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SYDgiRl “A Woman’s Life Blog Magazine” JUNE-JULY 2012 issue


Table of Content Sarah Poulsen Therapeutic Uncle Ted Bad Things Melissa Newell Boost Your Mood Leslie Sagers Facial Products Sydney Keith BeyondDANCE Kari Woods Did I fail? “SYD” Ask Syd DJ.G1 Goals


Therapeutic By: Sarah Poulsen I grew up in a small town, and I was one of the best at what I did in that town. My head got big and dancing became all about me. I wanted everyone to see and know how good I was. I wanted all of the spot-light, all of the time. So naturally, I move away to college expecting the same thing; to be the best dancer on campus, all eyes on me. As you might have guessed, that is not how things turned out. I found myself in array of amazing dancers. My big head had shrunk just a little bit, but, I still wanted it to be all about me. And I was going to work to make it that way. Trying to get to the top as a dancer was not happening as fast as I would have liked it to. The questions that most college kids have at some point or another come to mind—“What am I doing? Where am I going?”—you know the big life questions. At this point, I was desperately trying to find a job and, keep up in school, and be the best dancer. It was exhausting; dance had almost become a chore. It was losing its luster, but then a job offer came my way. This wasn’t just any job offer; it was a job offer to teach dance to troubled teens at a co-ed treatment center. This center assisted clients that are likely to cause self-harm, as well as clients that have depression, anxiety, eating disorders, anger problems, and drug and alcohol addictions. I was scared out of my mind. I had never worked with troubled teens. I didn’t know where to begin with them. My first day may have been the scariest first day on the job I have ever had. The girls were mean and catty, the boys were a little too nice, and they were all very manipulative. I was uncertain I could handle this, but I pushed forward. For my first few months, there I stuck to basics and technique and not much else. All the students liked my classes alright, but it wasn’t anything special to them. And again I wanted to be at the top; I wanted them to love my class, for my satisfaction more than theirs. As I pondered how to make these classes better, I thought that doing a combination might be a way to get them to like class a bit more—an upbeat combination that was easy and fun. This brought smiles to their faces, when before I could see they were feeling low. At that moment, a small spark came to my mind. Dance is fun! So I kept doing fun upbeat combinations with them. Now, my job wasn’t only about teaching dance. I stayed with them through their other academic classes and as they are going in and out of therapeutic sessions. This gave me the opportunity to watch these adolescents very closely, and I had noticed that these kids get angry very easily. With that thought in mind, I decided to try a slower, more lyrical dance for the next week. As I watched them, another small spark came to my mind. Dance is calming. The more I watched these teens, the more I learned. I learned that many of them have identity issues. So the next week I tried a little improvisation with them in class. Boom, another spark. Dance is unique to each person. As I kept trying new things with my students I realized so many things. Dance can be sad, dance can be joyful, dance can be angry, dance can be funny, dance can anything you want it to be! How can I be so blind? So self-absorbed to not know what dance can be for myself and others. Dance is therapeutic! This changed everything. It changed my attitude, it changed my classes, and it certainly changed my dancing. I enjoyed dancing! I wanted to dance not to be on top but


to feel good and happy. Going to class had transformed from being a chore to being a necessity. I learned that I can help and inspire my students by caring and showing them

the true art behind dance. Not by being at the top. My clients love my class now, not because I am a cool teacher or because we do fun dances, but because they can be themselves in my class. They can let out and anger, sadness or despair they have, not in their words but in their movement. My questions were answered; I no longer wanted to dance for myself, but to help others through my dancing.


WHAT I THINK I KNOW ABOUT…............. WHY SOME PEOPLE HAVE SO MANY BAD THINGS HAPPEN BY: PARKE EDWARD (“UNCLE

TED”) SIMMONS

Author’s Note: For this month’s article, Syd, our tremendously talented Editor-in-Chief, asked me to write something on the “lighter side;” something without as many “life lesson-type” messages as in recent articles. After racking what remains of my rattled brain, I decided to tell you about a real event which I witnessed many years ago, and which I personally thought was hilarious. I hope that you’ll get a few laughs from it as well. Syd also suggested that this month’s article be “a little less wordy.” Now that will be much more challenging. As some of you who have been kind enough to read my past articles will know, once I get on a roll, it’s hard for me to put the brakes on. Or, as my wife has said many times, one of my “greatest talents is to consistently make a paragraph out of a sentence.” I can only pledge to you that I will try to meet both of Syd’s requests. ‘A MAN OF MANY BAD BREAKS’ Many years ago, I worked for a large pharmaceutical company as a “detail man;” (a fancy name for “traveling salesman”). My territory, consisting of Central and Coastal Oregon covered a large geographic area and required that I spend three nights away from home one week and two nights the following week. My responsibility was to convince physicians that they and their patients would be much better off (”in every way”), by using my company’s product lines versus those of my many competitors’. More often than not, my days were filled with a fair amount or rejection and even more frustration because I was told by the office front-desk personnel that doctors I called on were: a- “Too busy to see me.” b- “Were satisfied with other products.” c- “Already using ‘all of our products.” d- All of the above. So, there was a lot of “windshield time” (driving between calls), on my part with very little time actually in front of the doctors; really the only place where I actually had a decent chance to showcase my company’s products. At times, this was quite frustrating but, on the other hand, I learned how to handle rejection; a necessary skill if one decides to pursue a career in sales. On the other hand, when I’d start to feel sorry for myself, I’d realize that my plight wasn’t really all that horrible.


