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had enough. It was heartbreaking. Did he apologize?
Of course he did. But there’s only so many times you can take it. I was really unhappy. He was unhappy. We were just spent. Do you believe he was cheating on you?
He assured me he wasn’t, but that wasn’t the perception of people around us. We live under the spotlight, so you can’t act a certain way . .. you might be friends with your ex, but it doesn’t look good. But I do believe he wasn’t cheating. And I hope that was the case. Then why was he going out with ex-girlfriends?
He just still wanted to live the life of a bachelor. He said, “You’re not going to change me; this is who I am.” I said, “Okay.” And then I just became more unhappy. I felt like I was constantly defending him and trying to smooth over situations where the other women on the show were accusing him of cheating. Did watching your marriage play out on TV help you with your decision to divorce?
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What has the experience taught you?
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Just eight months ago you and Tom were celebrating your marriage. What happened?
What was the last straw for you?
He went out with an ex-girlfriend and got caught. We had spent the day at events in the Hamptons and then at a beautiful dinner party. We had friends staying, and it was around 11:30, and we were just hanging out in the kitchen when he announced he was going out on his own. We were all ready to go to bed, but he ended up meeting up with an exgirlfriend. And then the gossip columns called on Sunday to ask me about it. And I had just September 18, 2017 PEOPLE
Luann’s Former World 1. “We had the same energy,” de Lesseps says of her attraction to D’Agostino Jr. “We loved a lot of the same things. And he was funny.” 2. Inside their lavish New Year’s Eve wedding. 3. Bethenny Frankel meeting Tom for the first time on the set of RHONY in 2016.
You can’t change people. I really thought he would change because I was the one for him. I really trusted my heart and my instinct, and I loved him. He had all these years to marry somebody and he didn’t, so I thought if he wants to marry me at 50 years old, this man really loves me. I knew he loved me. And do you still love him?
I do love him as a person, yes. But it’s like a Greek tragedy—an impossible scenario that won’t work. He’s not a bad man, he just wasn’t ready for marriage. I tried hard. I’m sure people will think, “Oh, you tried really hard for seven months,” but it was a long seven months! I feel strong in the decision that I made. There’s a sense of relief. I think he’s relieved too. The show was a strain on your relationship. Did you ever think of giving it up?
I would’ve given up the show for Tom if I had a marriage that was working. How have you and the kids [Victoria, 22, and Noel, 20] been since the breakup?
This has been one of the toughest times of my life. That, and getting divorced the first time.
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: CHANCE YEH/FILMMAGIC; GREG ENDRIES/BRAVO
There was the honeymoon period of about five months when it was just the two of us in Palm Beach, but then Tom got caught in the press going out and meeting with exgirlfriends. That caused a lot of fights.
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Yes. I wouldn’t have known he said to his ex Missy, “I’m a dog with a collar.” I wouldn’t have known he told her, “I get all choked up when I see you.” Those comments were hurtful and not respectful of our marriage. At the reunion my blinders came off. I was like, “What the hell am I doing?” Bethenny said, “If he did those things to me, I’d be in the bathroom crying.” But still, I didn’t want to see it.