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3 player teams. Sign up with bartender. Starts at 7PM

8-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up 6PM Starts at 7PM



9-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up at noon Starts at 1 PM




Sara Calvosa

The Dream of the '90s It seems like just yesterday I was in my early 20s, dancing

DO ME ON THE FRONT Amidst a swirling mist of bong rip fog, you climb into your tie-dyed time machine and set the dial for downtown Chico in the 90's. You arrive to find yourself wearing things made of hemp, and you're on your way to dance your biscuits off, passing Stormy's and Pizza Face on your way to the Main Event. Jordhuga is playing, and you run into somebody. Turn to page 8 if you decide to buy acid from a guy in a bathrobe and wind up at Steve Hoffman's after-party.








THE OLD GOVERNMENT OVERREACHAROUND I'm sure you've heard news all over the place about the National Security Agency taking liberties with your liberty all under the umbrella of that shit sandwich known as the Patriot Act. If you're confused about why the NSA is serving you a shit sandwich and what type of outraged slacktivist you should be, check out Matt Olson's breakdown and get ready to use some angry hashtags.



07 16

17 18

in the city plaza between the trees like a wanton hippie, with the smooth sounds of Jordhuga wafting through on the breeze. The drugs, the dancing, the bralessness, the tie-dye ... we were throwbacks, throwing 'em back. We were all about peace and love, and regurgitating conversations about consciousness and being kind. All the cool kids were doing it. And I'm pretty sure I recall an evening or two spent smoking a coco-puff in a VW van in the public lot across from the U-Bar, waiting for Jordhuga to go on at Stormy's. It was a different time, an iconic era in Chico-and I think that perhaps we spend a lot of time living in the shadow of that era. Lucky for all of us, Amy Olson rekindles the dream of the '90s in her super-elevated interview with Jordhuga, full of reminiscing and nostalgic goosebump-inducing memory mining. We catch up with everybody, find out what they've been up to (except Steve Hoffman, because let's face it-that guy is everywhere and we all pretty much know he's doing great) and reconnect with familiar faces from the old scene. For more info, and to share your old Jordhuga memories, search for their Facebook event page JORDHUGA Reunion, and if you're not on Facebook, ask a guy. See you at Lost for some quality reminiscing on June 22nd. Get there early, groupies! Also, congratulations to the spanking new News & Review editor, Melissa Daugherty! We're glad to see she's still planning to uphold the News & Review's longstanding tradition of giving 3000 words to subjects that can easily be covered in less than 500. And we agree, the Internet is totally a passing fad. The people will soon tire of wanting their news instantly and be grateful to go back to reading that hard-hitting week-old news. But if we didn't have the internet, then we wouldn't have THIS: sky

Use two sticks to make the holes. be sure to get al th e dirt out ol you pipe

by blowilg it out. use a half bottle to mouthpiece and you

can use one to the breath-hole.





THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD: PART I The Synthesis has once again gone Dickensian on your asses. Check out Part 1 of our new four-part sci-fi series by Andrew Hanson. It's a little bit Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy, a little bit Autobiography of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and a whole lot of fun!




NOW HEAR THIS! STAFF PICKS Sara "Under Pressure-Isolated Vocal Track " -

syn thesis Freddie Mercury & David Bowie

Katya "Elements" - Lindsey Stirling Dain "Adriano Celentano" - Prisencolinensinainciusol Amy "Lullaby" - Jordhuga Michaela "Moonshiner" - Punch Brothers

CROWDSOURC~,. Jessica M Compton M¥ mom, Silvia Mur gia, taking all ·of us kids to the Friday ight Concert under the big trl!es at t h e Plaza. We woul·d use our allowance to buy pop-it's to throw at each other while we were there . Sh e would let us go han g out at the t ree that was misshapl!d with al l the other kids. Then when the concl!rt was. over and .sh e was still talking to all the other adults. from Chico Commun ity Chi ldren's Cenler, we would .sear·ch the park for things that had been left by the (rowd . If that proved to be unrewarding. We would han g out on the· dance fl oor and wait for the big black beetles to come ·out from under the old drinking fountain base to .stomp on. T hose were the days.@ Do you remember doing this? Ruben Murgia Gesca Murgia Like · Reply·~ 7 ·Yesterday at 10:52am via mobile Silvia Murgia do you remember the time Gr egg had to go home and get a Iadd er to get rnbens shoe out o f the tree? Like • 17 hours ago


Write a reply ...

Shannon Carny Keyser Pear l jam Like · Reply·~ 6 ·Yesterday at ll:lOam Justin Cooper Dancing in Cenual Park under the big ol' trees. Meeting my wife here. Moonlit bike rides on warm sum mer nig hts with my fr iends. The time I .swam in Sycamore Pool at One-Mile. Working at lax.on. Feeling like I was final ly home. Like · fteply · ~ 6 ·Yesterday at 10:45am Crysral Salas i miss the g,ood music !! atway.s waiting to record songs of the radio and make my mix tapes! being youn g, and carefrel!, economy was good and everyone wa.s actual ly treatl!d like an Amer ican unlike today ••. Like · Reply·~ 5 ·Yesterday at 11:12am via mobile D-Raul West Best timl!s of my life in Chico 92-98 \m/ Like· Reply·~ 4 · 23 hours ago via mobile Yuri1N Lu i1s My chi ldhood, CHICO WAS ALOT SAFER ! Like · Reply·~ 4 ·Ye.sterdayat11:05am via mobile Marcie Basner Listening to the radio with my tape in the tape p'a yer waiting for my favorite songs to come on to record @ like · !teply · ~ 4 ·Yesterday at 10:38am via mobile

f ch icoca



JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013


For 19 years The Synthesis goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness. opinions. and change.

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett



CREATIVE DIRECTOR Michaela Warthen graphics@synthesis .net

DESIGNERS Mike Valdez. Tanner Ulsh



DELIVERIES Joey Murphy Molly Roberts

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Danny Cohen, David Neuschatz, Dillon Carroll. Erica Koenig. Guy Starvist, Howl. Jaime O'Neill. Jen Cartier. Josie Hall, Jeremy Gerrard, Kenneth Kelly. Koz McKev, Ky Junkins, Matt Olson, Ryan Hawkley. Steve Swim, Tommy Diestel

Hella '90s Wordsearch nirvana sister tlc pumpkins flannel clueless degrees soundgarden hella jurassic phat natalie

dolls titanic prince garbage pearl fight meets day backstreet alone family <lave


friends matrix simpsons nsync scrunchies toy about spice grunge private blossom bush

Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

CALENDAR Bethany Johnson

NERD Dain Sandoval



OWNER Bill Fishkin The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the properly of Apartment 8 Productions

and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other

Word Puzzle created by Bethany Johnson


way, shape or form without the written consent

of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and our law!). All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8

Productions and the Synthesis.

The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for

content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708



Cowardly New World Big news, I guess-our government has been spying on us all. Edward Snowden, a contractor turned whistle-blower working for the National Security Agency (NSA), has recently revealed that our elected officials have been conducting a massive campaign of data gathering and mining, ostensibly to protect us from terrorism and other bad actors. It's my opinion that anyone who hadn't already figured that out is living in a world of rainbows and unicorns. It's a strange new world we're living in, though I certainly wouldn't qualify it as "brave." It's a narrative and a reality constantly driven by a pervasive sense of fear. Someone is always out to get us. If our government didn't peek into our closed doors, they wouldn't be able to protect us from all of the "unknown unknowns;' -probably my favorite quote from former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. It

strikes me as the polar opposite of a "free country" when you've got Big Brother monitoring your phone calls and peeping your e-mails, but what do I know? Meanwhile in Texas Ezekiel Gilbert was recently acquitted of the murder of Lenora Ivie Frago, in spite of the fact the he gunned her down with an AK47 while she was riding away in a car. Frago was acting in the role of escort when Gilbert enlisted her services via Craigslist. Gilbert voluntarily gave Frago $150 for her time, but when she refused to have sex with him and left with his money, Gilbert shot her. The reasoning for the acquittal was based on a Texas law that says people can use deadly force to recover stolen property. The jury believed that the implied promise of sex had been reneged upon, and therefore Gilbert was entitled to his money back.


Because Frago refused to give the money back, the jury decided Gilbert was justified in using deadly force to try to regain his lost property: one hundred and fifty dollars that he handed over on his own accord. As the kids on the Internet would say, SMFH. What Happened to "the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave?" I don't know how things are going these days. You've got the good people, the honest people, the beautiful people-many of them are dropping out in sheer disgust at a system that is obviously corrupt. And so it's left up to the cretins, and the cretins look out for one another. If you're actually in a position to effect any change, and you speak out against perceived atrocities, they lock you away in the name of protecting freedom. They've elevated property and ownership to the spiritual level of life and death. If they are afraid of you, in parts of the country, the simple fact of their own personal fear allows and justifies them to kill you.

