CONT E NTS
N E WS A N A LYS I S
HUMOR
01 RPI & Study Abroad: Now It’s Complicated 04 Toilet Bowl 05 3D Super Bowl 10 Senate Democrats Go on Filibuster Retreat 11 Don’t Worry, We’re Fixing Global Warming 12 Romantic Advise for the Overly Stupid 15 How to Best Initiate a Romance with Your Cat
E D I TO R I A L
06 So, My Girlfriend is a Witch
FO RT NI G H TLY FOTO
EMPAC is going through puberty! Preparation is going on for Our Town, the first student play ever. March 9-11, www.ourtown360.net
C U LT U R E
E N T E RTA I N M E N T
09 A Very Sexless Analysis of Softcore Pornography 14 S&W’s Valentine Crossword of Love
STAF F Editor-in-Chief Noah Tebben Managing Editor Izzi Cain Business Manager Chester Kowalski
E D I TO R I A L
STA FF PH OTO Statler & Waldorf | Rensselaer Union Room 3314 | 110 8th St. | Troy, NY 12180 | sw@union.rpi.edu | Mini-Issue 17.2 | February 2017 Statler & Waldorf is published while classes are in session by the students of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute under the authority of the Rensselaer Student Union. It is provided to the community at no charge. Opinions expressed within this publication are not necessarily those of the staff or Editorial Board of Statler & Waldorf, the Rensselaer Student Union, or Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. Pieces in the Humor section are satirical in nature and do not necessarily refer to real places or people. These pieces are for entertainment value only. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions in compliance with the Statler & Waldorf Style Guide. All submissions should be sent to sw@union.rpi.edu. Please see our webpage, [http://sw.union.rpi.edu], for more information.
i STATLER & WALDORF • MINI-ISSUE 17.2 • FEBRUARY 2017
Culture Editor Alex Zylka Humor Editor Peter Wood News Editor Parth Bhide Op-Ed Editor Oleg Yakovets Selections Editor Kevin Phoenix
DESIGN
Copy & Composing Editor Alex Zylka Copy & Composing Editor Jr. Izzi Cain Webmaster Kevin Phoenix Webmaster Jr. Peter Wood
CONTRIBUTING MEMBERS
Kristan Tate, Dr. Bathroom, Bobby Martino, Lt. Snow Snake, The Association for Truth, Joe Iaquinto