhler, wrote a paper trying to substantiated, and then results capture how it feels to be in at replicated before they commit to least a segment of her age co- any course of action.” Maybe this empirical mindset hort. Buhler points out that the is a sign of maturity, but Buhler college students of 12 years ago acknowledges that the “yearning grew up with 1990s prosperity at for definitive ‘evidence’ ... can home, and the democratic tri- retard action. ... The multiplicity umph in the Cold War abroad. of options invites relativism as a response to the insurThey naturally had a NeW YoRK TIMes tendency to believe daVid brOOks mountable complexity. Ever the policy buffs, deeply “in the American model of democratic capitalism, we know we are unable to sciwhich created all men equal but entifically appraise different opallowed some to rise above oth- tions, and so, given the information constraints, we stick with ers through competition.” Then came Sept. 11. That was the evil we know.” She suggests calling this state followed by the highly moralistic language of George W. Bush’s of mind the Tinder Effect, referring to the app that lets you war on terror. But Bush’s effort to replicate scroll through hundreds of pothe Reagan war on an evil em- tential romantic partners, but pire lead to humiliation, not tri- that rarely leads to a real-life umph. Americans, Buhler writes, encounter. Buhler’s most comprehen“emerged from the experience both dismissive of foreign inter- sive disquiet is with the meritovention as a tool of statecraft as cratic system itself. It rewards well as wary of the moral lan- an obsessive focus on individual improvement: “Time not spent guage used to justify it.” Then came the financial cri- investing in yourself carries an sis, the other formative event for opportunity cost, rendering you today’s students. The root of the at a competitive disadvantage as crisis was in the financial world. compared to others who mainBut the pain was felt outside that tained the priority of self.” She wonders if the educated world. “The capitalist system, with its promise of positive-sum class is beginning to look at the gains for all, appeared brutal less-educated class — portrayed on TV in shows like “Teen Mom and unpredictable.” Moreover, today’s students 2” and “Here Comes Honey Boo harbor the anxiety that in the Boo” — as a distant, dysfuncrace for global accomplishment, tional spectacle. She also wonthey may no longer be the best ders if the mathematization of competitors. Chinese students public policy performs a gatespend 12-hour days in school, keeper function; only the elite while U.S. scores are middle of can understand the formulas that govern most people’s lives. the pack. I had many reactions to In sum, today’s graduates enter a harsher landscape. Im- Buhler’s dazzling paper, but I’d mediate postgrad life, Buhler like to highlight one: that the writes, will probably bear a de- harsh events of the past decade pressing resemblance to Hannah may have produced not a youth revolt but a reversion to an emHorvath’s world on “Girls.” Buhler argues that the group piricist mindset, a tendency to she calls Cynic Kids “don’t like think in demoralized economic the system — however, they phrases like “data analysis,” “opare wary of other alternatives as portunity costs” and “replicabilwell as dismissive of their ability ity,” and a tendency to dismiss to actually achieve the desired other more ethical and idealismodifications. As such, the gen- tic vocabularies that seem fuzzy eration is very conservative in and, therefore, unreliable. After its appetite for change. Broadly the hippie, the yuppie and the speaking, Cynic Kids distrust the hipster, the cool people are now link between action and result.” wonksters. And, yes, I gave her an A. A Brookings Institution survey found that only 10 percent

Traveling in the clouds


a r i j u a n a a hard time finding any trace of tourists” are local history, given the proliferaexpected to tion of ever-more-absurd casino converge on hotels mimicking exotic destinaColorado and tions — the Statue of Liberty, Washington, hoping to score with- the Eiffel Tower, Egyptian pyraout fear of handcuffs, because mids, and who knows what else. voters in those states legalized But local officials are promoting recreational pot last November. a landmark that has been flashArthur Frommer, founder of the ing since 1959 (around the time, famous Frommer’s Travel Guides, many imagine, that Las Vegas observes that “already, hotels in history began). We’re talking Seattle and Denver are reporting about the 25-foot-tall, diamondnumerous requests for reserva- and-star-shaped neon sign that tions by pot support- HIGH CoUNYTRY NeWs proclaims: “Welcome ers planning visits.” to Fabulous Las Vegas.” raY ring The ballot measures This sign was listed on didn’t prohibit purchases by the National Register of Historic out-of-staters, so now, both state Places in 2009, probably due to governments are scrambling to the power of Nevada Sen. Harry craft regulations limiting mari- Reid as much as to its national juana tourists to small purchases importance. Even people who’ve — maybe an eighth of an ounce, never been to Las Vegas know enough for five to 10 joints, re- the sign because it often symbolports The Wall Street Journal. A izes the city in movies, news respecial Colorado “task force” of ports and YouTube videos. “Peocops, marijuana businesspeople ple come from all over the world and legislators recommends that and want their picture taken ... signs be installed in airports and by the sign,” Clark County Comalong the state’s borders “telling mission Chairman Steve Sisolak visitors they can’t take pot home” told the Las Vegas Review-Jourto other states, AP reports. Dan nal recently. “It’s oftentimes imPablon, a Denver legislator, says possible to get a parking space firmly, “Marijuana purchased (near it).” Rest assured: County in Colorado must stay in Colo- officials are spending $800,000 to rado.” All this presumes that the add about 20 new parking spaces Obama administration will hold near the fabulous sign, along off enforcing the federal ban on with “button-controlled crossrecreational pot. walks and traffic lights to make pedestrian access easier,” the FABULOUS LAS VEGAS The millions of tourists on Review-Journal reports. Mark the Las Vegas Strip might have Rumpler, a “tribute artist” who dons a white leather Elvis Pres-

ley costume to pose with the sign for tourists’ snapshots, is among those happy about the improvements. ONE-PERCENtER tRAVEL Western “luxury hotels” are offering innovative high-end outdoor recreation experiences to attract wealthy customers, reports The Wall Street Journal. The Hotel Jerome in Aspen, Colo., advertises an “ultimate adventure package” that includes “a three night stay in a Deluxe King room, a snowshoe tour (with lunch) and a twilight dog sledding excursion through the still, snowy wonderland of Aspen,” for $2,150 per couple. However, “some programs don’t fly,” the Journal observes. “The Resort at Pelican Hill in Newport Beach, Calif., created a $5,000 per-person, two-night stay that included one day of fishing and another of picking produce, each accompanied by a resort chef” who ended it with dinner — but nobody bought that designer tourist package because “it was too complicated.” The Ritz-Carlton in Dana Point, Calif., tried to hire professional surfers to give lessons to guests, but scheduling the lessons “becomes a challenge,” a hotel spokeswoman told the Journal, as the pesky surfers rank the work below their top priority; you never know when they’ll “fly off to go where the waves are.”



Sheriffs have strayed DEAR EDITOR, I’ve read with open-mouth fascination of a posse of sheriffs in this state who are innocent of basic civics, specifically the doctrine of Separation of Powers. These sheriffs say they will not enforce the gun-control mandate of a democratically elected legislature and governor because, they’ve concluded, the legislation won’t keep guns out of the hands of criminals and instead will punish law-abiding citizens. The legislature’s job is to consider evidence and arguments about what will and won’t work, and to craft the laws; the executive — enter the sheriffs — enforces the laws and the courts interpret them. Our sheriffs seem to have strayed into the province of court and legislature, where they are unequivocally trespassing. They’re entitled to their views on gun control, no matter how out of step they are with evi-

dence, data, reason, or the world outside. They’re even entitled to engage in civil disobedience — for that is what they’re doing — but they’re not entitled to pretend that what they’re doing is their jobs. Police officers’ opinions on the efficacy of laws have never mattered in our system, and they don’t now. The sheriffs aren’t doing their job of enforcement; rather, they’re doing its opposite, volunteering to enable others in breaking the law. Complicit in what the people have defined as illegal conduct, they’re doing, in short, a very poor job. And in a perfect world, they’d be applauded for exercising their rights to free speech, and then they’d be fired. caMerOn POWell TELLURIDE

prOteCting YOur pOCketbOOk

DEAR EDITOR, It is with pleasure that I announce to the residents of the R1 School District that on Feb. 13, 2013 the Telluride Fire Protection District closed on a financial transaction, in association with George K. Baum & Co., that will ultimately save our taxpayers $405,571 in interest expense on the taxpayer-approved 2004 general obligation bond. We executed the closing while markets were favorable to borrowers and succeeded in lowering the interest rate from 4.85 percent to 1.70 percent, which results in a 13.17 percent saving for the remaining life of the bond. The TFPD is very proud to continue its commitment to fiscal responsibility with your tax dollars. Your support is always appreciated! Sincerely,

JOhn BenneTT,




Author of NCAA report says nothing amiss

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Cyclist Stefan Schumacher has acknowledged in an interview with a German magazine that he used banned substances including EPO and human growth hormone. The 31-year-old German rider was quoted Friday as telling the weekly Der Spiegel that he would be prepared to share what he knows with the World AntiDoping Agency, the International Cycling Union and others “if that is wanted.” He says, “In the beginning, I fought an inner battle over the doping substances, but at some point this conflict is gone. Doping becomes an everyday thing, like the plate of pasta after training.” Schumacher was given a twoyear ban after his samples from the 2008 Tour de France showed traces of the blood-boosting hormone CERA.

Play Free. Forever.



tions? It didn’t change the equation, for the purposes of responsibility,” Wainstein said. “The other thing people want to know is whether the NCAA had some influence on what we should include or not include in the report. The bottom line is we decided what went in the report.” A report Wednesday night suggested the NCAA was trying to cover up the fact that more than one investigator was involved in gathering information through a third party that was conducting depositions in a bankruptcy case. The admission of wrongdoing has caused consternation inside and outside the NCAA’s headquarters in Indy. But Wainstein defended the report by noting that on Page 22, there was a footnote that acknowledged at least three members of the enforcement staff —including Hannah and Brynna Barnhart, the associate director of enforcement — were aware the NCAA was providing questions to Perez. It went on to say Hannah understood there was “common work” being performed between the job Perez was doing for Shapiro and the NCAA and that’s why the questions were sent to Perez.

