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Issue 127 | May 18, 2018 | 4 Sivan, 5778





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Contents Issue 127 May 18, 2018





















48 44

MAY 18, 2018






















30-45 DAYS!

DIABETES Reversed!



Total Cholest � � � � � � � � � 302 H

Total Cholest � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 179

LDL Cholest � � � � � � � � � � � 220 H

LDL Cholest � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 96

HDL Cholest � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 23 L

HDL Cholest � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 67

VLDL Cholest� � � � � � � � � � � � 58 H

VLDL Cholest� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 14

Triglycerides � � � � � � � � � � 371 H

Triglycerides � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 94

Lipoprotein(a) � � � � � � � � 176 H

Lipoprotein (a) � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 23



HB A1C � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 7.9 H

HB A1C � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 5.5

C-Reactive Protein � � � 8.9 H

C-Reactive Protein � � � � � � � � 0.6

Glucose� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 203 H

Glucose� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 82

Homocysteine � � � � 17.1 H

Homocysteine � � � � � � � � � � � � � 5.2

Insulin � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 41.9 H

Insulin � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � 16.0

Coronary Calcium � 322 H

Coronary Calcium � � � � � � � � � � � � � 9

Fructosamine� � � � � � � 362 H

Fructosamine� � � � � � � � � � � 235

Blood Pressure � 180/110 H

Blood Pressure � � � � � � 120/80




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24— editor's note

Dear Readers


hen I was eighteen, my parents were preparing to go out of town for a week leaving me in charge. I remember the feeling of freedom, of being the adult in the home. I also recall feeling overwhelmed and wondering whether I could hack it. Sure, I was free to do things my own way, but figuring out how to manage dinner, laundry, the kids’ schedules and everything in between seemed too great a task. Suddenly the gifted freedom wasn’t exactly free. And then I was presented with a list of notes, painstakingly penned by my mother. She had handwritten the recipes for five of her standard dinners, with step-by-step instructions that even an amateur like myself couldn’t easily mess up. There were also notes and directions on every aspect of managing the house. I remember being grateful and recognizing that it must have taken so much time and effort, but it took actually becoming a mother for me to appreciate the love that went into those notes. The first time I left my baby son behind with a babysitter, I wrote a detailed guide for every part of his day. What ought to be done, when and how. The more I thought about my child, the more specific my instructions became. It’s perhaps cheesy to note, but any first-time mother can relate: the details might have seemed excessive, but at that time, it was all the love I could wrap up into a piece of paper. As parents, we wish to make our kids’ lives as comfortable and wonderful as possible. It is that devotion that has us generously imparting our, at times unwelcome, wisdom and instructions. On the other side of the coin we have young adults who are chafing at the bit, eagerly anticipating freedom. But that liberation from instruction can also be downright scary. The world is a huge and lawless place. We need guidance and structure in order to remain safe. I obviously know that human parental devotion will never

compete with the Divine love bestowed upon us by our Father in heaven, but it does put our many mitzvos and the specificity of their execution into perspective. The Torah Ha’kedosha, our personal guide to every aspect of our lives, was given to us as a gift of love. In Yiddishkeit, we don’t merely commemorate the grand events that Klal Yisroel experienced; our yomim tovim are when we relive and recommit to what transpired on that day. That is what we celebrate on Shavuos. We rejoice on the day that our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu was solidified. It was the day that the Eibeshter gave us His ultimate expression of devotion, the Torah. It was also the day that we as a nation, returned that love with Naaseh v’nishma, our promise to be His forever. On the anniversary of our becoming Hashem’s chosen nation, our hearts ought to be soaring. Never mind the cheesecake or even the flowers – our hearts should be filled with song as we allow the feeling to overtake us, that of being picked to be loved and treasured forever and ever by the King of kings. Elyonim sassu v’tachtonim alzu … bakabalos Torah miSinai.



PUBLISHER: TACHLIS MANAGING EDITOR: Tziri Hershkovitz COPY EDITOR: Raizy Shlezinger CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Varda Branfman, Surie Frenkel, Rebbetzin Malka Friedman, B. Gordon, Channie Greenberg, Rivka Gross, Shirley Hess, Draizy Israel, R. Jacobson, Dan L. Kaff, Yehudis Litvak, Amy Nathans, Chany Paskes, Dr. David Rosmarin, P. Samuels, Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier, Rifka Schonfeld, Matty Steinberg, Yael Tusk GRAPHICS: Erma Whine CARTOON ART: Devora Younger ADVERTISING: Chanie Kraus To advertise: 718-704-0944, Ext.1 or contact: T: 718.704.0944 F: 877.331.3738 THE TACHLIS is not responsible for the content or reliability of the articles, advertisements, or other material, nor the kashrus of products and services. Copyright © 2018 by TACHLIS No part of this publication may be reproduced without prior permission in writing from the publisher. MAY 18, 2018

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28— your input

Your Input THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER AMAZING ARTICLE BY CHANY PASKES! Breath of Fresh Air (Issue 125) covered an important topic that needs to be spoken about again and again. As more people are taking the courage to give their children a better life, we need to give those that are still hesitant, the information from the other side of the trenches.  I wish this would be an option for me.  As the youngest of a large family, my elderly parents' care falls on me and I would not be able to leave them alone. I pay a heavy price for it.  I have 7 children and live in a two-bedroom apartment. I’ll leave it for you to image what my day to day life looks and feels like.   Thank you Chany Paskes for this article and all your other well written pieces. Your articles are the first thing I turn to every week. With appreciation, Gitty Brieger YOUR FEATURE ARTICLE, “BREATH OF FRESH AIR,” REALLY HIT HOME WITH ME. My husband and I debate this very issue back and forth about once a week, so I really appreciated seeing the various pros and cons presented by the women interviewed. Of course, no one’s life is just like someone else’s, but there are many general issues which could be common to different families, even in different parts of the globe. We are at a stage where we would like to have a home that we can call our own, and would like to do it while we can, but we have so many considerations. We live in the area where I’ve lived all my live. My parents, in-laws live here, and all my siblings have moved and bought – except us. Some of my husband’s siblings have move away though and the kesher with them just isn’t the same. I would never want that to happen to us. Most of my kids that are still home are at transitionary phases. My daughter is entering high school and my son is going away to dorm. If ever there was a time to take the plunge, it seems to be now. Your article didn’t provide me with any answers, but it did give some food for thought. There is a certain comfort in knowing that I am not the only one going through the dilemma of deciding and that it may be worthwhile to investigate. I also found it wonderful how you brought opinions of women living in Eretz Yisroel and how we were able to see that Yidden all over have so much common ground. Now, erev Shavuos is a good time to be mispallel that soon we will all be home in Eretz Yisroel and no longer have the worries of galus. Faigy Linder

MAY 18, 2018

I’VE BEEN DISAPPOINTED TO SEE SOME OLD FEATURES GO, but there is one new feature that I want to compliment you on. Yocheved Davidowitz’s approach to nutrition is a breath of fresh air. Her experience from her background in the counseling field in our community is very evident in her advice. Her advice is not only very relevant to our community, but it is also really unique. For many years, my sister and I have been trying diets, groups, etc, and we’ve come to the conclusion that Yocheved Davidowitz’s approach is so sensible! Ultimately our health choices must be made by ourselves. No matter how much someone else tells you, if you can’t internalize the message, it won’t work. B”H, something about approach of the new nutrition column speaks right to our crowd. I wish TACHLIS much hatzlacha, in every way, and especially in helping us fulfill the important mitzvah of guarding our health. C. Kleinman This is your forum. Share your responses and opinions with TACHLIS readers by writing to, or fax 877-331-3738, or mail to The Tachlis, 80 Red Schoolhouse Rd, Chestnut Ridge, NY 10977


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30— emunah

Tov Li Toras Picha Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

“And you shall count for yourselves from the day after the rest day, from the day when you bring the Omer of the waving — seven weeks, they shall be complete.” Vayikra 23:15 Sefer HaChinuch: The Torah commands us to count the Omer so we can relive the experience of yetzias Mitzrayim. Just as the Jews back then anxiously anticipated the great day when they were to receive the Torah, so too we count the days in anticipation of Shavuos, the Yom Tov that commemorates the giving of the Torah. To the Jews then, accepting the Torah at Har Sinai was even greater than their redemption from slavery. So we count each day to internalize that sense of great enthusiasm, as if to say, “We are waiting. When will that day come?” With these words the Sefer HaChinuch defines the mitzvah of Sefiras HaOmer. The difficulty with this is the statement that “to the Jews then, receiving of the Torah was even greater than being freed from slavery.” It seems hard to imagine that anything would be greater to a slave than being freed. This concept is even more perplexing when we envision what it was like to be a slave in Mitzrayim. A life of suffering and bloodshed The life of a Jew in Mitzrayim was one of misery and suffering. They had no rights. They had no life. They couldn’t own property, choose their own destiny, or protect their own children. They didn’t even have the right to their own time. A Mitzri could at any moment demand a Jew’s utter and complete compliance to do his bidding. If a Jew walked in the streets, it was every Mitzri’s right to whisk him away, without question and without recourse, and force him into slave labor for whatever he saw fit. Waking in the early morning to the crack of the Mitzri’s whip, the Jews were pushed to the limit of human endurance until late at night when they fell asleep in the fields. Without rest, without breaks, the Jews lugged heavy loads and lifted huge rocks. Sweat, tears, and bloodshed were their lot. In the heat of the sweltering sun and in

MAY 18, 2018

the cold of the desert night, at the risk of life and limb, the Jew was oppressed with a demon-like fury. A beast of burden is treated wisely to ensure its well-being, but not the Jew. He was pushed beyond all limits. Finally, when Paroh was asked to let the Jewish people go, he increased their load, taking it from the impossible to the unimaginable. How could anything in the world be more desirable to the Jews than freedom? How could it be that anything, even something as great as receiving the Torah, could mean more to them than being redeemed from slavery? What the Jews experienced by living through the makkos The answer to this question lies in understanding the great level of clarity that the Jews reached by living through the makkos and Kriyas Yam Suf. For ten months, each Jew saw with ever-increasing clarity that Hashem created, maintains, and orchestrates this world. With absolute certainty, they experienced Hashem’s presence in their lives. This understanding brought them to recognize certain core cognitions. Every human has inborn understandings. Often, they are masked and subdued. Whether by environment or by desire, the human spends much of his life running from the truths that he deeply knows. When the Jews in Mitzrayim experienced Hashem’s power and goodness, they understood the purpose of Creation. They knew that we are creations, put on this planet for a reason. We were given a great opportunity to grow, to accomplish, to mold ourselves into who we will be for

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eternity. We have a few short, precious years here and then forever we will enjoy that which we have accomplished. Because they so clearly experienced Hashem, their view of existence was changed. They “got it.” Because of this, the currency with which they measured all good changed. They recognized that the greatest good ever bestowed upon man is the ability to change, to mold himself into something different so that he will merit to cling to Hashem. They recognized that everything that we humans value as important pales in comparison to the opportunity to grow close to Hashem. Because they understood this point so vividly, to them the greatest good possible was receiving the Torah — G-d’s word, the ultimate spiritual experience. And so, while they anxiously anticipated the redemption from slavery as a great good that would free them from physical oppression, they valued the reason they were being freed even more. They were to receive the Torah. Why we value what we value This concept has great relevance in our lives, as we have the ability to tap into this instinctive knowledge of the importance of learning. When a person gets caught up in the temporal nature of this world, the currency with which he rates things changes. His value system now becomes honor, power, career, or creature comforts. That is what he views as good, and that is what he desires. The more a person involves himself in these things, the more important they become, and the less precious the Torah becomes. Our natural appreciation of Torah becomes clouded over by other desires and an ever-changing value system. However, the more a person focuses on his purpose in the world, the more he values the Torah. He recognizes it as the formula for human perfection. He now sees the Torah as the ultimate gift given to man because it is both the guide and the fuel to propel his growth. With this changed perspective, the very value system with which he measures things changes, and now his appreciation, love, and desire to learn increase until finally he becomes aligned with that which Hashem created him for — perfection and closeness to the Eibishter. Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the – The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues. All of the Shmuzin are available free of charge at or on the Shmuz App for iPhone or Android.


