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GIDDYUP It seems like Band of Horses is everybody's favorite band, and guess what? Your favorite band is coming to town. Jeremy Gerrard cracks the cranium oflead singer/ songwriter Ben Bridwell in the Synthesis preview of their April 16th show at the Senator. Bridwell talks about ghosts and cites Dinosaur Jr. as one of many influences. It's going to totally blow all your hipster minds.




KNIGHT OF WANDS If you've been following along, welcome to the next episode of Knight of Wands. Graveyard adventures, witches, virgins, stabbings, itchy arms, gooey dead bodies, magic and mystery- what doesn't Justin Ferrin's fantasy adventure serial have to offer? If you're late to the party, don't worry, they're still available online at Get some.





16 17


po-lar-ize: to divide into sharply opposing factions, political groups, etc. I learned something last week. I learned that a lot of people in Chico have the same sense of humor that I do, and I learned that a lot of people don't read things before slapping down their opinions. Just a few words setting up our April Fool's joke on the Life in Chico Facebook page sent a ton of people in a swirling tailspin of hatred, intolerance, and vehement negativity. They launched their opinions like Angry Birds over the interwebs, assholes aflame with anger about nothing. Don't get me wrong; it's not the presence of opinion. It's the lazy way they go about forming it. So bollocks to those guys, they look super dumb, and hurray for the people that read it, you're thumbs up in my book. Jokes rule! Speaking of big jokes, Toby Schindelbeck petitioned the City Council to consider a resolution supporting the 2nd Amendment last week. And much like Schindelbeck's run for council, the majority told him to stick it. Dan Kelley - a retired old police so & so - even pulled a rockin' grandstand move in front of the council, asking everybody to rise in support of the 2nd Amendment and then promptly patting himself on the back for his ability to command a room before he went back to mumbling incoherently. But rather than allow themselves to be backed into the polarizing corner of doom, where you either side with the granted constitutional right of the people to bear arms or you're a goddamned freedom -hating communist, Vice Mayor (and possible living incarnation of King Tut) Scott Gruendl offered up an elegant solution. "I've taken the oath of office nine times .. .! think our affirmation of our oath of office is something that we are confronted with on a regular basis and the 2nd Amendment is part of that, but it's not the only part of that;' he said. "I appreciate the request that is before us today but it's more than just the 2nd Amendment, so I would move that we reaffirm our oath of office but that we<l reaffirm our oath of office in its entirety, to protect the constitution and ALL of its amendments:' Then, Ann Schwab and her jaunty scarf seconded Vice Mayor Gruendl's proposal. Everybody hear hear'ed it, and the motion to ignore Toby Schindelbeck was passed. May he go quietly into the night. Note: I misspelled Councilmember Sporkensen's name last week. I appreciate the email correction and his super great sense of humor.

This week the Synthesis is taking it to the street. Jen Cartier says, "Chico has great style;' and we agree. We want to check out your face, your outfit, and find out what makes your style so fresh.


APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013




Re: Wireless Wanderers, April 1st issue Of course. Thank you. Onion-esque satire is always welcome (or was in pre-0 days, when they had balls). Obert Quinn, via Well played Bryan Fox, via Facebook (Life In Chico) It's interesting how many people will comment on something without actually reading the article. Tina Karr Glover, via Facebook (Life In Chico) Typical Synthesis, always publishing mindless idiotic stories. Don't give the City Council more attention. Brooke Johnson, via Facebook (Life In Chico) best non quote "These people need our help, not our condemnation and intolerance;' councilmember Tami Ritter would have said, had she responded to our request for commenf'. Daniel Klevesahl, via Facebook (Life In Chico) Is this what qualifies for humor in the new" family friendly" Synthesis? Pathetic. Renee Waiti, via Facebook (Life In Chico) my initial reaction was to yell 'what the f-bomb?!; this was the only thing to kind of get me today. good job. Kitty Holt, via Facebook (Life In Chico) Sara: OK ... Pretty funny;-) Well done. One minor error, Sorenson should have been spelled Sorensen ... I just love the ending "For more information, and to see if you qualify for a free iPad, call 530-894-2300".... Using the CN&R's phone number is just priceless;-) I wonder how many calls they got? Mark (Chico City Councilmember Mark Sorensen) via email Thanks for putting CN&R's phone number at the end of your article! We'll be sure to forward all five of your readers to your office's number. Melissa Daugherty (Managing Editor, Chico News and Review) via Facebook (Synthesis Weekly)

Re: No Teacher Left Behind, April 1st issue I demand to know the true identity of this commie! He must be brought before the Commission for the Preservation of Inequality for State Sponsored Educators (PISSED)! Actually, I just want to buy him/her a drink. :) Nice work. Matt Olson via

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For 19 years The Synthesis goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett


EDITOR Nolan Ford nolan@synthesis .net

DESIGNERS Michaela Warthen Paige Cloke Tanner Ulsh

DELIVERIES Joey Murphy Molly Roberts

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Bryan Lex, Danny Cohen, David Neuschatz, Dillon Carroll, Evan Billman, Guy Starvist, Howl, Jack Knight, Jen Cartier, Josie Hall, Jeremy Gerrard, Kenneth Kelly, Koz McKev, Ky Junkins, Matt Olson, Molly Lex, Ryan Hawkley, Steve Swim, Tommy Diestel

DOWN 1. 'Slow


4. Performed on Letterman 'The

Hands of Time'

3. Nominated for Best _ _Album Grammy

7. Bridwell's previous band, Carissa's 5. Toured for first time in South in 2012 9.

syn thesis

All the Time

PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

CALENDAR Bethany Johnson


10. Infinite

6. In soundtrack of Twilight Saga: Eclipse, 'Life on _ _'

Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis .net

12. Opened for Iron and _ _

8. Band of


13. Covered Cee Le's '_ _

11. Formed in

15. Formed by former member Mat Brooke, Grand _ _

14. 2010 nominated

Ben Kirby

16. Opened for Snow _ _ 17. Music video for this song premiered exclusively on IMDb 18. Cease to

Crossword created by Bethany Johnson



OWNER Bill Fishkin The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and our law!). All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708



APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013



Pulling On Superman's Cape There are probably more professional dancers than there are professional singers. Trish told me that tonight, and I believe her. She proposed to me that many, many more people should be instructed in the art of dance. I agree with that too. Her argument involves employment opportunities, but I am more of the opinion that wea all benefit from being able to move fluidly with grace, poise, and balance. Most of us have to drink plenty to get there but that approach comes with its own penalties and drawbacks. We live across from the Masonic Temple. There's nothing too impressive or unusual about that. I lived above a Masonic Lodge when I was down south. My roommate was working on learning how to roller-blade down in the Mason's parking lot when he lost control, ended up careening into a wall, and then pitched over it. That would have probably been bad enough - he ended up laid out on his back in the gravel - but then the wall toppled over and smashed up his face. The wall bordering the parking lot of an esoteric group of stone workers fell over onto my friend's face. As terrible as that was for him, that has always struck me as really funny.

