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swine swinburne student union | issue 2 | april 2012 |

SSAF: WTF? the SSA-Fee joy continues

Live Music

Bon Iver & Enter Shikari

Media vs. Piracy The moral pirate within

Kony Swindle

How we all got screwed

Imitation Market

The dangers of a ‘legal high’


events&nightlife comedynight

Union Tuesdays! Comedy nights, Quizmeisters Trivia, movie nights, and just great times! Open every Tuesday night from 6:00pm, Level 3 UN Building @ Hawthorn (above the bookshop). Get amongst it! 2

swinburne student union the swine april 2012


theswineteam SSU Media Committee Media Officer Editor-in Chief of ‘The Swine’ James Murphy James is studying Bachelor of Arts (Politics & Public Policy) and has lost his wallet in over 15 countries across the world.

Managing Editor Alyssa Woo Alyssa is studying Bachelor of Arts (Media) and is exactly 22 months younger than her brother.

Lead Designer Leesa Ward Leesa is studying Bachelor of Arts (Digital Media) and owns 23 pairs of Dr. Martens.

Copy Editor Robert Lyall Rob is studying Bachelor of Arts (Politics & Public Policy) despite almost failing English.

Marketing, Revenue & Distribution Officer Caroline Baker Caroline is studying Bachelor of Commerce and can also be heard on Reverse Radio, 12-1pm on Thursdays on 3SSR Swinburne Student Radio.

Radio & Clubs Coordinator Matthew Latham

get amongst it! get published in the swine! We’re always on the lookout for articles to publish in ‘The Swine.’ Whether it be an opinion piece about something that really grinds your gears, talking about an experience you had as part of your course, a review of a film you just saw, or commentary about a social issue, we want to hear from you. Please contact us by email at What are you waiting for? A written invitation? You have one, so get on it!


imitation market the dangers of a legal high


winter fashion


WTF is going on with the SSAF now?


read these or die


across the pond


dumpling noodle soup $10 budget recipe

Student News

Creative Arts


Your Union Reps............................................... 6

Art by Renee Graham..................................... 18

We’re not in Kansas Anymore: The Obligatory Address from the Union President................. 7


Having an absolute copper nanotube of a day? Dr Shamrock investigates............................... 28

WTF is going on with the SSAF now?............ 8

News & Politics A Letter to Margaret Court from SSU’s Queer Rep.............................................. 13 Kony Swindle: Have we been taken for a ride?.......................................................... 14 Imitation Market: The Dangers of a ‘Legal High’.................................................................. 15 Wikileaks: High-tech terrorists or government watchdogs?....................................................... 16 The Moral Pirate within: is piracy really all that bad? .......................................................... 17

Bon Iver at Sydney Myer Music Bowl........... 20

Survival Guide

Enter Shikari at Billboard............................... 21

Why I joined the Union (it’s not just about the parties).............................................................. 29

Across the Pond............................................... 22

The Dreaded Morning After.......................... 30

Album Reviews................................................ 23



Winter Woes: What to Wear this Season..... 31

10 Books to Read Before You Die.................. 24

Time Out

Food & Drink

Horror-scopes.................................................. 32

The Minzu Review: Chester White............... 26

Social Commentary

$10 Budget Recipe: Dumpling Noodle Soup..................................................... 27

Beauty and Art................................................. 34

The Vitals All the dates you need to know..................... 35

Matty is studying Bachelor of Arts (Politics) and can be heard on Molte Bene, 8-9pm on Fridays on 3SSR - Swinburne Student Radio.

swinburne student union the swine april 2012




your union reps Secretariat President

Mark Briers

Vice President/Education Officer Matthew Landolfo


James Searle

Access & Equity Officer

Nicole Robinson

Croydon Campus Chair


Hawthorn Campus Chair

Brendan Spackman Williams

Lilydale Campus Chair

Gemma Melville

Prahran Campus Chair

Brice Chappell

Wantirna Campus Chair


we’re not in kansas anymore the obligatory address from the union president

Representatives TAFE/Apprentices & Traineeships Rep


Queer Rep

Andrew Morison

Women’s Rep

Melanie Orvis

International Rep

Meit Shah

Mature Age Rep


Part-Time Rep

Aimee McCarten

Postgraduate Rep

Elizabeth Rowe

Undergraduate Rep

Xiao Tian Lim

Disability Support Rep

Oliver Hausler

Indigenous Rep

Megan Kelleher

Men’s Welfare Officer

Langley Tay

Environment & Sustainability Officer

Zoe Glen-Norman

Swinburne International Student Association (SISA) President

Meit Shah

Vice President/Education Officer

Devashish Dutta Baruah



Access & Equity Officer


Swinburne University Postgraduate Association (SUPA) President

Elizabeth Rowe

Vice President/Education Officer VACANT




Access & Equity Officer

Marcus Lingham

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

Last time I told you high school was over, this time I’m telling you that were not in Kansas anymore. I hope you are kicking goals with your studies, making loads of friends who you will take through life and getting well and truly amongst campus life.

a cent of funding from the university. A big thank you to everyone who threw on a street team tee-shirt and gave up some time to help build a good campus culture here at Swinburne, a culture that has been lacking for some years.

of their myswinburne account. No one but the Union questioned this, and no one but the union can claim a victory for having everyone’s accounts reinstated. This is one of many reasons students are the in best place to control student affairs. In a world without the union, the university is free to do what it likes which will in many cases be at the expense of students.

The SSAA receives something to the tune of It’s been a massive month for Swinburne and $3 million from the university annually and especially the union. We’ve already signed the university has indicated to us they wish to up over 1000 people, the biggest in over five give them more from the revenue of the SSAyears, I remind you it was only two years ago Good luck with the rest of your semester, Fee everyone had to pay this year. I ask; what the union had 12 members and was on the keep up the good work. If there’s something brink of collapse. A massive thank you and have they done with it? not congratulations to all who joined with us in wanting to make Swinburne the Hub of student life, student media and “Imagine if the Union had $1 million, what we could student control of student affairs.

achieve considering all we have done with nothing but our students know what’s best for

We’ve already had a massive party at shoelaces and a belief that only the Hawthorn Hotel, attended by over 600 people, we’ve been laughing our students” asses off at the Swinburne comedy festival, and though I hate early mornings, it’s been great scoffing down Imagine if the Union had $1 free breakfast every morning! THAT’S NOT ALL! Coming up this semester we have million, what we could achieve considering another great party! Not to mention movie all we have done with nothing but our shoe nights, trivia nights and don’t ever forget you laces and a belief that only students know what’s best for students. This was proven free snag at the SSU BBQ every Thursday! earlier this year when Swinburne locked I remind everyone, we do this all without every student who hadn’t payed this tax out

going right or something we’re not doing right make sure you come and see us, our door is always open and we want to hear from you! Never give up the fight for student control over control student affairs.

swinburne student union the swine april 2012




studentnews from the survey page. The only way students can find either page is if they are given a link. •

wtf is going on with the ssaf now? 5.


Shortly after the article went to print, Swinburne was ranked ‘NUS Condemned’ by the National Union of Students on its handling of the SSA-Fee distribution. Only three universities were named and shamed this way, Monash and Wollongong being the other two.


‘Other’ (Student Union, clubs/activities, academic advocacy)

You can find the full information at Whilst these priorities may seem sensible at first glance, Swinburne hasn’t provided information about the current levels of funding for each area. All the priority areas deserve to be well funded as they all deliver important services. However, areas like the health service, careers & employment and counselling are already quite well funded.

After months of pressure from the Student Union, Swinburne published ranked priorities on their website on the 23rd of March. These are the priorities they’ve listed: 1.

Supporting sporting or other recreational activity by students (improved sporting facilities and funds for sports clubs)

how much new funding each area will receive. From the information provided, it could be $1 or $100,000. In contrast, the University of Melbourne provided detailed information about current and proposed funding under the SSA-Fee for each area and organisation, including tables, graphs and pie charts. Swinburne asked students for feedback on these priorities (the consultation period closed on the 6th of April) however it’s difficult for a student to provide meaningful feedback when fundamental information is missing.

There are numerous other problems with the current consultation process, including:

“Swinburne was ranked ‘NUS Condemned’ by the National Union of Students on its handling of the SSA-Fee distribution”

Promoting the health or welfare of students (counselling, health promotion, disability support)


Helping students obtain employment or advice on careers


Helping students with their financial affairs (student loans and financial advice)


Helping students secure accommodation (improve the off-campus housing service)

The areas listed under the lowest priority ‘Other’ are amongst the least funded currently. Why is the Student Union (and most other areas that effect campus culture) the lowest priority? There isn’t even a mention of student media. If Swinburne has its way, there won’t be any funding to print a magazine like the one you’re reading now. There is also no information provided about

The participants were self-selecting. The survey was not distributed to all students. Only organisations with a stake in the outcome (like the SSU and SSAA) distributed the survey.

The survey cannot be found by searching the Swinburne website and there is no link back to the priority information

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

There is no information provided about how the process will proceed or where the data will go following the closure of the survey.