AP Sports Writer

NDIANAPOLIS (AP) — The man who looked into the NCAA’s botched investigation involving the University of Miami said Thursday he was aware multiple NCAA officials knew about the arrangement with Nevin Shapiro’s attorney during the improper collection of evidence and that the information was included in the report released last month. What was excluded: That Director of enforcement Stephanie Hannah continued providing questions to Maria Elena Perez, Shapiro’s attorney, after taking over for Ameen Najjar even though the NCAA’s legal counsel advised against it. The report’s author, attorney Kenneth Wainstein, cited two passages in the document that explained Hannah, like others in the enforcement department, believed the governing body’s legal counsel approved the deal. He said the information about the questions was left out because it wasn’t pertinent to the report’s ultimate findings — who was at fault. “The one thing people have asked is why didn’t we reference the fact that she provided ques-

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March 31, 2013


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QB Campbell eager for fresh start with Browns


SUMMERGUIDE 2013 This attractive, magazine-style guide is a high-impact, high-readership special edition that is the perfect way to market your business to locals and visitors alike. Distributed and re-stocked throughout the summer in Telluride, Mountain Village, Norwood, Montrose, Ridgeway, Moab and the surrounding region.

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browns signed the veteran to a two-year contract this week


LEVELAND (AP) — Jason Campbell is more interested in getting off to a fresh start with his new team rather than worry about where he might fit on the Cleveland Browns’ quarterback depth chart with Brandon Weeden. “There’s nothing that’s been promised or has been said or written. But I’m going to come in and help the best way I possibly can,” Campbell said during a telephone conference call Thursday. “I’m not going to really get caught up in the speculation that might be going on.” The speculation might be tough to avoid, given that the rebuilding Browns signed the eight-year veteran to a two-year contract this week to compete with Weeden, who is coming off an uneven rookie season. And make no mistake, Campbell’s confident he still has what it takes to be an NFL starter. “Yeah, I still believe I can still play that position,” he said. The 32-year-old Campbell has 71 career starts split between Washington, Oakland and Chicago. And the Redskins’ 2005 first-round draft pick feels rejuvenated some 16 months since

being sidelined by a broken collarbone. “Last year, I spent most of my offseason rehabbing, getting my shoulder back right,” said Campbell, who spent last season with Chicago. “Having a full year and a full offseason to get back to feeling good and feeling normal, I definitely feel like I still can play at a high level.” It wasn’t lost on Campbell that the injury occurred in a game against the Browns. “I know, how ironic is that,” Campbell asked. “That’s something I thought about when I signed.” The injury was the latest setback to what’s been an inconsistent career. It happened in his second season with Oakland, and after he helped the Raiders get off to a 5-2 start. With Campbell sidelined for the rest of the season, he eventually became expendable after Oakland acquired Carson Palmer. “It was tough because you felt like something was kind of taken from you a little bit,” Campbell said. “The only thing you can do about it is keep moving forward. You can’t let it get you down.”

San Miguel Power has a vacancy on their board for

District Two

District boundaries: Town of Telluride from east of South Tomboy and North Townsend Streets, north to Tomboy Rd and east to approximately one half mile from Royer Lane

Members of District Two who are interested in serving on SMPA’s Board of Directors must submit: • Letter of interest explaining why you would like to serve Board will select and • Current resume appoint new director at • Short bio (2 pages or less) their April 23 meeting!

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March 31, 2013


NASCAR races after Latino market with TV series Series co-produced by Univision and NASCAR

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ONTANA, Calif. (AP) — Ela Rivella is a sexy, headstrong race car driver torn between two racing brothers in a glamorous, high-stakes world of cutthroat competition and danger. Ela loved Jordi Fernandez until jealousy drove them apart, and now she’s irresistibly drawn to Checo, whose clandestine romance with Ela could drive Jordi to violence. Sound like a soap opera? Maybe some particularly ambitious Formula One fan fiction? It’s an actual novela — the wildly popular short-run series that flood the Latino television market in North America and beyond — co-produced by Univision and NASCAR to put the down-home American sport of stock car racing in front of millions of Spanish-speaking viewers who might have never watched a NASCAR race. This remarkable blend of speed and cheese will debut on Univision’s website in a series of five- to seven-minute episodes starting in April before appearing on Univision on May 5. Called “Arranque de Pasión, La Historia de Ela,” it’s an audacious

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attempt to expand the NASCAR brand into the growing Latino population through a particular form of storytelling. “Nobody knows a lot about NASCAR,” said Kate Del Castillo, the famed Mexican actress producing and starring in the novela. “I think we have to get much more exposure for NASCAR. When you think about it, it’s all about family, and that’s what we like. It’s about spending an en-

tire day at the track. It’s an experience, a whole day for family, and yet it’s very dangerous. It’s very dramatic. I think it’s perfect for us.” NASCAR’s entertainment arm realizes it’s trying something unusual, but NASCAR vice president of entertainment marketing Zane Stoddard believes novelas are one way to crack a market that’s been targeted for a decade with varying success.


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USTIN, Texas (AP) — The Texas Relays is typically a showcase event for one of the nation’s most prominent college track programs. The first big outdoor meet of the year draws some of the top names in the sport, including Olympians and world champions, to compete or just be seen by crowds that can top 20,000. But this year’s meet, which started Wednesday and runs through Saturday, is under a cloud of scandal that has rocked the Texas program. Women’s track coach Bev Kearney resigned in January as she was about to be fired over revelations that she had a relationship with an athlete in 2002. Last week, Kearney went public with her long-simmering rivalry with men’s coach Bubba Thornton, alleging she was also verbally abused or ignored by administrators who dismissed her complaints of a hostile work environment for more than a decade Kearney, who won six national championships in 20 years at Texas, has filed formal federal and state race and gender dis-

crimination complaints, the first steps toward suing the university. Texas spokesman Nick Voinis said university officials “disagree with the statements and allegations” in Kearney’s complaint and said the school would file a response with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and the Texas Workforce Commission. Kearney was one of the most popular track coaches in the country, a member of the U.S. Track and Field and Cross Country Coaches Association Hall of Fame and the International Women’s Sports Hall of Fame. Since 1992, Kearney’s athletes have won 18 Olympic gold medals and many have returned to the Texas Relays over the years to run on their home track or honor their coach. And as host coach, Kearney was a dominant presence at the meet. Even after suffering severe injuries in a 2001 car accident, Kearney could often be seen monitoring her athletes on the track and infield from her motorized scooter. Kearney still has a large imprint on the program. Her longtime assistant, Rose Brimmer,

has taken over the women’s team as interim head coach, and Michelle Freeman, one of Kearney’s closest friends, was promoted from a volunteer assistant position to a paid one. Brimmer predicted this year’s Texas Relays will be a success despite Kearney’s absence and the controversy. “Coach Kearney is no doubt a legend, but I think people come to the Texas Relays because they’re the Texas Relays,” Brimmer said. “It was great before Coach Kearney and it’ll be great even after she’s gone.” Kearney’s formal complaint exposed the deep tensions that roiled between the men’s and women’s programs even as they occupied the same track. Kearney alleges that shortly after Thornton was hired before the 1996 track season, he tried to damage her reputation as a coach. Kearney wrote a letter to UT officials in 2004 complaining that Thornton belittled her to coaches at other schools and even offered them Kearney’s job, saying the women’s program would soon be consolidated under him.


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Insured & Licensed ~ No job too small Certif ied Massage Therapist Downtown Telluride Office: 226 West Colorado Ave. Second Floor, above The BountyHunter

(970) 728-6804 or 626-5773

• Massage • Accupuncture • Counceling • Beauty • Alternative Healing • Fitness

Call 728-9788 ext. 10

Home Services

Business & Residential Satisfaction Guaranteed References Available Fully Insured & Bonded

970-252-9239 970-901-8362

Since 1989

Serving Telluride Since 1999

Family Owned & Operated a RICHARDSON is on the job Everyday! On Time and On Budget Many local references available

Residential & Commercial 970.729.0854

Cumulus Telluride TELLURIDE WINDOW WASHERS • SAN JUAN CHIMNEY SWEEP P.O. Box 3107 • Telluride, CO 81435

(970) 728-5624

don’t HAVe A StoReFRont?

Complete Move-In Services • Furniture Assembly, Arrangement, Repair • Art Placement and Installation



Floor care • Carpet Cleaning Janitorial Services Residential Cleaning

Professional care for the preservation and enhancement of your home



Colin Doyle


REROOF • MAINTAIN • REPAIR Careful with your roof for snow and ice removal: ICC Certified • Mfg Approved by 3 Mfgs • No One is Better for your Roof...not even close.

TELLURIDE ROOFING, INC (970) 728-5838 • Keeping Water out of your home since 1996

Experience protects your home!

Want your business to be seen?!? Get in the Planet’s Business Directory TODAY!

Hit ‘em with a


Call the Planet at 728-9788

Put your business before 40,000 readers every week! Call 728-9788 ext. 10 to find out more!



place your help wanted or rental ad today

970-728-9788 x10

March 31, 2013

Moving & Storage NORWOOD STORAGE And Warehousing

Anything, Anywhere, with Care

327-4432 or 901-4087 • Large Secure Yard • All Sizes Available • From 10’x10’ and Up • Custom Units Available

Local, Regional, National Moves Receiving and Storage Packing Supplies Fully Insured HHG and PUC Certified Telluride’s Movers Since 1984

Call for Competitive Pricing and Move in Now!

(970) 728-4658

39400 HWY 145 NORWOOD

Self Storage

Get noticed!

in the Telluride Area

8x10s, 8x20s & 8x40s

Public Notices The Uncompahgre Board of Cooperative Services (UnBOCS) and its member districts of Norwood, Ouray, Ridgway, Telluride and the West End, will be accepting applications from parents who believe their child would meet requirements for early entrance into Kindergarten or First Grade.

Place your business in the Daily Planet’s Business Directory today!

Contact your district elementary principal for application packet. All applications must be completed and turned in to your elementary school by April 1, 2013.

Call 728-9788 ext. 10 to find out more!

Contact Uncompahgre Board of Cooperative Services (UnBOCS) at 970-626-2977 with questions about this application.

Telecam @ (970)728-4445





Property Management


Looking for private hunting land for lease in Unit 70. Call Chad: 817-269-8092 or Tony:817-247-5828 The Ride Festival, July 13/14, is now accepting craft, food, and non-profit vendor applications. Contact Todd at or 970-728-6400. Cochella Festival? Desert Climbing/ Hiking/ Biking/ Golf? April 19-26th-Marriott Shadow Ridge Vacation Club-Palm Desert, CA. Sleeps 4! A STEAL@only $999 970-270-7898 WANTED ! cash paid for one or two Thursday Bluegrass tickets - call David 808 282 9295



Classifieds: small but POWERFUL


Atmosphere Day Spa in Camel’s Garden is currently hiring:


Massage Therapists Estheticians Manicurist

$90 for 4 weeks (up to 20 words)

Join our wonderful staff of therapists!