After all, my company furnished me with a new car every year, (made necessary by the 45,000 miles +/- I clocked annually); paid me a decent salary plus an over-ride commission on all our product sold in my geographical territory…whether or not I had actually done anything to directly create those sales. In addition, all my travel, client entertainment, gas, auto maintenance and lodging were paid. And a nice side-benefit was that I was able to interact with many attractive medical office staff all day long. The icing on the cake was that I’d often finish my calls in plenty of time to play golf or go fly fishing before sunset. No, when I kept my job in the proper perspective, I realized that I actually had it made! Oregon’s rainy season being what it is, (about nine months a year), it wasn’t always feasible to play golf or stand knee-deep in a rushing river or stream, trying to hook a Trout or Salmon. Those late afternoon and evenings were, in my opinion, better spent frequenting the motel cocktail lounges or local bars in the towns where I always spent my nights while on the road. After covering that territory for a couple of years, I literally had at least two or three guys I could count on to shoot the bull with, while having a few cold beers. I also learned which guys to stay away from unless I felt like ending up in the parking lot brawl. And I learned who the “loose ladies” were who frequented those same places but, with a very few exceptions, (a story for another time), I avoided those situations. Coincidentally, they were often the reasons for the parking lot fights and, being brutally frank, as a rule they generally weren’t worth the risk of having some logger split your head open for messing with his girlfriend…or wife. So, my drinking buddies and I would just find a corner booth and lie about our golf games, how big the fish were we’d caught recently and, since several of them were fellow “road-warriors” like me, we’d bullshit about our sales and how much money we made. You know, .…just the usual intelligent conversations guys have when they don’t have their ladies with them to keep ’em at least relatively honest. One of my regular stops on the Oregon coast was in Coos Bay, a port town that handled cargo from large freighters from all around the world. Because of having seamen of damn near every color and nationality blowing off steam while their ships were in port, things could get out of control in a hurry. I quickly learned (college wasn’t a complete waste after all), that the best place for a twenty-something salesman was not in the couple dozen dives along the waterfront. Instead, about the only place I frequented in Coos Bay was the cocktail lounge in the place where I stayed called The Village Motel. A fair number of my fellow “traveling men” stayed there but our regular group sort of evolved into an eclectic bunch including a couple of local businessmen who would stop in for a drink or two before heading home.


As it turned out, one of my best buddies in any town where I routinely stayed was a guy named Harold, who had worked for a big hardware store for almost 20 years. He was somewhere in his mid to late forties, married with two grown daughters, and was one of those guys who always seemed to be in a great mood. Plus, he always paid for at least his share of the rounds of drinks we had and always had a bunch of good jokes to tell us. Well, it was on a cold, drizzly early evening in mid-December when I checked into The Village Motel and, after changing out of my damp suit and into some Levis and a sweatshirt, headed straight for the cocktail lounge downstairs. Most of the usual group was already there, although Harold hadn’t yet made an appearance. In fact, it was close to 8:00, and there was just me and one other salesman, a dental rep named Frank, left at our usual table when Harold finally limped in from the pouring rain outside. And this is where it really started to get weird. Instead of his normal warm greeting and ever-present smile, Harold frankly looked like he’d fought his way through a good number of those waterfront bars and, without a doubt, had gotten the worst of it at every stop he’d made. Our regular cocktail waitress, a 50 plus gal named Liz, came by and asked if he’d be having his usual Olympia Beer. Without even looking up from his folded hands resting on the table, he finally said, almost in a whisper, “No, Liz; bring me a double bourbon on the rocks. No, on second thought, bring ’em two at a time and keep ’em coming until you have to cut me off.” Frank and I ordered a couple more “Olys” and, after Harold had downed his first two doubles without saying a word to either of us, I finally decided that I had to ask, “Hey, buddy, what the hell is eatin’ on you tonight? You look like you’ve been ‘rode hard and put away wet. Actually, you look like hell-frozen over.” He finally looked up, and it was almost like he had just then noticed Frank and I were there at the table with him. After a long hesitation, he said, “Guys, if I told you about the day I’ve had, you wouldn’t believe me anyway. So what’s the use?” Then Frank replied, “You’re wrong about that, Harold. We know you’re an honest, Christian man and it’s easy enough to see that you’re hurtin’. You know, sometimes it does a man good just to get things out in the open. You never know, but maybe Ted and I can make things a little better someway; at least we can listen while you get it off your chest.” Another tray of drinks had appeared and, after taking a big swallow of his first double bourbon of this round, Harold was evidently ready to do some heavy-duty unloading on the events of his day. “Well, in hindsight, it started before I left for work this morning, but I was too blind to see it coming. Marge has never been what you’d call a “morning person” but she hardly spoke to me at all or even offered to fix me my usual toast and coffee. When I decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and went out the door, I told her I’d see her