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36— torah anytime

Your Nation, My Nation Based on a lecture by Mrs. Tzippy Reifer

It was Wednesday afternoon just a few days before Pesach when my phone rang. It was just a short week since I had married off a dear Russian girl who I had become close to. With no time to recuperate, I was thrown right into tirelessly preparing for Pesach. I had already decided that I would no longer get involved in more than I could handle. Pesach preparation promised to be time-consuming and all-encompassing. I didn’t need more. I reached for the ringing phone and glanced at the caller ID. I didn’t recognize the name, and I wondered whether I should bother picking up. Too many phone calls have snowballed into something much bigger than I initially expected. The phone rang again and I finally, albeit hesitantly, answered “Ma…” a voice I immediately recognized as my daughter’s called over the wire. “What happened?” I asked. “Where are you?” “I’m calling from a pay phone on the street. I just came down this block to kasher my pots and pans for Pesach, and I ran into a woman I never met before. She is dressed like a regular frum lady, although . . . she doesn’t look Jewish. She asked if she could bring her non-kosher pots and make them kosher at this same site where everyone is kashering their household wares for Pesach. I’m not sure what to tell her. Do you know?” I asked my daughter to put the woman on the line. After introducing myself, I asked her how I could be of help. “Well,” the woman began, “I only became Jewish last week and I am still in the process of obtaining the right utensils for my new kosher kitchen. I know that some items that were previously used for non-kosher food can be koshered. I’m just not sure which ones…” she trailed off. I was moved by her sincerity and wondered aloud if it wouldn’t be best if she could simply buy new dishes altogether and circumvent the need of kashering her entire kitchen. “Is money an issue?” I asked tentatively.

“Well,” she hesitated, “I left my job recently and so, yes, money is an issue.” And, against all my previous decisions, I knew just what I wanted to do. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you come to my house tomorrow? Let me look at what you need and see how I can help.” The next day she was at my house ready to get down to business. We talked about her past and current experiences, and I felt that it would be best for her to start her new phase of Jewish life with new sets of dishes. “Let’s go shopping,” I told her impulsively. As soon as I said it, my mind began to race. Which store would I take her to? The most expensive houseware store in Boro Park was just down the street from my house, while the less expensive stores were a distance away. At the moment, I was exhausted from cleaning and preparing my house for Pesach, and I wondered if I had the strength to make it to any of the cheaper stores miles away. “Hashem,” I uttered. “You are the One who comes with me to the Bergament Outlet store, Albert & Sons, and National Wholesale Liquidators; I guess You can come with me to the expensive store on the avenue and make everything work out. You know exactly how much money I don’t have, how much time I don’t have and how much strength I don’t have. I need Your help now. Please.” And with that, I took my credit card, and headed off to the more expensive store. As we arrived, the woman and I grabbed a cart and began making rounds up and down the aisles, looking for everything she needed. The cart began filling up little by little, and when the young woman I was helping had scurried off to a different aisle, I was suddenly approached by another shopper. “I don’t know why I’m doing this,” the older woman told me, “but the two of you look like an odd couple – and something about you makes me wonder if perhaps I can help you out in some way?” “I’ll tell you the truth,” I said, “the woman

Written by Elan Perchik Editorial Director of Watch/listen/download the video/audio version of this Torah class and thousands of others by top Torah scholars at Also, visit our webpage to subscribe to the acclaimed weekly TorahAnyTimes Parasha Newsletter featuring the best stories, insights and lessons from renowned speakers. All content is free and updated daily. MAY 18, 2018

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You can come with me to the expensive store on the avenue and make everything work out.

with me just became Jewish a week ago and I am trying to help her get settled and situated. Money, though, is an issue.” “What a coincidence!” the other shopper exclaimed. “My mother passed away just two weeks ago and left an entire brand-new set of pots and pans. You’re so welcome to them. It would be my pleasure.” The young woman came back just in time to hear that, and quickly, we put back nearly everything we had grabbed off the shelves. We ended up walking out of the store with just a few items. Neither of us was expecting anything like that; clearly, Hashem had accompanied us while shopping. But that’s not the entire story. When I later arrived home, I relayed what had happened to

my family. “Ma,” my daughter-in-law immediately said, “don’t you remember what happened a week ago right before the Russian girl’s wedding? I told you the story, didn’t I?” “Remind me,” I asked her. “Just last week, my sister and her husband were driving down 49th Street when, all of a sudden, they noticed a woman crying at the bus stop. Worrying that something serious had happened, they got out of the car and asked if they could help. ‘I missed the bus,’ the woman said between her tears, ‘I missed the Monsey bus.’ “‘That’s okay,’ my sister told her. ‘Come with us, and we’ll try to catch the bus for you.’ They drove for several miles, yet the bus was nowhere in sight. “The woman remained unnerved and worried. “‘What’s so important in Monsey, if you don’t mind my asking?’ my sister asked. “‘I have an appointment today,’ the woman began explaining. ‘I am supposed to convert today with the Beis Din – and now I missed the bus. They are not going to know what happened to me!’ “After calming her down and reassuring her that they would sort everything out, my sister called the Beis Din and informed them that the woman was running late but would be over as soon as she could. Thankfully, the Beis Din agreed to wait. My sister and brother-in-law helped her find another bus which would take her to Monsey, and with that, off she went. “After this incident,” my daughter-in-law told me, “my sister called me and told me to give you the name of this woman who planned on converting. She figured that considering the kiruv work you do, you would be able to help her get acclimated to the Jewish way of life and be the perfect mentor and source of support. But I told her that you were marrying off a Russian girl in just a few days and Pesach was right around the corner. You couldn’t handle more and I didn’t want to put you under more pressure. So I kept her phone number with me and didn’t give it to you.”

As my daughter-in-law relayed this other half of the story, everything fell into place. It was almost as if the Red Sea was splitting before my eyes. That same woman who my daughter-in-law felt would be too much for me to handle, amazingly, found me herself. She was the woman I had taken shopping. But, my daughterin-law was right; how would I be able to take on yet another responsibility during the most hectic time of year? Where would I find the strength to do it all? I then remembered my own words: “Hashem, You are the One who comes with me to the Bergament Outlet store, Albert & Sons and National Wholesale Liquidators; I guess You can come with me to the expensive store on the avenue and make everything work out. I don’t have much strength. I need Your help now. Please.” When Hashem is at your side, everything is possible. Literally. It is not coincidental that the word for will (‫ )רצון‬shares the same letters as the word for pipe or conduit (‫)צנור‬. If you have a strong enough will to help another person, Hashem will see to it that you become a conduit and a channel for that help to be provided. All we must do is make Hashem a part of our life. When we are constantly living with Hashem, when we invite Him to accompany us to carpool to pick up the kids and on our shopping spree to buy new dishes, miracles can happen. Without question, those little miracles warm the heart and the hearts of so many others. When you exert that last ounce of effort you just barely have, don’t be surprised to be helped by Hashem and for a beautiful, picturesque story to come together. Mrs. Tzippy Reifer, a polished speaker and dynamic force for Jewish outreach, has enthralled numerous audiences with her personal stories and devoted work on behalf of the Jewish community at large. She has been a featured guest speaker at various conventions and seminars, and never fails to uplift and inspire her listeners. TA C H L I S M A G A Z I N E

40— torah anytime

More Precious than Gold and Silver Appreciating the Sparkling Beauty of Torah Based upon a lecture by Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro

Whenever I relate this story in the presence of prominent Torah leaders, they always tell me that I leave out the most important point. So I will tell you in advance. This story took place not 100 years ago, not 50 years ago, or even 25 years ago. But just 7 years ago. There was a yeshiva day school that was struggling terribly financially. Too many parents were behind in tuition. Maintaining the school was not easy, however, the administration did their utmost to ensure that the children’s education did not suffer. One particular parent was going through times that were quite trying. As a young widow with a child in third grade, she understandably struggled to pay tuition. Due to their difficult financial situation the school’s administration decided, on a basis of various factors, that when a parent was behind in paying tuition their child would be sent home for a number of days or weeks. During this time, matters would be sorted out and a payment plan would be agreed upon between the parents and the school. Although the school truly tried to look after the best interests of each child, the administration felt that demanding tuition was absolutely necessary. Otherwise, they reasoned, the school was at serious risk of closing down. So, here was this young widow who found herself faced with these difficult circumstances. She was considerably behind in tuition, and one day her son was sent home with a note stuffed in his lunch bag. It was addressed to his mother: “Your son has been sent home due to late tuition payment. We are more than willing to arrange a payment plan with you, though we ask that he remain out of school for the next few weeks. We can’t afford to make an exception and risk the failure of the entire tuition policy.” The young widow read the note and told her son to wait one moment. She walked into her bedroom, rummaged around for a few minutes, and returned to her son, holding his lunch bag. “Here you go,” she said handing him the bag. “You can go right back to class now.”

Obeying his mother, the young boy headed back to school. He entered the classroom, walked straight to his desk, set his lunch bag on top and took a seat. Standing at the front of the classroom and watching the boy make his way from the door to his seat was his appalled rebbe. Exasperated, the rebbe found himself getting really angry. First, he needed to stop the class for the principal who informed him that the boy had to go home. Now, the boy interrupted again by returning to class. It would only be moments until the principal reentered and asked the boy, once again, to go home. Fearing that he could not continue teaching with these constant interruptions, the rebbe took a deep breath, and calling upon his reserve of patience, began walking towards the boy’s desk. As he got there, he accidently knocked the lunch bag off the desk and onto the floor. When the bag hit the floor, its contents spilled out and lay on display for all to see. And there the rebbe saw – a diamond bracelet, a plain gold wedding band and a note. The rebbe picked up the note and read the one simple line written by the mother: “Tov li Toras picha mei’alfei zahav va’kesef – Better to me is the Torah of your mouth than thousands in gold and silver.” (Tehil-

Written by Elan Perchik Editorial Director of Watch/listen/download the video/audio version of this Torah class and thousands of others by top Torah scholars at Also, visit our webpage to subscribe to the acclaimed weekly TorahAnyTimes Parasha Newsletter featuring the best stories, insights and lessons from renowned speakers. All content is free and updated daily. MAY 18, 2018

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lim 119:72) To this mother, her child’s Torah education was more valuable than all the money in the world. If she was behind in tuition, that didn’t mean her son would miss out on one day of learning Hashem’s beautiful Torah. And if relinquishing her jewelry for her son’s learning was what was needed, she was ready to do so. We can only imagine how sparkling bright those words of Torah that her son studied from then on were. More beautiful than the most dazzling jewel. Indeed, “Better to me is the Torah of your mouth than thousands in gold and silver.” Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro’s world-wide reputation as a speaker has taken him throughout the United States, Canada, South Africa and to Eretz Yisrael. His name and reputation, as well as his relationship with g'dolai Yisroel, testify to his Torah dedication & inspirational abilities. As one of the most prolific speakers in the world, Rabbi Shapiro is renowned for his daily shiurim for the Chofetz Chaim Heritage foundation and some of his Torah classes can be found on Torahanytime. Rabbi Shapiro is also heavily involved in speaking on behalf of Shuvu, BMG and a myriad of other worthy organizations.