Make your ad stand out with extras!

To apply, please call 970-728-0630 or visit our website at

BOLD, REVERSE, REVERSE, or BOXED ads just $5/wk Add a LOGO or IMAGE for $25/wk $30/wk for ads 20 words or less

ZOLEO OPERATIONS is currently hiring for the following opening:

! ED

Office Assistant


Sales Associate

Part time Maintenance Technician Please apply in person or email resume to

Long Term

Part-time Housekeeping/ Front Office person for the Backcountry Inn, Norwood.

For Sale

Must be able to work weekends, evenings and holidays.

3 BEDROOM / 2 BATH condo located in the heart of town.



Sunny Side / Ski Area Views


No Pets / No Smoking


w/d, dw, forced air heat Call (970) 728-9788x10

Montrose County Road & Bridge

221 South Oak Bistro Seeks Summer Staff Looking for experienced servers, expeditors and bussers to join our team. Must be professional, have attention to detail, flexible schedule and ability to multi-task. Email your resume to:

Full-time year around positions. Operator I, truck driving and heavy equipment operation. Class A or B CDL license preferred $15.75 if you have the class A or B. Questions 864-7608 Montrose County Clerk & Recorder

Apply on-line at The Victorian Inn, Telluride Housekeeping—Full Time must be able to work weekends. Experience Preferred. The Victorian inn solicita housekeeping tiempo completo con ganas de trabajar, Buena actitud, positives, y para trabajar fines de semana puedes venir por tu aplicacion te esparamos!!!!! 970-728-6601 / 401 W Pacific Avenue Ask for Karine Family looking for someone with teaching experience in the Elementary Level (preferred) or someone with Preschool and or Upper Level experience to teach at least 2-3 hours daily our 18 month-old while in Telluride this summer (June 28July 21st). Please send resumes to Office-Manager: high,energy individual to manage administrative and patient reception duties of busy healthcare practice. Excellent customer service, communication, and computer skills. 32hours/week to start, competitive base+incentive bonus, benefits. Submit cover letter/resume:

Currently Hiring: FT Night Auditor




Call (970) 728-9788 x10 or email

Ask for Brandi or email resume to Delilah has filled all open positions but is always accepting applications. No Felonies.

A New Restaurant is seeking front of the house and back of the house employees. Opening in May. Knowledge of Spanish/ Mediterranean food a plus or 970-728-1117 Eddie McStiff’s is looking for a seasonal full time Floor Manager, April 1st - October 31st. Download application at, attention Aaron. Manager applicants should have great references and restaurant knowledge.

Part-time Pastry Chef 2 days per week Hours are 5am to 1pm Start ASAP Please contact via email:

Graphic Designer The Daily Planet is currently accepting applications for full-time Graphic Designer. Must be proficient in Adobe Creative Suite CS3 or higher and QuarkXPress a plus. Must be comfortable working and creating in a fast paced atmosphere and meeting daily deadlines. Prior print publication design and newspaper experience a plus. Job duties include; ad building, page layout and various other related tasks. This is a full time hourly position with benefits.

Bell person/Driver

Please email cover letter, resume and portfolio to and/or

Evening Houseperson


Concierge Spa Concierge

Housekeeping Attendants Please visit to apply or call Wyndi Nelson at 970.728.7116 for more information.

<Franz Klammer-Image>

Eddie McStiff’s is looking for happy, experienced waiters, bussers and hosts. Please pick up an application or download at, attention Aaron. Community Banks of Colorado is currently eeking qualified candidate to fill Personal Banker in our Telluride location. For details and to apply, please visit

Stop in for application FOR SALE 1966 CHEVY CHEVELLE SS 454 CUBIC Inch Engine w/ less than 1,000 miles Front Disk Brakes Beautiful Black Interior w/ console Tach, and clock Great Cruising Car


Part-time position assisting with Motor Vehicle registration, Recording and Elections.

Hiring for Summer:

The Telluride Daily Planet

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

Temporary, off-season laborers

has the largest reach of any media in the region and is the only newspaper dedicated to news and information about the Telluride area.


Help Wanted

<Franz Klammer-Logo>

Help Wanted

Advertise with Us

Telluride Daily Planet

Eddie McStiff’s is looking for line cooks with a minimum of 2 years experience. Please pick up an application or download at, attention Aaron or Gabby

The Angler Inn, opening May 1st, formerly the Blue Jay Lodge & Cafe, is Hiring for the Summer Season: All Restaurant and Bar Positions, Housekeeping, and Front Desk. Send resume to


March 31, 2013

Telluride daily PlaneT

Help Wanted <Peaks-LOGO> Summer Employment Opportunities at the Peaks: Food & Beverage Supervisor Barista Host/Hostess Servers Room Service Servers Bus Persons Bartender Houseman Housekeepers/Room Attendants Hair Stylist Nail Tech Massage Therapist Spa Attendants/Cleaners Pool / Kiva Attendants Sales & Conference Services Coordinator Please apply in person at 136 Country Club Drive Or email resume to 970-728-2541 EOE

Miscellaneous For Sale - Mountain Village Wood Burning Fireplace Permit. (970) 708-1444 From custom beams to 2x4s and tough sheds to play houses. We also do fire breaks / clear cutting lots. Call 970-327-4985 and leave a message.

Pets Don’t Shop - ADOPT Every year 4-6 million animals are euthanized. By adopting you are saving a life! 25% of shelter animals are purebred! Visit to find a rescue pet near you.


Telluride Bistro is now accepting job applications for all positions for the 2013 Summer Season Drop off a resume or email to

Commercial Rentals first couple weeks FREE telluride main street great sun, ski mountain views 304sf Office; 589sf Professional Suite parking level 970-728-3313

Plant & Lawn Care/ General Plaza Upkeep The Town of Mountain Village is looking for employees to join our team in a fun and friendly environment. Looking to fill seasonal positions starting end of April/ first of May. Plant and lawn care, public plaza upkeep, & assistance with special events. Weekend shifts likely. Valid driver’s license and pre-employment drug testing required. $13/hr plus $1/hr end of season bonus if you complete season. Apply on-line: EOE/DFW 29 Serious People to Work From Home using a computer. Up to $1500-$5000 PT/FT Free info ASAP Accounting & Payroll is currently seeking an Administrative Assistant; someone with energy and excellent customer service skills who is a multi-task master! Visit about/careers/ for Job Description and application instructions. FLAVOR TELLURIDE Seeking experienced prep and line cooks. Positions available immediately send resume to Telluride based EC Looking for RW/JM or an App with experience. Email resume or letter of interest with qualifications and references to

Lawson Hill 1000 sq/ft. 2 parking-spaces $1200 obo, All utilities Included 6-month lease only May1st to 11-1st Contact Greg @708-1206 Nice Main Street 2nd Floor Office Space For Lease. 1675sf for $4895/ mo includes NNN and parking. May be subdivided into two, smaller, separately leased spaces. Mike, 970.708.2157 ILIUM INDUSTRIAL PARK OFFICE SPACE month to month leases available $525/mo Call Telecam @ (970) 728-4445 Mountain Village Plaza Level. Retail or Office space, up to 1800 SQ FT, includes covered parking space. Low rent! 728-6268 Commercial Space on S. Davis. Creekside with small deck, private bath. $795/mo. Sally Puff Courtney, 728-3086 PRIME MOUNTAIN VILLAGE CORE LOCATION -CENTRUM BUILDING. Office and Retail space Available Immediately. George Harvey 970-729-0111

Vacation Rentals Condominium Townhouse. 2BR/2.5BA 2 lofts, deck, fully equipped kitchen, W/D, spa on premise. Supermarket on-site. Available 6/1-8/31 970-728-2012

MV Longterm Sunny 3BR/3BA full remodel Fairway 4 End Unit. Amazing views, walk to 1/10, parking, quiet neighborhood. Avail May/June. Pet neg. $2200/ mo 1yr discount 970-708-1296

MV Longterm

Telluride Long Term

Sunny 2 bed/2bath Furnished Condo. Walk-in/Ski Home. Jetted Tub. Pets Negotiable. Low utilities. Garage Space. $2000 Long-term Lease 970-708-7759

2 Bedroom/2 Bath, furnished, new floors/appliances, jacuzzi, 2 balconies, covered parking, block to gondola/ market, no smoking/pets, $2200 (610) 731-1507

3BR/3BA Developer’s Unit. Master w/jetted-tub. Gas fireplace, 2-car garage. Unfurnished. Low utilities NS/pets-neg. $2250/mo. May 1. Sign lease April 1; get $200 off a month for a year! 970-729-3163




TOP MOUNTAIN VILLAGE VIEWS 1 bed/1bath, 700SF, unfurnished, W/D, D/W, garage parking, private patio, hot tub. Available now. Separate unit of private home. $1250/mo No pets/No Smoking. Call Jim 303-393-0615 or Cindy 303-807-1727




Norwood Longterm 2bd/2ba mobile home behind Backcountry Inn Fully Furnished $1250/Month w/all utilities or $700 plus utilities. No Pets/No Smoking Contact Brandi 970-327-4232 $625/mo. + utilities 2Bed/1Bath/Apartment Clean/secure/central location, large living room and kitchen, W/D hookup, storage/parking, no dogs/no smoking, Call Jim/Cathy 970-327-4853.