tonight but she didn’t even say goodbye. And that was unusual, even for the “Morning Marge” I’d lived with for so long.” Liz was back with another round of drinks and Harold soon continued. “Maybe I was distracted by Marge’s worse than usual bad mood but, driving towards the DownTowner Café to get some breakfast, I ran a red light and got ‘T-boned’ by a log truck that had to be goin’ at least 50; that pushed my car darn near a half a block down the street before that logger was able to get his rig stopped.” I started to make a comment to Harold, but it was obvious that he was now on a roll and was not going to stop until he’d covered his whole day. At least, I figured it couldn’t get any worse than being slammed into by a speeding log truck. I was wrong.” “My car was ‘totaled’ but, by the grace of God, I lived through what should have been a fatal accident. In what seemed like just a couple of minutes, a fire truck, two cop cars and an ambulance arrived at the scene. There was a lot of blood running down into my eyes from this cut on my forehead but that turned out not to be much …just took nine stitches to close it up. But the medical folks on the scene must’ve thought I had some internal injuries because I heard the EMTs telling the others that they’d better try and get a Coast Guard helicopter that could transport me the ten miles or so to the hospital way faster than they could drive me there.” “Then, I sort of remember being lifted into the chopper and, within a matter of seconds after lift-off, hearing a strange noise coming from the engine, accompanied by the pilot shouting, ‘Holly shit; we’re going down.” “I must’ve lost consciousness when we crashed as, the next thing I remember, I was in an ambulance, along with the two chopper pilots, and the siren was going full blast and, from what I could tell, so was the ambulance. That is, right up until the driver misjudged his speed while trying to turn into the driveway that led to the Emergency Room Entrance area. If I had to guess, I’d say that the ambulance rolled twice before coming to rest on its left side; still about 50 yards from our intended entrance.” “Once inside, there seemed to be about a hundred people in white running around and loading up the two pilots, one guy from the ambulance and me. There probably weren’t really a hundred people in white at a relatively small hospital like Coos Bay General; instead it was very likely, I was seeing double or maybe even triple by then.” “Anyway, two of the hospital staff got me on a cart and we entered the elevator in order to reach the second floor backup emergency care room. Evidently, the main room was overflowing with the usual dozen or so drunken seamen being treated for last night’s adventures. By this point, I didn’t care where I received whatever treatment I needed; I would be happy as can be just to see a live doctor.”


“But that wasn’t in the cards for the immediate future. The elevator came to a sudden, shuttering stop, and the lights flickered a couple times before going out. We were stuck between floors.” “I must have just said ‘to hell with it’ and passed out, because the next thing I knew, I was being wheeled back to a hospital room. The nurse who was doing the wheeling said, ‘You are fine, sir; just that nasty cut on your forehead, a broken thumb and a badly sprained ankle. In fact, the Dr. Freeman said you could be dismissed immediately if you’d like or, if you prefer, we can keep you overnight for observation.” “That was an easy decision to make so I asked her to call a cab for me. The quiet, familiar safety of my own home sounded better to me at that moment than I can ever remember. Even Marge would be happy that I’d made it through not one, but three potentially deadly accidents….and all in one terrible day!” “While I was waiting for the cab to arrive at Coos General, I used a pay phone in the lobby to call my insurance agent, Sam Symons, and inform him about my car being totaled and ask him how soon I could pick up a new vehicle. After all, my family had all of our insurance with Sam, and I’d made sure I had full auto coverage. I was thinking that it was about time ole Sam’s company had to pay me for a change.” “He listened patiently but, when I was finished giving him all the details I could remember, he asked me a strange question. ‘So, Harold, why are you calling me about the car accident? According to the call I got from Marge two months ago, you had decided to cancel all the insurance you had with me and go with the All State Agency instead. After all the time we’ve known each other, I have to admit that I was very disappointed with your dumping me but, when all is said and done, it is your decision to make. And I just have to live with it.” “I now must have been in a state of shock because I couldn’t even begin to bring myself to tell Sam that I had made no such decision and had certainly not instructed Marge to cancel our coverage. I just hung up the phone and searched my pockets for another nickel. The possibility of not having any coverage had hit me so I immediately called the All State Agency and asked if I had the necessary coverage to replace my ‘totaled’ Buick. After being left on hold for at least five minutes, the receptionist came back on the line and said flatly, ‘I am quite sorry to inform you that our agency does not have any insurance with you or your wife, sir.’ Again, all I could do was hang-up.” “The taxi appeared in front of Coos General and I gave him my address. From the moment I entered the cab, I smelled the very strong aroma of alcohol wafting back my way from the cabbie. Sure enough, about a block from my house, the cabbie slammed into the back of a car parked next to the curb. Well, I’d had enough of fender benders to last a life time, so I threw three dollar bills on the front seat; more than enough to cover what would’ve amounted to a total fare of perhaps a dollar and fifty cents. With that, I opened the rear door and managed to walk the rest of the way home after my fourth accident of the day.”