The grass is eight feet tall and this pattern of rain-sun-rain-sunrepeat is making it so you can sit and watch that grass grow at a rate of nearly six inches per hour. The television's reception right now is about to drive me off of my rocker. I've almost had it. The local weather-person is at it again, anthropomorphizing the goddamn weather. It isn't "good weather;' or "bad weather," it's just weather. Tell me the temperature; tell me if it's going to rain. I'm not interested in the editorial comments on the weather's relative aesthetic qualities. Anyway, we've had so little rain this winter, and now spring, that it's hard for me to understand how anyone classifies dry weather as "good:' It's California, and it's a weird night. I really don't know what's going on. My teeth ache, David Letterman is lambasting the government, and I'm drinking a wine that could generously be described as, "smells like feet:' It's not that bad. I mean, I've had a lot worse. Overall I'm feeling pretty good, maybe even a five on a scale of ten. In a roundabout way I'm trying to say "don't mess around with the Masons:' We're witnessing the results of going toe-to-toe with them, and it's not pretty. We're not directly involved -


we're smarter than that. My friend whose face got smashed didn't sue the Masons because he's a smart guy. Don't poke a sleeping dog with a stick. Not everyone understands this. I'm afraid there are those of us out here that never got enough attention as a kid, and any attention we did get was negative. This makes for puzzling, drama-loving adults - the kind of people who will go ahead and poke a sleeping dog in the belly, or pick a fight with the Masons.

APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013


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Winter 2013 was the ''Apocalypse Issue:' In it, I found handy tips on purposefully aging canned goods years past their expiration dates to achieve new and exciting flavor characteristics, how to make Canadian Spam, and Ted Nugent's take on the type of person best suited for post-apocalypse survival. "He is a man's man with an indefatigable gung-ho warrior attitude ... six foot, two inches ... an expert with all weaponry... known for writing the ultimate love song of all time. Think "Wang Dang Sweet Poon tang." Well, then. Some people are still obsessed with fantasies of a zombie apocalypse, but more important than that is the sad, yet somehow intriguing reality that we are in the midst of global extinctions that many of us prefer to ignore. In Peter Meehan's Lucky Peach article, "Seafarming at The End of The World;' he talks to a new kind of seaman (not semen, you pervs) about strategies for vertical oyster

farming, kelp production, and sustainability. One of the first things to die off in the ocean when temperatures rise are the oysters. They are also an indicator species for healthy ocean habitats. Wild oysters are becoming a thing of the past. They're dying out in droves. It's not only oysters. My fish guy told me I couldn't get anchovies for my last Supper Club because, "they're just not catching Guess what makes that happen? Warmer water temperatures. I was forced to use capers in mycaesar dressing for some semblance of that anchovy flavor, and fried smelt for another application I would have preferred that signature anchovy flavor for.


Are we the real zombies? Ruining our environment because our ravenous appetites won't allow us to stop, even if we lose our souls and a few limbs as we ramble through life's alleyways scumming for sustenance? Who cares? Those of us who have a heart connection to food (my heart is actually made of duck confit) and who believe in preservation of species for the benefit of the earth and our hedonistic desires care. I want bees to survive for the sake of the plants they pollinate, and because I want to eat. I want to enjoy their sweet honey. I want fruit, almonds, tomatoes - all those things bees pollinate. And I want them to buzz around my yard reminding me of the way things all work together, until the cows come home.



Candy Crushing It! I think if someone were to do an analysis of all the columns I've written for Synthesis in the last five years, the most frequently occurring topics would be pillow forts, whiskey, and my incapacitating seasonal allergies. I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but you guys; they're really, really bad. As in, call-into-work-sick bad. Last week, after spending the night sweating out Daiya Mac &Cheese with Tapatio and sneezing approximately every 15 seconds, I found myself waking up with eyes almost swollen shut and my voice nearly gone. I had the face of Norman Reedus after being stung in the eyes by jellyfish, and the voice of Kathleen Turner after a bender. I don't know if this season is especially awful, or I'm just getting whinier by the day (which is entirely possible). I spent the day in a Benadrylinduced coma, only surfacing to fumble my way to the bathroom and then collapse back in bed. In any case, when seasonal afilictions get you down it's a good idea to focus on the positive, like antihistamines being sold on campus for a fraction of the price, or the return of Game of Thrones. I watched the season premiere last night. Was I the only one who felt like nothing substantial happened? I know there were a lot of characters to catch up with, but really the only entertaining part came during Daenerys' storyline. I'm confident the season will pick up quickly, but in case you're like me and want some more GoT news sooner than later, Geekologie is reporting that HBO has licensed the rights to a Game of Thrones-themed beer.

They've gifted this to the Ommegang Brewery in upstate New York and have announced that the beer will have flavors of pils, honey, aroma malts, red wheat, grains of paradise, lemon peel, and will boast 6.5% alcohol by volume. Personally I'm hoping they release a Khal Drogo Dark Ale that's full-bodied and aggressive, or a Joffrey Pale Ale that tastes like Pabst mixed with Zima and, has people storming the streets demanding its recall. In other beer news, there is now a beer pong arcade game with real red cups, real ping pong ball and ... no beer. Yeah, I know, I don't get it either. Foodbeast reports: "It's called Beer Pong Master, and it's made by the dudes at Bay Tek Games. It's all very fluid - swipe a credit card or insert a coin, pick 1-4 players, and be on your way. Normal beer pong mechanics are in play here, but you have a set amount of time to sink as many balls in the still-lit cups as possible:' I don't know about you guys, but I feel no desire to play this game. However, I never really felt any strong push to play the game in real life either, so maybe I'm just not the target demographic. I'll stick to drinking wine out of a sippy cup and playing Candy Crush on my phone. (Seriously, I can't stop playing Candy Crush).