Ophir/Illium Long Term 2 Bedroom Apartment for rent in Ophir $1,000 includes gas and electric. Call Ron 970-708-0046

Ridgway Long Term NORTHRIDGE APARTMENTS in Ridgway. Perfect location, close to Telluride, Ouray & Montrose. 1 and 2 Bedroom Apartments Available. Unfurnished, starting at $750/$850, including utilities. No smoking, Pets negotiable. 970-728-3000

Oak St Studio w/sleeping loft + 1bdrm/ bath lockoff, W/D, steam shower, views, sunny windows, deck, No Smokers, $1500+util, Scott 503-956-4114 Ski-In/Ski-Out Condos In Town 1 & 2 Bedrooms for rent, new construction, heated parking, ski-in/ out, deed restricted, prices starting at $1,334/mo includes utilities. 970-728-5280 **Furn 1 bed/bath near Hotel Telluride. W/D, DW. No smoking/pets. $1,150/ mo util incl. 970-729-1201 FURNISHED CONDO IN ILLIUM 4 Bedroom/3 Bath w/washer & dryer. Sleeps up to 12 and available immediately! Call Telecam 970-728-4445 1 bedroom / 1 bath Condo 665 sq. ft. centrally located in town $1000+utilities 970-729-2446 In Town – furnished sleeping room, private entrance/bath. Utilities, internet , cable included. Covered parking negotiable. Avl May 1st minimum 6 mo lease, 1st, last, deposit. 708-1149

In Town 1Bdr 2bath, furnished, granite, new appliances, d/w, deck, parking, hottub, no dogs(: $1250+ elect, avail now. 970-708-5139 RU QUIET AND CLEAN? bedroom/bath + kitchen/internet. central sunny side home. no pets/smoking. available now. call Dave; 651-757-7142 3-Bedroom 3-Bath Condo on Coronet Creek. 446 Dakota. Large front and back decks. Pets allowed. W/D. $2400. Available June 1st. Call Chris 970-519-1537 3 bed 3 bath w/common spa May 1st $2500+unilities No pets/smokers Jenny 729-2882 also Garage for rent/sale. Contact Sal 708-0340


573B West Pacific Avenue is a newly renovated and expanded completely free-standing 4 bedroom/3 bath ski property. Heated 2 car garage parking & storage. Offered furnished & move-in ready at $1,995,000.

Jason K. Raible 970-729-0720

Land 35 acres, great views with well and utilities, end of the road privacy in carsten’s ranch, owner carry, low down $329k. 303-818-8830

Rico - Large Commercial Lot (near geo-thermal) Route 145 Make offers, 5% down, Owner Financing 732-425-3266

Down Valley Long Term Wilson Mesa 2 Bedroom $900, 3 Bedroom $1500, or 5 Bedroom $2300 per month. Year Lease Tenant pays Electric heat and utilities. Cozy wood stoves. Views, Privacy, Good pet owners accepted. Poss work credits. Photos on Craigs List. 970 708-1437 Super Nice Cabin 2/BD 2/BA large loft plus storage in Dramatic Private Setting. Gas,WD,Steam,Garage, Pets Okay. L/S SatelliteTV. Furnished/Unfurnished Available Now! $1150/Month +utilities 708-0058

Contractors/Engineers <MTN BUILDERS-LOGO>

MARK CARLSON - General Contractor Building Locally Since 1979 ICC Certified New Construction & Renovations (970) 728-4947


Telluride Long Term Spacious 1bedroom 2 full baths sunny windows, small deck, unfurnished or furnished No pets. $1400+Uitlities. 970-729-0760



BE A MASSAGE THERAPIST NEXT SKI SEASON! MountainHeart School, Crested Butte! 6 Month Certification. May 28th. 800-673-0539

Moving & Storage 147 Hillside Lane is a 4 bed/4 bath almost 3400 sq.ft. single-family home backed by open space & USFS land. No RETT. Offered at $890,000 (only $262/sq.ft.)

Jason K. Raible 970-729-0720 INCREDIBLE 5BR/4BA home on 35 private hilltop acres adjacent BLM and Nucla Airport. One hour to slopes: $595,000. (970)257-0300

SELF STORAGE TELLURIDE AREA 8x10s, 8x20s, & 8x40s Call Telecam @ (970) 728-4445 Reader Notice: As a service to you — our valued readers — we offer the following information. This newspaper will never knowingly accept any advertisement that is illegal or considered fraudulent. If you have questions or doubts about any ads on these pages, we advise that before responding or sending money ahead of time, you check with the local Attorney General’s Consumer Fraud Line and/or the Better Business Bureau. This newspaper cannot be held responsible for any negative consequences that occur as a result of you doing business with these advertisers. Thank you.


March 31, 2013

Calendar The Telluride Daily Planet accepts local calendar items via e-mail at calendar@ please, no phone calls. Events may take several days to appear in the published events calendar and may not run each day due to space considerations.

sundaY, marCh 31: easter egg hunt fOr the familY: Telluride Ski Resort COmmunitY easter egg hunt: 11:45 a.m., Imagination Station in Town Park, for more information call Maureen at 519-1768 free COmmunitY easter dinner: 2 p.m., United Methodist Church of Montrose, S. 1st. St. Fellowship Hall, RSVP at 2493716 “Jesus Christ superstar”: 7 p.m., Michael D. Palm Theatre, Telluride Schools’ Performing Arts Department alCOhOliCs anOnYmOus meeting: 5:30

p.m., Christ Presbyterian, 434 W. Columbia Open miC/arts lab: 7 p.m., O’Bannon’s mOVie: “Jack the Giant Slayer” (PG-13) 5:30 and 8 p.m., Nugget Theatre

mOndaY, april 1: blOCk Of the mOnth knit alOng: 11 a.m.-6 p.m., Needle Rock Fiberarts “let the right One in”: 5 p.m., Wilkinson Public Library, TFF Cinematheque: Classic Horror Feature alCOhOliCs anOnYmOus meeting: 5:30 p.m., Christ Presbyterian, 434 W. Columbia apple/ pC tips and triCks: and 2, 6-8 p.m., University Centers of the San Miguel, with Joe Huff, $70 Wagner’s “parsifal”: 6 p.m., The Michael D. Palm Theatre, Metropolitan Opera on the Big Screen, running time 4:20, tickets are $20 for adults and $15 for students


By SALLy BROMPtON birthdaY sundaY: The more other people say they know what is best for you the more you should listen to your own inner voice – and don’t be surprised if it tells you something completely different. Then all you have to do is act on it. birthdaY mOndaY: The Sun at odds with Pluto on your birthday means you will face many challenges, but never doubt you have what it takes to fight and win. As an Aries you’re at your best when your back is to the wall. aries (march 21 - april 20): The recent full moon in your opposite sign of Libra may have damaged your confidence a bit but you are not the sort to worry about it for long. The cure for selfdoubt is action, a very Aries thing! taurus (april 21 - may 21): You know you have much to learn but why is it that so many of the people you have to learn from are the kind of people you would rather avoid? Maybe it’s all some big cosmic joke. Try laughing more.

deed transfers MARCH 22

Price: $32,000

Seller: Deborah and Michael Stoltzner Buyer: Golden Ledge 3 LLC Property: (Vacant), Telluride Price: $1,675,000

Seller: Von Sabia LLC Buyer: Katherine and Louis Lefevre Property: 1/20th interest in 567 Mountain Village Blvd., unit 209-10, Mountain Village Price: $65,000

MARCH 25 Seller: Elizabeth and Nicholas Ball Buyer: David Barth Property: 1 Elkstone Place, Mountain Village Price: $1,675,000 Seller: Richard and Michelle Dehaven Buyer: Tom and Gwen Davidson Property: 1/10th interest in 567 Mountain Village Blvd., unit 306-1, Mountain Village Price: $110,000 Seller: Marlene and Kenneth Townsend Buyer: ARD Telluride LLC Property: 1/20th interest in 387 Mountain Village Blvd., unit 316-3, Mountain Village Price: $32,000 Seller: ARD Telluride LLC Buyer: Marlene and Kenneth Townsend Property: 1/20th interest in 567 Mountain Village Blvd., unit 315-13, Mountain Village


Seller: Savage Ann Sellet Tweedy Trust Buyer: JDBL.K LLC Property: 650 Mountain Village Blvd., Mountain Village Price: $200,000 MARCH 26 Seller: NJ Holdings LLC Buyer: Wishbone Telluride LLC Property: 232 E. Pacific Ave., unit R, Telluride Price: $392,700 MARCH 28 Seller: Tango Papa Aviation Inc. Buyer: Spitfire LLC Property: Hanger 1, Last Dollar Rd., Telluride Price: $350,000

Worship Section                728.3504   Easter  services:    7:30  top  of  Gondola   10  AM  at  Alpine  Chapel   12:30  at  top  of  chair  7   6  PM  at  Crossroads  

CHRIST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH A Progressive, Inclusive Christian Community That Values The Unique Quality Of Your Spiritual Journey Toward A More Authentic Life


Sunday School Programs for Elementary Ages and Toddlers

434 W. Columbia Ave. 970-728-4536 Facebook: Telluride’s Christ Presbyterian Church



burger + fries



sCOrpiO (Oct. 24 - nov. 22): Don’t feel bad if you have not done as much as you had hoped. And don’t try to do two days’ worth of jobs in one day to catch up or your health may suffer. Everything will get done eventually, so why rush?

CanCer (June 22 - July 23): Don’t let other people make important decisions for you this week. What they see as being in your best interests you will see as an intrusion into your personal life. There are some things you should always do yourself.

sagittarius (nov. 23 - dec. 21): If there is something positive you can do to help a friend or workmate this week then do it. If, however, you suspect that getting involved would risk making a bad situation even worse then keep your distance.

VirgO (aug. 24 - sept. 23): There is a real possibility that if you rush ahead too quickly you will make a serious mistake. Get colleagues and employers to spell out what it is they expect of you – it may be different to what you had assumed.

aQuarius (Jan. 21 - feb. 19): Others will happily unload their worries and woes on you over the next few days – if you let them. You may be the kind of person who wants to help everyone but that’s a mental and emotional impossibility. Be selective.

libra (sept. 24 - Oct. 23): The Sun and Venus, your ruler, put the spotlight on partnerships this week, so do whatever it takes to stay on good terms with other people. Don’t expect others to be just like you – no one’s that perfect!

pisCes (feb. 20 - mar. 20): Family and finances are under good stars as the new week begins and if you are prepared to help other people they will help you back in surprising ways. Ultimately, good words and good deeds are always rewarded.











Finlandia bloody $ 4 w/ pbr side car Milwaukee Mimosa $2 + red beers

131 North Fir Street, Telluride, CO 970.728.6207

27 One of 

Steinbeck’s  twins 29 Coiner of the  phrase “global  village” 38 Group that  might perform  16-Across 39 Indians may  participate in it 40 Frequent  American flier? 41 Hill person:  Abbr. 42 Pros in power:  Abbr. 43 Texting qualifier 46 W. Coast  setting, more  often than not 48 Now, in Italy 49 “Live at the  Apollo” airer 52 Key name 54 All-day sucker? 57 He played  Casey Kelso  on “That ’70s  Show”








Edited by Will Shortz

59 Linchpin locale 60 Fading out 61 Sixth in a 





No. 0222
















15 17






26 29





27 32


25 28


38 39 40 41 43 52

42 46





48 55


56 59





puzzle by martin ashwood-smith

32 It may be on 

the house

33 Bridge 

designer’s  concern

34 E-mail, e.g.: 


35 Mountain 36 “Look ___ now”

37 Bill ___ Climate  49 Lord of the 

Lab (Oakland  science exhibit) 43 Cooler, in the  ’hood 44 Violet relative 45 Like Mork 47 Puts soft rock  on? 48 Black Bears’  home


50 They get nuts 51 Grip improver 53 Characteristic 


55 Electric flux 


56 Throw for a 


58 Cyclones’ sch.

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit for more information. Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, ($39.95 a year). Share tips: Crosswords for young solvers:

ur focused dedicated readers are your future customers.