When the SSA-Fee legislation passed, the government provided Higher Education Providers with draft representation guidelines. These guidelines state how universities should

“The areas listed under the lowest priority, ‘Other’, are the least funded currently” •

In February I wrote about Swinburne’s handling of the SSA-Fee. At that time the University had been collecting the fee for six weeks with no information provided about how it would be spent.

The providers of each service are not explicitly mentioned. For example, under the first priority, it lists ‘expansion of the free breakfast service’. At Hawthorn, this is an ongoing Student Union initiative, run by students for students. It is not clear from the priorities published whether the University intends to fund the Student Union to expand this service or whether it intends to compete with the Student Union as it has with other services.

days only during one of the busiest times for students. Of these days, only 8 were academic days. The final two days of the period coincide with Easter Thursday and Good Friday.

The questions on the feedback form are open-ended and confusing. All three questions ask essentially the same thing. They are text only with no metrics or scales. It will be difficult to aggregate the responses into any kind of meaningful information. The consultation period was open for 14

does not agree with this assessment and has stated that they are in compliance. It’s true that Swinburne has now complied with the minimum requirements for consultation under the guidelines; however it’s also true that almost every other university has published more information on their intentions than Swinburne has. Even Monash, who were also rated ‘NUS Condemned’, published detailed information about the break-up of the revenue long before it began its consultation process.

The Student Union will be asking for a second round of consultation, this time with detailed information about current and proposed funding amongst and information about which organisation will deliver each service.

consult and engage with their student cohort on how the revenue from the SSA-Fee is spent. The guidelines do not come into legal effect until January 2013 but universities have been encouraged to comply with them in the meantime. Before the priorities were published, the Student Union accused Swinburne of failing to comply with the guidelines. Swinburne

You can read the draft representation guidelines at http:// Programs/StudentSupport/ StudentServicesandAmenities/Pages/Home. aspx.

To keep up to date on what’s happening with the SSA-Fee, visit WTFSwinburne. JAMES SEARLE

swinburne bungles SSA-Fee implementation So, remember that $263 new fee we all had to pay this year? It was due to be paid or deferred by the 2nd of March. Newly enrolled students were mostly OK with this as they would have paid or deferred the fee on their enrolment day however returning students needed to make a special trip to their faculty office in the first week of semester to defer the fee. There weren’t any reminder letters sent out so as should have been expected many (over 1,300) students did not make arrangements for the SSA-Fee in time and subsequently had their My.Swinburne accounts locked. This occurred on a Sunday evening, the day before Labour Day. Being a public holiday (although still an academic day) no administration staff were at work on Monday, which meant that students in their second week of classes had

no access to the online portal service for at least 48 hours. To their credit, after our friends at the Student Union raised the issue with the ViceChancellor, Swinburne worked quickly to fix the problem; moving the due date to the 26th of March and manually unblocking all the accounts over the next few days. This sorry situation never should have happened in the first place. Swinburne clearly wasn’t ready to begin charging the SSA-Fee in Semester 1. The student consultation had barely begun and the systems to process the fee weren’t in place. They should have waited for Semester 2, as some other unis like RMIT have. And why did they make the SSA-Fee census date different from the HECS-HELP

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

census date in the first place? It wouldn’t have made a difference if they’d waited, since they haven’t even doled out any of the cash yet and don’t intend to until at least mid-April. The Student Services and the Student Union haven’t seen an extra cent yet, so this semester has been doomed to the same old lacklustre events and services we see every year. Presumably the fees collected since January have been earning interest in Swinburne’s bank account since the beginning of the year. This is students’ money that Swinburne is making a profit from. Will Swinburne reinvest the interest earned into student services and amenities? It’d be very surprising.


Swinburne University of Technology Hawthorn Campus

Swinburne Indigenous Student Network A student-designed and -operated online platform for connecting and representing Swinburne’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander student community.

An online network created by you, for you! Your opportunity to participate in developing a new student-run initiative which aims to establish or build on relationships amongst the Swinburne ATSI student community, together with students of a non-indigenous background. Key aims:  

to increase the presence of the indigenous student population on Hawthorn’s campus to provide opportunities for students to discuss and raise awareness about indigenous issues that concern and effect them.

Together, we can learn about and actively raise awareness of indigenous culture and values, and share that knowledge with the wider Swinburne community. There will be activities, events, projects and outings - all intended to develop awareness of indigenous culture and values. It’s all up to you! The bigger the mob, the more ideas that we can work with. So get on board!

The happiest students are the ones who feel supported, connected and involved.

Swinburne Indigenous Student Network Swinburne University of Technology Hawthorn Campus Contact:


a letter to margaret court from the SSU queer rep Dear Margret Court,

rather, the person that it supposedly worked upon are then in denial about their sexual orientation once again. I am also aware that you are of the opinion that same sex attraction is the result of sexual abuse. This is also false, and I am quite

aforementioned, ignoring the parts that talk about how important it is to love one another.

curious to know where such an ridiculous idea comes from, as this certainly isn’t the case with myself, any of my same sex attracted friends, or indeed anyone else that I might have heard of.

partner, it sends out the message that same sex attracted persons don’t deserve the same rights as heterosexual persons. This reinforces the idea that same sex attracted persons are lesser beings than heterosexual persons, and in turn can lead to suicide by those who cannot deal with their own sexual preferences.

Recently there have been a number of articles Regarding the topic of same sex marriage either written by or quoting you, speaking out itself, I am troubled by the thought that by against same sex marriage. In addition to this, not having the right to marry ones chosen you speak about same sex attraction in these articles as if it is something wrong, or to be removed out of our society. While I strongly believe “I cannot help that feel that citing the bible in reference, is doing in freedom of speech, in this case yours, it is only fair that others have nothing more than cherry picking the parts that match your the opportunity to express their opinions” disagreement, particularly since I am worried about the impact your words may have. In particular I am concerned that your words may have a negative impact upon those who hear them. I personally came out of the closet a number of years ago. It was because of the negative things that those who share your views would say that I stayed in the closet for so long. Of course upon coming out I was no more different a person than before, save for the fact I was accepting myself. While today I am quite happy with whom I am, I find nothing more heartbreaking than to meet someone who is still in the closet, or to discover a friend whom I may have thought was straight is actually, same sex attracted and really not comfortable with who they are. Sadly, some people cannot handle being in this position and instead choose to take their lives, and thus their families and friends have to cope with such tragedy. I’m sure that you will agree with me that this should not happen, yet negative comments such as yours help to make persons whom choose to take such actions decide to do so. I am aware that you do speak in favour of therapies that “make” people heterosexual, but I am certain that such treatments do not work and

Of course you do say that your set of morals do come from the bible. However, growing up in a religious family I was always under the impression that the most important thing one could learn from the bible was to care and love one another, rather than the idea that a same sex attracted person is bad. Indeed when I was facing the difficulties of coming out, it did sometimes feel as though I was having to choose between hating myself, while at the same time pretending to be something that I wasn’t, or having the rest of the world hate me for who I really was. In reality those being less accepting were those vocal persons sharing your views. While I can say with all honesty that it is likely that I am not as familiar with the bible as you are, I cannot help that feel that citing the bible in reference, is doing nothing more than cherry picking the parts that match your opinions, and given the actions taken by some as

I merely hope that you consider your words more carefully, as a result of the effect that it may have upon others. Regards,

“I personally came out of the closet a number of years ago. It was because of the negative things that those who share your views would say that I stayed in the closet for so long”

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

Andrew Morison Queer Representative Swinburne Student Union




kony swindle have we been taken for a ride? “KONY 2012”; the half hour documentary produced by Invisible Children tapped into the power of the media in order to reach a global audience. The documentary was based upon a Uganda warlord called Joseph Kony who was responsible for enslaving more than 30,000 children. It stated that if awareness was raised for the warlord, he could be found. However, was it all just one big scam?

a post, none of which is going towards any sort of cause. By consistently posting every few minutes in areas like Fashion, Games or popular sites such as Twitter, they have made millions on this nonsense and targeted us as consumers. We must ask ourselves if this cause really benefits the children of Uganda. Recently, Tullow Oil has found over $50 billion worth of oil in Northern Uganda. Is this just a coincidence? While the Invisible Children is a legitimate charity, they are keeping a majority of the profit for themselves and are being used by oil companies

Fortunately, more and more people are slowly starting to catch on. @Konyscam on Twitter stated yesterday that “it’s evident that The Invisible Children care more about money than they care about these children that they claim need help a.s.a.p.” The twitter account now has 118,694 followers whom are now aware that Invisible Children’s tactics are indeed a scam. However, this awareness still isn’t enough. So what is the moral of the story? Don’t watch the video. Not only are you wasting half an hour of your day, you just end up giving money for the advertising funds they

The enslavement of children has been around for over two decades, so why is action towards the problem only being taken now? It’s because Kony is the object being used to create a scam. Kits have been made and sold online, “$13 million has been made, but only $3 million has including a t-shirt, bracelets, actually gone to Uganda. Invisible Children paid themselves a action guide, stickers and posters; however they are making only massive salary” money off them for themselves. $13 million has been made but only $3 million has actually gone to Uganda, that’s only 31% of the money and banks to encourage American military receive for themselves and are raised. involvement in Uganda. therefore allowing the scam to continue. As @ Konyscam stated on March 9th “Why would After the video was made, Invisible Children Ugandan citizens are beginning to feel you donate to an organization that gives only paid themselves a massive salary. They also offended, stating that “if people …. care 1/3 of its profit to its cause?” make money on the advertisements on sites about us, they will not wear shirts with such as YouTube and Facebook. They’re Joseph Kony’s face on it. They celebrate our jessica howard earning money every time someone shares suffering”.


swinburne student union the swine april 2012

imitation market

the dangers of a ‘legal high’ The label read K2, the warning read may cause hallucinations if inhaled. This could be seen as more of an instruction than a warning. I started laughing at the gall a person would need to create such a product. It’s known as the legal high. Imitation marijuana packaged and sold as incense and being sold in adult stores and tobacconists, sometimes openly.