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APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013


Listening to Band of Horses will make you hip, but they aren't just for hipsters. They're for anyone who appreciates the subtleties of musical freshness. Their lyrics are provocative without being overly cerebral, and their music balances effortlessly on the side of simplicity; they're genuine, not dramatic. That's why millions of people have proudly pledged their allegiance. With venues like the Fillmore, the Fox Theater, Ryman Auditorium, Coachella, and Jazz Fest becoming familiar sites of packed audiences, the Carolina-based five-piece shows every sign of more success to come. Less than ten years ago Band of Horses released their first album, which was followed by the unforgettable Cease to Begin. The first two records were like beautiful strangers you swore you'd met before. Infinite Arms then followed in 2010 to widespread critical acclaim. Released just this past fall, Mirage Rock represents the band's fourth studio record, produced by the well-known Glyn Johns (much to the chagrin of some BOH faithfuls). Although it has yet to reach the acclaim of its predecessor, Mirage Rock has been receiving global attention, and this big band will be stopping in little Chico on Wednesday to pro-

I a

APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013

mote it. Lead singer/songwriter, Ben Bridwell, graciously spoke with Synthesis in prep for the show. The interview takes you behind the mind of the man who stands at the front of Band of Horses.

around who those people are; sometimes even within the same song. But particularly that song, I think the "you" there could be the listener. But sometimes - and it might be the case here - the "you" is me and I just don't want to say'T' Anything you want to add about that interchangeability of pronoun reference? Honestly, sometimes it's phonetic garbage that just sustains the meter of the song, and sometimes it's totally deliberate. I might seem like I'm trying to complicate this, but I really don't understand it myself and I'm kinda glad I don't. It's okay not to understand things. Then I'm doing great! What song would most appropriately be played at your own funeral? Man, that is tough! Well, I'd say "Happy Birthday:' I like going with the opposite.

(Author's note: the smoothness of the conversation and the modest authenticity of Bridwell's responses are impossible to capture here; it was surreal and I wanted to give him a hug.)

Let's start at the beginning; "The Funeral:' Who's the "you" in "I'm coming up only to hold 'you' under:'? I tend to substitute 'T' and "you" and "we,, and "us,,, and so on, and I think I tend to dance

Fast-forwarding a little, let's target "Older" from Infinite Arms. Can you remember the catalyst for that song? Dude! Actually, Ryan Monroe - our keyboardist, guitarist, badass extraordinaire - wrote that song. I think about that song often. I'm glad I don't know the catalyst for it though, so I can't ruin this one for you. Let's talk about ghosts. They're mentioned a few different times on Cease to Begin. Well, "Is There a Ghost?" goes back to when I was


doing home recording, and I tend to get this paranoia or hypersensitivity when I'm writing and recording a song. The slightest noise will set me off. But anyway, the ghost there is actually my icemaker. With "No One's Gonna Love You;' I think that's just the kind of person or thing or memory that haunts you through time.

Archers of Loaf in there. I cut my teeth on those as a teenager. That's in my bones just as much as Neil Young and the Rolling Stones. And even the solo stuff of Ronnie Lane (Faces). But I could really only hit the tip of the iceberg ifI told you all the artists I borrow from .

Into the present now, Mirage Rock seems more nonchalant than usual. I don't mean that in a bad way really. Am I right, and what caused that to happen? Absolutely. There's a lot of reasons, but I think it's a combination of bringing in Glyn Johns and because we didn't have time to overthink it and over-edit. It was a liberating process, for better or worse.

"There's still some dysfunction just

Do you believe in ghosts? I've never seen one, but it's hard for me to say that something does or does not exist. I've personally never had an encounter, but I wouldn't rule it out, that's for sure.

like any band, but it works for us. There's lots of love now, and that makes it more fun."

What strides do you believe you and the band have made as you approach your tenth year? Listening and watching some of our really early performances, I was still struggling to find my voice. There was some amateur shit going on that kinda makes me cringe to revisit it. I think the most major strides are in the musicianship of the band, but more importantly in the overall vibe. You know, bands have to become a family and all that cliche shit, but in our family there's so much love involved that problems and egos are easily fixed. There's still some dysfunction just like any band, but it works for us. There's lots oflove now, and that makes it more fun. Can you explain how you eventually "found your voice?" Totally! Reverb [laughs]. Reverb and delay. Same thing with guitar playing. I was so nervous, and I'd never sung or written songs prior to Band of Horses, so those effects aided my lack of talent and really gave me a security blanket to go out and do it. And when the crowds responded well, that kind of shaped the sound of the band. It lead to atmospheric stuff, which probably lead to songs like "The Funeral:' Considering your musical life to the present, who are the influences that we don't know about? Who are the ones that we can't pick out easily? Oh great question, man. I hear 'em all the time. There's plenty ofDinosour Jr., Pavement, Grandaddy, and

Now that you've gone through different approaches to recording, how do you envision the production process of the next LP? I would imagine doing something different from what we did with Glyn. I don't want it to be too easy. I'd like to have the option of overthinking and over-editing, if possible. I'd like to have someone there to blow the whistle, so to speak. I don't think producing it ourselves is the direction we'd go in, but it's too early to speak out loud about it. I fear the repercussions. Lastly, what song do you wish you'd written? There's a million of 'em. But a song I totally adore? How about "These Arms of Mine"? Love it. Band of Horses will perform alongside support act The Olms next Tuesday, April 16th at the Senator Theatre. If tickets haven't sold out yet, they can be purchased in advance for $27.50 at The show starts at BPM and welcomes fans of all ages.

Now what about your non-musical influences? What shapes your music that isn't already music? Ah, great one. I'd say conversations, definitely-my wife, someone at the grocery store, and certainly Ryan Monroe and best friend Chris Williams. Anybody, really. Conversations, man.


by Jeremy Gerrard

APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013



Part III of IV Story by Justin Ferrin Art by Nik Burman

"It's freezing out here and my parents must be freaking out, can't the bodies wait?" I look over at Jessica who 's shivering her ass off in a cotton T-shirt and running shorts. At the very least, I should take her back to my car. "Alright, let's go." I drape my jacket over her shoulders and we start walking out of the cemetery.

"Says Miss Teen California. You've aged well. What's your secret, Elyse?" I assumed that the older woman was my mark, not the scarred girl on the ground. Looks like I shot the wrong woman back there. "Oh, you know. Wheatgrass shots, yoga, blood of the innocent," she states wryly. "The Bathory approach, I should've known."

"What's your name?" Her voice is still a little shaky, but it sounds more like chills than fear.

"How will you complete the ritual, seeing as how I shot your virgin?" I ask, attempting to fish for information. She laughs, 'Thanks for the offer but I already have one lined up, Brandon." Damn, I walked into that one. "Then who did I shoot?" "That was my apprentice. She was doing repairs to Virgil 's body. The proper preparation makes a resurrection go so much smoother." She grabs me by the shirt and spins me around, walking back toward the bodies.

"Brandon," I reply as we pass a five-foot obelisk. "Good thing I shot her." "Thank you again, Brandon." "You're welcome. Mind walking a little faster? The sooner I bum these bodies, the sooner I'll get you home."

"It certainly is. She didn't know it, but her death was needed to complete the spell. Your timing was impeccable." I let out a sigh. Elyse has been in control of this situation from the get-go.