I really don't know. From where I'm sitting, it looks like we're going to have to consider changing our slogan.

JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013


PUT A FORK IN IT Jen Cartier

I <3 Chico/S.F./NYC


wRmns connsT



In more Jen-related news, when I cook dinner, I've been making double everything and putting one finished meal in the freezer for future easyreheating. It's because life is about to get seriously hectic.

BY Of Rf llCT UOICf PAnf l Of JUDGfS

Why, you ask? Because the rumors are true. I'm leaving Chico.

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The one pesky black hair on my chin seems to be growing faster these days. It has refrained from multiplying, however, so that's still working in my favor. I'm no bearded lady. I'm just a more frequent plucker.

JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013

I'm heading back to the Bay Area to become the Production Supervisor for a specialty chocolate company based out of San Leandro, CA. My first task: attend The Fancy Food Show in NYC. Then, I'll move on to learning the ropes, overseeing production, and marketing lovely tea-infused artisan chocolates to domestic and international buyers. Sign me up, bro.

We relate on some level that is cellular, deep, easy, and beautiful. Sara Calvosa asked, "Are you like, attached at the belly-button soul mates?" We feel like we're somehow attached at the frontal lobe. Even though the physical distance between us currently spans the three-hour drive between San Francisco and Chico (duuumb) , we can feel each other wake up in the morning. He'll send me texts that say, "Yep. Another day waking up in love with you:' And I turn into a puddle of molten chocolate before getting out of bed. Melted Jen requires a chocolate mold, which Mick happily provides from the wealth of products available at Williams-Sonoma, where he works at the corporate level, and consequently, gets discounts. Score! We're moving to the East Bay for the easily accessible BART stations and good schools. I have family there, Mick has family there, and the kids know the area-they made great friends very quickly when we lived there previously. Bonus: my oldest son will regain access to Buckhorn Grille-the one thing he was sad to leave in the Bay.

In more good news: with some severe armtwisting, Calvosa said I could keep writing this column. I'm super excited because: 1) I love this column, 2) I'll have access to fun foodie things in the Bay Area that I'll share with you, 3) It'll keep me connected to Chico so I won't feel totally lost and distant without all of you, and 4) When I visit, you'll know it because all those Synthie Duffy's bucks will have been stockpiled and drinks are on me. Sheez.

I can go back to playing softball with the Richardheads (I'll love you forever Synthesizers!) with girls I played ball with back in high school. Adult co-ed softball is basically a large-scale drinking game: better than beer pong, and requiring stronger athleticism. So you have a few drinks, hit some balls, and say mean things to people you don't know.

Finally, I'm marrying my long-time friend, Mick Grochol.

And, you marry your favorite person. Duh. I love you, Chico!



The Comedy

> The

There are certain rules in cinema that nearly always ring true. For example: if a character shows any kind of weakness, they will inevitably suffer a horrible fate. Cowardice, malice, fear and infidelity will guarantee something terrible-while acts of kindness, courage and strength are nearly always rewarded with some sort of happy ending. It's human nature to want to see the just and virtuous rise to the top while the devious and petty are punished, but that's unfortunately not true to life. Movie and television show plotlines have become so formulaic that when the viewers pick up on certain clues and markers, they automatically know what to expect. I find this kind of predictability boring, but obviously the same old formula still holds plenty of mass appeal, as proven by the overwhelming drivel available in theaters and on TV. Deviation from the tried-and-true character reward-and-punishment system creates a hearty split between audiences who are still enraptured by the old formula, and others (like myself) who welcome a change in the way these cinematic stories are being told. A recent episode of Game Of Thrones has fans falling on either side of the divide, with some outraged at the deaths of several central characters, and others excited by the unexpected deviation. Part of what made it particularly shocking was the manner in which they... ahem ... "exited" the show. Videos showing fans' reactions to the scene in question have cropped up all over the Internet, as well as a number of parody videos-one even created by an actor from GoT. Personally, I welcome a change in the way stories are being told. The old formula is boring. To me, when I see the hero schlepping his way from challenge to challenge and ultimately winning see also: getting the girl, the cash, the fame, blah blah blah, it's so goddamn boring. Thankfully, there are movies and shows being created now that are break-


ing this mold. (Movies like The Comedy. It's fantastic, and the soundtrack is phenomenal. See it immediately-unless your favorite movie is The Notebook, in which case, fuck right off; it's not for you). Any fan of George R.R. Martin (author of the Game of Thrones series) knows not to get too attached to any character. For any and all of them, as the saying goes, winter is coming. Movies and series that defy the usual method of storytelling are refreshing, as they portray characters that can actually be related to. I don't think I'm alone when I say I can identify more with a chronically-depressed asshole than a clumsy, doe-eyed ingenue who dreams only of a man who'll sweep her off her feet. Or maybe I actually am alone in that sentiment... I'm not sure. As members of the Trophy Generation (kids from the era of receiving awards even for mere participation), we do so adore constant praise; it stands to reason that wea prefer stories that help fulfill our sense of undeserved accomplishments, rather than ones that challenge the reality of our unfulfilled lives .. . or maybe this stupid weather is just making me grumpy. Hang in there, you guys. We'll get through this.


JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013


What Happened To You Chico?

You Used To Be Cool. FOR MANY PEOPLE IN THE LATE 1990s, Chico was all about outdoor keg parties and nights on the town filled with earthy, funky, jam music, typified primarily by The Mother Hips, Electric Circus, Puddle Junction and Jordhuga. All the bars had live bands, and you would make the rounds to hear each one. Even if a show wasn't your particular scene, there were bound to be a bunch of people you knew hanging out, and it was worth grabbing a drink. People wore corduroy patchwork and hemp jewelry, danced barefoot, wore flowers in their hair. To make a profound understatement: shit got loose. It was a little bubble of the '70s that had somehow seeped through the decade between, swollen to a glossy swirling rainbow surface, and then, unceremoniously, it burst.

Something changed; maybe it was the inevitable forces of culture moving on, shifts in the economy, the transition from Clinton to Bush-era politics, the massive drug busts that dried up the nation's acid or the influx of pills and cocaine that filled the void left behind. Or maybe with the passing of time there were personal truths each individual had to face once relationships had played themselves out. People came to a point where they needed to pursue new interests and live up to new responsibilities, or be stuck in the mire of aging without growth. Some fell further down their rabbit holes while others took a good, long look at themselves in the mirror and stepped through the looking glass. All around us, Chico evolved too. Noise ordinances put a serious kibosh on the culture of backyard blowouts, and the city spent gobs of money in an effort to diminish Chico's

reputation as a party town. Many of the most band-friendly venues closed, and the remaining bars shifted more and more of their booking to karaoke, cover bands or DJs with a lower overhead. DNA's Wednesday concerts in the park went away, as did Chico State's BMU and Rose Garden shows. The extended family of musicians and music fans that had once populated the streets on any given night were relegated to the occasional show, doomed to estrangement. People started getting all stabby. Which is fine, I guess. Stabbing is the hot new thing and I can accept that; I just wish Chico's amazing musicians were given more stage time. In all fairness, there are issues with unpredictable turnout that weren't a problem when the live scene was thriving; booking a band is a greater risk for a venue, and at least on that end of things it is within our power as music fans to affect change. Once in a while I'm reminded of how things used to be in those days, and that 21-year-old part of me wakes up with a flood of snapshot memories. Hearing that Jordhuga is gathering its far-flung members back to California to hold a special reunion show is definitely one of those times. Jordhuga was special; they had singers who could sing in delicious harmony, a tight rhythmic funk between bass, percussion and drums, and the melodic interplay of keys and guitar were purposeful in a way few bands from the Jam genre could pull off. In fact, I feel strange referring to them as a "jam band"-the characteristic long rambling jams that most people associate with that label never were their style; they kept it short and sweet while still providing the creative improvisation that made each show a unique experience. This wave of nostalgia I've been riding lately started off bittersweet, but the more I immerse myself in video clips of "You can go Swimming" and "How High You Are", all I feel is the glow. And after talking to the members of the band this

week it's clear that I'm not the only one; by the end of each conversation it was love and smiles, and the enthusiasm and emotional essence of that time-the beauty of those people and that sound-had washed over each of us. I grew up in Chico immersed in the culture of live outdoor shows. I didn't exactly take it for granted (I enjoyed the shit out of it) but it hadn't really occurred to me that other people had heard of this little burg. It seemed so isolated to me out in the middle of farmland. The truth is, however, people were talking about this place: the friendliness, the art, and especially the music. Part of that reputation was fostered by followers of the Grateful Dead who had begun settling here between their travels. Eventually the older generation of those travellers had thrown down roots, developed their arts and contributed greatly to the character of our town, providing a fantastic environment for the younger generation to pursue their own talents and interests. By the mid 1990s Chico was known far and wide in the underground scene-a reputation we still have among many travelling folk, be it for better or for worse. "We started out in Columbia, South Carolina;' relates Vocalist Travas Hunter. "Chris [Lawther-guitar, vocals] and I were writing together in an acoustic trio [with then-keyboardist Kris Windham]. Scott [Barwick-bass, vocals] and Marty [Cribb-drums] came along and it seemed to get real. We played some shows ... then The Grateful Dead happened. Saw