Next to it was a closed cupboard displaying available cigarettes and prices. The sweet irony – Tobacco locked up out of sight while synthetic dope sits innocently out in the open. The drugs are available in many different flavours and must be paid for by cash with no receipt. I’m told the prices are similar to street-sold marijuana. Professor Copeland feels that due to the distribution of these products, potential customers

“You get high within seconds, it only lasts an hour, and it’s a lot more stronger - a lot more full on.” The user said, “I know someone who started panicking one time and had an anxiety attack.” Out of about 20 people the K2 user knows to have smoked it, about three have had more severe reactions. Professor Copeland is concerned about the effects of smoking these imitations. “It’s having all the kinds of effects that one would

Those smoking it the most tend to be teenagers and young adults, who often think it is perfectly legal. I found this hard to believe “The sweet irony - tobacco locked up out of sight while and quickly discovered that they had in fact become illegal after an synthetic dope sits innocently out in the open” incident during mid 2011. It was found that a large proportion of the mining industry in Western expect with Australia were smoking these imitations and should employ “a healthy skepticism cannabis but taken up a notch because of the getting away with it simply because it wasn’t regarding the quality and accuracy of the strength of them” she said. “According to the showing up on drug tests. Some mines were health and legal information provided by literature, there have been reports of “acute detecting up to 30% of the workers having it retail staff ”. psychosis and also relapses for those who in their system. An anonymous user I spoke to said that when have experienced cannabis related psychosis” More than six months after becoming illegal, buying K2, there was a poster promoting it “There are a number of case series now of these imitations (the most common brands up on the wall. “They sold it over the counter young people now ending up in accidents and are K2, Spice and Kronic) are still being sold and there was nothing to make me think it in a way that has blurred the lines between was illegal,” he said. They found the packaging emergencies with severe hallucinations and high blood pressure and agitation.” Professor whether they are still legal or not. “It is confusing too. “It says on the packaging that understandable that people are confused to it’s an incense. It’s like they’re trying to make it Copeland remembers a story where “three some degree about the legal status of synthetic sound legal by saying that it’s an incense, not a seventeen-year-olds had heart attacks as a result of smoking these products.” cannabinoids, given they are marketed as legal thing you smoke to get high.” highs in some locations,” said Professor Jan These products are definitely illegal. But The product itself is a potpourris mixture Copeland, the director of National Cannabis the laws passed to prevent their use have of innocent herbs and spices, which are Prevention and Information Centre. not deterred users; indeed many are totally sprayed with chemicals known as synthetic oblivious to the fact these dangerous drugs I walked into an adult store myself to find cannabinoids that mimic the effects of illegal at all. Kronic sitting up on the wall behind the cannabis. The effects of the drug are much counter. harder hitting than marijuana and last for a daniel horsley shorter period.

swinburne student union the swine april 2012



news&politics the moral pirate within is piracy really all bad?

Everyone pirates these days. We’ve all downloaded something illegally, or shared something with friends, or even used something pirated. From watching a movie at your boyfriend or girlfriend’s house, to listening to your mate’s favourite new band he just found the ‘torrent’ for, it’s really easy to do so to, especially with download speed and limits on a rise as we push forth into the age of the Internet.

wikileaks: high-tech terrorists... ...or government watchdogs?

While I do concede that some of what beyond. “This distribution of information ‘Who watches the watchmen?’ Being a comic Wikileaks publishes could be considered a to the public has done much for keeping book fan I feel this quote is very close to risk to national security, in particular the governments and prominent private my heart. More importantly though, being 490,000 documents relating to the Iraq and organisations liable for their own actions. a politically minded individual I feel the Afghanistan war published in 2010, the Due to the very nature of Wikileaks question is very important and applicable to many situations. Who watch’s the government? This is where Wikileaks steps in. Through the help of its large “Wikileaks has managed to bring the secret actions of web of contributors, Wikileaks governments to light and revolutionize the playing field for has managed to bring the secret actions of governments to light freedom of information in a way that nothing has since the and revolutionize the playing field Pentagon Papers of 1971” for freedom of information in a way that nothing has since the Pentagon Papers of 1971. Their activism started in 2006 with the publication of documents that permitted the assassination of government officials signed by a prominent Somali sheik. Their first big break however was in November 2007, with the publication of Guantanamo bay protocol documents that revealed that some prisoners were kept out of bounds from Redcross advisers, a fact that the US government had repeatedly denied. Since then the organization

it is not very surprising that governments and private organizations aren’t very willing to align themselves or provide support to the organization. This only enhances Wikileaks’ image as a force for good, due to the fact that for the most part it runs off of the donations and support of the ordinary person. Indeed, much of the support they do receive comes from the

“If no one watches the governments, we’ll be the ones that pay when they stuff up”

has published documents ranging from Sarah Palins emails to Scientology bibles and

Internet educated youth that forms much of our generation.

information that the general public does glean from these documents make the trade-off more than worth it. For examples of the brutal truths that these documents tell, do a Google search for the video Collateral Murder, a leaked video that shows the twitchy trigger fingers of some American pilots in Iraq. It is a prime example of how, through the dispersal of government documents, informed opinions of real issues can be formed and people can get a better idea of the terrible things their governments are capable of. As a believer in the power of nonprofit organizations like this and a believer of social change, I would implore you to take a look at the mission of this organistion and form your own opinions. If no one watches the governments, we’ll be the ones that pay when they stuff up.

Almost all of us have internet connections, in fact the Australian Bureau of Statistics tell us that 73% of homes had a broadband connection in 2011. That’s 6.2 million homes. With so many people connected it’s no surprise that we share online. No doubt you would have heard about the shutdown of the site MegaUpload, or the lawsuit against peer-to-peer sharing site The Pirate Bay. If you followed these stories closely, the fear-mongering from US politicians and officials would have come up. Major sites like Wikipedia protested in support of a free internet, by shutting down their site for 24 hours. Even President Obama got in on the act, saying that he would block a proposed bill to censor the internet if it made it to Congress. All downloading of copyrighted material without permission from the holder is a form of theft. All artists, be they film-

landmark court case in 2010 involving iiNet and 34 film studios. The studios took iiNet to court, saying that it did nothing to prevent its customers from ‘illegally downloading’ content. If it had been a legal case, it would have been iiNet versus the state, rather than the film studios. If we think about it, the chances of getting caught by someone in a position to sue are low. For instance, MegaUpload, recently shut down by the US Department of Justice, was accessed by over 82 million different users. Is it reasonable to expect lawsuits against each individual?

going to cause the authors to lose money, because without the internet, these students would have never seen the work, or would have borrowed the book, which ends in the same monetary gain for the writer. Copyright laws in Australia have a term called ‘fair dealing’ which allows us to use copyrighted material for educational purposes under certain circumstances. Surely morally, if not legally, we can extend this grey area of the law to encapsulate the plight of a financially poor student?