"Bum them?! Won't that interfere with the investigation?" "Not that I mind, but why am I alive?" 'Tm not a cop," I chuckle. "Virgil and I will want something to play with." "Then why did you rescue me?" "Sorry lady, I charge extra for couples." "Money." Speaking of which, I bet Elyse has some highend goods on her. Madame Rakoczi pays top dollar for the things I find while hunting. After that exchange she's quiet; I guess she's disappointed. Tough shit. I stop walking to open the iron gate. Before I get it open, I feel something pointy pressing against my back- a knife ifl'm lucky, a wand ifl' m not. I did not see this coming. First off, where the hell did she stash that? I tried not to notice since she looked like jailbait, but those were some little shorts. Second, I already plugged the witch. "After the last dozen hunters I expected someone older, more experienced." So SHE ' S Elyse.



APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013

"Enough small talk. The moon will soon peak and Virgil will rise." Ifl don't figure out a plan quickly, not only will I be toast but Virgil will be alive again ... and that can't happen. Like a convict getting out of federal prison, a wizard returning from the other side will have learned a heap of new tricks. Overpowering her physically wouldn't be hard. If that's a wand, this could go sideways fast. Breaking it is my best shot. I thrust myself back at her. I feel a deep, sharp pain in my lower back. I gasp - that was definitely a knife. "What a shame. Virgil and I were going to have fun playing with you." Intent on her goal, Elyse walks by without giving me any further consideration. I roll over on my side so that I can watch her. That bitch is still wearing my jacket.


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bartender. Starts 7PM. All ages until IOPM

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Happy Hour 11-6PM

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BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries

MUG NIGHT 7-IUO 40oz beer S2.SO or S3

or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

S4 Peach Tea Lemonade S2 Coconut Kami


select bottles & drafts

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S2 Marqis S3 Cuervo Marqis S2.SO Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM Sl Dom draft, S2 SN draft, SI.SO wells


Progressive Night! 8-IOPM SI Sierra Pale Ale, Domestics & well


and Coke

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25¢ per hour-close

on the Beach

Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM

S3 Chocolate White Russian

All 16 oz Teas or AMF S3 All Day

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TRIKE RACES! Post time @ !Opm.


Wtn T-shirts and Bear

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S3 Glass of Merlo! S3 Salted Caramel Shot



Bear Burger with fries

S2 Select Beers S3 Teas

or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

S3 Stoli Gala Press S4 Dbl Foghorn SS Dbl Creamsicle

S2 16oz Wells

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4PM until ifs gone

select we11s, bottles and

Happy Hour 11-6PM

Insane SI/S2/S3 specials! VIP Bottle Service

pints S2.7S


S4 Sex On The Beach 54 Sierra Nevada

Knightro ON TAP Sl Jello Shots 7-IOPM S3 Rumpy, Jager and Fireball

S4 World Famous Bloody Joe SS Premium bloody; your choice of vodka

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S3 Tea of the Day S3 SO Sky Vodka Cocktails

S3 all teas S6 Sky Vodka and Redbull BUCK NIG HT 9PM-Close SI BEERS Sl WELLS Sl TEAS


S3 Tea of the Day S4.SO DBL Captain

SS Dbl. Watermelon Vodka Rockstar S3 Strawberry Shortcake Shot S4 Dbl. Peach Tea Press

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S2.2S PBR S2.7S Well & Dom. All day - Every day SIO BOTILES OF CHAMPAGNE

Call To Rent For Private

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or salad for SS.29. llam-!Opm.

Sl well cocktails, Sierra

S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle SI off Call liquor and bottled beer

S3.SO ISi party punch S3 Fire Eater Shots S6.SO Apple Cinnamon Cider 8-9PM SI pale ale and dom draft

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Happy Hour 4-8PM SS House Martinis S4 Glass of House Wine

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Complimentary Wine Tasting featuring Lucero

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IOAM-2PM S2.SO Mimosas/Bloody

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Mary's or Mariah's S2 Watermelon Kami


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Saturday April 13th 5- 7pm featuring: Lucero Vineyards



Co m e enjoy many locally produced tapas & wines paired to perfection with our co mplimentary tastings from local wine makers on Saturdays in February & March. Live classical piano!



APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013




THURSDAY, APRIL 11rH The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain

Smashed Spelling Bee THE MALTESE

TOWN& LOUNG& Black Fong@ BPM

!, ~Iii


S10 champagne bottles DJ2K 9pm-close

dive bar disco

8MONDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9PM. Cafe Flo: Jazz Happy Hour with Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7PM. Followed by Bradley & Lorna with special guests Ben Teitz. 7-9PM. DownLo: Pool League - 3 player teams, sign up with bartender. ?PM. Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8PM. Maltese: Open Mic Night Comedy. Signups @ 8, Starts @ 9. Mug Night 7-11:30PM. Woodstock's: Spelling Bee For the Grown Ups. 6:30-7:30PM.


fridav Out ol Nowhere Hard Rock/Metal 9PM



Three Fingers Whiskev


Did you win the spelling bee back in grade school? Congrats. For all those who lost, you DO realize that there's a lot ofluck involved in this competition, right? Well, if you're feeling lucky this Wednesday, then head down to the Maltese for a spelling bee with a different kind of buzz. Participants must have a drink in hand at all times and are asked to take a swig at random by the moderator. Show up before 9PM to sign up for a chance to win the $25 bar tab prize. First word kicks off at 9:30PM.

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Dreamwork Circle - Share dreams & explore techniques for discovering their secrets. 6:30-8PM. $10. The Bear: Bear Wear! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. Mug Club 4-10 PM. Cafe Flo: Open Mic with Aaron. 7-9PM. Crazy Horse Saloon: Allrequest karaoke. 21 +. DownLo: Game night with DJ DannyK. ?PM The Hub: Hot Chico Salsa - Beg. Int. $8; Beg. II $5; Just Latin

The Ukulele Orchestra is more than just a musical spectacle. They're also pretty hilarious. The group has a classic, aloof Monty Python-esque stage presence that takes their entertainment to the next level. The group features eight ukulele players with a bit of guitar thrown in to ground the sonic experience with some lower-frequency tones. Some of the cover songs they're likely to hit in the performance include Stevie Wonder's "For Once In My Life" as well as "Pinball Wizard" by The Who. The performance begins at 7:30PM with tickets running at $27 for adults and $18 for kids.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Dancing $2. LaSalle's: '90's Night. 21 +. Maltese: Karaoke 9PM-Close. Monstro's: The Deep Wile (exmems Hook and the Daggers), TBA. 8PM. $5. All ages. Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke 8:30PM-1AM. The Tackle Box: Karaoke 9PM. Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call @ 4PM on date to reserve a table. 6:30 PM.