“When I finally reached the safety of my home sweet home, there were no lights on inside, even though it was going on 6:00 and almost completely dark outside. I called out Marge’s name several times, but there was no answer. I found the light switch on the kitchen wall and, after my eyes adjusted from the pitch-dark, I noticed an envelope propped up by a pepper shaker on the dining table. My name was on the envelope, written in what I knew was Marge’s small, neat handwriting.” As Frank and I sat completely engrossed by what we had been hearing, Harold slowly pulled a crumpled envelope from his inside sport coat jacket pocket and said, “Here, let me read parts of it to you. Hell, tonight is my night to lay bare my problems, right?” Although Harold occasionally glanced at the letter he was reading us, it was apparent that he had read it often enough to have memorized most of the important parts. “Basically, the letter informs me, in no uncertain terms, that Marge has left me. She pulled no punches. She hasn’t loved me for at least ten years and only stayed with me until both of our sons were grown. She says here, ‘I’ve been seeing a great man named Tony for the last five years and neither of us feel there is any reason now to wait any longer to be together full time. He is ten times the man you’ll ever be, Harold, and ten years younger too. I only regret that I’ve had to waste the last five years staying with you. By the way, I have emptied and closed our checking and savings accounts. Tony was recently laid off again and we need the few lousy bucks we had in the accounts for us to live on. Besides, the divorce court would give the money to me sooner or later anyway. I also want you to put the house on the market so that I will be able to receive half of its selling price. By the way, since you’ll learn about it sooner or later, I “copied” your signature on a home equity loan of $30,000.00 because Tony and I need a ‘nestegg’ to help us get off to a good start down in California. But there still should be another $25,000.00 or so left in equity and I want my half of that too. I warn you, Harold, don’t try to screw me out of what’s mine. Tony would not be pleased with you and there is no doubt that he would love to kick your ass or worse.’” Harold then folded the letter and said, “ It goes on from there guys, but I think you’ve heard plenty enough to get the drift of what my dear, sweet, soon to be ex-wife Marge has been up to.” Again, I started to say something that I hoped would at least be a little comforting to Harold, but he held up his hand and said, “Let me finish what I want to say, guys. Then, if I’m not passed out by then, I’ll listen to any ‘gems of wisdom’ you want to offer me.” “You both know that I am a man of faith. I’ve attended church nearly every Sunday of my life and pray several times a day. Just before I took another taxi down here tonight, I literally got down on my knees and prayed. Yep, I prayed harder and longer than I ever have before. I was desperate for answers. I’ll even tell you what I prayed to God about.” This made both Frank and me feel uncomfortable as a man’s personal prayers should be between his god and him; not shared with a couple of young buck salesmen who’d never