44— nutrition

Low Fat Dairy and Weight Loss Yael Tusk

With Shavuos around the corner, I would like to share some good news about dairy. For years, I have been telling people that if they are going to eat dairy, whole fat products are better for you. Believe it or not, whole fat dairy is more healthful than low fat or skimmed milk products. Recent evidence shows that whole fat dairy products are not only better for you; they can actually help you lose weight. For once, you will be able to make your diet more healthful and tasty simultaneously! Numerous studies have found that not only is low fat dairy not good for you, but eating it can actually cause weight gain. Swedish researchers found that middle aged men who consumed high fat milk, butter, and cream were significantly less likely to become obese over a 12 year period of time, compared with men who never or rarely ate high fat dairy. Another group of researchers who analyzed 16 studies found that: “Evidence does not support the hypothesis that high fat dairy foods contribute to obesity and heart disease risk. In most of the studies, high fat dairy was associated with a lower risk of obesity.” Another study in children found that a diet containing low fat milk was associated with more weight gain over time. The results of these studies were a real surprise to the researchers. Also, high quality grass-fed milk contains fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E & K); if the fat is removed from the milk, the vitamins will go with them. There is reason to believe that even lesser quality milks may contain some fat-soluble vitamins, but they will only

MAY 18, 2018

be present and absorbable if the milk actually contains fat. These vitamins are important for maintaining the health of teeth and bones. Without fat soluble vitamins (and the fat), the calcium in milk will not be incorporated into the bones, but may actually end up in the wrong places, such as the kidneys (stones) or heart valves. This, of course, usually occurs only in middle-aged or older adults. Thus, whole milk products are not just better for kids, but for people of all ages. How does drinking skim milk make kids (and adults) fatter? One explanation is that a diet lacking in saturated fats will cause sugar and carbohydrate cravings, and a lack of satiety, which will result in overeating in general. Grains and especially sugar are what make most people fat – they are not satiating and will have you searching for more to eat within a short period of time. Anyone who tries to boost their energy by drinking a cup of sweet juice will usually find that they crash rather quickly and are in dire need for more calories. Include more butter and whole milk products in your diet and your sugar cravings will diminish. Non-dairy fats such as coconut oil or nuts are also good for providing long-term satiety. Cream has been used as a health-food for centuries. Olympic athletes in ancient Greece would drink a bowl full of cream to give them strength and endurance before a competition. Cream was used in this manner because it sta-

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bilizes blood sugar for an extended period of time. A diet that is high in saturated fat will prevent ups and downs in insulin. (Constant changes in sugar level in the blood stream can lead to insulin resistance and eventually may result in diabetes.) If you include foods with saturated fat, such as butter, in your diet, this will stabilize your blood sugar and insulin levels and promote long lasting satiety and may actually help with weight loss. A low fat diet, especially one containing a lot of sugar, can cause blood sugar imbalances and contribute to diabetes and hypoglycemia. One of the worst dairy products ever created, in my opinion, was fat-free or low-fat yogurt containing tons of sugar. Tremendous quantities of sugar are required to make fat-free yogurt palatable. Whole-fat yogurt tastes good even unsweetened, though adding some berries or whole fruit jelly may be necessary for some. In our house, we buy only full fat yogurts (plain). We’re also not afraid of butter, cheese or cream (for those who can tolerate and digest dairy). Butter and cheese will not clog your arteries. If saturated fat is not the cause of heart disease and obesity, what is causing the epidemic that we are experiencing today? In the 1920s a new food was introduced which was free of cholesterol and saturated fat. Touted as a health food, modern society was duped into wholeheartedly embracing hydrogenated fats such as margarine and shortening. Trans-fats have recently been unmasked for their noxious properties, even being illegalized in food manufacturing in some U.S. states. These “factory fats” may have been the single greatest contributor to obesity and heart disease. They have been implicated in many other diseases as well. Diet is not the only thing that can trigger heart disease, however, as far as foods go, hydrogenated/ trans-fats are not “heart-healthy,” while saturated fat need not be feared! While whole milk is best for you, it goes without saying that organic goat’s milk, or organic grass-fed cow’s milk are far more beneficial (albeit expensive) than what you will find on most supermarket shelves. At the very least, choose whole-fat dairy products for your family – they’ll thank you for it. And have a happy and healthy Shavuos! Final notes: Foods containing heavy cream are very rich and not easy to digest. Do not eat them in excess. Sour foods (like lemon, grapefruit or green apple) can help with the digestion of high-fat foods. Also note that overeating can cause weight gain, even if you eat the right foods. Follow the Rambam’s advice and eat until you’re ¾ full. Even on yom tov, there is no mitzvah of achila gasa.

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48— spotlight

Sweet Success for All Tziri Hershkovitz

The highlight of the Jewish year is upon us, as we prepare to celebrate kabbolas HaTorah. There is nothing more precious to us than limud Torah, and nothing more important than how little children are introduced to the sweetness of Torah. This week, Mrs. Leah Levine, founder and principal of Ateres Chaya, a Chabad chassidish Girls' School in Crown Heights, speaks with TACHLIS and shares with us her Torah-true approach to drawing the children near and helping each one recognize her true potential. We can’t help but wish that every Jewish community be blessed with a school with such an inspiring derech.

Why did you open the Ateres Chaya school? The Chabad community in and near Crown Heights has, Boruch Hashem, grown and the existing girls’ schools are full. This created a need to open an additional girls' school to cater to those families who wish to educate their children by pure chassidish methods, and in an environment that would reach each child.

Ateres Chaya has been making waves recently. How do you see it differing from other schools? In a rather unusual approach, our focus is not on the class as a whole. Instead we look at each child individually and determine what their path in learning should be. An ironclad curriculum and goals for the year aren’t designed to address the individual student. It is for those who can easily keep up, but whoever doesn’t, ends up feeling like a failure. When a new child joins our school, my first step is to observe her with an ayin tova and see where her talents are, what she already enjoys. Every child is different. But one thing they all have in common is the ability to succeed and be amazing - in some areas. That’s what we look for; that is our goal: to find the key to the lock. We take the passuk, chanoch la’naar al pi darko, very seriously. This passuk is not just advice, it is the actual and best approach for reaching each child. Instead of getting the children to adjust to our approach to learning, we literally create a system that is best suited to the child’s natural talents. When a child is born, we look at them and we get so excited about their individual talents and marvel at how Hashem created each perMAY 18, 2018

son so differently. That is something we need to remember now, when the child is school-aged. We need to remember that Hashem gave each person a different shlichus – a different purpose, and also different tools that they work best with. When you want a child to walk, you start from a point where they can do it. You stand at a distance they can easily reach, and make sure to applaud their success. We all do it this way. What’s interesting is that we instinctively know

49 that this is the right approach for teaching our younger children, but the concept of applauding individual accomplishments and recognizing each success is often forgotten once they get to school.

Why do you think that happens? I guess it’s human nature to look for “problems” and how to fix them. I dealt with different schools where the teachers and principals knew the “issues” of each child and what needed to be fixed. But I’ve seen time and again that this approach doesn’t work. When a child feels like he’s failed in school, he gives up. Even worse, if he feels like a failure in school, he will go elsewhere to succeed. School must be the place where a child feels confident and believes that he can do it. If you see the positive version of the child, he will see it too. Then, step by step, he’ll go from a small success to a bigger success.

"If you want someone to believe they can succeed, show them where they’ve already succeeded"

Every child has so much good in them! If we start with that and build on that, every child will feel like a success! Ateres Chaya’s purpose is to build happy and successful children, and baruch Hashem, we are seeing results – rather quickly.

What about your own experience in chinuch? I’ve been a full-time class morah for 15 years, teaching preschool, elementary and seminary at various times. I helped my sister found and run a super successful school in Bat Ayin (located between the cities of Yerushlayim and Chevron), Israel. Our unique approach got the school growing as fast as it did, and it is that approach that I am transplanting to our school in Crown Heights.

Can you tell us more about your kriah approach? While I love every part of connecting with my students, I’m most proud of our highly successful kriah program. It was actually formulated by my grandfather, Reb Chaim Yaakov Klein, z”l, who employed it in Eretz Yisrael, Williamsburg and Boro Park for many years. Not only is our program highly successful, but rabbonim endorsed it because it teaches kriah in the way of our mesorah and the Chabad method.

Focusing on success is so smart! I had personal experience with it and was forever changed. Up until I was in fifth grade, I didn’t really care enough about school. Then, I had an amazing teacher, Yona Havlin, a”h. She was so positive all the time! She once gave me an award for something small, but that’s when everything changed for me. I remember that feeling of being good at something. It made me realize that she saw me as a success! I wanted to keep feeling that way and prove her right.

morah and veteran kriah expert for over 40 years. Among my siblings, a number of them have founded and are running successful schools.

It really works. At the end of the course, every child can read. The Letter of excellence from Morah Yona Haviln, ingenious program is for everyone Mrs. Levine's 5th grade teacher and no one is left behind.

That experience taught me something amazing: If you want someone to believe they can succeed, show them where they’ve already succeeded.

Your approach is so refreshing! When did you start out in the field of chinuch? On some level, I feel like I’ve always been in chinuch. My entire family, bli ayin horah, has been in chinuch or shlichus. Often both. I’m the 13th of 17 children. My father, Rabbi Osher Lemel Cohen, is a respected rav of the Chabad community in Beitar Illit, Israel. He services many Jewish communities worldwide, and makes himself available 24 hours every day. My mother Rebbetzin Chaya Cohen is a classroom

We had students who were really behind in kriah when they joined our school. With lots of siyatta d’Shmaya, they were soon not only caught up, but were reading at a level that is technically above their age bracket. In general, we’ve had students who struggled in their former schools, having fallen behind in the classroom curriculum. Baruch Hashem, our approach had these students fully mainstreamed after a rather short amount of time. Looking TA C H L I S M A G A Z I N E

50— spotlight In general, parents are proud to see their children succeed and feel so confident about that success! We constantly make sure to send positive messages to the parents. The calls from school should not only come when a child is in trouble. I’ve found that every schooling approach works best when the home and school are in sync. This is doubly true, when the approach is that of happiness and positivity. A positive home and school environment complement each other perfectly.

Final thoughts? The Rebbe writes that if the seed of tree has a scratch, it will impact the way the tree grows. The entire tree will be affected. If the child’s school years are chas v’shalom damaging, the effect it can have on her future can be devastating.

at the classroom now, you’d be hard-pressed to identify which student came in as a “challenged child.” If you were to take them back to their old school now, they would be all caught up and fit right in. Our teachers are, baruch Hashem, doing an amazing job at making every child shine.

What have been the reactions of parents? Baruch Hashem, we keep hearing from parents how much their children enjoy school. Mostly we hear variations of the same kind of comments. “My daughter loves school! She even sees study time and davening as enjoyable.”

MAY 18, 2018

Some parents know that their child is struggling in school, if not academically, perhaps socially, and the parents just accept that this is the way things are. Don’t! It doesn’t have to be that way! Your child can shine and be happy and successful and proud of who she is. The school years must be the best time in a child’s life. Those years are the foundation on which she’ll build, and where she will learn how to deal with all that life will bring her way. We need to make sure to give her the very best now, so that she can grow strong and proud. Ateres Chaya can be reached at 718-2130668 and

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52— spotlight

Aseres Hadibros of Chinuch Mrs. Leah Levine, Ateres Chaya Girls School As we prepare once again for Kabalos HaTorah, it struck me that the first Talmud Torah was actually at Har Sinai and our first rebbe was Moshe Rabbeinu. With such a Divine model for teaching Torah, why would we ever need to turn to secular teaching methods? Talmud Torah, teaching our children the ways of Hashem, is the greatest investment in our future. For the most perfect methods in chinuch, we don’t need to look further than our Ten Commandments, the foundation of the entire Torah: To all parents and mechanchem, I present a synopsis of the lessons we can draw from Aseres Hadibros.





