I can't tell you my name, or what city I live in, but for the time being, you can call me Anna. This is my life. I never knew who my real friends were. They either pretended to like me but secretly hated me or pretended to hate me but secretly loved me. You can imagine how confusing that is. I grew up in a catholic school for ten years. I had a pretty simple life. It was a life that I didn't appreciate until I left for high school. Everything has been pretty lame since I started my sophomore year. My freshman year was awesome. I wish it never ended, but nothing stays the same forever. I'm writing to tell the stories of my life and the lessons I've learned throughout it. I don't know who is going to read this or if anyone is going to read this at all. I just hope that I can express myself through words.
(LIGHTS UP. A girl is onstage alone with a spotlight on her.) ANNA. One night, I couldnâ€™t sleep. I wrote this poem. My Impossible Dream
I can see you, I can see your eyes, Youâ€™re beautiful,
I wish you could see me,
I know that we come from two different worlds,
We have nothing in common,
Sometimes, I wonder if I should even care,
But I do,
Show me that you care,
Can you see me?
Can you read my mind?
Do you know that I’m crushing on you? Do you know that you’re all I think about? Do you know that you’re my impossible dream?
Yes, I dream about you, I dream about everything that we could be, You will always be my imagination,
I know that it will never happen because you are my impossible dream,
I want you to know how I feel about you,
So guess what? I’m going to tell you, I love your brown eyes,
They are piercing and eye-popping yet beautiful and gorgeous,
The sound of your voice is like a poem that touches my heart,
I want to feel your touch and see your smile,
Standing right next to you makes my heart race,
You are my impossible dream that I never want to wake up from,
I will keep sleeping to keep you with me,
We are one heart,
I am one half and you are the other,
You are the one that will make me whole,
We are the impossible dream,
We are the impossible friends, I don’t know what happened or how I got there, but I was lying in the middle of the street with my best friend right next to me. When I finally got the courage to open my eyes, I saw blood. It was everywhere. I was covered in blood from head to toe. Cuts were up and down my arms, and my legs were burned to the 2nd degree. It was a wonder how I was still conscious. Everyone around me must have thought I was dead because I did not have the energy to move. I could faintly hear the sounds of sirens and people’s tears. At first, I thought that I had woken up from a terrible dream. I was at school. The final bell rang, and I walked to my locker to get my stuff. Then, I realized that I would soon be late to get to the bus, so I ran out of the building. As I ran, I saw something in the distance. I could feel the sense of a growing danger in my veins. It was Adam He was texting when a truck was coming around the corner. It was moving toward him faster and faster by the second. It was going to hit him, and he was completely unaware of it. When Adam and I were in the first grade, we made a pact that we would always be best friends and we would stay together no matter what. I ran in front of the truck to catch up with Adam. We both saw a flash of light, and were knocked onto the ground. We weren’t dead, but we stayed there motionless. I passed out for a while and woke up a little later. That’s when I thought it was a dream. It wasn’t a dream. It was real. I never gave thought to how I would die, but dying with my best friend seemed like the right thing to do. It is a terrible thing to outlive someone you love, so I decided to end my life with him. I wish I could tell him how I really feel. We always told each other everything, but there was one secret that I wish I hadn’t kept. I liked Adam as more than a friend. I loved him, but now he would never know. I tried to build up the energy to say something. It was impossible. I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do except for think. I can’t remember anything after thinking about how Adam would never know my true feelings. All I can tell you about the entire day is that we got hit by a truck, stayed there motionless, an ambulance came for us, and we were dead thirty seconds before it came. Our souls left our bodies peacefully. We could see ourselves. You know how you look in a mirror, and you can see yourself looking back at you? It was like that. The difference was that we could see more detail in
our faces. We were looking at ourselves in person. It happened so passively, but it was frightful at the same time. We were raised up. I just hope that the next girl who has a guy that she loves realizes what she has before she is about to lose him.