10 WEDNESDAY 1OOth Monkey Cafe & Books:

Open Mic. Singers, songwriters, musicians, vocalists and comedians. All ages welcome. ?PM. The Bear: Trike Races. Wintshirts and Bear Bucks. Post time lOPM. Mug club 4-lOPM. Cafe Flo: Jazz Happy Hour with Carey Robinson Trio. 5-?PM. Followed by Way Out West with the Blue Merles. 7:30-9:30PM. Crazy Horse Saloon: Wild dance lessons, mechanical bull, Crazy Horse Girls, DJ Hot Rod Ent. 8-lOPM. Chico Women's Club: West African Dance with Imelda Mata. Live drumming. 5:30-?PM. $10. Chico Women's Club: Ecstatic Dance. Live music played by the TranceFormation Band. 7: 15-8:30.

DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6PM, Starts ?PM. Duffy's: Dance night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9PM. Feather Falls Casino: Dance Club. Dress to impress! 9:30PM. $5 cover includes one drink. LaSalle's: Genna & Jesse, The Rugs. 9PM. $3. Maltese: Smashed Spelling Bee. 8PM. Tackle Box: Beginner Swing Dancing Lessons. 7-9PM. Towne Lounge: Black Fong. 9PM. VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Laurie Dana. 7-9PM. Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. Call @ 4PM on date to reserve a table. 8PM.


Butte Creek Country Club: Chico Guild Fundraiser "Scholarship Fanfare Plus" - Benefits North State Symphony. Fine dining, raffle, silent auction, and fine music. 6-lOPM. $75/$30. Cafe Coda: Cammies In die/ Experimental Showcase: Clouds on Strings, French Reform, Pageant Dads, & West by Swan. 8PM. $5. Cafe Flo: Improv Jam - Workshop with Michael 5-7PM. Followed by Blues Unplugged.

7-lOPM. DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. 8PM. Downtown Chico: Thursday Night Market: ReBellyon, Rewind, Chuck's Place, Wayne Houchin. 6-9PM. Graduate: Red Bull Movie Night. lOPM. Grana: Live Jazz w/ John Seid 5:30-8:30PM. Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOPM. Sign-ups start@ 6PM. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9PM. LaSalle's: Cammies Americana/ Country Showcase: The Blue Merles, Broken Rodeo, Gordy Ohliger, Low Flying Birds, & Three Fingers Whiskey. 5:30PM. FREE. Laxson Auditorium: The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain - Taking the Uke Where it Has Never Gone. 7:30PM. $32/$27 /$25/$18. Lost On Main: Cammies World/ Celtic/Reggae Showcase: Dylan's Dharma, Ha'Penny Bridge, Los Caballitos de La Candon , & Soul Union. 9PM. $5. Followed by Dancehall featuring Ease Up & AZ redsmoke. $2. Maltese: Karaoke 9PM-Close. Panama's: Eclectic NightsBuck Night & DJ Eclectic




APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013




Poetry Reading


THE BOOKSTORE In celebration of National Poetry Month, The Bookstore will be hosting a poetry reading this Friday. The event will feature the talents of several local poets including Bob Garner, who will also be hosting the night's festivities. If you're looking for a cozy, mellow night out on the town, then this is the place to be. The reading begins at 6:30PM and refreshments will be served. Bring the kids. Bring grandma. Bring a pad of paper and a pen, for you're likely to be inspired.

With the current exponential trends in technology, what will the future look like? Ray Kurzweil predicts the future by looking at the past. He recalls, "When I was a student at MIT, we all shared a computer that took up half a building.. .it cost tens of millions of dollars. The computer in your cell phone today is a million times cheaper and a thousand times more powerful. That's a billion-fold increase:' Come see him lay out his vision for the future at 7:30PM this Friday. Tickets are $27 for adults and $ 18 for kids.

• •• • • •• • ••• • •• • ••• • ••• • •• • • • • • ••• • •• • • •• • • •• • • •• • ••• • •• • spinning favorites of today and yesterday on the patio. 9PM. Quackers: Karaoke Night with Andy. 9PM-1AM. Towne Lounge: Dive Bar Disco. 9PM. $1. VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic Performance w/ Bradley Relf. 7-9PM. No cover.

Duffy's: Pub Scouts. 4-7PM. El Rey Theatre: Aaron Carter w/ Chrystian. Doors 8PM, Show 8:30PM. $15 adv, $18 door. Kelly's Tavern (Oroville): Karaoke with Mora Sounds. 7-1 lPM. LaSalle's: Chico Scene Presents The Rave Scene. 8PM. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9PM. Laxson Auditorium: Ray 1OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Kurzweil - Author, Scientist, Writing Group - Write, & share. Inventor, & Futurist. 7:30PM. 3:30-5PM. $32/$27 /$25/$18. The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack MorLost On Main: Cammies Rap ris. 9PM-close. $2, $10 VIP. Showcase: Big Slim, Lynguistix, Cafe Coda: Cammies Jazz Resonators, TyBox. 8PM. $5. Showcase: Bogg, Chico Jazz Col- Followed by Fever Fridays with lective, Christine LaPado-Breglia DJ Marvel. Dress to impress! Trio, Eric Peter, & First Monday Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGJazz Series. 7PM. $5. BTQA +Dance Party. 9PM. Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions: Zombie Peeking: Cammies Electronic Kitten, Natt Pendry & Mathew Showcase: Billy the Robot, Strife. 7-lOPM. A.LO., Simple Science, Eyere Chico Theater Company: Eyes, & DJ Becca. 9:30PM.$2 Wayne Houchin "INSANITY" before lOPM, $3 after $10PM. Street magic. 7:30PM. Adult $15, Quackers: Live DJ. 9PM. Child $10. T-Bar: Live music 7-8:30PM. DownLo: Cammies Rock Show- Tackle Box: Live music w/ Terra case: Furlough Fridays, The Bella (formerly Chaparral). 9PM. Hambones. 6PM. $5. Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights. Cammies Funk/Jam Showcase: Espanol & English DJ dancing Alli Battaglia & The Musical with DJ (El, Kora) de Chico. Brewing Co., Black Fong, GraTowne Lounge: Out of Nowhere vybrain, Jeff Pershing Band, & - Hard Rock/Metal. 9PM. Swamp Zen. 8PM. $5.



1OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting Circle. 2-4PM. Cafe Coda: Cammies Hard Rock/ Metal Showcase: Cold Blue Mountain, A Holy Ghost Revival, Into the Open Earth, & Teeph. 8PM. $5. Cafe Flo: Bryan Anthony Phoenix, Sandra Dolores, & Mandolin May. 7- lOPM. Cal Skate: Adults Only Skate Night. 9-11:30PM. $6. 18+ Chico Theater Company: Wayne Houchin "INSANITY" Street magic. 7:30PM. Adult $15, Child $10. DownLo: Cammies Blues Showcase: Big Mo & The Full Moon Band, Second Hand Smoke. 9PM. $5. Farwood Bar & Grill (Orland): Live music with Jeff King Rock/Pop. 8:30-10:30PM. Harlen Adams Theatre: Catfish Row - Concert version of Porgy & Bess. 7:30PM. $15/$13/$6. LaSalle's: 1980NOW! 8PM. Lost On Main: Harvestival Entertainment Presents - Dead Winter Carpenters (Roots Americana Rock), Lonesome Locomotive, plus On the Bus Lighting Production. $10. Maltese: Maltese: Cammies Folk/ Acoustic Showcase: Aubrey

Debauchery, Bunnymilk, Envelope Peasant & the Scientific Orchestra, Evin Wolverton, Fera, John Paul Gutierrez, Kyle Williams, Lish Bills, MaMuse, Pat Hull, & The Railflowers. 3:30PM. FREE Monstros: Cammies Punk Showcase: Icko Sicko, Badger, The Oisters, Impulse, Nothing Left, Zabaleen, The Pushers, Fight Music, Born Into This, Brass Hysteria, Season of the Witch, Big Tree Fall Down, Michellin Embers, Frankie Doppler's Nuclear Sunrise, Mom & Dad, & Master Lady. 7PM. $5. Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30PM1AM. No cover. Tackle Box: Live music with Chris Gardner (California's# 1 Country Band). 9PM. Towne Lounge: Three Fingers Whiskey. 9PM.

14SUNDAY Crazy Horse Saloon: Sunday Fun day. LaSalle's: Karaoke. 8PM. Maltese: Live Jazz with Bogg. Followed by Trivia 8PM. Senator Theatre: The Expendables. Doors 6:30PM, Show 7:30PM. $15 adv., $18 door. The Tackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Shelley. 8PM.


PROVE IT GET OUR ATTENTION! We are looking for a talented, energetic, and eager desginer to join our intimate team.


ABOUT YOU You are awesome. You have mad design skills. CS Suite is your playground. You laugh at Comic Sans. You love the Internet. You're honest, reliable, well organized, savvy, loyal, fun to be around, etc

HOW TO APPLY Please email 1. Resume and ideally a link to an online portfolio or some websites that you've worked on. 2. Brief intro email stating why you feel this position is a good match for you.


APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013

ts I



Jaime O'Neill

Bullshit Left, Bullshit Right In Santa Cruz, where self-styled intellectuals cluster when they want to give up thinking and simply embrace whatever fashionable substitutes for thinking are in the air, a local club owner recently canceled an appearance by singer/songwriter, Michelle Shocked. Ms. Shocked, who has a long history of political activism, previously had made a comment that offended the gay community. Bill Welch, the aforementioned Santa Cruz club owner, cancelled her upcoming gig at his joint, saying, "We will not be bashing Michelle Shocked. Rather, we will celebrate music, diversity, and send some healing Santa Cruz energy herwaY:'

don't automatically "celebrate'' whenever the word "diversity" is uttered? You must be a bigot. You don't snap to attention when someone says "liberty"? Surely you must be a godless communist. Then there's that "healing" bullshit, a word employed with little thought, and even less meaning. Here, Mr. Welch uses it to proclaim how swaddled in psychic health the entire Santa Cruz community is while extending a passive-aggressive swipe of his hand to the woman he wishes to diss, condescending to her with his ever-sokind healing "energy:'

"Implicit in those words

is a smug moral superior-

You can hear this crap most any day right here in Chico. You can hear it on KZFR, where the good "us" is opposed to the unhealthy "them;' expressed in the lexicon of clubby group speak like "sustainability;' "multiculturalism;' or "critical thinking:' Over on KPAY, you hear the reverse side of that coin, with the word "real" used to modify the word "American;' the word "liberal" as shorthand for "bad;' and the word "urban'' employed as a euphemism for "black:'

ity that puts all of its con-

Don't you just hate that? I do. It is so selfrighteous, so deeply offensive to thought. Implicit in those words is a smug moral superiority that puts all of its constructs beyond question or criticism. George Orwell once cautioned us to be wary of abstract language. When words stray far from the concrete, when they do not evoke tangible images, when they demand unthinking assent, someone is choosing those words to manipulate or obfuscate. On the left wing of the political spectrum, the word "diversity" is the equivalent of the way words like "patriotism'' or "liberty" get tossed around on the right. These are concepts beyond question, though they can cover a wide range of meaning. Words like these are bludgeons. What, you

structs beyond question or criticism."



APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013

Bullshit to the left; bullshit to the right. But it's thought-denying bullshit no matter the direction it's coming from.

Wellspring Of Gaming I got turned on to this DIYvideogame at the office this week called Ballpoint Universe. The totally awesome, spacious, and subtle soundtrack was composed by Nicholas Minniti, a 2008 Chico State Graduate with a degree in Music Industry & Technology. Ballpoint Universe is one part sidescroller platform game, most other parts sidescrolling space shooter. You walk around talking to villagers and learning the lore of the game until you find a villager with a mission. Then it's up into your spaceship to shoot down hella bad guys.

The real point of this game lies within the title; every single thing you see in the game has been hand-drawn with ballpoint pen on white lined paper, cut out, and then scanned into the computer. I know it sounds kind of cool, but when you're actually in the world moving around you realize it's REALLY fucking cool. It's a huge, fun, pop-up book stretching backward and forward, up and down in three dimensions, with every paper-thin piece of scenery swaying gently in the virtual breeze.

to navigate while ships with guns try to kill you. Nearly every space shooter mission has a cool, paper-cutout boss with multiple moving paper parts for you to shoot at. Some of them are stupid hard, flying in hella fast from the edge of the screen to slice your paper starship with a huge paper sword. Other bosses are much more relaxed about you shooting at them; I think those were just made to be looked at. The spaceship is its own ever-changing creation. The more you explore and the more shit you destroy, the more modifications you add to your ship. In the beginning you fly a modest pyramid-shaped thing with little paper triangles floating around it serving as wings. As the gaming hours add up, your ship becomes a strange and beautiful origami destroyer. This game is a wellspring of inspiration and creativity, and it's quite addictive. I'm not sure if it's officially out yet or not, but the free demo is at The link is safe, I promise.

The bulk of the game is in the space-shooter levels, which I found super hard. However, after a couple of hours playing I got way better, and the levels revealed even more artistic genius.

Howl is a biweekly arts primer whose intention is to showcase the artists of our wonderful area. Email me with information about your project (all media welcome!), and you'll get published.