Anochi Hashem: The first lesson we need to teach children is that everything is Hashem, ein od milvado. Teaching emunah is our primary goal. From the word Elokecha, which is in loshon yachid, we see that the way to teach this and every lesson, is to talk to each child as an individual and teach him at his own pace. Lo yihiye l’cha…: We have to be very careful not to allow outside influences to permeate our mesorah, even if it’s simply as a compromise. We can’t appease others by watering down our chinuch. “Emes” and “compromises” are opposites. Once it is no longer pure truth, it is no longer truth. From here we see that we have to be careful with the teachers we choose for our children; they must have pure hashkafos. Lo sisa: The commandment not to use Hashem’s name carelessly, is a reminder to teach children to be sensitive to kedusha. Davening should be done with awe and recognition before Whom we stand. When children are taught the kedusha of their tefillos, they will always value the opportunity to talk to the Eibeshter. Teachers, from their end, always have to be careful to do their job in a way that makes a kiddush Hashem. Zachor (v’shamor) es yom haShabbos l’kadsho: Shabbos asks us to stop all trivial pursuits and focus on this day, on what truly matters: our connection with Hashem. In order to fully grasp the importance of something, we need to stop everything else we are doing and think about it. The Rebbe says in Hayom Yom that a parent should stop every day for 30 minutes to think of the chinuch of each child. Only once we recognize that their chinuch deserves some of our undivided attention, can we hope to address the issue with the respect it deserves. Kabaid es avicha v’es imecha: In order for a child to have respect for his father and mother, the school has to show the children that they respect the students’ parents. On the same note, parents must show their children that they respect their teachers and principals. If respect is lacking, on either side, it impacts the child – and he may end up respecting neither. A child who grows up looking up to his parents - and to his heritage, has a stronger identity as a Jew.




MAY 18, 2018

Lo sirtzach: Do not destroy a child. Teachers have tremendous power to do good – and to harm. A negative word, a label, an insult or a cynical laugh can kill a child emotionally. In contrast, a positive word or gesture can build a child and help them realize that they are capable of great things. Lo sinaf: We need to teach children tznius in a very positive way. If our daughters truly feel special and realize that they are bnos melochim, they will recognize that tznius protects them. When taught properly, the child will be proud to dress tzniusdik, like a princess who’s proud to wear her crown – even if no one else is wearing one. When not taught correctly, it’s obvious, and the lessons won’t last. It’s important that the rules shouldn’t just be enforced ruthlessly, rather, explained in a way that instills great love and appreciation for this mitzvah. Lo signov: Don’t rob the child from his owner, Hashem. Hashem entrusted us with the care of His Children and we have an obligation to keep their nefesh pure, not chas v’shalom sully it with foreign or personal interests that will stunt their growth. Another lesson here: the opposite of lo signov is to give to others, Avraham Avinu’s midah of chesed. Kids need to be taught the joy of giving – by example. Once the child experiences how good it feels to give, they will surely never be tempted to steal. Lo sa’aneh b’ra’echa: Be positive and truthful when writing a report (whether it’s about a child’s behavior or academics). You might think that exaggerating the negative will bring your point across better – or get you services that you want for him, but while we do have an obligation to help the children, it can’t be at the expense of the truth. A negative report can make a child feel bad about himself and hearing an exaggeration can make a child lose trust. Lo sachmod: If we want our children not to envy others, we must teach them to be proud of themselves and realize that Hashem gave each individual many unique qualities and gifts. This is a message to parents, too, not to compare their children to other kids and to take the time to recognize what a special gift Hashem has given them. !‫שנזכה לקבלת התורה בשמחה ובפנימיות‬






54—short story

For the Sake of a Cheesecake It was either her or it By Eve Wanderer

Shevy slowly opened her eyes. The trissim were still closed, but there was a soft glow of light dancing around the edges. She heard the now familiar strains of young boys davening in the cheder across the street. They were already up to Shema - which meant she’d slept in again. She groaned. When they’d moved to Eretz Yisroel following their sheva brachos, she’d intended to be up every day before her husband got back from shul in time to make breakfast for the two of them. Toast, an egg, or at least prepare coffee. She realized, guiltily, that she had actually only managed it four times. Or was it three? She yawned and looked at her alarm clock. Eight - thirty blinked the luminous digits. Yechiel must have prepared his own breakfast, she surmised. He probably left for MAY 18, 2018

55 kollel, not wanting to disturb her. She mulled this over for a while, until her feet found the cool floor. He was so considerate. She was lucky. Married, living in Yerushalayim, a husband in kollel, a husband who was careful not to disturb her sleep. But perhaps a little too careful? She hadn’t even seen him today! Shevy knew what she needed. A job. Something to help ease herself into some sort of schedule in this beautiful but still unfamiliar land. She stood straighter and selected a cool cotton top and a linen skirt from the closet. She was still adjusting to the hot climate and natural breathable fabrics were her best friends. She clipped her sheitel on and frowned at herself in the mirror. Playing chosson and kallah was nice, but when had she ever in her life not had some reason to rush? Cramming for exams, then later on preparing lessons for hours and hours every evening followed by a full day of teaching. She had imagined that settling down in their new home in a new country would be pure bliss. And it had been, to start with. But Yechiel was back in kollel now until the summer bein hazmanim and she, Shevy, could sleep until whenever and who would even notice? She meandered across the apartment to the kitchen to get a drink of water. She realized the sink could use a clean-up job. She took in the rest of the kitchen, which wasn’t much to look at. The floor tiles were old and a few were cracked. There was dirt on the windows and dust on the trissim. Funny how she hadn’t noticed that when they’d first arrived. Shevy ambled through the salon, absorbing the warmth and light in the room, and looked around her. The place needed a good cleaning. It would be Shavuos next week. Why not start preparing

for their first yom tov as a married couple with a good clean-up? Her project for the day! She’d daven, eat the leftover melon from last night for a quick breakfast, go to the corner makolet, buy some Astonish and get down to work. When Yechiel returned home for lunch, he would realize she was more than just a layabout. The makolet was busy. Shevy scanned the aisles, looking for the cleaning agent section. She noticed a lot of activity near the refrigerators and overheard two ladies discussing the virtues of one soft cheese over another in English. “My cheesecake always comes out perfect with this one,” boasted a short, plump lady in a colorful turban, as she held up a large blue and white container like a trophy. “Really?” questioned her tall friend who had her back to Shevy, “I’ve been using ‘Gevina Soft’ for years and it’s so smooth and creamy that it melts in your mouth!” Shevy inched her way over to the cheeses, trying not to get between the two ladies. Baking cheese, soft cheese, farmer cheese, sour cream and cottage cheese all vied for a prime spot on the cool open shelves of the refrigerator. Shevy considered the situation. She had never actually baked a cheesecake. She had baked other cakes, even birthday cakes for her siblings on occasion. How hard could it be to whip up a cheesecake? As the two chattering ladies moved off down the aisle, Shevy began to scrutinize the print on the unfamiliar packages and tubs of cheese. She had thought her Hebrew was pretty good but the tiny print and the poor lighting in the makolet did not help matters. She could feel her sheitel beginning to stick to her neck in the not-quite-adequate air conditioning. Finally she picked up a generous tub of 5% Gevina Soft with a recipe on the back printed in English! She could do this. She added to her basket some sour cream, vanilla sugar and a bar of baking chocolate as per the recipe. She then found Astonish All Purpose in the next aisle. Shevy smiled to herself as she found her way to the cashier. By the time Yechiel arrived home for lunch, he would find a sparkling apartment and a mouth-watering, freshly baked cheesecake!  Cleaning was hard work, Shevy decided. It


56—short story was nearing mid-day and the sun had risen high in the Jerusalem sky. The old clunky air conditioner installed in the main living area did nothing to alleviate the heat in the windowless bathroom. Shevy scrubbed at the bath tub but there were stains that just wouldn’t budge. She had never actually come across stains on a bath tub before, maybe because she had never attempted to clean one. She scowled and turned to the sink. The taps had rings of lime scale around them, but with a good scrub and a bit of elbow grease, Shevy was sure she could get rid of those. A delicious smell was wafting in from the kitchen. The cheesecake had been a breeze to put together and she just knew she would be recording this recipe and passing it down for generations to come. With a surge of energy, Shevy finished off in the bathroom and turned to her final task – the floor. It had looked easy when Yechiel had done it on erev Shabbos. He had joked how in his yeshiva dorm, if he hadn’t done sponga every week, it wouldn’t have been done - ever, and probably no one would have noticed either! She had felt happy that he cared about cleanliness. She had watched him fill a bucket with warm water and detergent, slosh half of it over the floor and seemingly within minutes, the place was shining. Shevy filled the bucket, carefully added a capful of detergent and began to slosh. Eeew! Her right croc took a direct hit from the first slosh but she soldiered on, her mouth set in a straight determined line. She squelched across to the far corner of the room and sloshed some more water under the couch. Shevy watched with satisfaction as the sudsy water emerged from the other side of the couch. But something else unexpectedly emerged too. A scream pierced the air and it was her own! Suddenly she was standing on the couch because an enormous black something was scuttling away from the water as fast as its legs could carry it, and Shevy didn’t like enormous black somethings, especially foreign ones. When she realized that screaming would probably not reverse the situation, and that the horrible creature (cockroach?) was somewhere in her apartment with very little she could do about it, she closed her eyes tight and tried to breathe slowly. When her pounding heart had slowed down somewhat, Shevy considered her options. She could call her mother. No, not really. The phone wasn’t within reach and there was no way she was

getting onto the floor. Besides, she knew her mother would say what she always did, “It’s probably more scared of you than you are of it.” Not helpful. She could simply stay on the couch with her legs tucked up tightly underneath her until Yechiel came home. Yes, yes! But that would mean her husband returning to an apartment resembling a murky duck pond sans ducks and a bedraggled looking wife whose right foot went “squish” when she tried to walk. Then Shevy considered the final option: To get up, be brave and finish sponga. If Yechiel came home to find her in a heap on the floor with a cockroach doing a victory dance around her and a sponga job half done, at least he’d know she’d tried. Yes, she was only trying. Why was it so hard? She had only wanted to do good. To accomplish something. She was so hot! And what was that burning smell? Her cheesecake! No! With an agility previously unknown to her, Shevy leaped from the couch onto the floor, trying to avoid the slippery bits and with one more leap, landed just inside the kitchen to rescue her cake. She quickly turned off the oven, yanked a cooling rack from the cabinet, slammed it down onto the counter top and then carefully removed the cake, hands shaking, and placed it onto the rack. She heaved an exaggerated sigh of relief. And then, suddenly she saw it out of the corner of her eye. The audacity of it, coming into the kitchen! Pure, Israeli chutzpa! It must have known she’d be coming. Shevy shrieked and ran for the sponga stick. The adrenaline was soaring through her now, her fear having been replaced by an angry determination to protect her territory because nothing was going to happen to her cheesecake. Running like a madman, Shevy grabbed the bucket and shot back to the kitchen with it. Ha. The despicable thing was still in its corner. She poured a good measure of water towards the corner and watched in morbid fascination as the cockroach got swept up in a sudsy current, kicking its legs as it tried to find solid ground. Shevy wouldn’t let it. Her jaw set, she closed in with the sponga stick, pushing the water out of the kitchen. Now, all she needed was the drainage hole.

MAY 18, 2018

57 Come to think of it, she’d never noticed one in the apartment. What on earth had Yechiel done with his sponga water? Her eyes darted to the right and to the left of the living room and then down the short corridor towards the two bedrooms, keeping her victim within sponga stick range all the while. Nope. No drainage hole there. She inched her slippery way towards the bathroom and took a super-quick look inside, but there was no hole there either. The cockroach seemed a little less bewildered now, it was slowly regaining its footing. Shevy had to think fast. Where, oh where was that silly hole?