(LIGHTS UP on a classroom. STUDENTS maybe in 7th grade are sitting in groups chatting while JESSICA enters and sits down in her desk alone. SHE is reading a book when JAMES enters. There is a random pencil sitting on JESSICA’s desk. JASON sneaks over and takes it.) JESSICA. Did you just take my pencil?. JAMES(Innocently) I don’t know what you are talking about. JESSICA. Don’t give me that crap. Give it back. I need it for the math test. JAMES. Maybe I need it more than you do. JESSICA. You are going to fail regardless, so why bother? JAMES. Because If I have you’re pencil, you can’t use it. You will fail too, and that will torture you. JESSICA. You have nothing better to do, so you spend your time tormenting me? You need to get a life! JAMES. I could say the same thing about you. You’re always doing homework. JESSICA. At least I’m doing something useful with my time. What do you do? Look in the mirror and wonder why you’re so ugly? JAMES. (Thinking) I think I’ve figured out why you insult me every day. JESSICA. Yeah. I know why. Because I hate you! JAMES. No. JESSICA. Then why do you think, James? JAMES. (Flirty but annoying) It’s because you love me. (Jessica is angry and speechless at his response. HE continues. JAMES. Yes. It all makes sense. You’ve always loved me, and you don’t know how to express your feelings, so you slam me with every come back you can think of while hoping that I will never figure it out. Now, you don’t have to hide it anymore. What do you have to say about that? JESSICA. I say…. (SHE pauses for about 5 seconds) you’re a disgusting piece of crap. JAMES. Say what you want, but you don’t fool me. (In an immature sing-song voice)
Ha. You love me. You love me. Ha Ha JESSICA. One last thing… JAMES. What is it, beautiful? JESSICA. I hate you. JAMES. I love you, too.
(LIGHTS UP on a high school hallway. Two years have passed. JESSICA is getting her books out of her locker for her next class. The bell rings, and STUDENTS start entering into the scene as they are talking to each other, getting books for their next class etc. HANNAH enters hurrying to talk to JESSICA.) HANNAH. Dude, I hate Mr. Johnson. I swear. His life goal is to take away our social lives by giving us so much homework. JESSICA. Well, I told you not to take his class. HANNAH. Whatever. I just hope he doesn’t do this to us next weekend. There’s no way I’m doing homework. It’s homecoming. JESSICA. (Sighs) At least you have a reason to go. I don’t think anyone would go with me, and if no one has asked me by now, it’s definitely not happening by next week. HANNAH. Don’t be so mean to yourself. You know, you could be a little more confident. JESSICA. Well, I don’t know… (AARON enters with FRIENDS who seem to be laughing at something he said *ad lib*. JESSICA and HANNAH move over STAGE RIGHT) HANNAH. (Whispering to JESSICA) Isn’t Aaron the hottest guy you’ve ever seen?) JESSICA. He’s okay. I guess. HANNAH. You are so lying. JESSICA. I so am. I mean look at him. He’s too good for me. I don’t want to sound desperate. HANNAH. I thought you were desperate. JESSICA. Yeah. But I don’t want to sound like I am. (The Bell rings again. STUDENTS start to go to their next class.) HANNAH. I’m sorry. I have to leave. Mrs. Smith will kill me if I’m late again. (HANNAH rushes offstage leaving JESSICA and AARON alone in the hallway. SHE goes back to her locker. AARON notices HER standing alone. HE stares for a few moments.) AARON. (TO JESSICA) Hey. JESSICA. (Looking back at him and pretending to be uninterested) Hey.
(There is a short, awkward pause.) AARON. You’re in my math class right? JESSICA. (Realizing HE is making conversation)Yeah. I remember now. You’re Aaron. AARON. Yeah. I’ve seen you around. But I can never remember your name. JESSICA. (Nervous) Oh. It’s Jessica. And yes. I’ve known you for the last year, and I don’t think I’ve had an actual conversation with you. AARON. Well, we’re going to have to change that. Won’t we? JESSICA. (Pauses) What do you mean? AARON. (Smiles) I want to know you. (Bell rings. AARON frowns) Oh. I have to go to class now. (Hopeful) I’ll talk to you later? (JESSICA smiles and nods her head.) AARON. (Smiling again) Great. (BOTH exit on opposite directions.) (Monologue: JESSICA is standing alone on the stage talking to the audience.) JESSICA. I honestly don’t know what is going on right now. I’m so confused. It’s worse because I should be happy. I LIKE Aaron. He’s one of the most beautiful guys I have ever known. And he’s one of the nicest. It’s like impossible to find a guy that is hot but doesn’t have a huge ego at the same time. And now I’ve found him. Let me explain. He asked me out today. Yeah. I don’t know. I knew he was kind of into me, and I was really into him. But something just doesn’t feel right about this. It was like I was forgetting something when I said yes. It was like I was forgetting…….someone.