..., ' I



by Amy Olson

I a

JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013





in many other groups before, but this was the first one that really felt like we were going places. The music was all original, and (I thought) really amazing. Over the years of playing (1997-2000) I was a keyboardist, a bass player for a short time, and finally, the guitarist. The best thing about being in Jordhuga was the feeling of family, with both the fans and the followers. Great times, great memories, many shows played;' Richard said.

the last few shows of the East Coast Spring tour in early 1995, then Chris & Kris went west to see them in Oregon & California:' Chris Lawther explained the first encounter that sparked the move to Chico: "Kris and I had visited, dropping some dude and his dog off after a crosscountry trek, and kinda realized pretty quickly how music-friendly the town was. We sat on some porch with that girl Ebony, and started picking, and next thing I know Reid Seibold and various other folks are dancing in the yard. What else could a musician want? We came [here] in chunks. We were getting our act together there, and our keyboardist felt some moral imperative to try to get us to Chico. So the bulk of the band came out to Chico with a U-haul and waited a couple weeks for the rest of us:' Percussionist Steve Hoffman had a similar story. He had grown up in Southern California where it was mostly a white-reggae scene, while he personally was getting more into the Dead. Someone told him to check out Chico, because there was great music happening up here. He recalled meeting Scott, Travas and Chris shortly after theya moved to town. They had a great jam session together and they told him, "Just wait until you meet Marty" -who was soon to arrive.

Nearly every member was responsible for writing a hook or a hit song. That amount of talent and inspiration couldn't really be contained by one band, and maybe it was the impending mortality of it that made it so rich and vital while it lasted. As each band member found that their personal dreams and side bands needed more of their energy and attention, Jordhuga gradually dissolved like rain soaking into soil. From that grew many other amazing and beneficial projects; multitudes of bands with different musical leanings sprung up on both ends of the country fostered by their skill and experience.

"There is nothing I would trade for the years we shared creating wonderful music and being around all of those amazing people."

For Marty Cribb, picking up and moving across the country was a more difficult decision, but he found it was the right one. "I bought a $96 Greyhound ticket and 3 1/2 days later I was living in Chico. I had never even been past Tennessee at that point in my life, so the culture shock was huge and intimidating-albeit incredibly accepting, nurturing, friendly and life-changing. I found my identity in Chico and with Jordhuga. I wouldn't be a fraction of the human I am today without the shared experience with these guys and in this place. There is nothing I would trade for the years we shared creating wonderful music and being around all of those amazing people:'



"Favorite memory has GOT to be the naked party! Aw, man! There was a party... and we're just doing our little thing, and everybody's shakin' it pretty good. I look up from my guitar, and everybody is naked ... clothes off, everyone. That is funny enough, but then to look over at Andy Bryant's face ... oh jeez, that was funny. I'm sure I looked plenty surprised, but Andy's face was just hilarious;' laughed Chris. 1 1

The original keyboardist had to return to South Carolina rather early on, and was replaced by Andy Bryant. The band was really starting to click, and were taken under the wing of Puddle Junction, who invited them to play an overnight camping party that pretty much cemented the ' idea that this was where they belonged. ' ' That was the beginning of a great friend- / ' ', ship between the bands and the first of ,. ,. ', many raucous live gigs.


\ I

- - - - - - - - ---



Keyboardists were apparently the \ most transitory band members, although in the final years nearly all the original members became sidetracked and eventually parted ways, many returning to South Carolina. In all there would be four different keyboard players, each contributing to the band's sound and song catalog. In 1997, Andy Bryant left the band making way for Richard Cockcroft. "I had two days to learn 30 songs, then we went on a three-day tour to Tahoe. We all traveled together 1 I in a 15-passenger van, with a trailer 1 for the gear. Mostly, we all got along really well. We had to, due to the close quarters, but there was something else; there was a special feeling with this band. I had played



1 1 1 1

Notably for the Chico music scene, Scott Barwick went on to found the Origami Lounge recording studio and production company, an institution that's given so many musicians in the area an opportunity to grow and step forward. Steve Hoffman (who has made a huge impact in his own right) said of his friend;'Scott makes things at a reasonable cost and it's very professional, and it's also very lax and cool... anything that Scott touches turns to gold. He's so talented-whether he's playing the keyboard, playing guitar, writing music, playing the bass-he does it all. He's phenomenal:' While they had played gigs in San Francisco, opened for such bands as Eek-a-Mouse and String Cheese Incident, played many festivals and regional tours, their home venue here in town was The Main Event-now Lost on Main. Appropriately, this will be the venue of their reunion show coming up on Friday. Band members are flying out from South Carolina, counting on the proceeds of the show to lighten the burden of bringing their whole families together to share in the experience. But they're not the only ones travelling great distances for this reunion. The response has been overwhelming; friends who have walked long roads apart are gathering to celebrate that unfading love that bound them all along. $10 will get you a window into a time gone by that may be overdue for a revival. You can even buy a little piece to take home from among their limited batch of shirts, CDs and posters. Tickets will be available at the door, but I expect this show to fill up fast.

' 'fordhuga - Lost On Main Friday, June 21st. 9pm, $10



JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013



1â&#x20AC;˘ Good, Because You Can't It should be clear to everyone by now that the National Se-

curity Agency (NSA) has achieved an unprecedented level of access to the communication patterns and digital trails of American citizens. The exact details are murky due to the classified nature of the program and the public relations denials of the companies involved (including Apple, Google, Microsoft, and Facebook), but the best information we have at this time is that PRISM is an NSA program for streamlining Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) requests with these companies, and receiving data in return. The companies claim that the NSA does not have direct access to their servers, and information is only delivered after a lawfully issued FISA request, and is not delivered in an automated fashion. This might be comforting, if it weren't for the fact that the FISA courts have largely rubber stamped any request the government makes on national security grounds. With the passage of the FISA Amendments Acts of 2008, it is easier than ever to get a court order for expansive datasets on the shakiest of foundations. The NSA's reach goes far beyond the newly revealed PRISM program. In 2006, whistleblower Mark Klein revealed that the NSA has a top secret room in an AT&T facility in San Francisco that gives them direct, realtime access to all traffic on its backbone network. It has since been revealed that over a dozen such rooms exist in major facilities across the country, giving the NSA wiretapping capabilities for nearly all Internet traffic. I have a lot to say on the subject of Internet surveillance too much for this space, in fact - so let me be brief. The Internet is arguably the most important communication medium in human history. The open communication and



JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013

democratization of information made possible by the Internet has been transformative for societies across the globe. When central governments build surveillance (or control) capacity over these critical tools, it makes its citizens (that's you and me) vulnerable to abuses unimaginable just 20 years ago. We need only take a page from history and look to the abuses of the FBI during the reign of J. Edgar Hoover to catch of glimpse of what's possible. He used his immense authority to stifle Vietnam War protests, and the Free Speech and Civil Rights movements, infiltrate and sow dissent within these movements, which were seen as directly challenging government authority, and discredit o eml:farrass politiGal::l~aaers and personal enemies. Imagine if Hoover were tapping not just the phones calls of Martin Luther King, Jr., but his emails and location, as well as those of his associates and followers. It would have been much more difficult, if not impossible, to organize the protests that expanded our rights and ended a senseless war. However, getting lost in this discussion is another, perhaps even more disturbing, revelation that came to light a few days prior to the PRISM leak. An order by the FISA court obtained by the Guardian demands that Verizon (and its subsidiary Verizon Wireless) hand over "comprehensive communication routing information'' for all of its customers, including for calls entirely within the United States, to the NSA on a continual, daily basis. This does not include the name and address of the customer, and this "anonymization'' is one of the ways that these broad collection orders make it through the court. However, the information does include the handset ID and cell tower IDs. Using a process known as trilateration, the location of the person making the call can be calculated.