been through one-tenth of what Harold had experienced during today alone. But it was clear that Harold had taken our advice of sharing his problems with us and he wasn’t about to call it off until he was finished. Harold, who had been cut off by Liz an hour ago, now had tears glistening in the corners of both his eyes as he continued, “Yes, men, I literally got down on my knees in the middle of the kitchen floor and prayed with everything I had. I said, Dear God, please enlighten me; please tell this believer why all those bad things hit me head-on today. Please tell me why I was hit by a speeding log truck? Why did the helicopter taking me to the hospital have mechanical failures and end up crashing? Why did the ambulance that rescued the helicopter pilots and me then crash and roll several times before it actually got me to the hospital? Why did the elevator lose power and get stuck while trying to get me to emergency treatment while I lay there bleeding out? Why did the cabbie that drove me home from the hospital turn out to be drunk and have yet another accident before he reached my home? Why did the woman I loved and thought loved me cancel all my insurance, leaving me with no car to drive along with several payments still due to the finance company on the now ‘totaled car’? Why did she steal my last dime? And, Dear God, why did this same woman, to whom I gave my virginity on our wedding night, and whom I’d loved for over 20 years, why, oh why has she been cheating on me for many years and, as of today, has left me for some dead-beat, leaving me virtually penniless— Oh Sweet Lord Jesus God, I beg of you, please tell me why all this has happened?” “It was then, guys, that I looked out the kitchen window after hearing the loudest thunder I’ve ever experienced, and witnessed yet another huge bolt of lightning that literally filled the grey sky and then………then I swear to you, the black clouds literally parted and there, in front of my very own eyes, God himself appeared. He not only appeared, He did, in fact, answer my questions in a deep, booming voice that rattled the glassware in the kitchen cabinets and threatened to break every window in the house. He gave me the answer to my questions as to why all these terrible things had happened to me. And, believe me; I’ll never forget his answer.” “His piercing blue eyes bore directly into mine and he said with great, god-like intensity, “Harold, there is just something about you that really pisses me off !!” Frank spilled his beer and I choked on mine as Harold slowly began to lift his head from his arms on the table. Liz suddenly appeared by our table, laughing hysterically and even Steve, the bartender came over to the table choking on his own laughter while pointing our way and trying to say something he never quite managed to get out. By then, Harold had completely raised his head and his old, familiar smile was back and bigger than ever. “I’m really sorry you guys, but you should have seen your faces when I was feeding you that bullshit story. A little bird told me that you two had mentioned that I was sometimes far too serious about my religious beliefs. Truth is that my faith instructs me not to take myself too seriously and to never pass judgment on others who don’t believe as I do. I just wanted to show you, as dramatically as I could, that I am not pious


and that, yes, even Christians can have a sense of humor about life and about themselves.” “Now, if either or both of you want to take a poke at me for putting you on with my tale of all the bad things that can happen to any of the Lord’s flock, whether they are believers or not, I’ll step outside with you. But I won’t fight back as I probably deserve a little comeuppance.” Well, that thought had briefly crossed my mind because Harold really had me going, but a more powerful feeling was coming over me. The fact was that I was feeling very glad that none of those bad things had happened to my good friend, Harold. Obviously, Frank felt the same way because he simply reached out and gave Harold a strong bear-hug; and I noticed a few tear drops slowly rolling down his cheeks…tears of joy that our friend Harold was just fine. I ended up doing the same thing but, in the middle of the bear-hug, I said just loud enough for him and me to hear, “I love you like a brother, Harold, but, if you ever pull that kind of bullshit on me again, I promise I’ll beat you to a pulp or die trying.” Later, as I tried to sleep, I came to appreciate Harold even more than ever. To this day, I don’t know who the “little bird” was that said some in our regular group thought he was religious to a fault; I do know that it wasn’t me. It did occur to me, though, that when Harold would appear at the door and head for our table, we tended to clean up our language and the type of risqué, (and often ‘rank’) jokes often told when Harold wasn’t there. The thing that struck me though was that we never talked about it…we just did it automatically: And that was only due to our respect for Harold. He didn’t curse and, though he told a bunch of good jokes, none of them would be considered to be “offcolored.” And, after all, what was wrong with how Harold’s presence in our group caused us to clean up our acts a bit? Harold sure never said a word to any of us and, come to think of it, our little sessions didn’t suffer one little bit for lack of an overabundance of vulgar language. No, we always had a good time and Harold’s being there always added to the good times. The way Harold handled his beliefs is, in my opinion, how all humans should handle theirs. And I mean everyone…..from the staunchest believers to atheists, and everyone in between. Don’t “preach” to others who don’t share your views. Don’t think those whose beliefs differ from your own are “going straight to hell,” because they’re religion is “wrong.” Those who take that type of stance, and trying to impose their will and personal beliefs on others, are the ones who make religion a matter of contention; not a matter of contentment and well being. Is there really any truly “wrong religion,” as long as it works for the individual and does no harm to other beings?


On a very personal note, I want to share with you, my dear readers, that I am what has been titled an “agonistic.” I hope that doesn’t offend any of you but I won’t pretend to be something I’m not just to look good to other people. My personal “belief” is that everyone is entitled to do “whatever makes them feel right and gets them through the night.” Now, having shared that, I have to also say that I honestly admire, (and quite often envy), those people who have their strong religious beliefs and live their lives accordingly…and without trying to convince me of anything. Some of the best people I’ve known during my life (a good example being my old friend Harold) have had their own strong religious beliefs and have “blessed” many others by just being who they are. Harold, and many others like him, influence others by example; not by pontification. So, in summary, who am I to say who is right or wrong? Answer: I’m not…and I don’t. Well, may friends, I’m afraid that I’ve failed my good friend, Syd, who requested I “keep it light and short.” But I am who and what I am and my writing is what it is. Knowing her as I do, she’ll probably understand my expounding on what I believe is an important issue. If so, I’ll chat with you through my article in the next issue. Very best regards to each of you, “Uncle Ted”