Contact advertising today at 970-728-9788 or



Down   1 General Reno  for whom Reno,  Nev., is named   2 1994 Emmy  winner for  “Dvorák in  Prague”   3 Oil vessel   4 Moola   5 Gifted person?   6 Creta, e.g.   7 Beach house?   8 Apply   9 Quaker offering 10 Keep in order? 11 “Mrs.” in a Paul  Gallico novel  title 12 City called  “Knightsbridge  of the North” 13 Auto  suggestion? 15 “Judgment at  Nuremberg”  Oscar nominee 19 Like some  outboard  motors 24 Getting in gear 26 Noted Titanic  couple 28 Nintendo’s ___  Mansion 29 Delivery  people? 30 “How now!  ___?”: Hamlet 31 Delhi cheese?



series 62 “Tin Cup”  co-star 63 Aforetime




For Release Friday, March 29, 2013



$ 150 cheese burger + beef tacos IS LADIES BURGER $ 550 fried chicken fish tacos DAY+NIGHT NIGHT $ 4 sliders $ 2 +WING $7 margs burger + fries $ 3 buffalo sliders $ 2 NIGHT tequila shotsThe New specialty drinks $ 4 York Times Syndication Sales Corporation $ ladies drink 1/2 off & coke 620 jack Eighth Avenue,4 New York, N.Y. 10018 jim beam shots $ 3 all day + night For Information Call: $7 12 1-800-972-3550 hot wings



CapriCOrn (dec. 22 - Jan. 20): It may surprise you that some people are so unsupportive of your efforts but it shouldn’t. Clearly they are jealous of your ideas and want to see you fail. That’s not going to happen – Capricorns NEVER fail.

leO (July 24 - aug. 23): You may feel tied down at the moment but very soon you will get your freedom back. Before then why not make use of your time to clear up the backlog of jobs you don’t want to do but know that you must.

neW YOrk times CrOssWOrd   1 B.M.O.C.,  typically   5 Aids in keeping  up with the  daily grind? 14 Biblical figure  believed to be  buried near  Basra 15 Yucca named  by Mormon  settlers 16 Handel work  featuring David 17 Poorly  educated 18 Pleasant  surprise for a  buyer 20 Cretan peak 21 Have chops,  say 22 Its purpose is  in sight 23 Papuan port 25 Phishing string:  Abbr. 26 Lee in  Hollywood


gemini (may 22 - June 21): You may have only limited sympathy for a friend or colleague who has got themselves in a lot of trouble but that does not mean you can turn your back on them. You are a good-natured person at heart.



Telluride daily PlaneT


March 31, 2013


Telluride daily PlaneT nOn-seQuitur: WILEY MILLER

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ea $3.49

Telluride's only downtown full service grocery

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March 31, 2013

Telluride daily PlaneT

Healing with needles Healing, from page 34

ticing in a place she loves. Buchanan is “obsessed with the practice.” It’s kept her healthy for the last 20-some years, she said. And she enjoys making her clients feel better. “I just really like helping people,” she said. “To me, it’s just

really fun.” For the months of April and May, Buchanan will be offering a welcome home discount to the residents of Telluride. This notion of welcome home reflects not only her return to the Telluride community, she said, but a return toward caring for one’s

self in a deeply holistic way. For a consultation or to set up an appointment, call Petra Buchanan at 708-1547, call Studio G at 728-8700 or go online to


Woo Colorado gun company “Though many feel the actions tions have been selected,” the taken by your state government Facebook post, dated March were appropriate,” he wrote, “we 18, read. “We have made some in Alaska do not.” Chenault, R-Nikiinitial contacts and ski, authored a resoevaluated a list of lution that passed “Though many new potential locathe Alaska House tions for additional feel the actions on Thursday that manufacturing and taken by your encourages “threatthe new company state government ened firearms and headquarters, and we will begin talks were appropriate, firearms accessories manufacturers” to we in Alaska with various state consider Alaska as a do not.” representatives in place to do business. earnest if the GoverMIKe CHeNAUlT It is one of several nor indeed signs this Alaska House Speaker measures proposed legislation.” in the GOP-conAlaska House trolled Legislature Speaker Mike Chenault, in a letter to the this session dealing with gun president and CEO of Magpul rights and taking a stand against this week, said he read “with any perceived infringement on shock and disdain” reports of the Second Amendment rights by new laws on guns in Colorado. the federal government. One, gUns, from page 34

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which a legislative attorney has labeled largely unconstitutional, would make new federal laws or regulations restricting the ownership of semiautomatic firearms or magazine of a firearm unenforceable. Chenault said Alaska is good to businesses, citing, among other things, the lack of a personal state income tax, low corporate taxes and “wealth of military installations.” He also did some friendly ribbing, acknowledging the rival social media sites vying for Magpul’s attention. “Just remember: they say everything is bigger in Texas, until they come to Alaska, where we have more than twice the area, and less big hair,” he said.

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Sister Sparrowand The Dirty Birds

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Telluride Society For Jazz

Winter Jazz- Ski Season Finale Saturday April 6th, 2013 Doors open at 8:30 Fly Me To The Moon Saloon $10 in advance $12 at the door or at Wizard

*FrIdAY, AuguST 2 Telluride Allstars Leaders & Alumni Band • Nigel Hall Band • The Motet

john Scofields’s Überjam Band

*SATurdAY, AuguST 3 Telluride Student All Stars jazz Ensemble • Voodoo Orchestra • Son Como Son doug Lawrence Organic Trio • Meshell Ndegeocello • dr. Lonnie Smith

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March 31, 2013


Telluride daily PlaneT


Free tax help is available if you look










Bruce MacIntire, Broker

(970) 729-0979 cel

If running a small business or investment property, it’s better to hire a professional




AP Business Writer

ree tax help is available, and it’s not only for those in financial need. Some organizations offer free services regardless of how much you earn. AARP, the nonprofit organization that advocates for people over 50, has relaxed income requirements for who can receive free tax preparation assistance and also helps people of different ages. Meanwhile, the Internal Revenue Service offers free tax advice and basic online filing, regardless of income. For taxpayers who earn under a certain amount each year, the free offers are sweeter. The IRS provides free in-person federal tax preparation as well as free brand name online tax preparation. That said, those options are best for people with uncomplicated finances. If you’re running a small business or own investment property, you will be better off hiring a professional. Here’s where to find free tax help:

FREE FACE-tO-FACE FILING: If you want to sit down with a tax preparer, there are a couple of options: AARP offers free federal and state tax preparation for people with “moderate incomes,” says Bonnie Speedy, the national director of the organization’s TaxAide program. But it doesn’t have any strict restrictions. A person making more than $100,000 a year may be asked to hire a professional rather than use an AARP volunteer, says Speedy. But if the person has an income over $100,000 because of an early retirement account withdrawal, they’ll gladly help, says Speedy. AARP will file taxes for younger people too. “We’ve helped college students file their taxes,” says Speedy. And you don’t have to be a paying member of the organization. AARP’s tax services are available at about 6,000 locations around the county, usually in libraries, hospitals or senior centers. You can find a location near you on AARP has about 36,000 volunteers that are trained and tested, says Speedy, who is also a volunteer tax preparer.

The IRS offers free in-person federal tax filing too, but with restrictions. You must have an adjusted gross income below $51,000 to qualify. The tax preparation help is usually provided in IRS offices, libraries and colleges around the country. You can find a location at: http://1. . FREE ONLINE FILING: If you would rather file your taxes yourself, the IRS offers free federal online filing for those with an adjusted gross income under $57,000. The IRS partners with about 15 different websites you can choose from, including H&R Block and TurboTax. Each site will walk you through the filing process step-by-step, but also comes with its own set of restrictions. To use H&R Block for free, for example, you must make $57,000 or less and be under 52 years old. Go online, at http://1.usa. gov/WWHt74 , to see which free service you may qualify for. Some states also offer free filing too, but you’ll have to search online for your state’s tax department to determine if it’s available and any eligibility requirements.

Telluride Trappings & Toggery


All new spring merchandise Featuring new spring collections by: Free People, Michael Stars, Lucky Brand, Prarie Underground, 3 Dot, Mystree, Yogi, Lole, Tommy Bahama, Robert Graham and much more! Open Daily - 9am-9pm

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March 31, 2013

student lOans

Congressional inaCtion CoUlD Cost College stUDents By PHILIP ELLIOtt


Associated Press

ASHINGTON (AP) — Congressional inaction could end up costing college students an extra $5,000 on their new loans. The rate for subsidized Stafford loans is set to increase from 3.4 percent to 6.8 percent on July 1, just as millions of new college students start signing up for fall courses. The difference between the two rates adds up to $6 billion. Just a year ago, lawmakers faced a similar deadline and dodged the rate increase amid the heated presidential campaign between President Barack Obama and Republican challenger Mitt Romney. But that was with the White House up for grabs and before Washington was consumed by budget standoffs that now seem routine. “What is definitely clear, this time around, there doesn’t seem to be as much outcry,” said Justin Draeger, president of the National Association of Student Financial Aid Administrators. “We’re advising our members to tell students that the interest rates are going to double on new student loans, to 6.8 percent.” The new rates apply only to those who take new subsidized loans. Students with outstanding subsidized loans are not expected to see their loan rates increase unless they take out a new subsidized Stafford loan. Students’ nonsubsidized loans are not expected to change, nor are loans from commercial lenders. But it translates to real money for incoming college freshmen who could end up paying back $5,000 more for the same maxed-out student loans their older siblings have.