Why is this important if they don't actually know who is making the call? According to a report published in Nature in March 2013, human mobility traces are highly unique. We all have our own fingerprint of sorts, and relatively few data points are required to uniquely identify an individual. Further, the world we live in today is awash with data. Numerous companies, such as Acxiom and Datalogix, compile massive datasets on consumer behavior. Built for marketing purposes, these databases correlate information from numerous sources to build profiles of individuals and their behavior. For example, Facebook now uses obfuscated versions of their users' email addresses and phone numbers to correlate with Datalogix to learn about your purchasing behavior, so now the companies can connect what ads you see on Facebook with what you buy in brick and mortar retail stores. Of course, this is all done for marketing and advertising, but these, and many other, databases are also available to the NSA, making it possible to potentially correlate rich identity information with location tracking from phone records. We live in the era of Big Data. Some of the world's top data scientists are gathering at two enormous new NSA facilities in Maryland and Utah to work with unprecedented volumes of data - Internet activity, phone records, realtime and historical data, government and commercially available data building profiles of individuals and looking for patterns, attempting to root out terrorists. I have no doubt that such information is valuable in identifying patterns that might look suspicious. It is also useful for other purposes. The real trouble is the complete lack of transparency and oversight of these programs. We are told that everything is done with Congressional oversight, yet members briefed on these programs are unable to talk about them outside of closed hearings due to their classified nature, making it effectively impossible for them to represent us. Democracy requires an informed citizenry to function properly. Transparency and accountability are essential to that goal. We must declassify surveillance programs conducted against American citizens and reopen debate on the Patriot Act so we can make an informed decision as a society on the proper balance ofliberty and security.


Our Sponsors are also our Members. Members Supporting Members! A Beautiful Life, Alhambra, Beach Hut Deli, Bidwell Perk, Bob Condos, Brauts & Beans, Butte Creek Country Club, Cabana Cafe, Christian

Michaels, Chocolate Falls, Chronic Tacos, Cutting Room Salon, Dream Maker Photography, Elite Sounds, Finnegan's Jug, For Elyse, Hotel Diamond, House of Bamboo, Impact Media, In Tents Events, Italian Cottage, Johnnie's, Kevin Looker, Kinders, Kona's Nord Avenue, Maisie Jane's, Mayhem Grilled Cheese, Mim's Bakery, Nance Eakins Photography, Oogolow Enterprises, Powder Room, Red One Photography, Snap Shots, Sol Mexican Grill, Sonrise Productions, Ubon Catering.


JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013




please drink responsibly!


JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013

Mon-Fri happy hour 11-2PM S2.SO Dom & Sierra

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR 52.2S Everyday!

3-6PM S3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM - close 58 Dom Pitcher 59 SN Pilcher 2 DOLLAR TUESDAY' 11AM-2PM S2.SO SN &

teams. Sign up with

bartender. Starts 7PM.

All ages until IOPM Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2 .2S Everyday!

2-close 52.SO wells & Dom Drafts 53.SO Dbl Wells & Kami shots

WING WEDNESDAY! 52 for 3 Wings 52.SO SN Pint All Day 8PM-Close S3.SO Jim Beam, Captain Morgan and Jameson

ll-2PM 52.50 Dom & Sierra Nevada Drafts

3-6PM 53.SO Dbl Wells 8-close

53 14oz Slushies 54 20oz Slushies Add shot for 51 5 flavors to choose from 54.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls

Mon-Fri 2-6PM 51.SO PBR or Coors Pints $2 Kami Shooters


Dom Drafts

53 14oz Slushies 54 20oz Slushies Add shot for 51 5 flavors to choose from S4.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls

S2 Kami Shooters

1/2 OFF POOL Pool League, 3 player

Nevada Drafts

Food & Drink specials!

Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints

GAME NIGHT! SI PBR all night All ages until IOPM Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM

Mon-Fri 2-6PM 51.SO PBR or Coors Pints

Full Bar in Back Room

S2 Kami Shooters

Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR 52.2S Everyday!

1/2 OFF POOL 8 Ball Tournament

Sign-up 6PM. Starts 7PM.

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR 52.2S Everyday'

Mon-Fri 2-6PM 51.SO PBR or Coors Pints 52 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL

$3 Soccer Moms


5S Smirnoff Blasters 5S DBL Roaring Vodka


ll-2PM 52.50 Dom &

All ages until IOPM Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM

Mon-Fri 2-6PM 51.SO PBR or Coors Pints

Sierra Nevada Drafts

Full Bar in Back Room

S2 Kami Shooters

3-6PM 53.SO Dbl Wells 8-Close 52.SO Dom & SN Drafts

Weds, Fri & Sal Nights! PBR 52.2S Everyday'

Open al llAM! Bloody Mary Bar Noon-6PM 58 Dom Pitcher 59 SN Pitcher 8PM-Close 56.SO DBL calls

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM

1/2 OFF POOL All ages until IOPM

Bartenders Choice

Full Bar in Back Room

Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR 52.2S Everyday!

9 Ball Tournament.

Sign-up at noon. Starts !PM .

All ages until IOPM IOAM-2PM SS Bottles of Champagne with entree

54.SO Bloody Mary 5S.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2.2S Everyday!

FREE POOL I hr. with every 58 purchase All ages until IOPM


~ Qetl g)> ~ :=i:i





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Happy Hour 11-6PM select bottles & drafts S2.7S


co CD

Go Downlo




S2 Marqis


MUG NIGHT 7-IUO 40oz beer S2.SO or S3 S3 Barenjager Shot


S2.SO Corona's

S6 Pulled pork sand w/

Bear Burger with fries

fries or salad

or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm SI Beer SI Wells S2 Doubles

S2 All Day


S3 Cuervo Marqis

Go Downlo

S2 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts S2 Kamis -any fhvor

BEAR WEAR' 1/2 off while wearing


Bear Wear.

S4 Dbl Jack Daniels


Honey Lemonade S3 Jose Cuervo Sunrise

Chicken Strip Sand only S6 before 6 PM

S4 Makers Mark

& Sierra Drafts

Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM SI Dom draft, S2 SN draft, SI.SO wells

S3 Tea of the Day and

Progressive Night!

Bartender Special

8-IOPM SI Sierra Pale Ale, Domestics, Rolling Rock & well cocktails



up IOPM-close 2S¢ per hour-close

Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM

Jr Grad Burger

w/ fries or

salad S3.99

All 16 oz Teas or AMF S3 All Day

Go Downlo

TRIKE RACES! Post time@ !Opm.


Win T-shirts and Bear

S4 Dbl Cherry Bourbon Dirty Shirley S3 5o Co & Coke


8-Close Pitcher Specials


S3 Tea of the Day S3.SO Sky Vodka Cocktails

8-IOPM Two for the Price of one cocktails and

FREE Pool after IOPM

menu items

Baby Back Ribs SI0.99 Philly Cheesesteak S7 8PM-Close S4 teas

Happy Hour 11-6PM S2.7S select bottles & drafts

!Opm S2 Red Bull Party

S216oz Wells

Drink specials!



Bear Burger with fries

S2 Select Beers S3 Teas

or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

S4 Dbl Gin & Tonic S2 Scotch & Soda S3 Malibu & Coke


S3 all teas S6 Sky Vodka and Redbull BUCK NIG HT 9PM-Close SI WELLS SI TEAS

S3 All pints S4 Long Island Teas

Happy Hour S-8PM SS House Martinis

Sl well cocktails, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling Rockdom draft S3 Guiness Drafts, S2 Black Butt e SS Vodka Redbull

S4 Glass of House Wine S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle SI off Call liquor and bottled beer

S3.SO !SI party punch S3 Fire Eater Shots S6.SO Apple Cinnamon Cider 8-9PM SI pale ale and dom draft

Happy Hour S-8PM SS House Martinis 54 Glass of House Wine

S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle SI off Call liquor and bottled beer

up 25C per hour until close

10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/

Free Happy Hour Food

Fries or Salad & Garlic

4PM until ifs gone

Bread S8.99 8pm-Close S4 Jager SS DBL Vodka Red Bull JO-Close

Happy Hour ll-6PM select wells, bottles and pints S2.7S

Jr Grad Burger

Buck Night 8-close

Drink specials!