There's a forest level filled with floating tree saplings (that will kill you), cute owls (that will kill you), and tree saplings with guns. You gotta watch out for those ones, 'cause they'll try to kill you. There's a ruined castle level where huge hand-drawn chunks of castle form a floating, rotating maze for you

Photo grabbed from www.arachnidgames. com/blog/



Erica Noel


Dear Automobile Drivers Bless your hearts. Now I can say whatever I want and you can't be offended because I have blessed your poor, black, smog-filled, gasoline-reliant hearts. I'm not sure how most of you passed your driving tests. I mean really, are you kidding me? Let me break something down for you: The gas pedal is on the right, the brakes are on the left. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Side view mirrors are to be used, they aren't just for decoration. You drivers might be wondering why I am writing to you, this being a cycling column after all. I am directing this week's column to you because nearly every time I ride my bike through downtown, I am almost killed. No, its not because I have terrible cycling skills. It's because all of you trying to find a parking spot or leaving one seem to have tunnel vision and I happen to fall just outside of that tunnel. Your parking emergency should not send me to the emergency room. I ride in the right lane because that's where I am supposed to ride, but even sharing that side of the road is getting treacherous. This week, I was talking with a friend who has a child attending Chico Junior High. While picking up her son, she witnessed the aftermath of a hit-and-run. A confused cyclist and his friends tried, in vain, to make sense of the situation. The car who hit him not only drove off without taking responsibility, but also royally fucked up his bike. This was outside a school. Kids bike along our streets every day. In her three years as a Chico resident, my friend has seen four hit-and-runs. Her son's best friend had his leg broken by an errant driver. It's time you cars start slowing down and take a minute to realize that you are sharing the road with adults and children alike; all of whom are trying to get from point A to point B in one piece. I have witnessed three car/bike accidents in the past year and all three times the cyclists were obeying traffic laws. I know way too many

people who have sustained major injuries from bad drivers right here in "silver-rated" Chico. What would Ed have thought of this? It's time this business stops. We cyclists are just trying to get to work, enjoy the weather, run errands, make it to class on time and - what's that other thing? Oh yeah, do something good for the environment. It may sound cheesy, but that's the thing - we are kind of a cheesy bunch. We are lovers oflife, enjoyers of this amazing planet, pedal-pushing, planet-saving, bike-lane-loving, wind-in-ourhair enjoying folks, and we just want to do the thing we love safely. While you are fighting traffic, we are taking in the scenery. And yeah, sometimes we think we're better than those of you stuck in your death traps, but that doesn't mean you need to try and kill us. I'm over it. Drive better, or I'm going to start taking a cue from "Premium Rush" and my chain will not only lock up my bike, but will also double as a weapon of mass destruction directed at your side view mirrors. I mean, it seems like you aren't using them anyway.





APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013



- - - - s y nthesis-


see yourself

pictured here you can


your photo on our Life In Chico Facebook page!

What do you do for a living? I actually have five jobs. I am a custom jeweler working mainly with metals I am a longarm machine quilter, a certified Doula, a photographer and a childcare provider. But I still find time to do my favorite thing, which is to travel the world. Tell me something fun/interesting/ horrifying. I saw first-hand the awakening of freedom in Romania at the age of 16.


APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013

I went through an 8.0 earthquake in 2007, while in Peru. I've eaten dried worms in a hut in South Africa. I was snowed in for 36 hrs at the Amsterdam airport. An all time favorite was when I backpacked through Italy, England and France with my camera. Most sobering was when I walked the beaches of Normandy and cried with gratefulness for the sacrifices that were made by those who fought for freedom.


ReutewsThe Next Day



David Bowie The Next Day Columbia by Guy Starvist

There's no pretense of innovation on David Bowie's newest album - his first in over ten years. He even recycled the cover from 1977 's Heroes. The title track, a defiant rocker that kicks off the record, could be a Heroes outtake with its mimicked Brian Eno production and echoes of Robert Fripp's signature guitar. The rest of the album might just as well be from the '80s, either as radio-friendly singles or as the soundtrack to a more sinister version of Labyrinth. However, this void of originality is refreshing. Bowie's long been one of music's premier innovators, but here he sounds like he's having fun - a lot of fun - and it's contagious. He delivers plenty of catchy songs with daring arrangements, strange noises, and of course some epic saxophone action. He still croons, at times nonsensically, like the vampiric Romeo or Goblin King we know him as. Some bits may seem cheesy and/or boring at first (like a lot of the ' 80s and most of the ' 90s music he put out), but after a few listens they're all memorable. Overall, The Next Day is satisfying for how simple and unashamed it is. It doesn't come off as an aging rock star desperately trying to hang onto fame. There's no sense that he's mocking himself, nor trying to cash in on his legacy. Every track feels natural and honest, and those are two qualities that always work for any artist.


& the Mnemonics

The Place Self-Released by Jeremy Gerrard Masterful songwriting comes natural to BIV & the Mnemonics. The Pace is precious evidence. Like its predecessor The Blue Orange, each track proves that widely accessible music need not be stripped of innovation. It'll take longer than it should for the country to realize it, but The Pace rejuvenates the predictable genre of Americana. It's hard to say how, but it does. Maybe it's the serenely atmospheric harmonies. Maybe it's the unpredictable segues. Perhaps it's their chord progressions, which somehow achieve melodies without the aid of individual notes. Maybe it's the countryfied blues licks that float on the backs of those progressions. And of course there's the lyrics-so genuine they make you feel like a coward. The second track, "Critically Cool," showcases everything mentioned above. "Rolling Deep into the Backwoods" follows with an infectious two-chord progression and a suspenseful backbeat that smoothly erupts into full swing, complete with celebratory horn lines and velvety harmonies. "Manifest Destiny" combines a foreboding verse with raucous choruses and bridges. After a strong pair of folk-y tunes, "Rella" breaks through, culminating in an outro that sounds like a more inventively arranged "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." The closer to the 47-minute LP is "Long Arm of the Law." If you had a beer, laid down in a field, and the clouds started waltzing, that's what they'd be dancing to. This all makes for a truly impressive record, but its best facet is certainly the pace. It's worth your time to see what I mean.


APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013


SCENE REPORT by David Neuschatz â&#x20AC;˘ photos by Nik Burman

Dash Rip Rock , Wed. April 3 @ La Salles My Wednesday night was bittersweet. The Synthesizers - the Synthesis softball team - took their second loss in a row, and in doing so caused me to miss The Hambones. As I hastily walked through the door they were packing up, and I couldn't help but feel an emptiness in my gut. Luckily, some New Orleans alt-country/rock legends took the stage no more than 15 minutes later. The power trio Dash Rip Rock took hold of the crowd with their humorous brand of straightforward, white-knuckle delta-rock. The selfproclaimed (with tougue firmly planted in cheek) " fastest band in the world," is fearlessly lead by the sardonic balladeer Bill "Master of Disaster on the Telecaster" Davis. At one point during the middle of a song, David pulled out a second guitar - dubbed "the Alliga-tar" for it's gator skin - and used it to play slide on his telecaster. It was the most innovative guitar styling I'd seen since Jeremy Gerrard hopped on Byron Dunning 's shoulders midsong during the Amblers performance at the 1078 Gallery, creating the tallest musician in the world who proceeded to have dueling guitar solos with itself.


APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013

Dash Rip Rock are touring in support of their 18th LP, Black Liquor. They played a few tracks from the new album such as "Beck Moi Tchew," a Cajun cussword-laden tune whose title translates to "bite my ass." A couple great tracks that got a particularly lively, leather-clad older couple on the bar 's parquet dance floor were "Pussywhipped" and "Leave Me Alone to My Bottle." DRR broke into barbershop harmonies twice, which was a welcomed deviation from the path of melted faces left in their wake. Another song titled "Let's All Smoke Some Pot" played to the tune of Danny and the Juniors ' "At the Hop," apparently garnered them significant radio play in the ' 90s. The subject matter of their songs usually pertained to the seedy underbelly of Louisiana culture, including topics such as women, booze, and New Orleans. But what else would you expect from the only band to purportedly have been showcased at SXSW every year since the festival 's commencement.


NOW HEAR THIS! STAFF PICKS Nolan "He/la" - Biv & The Mnemonics Nick "Trust You" - Pusha T

Cinderella: Act I Scene II

Bethany Katya Sara Kathy

"Diab/a Rojo" - Rodrigo y Gabriela "Q&A Recital!" - Harulca Tomatsu "Silver Tongue" - Zulu Winter ''Some Days Are Better Than Others" - Matthew Cooper

Michaela "The Dramatist"- Christof Laputka

by Kenny "Squints" Kelly

The Synthesis softball team, The Synthesizers, took a 12-6 loss last Wednesday at the hands of Ump Yours. Though winless, our confidence remains steadfast. No underdog story begins with the ragtag bunch mopping the floor with their opponents. How compelling would it be if Cinderella put on the glass slipper in Act I, Scene II? No, Cinderella's gotta mop some actual floors, scrub

some toilets, and scrape some bunions off her sister's disgusting feet first. Centerfielder, David "Maverick" N euschatz didn't let a few dropped fly balls get him down. In the late innings, he toughened up and caught the shit out of a ball blasted to deep center. Although the batter was automatically out on a rule violation, Maverick still danced like Cinderella at the ball.

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ARIES Wednesday morning features the new moon in Aries. What would you like to do that you've never done before? Are you honoring the things that have been on your heart? Most Aries move on impulse. It would be wise to plan a strategy that looks further into the future. The Venus and Mars conjunction in Aries is good for falling in love or exploring a new person romantically. Mercury enters Aries Saturday night, prompting quick thinking and clearer communication.

GEMINI The week begins socially active for you. You'll know who your real friends are by Wednesday. Prepare for the future. Get together with progressively-minded people. Find a way to create new solutions. Thinking beyond the grid and finding new sources of energy is crucial. You have greater good fortune and a willingness to help change things for the better. Saturday and Sunday feature the moon in Gemini. You should be at the top of your game.

LEO Forgive others for a longer life. Develop a more philosophical approach to your problems. Good fortune is all around you. You are able to help others become wealthy too. Pay attention to your studies. Mark each and every experience as important. Try different routes when going to a familiar place or pick a new destination. The new moon will make you luckier and happier. Take courage and be confident. When the purpose is unselfish love, how can there be any mistakes?

LIBRA You are conscious of your own potential. You are having trouble deciding whether you should move forward or back off. Love is infinite and love is work If you are afraid of work, you are afraid of love. Romance and infatuation are mostly temporary states. Even in good partnerships, it's easy to settle into routine. The new moon rules marriage, engagements, contracts, and open enemies. Yes, it's unfortunately true that even though you are nice, not everyone sees you that way.

SAGITTARIUS Living large seems to be your specialty these days. You're in the mood for celebrations of any kind. There is a sense of enthusiasm in the air. Fire signs feed and bask in the light and activities of other fire signs. There is a sense of spontaneity as well as a contagious enthusiasm. The new moon rules creative expression, children, fathers, and being the class clown. It's good to be generous with your wealth and spread the joy to others.

AQUARIUS Stay on your toes and be aware. You have a lot of information to digest during this period Pay attention to all forms of communication. This may also be a time where you consider going back to school. Look up siblings, cousins, and friends that you grew up with. The new moon rules being a bigger part of your local environment, learning to be a better neighbor, and being able to travel at the drop of a hat. It's also a good time to develop talents that involve working with your hands.

TAURUS Pay attention to personal karma What has been hidden in secret will eventually be made known. Your secrets have your attention. It's important to be careful not to be a part of your own undoing. Prayer is one of the best ways to negotiate your current 12 house transits. On the lighter side, you may enjoy the pleasures of the bed more. Take time to get enough sleep. Help other people who are isolated in some way. The moon will be in Taurus Wednesday night until daybreak Saturday.

CANCER You are the commander, the captain, the general, the boss, the leader, and the responsible party. You enjoy working with a positive emotional flow. You are an expert on instilling good feelings. Compliments, gifts, and rewards are some of your tools for motivation. Thursday and Friday are your best days for going out and socializing. Otherwise this is a time to keep your nose to the grindstone, focus on work and career, and make things happen.

VIRGO Good things come from places and people that we might not necessarily want to relate to. Keeping a clear, non-judgmental mind will allow you the most opportunities for joyful discoveries. There is often sadness or anger when we need to let go of something or someone that weve been attached to. The new moon rules mysteries, transformation, and telepathic thoughts. It also rules an awakened libido, births, and deaths. Give up something to get something better.

SCORPIO Get organized Get rid of things. Learn to simplify and do things more efficiently. The freedom you do have is not to be taken for granted. Smile more often and you may attract some new friends. Be ready and able to help others with a charitable cause. Take care of your health by drinking more water and by getting enough sleep. The new moon rules small pets, uncles and aunts, and finding a way to make the life of the community flow more smoothly.

CAPRICORN Family and domestic issues are at the top of your agenda. Pay attention to memories and your personal history. Parents are confronted with a number of new issues and situations with every generation. It's best not to criticize others for not having the proper information. Teaching and learning both require patience. The new moon rules your heritage, parents, grandparents, and your foundation for living. Thursday and Friday look joyful and creative.

PISCES You can't serve two masters God and money. Addiction to materialism is the downfall of Western culture. Anything that makes us want to separate rather than unite may need to come under question. You need a good foundation for positive living and good relationships. The money will come. Sometimes you need to be generous or give a little away to a charitable cause first. Sing spiritual songs. Compliment others and take care of a sore throat or neck ache.

Koz McKev is on You Tube, on cable 11 BCTV, is heard on 90.lFM KZFR Chico, and also available by appointment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail


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Synthesis Weekly April 8-15, 2013  
Synthesis Weekly April 8-15, 2013  

Vol 19 Issue 32