Boost Your Mood with Your Food Now that summer is no longer quickly approaching but right upon us, we want to be in that good mood to enjoy all of the outdoor social fun that we can. In order to have the boost in your mood as well as the necessary energy to party till the sun goes down, you might need some minor tweaks to your diet. No worries, I will give you the guide map to finding the hidden treasure of a perfect summer. Just follow these six easy to alter diet changes. 1. Follow a diet rich in seafood, lean meats, nuts, low-fat dairy, whole grains, bean and legumes. Seafood can consist of shell fish, freshwater fish, and saltwater fish. Lean meats include lean pork and beef, skinless chicken and turkey. Choose smart carbs in the form of whole grain pasta, brown rice, and oatmeal. The most important addition is ALWAYS lots of fruits and veggies. This diet will leave you feeling fuller longer and ultimately satisfied…sure to put your mood in the positive zone. 2. Eat a balanced breakfast every day. I know that most of us are on the run, but with a little planning, you can make this an easy, always attainable goal. A balanced breakfast should consist of a form of lean protein, a whole grain and a source of fruit. Don’t worry; you can still have your morning coffee or cup of tea. Yet another mood booster. 3. After your morning coffee, keep in mind that you should not overdo it on the caffeine. If you find yourself reaching for a second cup of Joe, a caffeinated soda or an afternoon energy drink, you are probably going overboard. If you consume too much caffeine, it can make it harder to catch your zzz’s at night and definitely putting you on track for a bad mood. 4. Even though this next one isn’t something you eat, it is equally important. I can’t say it enough but exercise, exercise, exercise. Just by getting out and breaking a sweat daily, you can make the sun shine and brighten your overall mood. We all struggle with body image but with an endorphin high you keep your mood meter from running in the red and gain an always needed confidence boost. Taking that one step further; with making a few diet changes and exercising, you can maintain your weight within the healthy range, and keep your mood consistently happy and more able to focus on others in a positive way. 5. Everyone knows that spending time in the sun is a great way of getting a good healthy dose of Vitamin D and puts your mood on a serotonin high. Just make sure you don’t overdo it and always wear sunscreen. You just need 20 minutes exposure to 40% of your body, daily, to do the trick. Vitamin D can also be found in milk, salmon and other low-fat dairy products. 6. This leads us to our last alteration. We need to make sure we are getting plenty of Omega 3! Of course you can take a supplement for this, but I like getting it from my food. Fatty fish, flaxseed and walnuts are great sources for the miracle ingredient. So, eat up!


So, who wouldn’t want to be in a constant good mood?! When your mood is running high it becomes contagious to those around you. Looking at the bigger picture of this, imagine you in a great mood and those you surround yourself with in a good mood… sounds like the best spent summer night full of fun and laughter. This is the hidden treasure for endless summer nights and countless memories. Get on track today for an unforgettable season that can be treasured time and time again. While enjoying the company of all your favorite people, enjoy this fabulous appetizer… Nectarine, Procuitto and Arugula Bundles 4 cups lightly packed trimmed arugula 1 teaspoon oliveoil 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper 12 (1/2-ounce) slices proscuitto, each cut in half lengthwise 3 nectraines, each cut into 8 wedges (you can substitute plums or peaches) 1. Combine first 3 ingedients in a large bowl and toss gently to combine. Arrange 3 or 4 arugula leaves at 1 end of 1 proscuitto strip. Place 1 nectarine wedge on top of arugula; roll up. Place bundle, seam side down on a plate. Repeat with remaining arugula, proscuitto and nectarines. Makes 8 servings (servind size: 3 bundles)

Calories 79; Fat 3.5g.; Fiber 0.9g.