VIP Bottle Service available


DRAG SHOW 9PM SS Dbl Vodka Rockstar S3 Hollywood S4 Dbl Raspberry Press

S3 Tea of the Day S4.SO DBL Captain Morgan Cocktails SS Vodka Redbull S4.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls

Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-Close S3 Pale Ale Drafts S9.7S Pale Pitchers S4.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls

S3 Tea of the Day S4.SO DBL Captain plus

Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM SI Dom draft, S2 SN draft, SI.SO wells, Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9-Close S3 Skyy Cocktails & Pale Ale Drafts S9.7S Pale Pitchers

w/ fries or

Happy Hour S-8PM SS House Martinis

S4 Glass of House Wine

S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle SI off Call liquor and bottled beer

salad S3.99 Baby Back Ribs with

S4 Sex On The Beach

Salad, Fries & garlic

S4 Sierra Nevada

Bread SI0.99 8pm-Close S4 Single/S6 Double Jack or Captain

Knightro ON TAP SI Jello Shots 7-!0PM S3 Rumpy, Jager and Fireball

SS Bartender's Choice SS

S4 World Famous Bloody Joe SS Premium bloodys

Call To Rent For Private


LIVE MUSIC S4 Dbl Whiskey Ginger S4 Dbl Gin & Tonic S3 Captain Morgan

Bartender Special

S4.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls

S2 Sierra Nevada

SS Patron S4.99 Grad, Garden/ turkey Burger w/ fries/ salad

your choice of vodka



Bear Burger with fries

Go Downlo

or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

Bloody Marys S3 Well S4 Call SS Top shelf S6 Grey Goose

8-lOpm BOGO! Two for the price of one on select cocktails & food Happy Hour Prices Until 8pm Now Open Mondays at 11:30am!

LIVE JAZZ 4PM TRIVIA 8PM S2.SO Mimosas & Bloody Marys S4 Dbl Cabin Fever (maple whiskey) & Coke S3 Hollywood


10am-2pm Every Sunday with purchase of an entree


S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle SI off Call liquor and bottled beer


Champagne Brunch

IOAM-2PM Happy Hour prices Iii 8

NOON-2pm Buy 1 get 1 half off select lunch menu! Champagne Brunch

Happy Hour S-8PM SS House Martinis S4 Glass of House Wine


' $100 FF . iPhone REPAIR & RESTORE Regular Rates $60-$90. No other discounts. Expires 7-20-2013




n fi



1304 Mangrove Ave. (Facing Papa Murphy's Pizza)


We pay CASH for o ld iPhones!

JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013




TUESDAY, JUNE 18rH ~ <lJininu ia t1te CT roJitioa of8outltem <;/talg

17 MONDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm. Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm. DownLo: Pool League - 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8- l 2pm. Maltese: Open Mic Night - Comedy. Signups @ 8, Starts @ 9. Mug Night 7-11:30pm. Woodstock's: Spelling Bee For the Grown Ups. 6:30-7:30pm.

18 TUESDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Bellydance class with BellySutra. 6-7pm. $8 Cafe Coda: Live music from The Parson Red Heads, The Sad Bastards and Erin Wolverton 8pm. $5. All ages. The Bear: Bear Wear! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. Mug Club 4-lOpm. Cafe Flo: Open Mic SingerSongwriter Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm. Crazy Horse Saloon: All-request karaoke. 21+. DownLo: DJ Dancing with DJ Ron Dare


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JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013


The Hub: Salsa Tuesdays. Intermediate lesson 7:15-8:15pm, $8. Beginners lesson 8:15-9pm, $5. Just dancing 9pm. $2 LaSalle's: '90s Night. 21 +. Maltese: Karaoke 9pm-Close. Sierra Nevada Big Room: Boston bluegrass artists Della Mae. 7:309:30pm. $17.50 Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke 8:30pm- lam. The Tackle Box: Karaoke 9pm. Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call @ 4pm on date to reserve a table. 6:30pm. Farm Star Pizza: Live jazz with Sigemi & Friends. 7-9pm.

Conductor/founder Matt Butler acts as a conduit between the audience and an ever-changing ensemble of musicians and live performers, drawn from a pool that has included members of The Grateful Dead, Phish, Moe, String Cheese Incident, ALO, Tea Leaf Green, Taj Mahal, Tuvan Throat Singers, painters, dancers, fire spinners, jugglers, stilt walkers, storytellers, and hundreds of others. Each show is an entirely unique improvisational experience. Tickets are $20. Doors open at 6pm, music at 7:30pm. There will be an optional full buffet dinner served before the show.

Showcase featuring The Blue Merles 7-9:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Swing Dance Wednesday. 8-lOpm Chico Women's Club: West African Dance with Imelda Mata. Live drumming. 5:30-7pm. $10. Chico Women's Club: Ecstatic Dance. Live music played by the TranceFormation Band. 7:15pm. DownLo: Live music with Max Minardi 9:30pm-midnight. 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6pm. Duffy's: Dance night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1 Feather Falls Casino: Dance Club. Dress to impress! 9:30pm. $5 cover includes one drink. LaSalle's: The Lolos gypsy funk, with The Well. 9pm. $3. lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Tackle Box: DJ Dancing with DJ El Mic. Singers, songwriters, musicians, Kora. 8pm. vocalists and comedians. All ages. VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The 7pm. Beach): Laurie Dana. 7-9pm. Sid Lewis' Acoustic College: Old Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Time Slow Jam hosted by Jim Meyers. Happy Hour. Call@ 4pm on date to 7-9pm reserve a table. 8pm. The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts Sierra Nevada Big Room: Everyone and Bear Bucks. Post time lOPm. Orchestra. A rotating cast of musiMug club 4- lOpm. cians feed off audience participation Cafe Flo: Way Out West Country to deliver a unique performance.


: :,

7:30-9:30pm. $20. King's Tavern: DJ Dancing. 9pm.

20 THURSDAY Cafe Coda: The Mondegreens, Ramona Skye and Birdy Fielder. 8pm. $5. All ages DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. Followed by Mark Sexton Trio. 8pm. Downtown Chico: Thursday Night Market: Acoustic music with Bob McDaniel, folk rock and blues with Kate Tansey and the Chico School of Rock KidFest. 6-9pm. Graduate: Red Bull Movie Night. lOpm. Grana: Live Jazz w/ John Seid 5:308:30pm. Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7- lOpm. Sign-ups start@ 6pm. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9pm. LaSalle's: Happy Hour on the patio: Still Not Dead Yet. 6-9pm. No cover. Maltese: Karaoke 9Pm-Close. Panama's: Eclectic Nights- Buck Night & DJ Eclectic spinning favorites of today and yesterday on the

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Everyone Orchestra

In typical Mary Goloff fashion, she's barging headlong into an attempt at terminating the contract with the Saturday morning Certified Farmers Market. If you have something to say, or a potential solution, a penchant for fist-shaking, or a really powerful anecdote, sign up before the city council meeting to have your voice heard. If youo rather just click "like" on somebody's outraged facebook post and feel like you're making a difference, by all means stay home. All day work session starts at 8:30am.


</M!t. </tafian.

City Council Meeting

Hours: Mon-Wed & Friday 11am-8pm @ Spike's Bottle Shop 1270 Ea st 1st Avenue 530.864.2760


' ' '( \: ,~ ·

•.............. ··-··-·· ........... ··-·· ··-··-·· ....




Surrogate &

KZFR Bocce Ball Tournament

The Shimmies



This event will feature a 16-team Bocce tournament as well as food and adult beverages. If team Boccerazzi isn't too hungover from the Jordhuga show they may swoop in to dominate the competition (because obviously that would be the outcome.) Make use of all the rockin' CRC facilities, including the hot tub (see pg. 17 for do's and don'ts) and the swimming pool. Bring a lawn chair and come support community radio! Teams can sign up in advance for $300, rubberneckers can pay $5 for the day, kids 12 and under are Free. Starts at lOam

They say you can learn a lot about someone by looking at their shoes, so it follows that heading down for some shoe-gazing indie/alt is a great way to look within and learn a little more about yourself. Join Chico's own Surrogate for this journey into the soul, followed by the original home-school harmonies of The Shimmies. And you're at Duffy's, home of the baseball Jesus and that sign with the freaky/awesome Pabst lady I can't stop staring at. Admission is just $5, Music starts at 9:30pm

• •• • ••• • •• • • • • • • • • • •• • •• • • • • • ••• • •• • ••• • •• • • •• • •• • • • • • •• patio. 9pm. Quackers: Karaoke Night with Andy. 9pm-lam. VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic Performance w/ Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No cover. Tortilla Flats: Karaoke 8pm-12am. Woodstock's: Open Mic Night. 9-11:30pm. Crazy Horse: Live country music with Aaron Rich & Friends. 9pm. The Hub: FAME Thursdays DJ Dancing. 9:30pm-1:30am. 21 +.No Cover. Chico Museum: Chico: our story in pictures, from the John Nope! collection Chico Theatre Company: Marvelous Wonderettes, a musical comedy featuring songs from the '50s. 7:30pm. Adults $20, Children 12 & under $12. Cafe Flo: Stoic- Didgeridoo and Handpan vibration soundscape. 8-lOpm.