When it comes to music or film, the ease of which we can access this media with the internet is a positive. By saturating ourselves Furthermore, not all of those users who with music or film, the poorer work gets accessed MegaUpload infringed copyright. filtered out from the quality. This in turn leads Swinburne’s own Karen Savage for instance, to a higher standard of media being produced used MegaUpload to share her work and by artists, because they are aware that if they information she had with colleagues. So if want to make it, they have to shine much anytime anybody wants to launch a lawsuit more brightly than the others, all of which against someone for accessing certain are available at the click of a button. Most websites, they will have to consider the sheer people, if they really enjoy an artist, will pay numbers of users who do the same and then to go and see them, pay for a CD or a t-shirt determine what exactly they downloaded in at the show, or purchase the DVD for their order to have a case. What makes this harder collection because they love it. Having it all as well is that Internet Service Providers available on the internet allows artists to reach (ISPs) have the right to delete customer’s people they wouldn’t have been able to before, information, at least in Australia. The and having their work ‘stolen’ is turning out government has proposed a data retention profitable in the long run. Notable examples of popular bands that have realised this are Nine Inch Nails and Radiohead, who both “Surely morally, if not legally, we can extend this grey area released albums which where free for download, but could also be of the law to encapsulate the plight of a financially poor purchased by fans. This led to massive hype for both bands, and student?” led to an expansion of their fan base. This worked because they knew people were going to obtain scheme, but under the current privacy laws their albums for free regardless. makers, it would be illegal, which sent the plan back to musicians, authors and even coders of Internet copyright infringement, commonly the drawing board. computer programs need to make money known as piracy, is illegal. But for you, the from their work to survive, despite the fact Despite massive rallies against internet piracy, individual, it is more of a moral issue. Your that most of them do not ‘create’ to make is it really a bad thing all the time? Take for own consciences are the only real opposition money to begin with. But in the wake of example your average student. A lot of us to the individual downloading copyrighted all the hubbub, should you, a student and are living on small salaries, or relying on material. The internet has made everything a consumer, give a shit about what you Centrelink to get us by financially. Can we available to us easily and for free. This in download? really justify spending hundreds of dollars on turn has created a generation of far more schoolbooks in order to get us through our discerning consumers, meaning the standard In Australia, the issue of sharing content that time at university, when this money has to be of work must rise for it to be noticed above breaches copyright law is a civil issue, rather used to eat? It is a testament to the modern the crowd. If we can live with ourselves than a legal one. This means that if you are student’s adroitness to have harnessed the pirating, then society is better and freer caught downloading illegally you are liable to because of it. be sued, rather than being arrested or fined by internet as a financial aid by using it to find and distribute the required texts. This is not a law enforcement body. Take for instance the Adam van Geleuken

pieter clark 16

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

swinburne student union the swine april 2012




renee graham 18

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

swinburne student union the swine april 2012


enter shikari

bon iver

at billboard

at sydney myer music bowl

In the most ethereal of settings, Bon Iver mesmerized the sold out Melbourne audience who immersed themselves with the nine piece outfit. Justin Vernon was even more exquisite and powerful in the flesh than in the two records which brought the twelve thousand or so to Bon Iver’s biggest show yet.

“There aren’t too many live acts that you see in a year let alone a lifetime where you can say that you were absolutely captivated by the artist before you”

Opening with the bombastic Perth, it was blatantly obvious that Vernon was making full use of his new band that had helped him record his second album. The two thundering drum kits were a welcome surprise, they were a far cry from the relaxed nature of his albums. And while Vernon himself is the face of the band, it definitely wasn’t all about him. The presence of each and every member was felt with a number of sound scapes each combining with a stunning beauty that you might have expected. From the incredible saxophonist solo that went far too

transfixed with the wondrous displays of musicianship before them. Starting with songs largely from their selftitled second album, Flume was the first from For Emma, Forever Ago. Vernon did little interaction with the crowd but when he did what he had to offer was more than just mere audience chit-chat. Using a metaphor to measure time against your toothpaste tube before he held the stage alone for the resplendent Stacks was undoubtedly a highlight. In fact, the only word you could use to describe each song played is magnificence,

“The two thundering drum kits were a welcome surprise, they were a far cry from the relaxed nature of his albums” humanly long to the euphoric heights at the climactic end of Blood Bank, there was only one possible outcome for the audience; to be


or at least something to that effect. The crowd was robbed (or spared) of an

image: joe dilworth



encore as the band closed in on the ‘curfew’ and despite Vernon’s declaration that “we don’t fucking do curfews”, he relented to allow the crowd to revel in the remaining songs that he had to offer. While Skinny Love was an obvious crowd favourite, there was nothing more spectacular than hearing twelve thousand people sing; “what might have been lost” as directed. There aren’t too many live acts that you see in a year let alone a lifetime where you can say that you were absolutely captivated by the artist before you, to the point where you forget everything else around you and Bon Iver demands this kind of attention. At the conclusion of the gig, where Vernon himself seemed genuinely chuffed by the audience turn out and subsequent response, the only word you could use to describe what you had witnessed was ‘fuck’. Mind Blown. Corey Tonkin

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a huge Enter Shikari fan. I’d been looking forward to this gig for months. It would be the first time I heard any of the songs from their latest album, A Flash Flood Of Colour, played live.

“I’m pleased to note that the crowds have finally learned how to clap in time”

I moved up close for Enter Shikari’s set. Despite being stuck to the far left of the stage, a few people back from the barrier, I had the time of my life. The lads claimed to have gone from “jet lag to general insomnia” after flying from Japan straight to Australia without a break. Thankfully, they

followed suit, with plenty of opportunities for screaming lyrics and dubstep breakdowns. Sometimes it felt more like a party than a gig, and that’s never a bad thing. Another offering from the latest album, Search Party, and then the set took a change of pace. Singer Rou Reynolds picked up an acoustic guitar and

highlight. The crowd loved it, and so did the band. If you’ve never seen Enter Shikari perform, their gigs consist of plenty of running around, mayhem and crowd surfing, by crowd and band alike. Both Rou and guitarist Rory Clewlow indulged in crowd surfing, and I was able to touch Rory’s arm at one point. Fangirl moment. Sssnakepit ended the gig in spectacular fashion, since they played two versions of it, a remix and the original. These lads are fond of a good remix, and obviously their fans are too.

“If you’ve never seen Enter Shikari perform, their gigs consist of plenty of running around, mayhem and crowd surfing” didn’t let their exhaustion slow them down one bit. Opening with the epic combination of System… and Meltdown, the crowd was receptive and completely insane from the get-go. They followed with their most famous offering so far, Sorry You’re Not A Winner, and I’m pleased to note that the crowds have finally learned how to clap in time. Destabilise and Motherstep/Mothership

treated the crowd to a rendition of one of my favourite songs of AFFOC, Stalemate. This song really proves Rou’s talent as a singer rather than a screamer, and it was one of the highlights of the gig for me. Quelle Surprise and Juggernauts were chaotic, and by this point water was being poured all over the crowd by the wonderful security guards, and I couldn’t tell what was sweat and what was water.

This gig was the best way to spend a Tuesday night. I moshed, danced, sweated and sang until my throat hurt. There isn’t a better feeling than seeing your favourite band live and being able to interact with them. I hope Enter Shikari grace Australia’s shores again soon, a year and a half was too long to wait! I’d rate this gig 10/10, but let’s be honest, I’m a little biased.

Arguing With Thermometers was an absolute

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

Eleni Pitman




across the pond With two members of Tame Impala fame, Pond are ready to make it as their own entity with their latest album, Beard, Wives, Denim finally getting it’s release as we found out when the Swine caught up with Jay. There’s a huge possibility that you’ve probably never heard of Pond and it might be an even bigger surprise that they’re currently promoting their fourth album. Why have you never heard of the first three before? Well, aside from the fact that psychedelic rock isn’t really burning up the charts right now, as Jay, the drummer puts it; “The first two (albums) were just ridiculous, they were just like crazy Mighty Boosh sort of acid rock, I find them quite unlistenable really, but they were fun to make”. Not a glowing endorsement by any stretch, but Pond’s affiliation with Tame Impala and the success of Innerspeaker has greatly affected the release of Beard, Wives, Denim which was recorded way back in 2010. Two years is a long time waiting for a record to be released and while “logistical and contractual sort of things” was the reason given for the delay, Jay admits that “we probably wouldn’t be getting a look in if it wasn’t for Tame Impala. So I’m not kicking myself about that”. But for those wondering the difference between the two bands? “Pond is its own thing, it has its own personality. It’s more of a group effort, Tame Impala is more of Kevin’s thing. And it’s a bit sillier and not as well-crafted. That might be its strength, it’s shambolicness.” Calling it a “silly good time” is one thing and while admitting that the album does have some heavy themes Jay warns that; “if you expect it to be really serious, you probably won’t like it. There’s also songs on there that are just absolutely about nothing, that we thought were funny.” The title of the album, Beard, Wives, Denim is enough to convince you that Jay was right about them not being an earnest band as he explains the story behind it. “It’s kind of like


a parody of the rock ‘n’ roll cliché of bands having enough of being bands and the lifestyle of them moving to the country and growing a beard and moving in with their wives and wearing double denim. You know George Harrison on the cover of Abbey Road? Total beard, wives, denim vibe going on there.” The album was recorded at a friend’s house in Eagle Bay, Western Australia where the band slept outside in tents turning the farmhouse into a temporary studio. It took just a week to record with the pop part of the songs formed before they set out to make the album. “We just immersed ourselves in it, it was intense, it was really intense because we were just getting fucked up and recording all day (laughs).” Amongst some bizarre incidents like drawing farm cows to the house whilst in the middle of three minute long jam sessions, the band utilised the bathroom to record vocals. Something that has been well documented in the press but Jay debunked the fact as nothing special. “A lot of home recorders record in the bathroom. I don’t think it’s that big of a thing but I guess it sounds kind of freaky. It’s just got a cool reverb in there, a cool echo.” It’s obvious that the band are happy that the album is now finally released but Jay’s feeling of “detachment” towards the record shows the obvious downside of the two year wait. “Your music is related to where you’re in life, and now we’re relating to where we were in life two years ago. So it’s kinda weird like that. But at least we can get on with the next one.” Pond are already looking towards the future, with the band heading back into the studio to record the fifth album in May, tentatively titled ‘Man it Feels like Space Again’. Songs off the forthcoming album will be road tested during their tour, Jay stating that they’re “next level songs, a lot more realised”. But when we get to hear this new album will be another thing, with Tame Impala’s second LP reportedly coming our way mid-2012 and the likely tour, where he hinted at a Splendour in the Grass appearance. Let’s just hope that the

next Pond album won’t be two years in the waiting.