(JESSICA and HANNAH are talking on the phone. It is a split scene. They are in two different places.) HANNAH. (eager) So what did Aaron say? Tell me everything. JESSICA. He said that he’s liked me for a really long time and that I’m so beautiful. I don’t know how this happened. One day, I’m invisible. Then, the next, I have the perfect guy after me.
HANNAH. You’re making it sound like it’s a bad thing. Every girl I know would love to be you right now. Are you okay? JESSICA. Yeah. I’m fine. (JESSICA is really deep in thought and is obviously holding back emotions.) HANNAH. So are you and Aaron going to homecoming together? JESSICA. (Comes out of her deep thoughts) What? HANNAH. You and Aaron? Homecoming? JESSICA. He asked me, but I’m not so sure if I should actually go with him. HANNAH. (Shocked) Why? What’s wrong? Like seriously….he’s so hot and he’s totally into you! (Pause) Are you sure you’re okay? JESSICA. Hannah, can I ask you something? And I want you to be honest. HANNAH. What is it? JESSICA. (Hesitant) Have you considered that when you meet someone that wants to be with you, there’s always going to be someone out there that will love you more? HANNAH. What do you mean? JESSICA. What if you left the person that really loves you to be with someone that is just hot? HANNAH. I guess that would be a tough decision, but I wouldn’t know. (Pause) I have to go. See you tomorrow? JESSICA. Yeah. I better get some sleep so that I can actually have the energy to think about this. (JESSICA and HANNAH hang up the phone.) (The setting is JESSICA’s dream. ANNA will come and talk to her about her confusion with AARON and JAMES. There is a bench in the middle of the stage but nothing else. JESSICA is sitting alone quietly looking upset. ANNA enters and sits down next to her.) JESSICA. Who are you? ANNA. My name is Anna. I’m here to help you. JESSICA. How do you know that I need help? ANNA. I’m dead. I watch over people. JESSICA. OK. But where am I? ANNA. Well, you’re dreaming, and I am here to give you advice. What is on your mind? JESSICA. Why should I trust you?
ANNA. Because I know how you feel. I went through it, and because of it, I’m dead. I died with the guy I loved. JESSICA. OK. I will tell you the story, but I have to warn you. It’s a long one. ANNA. Well, I have all the time in the world. JESSICA. Will you go out with me? That’s what the note said. My heart sank to my stomach when I read the most shocking words I had ever read in my lifetime. I’m not saying that my life was long. I was only twelve, but I was still scared out of my mind. I didn’t feel that way about Andrew. We already had the best friendship a girl could ask for. Why ruin it? I had found the note in my locker on Valentine’s Day 2007. There wasn’t anything I could do right at that moment, so I went to my first class. Even though I hated math, I wanted to stay there all day because I was dreading English. James was in that class with me. I wasn’t sure if I was more shocked at the note or the fact that I didn’t see it coming. A week earlier, our school had a dance that I really didn’t want to go to, but I felt obligated to go. It’s better to not miss anything. Right? I was wrong. For most of the night, I just sat in the corner with my friend Toby. We want to go out and have fun, but we are afraid of what people might think. We aren’t quiet because we’re shy. We’re quiet because we have nothing to say. All of our thoughts are kept to ourselves. I was sitting with Toby, talking, and drinking Mountain Dew when James walked up to me with a nervous smile. “Jessica,” he stammered hopefully. “Would you like to dance?” I wasn’t focused on the possibility that he liked me as more than a friend. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. “Sure.” We walked together to the middle of the dance floor. I looked at him, and he looked back at me. He had this sparkle in his eyes that made me feel really awkward. I wanted to run out the door and take a taxi back home. I had never danced with anyone before. I wasn’t sure how it was supposed to happen. When you’re at a middle school dance, it doesn’t happen like what you see in movies. All you do is stand there and rock back and forth. Personally, I thought the whole thing was pointless. No offense to James, but what does it really mean?