And then, she saw it out of the corner of her eye.

There was only one thing left to do. Opening her front door gingerly, she peered out. No one was around. Working quickly, Shevy got hold of the bucket, poured out the last bit of water and proceeded to push the dirty water out of her front door, cockroach and all. There was quite a lot of water now, and it wasn’t as easy as she’d thought. But Shevy did it. Through the door, into the hallway and down the stairs. There were gaps between the stairs so most of the sloshy gray liquid, as well as one hapless black creature, found its way to the next level down without much effort. Shevy went back inside for the last bit of water when she heard a voice calling, “Ma koreh poh? – What’s happening here?” Shevy froze. It was Mrs. Segev from the floor below and Mrs. Segev was making her way upstairs towards Shevy. It was too late to dart back inside and shut the door.

“I’m home!” announced Yechiel as he let himself into the apartment. “Mmmm, delicious smell. Shevy, what have you been baking?” Shevy emerged smiling from the bedroom in a fresh set of clothes and a neatly combed sheitel. “Hi,” she replied. “Yep, I’ve been baking. I found a great cheesecake recipe on the back of a cheese container and it worked like a dream. I even cleaned up a little.” Yechiel looked around appreciatively. “It does look clean around here,” he complimented. “And you look. . . relaxed.” Shevy beamed. She had baked and cleaned. And she looked relaxed! “Anyway,” Yechiel continued, “as I was coming into the building, there was this enormous cockroach just inside the main door. It was just there, looking at me.” He shuddered. “I kicked it outside and told it to never dare come back. Can you imagine finding something like that in our apartment?” Shevy’s eyes opened a little wider. “A cockroach?” she exclaimed. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry. It’s probably more scared of you than you are of it.”

“Sh .. shalom,” managed Shevy, giving Mrs. Segev what she hoped was a disarming smile. But Mrs. Segev was shaking her head. “Lo kacha - not like that,” she said simply, and taking the the sponga stick from Shevy, she gathered the remnants of the dirty water from Shevy’s doorway, bent down, fiddled with something on the floor just outside Shevy’s apartment, to reveal a round opening, and with a foggy sort of realization, Shevy saw that her dear neighbor had just revealed to her the Secret of the Location of her Drainage Hole, and she knew then and there that she would never, ever forget Mrs. Segev. 



Why 8 hours of sleep is NOT the AnsweR... ..... It’s Why You Need Refreshing Sleep By Dr. Jacques Doueck, Diplomate Academy Clinical Sleep Disorder Disciplines

A recent study searched for a relationship between chronic snoring and chronic daily headaches. Someone suffering from chronic daily headaches experiences at least fifteen headaches per month. Patients who were suffering from chronic headaches were more than twice as likely to be chronic snorers than those with occasional headaches. When taking age, weight, and alcohol consumption into account, these numbers still did not change. Researchers believe that if snoring is the trigger for chronic headaches, an oral appliance or other snoring therapy could alleviate them. This solution could offer great relief to those looking for reprieve from their headaches. The study included people aged eighteen to sixty-five with chronic daily headache over a period of five years. Those with chronic headaches were more likely to be women than men, and were more likely to have a lower education and have been previously married. These findings are interesting because while more women are likely to have chronic headaches, more men are likely to be chronic snorers. Which came first the chicken or the egg? …The snoring or the headache? More research is required to adequately determine the link between snoring and chronic headaches, because it is currently unclear whether one causes the other. Someone with chronic headaches could have disturbed sleep as a result, and sedation medications often lead to and aggravate sleep disordered breathing. Likewise, sleep deprivation over prolonged periods of time or even too much sleep can trigger chronic migraines. A more globalized approach to treating sleep apnea is necessary to clearly find the root of the problem in each patient. Since every patient is different and may experience varying degrees of sleep apnea, there is not one defining cause of sleep apnea. Thus it is extremely difficult to determine which affects the other, and it is possible that each case for each patient is different. The first step is to make sure you have had a sleep study… that may be the beginning of a headache free life for you or someone you care about.

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By Moshe Zionce

We are counting each day getting closer to the zenith of our history, poised to accept the most precious gift bestowed on mankind. However, how many in Klal Yisroel are standing together with us? Isn’t Shavuos supposed to be a time of acceptance by the entire nation? Shavuos is the occasion of Hashem giving us the Torah. It is interesting to note that the Torah itself does not connect the Yom Tov to the event. In fact, even the date of Shavuos is left vague by the Torah. The Torah states that Shavuos is determined by the counting of 49 days from the first day of Pesach; the subsequent 50th day would be declared Shavuos. Unlike other Yomim Tovim, a specific date is not provided. Why the obvious ambiguity? One answer is that the giving of the Torah at Har Sinai was the giving of both the Written and Oral Torah. Each element is not only dependent on the other, but together both components create the whole. In order to teach this synthesis, the Written Torah is directing us to the oral tradition to teach clear details that are lacking.

Point of No Return

Based on the following holy words of the Ari, ztz”l, I would like to offer a deeper explanation. Egypt was the source of immorality. The Torah refers to it as “ervas ha’aretz - the nakedness of the land.” The Yidden were deeply affected in Egypt. The Ari explains that the word Mitzrayim is a combination of two words maytzar and yam – maytzar meaning restriction and yam is the gematria of 50. Egyptian society attempted to squeeze Klal Yisroel to the 50th and lowest level of impurity. The 50th level is the point of no return. Therefore, Hashem took us out quickly, in the nick of time, before we could suffer an eternal demise. (This is the secret of the need to rush out with the matzos on our back.) The 49 days of sefirah were spent rigorously refining and perfecting our character until, at Mattan Torah, we reached the 49th level of purity. Hence, we experienced the extreme opposite of an eternal descent (the 50th level of impurity) when we achieved the transcendent level on the 50th day at the giving of the Torah. It is explained that at this moment of greatness at Mattan Torah, Klal Yisroel and the world achieved their perfection. The Gemara in Shabbos (146a) teaches that at Mattan Torah the impurity from the original sin was removed from the world. The Zohar (Bereishis:52b) adds, “When Israel stood before Har Sinai, the impurity of the serpent MAY 18, 2018

was removed… they were able to attach themselves to the Tree of Life (death was eradicated at that time) …”

Coming Home Together

In 49 days Klal Yisroel was literally transformed from being on the verge of an eternal demise to achieving immortality. How did the nation accomplish such a remarkable transition in such a short time span? Based on the famous Rashi, the answer is obvious, “Unity.” Rashi comments on the passuk, “Israel encamped opposite the mountain (Shemos 19:2),” that “they were like one man with one heart.” (In many areas, success is only achieved through partnership; one is obligated to marry in order to attain perfection, the power of a minyan cannot be equaled by an individual, and we are cautioned not to separate from the community, etc). At Har Sinai, it was not you and I; it was us. During that time of trial and tribulation through the barren and desolate desert, each individual looked out for the other’s spiritual wellbeing and development. In 49 days, the Jewish people learned to function as one unit and hence fused into a single entity. In order to accept the one Torah and to unite with the One and Only G-d, the nation had to become one. Without that, the Torah could not be given. It is the duty of every Jew to perceive his neighbor’s spiritual growth as his own. Greatness is only possible if each member of the nation takes responsibility for the other.

Not a One-Time Experience

Responsibility is the key word. The Torah does not specify a time for Mattan Torah because each and every one of us must be in a constant state of Torah acceptance throughout the year. There is no specific date for the acceptance of the Torah because the true acceptance is dependent upon us. This constant acceptance must include a persistent drive to embrace and to elevate all Jews with us on our daily journey to Har Sinai. (The concept of Mattan Torah occurring throughout the year is found in halacha; the Torah is always to be read with three people in close proximity to the sefer Torah - one corresponding to the Giver of the Torah, one to Moshe Rabbeinu through whom the Torah was bestowed, and one representing the acceptors [Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 141:4]. Additionally, since the original giving of the Torah required the unity of Klal Yisroel, the Torah reading requires ten men to be present.) Our challenge: We are to take the inspiration and make it real throughout the year. Everyday there are opportunities to reach out to a fellow Jew. It could be a simple phone call wishing a less-affiliated relative a good Yom Tov, or giving a co-worker a homemade challah for Shabbos. “Small” actions like these could change the course of future generations for eternity. We can all make a difference. Enable another precious Yid the opportunity to stand next to you at the giving of the Torah. Only together, through care and love can we attain perfection - this perfection is indeed dependent on others. It is known that in kiruv the one reaching out is often the one affected most profoundly.

When, Oh When

There is another yom tov that the Torah itself does not specify a time for. It is the time of “acharis ha’yomim,” the time of Moshiach. Just as Mattan Torah is dependent on us and should pervade our consciousness, we are to constantly yearn for the time when the world will achieve perfection and kavod shamayim will reign supreme. However, yearning is not enough; we can only achieve this level of fulfillment and righteousness, both personally and nationally, through accepting responsibility and taking action - “Lilmod u’lilamaid.” The time has come to not only learn, but to teach as well. Together, may we merit the coming of Moshiach when all of Hashem’s children will return, speedily in our days.





What You Can Do

There is an effective, yet simple Kiruv idea of giving a card with Kiruv websites on it. B”H half a million Kiruv cards have been printed over the last 12 years. Many people carry and distribute them and have even formulated their own way of doing it! Visit We would be delighted to mail you a packet of cards with Kiruv websites on them, for you to give to those who could benefit from them. Simply text/call (978) 613-9653 or email and tell us where to send the cards (information sheet included). Around Brooklyn, we also can tell people about BJX (Brooklyn Jewish Xperience), which offers amazing live programs. ( or 646-397-1544)

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62— reality bytes

Shavuos Never Ended by Rabbi Y. Reuven Rubin l'ilui nishmas Rebbe Avraham Mordechai Alter, ztz"l, niftar Shavuos 5708 (1948) in Yerushalayim

Like Nuggets of Gold The old Jew’s name was Reb Shlomo. He was elderly but his eyes were alive, on fire, filled with youth. And he came with special credentials: He had been born in Ger, the greatest chassidic center in Poland. As youngsters, we would often stand around after prayers just to hear his stories, and we never left without some new nugget of gold. This was just a few years after the Holocaust, and we were thirsty to learn of the yesterday that had once been. Of course, that Ger was no more. Hitler had come and ripped apart all that was holy. We were living in a world built on the ashes of what was, and these scraps from Reb Shlomo were manna from heaven. His greatest tale was about Shavuos in der alter heim, in Ger. The yom tov of Shavuos celebrates the giving of the Torah on Har Sinai. However, in Yiddishkeit we do not commemorate Biblical events, we actually re-experience them. Every year the energy of that wondrous moment when Heaven met Earth can be ignited once again, and those who connect with it are imbued with the spiritual uplift that came into the world 3,330 years ago. In hundreds of shuls and homes, Torah is studied through the night, recreating that point in time that saw our nation assemble at Har Sinai and proclaim our acceptance of the Torah and its study. The Glory that Was Reb Shlomo would explain to us that of all the chassidic groups in Poland, Ger was not only the largest, but the one with the greatest reputation for intense Torah study. The Rebbe of Ger once said that each spiritual leader brought his followers closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in a unique fashion, and that his task was to bring each student closer to Torah knowledge. But despite being the epicenter of the world’s most vibrant chassidic court, the town itself was very small, and few actually resided there all year long. Rather, it was in the hundreds of