Review Straight off the bat, this album differs greatly from Innerspeaker, although they both share similarities in the psychedelia that is present. But if you’re not a Tame Impala fan or a fan of the genre than don’t even bother. Pond is far less focused and without restraint, forgoing much of the general song structure that we know of today. In fact most of the time you spend listening to the album you deliberate on whether this a band just jamming in their garage for the hell of it, or if this is a serious rock ‘n’ roll group taking us on a musical journey not seen since the early music of Yes. While the songs on Beard, Wives, Denim start out with rock and pop sensibilities that most songs quite often do, where they differentiate themselves from the standard track is when you find yourself stuck midway through a two-minute jam. Much like on the head banging Leisure Pony, or from the ending of Mystery which beholds a gorgeous riff and then to the ambitious Eye Pattern Blindness. Then there are the songs which start mellow before taking you on a few turns of tempo changes. Fantastic Explosion of Time greets you with its crazy yet inane tendencies; within its silly nature you’ll find the brilliance of the opening track. If you take Beard, Wives, Denim too seriously than you will fail to immerse yourself in the albums guilty pleasures. You can quite easily get lost in the songs which take you on a roller coasters worth of up’s, downs and rhythm changes. Sometimes you lose track of where songs end and begin. It’s a musical adventure that you need to take at least five times to fully appreciate what Pond have crafted. But for those searching for another hit of psychedelic music, than this is one album that I highly recommend.

The Shins

Last Dinosaurs In A Million Years

Home Again

With a few new band members, Port of Morrow sounds a little more mainstream rock but don’t worry, the brilliance of the Shins that you know and love hasn’t been compromised. The apparent melancholy seems to have been largely left behind for more upbeat, family friendly and immediate textures. Throughout Port of Morrow there are sprawling layers of synth soundscapes that adds a touch of the weird factor. It’s the general song structures that make The Shins latest effort easily the most accessible album they’ve ever recorded. Laden with keys and radiant guitar hooks, James Mercer is also happy to lend a few more urgent vocals to the mix.

Last Dinosaurs debut album is an easy to listen too excitement machine. Exciting because it will probably be one of the most entertaining listens you’ll have this side of 2012.

Dubbed the most promising act of the year as the winner of BBC’s Sound of 2012 Poll, Michael Kiwanuka could have done without the added expectation and buzz.

Each song has a convolution which gives them their distinctiveness yet they’re simply so easy to like. Port of Morrow successfully sounds seemingly cheerful without the band comprising any of their luster. Port of Morrow only hints at being bizarre with its foray into more enveloping synth arrangements. But at times the upbeat and slightly safe formation, which is responsible for the make-up of the tracks on the record, contains their cleverness into something more satisfying rather than exceptional. It’s not a bold affirmation for a band that released their last album in 2007. But that’s not to undermine what’s impressive about Port of Morrow. Its buoyant attitude sometimes masks the complexity of the songs and this is where most will mistakenly criticise it. The Shins fourth album though, is an example of a band trying to make a vivacious record and given time you will realise that they have pulled it off.

The record is heavily guitar-based, much like what we’ve been hearing from England in years past. In places it can also have a synth touch not unlike Foster the People, which you can hear on Weekend. The diversity is shown on the ballistic I Can’t Decide where Caskey screams to almost grunge-like levels. The album should stamp Last Dinosaurs as one of Australia’s most enthralling bands. Unlike many debuts it doesn’t falter with a sense of immaturity and this might be because it’s taken the band a while to put it together. But In A Million Years has finally been given birth too and with it should come a swag of praise and many a new fan, it more than deserves all that it earns.

Port of Morrow

In A Million Years is an electric mix of the most infectious guitar riffs you will hear all year and pop that won’t fail to spring your body into action. From the undeniable Zoom, which quickly becomes lodged in your brain, to the Irish tinged chords on I Can’t Help You, this is a debut which is anything but dull, lively as hell and begs to be listened to repeatedly.

Michael Kiwanuka

He isn’t fussed with making bold first impressions, he’s quite content to do things in his own time. Tell a Tale takes you for a backward trip through to time, his soul and jazz opens the record with soothing tones of intrigue without breaking the spectacular barrier. The songs aren’t able to hold their own without being played as a full entity. While Rest and I Won’t Lie might sound harmonious enough, they could also lull you to sleep. There are however times when the tranquillity is pulled off in a way that its beauty is more apparent than its pace. Always Waiting wins you over with its dazzling composure and Any Day Will Do Fine has a warm charm worth waiting for. Home Again is anything but forced, calm and composed. It’s soulful subtly will lure some over but it’s lacking in a more apparent emotional strength will bore those looking for something that’s easier to relate with. While it may not be the most brilliant album you’ll hear this year, it gets away with being aesthetically pleasing and those looking for relaxing background music, go no further than here.

8.3/10 Corey Tonkin

Corey Tonkin

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

swinburne student union the swine april 2012




10 books you must read before you die A very wise man once said “you can never be overdressed or overeducated”. This wise man was Oscar Wilde. Never heard of him? Maybe you’ve seen the movie based on a play of his, starring Colin Firth and Rupert Everett, better yet; maybe you’ve actually read his play The Importance of Being Earnest. No? Too busy drinking beer and kicking back listening to 3SSR? Don’t worry, I get it¬–we’re uni students, we don’t get around to anything (well I mean, we do but only the night before it’s due, right?).

life might be a little extreme, but the items on the following list are not only classics or timeless pieces of work, they’re an institution for the mind to develop, to explore ideas and concepts that were deemed too radical for the time they were written. Some of these books are simply for entertainment value and offer nothing more than a pleasant escape with an enchanting storyline while others, will lead your mind down a path and into the life of those who experienced a much different world to the one we know today.

Now, if the title didn’t lose you at ‘books’ then I’ve probably still got your attention. Great! Stick around a little longer and I might just change your life. Okay so changing your

So in-between bungee-jumping and skydiving, I urge you; place this list of books to read before you die on your bucket list and if you do get around completing that list,

you’ll have done something great for yourself, I promise. The following are in no particular order as they all hold their own greatness in their unique way. Remember that pesky English teacher you had in high school that was always urging you to open your mind, broaden your horizons and read more? Well maybe, just maybe, they actually had a point. Pick up one of these books and give it a read, and if it doesn’t educate or entertain you then at least it helped you procrastinate from study for a little. Caroline Baker

To Kill a Mockingbird The Catcher in the Rye The Five People You J.D. Salinger Harper Lee Meet in Heaven It was written that In the twentieth century, To Kill a Mockingbird is probably ‘the most widely read book dealing with race in America, and its protagonist, Atticus Finch, the most enduring fictional image of racial heroism’. This novel is a classic in modern American literature; it is both humorous and sensitive of issues of racial inequality.

Nineteen Eighty-Four

Ever wondered where the concept of that trashy TV show Big Brother came from? Well it was derived from a concept created by Mr. Orwell. The novel of a totalitarian future society in which a man whose daily work is rewriting history tries to rebel by falling in love. This book explores theories far too advanced for the time of its writing.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower Stephen Chbosky

Cleverly narrated via letters from a socially awkward and shy freshman by the name of Charlie to an anonymous person. Readers follow the development of the protagonist as he is taken under the wing of two seniors. The story explores topics such as introversion and the awkward times of adolescence.

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Mitch Albom

This novel may come of a comfort to you if you hold a fear of death or have lost a loved one. Many people have ideas of what awaits them after death, Albom explores a beautiful concept that I believe could not have been written as flawlessly if by any other author.

C.S. Lewis

George Orwell


The seventeen-year-old narrator and protagonist, addresses readers directly from a mental hospital in southern California. The novel explores themes of teenage confusion, angst, alienation, and rebellion.

Without a doubt a fabulous read for a person of any age. It is the tale of four siblings and their adventures in the enchanting and fictional world of Narnia. Entertaining and creative, this novel was a gateway for a wonderfully creative series of novels by Lewis.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Of Mice and Men

You might of recognised this author, Hosseini was the mastermind behind The Kite Runner. This novel is a breathtaking story. It is a perfectly articulated history told through the experience of two generations of characters and their struggle for survival, happiness and hope of raising a family during the volatile events of Afghanistan’s last thirty years.