Melissa Newell


Do you know how your

facial

products work? I get a lot of questions during spa facials about the different products we use and what they do. I am going to breakdown the five basic steps to cleanse and moisturize your skin. There are five main skin types: normal, oily, dry, sensitive and combination. You want to determine which category your skin falls in to. Normal – Not oily or dry, suffers from very little acne Oily – Greasy feeling, suffers from little to severe acne Dry – Tight, itchy, flakey skin, tends to get irritated easily Sensitive – Irritates easily, can be red and suffer from rosacea Combination – Oily in the T-Zone and normal/dry everywhere else Step 1 - Cleaning your skin Some people think using a bar of soup is enough to clean and protect the skin. It does not. What it does is strip the skin of its natural barriers and leaves the skin dry. When you over-dry your skin, it makes your oil glands work harder and overproduce oil. This can lead to your skin feeling oily and cause further breakouts. What you want to use is a skin cleanser, whether it be creamy or gel, that is suitable for your skin type. If your skin tends to be normal to oily and break out, go with a gel cleanser. It helps break down the oils that are partly causing the breakouts. If your skin is more on the dry side or sensitive, you want to use a creamy cleanser. This helps moisturize skin while cleaning. If you wear a lot of makeup, it's not a bad idea to use a gentle makeup remover first; then use an appropriate cleanser. Sometimes only cleaning your skin once does not remove all the makeup and can cause breakouts. Make sure you wash your face morning and night with your cleanser and warm water. Step 2 – Exfoliating What does this mean? This means manually removing the old dead skin cells with a facial scrub. As we age, our cell turnover slows and the skin looks dull. We need to assist our skin in removing the old dead skin cells and exposing the new bright skin underneath. It's good to use a facial scrub 2-3 times a week. This cleans out your pores of the dirt and oil that gets trapped. You can't actually shrink your pores. However by using a scrub regularly, you can make them appear smaller; plus it makes your skin look more bright and refreshed. You want to make sure the scrub is gentle and not too abrasive. Invigorate your skin by using circular motions as you scrub. You don't want to use a lot of pressure because you can damage the skin and make microscopic scratches. You can also use a soft natural bristle brush for dry exfoliation. Once you have exfoliated, this will allow the products you use after to penetrate the new skin cells more effectively. It also improves blood circulation. Step 3 – Masks How do masks benefit your skin? Depending on your skin type, masks can help with acne, moisturize your skin, hydrate, tighten, introduce essential vitamins, antioxidants, etc. If you do have acne, you want to go with a sulfur/clay-based mask. If your mask has a salicylic acid in the ingredients, this is a good thing. Salicylic acid helps fight your acne. You have dry/sensitive skin; you want to stick with a creamy, moisturizing mask. If you want to tighten or give your skin a glow, go with a gel-based mask. Creamy or gel types of masks work well on normal skin as well. You only need to mask 1-2 times a week. It's great to do after exfoliating because the good nutrients and vitamins are able to penetrate deeper into your skin. It is also fun to make your own facial masks at home. There are a lot of fun recipes online.


Step 4 – Toner What does toner do? After doing all of the above items our skin, the pH level of our skin needs to be rebalanced. Using a toner removes any remaining residue from your makeup, cleanser and/or your mask. It protects the skin and tightens your pores. Read the label to find out which toner is appropriate for your skin type. I have heard older more mature skin does not need to use toner. I still feel it will give a benefit to your skin at any age. Use daily. Step 5 – Moisturizer This is one of the most important steps you don't want to miss. Moisturizers are used to hydrate and protect your skin. Moisturizers put vitamins and minerals into the skin that will benefit you now and in the future. Though there are a lot of different vitamins in your moisturizers, the great ones to look for is Vitamin C, A and E. Older more mature skin needs a heavier moisturizer than someone in their teens. If your moisturizer has sunscreen as one of the ingredients, that is good. It saves you a step. I hope this has been helpful in determining what facial products are right for you. Of course your skin can benefit from various serums and other products out there, but this gives a good start with good skin care practices at home. It’s up to you on how you want your skin to look otherwise we would get facials every day, right??? Enjoy your day! Leslie P Sagers Master Esthetician


BeyondDANCE Find Your Life… Live BeyondDANCE

BeyondDANCE Find Your Life… Live BeyondDANCE

BeyondDANCE Find Your Life… Live BeyondDANCE

BeyondDANCE Find Your Life… Live BeyondDANCE

BeyondDANCE Find Your Life… Live BeyondDANCE

BeyondDANCE Find Your Life… Live BeyondDANCE

BeyondDANCE Find Your Life… Live BeyondDANCE


Did I Fail? Kari Woods I have contemplated for a few weeks now on how to start this article. I started asking myself—why is this so hard for me? Well first of all, what is it that I’m trying to write about? Last time I wrote to you we left off with me moving to California to run a salon and live my dreams. I had talked about how I had finally made a decision and chose a path. I was moving forward. But turns out, I do not enjoy running a corporate salon doing only haircuts. So I choose a different path. Did I make the right choice? Did I Fail? What was I going to do next? Will it work out? Some of my responsibilities at the salon were to make schedules and do paper work. But the part I will miss the most was our monthly meetings. I say miss the most because I have chosen a new path, but we will get to that in a bit. At these monthly meetings, I was able to get my employees together, inspire them, and get them pumped about being at work and bettering themselves. We did monthly evaluations, and they were able to see where they stood. I did personal incentives (gift cards or pedicures) to inspire them to sell more products and do a better job all around. But turns out that was also the hardest part—trying to inspire people that are not ready or willing or even capable of being inspired. Is this what inspires me? They would complain about coming in early or show up late, or sometimes not show up at all. I asked other people to come in and teach classes to try and inspire them. I was also dealing with disgruntled clients and the pressure from corporate to meet numbers. Not doing color any more was really getting to me. I wasn’t able to express my creativity any more. All of these things were coming down on me. I started to feel less inspired every day. I was feeling like I didn’t belong there anymore. All of these things were starting to push me in a different direction. When I first decided to move out here and run this salon, I had it in my head that I was going to be opening multiple salons. Hiring, training, and moving on to the next—but I was told they wanted me to stay in one place. And the words I told my friends back home kept repeating in my head, “If it doesn’t work, at least it got me here.” I always believed that I needed to be here. And I can now see that I needed to do this for more reasons than to open a silly little salon. After moving, I got away from the way I was living, drinking, and staying out late. After I moved my whole life changed. If I had not moved, I would have never made the choice to better my life. Quit drinking, quit smoking, no more late nights, no more random me—I became the best me I could. But had I not taken the chance, I would have never moved forward. So the opportunity announced itself for them to replace me, and I had to take it. I decided that I had learned a lot and was ready for my next stepping-stone. I met some great people