Telluride daily PlaneT




Premier Ski-in/out Residence

232 Benchmark Drive Mountain Village This NEW LISTING is one of the premier Ski In/Ski Out homes in Mountain Village located trail side on the Galloping Goose Ski Run. This special home offers five bedrooms with two master bedroom suites. In-floor radiant heat, central air conditioning and humidification. Many unique features include an incredible courtyard designed for apres ski entertaining. Offered as a turnkey ski home fully furnished including a 2008 Cadillac Escalade ESV. $5,995,000

Patrick Pelisson Broker

Patrick Pelisson, Broker I 970.708.1384, cell I 237 South Oak Street @ the Telluride Gondola I Telluride, CO 81435 I


Telluride Animal Foundation

Oliver Oliver is a happy energetic 8 mos. border collie/springer spaniel mix that loves people and gets along great with other dogs. Rusty is 8 years old and came to Second Chance after his owners apartment banned dogs. He is a loyal companion, sweetheart and snuggle bunny. He has a slight deformity on his right foot, but it doesn’t hold him back and in fact he loves going for walks and walks great on a leash.



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Telluride THRIFT


The Telluride Thrift Shop is seeking gently-used items. All proceeds are disbursed by the Telluride Animal Foundation, a nonprofit serving animal welfare groups in Colorado and beyond.

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March 31, 2013


Telluride daily PlaneT


Drone industry worries about privacy backlash Featuring the Art of Dr Seuss and Jewelry by Campagna Fine Jewelers.

Drone makers counting on civilian market to spur industry growth

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Associated Press

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Celebrating 28 years on Main Street 130 E. Colorado Ave.



ASHINGTON (AP) — It’s a good bet that in the notso-distant future aerial drones will be part of Americans’ everyday lives, performing countless useful functions. A far cry from the killing machines whose missiles incinerate terrorists, these generally small, unmanned aircraft will help farmers more precisely apply water and pesticides to crops, saving money and reducing environmental impacts. They’ll help police departments find missing people, reconstruct traffic accidents and act as lookouts for SWAT teams. They’ll alert authorities to people stranded on rooftops by hurricanes and monitor evacuation flows. Real estate agents will use them to film videos of properties and surrounding neighborhoods. States will use them to inspect bridges, roads and dams. Oil companies will use them to monitor pipelines, while power companies use them to monitor transmission lines. With military budgets shrink-

ing, drone makers have been counting on the civilian market to spur the industry’s growth. But there’s an ironic threat to that hope: Success on the battlefield may contain the seeds of trouble for the more benign uses of drones at home. The civilian unmanned aircraft industry worries that it will be grounded before it can really take off because of fear among the public that the technology will be misused. Also problematic is a delay in the issuance of government safety regulations that are needed before drones can gain broad access to U.S. skies. Some companies that make drones or supply support equipment and services say the uncertainty has caused them to put U.S. expansion plans on hold, and they are looking overseas for new markets. “Our lack of success in educating the public about unmanned aircraft is coming back to bite us,” said Robert Fitzgerald, CEO of The BOSH Group of Newport News, Va., which provides support services to drone users. “The U.S. has been at the lead of this technology a long time,”

he said. “If our government holds back this technology, there’s the freedom to move elsewhere ... and all of a sudden these things will be flying everywhere else and competing with us.” Since January, drone-related legislation has been introduced in more than 30 states, largely in response to privacy concerns. Many of the bills are focused on preventing police from using drones for broad public surveillance, as well as targeting individuals for surveillance without sufficient grounds to believe they were involved in crimes. Law enforcement is expected to be one of the bigger initial markets for civilian drones. Last month, the FBI used drones to maintain continuous surveillance of a bunker in Alabama where a 5-year-old boy was being held hostage. In Virginia, the state General Assembly passed a bill that would place a two-year moratorium on the use of drones by state and local law enforcement. The measure is supported by groups as varied as the American Civil Liberties Union on the left and the Virginia Tea Party Patriots Federation on the right.

Community Banks of Colorado is pleased to welcome

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Start SAViNg NoW on your energy bill. Clean Energy Collective (CEC) builds, operates and maintains offsite community-owned solar arrays that you, your neighbors, and local businesses can all be a part of. You receive all the financial and environmental benefits of solar, without the hassles of a rooftop system. For customers of San Miguel Power Association, CEC has built a community-owned solar array to make easy, clean energy available to everyone.

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Looking for competitive rates and mortgage options to meet your mortgage banking needs? Community Banks of Colorado’s Andi Alexander would love to talk with you. With more than 19 years of local knowledge and experience in mortgage lending in the Telluride area, she’s able to provide professional and friendly service to those in and around the community.

877-877-0395 A division of NBH Bank, N.A., Member FDIC.

March 31, 2013


Telluride Daily Planet


eap the rewards of living in Telluride...


Peace, Balance, Well Being.



3 5

1 • 116 Lawson Pt., Adams Ranch - UNOBSTRUCTED VIEWS


2 • 766 Golden Eagle, Horsefly Mesa - PRIVACY, VIEWS, VALUE

Never before on the market, this elegantly appointed, 4-bed 4-bath home affords unobstructed views of the Sneffels and Wilson Ranges. Close proximity to the MV Nordic track and private tennis court. $1,675,000

2,256 SF, solar powered residence with vaulted cieiling featuring dramatic Sneffels Range views on 40 acres. Idyllic pond, wood-fired sauna, geodesic greenhouse plus storage/garage. $495,000

3 • Little Cone Ranch, Specie Mesa - INCREDIBLE WILSON VIEWS

4 • 518 East Columbia Avenue, Telluride - SUPERB TOWN VALUE

74 acres with a tranquil pond, aspens and snake fencing. Beneath the flanks of Little Cone Peak the property enjoys huge Wilson Range views and adjacency to national forest. $1,195,000

Charming 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom home features beautiful Ski Area, Bear Creek and Box Canyon views. Significant home sales in this neighborhood recently, this is an opportunity not to be missed! $1,250,000

5 • 8121 Preserve Drive, The Preserve - IRREPLACEABLE ESTATE

6• Knightsbridge, Mountain Village - PRIVACY, VIEWS, LOCATION

Over 18,000 SF on 28 acres includes a main residence, 2 guest houses, caretaker’s residence & horse barn. Contemporary interiors with rustic tones highlight massive views of Wilson & Sunshine. $17,900,000

Secluded among majestic spruce and aspen with end-of-road privacy, this refined home provides exceptional finishes with dramatic Sneffels Range views. 11,359 SF with 7 beds, 9.5 baths plus a private ski trail. $9,200,000

Market Fact According to Telluride Consulting, 33 properties closed in San Miguel County during the month of February for a total dollar volume of $22,444,382. This represents an increase of 19% in dollar volume and 18% in number of transactions when compared to February 2012. Stephen Cieciuch (Chet-chu) Managing Broker

Stephen Cieciuch (Chet-chu), Director | | 970.369.5322, Direct | 970.708.2338, Cell 237 South Oak Street at the Telluride Gondola | Telluride, Colorado 81435 I



alasKa seeKs to Woo ColoraDo gUn CoMPany Company plans to leave state over new firearms restrictions


sunday focus: business & real estate


birthdays march 31: Robert Blackney, Gloria Fioramonti, Marla Hartman, Jennifer Hase, Carlotta Horn, Kit Jackson, Jeremy Jones, Charles List, Steve Lovshult, Caleb Martin, Lora Nedset, Mark Plantz, Kathy Roe, Thomas Sessions, Gary Simon, Jr., Chantry Kellie Steele, Michelle Wright; april 1: Ron Bercovitz, Tarja Berry, Kitty Brown, Karen Burns, James Gauvin, Doug Geissler, Levi Heinold, David Henry, Susanna Hoffman, Julie Houck, Angela Johnson, Charlie Kane, Timothy Misavage, Gina Nocera, Haley Ortiz, Edward Powell, Elke Rock, Lea Sisson, Donna Stapleton, Stephanie Voorlas, Dani Whittaker, Dustin Williams, Gerald Wilson.

Learn from other’s mistakes so you don’t make the same ones. The San Juan Field School presents “Close Calls” Monday night, the last presentation in its Avalanche Awareness Forum Series. CAIC forecaster Matt Steen, patroller Peter Inglis and Josh Butson will lead the discussion, starting at 7 p.m. at Rebekah Hall.

March 31, 2013

Associated Press

See gUns, Page 29

2. 3.

The final installment of the six-part horror retrospective with Telluride Film Festival Cinematheque is Monday night at the Wilkinson Public Library. Swedish vampire movie, “Let the Right One In,” begins at 5:30 p.m. The film and food are free.

The SecOND FrONT Page


UNEAU, Alaska (AP) — Alaska is making its pitch to woo a Colorado company that has threatened to leave that state over new restrictions on firearms. Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper two weeks ago signed bills that require background checks for private and online gun sales and ban ammunition magazines that hold more than 15 rounds. Magpul Industries, which manufactures firearms accessories and ammunition magazines, said on its Facebook page that it would have “no choice” but to leave if the magazine bill was signed, causing an opening for states eager to prove they’re more gunfriendly, like Alaska. Facebook pages have popped up — some, before the Colorado bills were even signed — encouraging Magpul to settle in places like Alabama, West Virginia or Texas. Alaska state Rep. Tammie Wilson’s staff created a Facebook page, too, called “Magpul Industries - Alaska Wants You.” Jeremy McGowan, of Buckhannon, W.Va., said he started his Facebook page, “Bring Magpul to West Virginia,” with “very little hope” of actually attracting Magpul. But he said he wanted at the very least to draw attention to the issues raised in Colorado and try to prevent something similar from happening in West Virginia. “I don’t think we are a minority at all,” he said. “I think a lot of us feel we have been pushed in a corner.” Phone, email and Facebook messages seeking comment from Magpul weren’t returned. On its Facebook page, two days before the bills were signed, the company said it would start its transition out of Colorado “almost immediately” if the ammunition bill became law. “We will likely become a multi-state operation as a result of this move, and not all loca-


Chocolate, Peeps, plastic grass and pastel-colored eggs abound on Sunday with two kid-friendly Easter Egg hunts. The first takes place at 9 a.m. in the Mountain Village Core. Round two is at 11:45 a.m. at the Imagination Station in Town Park. For more information on the Telluride hunt, call Maureen at 519-1768.