John Steinbeck

Set in harsh times, two men just trying to achieve the ‘American Dream’. An honest tale of friendship and hard work. It’s a short read as Steinbeck, a true artist of words, doesn’t need much to produce a classic tale that will never be forgotten.

The Diary of a Young Girl Anne Frank

An imperative read. To truly understand the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands one must read the diary kept by a fifteen year old girl whom spent two years in hiding with her family. Her memory will live on forever through her words like that of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Crane.

Khaled Hosseini

The Cat in the Hat Dr. Seuss

I don’t care how old you are. Read it. It is clever like all Dr. Seuss’ creations. It will bring you happiness and take you back to your childhood. Obviously it’s not a complicated read and it isn’t intended as a tool to spark intellectual conversation at the dinner table. But it is delightful and should most certainly be enjoyed by everyone in their lifetime.

swinburne student union the swine april 2012




dumpling noodle soup

the minzhu review:

chester white I’m a culinary fanatic at heart. Everything to do with food intrigues me. The aromas, the ingrediants origin, the prep-work and the presentation of the dish. It all stems from an array of childhood memories, my beautiful Grandmother Beatrice who never faltered in the kitchen, or as a caring and generous human being. I’m also lucky enough to have a very broad palate, giving anything a go at least once and, if I like it, I will always happily go for seconds. That said; I love going out for food as well. If I had my way I wouldn’t be purchasing so many cans of tuna from Costco (due to my tertiary education and lack of funds). Instead, I’d be happily critiquing a new restaurant every week and giving people an inside scoop before they make a booking. Unfortunately, that’s not possible. So this is for those special times you do get to throw a little more cash around than usual, be it for that anniversary, birthday dinner, or Valentine’s Day, here’s somewhere I prepared earlier.

Chester White

“Classy but not pretentious” 302 Burwood Road Hawthorn Vic 3122 Ph: (03) 9819 2200 Open: Mon – Thur 5:30 PM to Late Fri – Sun 12:00 PM to Late. Making a booking at this restaurant was a selflessly selfish act on my account. Chester White had had so much hype since it opened in 2011 (the co owner is George Sykiotis) that I was quite desperate to quash my curiosity. Walking passed the restaurant everyday on the way to uni, I felt like a little kid trying to peer into the upstairs dining without being spotted by the wait staff. My roommate, Mia, and I decided to go on a Wednesday evening. This is their BYO night and we’d had a bottle of white that Mia and I had saved for a special occasion. We decided to start with char-grilled lamb koftas, harissa and minted yoghurt on a bed of couscous ($12). The bright colours and simple


presentation made for an easy share plate to get the ball rolling. Mia immediately had her eye on the specials board and decided almost instantly that the char-grilled swordfish with chorizo, octopus and mash with wilted spinach and red wine jus was going to be her main ($34). I planted my eyes on the char-grilled Wagyu beef rump, red wine and shallot butter with hand-cut chips ($32). Mia had reported back favorably that the swordfish was divine. The flavors worked harmoniously together and the presentation of the dish was well executed. I was impressed with the presentation of the Wagyu, which was delicately and evenly fanned across my plate, tender and not overcooked (medium rare, as requested). By this point I’d taken a keen interest on the smaller details of the evening. The waiters had continuously filled our water glasses when they began to fall low, as with our wine. Our mains had arrived at the same time, at a reasonable rate after our starter, and the atmosphere seemed reasonably busy for a Wednesday evening. On another note, I’m not a huge fan of children, but I noticed that the restaurant was designed to be ‘kid-friendly’. There was an array of pencils and paper on offer by the waitress on the floor for the evening, keeping the little ones entertained at the table behind me. By the time we had finished our mains we were both gastronomically filled to the brim. We decided to share a Coeur à la crème, poached rhubarb and strawberries ($14). I was informed that this was French for “heart with cream”. The dish was sweet but not sickly, with the Coeur à la crème having the texture of cream cheese and a slight tang of natural yoghurt. It made for a decadent discovery upon tasting. I decided since I was reviewing the culinary delights and wait staff, to test the manager and see if he could take positive criticism with a grain of salt. After taking our plates and asking how we enjoyed our meal, I informed him that, although the texture of the dessert was lovely, my suggestion was to create a ‘deconstructed rhubarb crumble’

$10 budget recipe

over the winter season, to add a little more depth to the dish over the colder months. He happily thanked me for my suggestion and I was informed he would let the kitchen know of my proposal.

Indo Mie Mi Goreng instant noodles are a well known staple of any student kitchen and many fantastic meals can be created using this simple ingredient as a base.

Since my trusty food review partner in crime was a wine fanatic, I entrusted her to choose something from their wine list to compliment our dessert. The wine list at Chester White is broad, with half and half from Australian and European decent. Our waiter was comfortable with wine recommendations and suggested the Poggiotondo ‘Toscana Bianco’ Vermentino IGT, Tuscany Italy ($8 per glass) that we were happy to share. He came back with two small glasses of wine in hand and informed us that if we were sharing, we should have two glasses to savour the flavours. This was a nice touch on their part.

This is a Mi Goreng take on Dumpling Noodle Soup using standard issue Pork and Cabbage Frozen dumplings from the local Asian Grocer.

By the time the night wrapped up I decided I was satisfied with the service they offered, as well as the recommendations given and the quality of food overall. If you’re still unsure whether or not dinner would suit your occasion, Chester White also offers a $19 lunch special with pizza and a glass of house wine or tap beer. Either way, it was refreshingly surprising to see that Chester White’s classiness doesn’t come with a pretentious price tag. Pros: immaculate presentation. By far one of the cleanest and pristine venues I’ve enjoyed. The open planned kitchen brings the back of house to its customers. Hectic but well organized, making them part of the entertainment while waiting for your meal. Cons: the sound carries slightly like in the Swinburne Atrium, which wouldn’t usually bother me too much but we were hoping for something a little more intimate. Also, the rectangular table we were seated on was very small. Once the drinks and the meals had arrived we needed a lot more space. Entrées: $15 Dessert: $15

Mains: $32 Coffee: Signature Nicole Robinson

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

Instructions 1.

1Steam Dumplings over medium heat until cooked (30-40 min).


2Place Noodles in a serving bowl. Add bean shoots, dumplings and a sprinkle of pre-fried onions.


3Prepare broth by combining boiling water, Mi Goreng flavour sachets, peas, chilli and soy sauce to taste. Boil until peas are cooked. Pour broth over the noodles, cover and sit until noodles are cooked.

Ingredients •

1 Packet Indo Mie Mi Goreng Instant Noodle


4-6 Frozen Pork and Cabbage Dumplings

2 Cups Boiling Water

1/2 Cup Frozen Peas

1 Handful Bean Shoots

Pre-Fried Onions

*This recipe uses Doree fried onions and ABC Extra Hot Chilli Sauce. These can be found at many Asian supermarkets for a few dollars each and are excellent multi-purpose condiments.

Chilli Sauce

Soy Sauce

*Peas and bean shoots are used but any vegetable matter found in the fridge or on special can be substituted (Recommendations here; cabbage, carrot, mushrooms).

Do you know how to eat for $10? We want your $10 budget recipes! Email your recipe and a photo of your delicious but cheap dish to!

Suzy Creamcheese & Raoul Duke

does this look like you at a morning class? we’ve got you covered.

free breakfast monday-thursday 8am-10am

at the union bar - level 3 UN building, Hawthorn

monday 8:30-10:30am

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

at the quad, Prahran




why i joined the union it’s not just about the parties

having an absolute copper nanotube of a day? dr. shamrock investigates

In any field of Research, the main goal of Therefore you have to feel sorry for these which in the end leads to an unfortunate a research team is to produce and publish poor bastards from China- first author being abbreviation which many people in our articles showing their work. D. Yang and leader being L. Zhang. In society- namely women- disapprove of. The amount of time and effort that goes into producing results that can be published “The chemical symbol for Copper is Cu which would give us can be enormous. Then, once the results are produced it a Copper nanotube which in the end leads to an unfortunate can just about be as difficult abbreviation” to get them published and noticed around the world. The work must be presented in a succinct manner more suited to a wider their paper “Electrochemical synthesis The humorous thing is that this abbreviation audience and you must prove that your of metal and semimetal nanotube- nanowire is absolutely littered through this paper and, work is in the greater interest of the wider heterojunctions and their electronic transport in many points, put into quite suggestive community. These articles influence several properties,” they discuss a new kind of contexts. A few example would be “It can factors: Whether a researcher is employable, nanotube. be seen that the Copper nanotubes are quite the amount of funding a research group Don’t worry I won’t go into detail, all you uniform with a smooth surface,” and “walls of gets, and the overall reputation of a group or need to know is that previously there have the Copper nanotube being much thinner.” researcher. been Carbon nanotubes (CNT’s) and Silicon So anyway people often avoid the slang term Other problems can arise due to the language nanotubes (SiNT’s). These guys decided it by saying things like “see you next tuesday” or barrier as research happens all around the would be nice to form a metallic nanotube so “caring understanding nineties type.” Copper world. Most papers are published in English they chose Copper nanotube. I need to point nanotube might just be another way to say the so this can cause problems for non-English out here that the chemical symbol for Copper speaking people to get their work out there. is Cu which would give us a Copper nanotube bad word politely. Dr. Shamrock