21FRIDAY 1OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Writing Group. 3:30-Spm 1078 Gallery: Electro-Americana singer/songwriter Arthur Lee. Doors 7:30, show 8pm The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris.

9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP. Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. llam. Crazy Horse Saloon: DJ Hot Rod and Mechanical Bull contest. 9pm1:30am. Downtown Plaza: Friday Night Concert Series with Gravybrain- world funk fusion. Sponsored by Chico State Alumni Association, free kids art activities hosted by Chico Art Center. 7-8:30pm. Duffy's: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pm. Surrogate and The Shimmies, 9:30pm$5. Kelly's Tavern (Oroville): Karaoke with Mora Sounds. 7-llpm. LaSalle's: Farewell Lisa with DJ Marvel. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9pm. Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGBTQA + Dance Party. 9pm Lost On Main: Jordhuga Re-Union Show. 21+. 9pm. $10. Peeking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint - Electronic Dance Party with local and regional DJs. 9:30pm. $3-5. Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm. T-Bar: Live music 7-8:30pm.

Tackle Box: Live Music with Aces Up.9pm.$5. Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights. Espanol & English DJ dancing with DJ El Kora de Chico.

22 SATURDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting Circle. 2-4pm. 1078 Gallery: California Bleeding, Rodent Lord and Amigo the Devil. 8pm. $5. All ages. Cal Skate: Adults Only Skate Night. 9-11:30pm. $6. 18+ DownLo: Live music with MazAzul. 9pm. 9 Ball Tournament. Signups noon, starts 1pm. Farwood Bar & Grill (Orland): Cee Dub- acoustic variety. 8:30-10:30pm. LaSalle's: 1980NOW! 8pm. Park Avenue Pub: Live music with Max Minardi. 6:30-9pm. Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30pm- lam. Sierra Nevada Big Room: Garden Beer Dinner - four-course farm-totable meal. 7:30pm - 9:30pm. $50. Tackle Box: Live music with Jackson Michaelson. 9pm. $2 Pageant Theatre: Perception - short film by local Director Shawn Dyer. Shows at 3pm. $5

SPIKE'S BOTTLE ==SHOP== LARGEST selection of Spirits, Beer & Wine in Chico. 800+ beer varieties!

Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase Open Mic hosted by Rich and Kendall Cafe Coda: Dune June! Rock from The Pageant Dads, Cities, Yak Tooth and Baby Gurl. 8pm. $5. Crazy Horse: Ladies Night with DJ Dancing. 10pm-1:30am Gateway Science Museum: Summer Solstice Constellations. If you missed the late night star gazing the night before, come see the stars projected on the Education Station Ceiling. l-3pm

23 SUNDAY 1078 Gallery: Music Think Tank. Express your ideas for cultivating our art scene. 3pm. FREE. Crazy Horse Saloon: Sunday Funday comedy and popcorn. LaSalle's: Karaoke. 8pm. 5th Street Steakhouse: Holly Taylor & Eric Peter Jazz Duo. 6-9pm. DownLo: Live Rock from Box Knife Betty. 9pm Chico Raquet Club: KZFR's 8th annual Bocce Ball Tournament. Live Music, food, beverages and activities for the whole family. lOam. $5, kids under 12 are free.

Sierra Nevada 6 Packs

ONLY $5.49 12 Peck> $10.99 No other discounts ox 1... 7-20-2013


PROVE IT GET OUR ATTENTIONI We are looking for a talented, energetic, and eager desginer to join our intimate team.


ABOUT YOU You are awesome. You have mad design skills. CS Suite is your playground. You laugh at Comic Sans. You love the Internet. You're honest, reliable, well organized, savvy, loyal, fun to be around, etc

HOW TO APPLY Please email 1. Resume and ideally a link to an online portfolio or some websites that you've worked on. 2. Brief intro email stating why you feel this position is a good match for you.

1270 East 1st Ave. Chico • 893-8410 •


JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013

ts I


Deep in the Ocean I understand the urge to disappear completely; it feels like being an oyster, hiding in the water, behind doors of shell, sheltering in darkness as black as the goth kid's bedroom curtains. I happened upon a book at the library once, called Opium Fiend. The first chapter described an opium addict who made a living as a writer, and only contacted his associates through e-mail. He had created a lifestyle of almost total isolation. His living quarters were com prised of one seedy Beijing hotel room: a small studio, one bathroom, one window (boarded up). An opium kit was assembled on a table, in case a fix was needed. The narrative then depicted his attempt to quit the drug cold-turkey, which provoked 32 hours of pain, and vomit, and diarrhea, taking him up to and beyond his capacity to feel agony, until he finally ended it: he gave up the notion of quitting and smoked some opium. Blissful relief flooded needy veins. I only read the one chapter before I got scared by how... perversely attracted to the story I was. "I could get really into this;' I said to myself. "I wonder what opium would be like!" The book got put down and I was taken out of the library-by spirits wiser than myself. The author of Opium Fiend knew about that urge to disappear completely. I sometimes think of it also as a devotion to an inner world, seen only by oneself. There's privacy to allow something to grow in there, because no one else can see it, and the "something" is limited only by one's imagination. Soon



JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013

enough though, that which grows in the imagination seeks to manifest itself in reality, and one promptly finds oneself out in the world again, connecting with others once more ... while the little imaginary "something" sits, like a pearl, inside the pocket, whispering to the heart: "Go here. Go there. Talk to that one. Ask for that. Make me! I want to be real!" Thinking about the urge for isolation always reminds me of the ocean. Anything could be in there! It goes so deep ... "Maybe there's somewhere I can hide:' Cut to a few million years and a couple of planetary shifts later: my corpse having mummified in a deep-sea ditch somewhere, but ages later tossed up to the top of a mountain for every villager to see. "Has your privacy been invaded?" one may wonder. I may answer in return, "No. My ghost barely even thinks about that body anymore, and has become a lot less shy, besides:' I did actually try to hide in the ocean once, two years ago. I found a city down there, full of people and fish. Humans can breathe underwater, if you just go down deep enough; who knew? I really loved that place ... No one talked to me. You could hole up somewhere for days, and no one would think it strange at all. Everyone's really generous with their drugs. I got scared when I began to forget who I was; I was led out of that city-by spirits wiser than myself. [Talk to me on e-mail. Follow me on Tumblr.]




Balls McPhearson

ON THE T.o~v'N I' 'W

Hot Tub Sex Dear Balls, Hot tub sex. The water causes gross friction, but it's a fun and sexy place to want to do it. How the hell do you make it better?

probably now have herpes or some other fun disease because you said "forget the condom'' -like you even HAD one at the ready just sittin' on the edge of the tub. Fail. Who came before you? Hey Johnny, you think you're the first to think about <loin' it in that there tub?

You don't. Hot tub sex is lame. It sucks.

I know some people that won't so much as pee in a toilet that has been used, and here you are wantin' to frolic in some community chowder bowl. Ew.

It simply fails at

almost every crucial point that makes sex enjoyable. Sex on the beach makes for beautiful, romantic, lustful imagery... until you get sand all up in your parts. Hot tub sex is very much the same; a sexy theory, but a less-than-stellar outcome. Sure, the IDEA of hot tub sex is super hotbut let's break it down and expose hot tub sex for what it is: a bad idea and exercise in mediocrity. The moon is high (and so am I). For starters, you're probably under the influence of something, which means everything that goes into how you think and perform sexually is mildly retarded. It is a pretty safe assumption that not much forethought is going into your plans.

Just slip it in? Forget it. Water washes away all that nice slick natural lubricant. Sure she's wet, but not in the way that will help things. She will really appreciate the sensation of being rubbed raw with chlorinated water. You like pregnancy and/or diseases? No, the hot water does not instantly kill sperm. No, the chemicals in the water do not instantly kill sperm. Oh by the way, you

Quit being a downer. OK, it isn't all hate; there's some good as well. Hot tub time makes for great foreplay. Get handsy, rubby and kissy all you like. What do more females wish for from their partners than anything else? More foreplay. It will get her hotter, which will make for a more explosive session once you hop out and run into the house to take care of business right there on the couch.