JaCQUeline gloKler naMeD general Manager at eleMent 52 Has long career in hospitality industry

Petra Buchanan, a licensed acupuncturist, recently returned to Telluride to practice Chinese medicine and acupuncture. [Cour-

tesy photo]


Healing with needles Petra Buchanan returns to town to practice acupuncture By KAtIE KLINGSPORN



hen Petra Buchanan was a teenaged cross-country runner in Berkeley, Calif., she became afflicted with painful shin splints. Her friend’s father ended up taking her to an acupuncturist, and she was immediately drawn to the treatment that utilizes the long, spindly needles. “I fell in love,” she said. Not only did it fix her ailment, but it captured her fascination. From that point on, she knew she wanted to work in acupuncture. She took the roundabout path to the practice — her parents weren’t fans of the idea, so she studied art in college — but has been treating patients with Chinese herbs and acupuncture for nearly a decade. Buchanan, who practiced acupuncture at an Ah Haa clinic and other venues from 2006-2008 in Telluride, recently returned to town from a five-year stint in California. The licensed acupuncturist is treating patients at Studio G, The Peaks Resort and Spa and out of her home office. She treats all sorts of pains and conditions, but specializes in muscularskeletal issues, women’s health

and internal medicine. She can help people with everything from diabetes to asthma, muscle pain and fertility, she said. “Acupuncture treats everything,” she said. “It balances the energy in your body.” She is excited to be back in Telluride to share her skills and expertise — including the things she learned while she was away. When she sees patients, Buchanan has them fill out a detailed intake form, takes their pulse and asks them questions about diet, lifestyle, sleeping and other health issues. She then treats them based on the comprehensive health picture she puts together. Acupuncture involves the placement of sharp, thin needles into specific points at the body; the process aims to alter the body’s energy flow into healthier pathways and patterns. The ancient practice has been recognized by the World Health Organization for treatment of everything from allergies to gastrointestinal disorders to lower back pain. And it’s just one piece of the Chinese medicine picture. Buchanan also has a fully stocked single-powder Chinese herb pharmacy. She works with herbs

like ginger, peony root, licorice and goji berries to treat people, and the powder form makes for easy consumption — patients just make a cup of tea. After college, Buchanan worked as a bike messenger and chef for a few years before deciding it was time to pursue acupuncture. She got her master’s degree in Chinese medicine from the Five Branches University in Santa Cruz, and moved to Telluride in 2006. After practicing for two years, she moved to California, where she taught at Five Branches University, mentored with the well-known practitioner Raven Lang, did volunteer treatments at a homeless shelter, was a partner at Felton Community Acupuncture and had her own practice at Santa Cruz Core Fitness and Rehab. She returned two months ago with her young children and an excitement to get back to pracSee Healing, Page 29

get treatment Acupuncturist Petra Buchanan works out of Studio G on Wednesdays and Fridays, The Peaks Resort & Spa on Tuesdays and Thursdays and her home office. Call 708-1547 to schedule an appointment.


uberge Resorts announced the promotion of Jacqueline Glokler to general manager of The Auberge Residences at Element 52 in Telluride. Glokler previously held the position of sales, marketing and PR manager at the luxury residence club. “Jacqueline has shown such leadership at Element 52, and we are so pleased to have her join our team of GMs,” said Eric Calderon, chief operating officer at Auberge Resorts. “Her exceptional background in hospitality is an asset to the property, and we are confident in her continued success.” Prior to joining The Auberge Residences at Element 52 in September 2012, Glokler served as a consultant for The Charlotte Inn, a Relais & Châteaux Property in Martha’s Vineyard, Mass. While there, she advised on the implementation of new hospitality technology and oversaw the design and launch of the property’s digital presence. Glokler began her hospitality career at the Bedford Post Inn, another Relais & Châteaux property in Bedford, N.Y., where she quickly moved up the ranks from the front office to inn general manager. During her tenure, she facilitated the opening of the luxury boutique inn and restaurant and gained her early experience in sales and marketing, finance and human resources. Auberge Resorts is a collection of hotels, resorts and private clubs, each with a unique personality that assures a memorable guest experience. Auberge has properties in Napa Valley, Calif., Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and Aspen, Colo., among other places.


news in Brief TELSKI

telski tries Out neW aValanChe mitigatiOn

Telski is testing out a new avalanche mitigation method this winter that involves driving snowmobiles off cliffs. With their heft, snowmobiles could be more effective at getting avalanche-prone aspects to slide than traditional bombs, said director of Ski Patrol Matty Kools. “It’s something we’re testing out to see if it’s a good fit for us,” Kools said. “It’s a bit unorthodox, but Telluride is known for doing things differently.” The trial run took place in March off the Gold Hill Ridge near Chute 7. It was deemed unsuccessful after the snowmobile did not get the slope to slide. Also, the snowmobile was totaled, which was not terribly cost-effective, Kools said. Patrol will give it one or two more shots next season, he said. TELLURIDE

free bOX and thrift stOre run Out Of partY COstumes

Telluride’s community Free Box and thrift store have run out of feather boas, leopard print pants, ‘80s prom dresses, wigs, one-piece neon ski suits and aviator sunglasses — and representatives say Telluride’s incessant weekend costume galas and parties are to blame. “First it was Halloween, then the Vegas party, followed by Superheros, Rock Stars and Hollywood,” said consignment store owner Pippy Longstocking. “Between those and the weekly retro ski party, we are completely cleaned out.” Last year, local international man of leisure Peter Glenwood scored big time when he found two pink turtlenecks in the Free Box that were two sizes too small just in time for KOTO Radio’s Pink Flamingo Bash. But this year: Skunked. “I don’t know what I’m going to do this year,” Glenwood said. “I guess I will just have to make do with my furry-hooded bomber jacket and American flag cape. And leather pants, of course.” TELLURIDE

prOtester liVing in lift 8 Chair

Daniel Moth has loved Lift 8 since the first time he rode up it three winters ago. It’s convenient, it’s a pretty ride through the aspens and it takes a direct route to the best place on the mountain, Lift 9, he says. So when he discovered that Lift 8 was being shut down by the ski company this winter, he decided to do something about it. Moth has been living on the 26 chair of Lift 8 since Feb. 20 to protest the shutdown. Using tarps, ropes and Gortex layers, he has fashioned a dwelling of sorts, and fellow protesters have been getting food and water to him from the tower pole. Moth spends his time writing poetry and folk songs about Lift 8, thinking up clever T-shirt designs and reading “The Celestine Prophecy.” He plans to stay up there until,

aPril 1, 2013 he says, Lift 8 is liberated. “Free Lift 8!” he said. “This lift wants to live, it wants to carry skiers, it wants to be a part of this collective community.” SAN MIGUEL COUNTY

spur OperatiOns Cut baCk

San Miguel County has announced a plan to limit operations on the Spur in an effort to reduce energy consumption. The decision comes after examining he Spur during off-peak time periods, and determining times and days when fewer than 5,000 cars use the road. It’s not cost efficient to operate the road when so few people are driving it, according to the county. San Miguel County will open the Spur during Presidents’ week, spring break weeks and days when they expect more than 5,000 cars. The road will also be open from 7-9 a.m. and 4-6 p.m. on certain days when heavy traffic is expected. During times when the road is closed, people can just drive around to Mountain Village and take the gondola into town, according to the county. “We realize it’s inconvenient for some locals, but it really wasn’t making sense to run the road like we were,” said County Road Department Director Paul Schmoo. “We have to think about our sustainability.” The decision has upset some locals who frequently use the Spur to get to and from Telluride. The Spur is a local’s favorite, said Lawson Hill resident Tommy Doyle. TELLURIDE

hOCkeY prOgram Wants tO eXpand intO palm

Telluride’s hockey programs are bursting at the seams in the Hanley Ice Pavilion and desperately need a new home. That’s the message of the Lizard Foot Hockey club, which is proposing that the Michael D. Palm Theatre be refrigerated and iced over for three months of the year to provide more space for figure skating, midgets, mini mites, mites, squirts, U19, U18, U16, U14, U12, bantam, pee wee, open skate, adult co-ed, men’s hockey and women’s hockey. “For the sake of our kids, we really need this ice,” said hockey program director Dirk Delaney. SAN MIGUEL COUNTY

nOrWOOd, redVale COnsider seCeding

The West End communities of Norwood and Redvale are considering a plan to secede from liberal San Miguel County, where they say they can’t get fair representation. “Frankly, we’re tired of our Republican votes not counting for beans,” said Norwood Mayor John Buck. “Some residents don’t even vote anymore because they know it won’t matter.” The communities are hoping to create their own county, Norvale, in hopes that their voices can be heard. In November’s election, San Miguel County voters showed its deep blue hues by overwhelmingly supporting Democratic candidates and issues — giving President Barack Obama 2,961 votes, compared with Romney’s

Telluride daily PlaneT


1,144. The county was the biggest supporter in the state of Amendment 64, which would legalize marijuana in the state. County residents have in the past supported such causes as saving whales, implementing local vegan diets into local schools and protesting anything that has to do with uranium. RECYCLING

smarts park aCCused Of theft

The San Miguel Area ResourceRecovery Park has temporarily suspended operations due to a pending accusation that it robbed a county resident of old tires. The park’s Director Jeremy Greenspoon said he had no idea that Cletus Boonpike of San Miguel County was collecting old tires for heating purposes. “We were told that there was a pile of old tires on public property that would be great to recycle, so we hauled them off,” said Greenspoon. However, Boonpike had a different version of the story. He claims the tires were part of an old dumpsite and were a family tradition. “You can say what y’all like, but I ain’t stopping burning them tires — those fellers burn all night,” Boonpike said. “I been frozen to the bone all night and in the mornin’ I can’t cook my breakfast — it’s sloppy eggs every morning.” Boonpike said he would take action into his own hands if the tires are not returned to their proper place, but until then he said he will stick to plastic bags and bottles. MOUNTAIN VILLAGE

neW direCtiOn fOr dial-a-ride — partY bus

Facing severe budget cuts, the former Dial-A-Ride service in Mountain Village has been testing a new service this month to make transportation fun and profitable. For a fee of $30 per hour, residents in Mountain Village can now call Dial-A-Rave and have the party bus deliver them wherever want to go. The vans have been equipped with a 500 watt DubStep only sound system, and as long as residents or guests don’t mind being delivered to their destinations half naked covered in glitter with a snorkel on, town officials think the compromise is a win-win. “You know I think it’s a good idea to make the service soluble for the future,” said former Mountain Village Mayor Bob Digs. The vans have tinted windows so no matter when a ride is requested it’s party time. While the service has be charging a deposit of $10 for roller skates, Delves said the town has simply lost too many pairs of skates to keep offering them for free. Drivers seem equally happy with the new changes and have been stocking up on glow sticks for their night runs. “You know I love loud Dubstep, and I just can’t get enough of bright strobe lights in my face while I’m driving,” said driver Cyril Keeperton. “So the next time you need some Skittles from the store or a box of popsicle sticks give us a call.”