swinburne student union the swine april 2012

Maybe I should have become a social worker. independent organization that is separate Along with the important stuff, also comes I find no greater joy than helping those from the University. This means that our the fun stuff. This includes parties, barbecues, from less fortunate countries than my own purpose is to represent your needs and affairs free breakfast four days a week and different or helping those around me. My name is to the best of our ability. In turn, if you’re not social events, such as trivia and comedy Nikki Robinson, and I’m this year’s Access sure about something, or feel like you need nights in our UN Bar to keep things easy and Equity Officer for Swinburne help figuring out where to go regarding an breezy between classes. These public events Student Union. By this stage are you’re probably thinking “Right, well they’re just a bunch of words, “We want to make a positive difference and ensure you get to what do they actually stand for, enjoy your time on campus, with hard work, dedication to your and how can you help me?” My role means that I get to affiliate studies and a few laughs along the way” with a range of great Welfare Representatives from our council, while working towards improving our campus culture. This can come from an issue, you can come to us and we can point array of avenues. Campaigns and fundraisers, you in the right direction. important, because it creates a social network committees and departments associated with on campus that lets you guys get to know us a One of our newest prospects we’ve taken representative roles, minority groups, social, little better. It’s not just about the parties; we’re up this year is our resurrected independent academic, cultural, health and wellbeing here for a chat and will endeavour to see to student run magazine ‘The Swine’. I couldn’t and student representation as a whole. In a that your voices are heard. We want to make be more proud of all the amazing people that nutshell, it means that there is a huge variety a positive difference and ensure you get to decided to contribute and volunteer their of people associated with the Union that are enjoy your time on campus, with hard work, tireless hours to this project. It might be here to assist you. dedication to your studies and a few laughs contentious to some, but censorship in society along the way. Our constitution states that to be a today is rampant. If you have an opinion, and nominated SSU representative, you must you want to speak on it, why not write about If you see us floating around campus, working be enrolled as a student. This is one of my it? This isn’t to say that it will definitely make behind the bar, handing out free snags or find favourite prerequisites, because it projects page four of our magazine, but we have an yourself in the same class as one of us, come an understanding that when and if you ever avenue where if you want to, you can voice say g’day! We’re a friendly bunch who would feel like speaking to one of us, you know your opinion to the larger demographic love to get to know as many new students that we’ve either been there, done it, can on campus. As my mother always told me as possible. As my esteemed colleague and sympathize with your situation or get where “Well behaved women rarely make history” friend Mark Briers says with the unofficial you’re coming from. To be fair, even if we - and lads, this goes for you too! Having a slogan of the SSU “Get amongst it!” haven’t, more than likely we know someone, democratically elected student council and a nicole robinson probably one of our peers, who have dealt magazine that allows students from all walks Access & Equity Officer with something similar. Another reason why of life to have their work published is a pretty Swinburne Student Union I love working for the SSU, is that we’re an amazing accomplishment.

swinburne student union the swine april 2012



survivalguide the dreaded

morning after Everyone dreads the morning after a big night out and that feeling of wanting to lie comatose in bed for the rest of your life, or the desperate attempt trying numerous crazy remedies to try and cure it, often worsening it than making it better. There are many fake solutions out there, and I’m here to bust them for you. Some I’ve learnt from experience but others are just plain obvious. But first, I think you need to know a little bit of the technical side of a hangover, yes there is one. Basically a hangover is a combination of a build up of alcohol, dehydration and vitamin deficiencies. The build up of alcohol in your system is actually the worst aspect of the hangover, considering that alcohol is a depressant, and slows your whole body system down to such an extreme level that it can’t keep up with anything. So putting all that aside, here are a few things that you should and shouldn’t do, to

headache but as soon as the pill wears off, the headache won’t be any better than when it started. It’s best to do things to fight off the problem, like having a banana, as it’s a simple fix that doesn’t take much effort to prepare and restores the vitamin levels in your body. All those people on the Berocca bandwagon have got it right as well—the Berocca helps the same way as a banana. Going for a jog or doing some form of exercise may be the last thing on your mind, but it does help. If you can power through the pain and sweat it out, it’s the quickest way the toxins can leave your system. Although not the tastiest of spreads, Vegemite can replenish lost Vitamin B and give a much-needed boost. There are some slightly weird cures out there and I only recommend them if you’re willing to weigh up the pros and cons. Sauerkraut juice or “Sauerkraut Hangover soup,” is a concoction of meats, vegetables and seasoning. So if you can stomach it, it does

“That 2am Macca’s pig out actually does you good. All that ‘nutritional’ goodness helps fasten your metabolism”

avoid that disoriented throbbing nauseous feeling from taking over your body. Firstly, avoid aspirin—it may seem like the most logical approach to that throbbing


have a fair amount of support behind it and might actually be worth it. Hangover cocktails may have some nutrition and vitamins in them, but the idea of adding to the toxicity that is already packed in your body and

possibly prolonging your hangover, doesn’t seem too good to me. If you dare, Turkish Tripe Soup might be on the cards to cure your pain. Made from various livestock’s stomachs, garlic and onions, it’s not the most delectable cure and I’d give it a pass. Doing things to soften the blow of your hangover the next morning is also a pretty good idea. They’re simple and you probably do them in your drunken stupor without even realising. That 2am Macca’s pig out actually does you good. All that “nutritional” goodness helps fasten your metabolism that in turn speeds up the time your body takes to process the alcohol. Good for you! Taking a Berocca before you start drinking will help keep your vitamin levels high before they inevitably get flushed out. Generally, sticking to the clear liquors will lessen the severity of your hangover and mixing drinks with juice will help keep you hydrated. Unfortunately guys and gals, wine and beer makes the hangover worse. All in all, get as raucous as you like because what else are these years of our life for? If something doesn’t work, then don’t do it again and try something else. Different things work for different people. But as long as you have the best night imaginable then I’m sure the hangover after it will be worth it. Amanda Sherring

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

winter woes

what to wear this season? Is it really that time of the year already? It’s out with the light, bright and beachy and in with the warm, thick and furry! This is no time to pout about the impending cold and grey weather, it’s time to embrace the cold and get that winter wardrobe looking its finest. This season it’s all about the heavier colours of the rainbow; rich plum, golden yellow, auburn and then of course our old friends, the neutrals. The

colours, materials and styles, the overriding look being an elegant descendant of the cowgirl boot with a slim ankle-length shape and comfortable heel. Jewellery is a must and in this season- size does matter, the bulkier the better. Wear overstated rings, earrings and chunky necklaces to balance out understated tees and jackets.

“This season it’s all about the heavier colours of the oversized jacket and boots with a hint of colour is the image of the season” aim of the game this year is to keep it simple. An oversized jacket and boots with a hint of colour is the image of the season. The sky is the limit when it comes to boots, stores are overflowing with an array of

Don’t let the cold drive you into a state of hopelessness and uninspiring attire, take the time to invest in some winter-musts and clasp the opportunity to layer and accessorize! Anya Gully

swinburne student union the swine april 2012


timeout horror-scopes you are in grave danger

timeout god of a tribe of Amazonian cannibals. With the Moon moving into your Megalomaniac Zone, you’re likely to become mad with power and have the cannibals play a primitive form of Wheel of Fortune on Thursdays for your own amusement. You’ll get your own when Bear Grylls stumbles across the tribe while filming his television series, ‘dispatches’ you, hollows you out and uses your carcass as a sleeping bag.



(October 23 - November 21)

(March 21-April 19) The position of Mars suggests that you will capsize in a canoe, and enter an alternate universe. Wookies will run the Republican Party, Linguini is the primary medium of exchange, Zebras are the main mode of transportation, and Bob Katter teaches Practical Ethics and Philosophy at Swinburne University of Technology. The Horror.


(April 20 - May 20) Taurans: immediately sell your computer, throw your phone off a bridge, change your address and get plastic surgery. From the trajectory of Venus, it’s become obvious that ASIO is closing in on you in connection with an international and highly illicit taxidermy network. Your membership with PETA and the World Wildlife Foundation will not throw them off the scent. Instead,

ground long enough, Mario Monte will rappel through the window, subdue Silvio with a taser-gun and aptly summarise that week’s lecture before letting class out 20 minutes early.


(June 21 - July 22) With a cluster of meteors passing through your Zone, expect your long-lost twin to

through floodwater after being stranded at your campsite with an annoying friend of a friend, who you only invited on the trip because so their miraculously attractive sibling I mentioned in last issue would come too. For a couple of seconds everyone will be really impressed, but when you slow down and the current starts to take you, the mortified look of sheer, total panic on your face will get caught on camera and the video put all over Facebook and YouTube, and you’ll become the butt of a vicious, widespread meme.