who have inspired me to become a Redken educator. And be in a salon that I can ROCK some color, and to continue to inspire people to do better, but without the stress. So did I fail? Did I make a mistake and totally screw up my life? Well, I have no clue. But how can it be failing if I’m bettering my life and moving forward. As long as I’m doing what inspires me, HAIR! And I keep learning from each experience and remembering that they are all stepping-stones to my next.


Ask

Syd

Dear Syd, I am really struggling right now and thought maybe you could help to clear my head. I have been reading your SYDgiRl Blog Magazine and have really felt relief knowing that I am not alone in wondering how to find myself. I so badly want a better life, but can’t seem to let go of things I have done in my past! How do I move on from my past, to a future I have no idea how to create? Katrina Hunt Seattle, Washington Katrina, Thank you for your compelling question. First, everyone makes mistakes in life, some are bigger than others, but we all mess up sometimes. Allowing yourself to feel remorse for errors you have made is a normal thing in life, but allowing yourself to forgive you, move one and do better next time, is a very difficult thing for many people to actually accomplish. I truly believe that the mistakes we make in life are not really mistakes, but opportunities to learn how alter, re-adjust and how to create the life we really want. The mistakes we make are our Blue Prints in life. They are our guidelines and directions in how to build a better foundation and how to correct what we have done incorrectly. They are our opportunities to move towards brilliance. When you can take the mistakes you have made in your life and flip them into your own personal learning opportunities, you will find that making mistakes in the future won’t make you feel so terrible, but will actually inspire you to learn more. You will also find that it helps you to apologize when needed, without feeling like you have just let down the entire world. You realize that you just created more opportunity for you to grow learn and do better the next time. “SYD”


GOALS Hello my fellow SYDgiRl readers. Hope all is well on you guys’ end. So today I would like to discuss accomplishing goals. Not just any average goal, though, I'm talking about a goal that did not sit well with you. A goal that maybe you thought there's no way that you could/would accomplish. But now you are so happy that you did. From a diet to learning to speak another language—whatever it may be. Me, personally, a goal that I'm glad that I accomplished was graduating high school and earning that high school diploma. Oh, and by the way, just so you guys can know, school was not really my cup of tea growing up. It took a lot of hard work and self discipline on my part to succeed in graduating. You guys know how it was when we were kids; we just thought that we knew it all and had the answer to everything (little did we know), lol.

What was the outcome of this horrific battle that I had endured you may be asking yourself? Well believe it or not, but I am so happy that I was able to earn that diploma and walk with my class. Not only for myself, but also for my wonderful parents who pushed me to my limits and who believed in me. And for that, I felt that I did not want to disappoint them. Not to mention the $20,000 extra a year that a high-school-graduate earns, as opposed to a non-graduate. That was a nice motivation also, lol. It is always good to have someone by your side that can help positively motivate you. I thought to myself, and said to myself, I said, "Self, why not put an effort into this? It’s a small price to pay to know that by completing this, life could be much easier." And wallah, it has helped me get further in life. I got a good paying job, which led to meeting good people, which led to giving me a better outlook on life. Now doesn’t that sound good?


I would like to hear from you readers about that goal that has changed your life. Did you want to give up? Did you have a negative response to the thought of this goal at first? What was it that made you decide to go through with it and give it 110%? I know that there are people who are sitting there still wondering, twirling their thumbs, with their goals floating around in the air above their heads. For those people out there, let me tell you something...REACH OUT AND GRAB THAT GOAL!!!!! Life is too short, people. We are only getting older but wiser. So why not take that wisdom that you have been blessed with and put it to use? Trust me, you never know where life is gonna take you. But you do have the power to point yourself in that right direction so that life can have some kind of idea of where it is that you want to go, so that you can live happily ever after. After all isn't that everybody's goal, to live happily ever after? Thank you so much for taking time to read SYDgiRl. Till fingers and keyboard meet again. Dj.G1


SYDgiRl June-July 2012