MAY 18, 2018

Gerrer shtieblach throughout Poland that groups gathered to study and pray. Shavuos, though, was different. Shavuos saw 10,000 chassidim converge on that one small shtetl of Ger for the highlight of the year, the moment when Har Sinai became almost palpable. Shavuos was the time to receive Torah anew in the presence of the Rebbe. “There was a special train from Warsaw, called the Kolleka, and it came to Ger filled to the brim with chassidim.” His eyes burned with distant memories. “We would run to the station to greet them, looking for cousins, watching out for the rabbanim and gedolim. There was no room for everyone to stay; the town just didn’t have enough space, so hundreds slept in the shul, or in barns – anywhere and everywhere.” Reb Shlomo’s eyes would now be dancing, “Oh, that was a Shavuos; ten thousand chassidim – a kleinekeit?” He would tell us this tale over and over, each time adding some new nuance. He would remember yet another Yid, or an insight he heard. After each such recitation there would come a moment when his eyes would cloud over and one could detect the weight this Jew carried within his heart. “It was all there, the Rebbe, the chassidim, the rabbanim – everything; such passion for life, for Torah … and then it was crushed.” Reb Shlomo had lost his whole

family, but we never spoke of it. Like so much more, it was in his eyes. He would sigh an old, weary sigh and put his head down for a moment. Then he would add, “You youngsters will never know, will never have the merit to see what it was. I feel sorry for you.” Reb Shlomo had seen the glory that was. One Shavuos Reb Shlomo went missing from the shtiebel in Boro Park. It was said he had traveled to Yerushalayim, to the Gerrer beis medrash, to the new place of his yesterdays. After some time he returned, and we all saw a wondrous transformation. Reb Shlomo walked tall, and there was a spring to his step. Shavuos in Yerushalayim We all waited until after davening, and as Reb Shlomo drank a glass of coffee he told us of his trip. “Kinderlach, Ger lives! Yidden are dancing in Yerushalayim to the old songs we heard in Poland! It’s a miracle!” He went on to describe a new Ger, with thousands of chassidim, a new Ger with the old luster and bren. He spoke of his friends, the few saved from the ashes; he told of the rabbanim, of the rebbe’s family. He was alive, Ger was alive, and Torah was alive. Where else but in Eretz Yisrael, a land of holiness, could such a rebirth happen? Where else but in Yerushalyim could such fire be lit? The miracle of a Torah-world rebuilt; tens of thousands of Jews living Hashem’s Word. Reb Shlomo soon moved to that holy place and lived there to a ripe old age, and on his deathbed he was still that same fervent chassid. Today, in all corners of our holy land there is a vibrant renewal of Jewish strength that speaks of our eternal goals, and we hope that soon we will be blessed to see the advent of our final redemption, when all communities gather together and find their future in the holiness of Eretz Yisrael. But until then we can hold on to the message of Shavuos. Gora Kalwaria (Ger) in Poland may be home to only two Jews today, but around the world, the legacy of Shavuos – Mattan Torah and the study of Torah – is being carried out by a people rejuvenated.

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64— advice

Ask the Experts

The Gift of the Present I think that things are going well in my life right now, but everything is moving way too fast and I’m always focused on the “next thing.” The hustle-and-bustle of daily life is keeping me from slowing down and appreciating what I have, like hanging out with my kids at the park, or even lighting Shabbos candles. The other day, I realized that the past few months have just flown by – I feel like I blinked and my kids are growing up so quickly without me stopping to appreciate it. I just wish there was a way for me to savor the moments of life a little more. Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you for such a great question. All too often, people call our office when things are going badly – sometimes very badly – in their lives. It’s refreshing to hear from someone who is looking for strategies to improve on a life that is already “going well.” In many ways, what you are doing is called prevention – by addressing an issue now before it gets out of hand, you’re preventing a serious issue from settling in. And as they say, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The tendency to focus on the “next thing” in many ways is adaptive and functional. Managing a household is a demanding job and requires plenty of planning and careful execution of many detailed arrangements. But when we’re only focused on the “next thing”, we tend to forget about what’s going on “right now.” In more severe cases, this tendency can lead to anxiety and depression, or worse. But for you it’s just getting in the way of fully enjoying life. In the world of mental health today, there is a widely practiced approach to help people focus on the present. It’s called “mindfulness” and it involves training oneself to be aware of the present moment and be free from distraction. Mindfulness came to the United States in the 1970s and has now been shown to be an effective strategy for a host of psychological concerns, and also for general life enhancement. Simply put, mindfullness involves “paying attention in the moment without judgment.” What should one pay attention to, you may ask? The answer is: Anything at all. The point of mindfulness is to learn how to focus our attention, so it actually doesn’t matter what you focus on. The goal is to simply focus one’s attention and remain free of negativity, for a few moments at a time. When starting out with mindfulness exercises, many people focus on their breath. Others focus on white noise, like the sound of a ticking clock or a fan. Others MAY 18, 2018

focus on the sensations and, for example, taste the experience when eating a simple food (e.g., a raisin). Whatever one chooses to focus on, here are three core components of mindfulness: observing, describing, and participating.

Observe: Notice your sensations (sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste). For example, try to notice how it feels to breathe in and out. Breathing is something that we tend to forget about because it’s so automatic, but focusing on how it feels to breathe, even for a few minutes per day, can center ourselves amidst the chaos of life. If you practice this exercise every day, it will be easier to focus and pay attention when you have moments that you’d like to hang onto a little longer (e.g. reading to your kids, lighting Shabbos candles, or enjoying a good cup of coffee with a friend). Describe: Put words to the experience that you just observed. Describe with words how it feels to breathe. Is it relaxing or stressful? Is it comfortable or painful? Is it easy or labored? Do you feel the breath in your chest or also in your stomach? You don’t need to voice your descriptions out loud, although you may find that to be helpful. These simple descriptions may seem silly at first, but try to describe things in as much detail as possible even if it seems obvious. Similar to observing, once you’ve practiced describing simple activities in a mindful way for a period of time, you can branch out and work on special moments. For example, “My son is playing on the green swing on the right side of the swing set, and the temperature outside is warm enough to go outside without a coat for the first time this spring.” Capturing the details helps us pay more attention to the moments of life. In fact, if you take this approach you may even start to notice things you wouldn’t have otherwise recognized (e.g. the sound of a lawnmower in the background). This is where the element of “without judgment” comes in. Try to stay away from judgment words, such as “it should be this way” or “that really looks ugly,” as these tend to distract us rather than keep us focused. Participate: Try to throw yourself completely into the activities of the current moment. This is what some psychologists have termed “flow,” i.e. when you become completely immersed in something. So, when you are mindfully breathing, allow yourself to just breathe and nothing else. If you get distracted in your mind, simply redirect yourself towards

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67 your breath and try to keep focused. Participation can be enhanced by “playing” with your breath – e.g., try to breathe more deeply, or take more shallow breaths, or hold your breath for a few seconds before breathing out in spurts. Have fun and engage fully with the mindful process of breathing, instead of multitasking. I’m sure you can see how this approach readily translates into having more special moments. When you’re at the park with your kids, you’ll be better able to simply be at the park and forget about what happened earlier in the day or what’s happening later on. By participating fully in lighting Shabbos candles, you can take as much (or little) time as you want to look at each candle, notice the flame and its reflection, and to focus on the words you are saying when you light, and even to focus on your thoughts and feelings at the time. Though mindfulness may sound simple it can be challenging to implement, especially at first. As you alluded to in your question, many of us have been influenced by the common culture to be involved with many projects at the same time—thinking of the past and future, but very rarely the present. We typically recommend beginning by focusing on a simple breathing practice as described above—taking a few moments each day (say, 30 or 60 seconds) just to focus on your breathing. Afterwards, try to extend your mindfulness practice a bit longer (to 2 or 3 minutes). From there, try to do it 2x or 3x day. At that point, you’ll probably already feel more centered and grounded, so we’d likely recommend trying out mindfulness in day-to-day life, such as some of the ideas mentioned above. There are so many ways to expand your involvement with mindfulness if you’d like to do so. If you have questions, please call our office and we’ll be happy to provide some additional resources. As you may know, at present, any community member can call us for a free 30-minute consultation and we’d be happy to spend this time with you discussing mindfulness – or any other topic. To end off with a popular quote: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift…that’s why it’s called the PRESENT!” We hope you get to enjoy yours! David H. Rosmarin, Ph.D., ABPP, is an assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, part-time, and a board-certified clinical psychologist. He also directs the Center for Anxiety, which has offices in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Monsey, and Boston. Rebecca Holczer, MA is a postdoctoral fellow at the Center for Anxiety’s Monsey office. She has received extensive training in the application of various exposure therapies, as well as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to adolescents and adults experiencing anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and other disorders. Her clinical style is collaborative and highly individualized to the needs of each patient. We look forward to readers' questions and concerns regarding topics related to mental health and treatment, and we'll publish up to 2 letters and responses monthly. Email submissions to info@centerforanxiety. org, subject: “Tachlis Magazine.” To protect anonymity, names and other identifying details will be changed prior to publication.




68— chinuch


Making Sense of “Alphabet Soup:” EFD and ADHD Explained Rifka Schonfeld


So much depends on a proper diagnosis. Moshe, a fourth grader, had trouble focusing in school and completing his homework. He would often come home with papers flying and the wrong workbook in his backpack. When his parents took him for an evaluation, the specialist found that Moshe was bright, but had trouble with working memory and attention. He was diagnosed with ADHD and given a schedule to follow and medication to mediate the symptoms. Within a few months, Moshe showed significant improvement in his academic career. Ephraim, another fourth grader, showed many similar symptoms and was given the same diagnosis and remediation, but showed almost no improvement. While ostensibly dealing with the same issues, these boys had very different results. How is this possible?

MAY 18, 2018

The answer lies in new theories about education and the mind. While perhaps both boys have symptoms known as Executive Function Disorder (EFD), Moshe has ADHD while Ephraim is dealing with learning disabilities associated with EFD. All of this “alphabet soup” can get pretty confusing – let me explain what EFD and ADHD are in order to better understand Moshe and Ephraim’s differences. What is EFD? In order to recognize Executive Function Disorder, it is important to understand what executive skills are. In their book, Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents, Peg Dawson and Richard Guare explain: Executive skills allow us to organize our behavior over time and override immediate demands in favor of longer-term goals. Through the use of these skills we can plan and organize activ-

ities, sustain attention, and persist to complete a task. Executive skills enable us to manage our emotions and monitor our thoughts in order to work more efficiently and effectively. Simply stated, these skills help us regulate our behavior. Among the individual skills that allow people to self-regulate are: o Planning: the ability to create a roadmap to reach a goal. This includes the ability to focus only on what is important. o Organization: the ability to keep track of multiple sets of information and materials o Time management: the ability to understand how much time one has, and to figure out how to divide it in order to meet a goal o Working memory: the ability to hold information in mind even while performing other tasks o Metacognition: the ability to self-monitor and recognize whether you are doing something poorly or well o Response inhibition: the ability to think before you speak or act o Sustained attention: the ability to attend to a situation or task in spite of distraction, fatigue or boredom People who suffer from Executive Function Disorder lack many of the abilities above. This can lead to persistent lateness, impulsive behavior, and the inability to finish any task completely. Of course, not every adult or child who is occasionally late suffers from Executive Function Disorder. Below, I have provided a chart with benchmarks that you can look for in your child if you are concerned about their executive skills.