“Aries: You will capsize in a canoe, and enter an alternate universe...zebras are the main mode of transportation, and Bob Katter teaches Practical Ethics” you’ll have to go into hiding in Macau, change your name to Dr. Lindsay Van DeBeek, and speak with a dodgy Afrikaans accent for a few years. If you manage to do a better one than Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond, you should be fine.


(May 21 - June 20) Geminis - expect to have to defend the dignity and integrity of women everywhere when Silvio Belersconi shows up as the substitute tutor for your Contract Law class, and proceeds to gratuitously crack on to your female classmates. The angle of Orion’s Belt this month indicates that if you stand your


arrive from Uganda next Tuesday to explain that the whole Kony thing has been blown way out of proportion. After all, the Ugandan military all but eliminated the LRA ten years ago. Caught between your well-read twin and the ignorant armchair activism of your dim but devastatingly beautiful lover, you will find yourself paralysed by confusion and indecision. But fear not - solace will come in the form of an even more beautiful barista who hasn’t heard of Kony but loves Leonard Cohen and has meaningless but cool tattoos.


(July 23 - August 22) Your characteristic bravery will become foolhardiness when you attempt to swim


(August 23 - September 22) Virgos - beware a board game that cannot be mentioned for copyright reasons. Suffice it to say that you should expect an extremely hairy jungle-man to emerge from within the game to help you and your sibling deal with the complications of a stampede of elephants, violent monkeys, giant spiders, and a 19th century English hunter that is actually a symbol for patriarchal authority. But don’t worry - provided you dress like it’s the early 90s and adopt an American accent I don’t see any reason why you won’t come out of it all okay.


(September 23 - October 22) Your sense of judgement and diplomacy will become crucial after your plane flying over Brazil crashes and you are adopted as the new

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

Keeping in tune with your passions will reap unexpected benefits over the next few weeks Scorpios. You’re likely to inadvertently seduce an earth-shatteringly attractive Metro officer, turning a $200 fine into a hot movie date. Just be sure not to go and see The Lorax your date is a raging climate change denier, convinced that the People-Hating Greens are bent on subverting civilisation, and will storm out when the film’s environmental message becomes clear, reinstating your fine. Harsh.


(November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius - your attention for detail will become critical when a member of Kraftwerk suffers an allergic reaction while in concert and you are asked to replace them. Remember, they’re music scientists as much as they are gifted musicians - they invented most of the synthesisers they play in concert - so pay close attention when everything is quickly explained to you in German, and you’re forced to flip back and forth between a science book and a German/English phrase book


(December 22 - January 19) The phase of the moon provides incontrovertible proof that your ex will frame you for Regicide. Be sure to secure a very solid alibi every time any Royal dignitary visits Australia for the next 35 years. By that stage everything will have blown over and you can stop subscribing to Royal Family fan blogs. Until that time, spend 1 to 2 hours a night on them, just to be on the safe side. Sorry.


(January 20 - February 18) Aquarians; beware of charming, wealthy banana plantation overseers offering to take you out to see a hot jazz quintet. An ominous stellar configuration surrounding your Fury zone indicates that it will all end in a huge, personal, soul-destroying fight over the artistic integrity of television’s Mad Men, right in the middle of a killer Oboe solo, ruining the show for everyone.


(February 19 - March 20) Your powers of intuition will become critical when you inherit control over a massive and aggressive venture capitalist investment fund after a long-lost Russian uncle dies in a terrible big-game hunting accident in Zambia. Be sure not to invest in any projects related to immunisation - everyone knows they’re just a CIA conspiracy to dump very small amounts of nuclear waste in our bloodstreams because they’ve run out of storage space. Also, steer well clear of electric cars. Remember, giving up our obnoxious, impractical 4WDs is tantamount to letting the terrorists win. CEDRIC MOMBASSAA

Hello Prahran! The Swinburne Student Union, Prahran (SSU) has recently revamped and is open for business. We are in the process of setting up an amazing activities calendar, including food days, Union parties and off-campus events. Students are encouraged to visit us in room PK225 (just a few doors down from the health service). The Swinburne Student Union (est. 1971) is a team of students here for the students; you. Membership is only $20. What’s included? • An SSU membership card which gets member discounts in Hawthorn and Prahran (Food, drink, lifestyle and fun!) • A show bag filled with goodies • Members are able to come via our office and print off 20 pages (at no charge) • Free food at our on campus food events (limited to 1 comp food item per member) • Free entry to union events • Student support, Confused with a part of the enrolment process? Have an issue with your fees? Do you need an introduction to the campus life (tours/introduction to the online Swinburne services/new student workshop) Our office is open Monday to Friday. See the noticeboard on our door for hours. Appointment required for any student support services. We also welcome people wishing to join the team as a volunteer rep.

swinburne student union the swine april 2012


image: renee graham


thevitals June 2012

April 2012 Tuesday, 24 April

Union Event

Quizmeisters Trivia at Union Bar

Friday, 1 June


Higher Education Semester 1 Exams begin

Friday, 27 April

Withdrawal deadline

Last day to withdraw from Higher Education Semester 1 units of study without academic penalty TAFE Term 2 payment due date

Friday, 6 July

Census Date

TAFE Winter Term Census date

Monday, 11 June

Public Holiday Queen’s Birthday

Monday, 30 April

Union Event

SSU AGM at Union Bar

Tuesday, 1 May

Union Event

Members’ Night at Union Bar

Friday, 4 May

Census Date

TAFE Term 2 Census date

Saturday, 5 May

Union Event

Full Moon Party at Hawthorn Hotel

Tuesday, 8 May

Union Event

Movie Night at Union Bar

Tuesday, 15 May

Union Event

Movie Night at Union Bar

Tuesday, 22 May

Union Event

Quizmeisters Trivia at Union Bar

Friday, 25 May

End Date

Higher Education Semester 1 classes end.

Monday, 28 May


Higher Education Swot vacation commences.

Thursday, 31 May


Higher Education Swot vacation ends

May 2012

beauty and art

they say that beauty is pain. But so too is art.

They say that beauty is pain.

songs evoke pain. Good songs evoke pain. Being in unrequited love with the bass player evokes pain. Music is pain too.

But so, too, is art. As a photographer, you have to be prepared to feel uncomfortable. Physically and psychologically. You have to be prepared to sit, kneel, squat, get your knees dirty. You have to be prepared to see things, hear things that won’t always bring you joy. It’s the same for musicians. Standing on

And then, there are others. Acrobats, visual artists, dancers. Have you ever seen ballerina’s feet? Ballet is beautiful; just like perfectly shaped eyebrows are (or so we are lead to believe). The process of becoming a ballet dancer and the process of plucking eyebrows are both painful in their own rights. Dancing

“Aching shoulders and hands. Bags under his eyes. Fear, excitement, worry, joy, possibility. Pain”

a street corner, playing for hours, is often painful. Standing on a stage, singing about things that have hurt you or things that may eventually hurt you is painful too. Songwriters get cramps, guitarists get calluses, drummers get reputations. The rehearsal and recording processes are often quite painful too. Bad


Actors feel pain every day of their lives. They’re rejected for parts. They put themselves on the line. They audition and learn lines. They stand in lines, with hundreds of other people. They hurt. They cry. They achieve, but hope, still; they feel pain.

is an art. So is being a tightrope walker or a juggler or a contortionist or a gymnast. Cracked collarbones. Fractured ribs. Purple bruises. Sleepless nights. Sore limbs, toes, shoulders, heads, hearts. A young painter, preparing his first solo exhibition. Can you imagine the pain?

Carefully framing each piece, hanging them in a logical and aesthetically appealing order. Having pairs of eyes; scan each creation. Staying awake for 32 hours just to add that last . . . little . . . detail. Signing his name, over and over and over. Aching shoulders and hands. Bags under his eyes. Fear, hope, excitement, worry, joy, possibility. Pain.

Maybe art isn’t the same as beauty in every sense. But they share a common thread. Smooth skin is almost the same as a melody that flows; delicate lyrics are much the same as delicate eye makeup. A concave bob can be photographed, from several angles. What we perceive as being beautiful is often painful. But we are still lucky. To feel, is to be. Grace Goodfellow

swinburne student union the swine april 2012

july 2012 Friday, 6 July

Census Date

TAFE & Higher Ed Winter Term Census date

Firday, 6 July


Last day to withdraw from Higher Ed winter term without financial penalty

Monday, 9 July


Special Exams commence

Friday, 13 July

End Date

TAFE Semester 1 ends

Friday, 27 July

End Date

TAFE and Higher Ed Winter Term ends

Monday, 6 August

Start date

Higher Ed and TAFE Semester 2 starts

Friday, 10 August

Key date

Last date to add units of study for Higher Ed Semester 2

august 2012

free BBQ

for union members

thursdays hawthorn

wednesdays prahran

facebook/swinburneunion for details swinburne student union the swine april 2012


The Swine Edition 2  
The Swine Edition 2  

The Swine is the only 100% student-run publication in Swinburne University, Melbourne, Australia.