I put my arms on his shoulders, and he put his arms around my waist. Bad Day was playing. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I felt bad because he had the courage to ask me to dance, and I was being rude by not looking at him. What kind of a friend am I? What was going on? James and I are best friends. We met in the 3rd grade. We sat together at lunch every day. I could tell him anything, and I felt so awkward dancing with him. Why? The song ended, and relief finally came. If there was anything I hated, it was awkward moments. This was three minutes of awkward. I went back to the snack tables to talk to Toby again. Everything was exactly how it started. Maybe the reason why I felt so weird with James was because I liked someone else. Aaron was perfect. He was the type of guy that every girl wished was hers. He wasn’t at the time, but once we got out of 8th grade, every girl wanted him. He got hotter and hotter every year. I’m pretty sure that I was only one that liked him; I could be wrong. He was the typical brown hair, brown eyes basketball jock. I wanted to dance with him. I wasn’t the kind of girl that could just walk up to any guy and talk to him. Getting a boy’s attention wasn’t one of my strengths. In order to get a guy’s attention, you have to be pretty. Looks aren’t everything, but they are something. Everyone that has ever told me that I’m beautiful is a relative. I can’t believe that I’m beautiful until someone other than my grandmother tells me. I’m not ugly, but I’m not beautiful either. How was I supposed to talk to him? Wait. I don’t have to. I can get somebody to ask him for me. “Caitlyn,” I called, “Can I talk to you?” I wasn’t expecting her to do this for me, but she was the first person on my friends list. If anybody would talk to him for me, it would most likely be her. “Hey. What’s up? I haven’t seen you all night.” “It’s good to see you too,” I said. “So will you ask Aaron if he wants to dance with me?” Caitlyn gave me a confused look. “Why can’t you ask him?” “Um-Toby was telling me something, and I really want to hear what he has to say.” That was such a bad lie. Toby is not one to carry a conversation. There’s no way he would ever tell me anything even moderately interesting. “OK. I’ll go ask him,” Caitlyn agreed reluctantly. “Do you like him?” “What? No. He’s not my type.” I was lying again. My lie turned out to be half true. Aaron was not my type at all. I wish I could have realized that. It would have saved me so much trouble.
ANNA. Well, if Aaron is obviously not you’re type at all then how is it tough decision? You could just reject both of them. JESSICA. Well, as we got older, Aaron became more mature, and he never knew that I liked him. But James has gotten more annoying over the years. It’s completely obvious that he still has a thing for me after all these years. When he tells me that he loves me, I have this weird feeling that he means it. ANNA. When you think about him, how do you feel? JESSICA. Annoyed, like I want to punch him in the face. ANNA. (Pause. She smiles.) You need to listen to what’s in your heart and not what’s in your head. (LIGHTS UP on school hallway. JESSICA and AARON are standing in front of the lockers.) JESSICA. I’m sorry Aaron. It’s just that when you told me that you like me, it reminded me of someone else who did. (Pause) And I can’t break his heart the same way that mine has been broken so many times before. AARON. You know I don’t get it. You would have killed to date me and that loser James shows up and you’re saying you want to date him? JESSICA. What? How did you know I was even talking about him? I never told you anything. AARON. Who else liked you in sixth grade? Not me. Not then and not now. JESSICA. Then why did you ask me out? AARON. Caitlyn told me you had a crush on me, and I thought it was hilarious. So my friends dared me to ask you out for $100. But whatever, I can’t believe you fell for it because you will never find someone like me. JESSICA. I sure hope not. (JESSICA storms out of the room and sits on the sidewalk outside the high school. JESSICA is now crying convinced that no guy would ever want her. She hasn’t seen JAMES in 2 years and has no idea where he is now. A GUY is scene off to the right watching her. He slowly approaches her.) GUY. Hello. Are you okay? You look like you need help. JESSICA. I’m not sure what you could do to help me. You wouldn’t understand. You don’t know how painful this is. GUY. Maybe I will if you tell me what’s upsetting you. JESSICA. (Pause) This guy asked me to homecoming, but it turned out to be a bet he made with his friends. I meant nothing to him except for the $100 he would have made by going out with me. (The GUY sits next to her.)
GUY. What’s your name? JESSICA. (Stops crying.) Jessica. What’s yours? GUY. You can call me James. Would you like to dance? JESSICA. What? That’s random. JAMES. Well, do you want to? JESSICA. (realizing who he is) I’d love to. (THEY slow dance for about 2 minutes. JAMES kisses JESSICA.) JAMES. You’re my sweetheart.