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70— chinuch

PRESCHOOL: o Run simple errands (“Put your clothing in the laundry.”) o Inhibit behaviors (don’t touch a hot stove or hit another child) o Self help tasks: brush teeth, get dressed

K – GRADE 2: o Run errands (“Get your shoes, coat, and hat. Then, go downstairs and grab your lunch.”) o Clean up bedroom or playroom o Bring homework to and from school o Inhibit behaviors (safety rules, raising hand in class)

What is ADHD? Some educators today believe that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder falls into an executive function category. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a common behavioral disorder that affects between 8-10% of school age children. Boys are three times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD. Children who have ADHD have trouble sitting still, focusing on one thing at one time, and attending to details. While their attention seems unfocused, it is multi-focused. Their mind takes in multiple stimuli at once, making it hard to engage in one activity for long periods of time. For this reason, reading through conventional methods can be frustrating. Up until 1994, ADHD was known as Attentive Deficit Disorder or ADD. In 1994, it was renamed ADHD and broken down into three separate subtypes with specific characteristics. Inattentive Type, with signs that include: • Difficulty with sustained tasks MAY 18, 2018

GRADE 3-5: o Run errands that involve a time delay or a distance (“Remember to stop by the corner store on your way home and buy a pen.”) o Complete homework assignments (maximum of one hour) o Keep track of changing daily schedule o Save money for desired objects o Inhibit behaviors (refrain from rude comments, temper tantrums)

GRADE 6-8: o Help out with chores around the home (empty dishwasher, shovel snow) o Babysit younger siblings o Plan and carryout long-term projects for school or personal interest o Inhibit rule breaking in the absence of visible authority

HIGH SCHOOL: o Manage schoolwork on a day-to-day basis while planning for the long term o Establish a goal upon exiting high school and work towards that goal o Make use of leisure time through employment or recreational activities o Inhibit reckless and dangerous behaviors

• Noticeable listening problems • Difficulty following directions • Tendency to lose things such as toys, notebooks, or homework • Distracted easily Hyperactive-Impulsive Type, with signs that include: • Fidgeting or squirming • Difficulty remaining seated • Always “on the go” • Difficulty waiting for a turn in line • Excessive talking • Problems with interrupting and intruding The third type of ADHD is a combination of inattentive type and hyperactive-impulsive type and is the most common form of ADHD. How to Get Organized: ADHD • Diagnosis: Once a child is diagnosed with ADHD, parents are able to frame their child’s behavior in a different light. Good diagnoses come with an identification of strengths and weakness, which in turn open the door for treatment.

• Medication. Only a doctor can prescribe medication, however, many children respond extremely well to prescription drugs. These medications often help children maintain focus and improve their academic and social functioning. • Promote talents: Find what your child excels in and try to play to that strength. The more he practices what he enjoys, the more he will master it. Regardless of the activity, having something that he can fall back on in times of stress will keep him grounded and confident. • Education: Learn everything you can about ADHD. The more you know about the disorder, the better you will be able to cope with it. You need to explain ADHD to those around you – your family, friends, and child’s teachers in order to help them deal with issues that might arise. • Coaching: Consider getting your child an ADHD coach who, through a practical and structural process, can help your child improve emotionally, intellectually, socially, and educationally. Coaches offer tools that assist with


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goal setting and follow-through, including strategic planning, decision-making, and motivation. • Exercise: Physical movement wakes up your child’s mind and body if he is feeling distracted. Research shows that ten minutes of physical exercise offers the same benefits (without the side effects) as a dose of Prozac combined with a dose of Ritalin. Ensure that your child has plenty of outdoor time to run around and play. • Daily Schedule: Creating a daily schedule helps children feel in control and focused. When your child knows what comes next and how long he must concentrate on one item, he will be more likely to focus happily. The routine also eliminates anxiety and distractions. • Positive human contact: Spending time with people who provide your child with chizuk and love him unconditionally can offset the reprimands and reminders that most people with ADHD are so used to. Always try to plan quality time with a family member as a reward for good behavior. • Counseling. Children with ADHD benefit tremendously if they work with a psychologist, educational consultant, or doctor. These professionals help guide parents and children towards more effective daily living. How to Get Organized: EFD Dawson and Guare suggest a hands-on approach when dealing with children. This step-by-step method is formulated to help children develop the skills they need to successfully finish their schoolwork and function as competent adults in the workforce: Step 1: Describe the problem behaviors. Examples of problem behaviors might be not following morning routines on schooldays or forgetting to hand in homework assignments. Be as specific as possible when describing the problem behavior – talk about the action – not the child. Step 2: Set a goal. The goal should relate directly to the problem behavior. For example, if the problem behavior is not following morning routines, then the goal should be, “Ezra will get up, say modeh ani, brush his teeth, get dressed, and eat breakfast.”

Step 3: Establish a procedure or set of steps to reach the goal. This is usually done by creating a checklist. The visual information on the checklist can help reorient your child towards the task at hand. Step 4: Supervise the child following the procedure. Especially at the beginning, the child will need to be walked through the entire process. Some supervisory steps include: (1) reminding the child to begin the procedure (2) prompting the child to continue with each step of the procedure (3) observing the child as each step is performed (4) providing feedback to help improve performance (5) praising the child when each step is completed successfully Step 5: Evaluate process and make changes if necessary. Once you see your child run through the procedure, you might notice the moments where he gets caught up. During this step, you can modify the procedure to prevent those breakdowns. Step 6: Fade the supervision. When your child gets the hang of the procedure, gradually withdraw your hands-on intervention. This does not mean you should take away the checklist or your praise, but instead, attempt to allow the procedure to run its course without your reminders. Regardless of the type of alphabet soup life throws your way, with a pinch of knowledge and tablespoon of effort, you will be able to help your child turn that soup into a hearty meal! An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@ You can view her website at Register now for a mindsets and ADHD workshop by Dr. Robert Brooks on November 13, 2018. Please call Mrs. Schonfeld for more information.


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74_Cookin’ Nook

Cookin’ Nook

10 MINUTE CHEESECAKE IT'S DELICIOUS, IT'S EASY, IT'S QUICK. YOU'RE OUT OF EXCUSES. This recipe takes under ten minutes to prepare – if you’re using a ready graham crust. But even if you opt to make your own crust, you’ll be out of the kitchen in fifteen minutes!


Heat oven to 350°.

Crust: If making your own crust: mix graham crumbs, butter and 1/4 cup sugar; press onto bottom of 9-inch springform pan.



MAY 18, 2018

What you do:

Filling: Beat cream cheese and sugar in large bowl with mixer until blended. Add sour cream and vanilla; mix well. Add eggs, one at a time, beating on low speed after each addition until just blended. Pour over crust. Bake 1 hour, or until center is almost set. Run knife around rim of pan to loosen cake; cool before removing rim. Refrigerate cheesecake overnight (or at least 5 hours). Top with topping of choice.


BLUEBERRY CHEESE MUFFINS Yields 12 muffins Shavuos is a great time to try out new milchig recipes. This one’s sure to become an all-year-round hit! You can try in with sliced frozen strawberries too.


What you do:

Preheat oven to 400°. Toss blueberries with about 2 tablespoons of flour and set aside. Combine remaining flour with the other dry ingredients and set aside. In a large mixer bowl, cream the cream cheese, lemon juice, vanilla and almond extracts until smooth. Add eggs, then flour mixture, butter and milk and mix until just moistened. Fold in blueberries. Spray the muffin liners with cooking spray before adding batter (it will help the paper / foil peel off easily after the muffin has cooled a bit). Fill paper-lined muffin tins 2/3 full. Dust with cinnamon sugar. Bake for 18 - 20 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from muffin tin immediately.



76—Cookin’ Nook


RATATOUILLE Ratatouille is the perfect addition to any meal. You can even enjoy it with your eggs at breakfast! A delicious, easy way to get your vegetables in and fill up without added calories.

What you need: 1 - 2 tsp olive oil or cooking spray 1 onion, thinly sliced 4 garlic cloves, peeled and sliced 1 small bay leaf 1 small eggplant, cut into 1/2-inch pieces (about 3 cups) 1 small zucchini, cut in half lengthwise and cut into thin slices 1 red pepper, cut into slivers 4 plum tomatoes, coarsely chopped (about 1 1/4 cups) 1 tsp kosher salt 1/2 cup shredded fresh basil leaves or 1 - 2 frozen basil cubes ground black pepper to taste

What you do:

This recipe has been reprinted with permission from Tanya’s cookbook Volume 1. NUTRITION BY TANYA 844-TANYA-DIET (826-9234)

Over medium-low heat, add oil or spray to a large skillet with onion, garlic, and bay leaf, stirring occasionally until onion is soft. Add eggplant and cook, stirring occasionally, for 8 minutes or until the eggplant is soft. Stir in zucchini, red bell pepper, tomatoes, and salt, and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, 5 to 7 minutes or until the vegetables are tender. Stir in basil and pepper to taste. Makes 2 - 4 servings. Count as free!

MAY 18, 2018



78—Cookin’ Nook

Shavuos Decor Step by Step

The Napkin Rose is a dainty and elegant design which will so easily upgrade your Shabbos table. Although it looks so intricate and fancy, the rose fold is not that difficult to do. This style works best for either linen or very stiff paper napkins. If using linen napkins, it may help to iron the napkins thoroughly with starch first to ensure a more rigid napkin.

Step 1

Step 2

Place the napkin in front of you at a straight angle and fold all the tips of the napkins into the center.

Turn the napkin over and angle it straight again.

Step 3 Fold the outer corners in so they meet at the center once again. Once all of the tips are folded you are left with a square about 1/4 the size of the unfolded napkin. MAY 18, 2018


Step 4 Place something sturdy in the center (A drinking glass works great!)

Step 5 While maintaining downward pressure in the center of the napkin, reach underneath each corner and pull out the flaps to create petals.

Step 6 Pull out the flaps on all four corners of the napkin

Step7 Remove the center weight and your rose is finished!


You can place a roll (bilke) or pretty artificial flower in center of napkin for a more decorative look.


P.S. Don’t forget to share your creations with us at! TA C H L I S M A G A Z I N E

Pareidolic Rollick! Shavuos is finally here! Pareidolia allows us to see faces in the oddest of places. Like a smiling face in our latte’s foam, or a spooky tree trunk that seems to be following our every move.

Just keep smiling as time's flying. -S.B.

Lkovod Shevuos! -M. Greenberg My car is hungry. F.G. At TACHLIS we enjoy the enjoyable, and love to share the shareable. And so, we welcome our readers to submit their favorite and funniest pareidolia shots. Why not invite other readers into your pareidolic world?

Winking music player is playing again! -Trenk Family

Our fence is happy that it's summer again! -Family Rubin This small speaker can be two faces depending on the way you turn the picture. -F.K.