Go ahead and try it-I'm never one to discourage a good time. But when you bend your dick in half and her labia (or whomever's butthole) gets turned inside out from the friction and you can't have sex for three days because everything hurts and you find out the cat peed on your clothes and they're canceling your favorite TV show and your phone is about to get shut off and has anyone seen my keys? Sorry. Got sidetracked. Enjoy the hot tub-have sex elsewhere-then hop back in to relax. Balls - out.


JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013





OFF MY LAWN! Jaime O'Neill

With Friends Like Those... One of many things I learned when I was a young man with a pregnant wife, was that there are people who get some sort of perverse pleasure by telling other people worrisome things about experiences they are facing. As my wife 's belly grew bigger, it became almost common for her to hear tales about other women who' d suffered through difficult deliveries. Sometimes the tellers of those tales were the women who ' d had those experiences, but more often the stories were second-hand accounts of people they' d known or heard about-women who 'd suffered and sometimes died doing the thing my wife was going to do within a few weeks. I was young and naive, and extremely puzzled as I tried to figure out why anyone would plant worry in someone's mind, or would try to increase apprehension in an expectant mother. But I've seen that kind of behavior countless times since then, and I can almost hear it coming when someone 's about to piss in someone else 's punchbowl; I can detect the change in their tone; I can hear the phony concern intended to mask the malevolence that motivates such people to tell their sorry stories. It's sugar-coated meanness, with an undercurrent of sadism. I have been blissfully free of surgical procedures over the course of my lifetime, but I did have my wisdom teeth removed a couple


JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013

of decades ago. When I mentioned my upcoming extraction to co-workers, a couple of them had stories about people they knew who had suffered dental horror stories. Ifl remember correctly, one such story involved a guy who died from an infection that followed the extraction of his wisdom teeth. Other stories involved post-op pain and suffering of gothic proportions. Not long ago, my daughter was talking with a "friend" who engaged in this same sort of anxiety-producing storytelling, sharing things that would have been far better left unsaid. When my kid told me about her heightened concerns, I asked what had gotten her upset. "My friend, (name withheld), told me about what had happened to her friend, (name withheld)." "Kelly," I told my beloved child, "(name withheld) is not your friend. " Human nature hasn't changed a whit since I learned that lesson back when my wife was pregnant. It's a lesson I'd share with anyone who might ask. If someone tells you an ugly story about an operation you 're about to have, or an experience you 're about to undergo, that person is not your friend. Or, at the very least, not a friend worth keeping.


SCENE REPORT by Danny Cohen, reporting from The Maltese




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June Gloom feat. Chris Keene, Lish Bills, The Sad Bastards, There Is No Mountain]

June 12 I The Maltese "Indie Rock" is a euphemism for weak, tepid drivel, espoused by seekers of a key-ring limelight. The Maltese is the go-to bar for this. I know all about 'indie' from opening cross-country for Bright Eyes. Conor Oberst drank a fifth nightly, got his tires slashed and tackled me gayly. North Carolina is the Indie Mecca of the East Coast as Portland is of the West. There Is No Mountain (formerly known as The Ascetic Junkies) hail from Portland, (at first I thought they were called There Is No Bouncer due to the P.A., which murked all the cutesy asides.) They didn't get the memo about the gloom motif, and proffered sprightly prog-fusion-pop with Yes-like noodling and inexplicable time changes that belied all rules of comprehensible composition. The Portland-faced scuzz-bearded male of the couple WAS a virtuoso, with the effects boxes to prove it. The gal sang like the "One Tin Soldier" hippie from Billy Jack (flat 'til the last song), but kept excellent time on a mini tom tom. She also had a mini keyboard (for the bridge of one song) and a mini Vox amp. She did a song called "When The Cat's Away" about her scuzzy partner staying at his mom's. And her pushing of their three CDs and the T-shirts ("just leave the money if you can't stay for the whole set") was interminable. I missed most of a solo Chris Keene opener as I had to listen to Dylan's platinum gloom and grab a burrito next door. Keene had to fly in a Portland drummer for his band.

Chris actually had the best set-his listless strumming and clear whining-alto take on Neil Young embodied the resignation aspect of gloom. "I don't have much energy;' Keene remarked. His songs of substance abuse weren't as apocalyptic as the Randy Newman closer: "They all hate us anyhow, so let's drop the big one now:' Lish Bills was even more lifeless, looking like Bud Cort and Quicksilver's John Cippolina There Is No Mountain had a baby. "All your friends are Satan ... might as well fry some eggs and bacon:' His voice cracks and goes up an octave at the same time, giving him a signature style. I'd seen him at another Maltese fest, with a twit singing about sticking his finger in various orifices and smelling it, after which a girl sang "I smell dick'' to the "sausage fest:'



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The Sad Bastards broke with the mid-tempo dirging, but the stupification continued. I felt as though rn been given a massive dose of propofol, despite their Mighty Wind meets Dan Hicks approach: "Tell me all your dreams in the morning, tell me all your fears at night:' The audience ate it up, the most depressing thing of all. "This FUCKING GUITAR!!. .. I'm just kidding around ... FUCK!" The German birthday-boy frontman tried to wriggle out of the faux pas, then lost it. His prized L-30 archtop did sound like shit (probably a cheap pick-up). They all sang flat to the violin, and yawned. It was contagious. Someone saw the gloom I hadn't come in with and bought me another sour Pabst.


JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013




"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places?' (Ephesians 6:12) Visualizing what happened before the meteor hit the atmosphere is difficult in the extreme. Supernatural beings are invisible to the human eye in their normal state. There are however, thousands, if not millions, of reports of paranormal beings-both good and bad-who have assumed corporeal identities. If human witnesses are to be believed, they can appear and disappear at will, assume virtually any shape, and reveal themselves as beings the size of tall buildings or microscopic imps. Questions about where these spectral creatures live, what they eat, or how they entertain themselves when not engaged in their struggle to influence humanity have hitherto not been extensively researched.

Pleasing the boss was far more than vitally important. The Meteor hadn't been given any front-line work for eons. His involvement in the platypus scandal had been a disaster. Consequently, he had been reassigned to the mailroomthe pro-forma punishment for failure in an unforgiving bureaucratic institution, previous brilliant successes notwithstanding. He could scarcely remember his former beauty. 10,000 years as a backroom kiss-ass bureaucrat had reduced him to a graying shadow of his former self. So it was no wonder that the Meteor was more than happy. He was fiendishly happy. He was ecstatically happy. He was insanely happy. In a matter of moments, his windowless cubicle would be history, and the Luckiest Man in the World was going to be more than killed, more than torn limb from limb, more than pulverized, more than obliterated, more than vaporized. He was going to be erased so completely and obviously that there could be no doubt that he would go down in history as the unluckiest man who had ever lived. He would be the only human being in recorded history to sustain a direct hit by a meteor no larger than a basketball. The meteor's boss would be pleased.



JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013


luckiest inan~ 路the world

Since it was of vital importance that no other human being would be killed, possible impact points had been carefully chosen. Because timing was also critical, the Meteor was prepared to act quickly when the ideal situation presented itself. Consequently, he was ready when the Luckiest Man in the World left the Safeway parking lot on Highway 32 at exactly 10:51.572 seconds that Sunday morning. His road home, following the Nord Highway turnoff, took him through a long stretch of uninhabited orchards and grazing land. Presently, there was no one within three miles of him on that road. Not only was the terrain ideal, the day was perfect. It was Easter Sunday. When one considered the big picture, the story of the Luckiest Man was a minor anomaly. While it was true that he had been featured in the Community News section of the Enterprise Record, his notoriety had remained local. The reporter assigned to cover human-interest stories interviewed Bob after his return from Ecuador while he was recovering from malaria in the local hospital. It was the reporter who supplied the headline, "The Luckiest Man in the World'~ after Bob's response to the reporter's question: "What do you make of the fact that you were the only one in your group of volunteers who contracted malaria while you were building the medical clinic? Are you just unlucky or what?" Bob's response was categorical. "I am the lucky one. The villagers and medical team that saved my life are now part of my family. Their love and concern helped me realize that my life was important in the great scheme of things?' When the reporter interviewed Bob's wife, she informed him that Bob regarded good fortune as a godsend, something to be expected. "Luck" for him was the product of the many misfortunes and tragedies of his life. The reporter, sensing an unusual human-interest story, asked Bob for a second interview. He agreed. Looking like he could be Ron Howard's brother, with a smile that was slightly uncomfortable, a black-and-white photo of Bob accompanied the following story:

