March 2022/5782
Temple Beth Shalom
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From the Rabbi’s Desk
Scroll Vol 35 No. 6
Have you heard of a "Council of Dads?" The book review from Amazon.com describes it this way: As a young dad, Bruce Feiler, New York Times bestselling author and television host, received shattering news. A rare form of cancer was threatening not only his life but his family's future as well. A singular question emerged: Who would be there for his wife and daughters if he were gone? Feiler reached out to six extraordinary men who helped shape him and asked them to be present in the lives of his daughters. The Council of Dads is the unforgettable portrait of these men, who offer wisdom, humor, and guidance on how to live, how to love, how to question, how to dream. I went beyond the book description and found this piece by Bruce Feiler on the Moth storytelling website: https://themoth.org/stories/thecouncil-of-dads I have to admit, the first time I heard this description of the "Council of Dads" from Bruce Feiler, I found myself in tears. I have witnessed enough loss in my life and Rabbinic work, to connect with the experience of life threatening illness. In the same breath, I knew I was crying as I thought of the incredible power of a circle of caring community. I have both heard about and been part of groups of people who join together for support as someone walks through the valley of the shadow of death. What grabbed me in the story of Council of Dad's, is how intentional Bruce and his wife are as they call this council. They created this community and connection before they needed it. Baruch HaShem, Thank G!d, Bruce survived his bout of cancer, but the efforts of the council, its wisdom, its energy and presence, was still able to have an impact on the Feiler family, the participants in the Council and all who hear of it going forward . This value of mutual support and care is a powerful one in Judaism. We work hard to create minyanim, communities of ten adults, to generate a critical mass for rituals like saying Kaddish in memory or of reading our sacred story of Torah. We work to create chevruta, partnerships of study, so that we don't just read, but bring the Divine into our learning as we wrestle with texts and various topics together. We are instructed to visit the sick, knowing that our presence and acts of caring (like bringing chicken soup) lift the spirits and heal the body. Our tradition teaches and models that the connection with something Greater, something Infinite and Eternal, is needed when we face life's challenges, and manifests through social interactions. Judaism is full of mitzvot that guide us into creating our own “Council of Dads.” When I think of the “Council of Dads” and its application in Jewish life and community, I realize that one powerful part of a council is creating it before you need it. Can we consider scenarios when we would need our council? Who would we call on and how would we call them?
Where can we serve? What advice or support could each of us give?
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Please notify the Temple office or the Rabbi if a family member or fellow congregant is ill or has had an accident. The Rabbi can reach out, only if he is informed that he is needed.
These are questions for us as individuals and as a community. What can TBS do to create, inspire, and empower the connections like this Council? Can each of us, reflecting on our lives, make that effort to build our Councils or serve on ones that cross our path? Being a Caring community is a central value of our congregation. Creating and maintaining this sense of partnership and collective action is a primary action in my Rabbinic work. I hope you will take some time to listen to Bruce’s story, read the book or tune in for the TV Show. I challenge all of us to reflect on this council, considering when and where we are living this value. This is an opportunity to be more intentional or invest a bit more time and energy, whether for our own council or, for someone else who needs to be drawn into the circle of a caring community. B’Shalom, Rabbi Michael Birnholz 1