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84— fiction


Neighbor Judy chapter 33


MAY 18, 2018

85 Yehudis discovers a mistake made by Morah Jacobi. Dina worries that Yehudis might broadcast the news of her discovery. Dina and Yehudis keep having little conflicts. Dina realizes more and more that no one is perfect and that her job is to work on her own middos.


feel doubtful that the entire episode with “Batteries” has brought me closer to Hashem. In fact, I still can’t figure out what response would have been right. I talked to Tatty about it and I did a lot of introspection (Ta taught me that word), but I still feel horrible about the incident. I thought Yehudis and I were getting closer, but I’m not so sure I can be friends with someone with her middos. On the other hand, I’m judging her and feeling self-righteous (another word Ta taught me), so I’m doing the same thing in my head that Yehudis did with words. My tummy aches come and go. Mommy has taken me to the doctor. He said I need more fun, more sleep, and less stress. I’m not sure how I can have less stress. Yoni’s becoming Bar Mitzva in just weeks. He never stops talking about it. I’ve begun to time him. He usually talks for at least three minutes, without coming up for air, about his simcha. Yesterday, Pinny asked Yoni to play catch in our backyard. Yoni’s reaction was so wrong that even Mommy had to step in. After a lot of hugs, a cookie, and more hugs, Pinny stopped crying. Meanwhile, Yehudis’ Uncle Issamar and Aunt Shoshi are coming to Meadow Wood again for Shabbos. Dr. Mrs. said something about them helping her out “given the new developments.” I guess they’re trying to be supportive of Moshe. They’re not the only ones who are worried. I might go back to Yehudis’ house today, anyway. It’s not for me to judge her and it’s not for me to expect her to be perfect. Instead, I should say thanks to Hashem for having a friend who has her good qualities. She must be worried crazy about her brother, as well as about the upcoming Brachos Bee. After school, I go across the street. Dr. Mrs. welcomes me with a big smile, as usual. Yehudis says nothing about how I’ve been ignoring her since the “Batteries” incident and invites me into her kitchen for some of her mom’s muffins. Recently, Yehudis’ mommy has become more adventurous with her muffins. The other day, she made some with pretzels and potato chips in them. Another time, her treats had kiwis and loquats. I didn’t know what a loquat is. The craziest recipe featured pastrami and pickles. Only Mrs. Barronoff ate them. Luckily, today’s muffins are mostly normal; they’re craisin-walnut. I finish my mouthful of muffin before speaking. “So, how goes studying for the Brachos Bee?” I look over at my friend. Yehudis is absentmindedly flipping through pages of one of her advanced math books while stroking Leora. She looks…almost bored. I’ve seen her happy. I’ve seen her sad. I’ve seen her angry. I’ve seen her surprised. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look bored. That’s crazy! I would be running around if I was going to

represent Beis Chaya in the state tournament. I certainly wouldn’t be calmly talking to my friend, reviewing math, or gently stroking my cat. “Aren’t you excited?” “Of course!” “Why are you looked at math problems?” “There’s nothing I can do now. I studied everything. I know all of the brachos.” “How are you not nervous?” “Either I know the material or I don’t.” “Wow! You have more emunah than…” “Dina, stop. Just stop. If my friends can’t see me as ‘same as,’ how can anyone else?” I stop. Completely. I frown. I close the math book I had opened, which contains multiplication homework. The homework can wait. It’s nearly the end of the school year and I’m still making “them” and “us” boxes for Yehudis and me. I wonder if I would still be tripping on this middah if the “Batteries” incident hadn’t happened. B’emes, if I’m completely honest, the “Batteries” event did not cause me to have this problem, but it did make it harder for me to get past it. Arrgh! I want to be a good friend to Yehudis. I also wouldn’t mind if she continued to help me with math. Morah Jacobi alerted our class that next week we will begin working on division. Anyway, if I’m judging unfavorably, what are other people doing? After “Batteries,” stuff with Etty and Rachel got worse. At first, I thought they were mad Yehudis had such a good time at Morah Mandel’s wedding. Then I thought that they got mad that Yehudis did the right thing when it came to talking to Morah Jacobi. Now I see their ill-treatment of my friend has nothing to do with Yehudis or anything she does. They put her down to feel up. That’s so wrong. Yet, am I doing any better. Why do I think of her as “BT” (baal teshuva) and me as “FFB” (frum from birth)? Isn’t it enough we’re both daughters of Hashem? Meanwhile, today, in school, Morah Jacobi intercepted (that was last week’s new word) a note Etty and Rachel were passing around. In it, they talked about Yehudis as though she was some sort of barnyard animal. Not everyone in class saw the note, but everyone was whispering about it. Etty and Rachel got “excused” from school for a week. Yehudis wanted to stay home, too, but Dr. Mrs. didn’t let. If Dr. Mrs. were my mom, would she have let when I had the bad tummy ache around the “Batteries” incident? Yehudis says her parents are learning new ideas from Moshe’s ungrumpy doctor. It seems that the “right” answer to some of the hurts the Barronoff kids are having is their parents being tougher, not softer. I’m not sure I agree with that doctor. Moshe has started going back to school, but only for one day per week - the day his class has art and gym class. As for Yehudis, maybe she’s become too tough. I wonder if she lets her feelings show, if she’d ever stop crying. I’ve been having lots of talks with Tatty and Mommy. I’m scared; lately those talks don’t seem to help. For instance, I’m still seeing Etty and Rachel as “bad,” instead of seeing TA C H L I S M A G A Z I N E

86— fiction their choices as bad and I’m still seeing Yehudis as “other.” I’m glad Yehudis reminded me of that second problem. She’s a much better friend to me than she’ll ever know. I get off my chair and give her a hug. Her body feels hard. When I hug her, it feels softer. “So, what kind of muffins do you think your mommy will make next?” I ask. “Are you trying to make nice-nice and to change the subject?” “Yes.” “I’ll give you an ‘A’ for effort. Your method needs some more work, though.” Yehudis blooms a dimple as she talks. “Will you forgive me? I still need to work on not judging.” “Do I have a choice? If I waited for any of my friends to be 100%, I’d have no friends.” “That’s awful. But since we’re talking, can I ask you something else?” “Sure.” “Are you really calm about the Brachos Bee?” “Are you really crazy?” Two weeks pass and suddenly it’s the Sunday of the state Brachos Bee. Dr. Mrs., Mommy, Mrs. Zacharias, who is Devorah’s mom, Morah Jacobi, Rebbetzin Schwartz, Yehudis, Devorah, and I drive up to Passaic in Beis Chaya’s van. Rebbetzin Schwarz insisted that Yehudis have a support group and picked out who would be in it. This year, the championship is being hosted by Simchas Esther. Having a Brachos Bee at a school with that name is kind of ironic since not one time is Hashem mentioned directly in Megillas Esther. As we drive through New Jersey, Yehudis works on complicated math problems. She tells me that calming herself through math is better for her than getting herself nervous by reviewing brachos again. I guess I’ll never be a titleholder. As we drive, Mommy is looking at some of the pamphlets Aunt Yael has given her. I think my aunt has given up on changing Mommy’s mind about Yoni’s celebration. Instead, she’s been talking to Yoni, but he has no real decision-making power. I guess their chats make my aunt happy, anyway, since she has no boys. Last night, for instance, they talked for hours about coordinating the boys’ ties, the girls’ dresses and the napkins in the hall. These days, Aunt Yael is working on changing Mommy’s ideas for our trip to Eretz Yisrael. Mommy sighs every time she gets the mail since Aunt Yael keeps putting lots of pamphlets in our box. At first, Mommy read them. Now, she gives them to Mimi to color. It’s amazing what fish pictures look like on leaflets for Masada or Tzfas. In much too little time, we get to Simchas Esther. I look at Yehudis. Her face is pale. She’s sweating. As she walks over to sit with the other contestants, I notice that she blends in with them. Her hair looks like theirs. Her skirt is ironed. The only difference in her outfit is our school emblem on her shirt. It’s hard to imagine that just a few months ago she didn’t know where to shop or how to dress. I wonder if the outside changes reflect inside changes. I wonder why I keep judging. I am so lost in thoughts that I almost miss the emcee’s MAY 18, 2018

announcement of the contestants. Yehudis’ eyes scan the crowd. She looks directly at Dr. Mrs. and then at me. She smiles. I smile. My smile fails to grow dimples on her face, however. As they announce Yehudis, I hear a sniffle. Dr. Mrs. is slowly working her way through a pack of tissues. “It’s happy crying,” she says, smiling through the tears. “I never would have thought, after so little time…. the state championship…I’m just so happy,” she sniffles some more. The Bracha Bee moves faster than I expected. Yehudis answers question after question. She answers things that I never thought about. She answers things I never learned about. I almost start to sniffle, too. Finally, they announce the winners. I bite my lip and tap my toes. “First place goes to…” I scrunch up my eyes and whisper “Yehudis, Yehudis” over and over to myself. “…Faigie Kahan of Beis Yaakov Bnos Rivka. A big mazal tov and yasher ko’ach to her and her family!” I turn to Dr. Mrs. Yehudis didn’t win! I can’t believe it. They must have made a mistake. She knew so much! She did so well. “…Yehudis Barronoff! A big mazal tov to her and her family!” the emcee says. I missed it. I turn to Mommy. “Third. She placed third!” she informs me. “Third! My baby won third place!” Mrs. Barronoff blows her nose. Mimi would compare her to an elephant. All too soon, we are back in the van and on the way home. Yehudis is all smiles. “Can you believe it, Dina, can you?” she bounces as high as her seatbelt allows. “I got third place! Third place! Out of everyone!” “That’s really amazing!” I still can’t wrap my head around her celebrating. “But didn’t you want first?” “Of course I did, but I never expected to place at all!” “I knew you would.” “I wish I could be as optimistic as you!” I shrug. Devorah says nothing, but gives Yehudis a big hug. Yehudis hugs her back. “I owe it all to you, to Dina, to Mommy, to Morah Jacobi, and to Rebbetzin Schwartz. The Brachos Bee showed me I’m the most blessed girl, ever!” To be continued...



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Issue 127 | May 18, 2018 | 4 Sivan, 5778


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� D�� t � N��! �n m � � l�� p���

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92—coloring book

We’d love to see how you color this page!

creative adults caption this: Send your clever caption to kids@thetachliscom or fax to 877.331.3738, along with your name and location. Don't worry, we won't ask for your age :)

creative adults captioned that: Spring is here, let's play together and spread good cheer! -R.W. Jumping rope is so much fun, Next to a tree, or under the sun Now that it is May We can have fun and play The entire day! So come and see, How I jump with glee. -R.M. "JJ, Cholov Yisroel!" (does the caption give my age away?) -Chanie R. Williamsburg

SUBMISSIONS WILL be DISPLAYED here! Please send your name, age & location to, with your child's information in the subject line. Or mail art work to 80 Red Schoolhouse Road, Suite 107, Chestnut Ridge NY 10977.

MAY 18, 2018



Bassy Goldmunzer 6 1/2 Boro Park

Bruchy Goldmunzer 8 Boro Park

Shimon ( 3 1/2) & Fraidy ( 7 1/2) Iskowitz



Chavy Fried 9 Brooklyn

Chaya'la Friedman 4 Williamsburg

Frumie Felberbaum 9 Brooklyn

Gitty 5 Williamsburg

Leahle Bleichfeld 8 Boro Park

Nechama Helberg 7 Kensington

Ruchy GOldberger 4

Surie Feig 10 Williamsburg

Mayer Teller 7

Yeruchem Tillim 5 Lakewood

Chaya Dina Mendlowitz 6 Brooklyn

Thank you all for your art work!

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Due to limited space we couldn’t publish everything.But please do keep sending your beautiful creations and we will get you in iy”H. TA C H L I S M A G A Z I N E

94— brain games

Brain games

Chess Club White to move and make a checkmate in 3 moves



Symbol Meaning

K Q R B N x + # 0-0 0-0-0 ! ?

King Queen Rook Bishop Knight Moves to Captures Check Checkmate Castles King’s side Castles Queen’s side Good move Bad move

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Logical: What parking spot is the car parked in?








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All the numbers are whole numbers (intro), so B4=6 and A3=2 (clues 3 and 8). No two numbers are the same (intro), so C2=8 (10). D3=48 (15). B1=16 (5). C4=24 (12). A1=72 (1). D2=56 (14). B3=54 (7). C1=27 (9). D4=43 (16). C3=11 (11). A4=5 (4). D1=30 (13). B2=14 (6). A2=22 (2).

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96— — comics

s... c i m o c Deductive Detective The


K by Dan L.


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98— inspiration

Be like a flower and turn your face to the sun. Beautiful & Practical Hostess Accessories for your Summer Home! Baccarat

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‫‪In Stock‬‬ ‫‪and ready‬‬ ‫‪to deliver‬‬ ‫‡י"ה‬


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‫‪‬נ‪‬ע‪‬סעטס‬ ‫‪‬יינ‪‬עלנע‪‬חל‪‬ים‬

Issue 127  
Issue 127