"Bob is fifty-two and never claimed that the tragedies, misfortunes, and irritations of life didn't test his resolve to take away something positive from those experiences. He is no Pollyanna. He considers himself a realist, an average guy trying to become a better person. "When Bob was three, the thumb and second finger of his right hand were severely burned when he reached into his mother's mangle while she was ironing clothes. To compound the injury to his hand, his distraught mother slammed the car door on the same hand in her hurry to get him to the hospital's emergency room. During his recovery, his mother read to him. The story of Oliver Twist not only inspired him to be brave, but also fostered a lifelong love ofliterature. "He became a social outcast at the age of six when he skipped the second grade and found himself in a classroom of eight-year-olds. That experience taught him to be self-sufficient and truly grateful for friendship. In the fourth grade, he was actively persecuted for his na"ivete. In addition to being made fun of, he was regularly assaulted physically. On one occasion when he was swinging on the monkey bars, one of the girls pushed him so hard that he fell and broke his wrist. As a result, the torture ended and his classmates wrote 'get well soon' on his cast. "When Bob was ten, he realized that his family was poor. He noticed this for the first time when he realized that his and his brother's Christmas packages contained only new clothes. This knowledge made him grateful for what he had, and inspired him to befriend those less fortunate than he was. At twelve he realized that his parents didn't like each other, and their constant verbal-and occasionally physical-conflict might well end in divorce. This potential end of comfort and security allowed him to discover books, rather than alcohol or drugs, as an antidote for despair. "The school bullies beat him up regularly when he was fourteen. As a result his mother paid for boxing lessons, and he learned to defend himself physically. At fifteen-


when all his classmates were dating and could drive-Bob got a job, learned study skills, and took his trumpet lessons seriously. Consequently, he gained the satisfaction of earning his own money and making good grades. In addition he played first-chair trumpet in the school band and won numerous talent shows.


"Bob fell in love when he was eighteen. When the girl rejected his advances because her girlfriends convinced her that she could do better, he was 'discovered' by a beautiful girl who fell in love with him, body and soul. She was the girl of his dreams, and they have been happily married for forty-one years.

Lila Downs Pecados y Milagros Sony Records

"He considered himself 'lucky' to have been able to look after his mother when she was dying of cancer and to have taken care of his father who was suffering from Alzheimer's disease. When an unscrupulous building contractor cheated Bob out of thousands of dollars and a trusted employee embezzled enough of his money to nearly bankrupt him, he claimed that the lessons he learned were worth the price he paid. "Bob freely admits that manufacturing 'luck' from these tragedies, misfortunes and irritations is a continuing challenge. Learning from his mistakes is also difficult. He continues to back into things when he is driving his car. He misspeaks. He absentmindedly forgets to close his garage door at night. In short, staying 'lucky' is a tough grind. But he is still 'hanging in there'?' The Meteor was out to ruin Bob's reputation. In his own rather insignificant way, Bob represented something reprehensible to the evil force that was battling to control the world. When Bob's heretical notion led him to be labeled "The Luckiest Man in the World;' the headline came to the attention of what was now the Meteor, and suggested a plan he hoped would get him out from behind his desk. Even though the paperwork was a pain, and the resources to accomplish the mission were in short supply and expensive, centuries of supplication and pleading finally won the day. He was just minutes from making officer grade.

by Jaime O'Neill

Because I know very little Spanish, I'm not the best source of information about Lila Downs: the extraordinary Mexican-American singer whose rich voice and fierce love of the traditions of Mexico is a cultural asset on both sides of the border. Nonetheless, and though I am missing out on a good deal of what her latest album offers, it's still richer in delight than most albums where the entire experience is accessible. One of the best nights of live music I ever experienced was a few years ago when I saw the remarkable Ms. Downs perform at U.C. Davis in a show that was culturally vital,

visually exciting, and musically perfect. To say she was amazing is to say too little; if you haven't heard of her, you owe it to yourself to fill that gap in your knowledge. She's a marvel, with an extraordinary vocal range and a degree of vocal control that can surprise even a jaded music aficionado. She's also sexy as hell. On Pescados y Milagros, she delivers the goods: a cornucopia of color and heritage and vocal embellishments that make the music of Mexico come alive, even for those of us who often may not understand every word she sings. The emotions are universal, however, and require no translation.

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JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013









Keep on moving forward Try to drum up support from siblings and friends from high school and college. You are restless about travel, yet you need to make a positive home for yourself. On Thursday at 10:04 PM PDT the sun moves into Cancer and your fourth house. The focus is on parents, your ancestry; and the people who you consider to be a part of your tribe. Friday and Saturday look good for travel and are lucky days for you. Honor your comfort zones.

This is your last full and free week before Mercury's retrograde sinks in for several weeks beginning next week. Get as much done as you can now while you still have the power of the sun in your sign. On Thursday evening the sun moves into your second house, where values and self-image take precedence. Early Sunday morning there will be a full moon in your house of transformation. Issues regarding finances need to be taken in stride.

Consequences to our actions often seem to catch up with us. Getting to the root of any situation or problem is easier when you quiet your mind, pray or meditate. We experience karma with the people we love, with the things we've said and the situations that make us feel isolated or alone. Focus on your spiritual life. Thank all the people you've known who have helped you in life. The full moon urges you to be a team player and to take care of the health of yourself and others.

The week begins with the moon in Libra. Thieves often justify their actions during a Libra moon as if they were like Robin Hood, setting the world back to balance. If you need something, ask for it; don't sneak around You will have many more responsibilities during the next several weeks. Career advances are likely after Thursday through the next five weeks. Form a good strategic plan. Be the kind ofleader that you would like to follow. The full moon heightens family memories.

This has been a year of contracts, partnerships and alliances. Much of what you have worked for is coming to fruition. Once in a partnership or a marriage, unexpected things can happen that are out of our hands. Being able to let go of being in control and to ask for help when you need it is essential. The moon will be in Sagittarius Friday and Saturday. Get your game on and state your needs. The full moon will bring up finances, songs and the pleasure of good food.

Getting what you want can turn into a curse. Serving other people's needs has its advantages. Whenever you are doing good, you become more attractive to others. This might be a good time for you to house-sit or to help a friend with their property. Getting into debt can be dangerous. Sometimes hard work will keep us away from being tempted to spend too much. The full moon highlights your personal karma, your intuition and perhaps the pleasures of the bed.







Speak the truth. You seem to know what needs to be said. Your focus changes from economics to personalities, from possessions to communication, and from values to new information. You're able to improve many of your interpersonal relationships. Curiosity is on the rise. You are about to learn more. Relationship issues need to be discussed This could be a time to make it or break it. Wednesday and Thursday are best for travel. Sunday has elements of fun and playfulness.

A super week of transformation, beauty; challenges and consciousness lies ahead of you. The week starts off sensitive and reflective. By Wednesday a creative vibe takes over and by Thursday night your mojo will be fully restored as the sun moves into Cancer. Clean up your karma to make a fresh start. Forgive and ask to be forgiven. The full moon brings partnership, harmony and being grounded while urging foundational changes. Are you ready?

Much of the last several weeks of work, career and public appearances will ease up. Helpful friends show up when you need them most. Keep on doing the things that need to be done. Love is in the air and you can't help but flirt a little. Focus on what feels right for you. Do things that your future self will thank you for. The full moon will help you with creative breakthroughs. Some free time will be gifted to you. This is a great time to make new friends.

Transformation eventually leads to good fortune. Hanging in there and weathering the storm is good for the soul. Challenges that you face are making you a more mature and reliable person. You are hungry to manifest good things. The moon will be in Scorpio Wednesday and Thursday. Your influence is strong on these days. Get ready to make a positive breakthrough. The full moon highlights siblings, communication and enjoying your local environment.

Hard work is paying off and soon you'll get a chance to relax some

Encouragement is what most of us need from time to time. It's time to use that brilliant imagination of yours to create some amazing art. Let your art help serve others and benefit charitable causes. Be ready for fun and playfulness. The past is history; the future is a mystery and the present is a gift. The full moon will allow you to appreciate friends and to get out and socialize more often. This is also a good week to travel as well as to learn new things.

more. Romance begins to get easier this week. The rest of the world is beginning to share some of your insights. Who are the people around you that youCl like to make alliances with? Seek the people who bring out the best in you. The full moon will be in your sign, making it easier for you on Sunday to know who your real friends are. Create a better vision for your future while creating meaningful relationships.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Michelle Miller 6/23/64 and Pearl Di Genova 6/23/90 Koz McKev is on You Tube, on cable 11 BCTV, is heard on 90.lFM KZFR Chico, and also available by appointment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail

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JUNE 17 - JUNE 23, 2013

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Synthesis Weekly June 17-23, 2013  
Synthesis Weekly June 17-23, 2013  

Vol. 19 Issue 42 Jordhuga - Hot Tub Sex - NSA