art greattimes wins award

Art Greattimes, San Miguel County Commissioner, potato farmer, Mushroom Parade marshal, Western Slope Poet Laureate, basket weaver and rabbit musher, has another feather to add to his cap: Greattimes just won a national poetry award. The Mother Nature’s Best award was given to the Norwood resident for his “masterful use of language” and “ability to tap into the spirit of nature.” [Courtesy image]


I want my kids in the paper DEAR EDITOR: I am speaking for all the parents of the community when I say we are sick of seeing photographs of the same people in the paper every day. We know you coerce your friends into doing Quote of the Day. And we think certain kids are overrepresented in the pages of this paper. We are all so tired of seeing pics of the same kids all the time winning this and that race and doing amazing at soccer and basketball and hockey and the geography bee and getting GPAs of 4-pointwhatever and volunteering their time to help orphans in Africa. Really, enough of them! How about some photos my daughter? She’s on the B Team for the U7 hockey league. Or my son? He’s getting a B in math, isn’t that worth something? rachel MeSS

[Editor’s note: Dear Rachel, These days we can’t even get our part-time stringers to return our phone calls, so we just take

our photos with our iPhones or steal them from Google images. If you want to send us photos of your kids we will put them on the front page. But only if they are doing something really cool. And are photogenic.] DEAR EDITOR: How can you people stand by while Obama and the Martians are conspiring to take away our guns, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? You will not be satisfied until the Pinko Commie police turn ‘Merica into the gulags of Siberia. And now our taxes to feed and clothe these racist, drug-dealing murderers. Shame on you cowards for not protecting our borders. These people are such right-wing, teapartying, civil-liberties suppressing champions of Obamacare. And don’t even get me started on the corrupt liberal media and unconstitutional drone attacks… Bill MccruST

Finding the Inner Zorb ZorB, from page 36

ally?’ or I’d have macho blonde guys challenging me to ski offs over the hottest girl in town, but now I think we’ve gained some acceptance.” Back then the crew lived in a large van they simply referred to as the Bounder. From the Bounder they made friends, a few enemies in town and some frienemies, but the point is the crew got established. That was four years ago, since then, Zorb Liberation Nation has been founded out of Shandoka in Telluride and Viceroy has Zorbed

just about every square inch of Kid’s Hill and is gearing up for Palmyra. “You know Zorbing is a thing you can really only do when you’re in the zone — I’ve probably ran over more than two dozen kids and gotten kicked by, I don’t know how many, moms over the years,” Viceroy laughed. “It’s all fair game in Zorbing.” The crew plans to venture up Palmyra on Monday to hopefully make history, or simply fly into the rock wall of glory — either way it will be worth seeing.


neW FestiVal ProPoseD After fight, festivals ordered into group counseling By FANNy KLINGON


Town Council Correspondent

new summer festival, which a proponent says would bring a fresh kind of summer experience to the box canyon, is being proposed in Telluride. The festival, Box Canyon Jam and Party, would feature rock, reggae, blues, bluegrass, jazz, Cajun, psychedelic and jam music, says local man Tim Shiner, who brought a proposal to CCAASE on Wednesday. It would also include wine tastings, cooking demonstrations, yoga workshops, mushroom forays, naked bike rides, hot air balloon rides, film screenings, parades, art auctions, plein air painting, heritage tours, play readings, art walking, endurance runs, Shakespeare plays and fundraising bike rides. Shiner was seeking approval for the festival dates, which are June 1-Sept. 30 on the Town Park stage and other venues in Telluride and Mountain Village. “This town needs something else to really fill out the summer experience,” he said. “I believe this event could add color and life to the festival scene.” Shiner told the board that the initial year’s musical lineup is coming along nicely, with performances by Hootie and the Blowfish and Sugar Ray already pinned down. In addition, Sam Bush has offered to play anywhere from 15-30 shows. “And that’s just the music side,” he said. Rebekah Hall was packed with local festival figures who vociferously opposed Shiner’s plan. Many asked how it was even possible and complained that he was stepping on toes “with crappy music, to boot.” Some yelled, and one man threw his half-eaten apple at one point. “There’s enough of Telluride to go around,” Shiner responded. He suggested that on big festival weekends, like Bluegrass or Blues & Brews, the bands and crowds for each festival just alternate every hour on the hour. A statement sent to the meeting by Planet Bluegrass President Greg Maser simply stated: “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Discussion grew tense at times at the meeting — festival organizers yelled that Shiner was trying to “squash them out of existence” and an argument over the logistics of having porta potties in the Town Park ballfields all summer long broke into a scuffle, which CCAASE chair John Hiller broke up while ordering everyone to “calm down, for chrissakes.” In the end, CCAASE continued the discussion, and ordered Telluride’s festival leaders to group counseling.

birthdays april 1: Walter Buckhalter, Al Dente, Tyler Durden, Hugh Jass, Red Man, Iona Frisbee, Peter Glenn, Steve Winwood, Anita Drink, Brick Tamland, Ben Dover, Jackie Treehorn, Peregrin Took, Patrick Bateman,w Biff Tannen.

monday focus: fluff & Cajolery



Learn how to make kale smoothies with extra prana. On Sunday, the library will host a gluten-free, vegan, organic, sustainable, fat-free, sugar-free, nut-free, allnatural, cooking class. The workshop will offer tips on how to respond to friends when they accuse you of being “that guy” because you bring your own food to dinner parties.


Festival season is right around the corner. Don’t embarrass your kinfolk with your rusty hippie dancing. The Ah Haa School for the Arts offers a class every Thursday in noodle dancing to help you brush up on your skills. A hula-hooping class is also available, but costs extra.


The Friends of the Free Box host an information session entitled “Secrets to Living Cheaply in Telluride” on Monday. Topics covered will include: Ordering just the rice at Cocina and loading up on the salsa bar, sponging off friends at the Buck because you “forgot” your cash and sleeping in your car.

The SecOND FrONT Page aPriL 1, 2013


neW FestiVal DeterMines loCal statUs ‘Who is the most Telluride’ to take place Aug. 20-23

W Members of the Zorb Liberation Nation bounce down Palmyra Peak recently. For the first time ever, the north face of the peak is open to Zorbs — the latest sensation to grip Telluride. [Photo by Redman]

eXtreme spOrts

Finding the inner Zorb New sport taking Telluride by storm By COLLLIN MCCRACKEN



etting to the next level of extreme can be really hard. For some it can lead to activities such as extreme ironing, or testing fate on Ajax’s swing of destiny, but now there’s a new test of awesome in Telluride — the Zorb has arrived. Zorbs are plastic spheres that allow “zorbists” to strap into their center to take the ride of a lifetime. Once a Zorb is rolling very little can stop it, which is why the new Zorb course down the north face of Palmyra Peak makes for an ideal experience. The course, which just opened, will operate until the snow melts and even after that — Zorbs don’t need snow. But the road to approval was a long one. “You know we made some enemies and broke some hearts along the way — but here we are,” said Finn Viceroy of Zorb Liberation Nation. While the news media might have labeled these friendly balls of freedom as unsafe due to a Zorb death in Russia this win-

ter, that only upped the ante for those at the cutting edge of the sport. For many, Palmyra is the ultimate test to see how far Zorbing can go. Zorbing Palmyra requires not only skill and perseverance, but also an insane amount of luck that only a few have managed to master. Those at the highest levels of Zorbing call themselves Zurus and though Viceroy said he is nowhere near the level of the Zuru, he hopes to someday gain enlightenment. His story is typical in the world of Zorbing. “Well I first got into Zorbing after a long stint of online videogame playing,” Viceroy said. “I had gone too far in the online world and found out that I was freaking out. After about 36 hours of game time and my fifth liter of Mountain Dew Code Red, my eyes were burning — I couldn’t even see the all the empty Funyun bags covering my floor. I think I hit rock bottom that day.” That was the last day of what he calls his old life, because the next day things changed forever.

After leaving his mom’s Ohio basement behind, Viceroy purchased a used Zorb off of Ebay for $102. 23, ventured west — for the Rockies. On his way to Telluride, Viceroy assembled a patchwork crew of other Zorb extremists, and as they made their way across the country they were racking up vertical feet, milage and skill. The crew really symbolizes the quintessentials of teamwork; they’ve got Billy the brains, Harry the muscle and some guy they just refer to as the wildcard. The wildcard was missing as of press time. The crew traversed this great land spreading the word of the Zorb, hitting mild hills along the way before getting to Colorado. Once in Telluride the group was not exactly welcome as the established ski and snowboard community had a death grip on the slopes and nothing but distain for Zorbs. “We faced a lot of adversity back then,” Viceroy explained. “Things weren’t easy, I’d always hear things like ‘gaper,’ or ‘reSee ZorB, Page 35

hile Sam Bush may retain the King of Telluride Bluegrass title, a new festival aims to decide once and for all who is the all-around most Telluride of them all. This competition exemplifies the spirit of what Telluride is all about. Contestants will have to win at least three of the following categories to even make it into the final round: Most Outdoorsy, Starving Artist, Most Hardcore Thrill Seeker, Most Bleeding Heart Liberal, Most Environmental and PBR Power Hour. For the Most Hardcore Thrill Seeker category, the judges will consider a wide array of qualifiers: mountain biking, paragliding, elk wrestling, skiing and any form of hucking a cliff. All that matters is that you capture the feats on a GoPro and have at least three instances where the competitor yells, “This is sick!” The festival was launched last year in the half-day between the Telluride Jazz Festival and USA Pro Cycling Challenge. The inaugural winner of the Most Environmental category went to what some would consider extreme lengths to claim the title. “I wanted to make my carbon footprint as small as possible,” said Suzy Treesnuggler. “So I didn’t turn on my heat all winter. No lights, either. I read by candlelight. And I recycled my Kleenex. Oh, and I gave up showering. It wastes water and we are in a drought, you know.” The winner of the PBR Power Hour knew he had it in the bag right from the start. The nearly undrinkable, water-like beer is a favorite of longtime Telluridians and nearly all local bars have the cheap brew on tap. “It wasn’t that bad at all,” said Marvin McDrinksalot, standing next to an impressive pyramid of empty cans. “I seem to remember more carnage from power hours in college, but this was a piece of cake. I’m not even buzzed.”

April Fools 2013  

An amusement park in Upper Bear Creek? Peeping Tom roundup nets 74 suspects Library to clear out books to make way for bouncy castle And mor...